Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 17 [Vault]

Date: March 17, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Summary by: Podcast Summarizer AI

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into real-life, quirky, and thoughtful conversations with listeners across a range of topics, focusing primarily on family boundaries (like being forced to sleep in separate rooms when visiting parents/in-laws), near-death experiences, and the idea of being soulmates with celebrities. The cast keeps the tone lively—jumping from playful ribbing, to empathy, to shock, and right back to laughs.

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Key Discussion Segments

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1. Sleeping Arrangements at Parents' Houses

[01:00 – 12:49]

Theme:
The team and callers discuss the personal (often awkward) rules surrounding couples sleeping arrangements when staying at parents' or in-laws' homes—even after marriage.

Highlights and Callers' Experiences:

• Original Listener Dilemma:
  A listener is upset her mother will let her and her boyfriend move in (after a layoff) but insists they sleep in separate rooms—although they’ve dated for two years ([01:00]).
• Cultural & Religious Roots:
  • “I’m not shocked. We’re in the South.” – Co-host ([01:38])
  • Rosie shares her Puerto Rican, non-Southern parents’ strictness: “We got married civil first...We moved in together in between the civil wedding and the church wedding. Well, my mom got very angry…every time we went to visit we had to sleep in separate rooms. I felt like a kid.” ([01:45])
• Religious Justifications:
  • For some, only a church wedding counts: “They don’t recognize your marriage because you weren’t married in a church?...She said we were living in sin.” – Host & Rosie ([02:13])
  • Others note open-door policies for married couples: “Her parents are extremely religious…Southern Baptist…Even when we’re staying there, we can’t shut our own door. I’m 26 years old.” – Mark ([03:45])
• Generational Quirks:
  • Kelly describes her mother’s “strict Catholic” stance—her husband can’t stay because their marriage wasn’t in the Catholic church ([04:48])
  • George recalls his grandparents always made his married dad sleep on the couch—“I just always give grandparents a pass. I mean, they’re old school” ([05:33])
  • Melissa tells how her grandparents still only have old twin beds in all guestrooms—a literal barrier: “Every bedroom has those old school twin beds. So they’re so small that you can’t even sleep in it by yourself.” ([07:03])

Standout Exchanges:

• "I was just gonna say, I would do the same thing [rent a hotel]." – Host ([03:20])
• “It’s like they can’t let go of her being a little girl.” – Co-host ([04:14])
• Bert’s self-admitted blunder: "You know there’s no T in Southern. The word southern, right?" – Host ([07:48])
• On parents as guests:
  • John refuses to let his stepmom (who sleeps and walks around naked) spend the night at all – turning the scenario upside-down ([08:17])
  • Kim separated her own parents as adults during their visits: "My dad had a sick fetish...he liked sex in other people’s houses…God forbid you’re having sex in my bed." ([09:19])
  • Bert laughs: "That’s not really a fetish, I don’t think. I think that’s called liking to have sex." ([10:42])

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2. Near-Death Experiences

[12:49 – 22:41]

Theme:
Listeners call in to describe life-altering close calls and how (or if) those experiences change their perspective on life.

Memorable Stories:

• Cardiac Arrest in a Bar:
  • “I went into cardiac arrest when I was 22. I had walked into a bar and immediately passed out. No idea what was going on…Was in the hospital for two weeks, spent three days in a coma.” – Brandy ([13:17])
  • “It completely changes your life forever…It’s been three years, and I still think about it all the time.” ([13:40])
• Seizure and Drowning during Swim Practice:
  • “When I was 17, I had a seizure while I was swimming and pretty much drowned…My heart stopped because I was drowning.” – Megan ([14:25])
  • “I remember waking up in a hospital bed and almost not knowing where I was…but I do remember seeing my dad and just bawling my eyes out.” ([14:25])
• Car Rollover as a Kid (from a co-host):
  • “We got into a really, really bad car wreck…our van wasn’t supposed to make it according to crash reports.” ([16:24])
• Surviving a Grenade Explosion in Bosnia:
  • “When I was 12, where I’m originally from, we had a war and literally the grenade fell two feet away from me…The only thing that helped me is I laid on the ground right next to it and the stuff from the grenade actually goes up instead of down. So that was the only thing that actually saved my life.” – Thelma ([17:36])
  • “It kind of went blank because all I could hear is a noise in my ear and it was ringing really loud…literally, I was just kind of stunned.” ([18:36])
  • “It opened up my eyes better and I appreciate life a lot more now.” ([18:08])
• Trampled During NYC Subway Escalator Incident:
  • “I had footprints all over my legs…for me, a lot of people think that you miraculously all of a sudden have an appreciation for life. For me… I actually was quite depressed…It took five years for me to wake up and stop allowing people not to treat me a certain way.” – Emily ([20:23])

Notable Host Commentary:

• "After something like that would happen to me… I imagine I would get this sense of, okay, I was saved here for some reason, and then I could see you sort of like searching for the rest of your life to find out what that reason why was I saved today? What am I supposed to do here?" – Host ([22:41])

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3. Soulmate Fantasies About Celebrities

[26:04 – 31:20]

Theme:
Light-hearted confessions about which celebrities listeners believe are their “soulmates” (often with playful, self-aware delusion).

Standout Moments:

• Prince as a Soulmate:
  • “I’ve thought this since I was like, 11 years old, okay?...Every time [at concerts] I feel like, you know, he’s looking at me, he just has yet to pull me out of the audience.” – Amy ([26:31])
• Travis McCoy from Gym Class Heroes:
  • “I’ve met him actually, like, three or four times at the shows and everything like that…We just have a connection. I just know it.” – Trish ([27:57])
  • When asked why she keeps believing: “He’s busy. He’s a celebrity. I don’t wanna press him.” ([28:55])
• Reese Witherspoon Soulmate Confession:
  • “Her smile, her eyes. I mean, you could just fall into a, you know, fantasy.” – Tim ([29:39])
  • “Then Jake Gyllenho[al] came along, ruined the whole damn thing for you.” – Host ([29:48])
• Soulmate with a TV Character:
  • “It’s not Matthew Perry. It’s Chandler Bing.” – Tara ([30:51])
  • “He doesn’t exist.” – Co-host ([30:54])
  • “I guess I’ll be searching forever for my soulmate.” – Tara ([30:55])

Humor & Ribbing:

• “If you want your name on a folder at the FBI in world headquarters, use the word ‘soulmate’ in a fan letter.” – Co-host ([27:21])
• “When I was a little kid, I desperately wanted Michael Jackson to be my babysitter…Looking back, you know that’s a bad idea, right?” – Host ([27:32])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We got married civil first and we had our church wedding planned, but we moved in together in between…”
  – Rosie, on frustrating family expectations ([01:55])
• “It almost comes off as being a little bit rude…by us going to stay at a hotel when the rest of the family’s staying at their house.”
  – Mark, on his in-laws' rules ([03:22])
• “My grandparents even sleep that way too to this day.”
  – Melissa, on twin beds for married guests and hosts ([07:34])
• “The thought of my parents having sex was gross to me. That’s awesome.”
  – Kim, on making her parents sleep in separate rooms ([10:18])
• “It completely changes your life forever, or is it just temporary then you just go back to being Brandy?”
  – Host to caller Brandy ([13:40])
• “Our van wasn’t supposed to make it according to crash reports… you go back and you think about everything that went right in the situation.”
  – Co-host reflecting on a car crash ([16:24])
• “The only thing I could literally think about is I’m gonna get shattered to pieces because you really can’t survive that.”
  – Thelma, grenade survivor ([17:36])
• “I had footprints all over my legs...for me...I actually was quite depressed...It took five years for me...”
  – Emily, post-trauma reflections ([20:23])
• “Jake Gyllenho[al] came along, ruined the whole damn thing for you.”
  – Host, riffing on a caller’s celebrity crush ([29:48])
• “It’s not Matthew Perry. It’s Chandler Bing…Guess I’ll be searching forever for my soulmate.”
  – Tara ([30:50])

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Timestamps for Main Segments

| Segment | Start | End | |-------------------------------------------|-----------|-----------| | Sleeping Arrangements/Family House Rules | 01:00 | 12:49 | | Near-Death Experiences | 12:49 | 22:41 | | Celebrity Soulmate Confessions | 26:04 | 31:20 |

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Tone & Takeaways

• Tone:
  Real, playful, empathetic, and at times irreverent. The show is designed to foster connection and laughter—even when discussing sensitive or awkward topics.

• Takeaways:

  • Family values and customs (cultural, generational, religious) can trump logic—and comfort—around sleeping arrangements.
  • Near-death experiences don’t always deliver Hollywood epiphanies; reactions range from gratitude to depression.
  • Our celebrity “soulmate” musings are universal, often silly, but deeply human.

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For more listener drama, pop culture, and the distinctive Bert Show streetwise warmth, check back daily!

Transcript

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[Host (The Birch Show)]

The Birch show took a call about 10 minutes ago from a virtual listener just complaining she has to move in with her her mom because she and her boyfriend can't afford to live by themselves anymore. He got laid off. So they're looking for something and the mom offered to have him stay with her, pay $500. But they have to sleep in separate rooms. And our listener was really upset by that. We've been going out with each other for two years while we got to sleep in separate rooms. We thought the real shocking call would be if you're married and when you go over to your parents house, even as a married couple, your parents still say, uh, no, no, no, no, you gotta sleep in separate rooms. And it's apparently not that unheard of.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

I'm not shocked. We're in the south.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Really?

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

Yeah, we're in the south.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

We're sat on the ss.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I'm so surprised.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Hey, Rosie. Good morning.

[Caller or Co-host (Morning greeting)]

Morning.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

My parents are actually not southern. I'm not southern. I'm from up north, but my parents are Puerto Rican. So that's, I think, worse than southern.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

More stress.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

We got marri a civil wedding first and we had our church wedding planned, but we moved in together in between the civil wedding and the church wedding. Well, my mom got very angry. And not only that, but every time we went to visit we had to

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

sleep in separate rooms.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

I felt like a kid.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

It was horrible.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So they didn't recognize your marriage because you weren't married in a church?

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Absolutely not. She said we were Living in sin. And that I had so disappointed her and my other two sisters had messed up and now I had. She had all her hope in me and I just, you know, threw all that away.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So she made you guys sleep in separate rooms when you would come over?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Yeah, she's over it now.

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

Three kids later and years later, you

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

know, but she gave us hell.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

That would be funny is if even with three children, I know I've got grandbabies, but you and the father cannot sleep the same way, Right?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

We did have one call that dropped out. Calling and saying just that, that my parents wouldn't let allow us to sleep in the same room until we had kids.

[Caller or Co-host (Morning greeting)]

Okay.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Until we were.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

But they were married, right?

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

They were married. That's weird.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Strange, right? Hey, Mark, Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Hey, good morning, Berto.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Morning.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

My wife's parents are the exact same. We'll go to visit them on the holidays and try and stay with them and they end up just wanting us to sleep in separate rooms. They already got our rooms made up and everything. And. Yeah, it's gotten to the point where every time we go to visit, we just end up renting a hotel.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yeah, I think I was just gonna say I would do the same thing.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Yeah, it almost comes off as. It almost comes off as being a little bit rude to, you know, her parents and stuff by us going to stay at a hotel when the rest of the family' staying at their house. But, you know, I mean, we've been married for almost eight years now and. Yep, almost eight years. And it's the exact same problem.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Do they explain to you why? I mean, do they say anything or they just have your rooms ready?

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Her parents are extremely religious. I believe they're Southern Baptist. And they, they. She was the kind of kid that grown up, she was not allowed to have boys in her bedroom. Anytime they open door policy in all the house, even when we're staying there, we can't shut our own door. I'm 26 years old, and when I stay at their house, I have to leave my door open.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

And you guys have been married for eight years. Eight years.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Eight years.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

It's like they can't let go of her being a little girl. That's it, you know, she's still their little girl in her. In their minds. It's like. I mean, she is a woman who has been married for eight years. Let her grow up, you know.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

No shortage of calls here. Wow, Kelly, you're part of the bird show. Hi.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

Hi.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

How are Y' all good?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

How are you?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Good. So, well, my situation is a little

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

bit more like the first girl that originally called in. I moved back in with my parents, like, last June, and for the same reason, financial reasons. But my.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

They wouldn't.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

They won't let my husband stay there because my parents, mainly my mom is, like, really, like, strict Catholics. And because we're not married in the

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Catholic Church, they don't recognize that we're married at all.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Wow.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

At least. There's. At least here. Even though it doesn't. I don't agree with it. I can understand part of the argument.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

You're so religious. Religion.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

At least there's some kind of reason here. Whereas with the last call, there's nothing at all.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

No reason.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Eight years later, he can't even be behind a closed door with his wife.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I think they're just not into him.

They're just not that into you.

Yeah, that's just sort of what I was saying. And we don't like who you married.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Now here come the calls about the grandparents. Hey, George. Here on Q100. Hi.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Hey.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Yeah, so my grandparents always made my dad sleep on the couch. And there's five of us kids, so. Five kids running around, and my dad had to sleep on the couch.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I just always.

I know it sounds crazy. I just always give grandparents a pass. I mean, they're old. Old school, you know, you got five kids running around.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

They're doing it, it's doing it.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

They just don't want it done. Obviously they don't want it done in their house. That's the difference.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

One that doesn't make sense is you can't. You can't spend your night in the same bed until they have kids first. You know, the. Until there's children. Because it's almost like you guys aren't doing it until. Oh, look, there's a kid. You must be. All right, you can do it now.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Strange. Okay, I got what I know. We won't get any calls on. I got it, I got it, I got it. It has to do with this. If you're the kid and when your parents come over, you don't allow them to spend the night in their own room.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

That doesn't exist.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

That can't exist. There's no way.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Somebody making it up.

Step parent who they don't like. And when they come over, they don't let me.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

That could be the only scenario. If you are the kid. When your parents come over to the house, you demand that they sleep in separate rooms. I finally got Are you just going to get any calls on that for this?

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. This one, this one.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Good morning, Melissa, you're on Q100.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

Hi. I been married for 17 years. I have three children. And not only am I not allowed to sleep in the same bed with my husband at my parents house, but my grandparents as well. And in my grandparents house, every bedroom

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

has those old school twin beds. So they're so small that you can't

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

even sleep in it by yourself.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

You just roll off every time you sleep over yourself.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

It's like the old Brady Bunch episodes where Mike and Carol had to be in two separate bed.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I know. They were the first ones to be in the same bed. Lucy and Desi were the ones that were in the same bed.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

That's right. With the nightstand in the middle.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I was a tv, alcohol, you know, TV holic or whatever you call it when I was a kid. So I'm not surprised though because her parents, one of her parents, whoever is the child of the grandparents learned it from them.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Right, right.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

You know, my grandparents even sleep that

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

way too to this day.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

I mean, I could see my dad if I ever got married. Separating.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

No way.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

Oh yes, definitely. My dad is southern to the T. I would.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

But you're married.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

I wouldn't even ask.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Yeah.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You know there's no T in Southern. The word southern. Right.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

I just. Yeah, there is.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

South. Oh yeah, there is. God, do I feel like an idiot for the second time in 20 minutes.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Blame it on the cold medicine.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I'm not even on cold medicine. Damn.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I'm trying to help. Let's go with it.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I was absolutely sure we wouldn't get any calls from kids that don't let their parents, I don't know, spend the night in the same room.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Is it a step parent?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I don't know. Hey, John.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Hey, how you doing?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Okay.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

It is absolutely a step parent. When my dad and his wife come over, I will not let them sleep together in the same room. And I have perfectly good reasoning. This lady sleeps naked. My five year old.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Okay, wait, what is.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

I didn't understand.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

She has a 5 year old and his. The stepmother sleeps naked. I guess.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

But I don't understand why.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I don't understand. Are you still there, John?

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Yeah, I'm here.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

But why does that.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

What's the difference?

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

If the stepmom, she walks around the house naked late in the evening time. I just, you know, I don't feel comfortable with that.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

But that doesn't make any sense to me.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah. So they can't sleep.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So they can't be in the house at all or what?

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

No, not in the house at all.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

So you don't even let her spend the night?

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

She's not even allowed.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

She doesn't apply then?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yeah, she's. She's not even allowed over the house at night, so that's not the same thing.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah, we're moving on to Kim, who's got a more relevant story.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Why are you so mean?

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

I'm not. I'm just saying that didn't apply.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Good morning, Kim. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Hi.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

I do not let my parents sleep in the same room when they come to visit. Of course, now they're both deceased. But it's not because I didn't love my parents. It's because my dad had a sick fetish.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

He.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

One of his big things was to have sex and other people's houses when he spent the night. So knowing this growing up. Well, not really growing up, but since I was a teenager, it came out, and I overheard my mom say it when she was joking about it. I was like, God forbid, you're having sex in my bed.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

But they're married, and it's not a fetish.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I don't care.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

That's gross. That's my mom and dad.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah, but it's your parents.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

They had to do something to get you here.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

They can do it at home.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

Not at my house.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

They do it at home.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yuck.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Yeah, leave that at home. Don't bring it to my house because I've always lived out of state. And when they would come to visit, you know, I love my parents to come visit, but, yeah, they knew I wasn't having it.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So just the thought of them having sex was enough for you to say you guys got to sleep in sex?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

The thought of my parents having sex was gross to me. That's awesome.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

It's always one.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

And, you know, when she separated them into two rooms and she went to bed, it was like a challenge for them, you know, they were up doing it anyway.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah, all you did is move them down to the kitchen table, so enjoy breakfast.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

He just made it more exciting for them.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I like how she started out, the whole call. They had a fetish.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

They like to have sex.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

That's not really a fetish, I don't think. I think that's called liking to have sex. The Burch Show.

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[Host (The Birch Show)]

So I want to know everything. Like if you've been in a near death experience, you are sure this is it and everything happens so fast. I want to know what was going through your head at the time, who you thought about. Did your life really flash in front of you when it was all over and you survived? Did it make your life better? Temporarily. And then everything gets back to normal? Was it worse afterwards? Here's Brandy. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

Good morning. First of all, I absolutely love you guys. I listen to you every morning.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Thank you.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

But I went into cardiac arrest when I was 22. I had walked into a bar and immediately passed out. No idea what was going on. So no, I didn't have the whole knowing it was going to happen. I was in the hospital for two weeks. Spent three days into a coma. And it does. It completely changes Your life forever, or

[Host (The Birch Show)]

is it just temporary and then you just go back to being Brandy?

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

It's been three years, and I still think about it all the time. I was told never to have kids, and I now have an 18 month old.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Congratulations.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

Thank you. And with having a child who actually does have special needs, he has downs, but, you know, that's something I worry about, you know, is that something that my husband can take care of?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Do you have a different appreciation for the day to day because this happened to you so quickly?

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Yes.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Yeah, it's.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

It's a. You're very glad to wake up every single morning.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Thank you for calling. Here's Megan. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Hi.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Hey.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Hi.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

Good morning. I love y'.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

All.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Thank you.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

So mine's almost the same as the last one, but a little bit different.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I.

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

When I was 17, I was swimming at film practice, and I had a seizure while I was swimming and pretty much drowned. My heart stopped because I was drowning. And it was at this time of year, too, so it was that I had an outdoor pool, so it was freezing. So also, after my teammates pulled me out of the water, I was kind of in a hypothermia stage. And it definitely does. It definitely does change everything, like, how you see everything. Like, I mean, I kind of don't remember all that much because it happened really fast, but I do remember waking up, like, in a hospital bed and almost not knowing, like, where I was or what was happening or. But I do remember seeing my dad and just, like, starting to, like, just bawl my eyes out because I was just so, like, happy to see someone that I knew and, like, just comforting feeling.

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

I don't even know.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

This is gonna sound morbid, but when you were having the seizure and, you know, going under the water, did you know what was happening when it was happening, or does your mind take you somewhere else?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Well, when I was having the seizure

[Caller (Seizure and drowning story)]

was a result of my heart stopping, I guess, because it did. And I, like, was drowning because, you know, like, when you pass out, you automatically start breathing again because since I was underwater, you can't breathe, obviously. So I was inhaling water. I don't really remember. Like, basically I remember swimming, and then I remember being on the pool deck freezing my butt off.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Gotcha. Okay. Thank you for calling. I think I'm looking for callers that had a sense that this was about to happen.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Like, you're like a plane crash.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Like a plane crash.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

You had 30 seconds, a minute, two minutes to process.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

What do you do? Do you try to make a phone call? Do you say prayers?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Do you, you know, what are you thinking? And right before impact, does you know, your life really flash before you?

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

I mean, that probably happened to. I mean, it happened to me and my family, but I think it probably come better if my dad told a story. Because when I was in sixth grade, we were coming back from my aunt, uncle's house after dinner, driving home is about midnight or whatever on Christmas Day, and we got into a really, really bad car wreck. But my dad was driving a horrible car wreck. Another car ran the stop sign our van wasn't supposed to make. Like, I still get emotional about it today because you think about it, but unless it's brought up, you don't think about it. Our van wasn't supposed to make it according to, like, car reports a long time ago because we did. We rolled. Our whole van rolled. The windows were shattered. Everything was a mess. Like, I mean, just the way we were positioning ourselves. You go back and you think about everything that went right in the situation. But when you're going through the car accident, you, like, you don't feel it. I mean, you're like, you're in just intense pain. And then you're like, oh, I'm fine. I mean, you just. I mean, you definitely have appreciation for life.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Just like you said, your dad saw the car coming.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

My dad's the one who saw it, so I'm sure he could speak better about, I mean, the near death experience, because, I mean, our van was literally supposed to not make it if we were in a rollover crash.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Hey, Thelma. Go ahead.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Hi.

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

Good morning.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Morning.

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

When I was 12, where I'm originally from, we had a war and literally the grenade fell two feet away from me. And the only thing that I could literally think about is I'm gonna get shattered to pieces because you really can't survive that. The only thing that helped me is I laid on the ground right next to it and the stuff from the grenade actually goes up instead of down. So that was the only thing that actually saved my life.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Do you have training about that before? I mean, do you have that knowledge beforehand or was that just your instinct to go down?

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

No, actually, it was just my first instinct. There's actually a lot more incidents that happened, but that was the only one that I actually remember. And honestly, it. It opened up my eyes better and I appreciate life a lot more now.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Where was this?

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

It was in Bosnia.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

Sarajevo.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Oh, really?

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Wow.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

So when you're laying there and everything's happening so quickly and you think you're about to die. What are your thoughts at that point? Are you just like, I gotta survive, I gotta survive, I gotta survive? Or does your mind go blank and shut down?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Really?

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

It kind of went blank because all I could hear is a noise in my ear and it was ringing really loud. And I heard people kind of screaming, led me to come on in, but I couldn't hear anything. Literally. I was just kind of stunned.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Excuse me. Were you able to get up right after it happened?

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

Well, not right after. I had to lay down for at least around 10 minutes until everything kind of calmed down for me to be able to get up, not to get hurt at all.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Because I've heard that people were actually, when they first moved after something like that, were surprised at their ability to move.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You're, like doing a little self check. Like you're almost.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Yeah, like you see that movies or whatever. But like people are lying there and they're not moving. And then when they actually stand up, they're like, okay, look, I'm standing up. So I really am. I really did just survive that.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

There's a. There was a video floating around the Internet for a while there of a guy that was carrying a camera while he was skydiving. And his shoot didn't open. So you got the entire adventure down with him. And this guy hits the ground, hits impact. It's in the middle of a field and the camera sort of just in and out. You hear silence. Then you see the camera get up. And you're seeing it from the camera's angle, not his angle.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Is it like on his head or something? On his helmet?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Must be on his helmet or something like that. There's silence and you can hear him patting himself and then just screaming overjoyed screams. I can't believe I live. But nothing like blood curdling. Like he was celebrating, like it was New Year's Eve.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Can you find that video?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You'd have to search for it, but I'm sure it's still there. I saw it online.

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

Wow.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Yeah, it's intense.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

It's awesome.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Good morning, Emily. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Good morning, everybody.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Good morning.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

My story also, like the one yesterday actually is from New York City, where I'm originally from. About 13 years ago, while going to work, like thousands of people in Manhattan taking a subway. I was at Lexington Avenue on one of the large escalators, probably There is about 200 people fit on it. And there was an accident on the platform where the subway is A woman had gotten stuck, a pregnant woman, in the doors and it dragged her. And in a panic, all 200 plus people on the escalator started rushing it. I was about. I was very close to the top and I remember hearing the screaming, turning around, seeing over 200 people rushing. And I had no time to think of my, you know, my life flashing before me. But I remember thinking, oh my God, I can't move. The people in front of me still hadn't gotten off the escalator. I was trampled on. When I came to at the platform, actually, the TV crews were there first. Reporters before ambulances. Ambulances and such. One woman stayed with me. I don't know who she is. She kept telling me over and over it was going to be okay, that help was on the way and that she was a nurse. Miraculously, even with footprints on my face, all over my body, I had white stockings on and I had footprints all over my legs. The only injuries I sustained were I had a lot of ligament tears because my legs were kind of in a very odd position, the way I had been thrown to the ground. But I had no broken bones, no crushed bones. But for me, a lot of people think that you miraculously all of a sudden have an appreciation for life. For me, I actually was quite depressed for, I'm going to say, five years. It's an odd feeling and hard to put into perspective what's happened to you. It's very hard to put in perspective. And you wind up, at least for me, it took five years for me to wake up and stop allowing people not to treat me a certain way. I didn't appreciate myself after that. It took me a long time, no doubt.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I think after something like that would happen to me. You never know until you're in it. But I imagine I would get this sense of, okay, I was saved here for some reason, and then I could see you sort of like searching for the rest of your life to find out what that reason why was I saved today? What am I supposed to do here? You know, the bird show.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Warning.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

The following ZipRecruiter radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F words when you're hiring.

[Caller or Co-host (Morning greeting)]

We at ZipRecruiter know you can feel frustrated, forlorn, even, like your efforts are futile. And you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people, only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine. Fortunately, ZipRecruiter figured out how to fix all that. And right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip with ZipRecruiter you can forget your frustrations because we find the right people for your roles and fast, which is our absolute favorite F word. In fact, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Fantastic.

[Caller or Co-host (Morning greeting)]

So whether you need to hire four, 40 or 400 people, get ready to meet first rate talent. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com Zip to try ZipRecruiter for free. Don't forget that ZipRecruiter.com Zip finally, that ZipRecruiter.com zip Finding great candidates to hire

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along. Which is why you should try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you. Its powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So while other companies might deliver a lot of hay, ZipRecruiter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the Haystack.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

See why 4 out of 5 employers who post a job on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. The smartest way to hire. And right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free. That's right. Free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip that's ZipRecruiter.com Zip

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

ZipRecruiter.com Zip Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along. Which is why you should try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, it finds them for you. Its powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So while other companies might deliver a lot of hay, ZipRecruiter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the Haystack.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

See why 4 out of 5 employers who post a job on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. ZipRecruiter the smartest way to hire and Right now you can try ZipRecruiter for free. That's right. [e-mail]. zip that. Ziprecruiter.com. zip. Ziprecruiter.com.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

zip.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

All right. If you really believe there's a celebrity that you see that could be your soulmate, the only thing that is getting in the way is you can't get around their security people because they just

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

won't let you get to them or their assistants. Don't write you back.

Now it got sad.

I told you this would be a sad topic.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Good morning, Amy. What celebrity do you really think is your soulmate? Prince.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

And I've bought this since I was, like, 11 years old, okay?

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Oh, really?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Prince is your soulmate?

[Caller (Personal story about war experience)]

Yes.

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

And I've seen him in concert like, a million times, and every time I feel like, you know, he's looking at me, he just has yet to pull me out of the audience.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

He just hasn't pulled you out yet? It'll happen.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Does he say things in interviews that you say, oh, he's me.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Oh, yes, exactly.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Have you ever thought about writing him or approaching him?

[Caller (Cardiac arrest story)]

I think when I was, like, 12, I probably wrote him a lot of letters, but not since then. But I still think it's.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I could tell you right now, an adult fan letter that goes to a celebrity that says, you are my soulmate instantly gets tagged.

[Howie Mandel]

Yes.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Especially if it's in those magazine letters that are glued onto the page.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

You want your name on a folder at the FBI in world headquarters, use

[Host (The Birch Show)]

the word soulmate in a fan ladder.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

If you want the Fed's attention, well, just do that.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You don't even have to send two. Just one.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Just one. One's enough.

When I was a little kid, I desperately wanted Michael Jackson to be my babysitter. Then this is when Thriller came out.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

No. And looking back, you know that's a bad idea, right?

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Interestingly enough, Michael Jackson really wanted to be her brother's babysitter.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Aw, dude. Trish, we're gonna put you on the voice disguiser. What celebrity are you a soulmate with? They just don't know it yet.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

Travis McCoy from gym class Heroes.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Travis from Gym Class Heroes?

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

Yes. Oh, my God.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Well, there's a reason why it just didn't work out with him and Katy Perry, right? Cause he's waiting for.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

For you. Thank you.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

Finally, someone said it.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

It's destiny.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

I've met him actually, like, three or four times at the shows and everything like that. It's just. We just have a connection. I just know it.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You've never met him, but you have this connection?

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

No, we have. I've met him three or four times.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Oh, you did? I thought you said you went to the show.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

No. Yeah, I met him at shows, at meet and greets. I've met him several times and it's just. Oh, man.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Have you ever told him that?

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

No, never. I don't wanna freak him out.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Well, let me ask you this. I think in most cases when we take these calls, it's gonna be from listeners that think that celebrities are their soulmates, but they can't get to the celebrity cuz they're unreachable. He's been in front of you three different times and it hasn't happened yet. So why do you continue to think he's your soulmate?

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

Well. Cause it's just. He's busy. He's a celebrity. I don't wanna press him. No, I just. I don't know. Like when I'm. When I met him. We don't have a lot of time.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

It's just.

[Caller (Soulmate with Travis McCoy)]

It's a rushing kind of thing. He has other people. But when the reason. I don't know. I just feel like we just would have this connection. And I've seen him in interviews and he just like. We just seem like we'd be so perfect.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

He's for you.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Okay.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

All right. Good morning, Tim, you're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Hey, how's it going?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Okay. How are you? Now, you know we're not just talking about somebody you're attracted to?

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Yeah, I see Reese Witherspoon all the time on tv and I just like, oh my God, I could totally be my soulmate.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Okay. Really?

What is it about her?

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Well, I mean, her smile, her eyes. I mean, you could just fall into a, you know, fantasy.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

You have fallen in love with Reese Witherspoon.

[Caller (Story about in-laws)]

Oh, man. Then Jake Gyllenhoo come along,

[Host (The Birch Show)]

ruin the whole damn thing for you.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

Awesome.

There's your promo, Lindell.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I love it. Jake Gyllenho came along.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

You know what we should do? If we ever have that Travis McCoy guy from gym Class Heroes in studio, we should bring her up here and see if it happens.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

But she can never admit because if they're truly soulmates.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Right.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

She would just have to be in studio sitting down.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

And we'll see if there's a connection.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

We'll let forces collide. Right there.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Absolutely.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Others were Alec, Alessandro Navalo, actor in Junebug.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

I'm not sure who, as a soulmate, it's Probably Alejandro. Can't you do it in that voice?

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Alejandro.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

There you go.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

It's been posted as Alessandro and Chandler Bing. Not Matthew Perry, his character.

[Caller (Personal story about parents)]

Oh, wow.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

That one I gotta take. Hey, Tara. Good morning.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Good morning.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

Hi.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

It's not Matthew Perry we're talking about.

[Omaha Steaks Announcer]

No.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

No, not at all. It's Chandler Bing.

[Caller or Co-host (Southern perspective)]

He doesn't exist.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Well. And that's what makes it so difficult. I guess I'll be searching forever for my soulmate.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

Why do you gotta complicate things there, Wendy?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

I know. It's like, it's not hard enough, right?

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

But.

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

No, he's just awesome. I want to find my. My perfect Chandler Bing someday. But I don't know.

[Caller or Co-host (Commentator)]

You realize that's crazy, right?

[Caller (Story about parents with fetish)]

Yeah, I guess so. But I'm wondering, maybe Matthew Perry is a bit like Chandler.

[Host (The Birch Show)]

I think this goes under the category of maybe. I should have put myself on the voice disguiser.

[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

The Birch Show Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along. Which is why you should try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip ZipRecruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them for you. Its powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So while other companies might deliver a lot of hay, ZipRecruiter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the Haystack.

[Caller or Co-host (Interjecting)]

See why 4 out of 5 employers who post a job on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. The smartest way to hire. And right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free. That's right. Free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip that's ZipRecruiter.com Zip ZipRecruiter.com Zip

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