The Bert Show [Vault]: Full Show PT 1 — Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Overview

This episode of The Bert Show offers classic morning show entertainment: light-hearted group banter, real-life anecdotes, audience call-ins, and a glimpse into the hosts' own lives. The main segments focus on relationship milestones (especially failed "move-ins"), a cultural breakdown of the TV show Lost with a Vanderbilt professor, and the warm introduction of a new team member, Hoss, to the Atlanta audience. True to The Bert Show's signature style, the hosts blend humor, candor, and listener participation to make everyday situations amusing and relatable.

Key Segments & Insights

1. Disastrous Move-Ins: When Living Together Quickly Goes Wrong

[01:33–14:26]

Hosts’ Initial Discussion

• Bert shares a story about a friend’s anxiety after moving in with her boyfriend, sparking conversation about “move-in panic” and the shortest cohabitations.
• Evangeline reflects on her wife Stacy's decisive approach: recounted how Stacy moved all Evangeline’s stuff in while she was away, pushing the relationship forward when Evangeline hesitated (“…Stacy pulls out with her, like a truck, and she and Carrie take all of my stuff… That’s how we started moving.” – Evangeline, [04:27]).

Listener Call-Ins: Record-Breaking Quick Breakups

• Caller 1 (Nicole): Moved out after just two days—caught her boyfriend "prancing around in my underwear" ([08:04]); the awkwardness and shock made her immediately reverse the decision.

  “He was in the bathroom in my underwear.” – Nicole, [08:23]

• Caller 2 (Bobby): Lasted only two and a half hours—walked in to find another man moving in; girlfriend had double-booked the move! Bobby promptly moved right back out.

  “She asked both of us to move in and didn’t know we’d both say yes.” – Bobby, [10:18]

• Caller 3 (Keisha): Barely moved a piece of furniture before an argument erupted at the U-Haul truck, so she packed up and left.

  “I just brought my stuff back out, packed up the U-Haul, closed the U-Haul and drove off.” – Keisha, [11:55]

• Host Takeaway: Sometimes moving in exposes incompatibilities immediately; some couples later adapt by finding a "neutral" mutual place.

Notable Quote:

“You have to find somebody as big a lame ass as I am…You can’t just move someone else’s stuff when they’re away.” – Evangeline, [06:32]

2. TV as Textbook: Professor Sloop's Vanderbilt Course on "Lost"

[14:26–22:45]

Professor Sloop Interview (Vanderbilt University)

• Premise: Uses Lost as a central case study in a first-year seminar on cultural studies.
• Why Lost?:
  • "Great literature gets us to ask questions about life... Lost does that better than anything." – Professor Sloop, [16:33]
  • Students analyze themes like masculinity, femininity, and cultural representations through show episodes.
  • The show is not simply "watched and discussed"; students write rigorous papers and engage with complex theoretical materials.
• Pop Culture as Pedagogy:
  • Defends value: “It’s short-sighted to say these are moronic courses because of the topic...It’s how we deal with them that matters.” ([19:50])
  • Cites Steve Johnson’s Everything Bad is Good for You: today's TV is complex and demands active decoding from viewers.
• Reception and Demand: Course capped at 15, always oversubscribed.
• Fun Anecdote: Course was labeled “#1 Moronic College Course” by a viral list ([19:46]), but the professor clarifies real academic rigor behind it.

Notable Quotes:

"I’ve never met a student looking at message boards about Moby Dick or Ulysses, but about Lost, they’re doing it." – Prof. Sloop, [17:17]
“They’re having a good time...but I’m convinced they’re all tired of people saying: ‘All you must do is watch TV!’” – Prof. Sloop, [22:05]

3. Meet Hoss: Introducing the New Bert Show Cast Member

[22:45–40:15]

Warm Welcome & Teasing Initiation

• Background:
  • Hoss recently relocated from North Carolina (Charlotte/Raleigh), is 24, and has started at the show after stints on other regional radio stations.
  • He admits he hasn't explored Atlanta yet, still adjusting and getting lost frequently.
• Group Hazing Lite:
  • The team pokes fun at his Southern-ness, his "mama's boy" reputation (mom provided color-coded, laminated move-in checklists), and inexperience with Atlanta’s scene.
  • Melissa: “But you’re 24! You should be able to figure this stuff out yourself.” – [30:35]
• Personal Q&A:
  • Hoss has a younger brother, recently broke up with a girlfriend, is a "guy's guy" who enjoys bars, sporting events, and hates snakes (“They made me do a snake bit and I ended up crying.” – Hoss, [35:01]).
  • Listeners call in, immediately picking up on Hoss's resemblance to Bill Clinton by voice (“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” – Hoss, [28:20]).
• Atlanta Assignment:
  • Hosts challenge Hoss to get out and make new friends via a MySpace-driven campaign: create a page, document his explorations, and find an Atlanta crew (and maybe a date).
  • “You should be prepared to go out on a date tomorrow night with somebody that has become your friend on MySpace." – Evangeline, [38:45]
• Classic Bert Show Banter:
  • Discussion of Atlanta’s venues (Peachtree Tavern, Moondogs, Claremont Lounge).
  • Group photos and “MySpace slide shows” proposed; Hoss’s first Atlanta strip club visit is tradition!

Memorable Moments:

“When she leaves, you have the bed all to yourself again. No more spooning for us!” – Dylan, [36:08]
“Let me show you. They put me up in a motor lodge, you want to come down?” – Dylan (teasing Hoss), [29:02]
“He looks like a combination of Britney's Manny and Nick Lachey…” – Bert, [31:42]

Notable Quotes & Moments (by Timestamp)

• The Ultimate Fast Move-Out:
  • "I went to work and came back home, and he was prancing around in my underwear." – Nicole, [08:04]
• Surprise Polyamory:
  • “She asked him to move in too.” – Bobby, [10:02]
• Academic Defense:
  • "I’ve never met a student looking on message boards about Moby Dick or Ulysses, but about Lost, yes." – Professor Sloop, [17:17]
• Pop Culture in the Classroom:
  • "It's not just a course where we're sitting around eating popcorn." – Prof. Sloop, [20:54]
• Initiation Assignment:
  • “We want to get you out a little bit, interacting with the Atlanta community…All of it on MySpace.” – Evangeline, [37:43]
• Hoss's Snake Phobia:
  • “They made me do a snake bit and I ended up crying.” – Hoss, [35:01]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Move-In Mishaps & Listener Stories: [01:33–14:26]
• Interview with Professor Sloop (Lessons from Lost): [14:26–22:45]
• Meet Hoss: Introduction & Q&A: [22:45–40:15]

Tone & Style

• The tone is irreverent, fast-paced, and packed with playful teasing.
• Hosts share personal stories, then turn the microphone to listeners for wild, real-life tales.
• The interview with Professor Sloop blends pop-culture nerdiness with genuine intellectual curiosity.
• Hoss’s on-air “initiation” is good-natured but peppered with old-school morning show ribbing, highlighting the crew’s camaraderie.

Summary Takeaways

• Moving in together remains a comic minefield—listeners deliver extreme, cringeworthy tales.
• Pop culture, especially TV, is both fun and surprisingly serious as a tool for exploring meaningful themes in academia.
• New team member Hoss brings relatable “new guy in town” nervousness and charm, with the cast embracing him and setting him up for classic Bert Show adventures (and a MySpace challenge).
• Throughout, the show's relatable hosts and interactive calls curate both laughter and empathy, cementing their status as Atlanta’s go-to authentic morning radio crew.