Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, November 4 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, November 4 [Vault]

Originally aired: November 4, 2025
Hosted by Bert, with Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & Cast

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends silly banter, listener drama, pop culture, and some classic morning show antics. From poking fun at awkward sports coverage to tackling deeply relatable relationship dilemmas (with help from their signature "child psychologist" segment), the crew keeps the energy high. Two especially memorable themes emerge:

• Dealing with shortcomings—memory loss and sexual incompatibility—in hilarious, candid ways
• The simple wisdom of kids solving complex adult relationship issues

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1. Winter Olympics: Montages, Mishaps, and Mockery

[02:00–04:27]

Key Points

• The cast discusses their waning interest in the Winter Olympics, joking about the growing resemblance between the Olympics and the X Games, especially with new events like snowboard cross.
• They riff on NBC's heavy-handed athlete montages, poking fun at the cliché shots of athletes looking pensively at trophies and out the window.

Memorable Quotes

• Birch Show Host [03:49]: “What this is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself what could be.”
• Burt Show Host [04:11]: “These montages are all basically stories of overcoming insurmountable odds to be where they are today.”

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2. "Gold Medal" Memory Loss: Bert’s Forgetfulness Gets the Montage Treatment

[04:27–08:45]

Key Points

• In a parody segment styled as an inspirational Olympic montage, the cast (with guest narration) highlights host Bert's legendary short-term memory struggles.
• Interns and co-hosts share stories about Bert’s repeated introductions and interview blunders.
• Bert tries (and hilariously fails) a year-long wager to remember a random number.

Timestamps and Quotes

• Adam Grant (Narrating) [04:27]: “Bert Weiss, gold medal memory problems. ... each day is a gold medal in short term memory loss.”
• Birch Show Host [06:58]: “What number, Burt Weiss, on December 16, 2004, were you requested to remember for $400?”
  • Burt Show Host: “I’m gonna go with the number 21.”
  • [Plays audio] Past Bert: "48."
• Burt Show Host [08:24]: "Every time, dude. ... I spend more time in my day trying to actually figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of."

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3. NASCAR Trivia & Friendly Hazing

[08:45–20:19]

Key Points

• Listener Katie Jo, a self-described big NASCAR fan, is quizzed on 10 challenging NASCAR trivia questions—with the results bearing comedic consequences for Melissa, another cast member.
• Missed answers add time to Melissa’s punishment: a future four-minute monologue/standup.

Notable Moments

• Katie Jo’s struggle with the trivia, missing most questions except the most expensive one, frustrates and entertains the team.
• The cast turns 30 seconds of silence into uncomfortable radio gold to illustrate how long four minutes will feel.

Quotes

• Birch Show Host [13:36]: “Let the record show, Katie Jo got the question about testicles wrong.”
• Burt Show Co-host [15:44]: “You nailed it. $10 million. You got it.”
• Burt Show Host [19:19]: “Four minutes of stand up comedy tomorrow.”
• Burt Show Co-host [20:13]: "Oh, you don't feel bad? Oh, yeah. Four minutes. Tomorrow I'll do it."

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4. Can a Relationship Work Without Good Sex?

[22:11–35:55]

Key Points

• A segment inspired by intern Alexis’ friend: “Can you have a good relationship if the sex is terrible?”
• Both the hosts and listeners (including a caller disguised as "Stephanie") share, sometimes painfully honestly, their perspectives and personal experiences.
• Arguments center around whether sexual incompatibility undermines a relationship in the long term, the importance of communication/coaching, and accepting limitations.

Notable Callers & Quotes

• Stephanie (voice disguised) [29:38]: “I've been married to the same man for 15 years. And the sex has sucked for 15 years. And it's hard to fake it. You can only stare up at the ceiling and pretend it's Mel Gibson so often.”
• Birch Show Host [34:44]: "That's sad. I'm sad for you. ... That sucks. I'm sorry."
• The segment ends with the hosts reflecting on whether sexual skill is innate or can be coached, and whether it's healthy to accept bad sex long-term.

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5. Jacob, the 11-Year-Old Psychologist: The Wisdom of Simplicity

[38:42–52:41]

Key Points

• “Jacob”—formerly a Bert’s Big Adventure participant—returns to give advice as a child psychologist to listeners' tough relationship questions.
• Jacob tackles issues like infidelity, non-committal partners, constant arguing, and even complicated crushes with a direct, no-nonsense approach that often boils down to: Don’t force what isn’t working. Go with the flow.

Timestamps and Cases

• Cheating Husband [41:20]:
  • Jacob’s advice: “Just go with the flow, man. Just do what you have to do.” [44:07]
• Non-Committal Partner [44:31]:
  • Jacob: “If he doesn’t want to go through with anything, just don’t go through it with him.” [45:21]
• Arguing Couple [45:54]:
  • Jacob: “If you’re with somebody you don’t like, then don’t be with somebody you don’t like.” [47:47]
  • And, with signature simplicity: “If you still want to stay with him, just call it a fox dog.” [47:55]
• Caller Engaged But Attracted to Fiance’s Friend [48:16]:
  • Jacob: “Go with the one with the most chemistry, just go with. Because you don’t want to be with somebody ... you don’t like anymore.” [49:44]
• Older Partner Growing Distant [50:38]:
  • Jacob: “If he doesn’t want to be in something, don’t make him ... I think you should confront him about it.” [51:20]

Quotes

• Co-host [52:25]: “If this show has taught me anything, it’s that puberty has made us stupid.”

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6. Tone & Vibe

• Playful, candid, and irreverent: The show roasts itself as much as anyone else. There’s mutual ribbing, self-deprecation (especially around Bert’s memory and the team’s pop culture gaps), but also genuine moments of empathy for struggling callers.
• Heartfelt real talk: Especially around topics like relationship satisfaction, the cast isn’t afraid to go deep but keeps emotional honesty wrapped in humor.

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7. Standout Quotes (with Timestamps)

• [05:02] Burt Show Host: “Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I'm in the process of doing because I can't remember what time.”
• [29:38] Stephanie (caller, voice disguised): “I've been married to the same man for 15 years. And the sex has sucked for 15 years. ... You can only stare up at the ceiling and pretend it's Mel Gibson so often.”
• [47:55] Jacob: “If you still want to stay with him, just call it a fox dog.”
• [52:25] Burt Show Co-host: “If this show has taught me anything is that puberty has made us stupid.”

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8. Key Takeaways

• Memory woes can be comedic gold—and a relatable human struggle.
• Communication is vital, but sex really does matter in most long-term relationships.
• Kids’ logic brings refreshing clarity to adult problems—often, “go with the flow” is wiser than overthinking.
• Honest conversations, even when awkward or painful, are the only way through tough relationship situations.

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Notable Timestamps for Segments

• Winter Olympics & Athlete Montages: [02:00–04:27]
• Bert’s “Gold Medal Memory Loss:” [04:27–08:45]
• NASCAR Trivia Challenge: [08:45–20:19]
• Relationship Advice: Sex & Compatibility: [22:11–35:55]
• Jacob, 11-yo Child Psychologist: [38:42–52:41]

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Final Thoughts

Whether lampooning their own foibles or gamely tackling real listener problems, the Bert Show delivers empathy, laughs, and unfiltered honesty—a blend that’s equal parts escapist and relevant for any listener facing a tough morning (or year).

Transcript

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[Birch Show Host]

The Birch Show.

[Burt Show Host]

I didn't watch two minutes Olympics. Like I kind of like fell off the table after Ryan Levier.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

No, I will watch it. I don't care. Whatever's on, I will, you know, take a look at it. So this weekend, the only time that I felt like, oh, I had to turn was I couldn't quite get into the cross country skiing, you know, because it Wasn't quite thrilling. But, yeah, the. Whatever else is going on, I'll watch it. So I watched a little bit that.

[Burt Show Host]

Cross snowboarding thing they're doing now. Snowboarding cross thing where you have four people lined up and they're all competing against each other. That's pretty awesome.

[Birch Show Host]

It's like a race.

[Burt Show Host]

It's a race between all four.

[Birch Show Host]

Did the hot dog thing and killed it.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. She ended up losing.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. And the thing. And I really feel like the. The Winter Olympics are becoming. Besides the ice skating and ice dancing and that kind of thing. And the. Is the X Games. Because this week you were seeing so many half pipes and, you know, slaloms and stuff like that that you'd only seen the X Games.

[Birch Show Host]

And there's that dude, the angry tomato or whatever his name is.

[Burt Show Host]

Flying Tomato. Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

He's a snowboarder and he's so. He'.

[Burt Show Host]

Bro.

[Birch Show Host]

I was toes so caught some air. Was awesome, bro.

[Burt Show Host]

It's all about organic food, bro. That's it. Give me a little organic food. The gold is mine.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

So funny.

[Burt Show Host]

So we've been talking the last couple of days about how if you're watching the Winter Olympics, it's really more fun to actually see these montages that NBC is putting together of the athletes than it is to watch curling.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

And yesterday, I wish I could remember what I. I laughed out loud. I forgot what. Ice skaters. A female ice skater. And they were doing her montage yesterday, and she wasn't on a porch looking over to what was going on. They had her sit in her room and had her look over toward her trophy case. But they always have to have a profile of these athletes looking off in the distance.

[Birch Show Host]

And then she turns and looks out the window because the trophies represent the past, but what's out the window represents the future.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

That's right.

[Adam Grant]

Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

What this is what has been. But Michelle Kwan asks herself what could be.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I would like a montage. I would like a montage of just the faces, just the turns, not the whole thing. Just. Yeah, somebody at NBC needs to turn.

[Burt Show Host]

Just the retrospective looks that they give.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Out the window because everybody has to have that.

[Burt Show Host]

So again, these montages are all basically stories of overcoming insurmountable odds to be where they are today. So we have all put together our Winter Olympics montage, and today was my day for my Olympic montage.

[Adam Grant]

Bert Weiss, gold medal memory problems. While most of us easily weave through our days and nights, we tend to take for granted our ability to recall memories from yesteryear, yesterday or even last hour. Your first Kiss Prom night. A conversation you had six minutes ago with a co worker. Most of these memories are easily reachable, but for Burt Weiss, each day is a gold medal in short term memory loss. No recollection of anything that happened, in some cases, minutes beforehand.

[Burt Show Host]

Most days I really spend just kind of like walking from room to room trying to figure out what I'm in the process of doing because I can't remember what time.

[Adam Grant]

Birch show intern Erin.

[Burt Show Host]

It's so sad. I've been working at Q100 for close to three months now.

[Hers Advertisement Voice]

And each morning Burt reintroduces himself to me as though it's the first time we ever met.

[Burt Show Host]

For him, I guess it's like that movie Groundhog's Day. So sad.

[Adam Grant]

Bert show co host Jeff Doll.

[Birch Show Host]

You know, I book interviews for the Burt show with celebrities and I always cringe because Burt is gonna forget something really important. Whether it's the name of the artist's first album or the movie they were in. Somehow he will screw it up and embarrass the Bird show in front of these high profile superstars.

[Burt Show Host]

If anything, I think you guys sexualized men. Cause I remember that video with all the dudes coming out of the elevator. That thing was kinda the elevator. Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

Tony.

[Burt Show Host]

No, that's not Tony Braxton.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, hello, Tony Braxton.

What are you talking about? That's the wrong boy.

[Burt Show Host]

I am never gonna live that down. Have you ever seen that movie Memento? That's the movie that Rob Lowe is in. It's probably his best work ever. It's about a dude that doesn't have any short term memory. Not only is it Rob Lowe's best work, but I live my life like that every single day.

[Adam Grant]

And some members of the Burt show have not been quite as supportive. Bird show producer Tracy Peluso.

[Hers Advertisement Voice]

Well, publicly I try and comfort him. But let me tell you, there's been quite a few times where I'll tell him that he's actually approved things. Truthfully, I never even asked him about.

[Adam Grant]

Bert show co host Ben Hobby.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I absolutely love the fact that he cannot remember a thing. Nothing has no memory. But he tries to fight it so much. He gets so mad when he can't remember anything. You know what? Last year he made this hundred dollar bet with us. Still won't pay off the bets.

[Birch Show Host]

Hey, Burt, what's your number?

[Burt Show Host]

48. Nice. No, I'm doing that whole word of I'm guaranteeing you people I will remember that number next year.

[Adam Grant]

Burt Weiss One year later.

[Birch Show Host]

What? What number? Burt Weiss On December 16, 2004, were you requested to remember for $400?

[Burt Show Host]

I'm gonna go with the number 21. Let me play this audio and we'll know.

[Birch Show Host]

Hey, Bert, what's your number?

[Burt Show Host]

48.

[Adam Grant]

Nice.

[Burt Show Host]

No, I'm doing that whole word of so I. I'm getting DP right now. The problem is people can't understand my pain. They don't know what it's like to not have any short term memory whatsoever. I can't think of the last time I parked my car and, like, got out of the restaurant and didn't have to walk around a parking lot with my keychain over my head hitting my alarm button to try to locate where my car is.

[Adam Grant]

Burt Weiss, an inspiration. Burt Weiss, gold medal effort. Burt Weiss, gold medal memory loss.

[Birch Show Host]

Does that happen to you? Like, do you really forget where you park your car? Every time.

[Burt Show Host]

Every time, dude. I mean, it's embarrassing. If Stacy's not with me, I spend more time in my day trying to actually figure out where I parked my car than I did in the actual meeting I just got out of. It's awful. It's awful. It's so frustrating.

[Birch Show Host]

No wonder you hate going to the mall and stuff, because you're in the mall for 45 minutes, you're in the.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Parking lot for 90.

Yeah.

Poor little thing.

[Birch Show Host]

The Burch Show.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Katie.

[Caller or Guest]

Jill, good morning.

[Burt Show Host]

How are you today? I'm great.

[Caller or Guest]

How are you?

[Burt Show Host]

Good. You know, I know you were up studying all night last night.

[Caller or Guest]

Not all night.

[Burt Show Host]

Little bit.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Not all night. But that means she definitely studied.

[Caller or Guest]

I studied a little bit. I studied a little bit.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, you've been studying your whole life. I mean, you're a big NASCAR fan. So these questions, I think that if you have been following NASCAR most of your life, some of them are going to be easy. I think some of them are going to be more challenging. I would predict that you're not going to get all 10. Right.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, well, we'll see.

[Birch Show Host]

And, well, what Melissa is hoping is that you get three or more wrong because that saves her from boot camp. However, it would still cost her at least a minute and a half of monologue time.

[Caller or Guest]

Right, right. So, yeah, I did a little bit.

Of research and figured out there's a.

Lot I don't know.

But we'll see. We'll see.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Confidence. Come on. Confidence.

[Burt Show Host]

It's all about attitude. You gotta have a little more confidence in this.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, I'm sure it'll be fine regardless, because it's just a win, win for everybo. I want to Hear more in the morning than that.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, I have put together a list of 10 trivia questions based on NASCAR.

[Caller or Guest]

All right. Oh, God.

[Burt Show Host]

You ready for question number one?

[Caller or Guest]

Let's go.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, Katie Jo, in NASCAR, what is the definition of marbles?

[Caller or Guest]

That would be a reference to the driver's.

Bravery or cojones in making a pass.

[Burt Show Host]

The longest race of the NASCAR season is which race?

[Caller or Guest]

That would be the Pepsi 600.

[Burt Show Host]

The car that comes in first in any NASCAR event receives 180 points towards the Nextel cup championship. The last car in finishing order receives how many points? 30. After a race day wreck. Driver Sterling Marlin is notorious for executing this superstition. What is it.

[Caller or Guest]

He runs around the track.

[Burt Show Host]

The average amount a primary sponsor pays in the NASCAR Cup Series is how much money? 10 million a company can expect to spend. How much money per hour for a primary driver like Dale Jr. Or Jeff Gordon to do a personal appearance? How much money per hour?

[Caller or Guest]

$100,000.

[Burt Show Host]

In 1977, she was the first woman driver to qualify for the Daytona 500. What is her name?

[Caller or Guest]

Janet. Janet Green.

[Burt Show Host]

What North Carolina city does Dale Jr. Currently reside in?

[Caller or Guest]

Charlotte.

[Burt Show Host]

The drive into this speedway is regarded as the worst traffic jam in the nascar. What track is it?

[Caller or Guest]

Talladega.

[Burt Show Host]

What current driver? This is question number 10.

[Adam Grant]

This is it.

[Burt Show Host]

What current driver endorses Halston 714 Cologne? Dale Jr. All right, give us a couple of minutes here, Katie Jo. We come back, I will tell you how many you got right or how many you got wrong. Okay, we will do the math and we will find out if Melissa has to do any monologue at all tomorrow. And if she does, how much. All right, let's find out how long this monologue is going to be. I told you that you're going to have to do some tomorrow. All right, Katie Jo?

[Caller or Guest]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

You ready?

[Caller or Guest]

I'm ready.

[Burt Show Host]

Now, you said you felt pretty confident, at least four of the answers.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, maybe four.

[Burt Show Host]

And keep in mind, when I was putting these together, I have no reference at all of nascar. So I had kind of a sense of, you know, that I knew I didn't want you to get them all right? But I had no idea which ones are gonna be hard and which ones weren't. Cause I don't watch nascar. So I took these out of one book, and the book is in the back somewhere. It's like the Women's Guide to NASCAR or something like that. All right, here we go. Katie Jo, the first question was, in nascar, what is the definition of marbles and you were referring to a man's testicles, which a lesbian should never do.

[Birch Show Host]

As you often do.

[Burt Show Host]

And you said it probably something to do with a man. A driver's bravery. I think that makes great common sense.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

When passing or whatever.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, that marbles refers to some bravery. Great common sense. Not the accurate answer. That is excess rubber tire found at the edge of the racetrack.

[Caller or Guest]

All right.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, so that's one wrong.

[Caller or Guest]

Of course.

[Burt Show Host]

That's 30 seconds. Jen, will you keep track of these for me?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

And the time?

[Birch Show Host]

Let the record show. Katie Jo got the question about testicles wrong.

[Burt Show Host]

I'm feeling pretty bad for you on this one. The longest race of the NASCAR season is which race. You were confident. You answered quickly. You said the Pepsi 600 at Lowe's Motor Speedway.

[Caller or Guest]

Yep.

[Burt Show Host]

In thinking about it now, do you know what you said wrong?

[Caller or Guest]

Uh, oh, I think that I. I don't think it's at the right.

Did I say the speedway?

Did I say the wrong speedway?

[Burt Show Host]

It's The Coca Cola 600.

[Caller or Guest]

Coca Cola 600.

[Birch Show Host]

Oh, wrong soft drink.

[Caller or Guest]

Oh.

[Burt Show Host]

You had the right race, wrong sponsor. I still support her and all the aunts. That was close.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

That's one minute for Melissa.

[Birch Show Host]

But Melissa, if she gets one more wrong, you're out of boot camp. Think of it that way.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. See Jeff, always looking at the positive.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

That's our Jeff.

[Birch Show Host]

If you get one more wrong, Melissa, you can stay lazy.

[Burt Show Host]

Question.

[Birch Show Host]

Stay lazy, pony girl.

[Burt Show Host]

Question number three was the car that comes in first in any NASCAR event receives 180 points. You said yes.

[Caller or Guest]

I knew that.

[Burt Show Host]

That wasn't even the question yet. The last car in finishing order receives how many points? You said 30. The answer's 34.

[Birch Show Host]

Oh, no.

[Caller or Guest]

Uh.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, damn.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

There's a minute.

[Birch Show Host]

Minute and a half.

[Burt Show Host]

90 seconds after a race day wreck. This driver, Sterling Marlin, is notorious for executing this superstition. What is it you said? He gets out of the car and he just runs around the track.

[Birch Show Host]

Did you make that up?

[Caller or Guest]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

It's pretty quick. No, he always throws away his shoes. He thinks they're bad luck, so he throws away his shoes. Let me just ask.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Has she gotten any right yet?

[Birch Show Host]

No, not yet.

[Adam Grant]

Two minutes.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Just checking.

[Caller or Guest]

It's gonna be a long week.

Yeah.

[Birch Show Host]

Two minutes now.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

You're gonna have a lot of TV time this weekend.

[Burt Show Host]

The average amount of a primary sponsor paying in the NASCAR Cup Series is how much money you write off that. You said $10 million. You nailed it. $10 million. You got it.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

That's right.

[Burt Show Host]

That's right.

[Birch Show Host]

Oh, sweet you're still holding solid at two minutes. What's the deal with post offices?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

This is gonna suck.

[Burt Show Host]

Question number six was a company can expect to spend how much money per hour from a primary driver, like a guy like Dale Jr. Or Jeff Gordon to do a personal appearance? You said it's gotta be about $100,000. The right answer is about half of that $50,000 to get those guys out there for an hour.

[Caller or Guest]

I'm learning so much.

[Birch Show Host]

Two and a half minutes. You're learning what a celibate life is gonna be like, tell you that much. You're living Father Bailey's existence for a while.

[Burt Show Host]

In 1977, she was the first woman driver to qualify for the Daytona 500. You said. I know this. You read it last night. You said Janet Green. It was Janet Guthrie.

[Birch Show Host]

Janet Green was the girl who always stole your crayons back in fifth grade.

[Burt Show Host]

How many point. How many minutes are we up to now?

[Adam Grant]

Three.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yep, we're up to three.

[Adam Grant]

Three.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

No.

[Caller or Guest]

Is he sweating yet?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, we're up to three minutes.

[Burt Show Host]

Three minutes. How you doing, Melissa? It's three minutes.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, I'm just listening.

[Burt Show Host]

Uhoh. She got that fake smile.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

She's doing that tapping her pen on the desk thing.

[Caller or Guest]

I've seen that before.

[Birch Show Host]

A priest, a rabbi and a lesbian walk into a bar.

[Burt Show Host]

What North Carolina city does Dale Jr. Currently reside in? That's your dude, right?

[Caller or Guest]

That's my guy.

[Burt Show Host]

That's your guy. You said Charlotte. It's Mooresville, North Carolina. Oh, come on. I don't even know if that's outside of Charlotte.

[Birch Show Host]

Is that like the Marietta of Charlotte?

[Burt Show Host]

I have no idea. That's what it's listed as. Mooresville. I. Look, it's not.

[Caller or Guest]

It's not.

[Birch Show Host]

Come on, give her that one.

[Burt Show Host]

We don't even know where Mooresville is.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Look up Morris.

[Birch Show Host]

I'll MapQuest it. What's the. What's what is that. What is a suburb perimeter? Trying to help you, Melissa?

[Burt Show Host]

No idea. It's got a. You should.

[Birch Show Host]

Melissa. You should say, like, 400 miles.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, look it up.

[Birch Show Host]

What's the deal with Mooresville? Why can't you just say you're from Charlotte?

[Burt Show Host]

The drive into this speedway is regarded as the worst traffic jam in the NASCAR world. What track is it? You said Talladega. The correct answer was Pocono.

[Caller or Guest]

I thought you meant in the South. Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

There are other parts of the country.

[Birch Show Host]

Why would he. Why would he.

[Caller or Guest]

Other parts of the country.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, there are other parts of the country where NASCAR is run.

[Caller or Guest]

I got it.

Okay.

[Birch Show Host]

Is Mooresville with one O or it.

[Burt Show Host]

Is with one R. Two R's.

[Birch Show Host]

What?

[Adam Grant]

Huh?

[Burt Show Host]

One O. Two R's.

[Adam Grant]

I mean.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Okay, we're up to four minutes. If Mooresville's wrong.

[Adam Grant]

Jesus.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, I know Morrisville is right. He's just saying how far out of Charlotte is.

[Birch Show Host]

I mean, I'm gonna give it.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I think we give it to her Charlotte, Mooresville thing. That's what I meant.

[Burt Show Host]

And the final question.

[Adam Grant]

Melissa.

[Burt Show Host]

Melissa has gone from a natural smile to the kind of like fake smile to the. Good God, this is going to be the longest four minutes of my life.

[Caller or Guest]

She's not proud right now.

[Burt Show Host]

Uh oh.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

She can't even speak to you.

[Burt Show Host]

The last question. The last question was, what current driver endorses Halston 714 Cologne?

[Caller or Guest]

I got this wrong, too.

[Burt Show Host]

I think you said my boy. This is my boy, Dale Jr. Can I add another 30 seconds?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, no.

[Burt Show Host]

The correct answer was Jeff Gordon. So we're.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Isn't he your enemy?

[Caller or Guest]

I don't like Jeff Gordon, but I.

Don'T know their colognes. Yeah, I shanked out pretty good. Morrisville is 30 minutes from Charlotte.

[Burt Show Host]

30 minutes from Charlotte. You want to give her that one?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, let's give her that.

[Burt Show Host]

All right.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Four minutes, dude.

[Burt Show Host]

What? Four minutes. You're the one that's always stickler for the rules.

[Adam Grant]

Four minutes.

[Burt Show Host]

I'll bend them for you because you're a lesbian. Four minutes. Four minutes of stand up comedy tomorrow.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Well, at least I don't have to.

[Burt Show Host]

Do boot camp ever. At least you got that going for you.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Wrong. Two corrects, Katie Jo.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, have to work on that.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, do you remember how long 60 seconds felt when we had to karaoke?

[Burt Show Host]

Let's do. Okay, let's just all be silent for just 30 seconds. Okay, here's 30 seconds right now. I can't do it. That's 10.

[Birch Show Host]

Oh, God. Oh, no.

[Burt Show Host]

That's 20.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, you don't feel bad? Oh, yeah. Four minutes. Tomorrow I'll do it.

[Birch Show Host]

How many NASCAR drivers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I am never watching NASCAR again, I.

[Adam Grant]

Can tell you that. The Birch Show. Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro?

[Birch Show Host]

Got it from Verizon. The best 5G network in America.

[Burt Show Host]

I never looked so good. You look the same. But with this camera, everything looks better.

[Adam Grant]

Especially me.

[Burt Show Host]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies check, please with Verizon. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One.

[Hers Advertisement Voice]

No trade in needed.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Offer ends November 5th with a new.

[Burt Show Host]

Line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Tours. Route Metrics the United States 2020, 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Adam Grant]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through November 4th. Shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend $25 on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash, Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost water gel, Dial Liquid hand soap, and Olay body wash. And save $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's podcast Work Life, and this episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 companies use the ServiceNow AI platform. While other platforms duct tape tools together, ServiceNow seamlessly unifies people, data workflows, and AI connecting every corner of your business. And with AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters Most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for [e-mail].

[Burt Show Host]

So intern Alexis is not here to speak for herself, but I want to relay to you guys a situation that she's in right now with some of her friends, right? And of course she detailed it to me, so I'm gonna mess up a whole bunch of the information. But she's not here to clarify.

[Birch Show Host]

This is similar. This is vaguely similar to whatever Alexis is going through, but it's been embellished quite a bit to make it good for the rad.

[Burt Show Host]

I think I can. I think I've got the gist of it and the gist of the question that she has. And it goes something like this. Like, she's got a friend that's Probably, I'm guessing, 23, 24, 25 years old and been dating this guy for a couple of months. And the guy was like, pretty perfect in every area. I'm guessing everything that she likes in a guy. This was the dude. Right height, right sensitivity, fun dude, smart dude, great across the board. But he was really, really, really bad in bed. Really bad in bed. And she waited it out because, you know, that first time, sometimes things don't work out so well. You're like, that's Cool. I mean, the guy's so good, you know, in other areas, I'm sure this was just like first time jitters type thing, didn't work out so well.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

So stage fright or something? Maybe.

[Burt Show Host]

Could be because I'm under that, that impression also, like, the first time that you ever have sex with somebody generally is probably the worst it's going to be with that person.

[Caller or Guest]

Right?

[Burt Show Host]

All right. So second time didn't get any better. Third time, now she's dreading having a sleep with this guy, but she's really conflicted because he's just not getting any better. They've just started this relationship, really. So they're not at a point in the relationship where she can say, look, here's where you, you, here's what you need to do, or point them in the right direction. So the question she wanted to ask was, is it possible to have a really great relationship, solid relationship with somebody, even, maybe even a marriage with the sex being absolutely horrible? 404-741-1005 Now, I want to get Jessica on for this, but I don't. You know what? That's such an important part of every relationship. I don't know that if she was asking me, I would say no.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I would say no overall. But I would also ask Alexis's friend if she had tried to make improvements. Because sometimes women are afraid to talk to their guys about improvements they can make in certain areas. And sometimes guys are receptive to it, and other times they're not. If it's gonna bruise his ego too much and he's gonna run away anyway, well, there you go. You have your answer. But I think, don't you think there's some stuff that you can be coached on or you can say this way is great, but that way's not. Or what if we try this or slow down here? You know, I mean, you can sort of, I think, coach or give direction over time. And that goes both way. Men for women. You know, I mean, there's certain things that you guys are gonna like or certain things that you're not. And I think you gotta be able to tell the other person what it is that you like and what it is you don't like.

[Burt Show Host]

See, here's where guys are guilty of just not paying attention. Because I think that the women that you're with are giving you subtle hints all the time while things are going on, on what they like and what they don't like if they mean to or not, but don't. If your antenna is up, you should Be able to tell, but I don't know that we're really. We have the. We haven't made the switch.

[Birch Show Host]

But the thing is, don't be for women. Like, when you're dealing with guys, don't be subtle. Like, got, like. I think women, when they're dealing with other women, like, whether it be in the workplace or like friends or whatever, like, they try to be subtle and dance around and be polite or whatever, like, guys aren't gonna. I mean, there's.

[Caller or Guest]

I don't.

[Birch Show Host]

Don't be rude, but you don't have to be subtle.

[Burt Show Host]

We want to know that we're good, but we can be better. Don't tell us we suck. And here's how to get good, right?

[Birch Show Host]

Exactly. Bird put it perfectly. Like, hey, you know, you know what would make next time we do this a lot better? Little guidance. So not like, God, you know what? I really, really like feathers. Like, and then have that be said over dinner. And then you get mad when the guy doesn't tickle you with a feather like four days later. Like, no.

[Burt Show Host]

The question really is that Alexis friend has. Is, can a relationship work long term? If everything's great in the relationship, things are fine, but sexually, oh, it's just such a drag and there's nothing you can do. Now, the trump card in this equation that we don't have is how long they were going out. But I think if the overall question is can you have a healthy relationship if the sex sucks? Is still pretty valid. It doesn't matter the timetable on it.

[Birch Show Host]

Knowing Alexis and the circle of friends she runs in, they've probably been dating a week now.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning.

[Caller or Guest]

Hi.

I want to tell you guys I love your show and I had to call in. I definitely have an opinion. I think the key word here is long term. And I think that if long term things don't change. She is always going to feel like there's something she's missing and that is a really fulfilling part of a long term monogamous relationship. And if she always feels like she's missing out or things are not satisfying, I think that the relationship overall will suffer.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I agree with you. Don't you think too that if it was overtime and you went in into a marriage where you were great friends, everything was great, but there was nothing, you know, going on in the bedroom that you could be pulled away from that marriage easier if someone came in and there was all this chemistry and they were sweet, you know, all this, like, sexual tension and all this stuff going on or what you know what I mean? Like, somebody could sweep you off your feet a little bit faster, don't you think?

[Caller or Guest]

Absolutely. I cannot disagree with that at all. And I just think that, you know, you can't shortchange that part of your life. And you want to be the person who rises above and says, gosh, there's so many other wonderful things about this person, but you really just can't shortchange that part of your relationship.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, I think that's the flaw in the thinking right there. For some reason, we think, like, sex is a superficial part of somebody or a relationship. And it's not like you want to say all the other stuff that matters so much. He's got such a great heart. He's so sensitive. Well, to me, sex is right there. I mean, that's. That's a pretty big part of the equation. It's not superficial at all, you know? Hey, Art. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show. What's up?

[Caller or Guest]

Hello.

[Burt Show Host]

Yup.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey. What I wanted to say was, you know, part of being in a relationship is taking the good and the bad sometimes, you know, as people get older, their sex life. Wayne's. You get to be 40 years old. Amanda's, his sex life goes out the door a little bit. Women, the same thing. I mean, sex, always going to be there. And if you find somebody that you can spend the next 30 years with, then, you know, you got to sort of filter out what's most important to you.

[Burt Show Host]

So what you're saying is you can have a really great relationship with the sex just pretty much sucking.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, let me ask you this. What would happen if something were to happen to your partner? They get into an accident and they no longer can be sexually active. If that's something to consider. I mean, sex life can be taken away immediately.

[Burt Show Host]

I think you're asking a different question.

[Birch Show Host]

Two totally different things. Like, now you're asking someone to make the investment at the beginning. Like when. When that huge lifetime bond hasn't been built. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like. It's like you're building, like you. Like, it's like building a structure, and you add to that structure every month that you're together. So when would you rather, I guess, abandon building that. For lack of a better word, three months into it or 30 years into it? You're not going to. 30 years into it.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. The circumstances does make sense. Yeah. We are going to call this virtual listener Stephanie, and she is on the voice disguiser. Hi, Stephanie.

[Caller or Guest]

Hi, Bert. I just Wanted to say, I love you guys, and she needs to get rid of that guy. I've been married to the same man for 50 years. 15 years. And the sex has sucked for 15 years. And it's hard to fake it. You can only stare up at the ceiling and pretend it's Mel Gibson so often.

[Burt Show Host]

But isn't some of this your fault? Like, I'm assuming he wasn't great before you got married and you made the decision to get married to a guy that sucked in bed.

[Caller or Guest]

Yep, that's true. But I did love him. And I thought I could make it. I don't know, make it right, make it good. When you love someone enough, you think anything's possible. And unfortunately, I think it's hard to teach guys new tricks. Some just aren't willing to learn. Others are. I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of guys out there that wouldn't be open for suggestions, but bottom line, if you just don't got it, you don't got it.

[Burt Show Host]

You've tried to guide him in the right direction, and he just isn't listening.

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's quick and over and, you know, as long as. As long as the man's happy, that's all that matters.

[Birch Show Host]

Have you talked to him about that?

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, absolutely.

[Birch Show Host]

Okay.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

He's just not receptive to making any change.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, he. I don't want to say he doesn't try, but, you know, when. When you don't got it, how do you. How do you make it better?

[Burt Show Host]

So what you're saying is, like, there are just some people that will never get better because this is just not something they're ever gonna be good at. Like, you got it.

[Caller or Guest]

You got it. Just like, you know, if you're good in sports, you're just naturally good in things. And if you don't got it, I don't know. You know, you can't. You can practice, practice, practice, but that doesn't make you a good football player or a good soccer player.

[Burt Show Host]

That's a great question. For another time. Like taking calls on if they agree or disagree with you, that if you're bad, you'll always be bad. Or if there are some, that doesn't matter. I mean, in your experience, doesn't matter how hard he tries. This is just something he sucks at. Let me ask you this.

[Caller or Guest]

You got it.

[Burt Show Host]

Has it. And you're on the voice disguiser, so I hope you can answer this honestly. Has the sex been so bad that you have gone outside of your relationship?

[Caller or Guest]

Never.

[Burt Show Host]

Never.

[Caller or Guest]

Never. I wouldn't do that. I do bow my vows with my husband, and I would never cheat on him. But it helps to just pretend you're there with someone else.

[Birch Show Host]

Have you. Have you considered it?

[Caller or Guest]

Never. Never. Not that. Well, I shouldn't say never, but I'd have to get divorced. I could never just cheat on him.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Right.

[Burt Show Host]

So you must dread, like, the nights that he's coming on to you. There must be, like this small little panic that comes up over you that has to suffer through this. Yeah.

[Caller or Guest]

Sometimes it's easier to just get drunk. I have to say, when I was younger, first May, you know, when you get nice and drunk, it would certainly make it easier. But now, the older you get, you just pretend that you're with someone else.

[Burt Show Host]

That'S sad and make it what you.

[Caller or Guest]

Want it to be, which is sad.

But are you guys.

When you have kids involved and. And you do love the person, you make it work.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Are you all.

[Caller or Guest]

That's why I'm saying she's dating the guy. Get out. While the going good.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Are you at a stage where there's no talking or coaching anymore? It's just like you've sort of put up a wall and. He sort of put up a wall.

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Because I was gonna say, even at this point, if you guys got like a coach or, you know, I mean, they have people like that, like sex therapists and stuff that can help couples, but. But if you guys have both put up a mental wall, even if he gets better, you might not be receptive to it.

[Caller or Guest]

I don't know. I don't know, because I guess it's that old line, you can't teach an.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Old dog new trick, but you also can't. I mean, you also can't always keep that in your mind. If he is willing to improve.

[Caller or Guest]

If he was willing to improve.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Caller or Guest]

When you. I don't know how to say it. When you have someone that wouldn't be open to those options, it. You know, it doesn't.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Right.

[Caller or Guest]

It doesn't matter. And I mean, but in 15 years, I. Of course, I've never told him that it sucks. I mean, I don't want to kill his ego completely.

Right.

[Burt Show Host]

Let me ask you a deeply personal question. Have you had a big O in 15 years?

[Caller or Guest]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I. I have a great imagination.

[Birch Show Host]

Okay, so you had. You do it with. You have it with. With him.

[Caller or Guest]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

Technically.

[Caller or Guest]

Technically.

[Burt Show Host]

That's sad. I'm sad for you. I really am. That sucks. That really does. I'm sorry.

[Caller or Guest]

Just Tell her to go while the going's good. I've made my bed. I can lay in it. But that no one else should have to.

[Burt Show Host]

Good advice for somebody that's there. Thank you very much for that.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Thanks for being so honest.

[Adam Grant]

Appreciate it.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, take care.

[Burt Show Host]

Bye. Bye. Do you remember that one virtual listener we had on one time that her husband was so bad in bed that every time he wanted to have sex, she'd run to the refrigerator?

[Adam Grant]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

And she'd put ketchup in her underwear. No, every time. And tell them that it was every time it was that time of the month.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, that's so sad.

[Birch Show Host]

What about this woman who spent most of her married life getting drunk before they did it? Same thing.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Well, I just think that anybody in any way is coachable if you're open to being coachable. I mean, we've talked about it in different, completely different scenarios. Not sexual or not in the bedroom at all, but, like, guests that we would have in here that are coachable or others that aren't coachable. Cause it's just being open to it and being receptive to constructive criticism.

[Burt Show Host]

To me that, like, your bedroom is, like, the last place in the world that you should have any kind of ego at all. You know what I'm saying? Any kind of ego at all. And so many different levels.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Guys have to remember that, too.

[Burt Show Host]

The Birch Show.

[Adam Grant]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this fall. Take care of the little ones in the family with baby club Savings now through November 4th. Spend $25 on select Baby Club products and save $5. Shop for items like Pediasure bottles, Pedialyte powder packs, Huggies baby wipes, Huggies diapers, Gerber puffs, and Gerber pouches. And save $5 when you buy. $25 or more on participating products. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Burt Show Host]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Burt Show Host]

Well, I dig the mattress, and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you. Teach me. So.

[Adam Grant]

Dana.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Birch Show Host]

Wow.

[Burt Show Host]

Impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Nice.

[Burt Show Host]

Jeffrey, you heard them. T Mobile is the best place to.

[Adam Grant]

Get the new iPhone 717 Pro on us.

[Burt Show Host]

With eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for launch?

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Dude, my work here is done with.

[Adam Grant]

24 month bill credit is on experience beyond for well qualified customers + tax and 35 device connection charge credit sending balance due to payoff earlier Cancel Finance agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs $1,099.99 and new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto pay plus taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oaklove Speed Test Intelligence data 1H2025 visit t mobile.com A lot of supplement brands chase trends, but if you're serious about your health, we know research backed science is what actually moves the needle. Momentous works with the best brains in human science to create every formula and every batch is made of pure ingredients tested for safety and does not contain fillers. So you get the best long term result possible. Creatine isn't just for muscle gains. It's essential daily fuel for your brain, body and long term performance. Momentous Creapure Creatine is backed by leading performance experts like Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Stacy Sims. Sourced exclusively in Germany, Creapure sets the gold standard for creatine, delivering the purest form Creatine monoxide hydrate that's rigorously washed and never cut with fillers. With over 2,000 five star reviews, over 112,000 customers have seen the results firsthand with Momentous. The fundamentals are done right. Right now Momentous is offering our listeners up to 35% off your first subscription order with promo code Acast. Go to livemomentous.com and use promo code Acast for up to 35% off your first Subscription Order. That's livemomentous.com promo code Acast.

[Burt Show Host]

We met Jacob on Bert's Big Adventure. And you know how sometimes you just meet a child that has like this wisdom, like he's 11 years old, but he doesn't say like 11 year old things a lot of times. Jacob is one of those kids and we brought him on weeks and weeks and weeks ago to see how good he would be. Kind of like playing the role of psychologist. He did so well. Here's a sample of one of the calls that we took.

[Caller or Guest]

I am currently dating A I am 21, he is 32, but he lives in a house with his son's mother, but they're no longer together. She's supposed to be moving out actually today. Should I stand here and you know, try to make things work or should I Go with everybody else's opinion and say, you know, yeah, he's probably got, you know, he's probably with his baby's mama and all this stuff. Whoa. That's some crazy stuff. Well, I think that life is about what you think, not what other people think. So don't go on the influence of everybody else. Like, keep it real. Keep it like how you want it, and just basically do what you want to do, not what other people want to do. Well, if she doesn't move out, then, yeah, tell her to leave. So if she's not gone today, give her a day. Give her a day. Because, like, girls are really hard to move out.

[Burt Show Host]

So he summed it up in 30 seconds. Not a long, complicated adult talk. Jacob went right to it, man. We were in and out in 30 seconds.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

It took her longer to explain the problem than it did Jacob, how to fix it.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. Hey, Jacob. How you doing, man?

[Caller or Guest]

I'm doing good.

[Burt Show Host]

How you been, dude?

[Caller or Guest]

It's okay.

[Burt Show Host]

What's going on? Well, I'm just sitting here, kinda sitting here kind of. What?

[Caller or Guest]

Watching stuff like the walls?

[Burt Show Host]

Just bored.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Waiting for us to get to your phone call.

[Birch Show Host]

Sitting there watching the walls?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, man. Walls are fun.

[Birch Show Host]

What are they. What are they doing?

[Caller or Guest]

They're drying.

[Burt Show Host]

I hear. What I hear him saying is in his rider contract. Can we. We have to have him on a hole less than 60 seconds.

[Birch Show Host]

Yeah, what he's saying is, can we keep it moving here, people?

[Burt Show Host]

Right. All right, Jacob, let's get to the first call for you. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm actually go on hold because everybody that wants to talk to you this morning wants to be on the voice disguiser. So I'll put you on hold. We will take their call. You will hear it while you're on hold, and then I'll bring you back on. Okay.

[Caller or Guest]

All right.

[Birch Show Host]

When you come back out, will you speak up nice and loud for us?

[Caller or Guest]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. Hold on one second.

[Birch Show Host]

I don't want you to wake up the walls.

[Burt Show Host]

Seems awfully bored with us today. Good morning. We will call this Birch show listener Bill. Hello. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller or Guest]

Good morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Good morning. You have a question for our child psychologist, Jacob?

[Caller or Guest]

Yes, I do. Jacob. I here recently have had cheated on my wife, and my wife knows all about it, and she's still with me, fortunately. But I don't know why I did this. I need help.

[Burt Show Host]

Hold on one second.

[Birch Show Host]

Well, what's a specific question for Jacob, specifically? What do you need help with?

[Caller or Guest]

I don't Know why I did it? She keeps asking me why I cheated on her and I have no answer.

[Burt Show Host]

Why you're perfectly happy in the relationship.

[Caller or Guest]

I was perfectly happy in a relationship. There's. There's 11 and a half years. Pardon our age. I don't know if that played a factor in it, but it just happened.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Who's older?

[Caller or Guest]

She is.

[Birch Show Host]

So you're going. So you need a 10 year old to come up with an excuse for you to give to your wife as to why you cheated on her.

[Burt Show Host]

He's 11 going on 12.

[Birch Show Host]

Sorry.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, Bill, hold on one second. All right, that one's heavy right there. Let's see what Jacob has to say about it. Jacob, did you catch that?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

Here you got a married guy, been married for a while. His wife is like 11 years older than he is, and he was perfectly happy in his marriage and went out, ended up hooking up with another woman.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, was there like anything involved? Like was you at like a bar or something?

[Burt Show Host]

Hold on a second. I'm gonna put you, both of you guys on the voice disguiser. Bill, Jacob has questions for you.

[Caller or Guest]

No, it was not at a bar. It was a girl that was running around at work. It just kind of happened.

[Birch Show Host]

Well, that's what happened when girls just start running in the office.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

You just kind of fall on top of them.

[Adam Grant]

Yep.

[Burt Show Host]

That's a tough one right there, Jacob. This guy was totally happy.

[Birch Show Host]

Is that Jacob?

[Burt Show Host]

Hello?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, I'm still here.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, go ahead, Jacob.

[Caller or Guest]

All right.

I just.

I don't think that you should have.

Done it in the first place. That's just kind of like weird. Like, not like that kind of like.

Well, that's not weird, but like weird weird. Like crazy stuff weird. But like if you want to tell her that you didn't mean to and stuff you already have, then that's good. But I mean, I. I don't know what went on exactly because like I wasn't there. So you just got to like kind of think it through and know why you did it. And if you don't know why you did it, then maybe you should just start like helping her out and getting different relationship or something. If she doesn't want to be with you, but if she does, then hey, what the heck, just go with it.

[Burt Show Host]

I think he's asking, he's like, hey, I'm told I was totally happy. And you know what, like some nice looking woman came around. I ended up hooking up with her and I can't figure it out up.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, well, if you hooked up with her, then you hooked up with her. Just go with the flow, man. Just do what you have to do.

[Birch Show Host]

Okay, so that's what you tell your wife, sir. Go with the flow.

[Burt Show Host]

Go with the flow. Go with the flow. All right, hold on one second. Okay, Jacob.

[Caller or Guest]

All right.

[Burt Show Host]

Good morning. We're going to call you Micah. What's up?

[Caller or Guest]

I have been dating this guy for over a year, living together for a year. And every time I try to have the where are we going? Future Conversation, he starts making jokes, changes the subject. And he did get out of a really abusive, emotionally abusive marriage before we met. And I've got kids, he's got kids. And I just trying to decide or try to figure out what we're doing and where we're going.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so for one year. Well, let's get Jacob back on here. Take the voiceless guys are off. Jacob, for one year, Micah has been living with this guy. He keeps avoiding the future talk like she wants to build a future with this guy. Every time Micah brings it up, he wants nothing to do with the conversation as it. Oh, and as an 11 year old, what is your advice to her?

[Caller or Guest]

Well, if he doesn't want to go through with anything, just don't go through it with him.

[Burt Show Host]

So you can't force him into anything.

[Caller or Guest]

Exactly. And he can't force her in anything, which he's not trying to do. So if he doesn't want to go through with it, don't go through with it. And if you don't want to go through it with him, then don't go through it with him.

[Birch Show Host]

So are you kind of saying go with the flow.

[Burt Show Host]

Go with the flow. Go with the flow.

[Adam Grant]

Go with the flow.

[Burt Show Host]

Don't force him into anything. And good morning to trying to get Jackie on. Fallon, hang up. Put her on hold. Hey, Jackie. Was this Michelle?

[Caller or Guest]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Michelle.

[Caller or Guest]

Hey.

[Burt Show Host]

Go ahead. You're on with Jacob.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay.

Me and my partner, we just seem to argue a lot over real stupid stuff. And I just. I don't know what to do about it. It'll be over something as stupid as what kind of car just drove by us. And we'll just go at it and argue and it will turn into a huge argument, and I just don't know what to do about it.

[Adam Grant]

It.

[Birch Show Host]

Go with the flow.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. How long you been going out, Michelle?

[Caller or Guest]

For about a year.

[Burt Show Host]

About a year, Jacob. And speak up real loud for us, too. What should she do here? Everything just seems to end up in an argument with Michelle and her partner.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, if you're arguing a lot, then that's just kind of being kind of like the same and you want to kind of not have everybody saying the same thing and you want to be different. But if that's something like that minor, like a car, like how do you do that? I just don't get that. But I just. If you don't like that, then don't be with someone that you don't like.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

That sounds like really simple, great advice.

[Burt Show Host]

So, Michelle, if you're arguing over little itty bitty things like a car.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

I mean, like one night we were driving and, and we saw something in the woods and he said it was a fox, I said it was a dog. And then it just turned into an argument. Like, why are you always disagreeing with me? I don't understand you. And then old stuff gets brought up. Like old other simple arguments get brought up and it's like, I don't understand. And he gets really mad. He also has a temper problem and I just, I don't understand it. Like, like I refuse to argue with him. I try to stay calm and he keeps going on until it's like I react.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

I think Jacob already told you.

[Adam Grant]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

If you're with somebody you don't like, then don't be with somebody you don't like.

[Burt Show Host]

Is that your final advice there, Jacob?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah. And if you still want to stay with him, just call it a fox dog.

[Burt Show Host]

Now that's going with the flow right there. There blue.

[Caller or Guest]

And he says it's yellow. It's a blue and yellow card.

[Burt Show Host]

This guy's going to be married for 75 years. Jacob, hold on one second. Somebody else wants to be on the voice disguiser. Good morning, Jackie.

[Caller or Guest]

Hello. Good morning. I love y' all guys.

[Burt Show Host]

Thank you. You need advice from our 11 year old child psychologist?

[Caller or Guest]

Yes. I've been engaged for two years and I have chemistry with this friend. And is that normal to have chemistry with someone and absolutely be in love with someone else?

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so you are engaged, but you have a stronger chemistry with the best friend. Just so we can kind of like get a couple of more details. Is the best friend showing any interest in you?

[Caller or Guest]

And there's some innocent, like little flirting, like, do you mind if I kiss your fiance? You know, and then he's like, I'm just kidding. But I mean, I think there is. But when we don't see him for a while, it's like the feeling goes away. But then when we see him, it's like my stomach drops to my, you.

Know, my heart Drops to my stomach.

So I don't know if that's normal. Maybe it's cold feet. Maybe. I don't know. You know?

[Burt Show Host]

So when all three of you are together, you have stronger chemistry with your fiance's best friend than you do with your fiance.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

I want to see what he wants to say. Hold on one second.

[Adam Grant]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, Get Jacob back on. All right, Jacob, the scenario here is that we're gonna call her. Jackie is engaged, but she has more of a chemistry, and she's actually more attracted to her fiance's best friend than she is her fiance.

[Caller or Guest]

Well, then the one with the most chemistry, just go with. Because you don't want to be with somebody like, two years down the road, just like you don't like anymore. If you have better chemistry with somebody else, then maybe longer you'll be able to live with them and stuff.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so dump the fiance and go with the person that you feel more strongly about.

[Caller or Guest]

Yep.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay.

[Birch Show Host]

And then, hey, Jacob, what does she do when she's with this guy that, you know, she dumped the fiance for, but because they're all friends, like, a year from now, she's at a party and with the new guy, and the fiance walks out.

[Caller or Guest]

Then just. If he wants to get mad, just stay away from him. And if you just like, hey, what's up? Then. Then just do that, then.

[Birch Show Host]

It's a fox dog.

[Burt Show Host]

It's a fox dog. Yeah, we got. We got a bit of a fox dog on our hands. Caroline, you're going to be the last call here for Jacob, our child psychologist.

[Caller or Guest]

Okay, Go ahead. Hi, Jacob. Hello, Jacob. I'm in a relationship with this guy. We've been dating probably about two and a half years, and we started out as friends in a little group. I didn't pay him any attention. He approached me. There is one problem with me, but not necessarily. He says, with him, I'm 11 years older than he is, and lately we started out, like, having a really good relationship, and now he's kind of, like, pulled back. It's like he's with me, but he's not with me.

[Birch Show Host]

Maybe he's the first guy who called in. He's doing something in the office.

[Burt Show Host]

So what exactly is your question for Jacob?

[Caller or Guest]

My question is, should I just approach him and say, is there something wrong? Do you want to move on? Is the relationship over? Because I feel like he's distant. Well, I think that if, like I said before, if he doesn't want to be in something, don't make him. And if I think you should confront him and ask him about it. Because, I mean, if he doesn't want to be with you, then obviously that makes you not want to be with him because then he'll not like you and then you won't like him and there will be a whole huge thing.

True.

I like this little kid. He's almost like my seven year old niece. I call her for advice.

[Burt Show Host]

I mean, they cut right through it, telling you, look, if this guy doesn't. If he doesn't want to be in the relationship, then why do you want to be in the relationship is what Jacob said.

[Caller or Guest]

Exactly. I mean, because I'm a very attractive woman. I'm not being. I'm not being facetious, but I'm at the gym four times a week, so it's not like I just need him because of his age and that, but we were just really good friends. And so before we were lovers, we were friends.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

He gave advice. I mean, that's the thing about it. Adults will complicate. Like I think if this show has taught me anything is that puberty has made us stupid.

[Caller or Guest]

Thanks, Jacob.

[Burt Show Host]

You're welcome. All right, Caroline. See you, Jacob. Very solid advice again today, dude.

[Birch Show Host]

All right, well done.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. Thank you for coming on with us. Okay, bye. Talk to you later.

[Caller or Guest]

Bye.

[Burt Show Host]

Bye.

[Caller or Guest]

Bye.

[Burt Show Host]

The bird show.

[Adam Grant]

Do you Boost mobile promise to give customers Unlimited Wireless for $25 a month forever?

[Burt Show Host]

Yes, we do.

[Adam Grant]

Then customers may switch now at boost.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Mobile up to 30 gigabytes.

[Burt Show Host]

Come customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as.

[Adam Grant]

Long as they remain active on the.

[Burt Show Host]

Boost mobile unlimited plan.

[Birch Show Host]

Morning, Zoe.

[Burt Show Host]

Got donuts.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Burt Show Host]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T mobile commercial like you teach me. So, Dana.

[Burt Show Co-host or Guest]

Oh, no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera camera system.

[Burt Show Host]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice. Jeffrey, you heard them. T mobile is the best place to.

[Adam Grant]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on.

[Burt Show Host]

Us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch? Dude, my work here is done.

[Adam Grant]

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