Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, March 3 [Vault]

Original Air Date: March 3, 2026
Hosts and Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show features the team’s trademark mix of humor, relatability, and real-life drama. The main theme is “What are you nervous about going into the weekend?” with listeners calling in to share their anxieties and hopes, ranging from marriage proposals and first dates to confronting breakups and facing public speaking pressures. The cast offers advice, supportive camaraderie, and plenty of laughs. The episode also pivots to an in-depth segment about infidelity and whether or not to warn an unsuspecting bride-to-be, sparking debate among the hosts and listeners. The tone is authentic, supportive, a little irreverent, and always human.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Listener Call-Ins: Weekend Nerves

(Starts ~00:34)

A. Jack’s Secret Proposal

• Jack (voice disguised) reveals his plan to propose to his longtime girlfriend with no idea he’s planning it, amidst recent financial strains and a job loss.
• He describes the nerve-racking experience of asking her father for permission:

  “I brought the ring with me and I said, you know, I've got something I'm gonna give your daughter this weekend... and of course he said yes.” – Jack (02:22)

• Hosts reflect on the tradition of asking the bride’s father and its ongoing significance:

  “It’s so traditional ... archaic ... but there is a man-to-man conversation that has to happen there that sort of establishes your relationship ...” – Co-host (03:22)

• Hosts plan to check in with Jack after the weekend for a follow-up.

B. Brittany’s First Online Date

• Brittany recounts posting a personal ad on a dare, leading to a three-month online and telephone relationship. She’s facing her first in-person meeting:

  “Excited and nervous and scared and anxious, you know, all this stuff all at the same time.” – Brittany (05:02)

• She shares practical safety measures for meeting someone new and hopes for the best.

C. Donnie’s Solo Presentation Challenge

• Donnie, 19, is left to deliver an intimidating technical presentation to 150+ doctors alone after his father falls ill.
• The team reassures him that experts sometimes forget their own authority:

  “They are there to learn from you ... you actually are the power person in the room at the moment.” – Co-host (07:06)

• Donnie’s self-awareness shines:

  “As long as I don’t say nothing too stupid, we'll be all right.” – Donnie (07:20)

D. Tommy’s Breakup by Text

• Tommy endured a breakup via text after a decades-long friendship and a short relationship.
• He struggles between telling his ex how he feels or walking away with dignity:

  “I wanna be mad and tell her, but I think I might scare her off ... I'm trying to end it with some respect and dignity.” – Tommy (09:15)

• Hosts suggest an unexpected, gracious approach:

  “Thank her for letting you go to find someone you're supposed to be with. That’ll freak her out.” – Co-host (09:29)

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2. The Cheating Fiance: To Tell or Not to Tell?

(Starts ~10:27)

The Dilemma

• A listener discovers the man she’s been dating for a year has been engaged the entire time. He proposed, then slept with her, claiming his fiancée knows. The listener wants help informing the fiancée.
• Hosts stage a dramatic reenactment of the email and subsequent exchanges:

  “You are a liar and a cheat and you know it. You have no business getting married, you psychopath...” – Wendy, playing the email writer (13:04) “My neighbors across the street told her and I had to confess. I swear, I live on Wisteria Lane.” – Andy, as the cheating fiancé (14:15)

• The debate ensues: Is it ethical to inform the fiancée, or would it only cause embarrassment and pain, especially if she already knows?
• The wisdom of the crowd (listeners) weighs in—most think the fiancée has a right to know before the wedding:

  “If you’re going to cheat before you’re in a committed relationship, you’re going to cheat while you’re in it. It’s best that she know what she’s getting into.” – Caller (18:38) “That pain never goes away ... you guys have got to tell her. Do not let her ruin her life like that.” – Brittany/Listener (23:23)

• Plan: Use a private investigator off-air to help the listener inform the fiancée discretely.

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3. Disturbing Urban Legends: Purell & Regret

(Starts ~25:32)

• The host recounts overhearing a story about a college student who, after unprotected sex, attempts to “sanitize” herself internally with Purell hand sanitizer—resulting in burning and irritation.
• The team reacts with shock, laughter, and horror at the “urban legend” nature:

  “She put it in the location where she had relation ... she was experiencing some irritation.” – Host (26:57) “Now you know how [warning labels] are born.” – Co-host 3 (29:08)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Proposals and Parental Permission:

  "Any guy that doesn't ask your bride's father for asking for trouble ... he judges you on that.”
  – Co-host (03:06)

• On Online Dating Firsts:

  "Hopefully it won't be like when you guys were picking up the guy from the airport ... hopefully it won't be any of that."
  – Brittany (05:30)

• On Facing Public Speaking Anxiety:

  “You actually are the power person in the room at that moment.”
  – Co-host (07:06)

• On Breakups and Dignity:

  “Thank her for letting you go to find someone you're supposed to be with. That’ll freak her out.”
  – Co-host (09:29)

• On Infidelity and Telling the Truth:

  “If you’re screwing around when you’re engaged, I think you pretty much are thinking you’re going to be screwing around when you’re married.”
  – Co-host 3 (18:46)

• On Regrettable Attempts at Sex Ed:

  “She put [Purell] right there …”
  – Host (28:46)
  “Now you know how [warning labels] are born.”
  – Co-host 3 (29:08)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:34 – Weekend nerves call-in segment begins
• 01:18 – Jack’s financial struggles & secret proposal plans
• 03:22 – Hosts discuss traditions in marriage proposals
• 04:07 – Brittany’s first online date story
• 05:55 – Donnie’s solo technical presentation for doctors
• 08:08 – Tommy’s breakup via text and emotional turmoil
• 10:27 – Introduction to the cheating fiancé segment
• 12:29–15:13 – Dramatic reading of cheating email exchange
• 16:41–21:03 – Debate among hosts and listeners about telling the fiancée
• 25:32 – Story of Purell as (misguided) post-coital protection

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Tone & Atmosphere

Upbeat, authentic, supportive, and often irreverent. The hosts and callers create a safe space to share vulnerabilities, mixed with humor and real advice. Even tough or “gross” topics are handled with warmth and honest laughter.

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Summary Takeaways

• Listeners’ anxieties are universal: From romance to career to heartbreak, The Bert Show amplifies the common nerves we all experience, offering camaraderie and support.
• Ethics of honesty are debated: Is it better to reveal a painful truth, or is it not your place? This tension is explored thoughtfully.
• Humor is a healing force: Even the most awkward moments—or urban legends—are lightened by the group’s banter and collective wisdom.

This episode is a great example of The Bert Show’s blend of real-life stories, empathetic advice, and lively personality—a must-listen for anyone who enjoys authentic morning radio.

Transcript

[Host]

It's tax season and at Lifelock we know you're tired of numbers, but here's a big one. You need to billions. That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed. One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com specialoffer for the threats you can't control terms apply the Burt show the topic is what are you nervous about going into on the weekend?

[Co-host 1]

Okay.

[Host]

And we'll take your calls now and then you just gotta make the agreement. You'll come in and tell us if your nervousness was unfounded or if you really had reason to be scared. And we'll start out with the voice disguiser. Sean. Hey caller, just do me a favor and just say 1, 2, 3.

[Caller]

1, 2, 3.

[Host]

The voice disguiser is on and working. And what name should we refer to you as?

[Caller]

Jack.

[Co-host 1]

Jack.

[Host]

Why are you nervous?

[Caller]

This weekend I am proposing to my longtime girlfriend and she has absolutely no idea.

[Co-host 2]

That's awesome.

[Listener/Wendy]

Congratulations.

[Co-host 1]

That's exciting.

[Listener/Andy]

Thank you.

[Co-host 1]

And how long have you been planning the proposal?

[Caller]

About six weeks.

[Co-host 2]

Six weeks.

[Co-host 1]

And you said she has no idea?

[Caller]

No, I got laid off from my job not too long ago. So we've been having some. Some financial trouble. So she doesn't think it's even possible to get a hold of a ring at this point.

[Co-host 1]

Okay, but you've been planning for long enough that you've already got the ring?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Host]

And do you have an elaborate proposal planned or is it just gonna be a romantic dinner out?

[Caller]

Well, we're going out on vacation this weekend and I'm gonna taking her down to her favorite beach and get a proposed her out on the beach.

[Co-host 2]

Fantastic.

[Host]

That's awesome.

[Co-host 2]

Congratulations.

[Co-host 1]

That is really exciting.

[Caller]

But I'm really, really. Nobody nobody knows. I mean my parents know because I talked about cashing in some. Some saving stuff.

[Co-host 1]

But do her. Do her parents know?

[Caller]

No. Well, her father does. I talked to her. Yeah, I talked to him yesterday. But other than them, I mean none of our friends, nobody knows.

[Co-host 2]

Good man for asking the dad.

[Co-host 1]

That is great. I love it that you were just ready to burst with the secret. So you called us and we're on the voices Kaiser.

[Co-host 3]

I love that.

[Caller]

I'm really. I'm not nervous about what she'll say. I'm just nervous about the whole. The whole thing.

[Host]

How did you ask her father, how did that go?

[Caller]

I brought the ring with me and I said, you know, I've got something I'm gonna give your daughter this weekend. And I thought. Asked him if he thought he liked it. And when he said, yeah, I'm like, so, you know, is this okay with you? And of course he said, yes. We've been together for quite a while, so I think they've been expecting it.

[Host]

Were you nervous talking to her dad or were you cool?

[Caller]

Yeah, he's a pretty intimidating guy because

[Host]

Jessica's dad was the nicest guy in the world. You know, he's always so nice and everything.

[Caller]

He was nice. Like when I asked him, he was really nice. But I was nervous going into it, obviously, but, well, that's what happened to me.

[Host]

I actually called. I called Jessica's dad and ended up hanging up on him. The first time, like, he answered, he says, hello, and I went, click. Yeah, I pranked him and I'm like, crap. Cause he was in Arizona and I was in Atlanta, so I couldn't do it in person. So I called back and I'm like,

[Co-host 2]

well, but both of those father in laws have a great deal more respect for you for doing it, right? Absolutely. Sorry, guys, but any guy that doesn't ask your bride's father for asking for trouble. Yeah, I think that he judges you on that.

[Co-host 1]

It's so traditional to do so. It seems so archaic to do so, but there is like a man to man conversation that has to happen there that I think sort of establishes your relationship from there forward with her dad, Right?

[Co-host 2]

Agreed.

[Host]

Hey, Jack, I want to put you on hold, and then Monday, we want to check in and see and see how this all went, how you can tell us the details of the proposal and how she responded.

[Caller]

All right, for sure, guys.

[Host]

All right, cool. Hold on. Okay.

[Listener/Lee]

Okay.

[Co-host 3]

Good luck.

[Co-host 2]

Good luck. Have fun.

[Co-host 1]

That's exciting.

[Host]

That'll be a cool one.

[Co-host 2]

He gave a little bit of detail, so if anything. Yeah, don't say anything.

[Host]

Brittany here does not have to be on the voice disguiser. Hi, Brittany.

[Listener/Lee]

Hey.

[Caller Brittany]

How's it going?

[Host]

We're well. How are you?

[Caller Brittany]

I'm doing great.

[Host]

What's going on this weekend that you're nervous about?

[Caller Brittany]

I put a personal ad online as a dare with some people that I worked with just because I'd always told myself that I wouldn't do it. I don't see anything wrong with it, but I've just always been. I would never do that in a million years just because that, to me, is kind of scary. But I put the ad up as a dare. It's been up for, like, three or four months. And there's been this one guy that I've been. We've been talking consecutively for about three months online and over the phone, and we're going to meet tomorrow face to face for the very first time.

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Co-host 1]

So you got to see if there's some real physical chemistry there.

[Caller Brittany]

Right. And so what's gonna happen is we haven't really set in stone where we're gonna meet yet, but I've already got a couple people lined up to hey, if you guys aren't busy, kind of be in this area tomorrow. I can text without having to look at my phone. So, you know, that kind of thing is not really an issue, but it's gonna be, like, you know, middle of the day. It's like a lunch date kind of thing. So not a whole lot of pressure.

[Co-host 2]

Smart.

[Caller Brittany]

But I'm excited and nervous and scared and anxious, you know, and all the. All this stuff all at the same time. But so far, so good. I'm really excited about it. I really hope it goes well.

[Host]

Me too. So when you meet up with him, you already have a picture of him, and, you know, photo wise, he's pretty attractive.

[Caller Brittany]

I'm sorry.

[Host]

You know, at least from the photos that he's attractive enough to you.

[Listener/Lee]

Yes.

[Host]

So this is the true reveal. There's no hiding. You can't Photoshop real life.

[Caller]

Correct.

[Host]

All right.

[Caller Brittany]

And hopefully it won't be like it was, you know, when you guys were picking up the guy from the airport the other day where he sent someone else in the beginning to throw me off. You know, hopefully it won't be any of that.

[Caller Donnie]

So. So.

[Host]

All right, hold on the line. We want to get your information, and we'll check in with you, okay?

[Caller Brittany]

Absolutely.

[Co-host 2]

All right, good luck.

[Host]

All right, cool. Hold on. That's caller number two, and then number three for why we want to check in with you on Monday. Hey, Donnie, how you doing?

[Co-host 3]

Good.

[Host]

You're nervous this weekend.

[Caller Donnie]

Oh, man. I'm 19 years old, and I work in the medical industry with my father. We install and repair X ray machines all over the state of Georgia. And this weekend, I have to be at Southern Polytech by myself because my father's sick, and I have to talk to 100 doctors and teach them how to use their X ray machine and digital X ray.

[Co-host 2]

Flying solo this weekend, that's a lot of pressure.

[Caller Donnie]

Center stage in front of 150 or more doctors.

[Co-host 2]

That's great. Now, I'm. Obviously your father has a lot of faith in you to be able to do it, so you're capable.

[Caller Donnie]

I'm capable. I know enough about it. It's just, you know, the part about being center stage is kind of

[Host]

intimidating people.

[Co-host 1]

Have you ever spoken in front of people before?

[Caller Donnie]

Yeah, I just graduated high school, so. Speak in front of class all the time. But, you know, they're not as qualified as doctors, and most of our doctors are actually the Crawford Long Hospital down in Atlanta.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller Donnie]

Yeah, they'll all be there. Northside Hospital, they'll all be there. So it's kind of. It's kind of intimidating just how all the high powered people are.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

But, you know, the thing is, they are there to learn from you. So what? You know, they don't. So even though it sounds intimidating and they've got medical degrees and they're, you know, these power people, they still don't know what you know. So you're actually the power person in the room at the moment.

[Caller Donnie]

As long as I don't say nothing too stupid, we'll be all right.

[Co-host 2]

Well, they won't know. They won't know because they don't know anything about the equipment.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, you're the expert.

[Caller Donnie]

I guess I'm more excited about teaching doctors something that I know they don't know.

[Co-host 2]

Exactly. No, congratulations. I think that's great.

[Host]

Listen, if Sarah Palin and Joe Biden can get through a 90 minute debate without either of them jacking something up, that's funny.

[Caller Donnie]

I guess that's true.

[Host]

All right, so just. See. Hold on, hold on to that thought going into it. Okay. All right, all right, hold on. All right, we'll get your information.

[Co-host 1]

Just in case anybody asks, think of one newspaper you've read.

[Listener/Andy]

Yeah.

[Host]

Hey, we're going to take one more. Can we put this one on the voice disguiser, please, Sean? And we're going to talk to a guy who wants to call himself Tommy. Hey, Tom. Hey, Tommy.

[Caller]

Hey, man.

[Host]

Why are you nervous going into this weekend?

[Caller]

Well, what happened was over on a few days ago, my girlfriend broke it with me via text message.

[Host]

Oh, okay.

[Co-host 2]

All right.

[Caller]

It hurt me. I was like, you know, that's just not cool. So I want to tell her how I feel and kind of tell her off, so to speak. Because when you break with somebody, that's not what you do. Break with a text message.

[Host]

What exactly did the text message say?

[Caller]

It says, you're a beautiful person. You're a nice guy, wonderful inside and out. But I'm not romantically Connected with you.

[Co-host 1]

Ouch. And how long have you guys been together?

[Caller]

It's been a few weeks, but we know each other five years.

[Co-host 2]

So you've only dated for a few weeks, but you've known each other for five years?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Host]

Okay, so that's like a. That thing comes in because, you know, text messages, you only got 100 and whatever characters, so that thing comes in as a multiple. So you read the first half of it, and you're like, I don't like where this is going. And then you scroll to the next one. You're like, oh, that's the word.

[Co-host 1]

Where she goes, but, yeah, scroll to the next text. What? What?

[Caller]

But what?

[Host]

And then it doesn't come in for five minutes.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Host]

So what are you nervous about over the weekend?

[Caller]

Like, I want to tell her how I feel about it. Know how to do it, though, you know, it's like, I wanna be mad and tell her, but I think I might scare her off and piss her off. I'm not gonna do that. I'm trying to end it with some respect and dignity.

[Host]

So you're gonna.

[Co-host 1]

What I think you should do is thank her. I think you should just call and thank her for letting me go. Find somebody you're supposed to be with.

[Caller]

Huh. That's a good way of doing it.

[Co-host 1]

That will really freak her out. Cause what she's really expecting is for you to yell and scream and whatever,

[Host]

or to grovel or to beg.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, it made us go quiet in the studio. Wow.

[Host]

I was gonna say, you didn't think we were gonna get all deep on you. We're just driving stick shifts up in here.

[Caller]

Yeah, you know, I'm gonna try that out for size. You know what guys you buy is gonna great help. That's cool, man.

[Host]

Will you try. Seriously try that?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, do that one.

[Host]

And you can still tell her off next weekend if you want to, but let's just throw that out there and see how it fits this weekend and see what happens.

[Co-host 1]

Let's see what she says.

[Caller]

All right. Hell, yeah, I'm gonna do that.

[Host]

The Birch Show.

[Co-host 3]

All right, so the email reads like this. And this is a tight one here. We're not exactly sure what to do with this, so we're looking for your input. I mean, it really does come down to a very simple question, like, if you're the one that knows that the dude is screwing around on another woman, do you try to find and tell the woman, or do you just let it ride? That's really the question here. Here's how the email goes. Found out on Sunday. This guy that I've had an on and off relationship with for the past year has been in a relationship the whole time and he just got engaged. Apparently he got engaged a little over a week ago, but on Sunday, 9 21, he invited me over to watch some football and hang out. We ended up sleeping together and I stayed the night. So unbeknownst to me, he'd proposed marriage to a girl I don't even know existed and then slept with me. I found out this past Sunday when he again invited me over for dinner and to watch football. He changed his Facebook status last week to Engaged, but I thought it was a joke. When I asked him about it, he basically didn't answer and avoided the question. But when I asked. But when I walked into his kitchen on Sunday, there was a congratulations on your engagement card on his counter. And I read it and then asked him and he confirmed that yes, he's engaged. I have no idea who this girl is. I think the name of the card said blank. But she needs to know what is going on. I need the Birch Show's help to reach out to this girl or maybe her friends and tell her what a sleazy is. I want her to know all the facts because I'm certain he's lying to her. He told me that she knows about you, that one of his neighbors told her so he had to confess. I don't believe it for a second that she knows or even knows what really happened. Can you guys help me? There was an exchange between the two of them that may make it more clear to you on how deep this thing is before we get into debating. Okay. On if we should do this or not. So this is the exchange between our listener that wants to call this dude out and the dude himself over the last couple of days. And it's being played by Wendy is playing the part of our listener and mean judge Andy is the lion cheating bastard.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Listener/Wendy]

AOL.com you are a monster and a coward.

[Listener/Andy]

Not avoiding you hellacious problems today. Since Wachovia went under over the weekend, my day has been on the phone avoiding all of my emails and everyone is scared and running for the hills. Not avoiding you, just was leaving you alone. You saw I was engaged and I didn't hide it from you. Although I underestimated how much of it you got. And I told you a friendship was what we needed. My concern for you after you broke up was sincere and backed by my actions afterwards.

[Listener/Wendy]

You are a liar. You should have told me you were dating someone last Sunday when I came over. You should have told me you proposed marriage to someone only days earlier. And all summer you sent me suggestive emails. You were in a relationship. Even last May, only days after the last time we slept together. You changed your status to in a relationship. And I asked you about it in an email and you lied, saying you did it to avoid spam email or some such. You're a liar and a cheat and you know it. You have no business getting married, you psychopath, and you know it. Okay, of course you don't have the dignity to respond. You broke my heart.

[Listener/Andy]

I'm sorry you took it that way. I told you what it was. I admit the mistake of taking it beyond that and felt like we reckoned beyond that. But I guess I was wrong. If I misled you, then I'm sorry. That was not intended.

[Listener/Wendy]

You are so full of. Are you gonna tell your fiance that you slept with me once, you were in a committed relationship, and once again, only days after you ask her to spend the rest of your life with you?

[Listener/Andy]

She knows about you. She's not happy at all with me, not anywhere close.

[Listener/Wendy]

Oh, sure she does. Like all of a sudden you tell the truth. Please. You haven't been honest with me, I don't think, since the moment I met you. And God, do I regret that day.

[Listener/Andy]

My neighbors across the street told her and I had to confess. Can't spend all that time at my house watching a game and my desperate housewife of a neighbor not make a few calls. I swear, I live on Wisteria Lane.

[Listener/Wendy]

Oh, so you got caught. Makes more sense. Because no way are you man enough to confess on your own. So she only knows about last week, not the time in May when you romance me in your hammock. She needs to find out about that too. And I can't believe it, but it sounds like you feel sorry for yourself or blame your neighbors. Unless believable.

[Listener/Andy]

Not sorry for myself. Look, don't be surprised if you see a for sale sign in front of my house. And in today's market, I'll be taking a bath. Feeling sorry for myself is the last of my problems right now. Dead last.

[Listener/Wendy]

But it's still all about you, isn't it? Selfish bastard. I would tell you that I've been catatonic and crying on my couch since I left your house yesterday, but I know you don't have the emotional reach to care about anyone or anything that doesn't have to do directly with you.

[Co-host 1]

Hate you.

[Co-host 3]

So it's A love story.

[Co-host 1]

That was a great reenactment.

[Listener/Wendy]

I didn't profit you.

[Host]

And I feel like I gotta go give Wendy a hug or something.

[Co-host 1]

I love Andy's deadpan delivery. Love that.

[Co-host 3]

Now the debate begins. Like, do we want to be the middle person here because she doesn't know anybody in between. Do we want to take on that role here? I mean, I guess we've done it before with, like, War of the Roses. Never real comfortable with that. Sure, it was a ratings winner, but this just feels so dirty.

[Co-host 1]

Do we.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, are we believing that she knows? Because if the. If the fiance already knows, then what's the point?

[Co-host 3]

I don't believe.

[Listener/Wendy]

I don't think she knows. Definitely doesn't know.

[Co-host 1]

There is a possibility that she does, and that would be embarrassing for her if she's decided to stay with her fiance or even if she's decided that. I'm sorry. Even if she doesn't know and we're the ones that call and break it to her, I just think it's gonna be really embarrassing for the other girl. Like, I don't care about him at all, but for the other woman. You know, a lot of women stay through a lot of things, and so she may say. She may know already about the hammock and everything else.

[Co-host 3]

Here's the thing about it that. That's bothering me so much. It's the timing of it. Like, he's. They're engaged now, and I think if you screw around before you get into the marriage, and chances are pretty good you're gonna screw around once you get in. He's engaged, and he's screwing around. So there's an opportunity here to let her know what he's really like before they ever walk down the aisle together.

[Co-host 2]

You know, on the off chance she doesn't know.

[Co-host 3]

On the off chance she doesn't know. Whereas if you're already married or if

[Co-host 1]

she doesn't, break her out of it.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, I don't know if you're married if my answer would be the same. I don't know.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, I've always said that I'd rather. I want somebody to tell me. You know, Like, I. I've always said I'd have a lot more respect for the person that told me, because I know a lot of people say, I don't want to get involved. I don't want to get in the middle of it. It's none of my business. Well, I understand where you're coming from, but as the person being cheated on, somebody tell me don't let me be a fool. Sitting here marrying this man that I don't know is cheating on me after I was all romanticized in all this engagement. I have his ring on everything. And he slept with another woman after I got engaged. So I've always been like, somebody tell him.

[Co-host 3]

Do we want to be that person?

[Listener/Wendy]

Well, who else is gonna tell her? Well, she's the only one that sort of knows is the other woman. Because all he said was supposedly the neighbors that told him told her.

[Co-host 1]

Jeff, what do you think?

[Co-host 3]

Sounded like he had something to say.

[Host]

Well, I say go for it. Like I was gonna say. You said, who else is gonna tell him? Like, she. The problem is she doesn't have a way to find this woman.

[Co-host 3]

Good morning. Q100.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Caller Brittany]

I just think that you guys should go ahead and tell her about it because I think the.

[Listener/Lee]

I guess the woman that he's been

[Caller Brittany]

sleeping with, that's not his fiance, she probably doesn't want to tell her because she probably doesn't think the other woman will believe her. That's how I would look at it.

[Co-host 3]

The original constructor writer of the email is on hold. I'm just afraid to put her on because I'm afraid she's gonna start screaming

[Host]

as first lose her mind.

[Co-host 3]

Good morning, stacia, you're on Q100.

[Listener/Lee]

Good morning.

[Co-host 3]

Good morning.

[Caller Brittany]

I wanted to make a comment about

[Listener/Lee]

that because I've had that situation happen to me, and so I know how that girl feels.

[Caller Brittany]

I mean, I think that if you're going to cheat before you're in a

[Listener/Lee]

committed relationship, you're going to cheat while you're in the committed relationship. And it's best that she know what she's getting into.

[Co-host 3]

That really does play, like, a big part in this for me. Like, we could stop. I guess my theory is that if you're screwing around when you're engaged, I think you pretty much are thinking that you're going to be screwing around when you're married. And she should at least know what she's getting into before she walks down the aisle and spends the rest of her life with this guy.

[Co-host 2]

Well, she's not going to spend the rest for her life with this guy.

[Host]

Well, in the next couple years.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Co-host 3]

So where are we with it?

[Host]

Tell her.

[Listener/Wendy]

I want to tell her yet.

[Co-host 1]

I'll call her.

[Host]

It's Mistress Lost and Found.

[Co-host 2]

I mean, I see what Jen's saying, though, about we don't want to embarrass her because she, you know, it's very. He's the one that's the bad guy, not the fiance and not our listener. He's the bad guy. So I think that the way we do it is important too, because. Yeah, I don't think you don't want

[Co-host 1]

to embarrass her because say she does know. I mean, he said the neighbors told. Well, that. I don't really buy that or whatever, but on the 1% chance that that is true, that the neighbor told, but she's like, you know what? I'm just gonna get past this and get over it. My family's excited, I'm excited. Everybody knows we're engaged now. I can't turn around now or whatever. On the off chance that she knows and then we call and embarrass her further. I mean, we'll use the voice disguiser and fake names and all that stuff, right?

[Host]

Yeah. Well, I don't even think we put her voice on the air. We talked her off the air. Give her a heads up what's going on. Then she has the option to come on the. With. What are we calling her? Lee, who is the mistress? The unknown, the unwilling mistress. Right. And if she doesn't want to do that, then we connect the two of them off the air with the promise that Lee just gives us an update.

[Co-host 3]

I'll put Lee on here in just a second on the voice disguiser, Jeff, but will you have a conversation with her quickly off the air and let her know that we don't want any details? And we're gonna play fair for right now until we figure out what we're gonna do.

[Host]

You go.

[Co-host 3]

I trust you.

[Host]

Hey, baby.

[Co-host 3]

If this was a one time thing and not a year long relationship, would it change your attitude about it?

[Co-host 1]

No, I don't think so.

[Co-host 3]

No.

[Co-host 2]

Especially if it was after he proposed to her.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, that's what makes it bad.

[Co-host 3]

Here is the writer of the email and we're gonna have to be really careful with her. Hey, Lee, do you understand the circumstance we're in here? We don't want to embarrass.

[Listener/Lee]

No, absolutely. And that's not. That's. That's totally not my point at all. I understand that it's a sensitive subject and if I had a way to contact her, I would have done so. I would have figured out a. But I feel like she's got to know what she's getting into. And I don't think that he's being truthful with her at all. And I just want her to have all the facts in front of her. She can make her own Decisions. But I just want her to know what she's getting into. And I just don't feel like she's going to get that information from him. He's not going to tell that he's not telling the truth. He hasn't told the truth to me in a year.

[Co-host 3]

So let me ask you this. So if we found out who she was off the air, like, let's say we use our Blue Dog investigators, who has kicked ass for us. Yeah, we found out off the air and provided you with the information, you could make the call and then you could come back and you could tell us the results of it.

[Listener/Lee]

You're saying. Absolutely. I don't want to. That's, you know, I agree with Jen. I, you know, I understand that it is a sensitive subject, and I don't want to call her out and embarrass her. I just didn't know of any other way to try to get in touch with her. She's not on his Facebook page. There are no pictures of her. I mean, literally the only thing that's changed on his Facebook page is his status.

[Co-host 3]

And you are. And you are strong in your feeling that she needs to know before they get married?

[Listener/Lee]

I think so. I mean, I would want to know. I would want to know.

[Co-host 1]

I think that's definitely a good plan for us to get you in touch with her. And I was going to ask you at what, you know, what lengths did you go to try to find out who she is? Because in your email, you said you had a potential first name. We don't want you to use it right now. But you had a potential first name, right?

[Listener/Lee]

I only saw that in the card that Sunday when I went over there. And that's the first mention of that name. I mean, I didn't even know she existed until that day. And I emailed him and kind of asked him because I thought it was a joke. And so I emailed and said, hey, congratulations,

[Co-host 3]

Lee. Hold on one sec.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Good morning, Q100. Hey, Sarah.

[Caller Brittany]

I think I definitely need to tell her it happened to me. Everybody at my wedding knew it happened. She wanted to ruin my fantasy, as they said. Two kids later, 32 years old, and I'm still going through hell. You guys have got to tell her. Do not let her ruin her life like that.

[Co-host 3]

That pain never goes away, huh?

[Caller Brittany]

No, it never goes away at all. Especially when you bring children into the mix and you look back and I could have had. I could have done. I could have had a different life. And you didn't. And people knew. And nobody wanted to be the one to break the news or. But true friends or anyone that cares, someone needs to tell.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. The timing of this, you know, before you have a chance here maybe to save these two lives, I agree with you on that. The timing of it changes everything for me. Hey, Ronnie, you're on Q100.

[Listener/Lee]

Yeah.

[Caller Brittany]

I just want to say I think you guys should tell her. And don't think about it as being

[Caller Donnie]

positive or negative for either side of them.

[Caller Brittany]

And think of it as that you're

[Caller Donnie]

going to help divorce statistics in America.

[Co-host 3]

All right. Lee is back. So do we all feel the same way about this? That we can do what we can. We'll give this over to Tracy at Blue Dog and she can do the investigation for us. And then we'll turn this on over to you, Lee. And then once we get the name, and then you can do with it what you want. And then you can tell us what happened off the air.

[Listener/Lee]

I'm happy with that. Absolutely.

[Co-host 1]

I think that's good. I think that saves her from any embarrassment. Her family, you don't know if, you know, he's from here, she's from here. There, you know, respect. Extend family listening.

[Listener/Lee]

I feel like he's living, like, two lives. I mean, I just, you know, every time I would come over there, I mean, you never would know that there was a girlfriend in his life. I don't know if he was taking down pictures or she really just wasn't over there much. But I just feel like he's doing a whole lot of lying. And I actually emailed him yesterday and just to see if, you know, he was still engaged. And he said that it was still up in the air, basically. I mean, I don't believe him.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, you can't believe a thing he says.

[Listener/Lee]

I can't believe anything he says. That night that we slept together Told me that he loved me twice during.

[Co-host 1]

Whoa.

[Co-host 3]

All right, let's do this.

[Co-host 1]

I just wonder what the fiance does on Sunday nights. She must be busy.

[Co-host 3]

Busy, busy, busy.

[Co-host 1]

Because that's the nights that he was inviting her over.

[Co-host 3]

Is that it? Sunday nights?

[Listener/Lee]

That was your two Sundays in a row. It's weird. It's so bizarre.

[Co-host 2]

Two Sundays in a row.

[Co-host 3]

Two Sundays in a row.

[Listener/Andy]

Bizarre.

[Co-host 3]

That sounds reasonable. All the way around.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

New Dog will take care of this.

[Host]

The Birch Show. So this story is gonna be gross, but I wanna tell it anyways.

[Co-host 1]

Okay.

[Co-host 2]

Thanks for the warning.

[Host]

I'm just warning you.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Host]

And it's a conversation that I overheard, and I Don't. I mean, maybe. Maybe a doctor. Maybe we could talk to the gynecologist from Piper's boyfriend's dad, you know, and he can. He can confirm whether or not this would work or just relieve it or not.

[Co-host 1]

Okay, now you've said gross and gynecologist.

[Host]

I know.

[Listener/Wendy]

I'm nervous.

[Host]

I overheard a conversation between a couple of girls. One who had hooked up the night before and had some regret about her decision and thought she had a great solution. But she was feeling a little uncomfortable that day, which is what was being spoken about. Apparently she had gone out and had a great time and hooked up and brought a guy home and they had relationships. After 8:30, they had sex relations and they didn't use any protection for the relations.

[Co-host 2]

They're from Louisiana.

[Host]

Yes, but it's.

[Co-host 2]

I'm following.

[Host]

But she thinks everything's gonna be okay because she went into the bathroom and got some. Immediately after the incident and got some Purell hand sanitizer.

[Listener/Wendy]

I'm in pain.

[Co-host 1]

What did she do with it?

[Host]

No, no, she put it in the location where she had relation, like inside. And so I had heard this conversation 24 hours later, and she was experiencing some irritation.

[Co-host 1]

You think?

[Co-host 3]

You think? Yep.

[Host]

It felt a little hot.

[Co-host 1]

Okay, I'm sorry, but how old is this woman?

[Co-host 3]

She was.

[Host]

They were definitely college age.

[Caller]

Oh, Lord.

[Listener/Wendy]

What'd you think that was gonna solve?

[Co-host 3]

So she thought that any kind. It would. It would fight bacteria or any kind.

[Host]

Well, it kills 99%.

[Co-host 1]

Was she actually admitted into a college and would they ever admit that they

[Listener/Andy]

accepted her into this school?

[Co-host 1]

Well, yeah, she.

[Co-host 3]

I mean, this sounds like a snopesy urban legend.

[Host]

She was talking. The conversation that I overheard was her asking her friend about the burning.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, no.

[Co-host 3]

Lord.

[Host]

Because I don't know if you. Cause I mean.

[Co-host 1]

Ow, ow, ow.

[Host]

Melissa. You could probably, but I.

[Co-host 2]

What

[Co-host 3]

about Melissa?

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, no, but I. Vagina expert. Why don't you go ahead and ask me?

[Host]

Not about that, but I'm just saying, like, when I used to work at Turner Field and there was a lot of, like, handshake and high fiving and everything, like, I would buy that stuff at Costco and after every interaction or whatever, squirt it on. Because if not, I mean, there's 50,000 people, there's a lot of skankiness, there's a lot of germs. So I would put that. But what I would notice is even a week or two into the season, my hands would get dry and there's nothing. Even if you try the ones with the lotion. Like there's some that have built in. Lotion doesn't help a ton. So I'm guessing that what kills the germs is alcohol, which also is probably a drying agents.

[Co-host 3]

Yep.

[Host]

And she put it right there.

[Co-host 3]

Hey, Heather, you're on Q100. Hi.

[Listener/Lee]

Good morning, guys.

[Caller Brittany]

I'm driving down the road laughing hysterically at this because this is so funny. You know, you read the labels on everything and it tells you like douches tell you it's not going to do anything for you. It's not going to sanitize anything. Those things are swimming. Hello.

[Co-host 3]

It's funny because you look at some of those warning labels and you think, how could anybody be so stupid as to try something like that? And now you know how they're born.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, you know, the warning labels.

[Listener/Andy]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

And if she has some kind of irritation and then it gets documented or whatever, I'm sure. Can you imagine now that's getting Purell from the future as a warning. Please do not insert this into your hoo hoo.

[Host]

Not for you, Senior. Yeah, the bird show.