The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)

Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, December 17 [Vault]
Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

This Bert Show Vault episode packs a morning's worth of lively, real-talk radio with the familiar warmth and banter of its crew. From dissecting a listener's peculiar first date fallout, to lightning-round stories of rapid remarriage post-divorce, to confessions of “grown-up grounding” in marriage, the show blends humor and authenticity while inviting listeners to reflect or simply escape their morning grind. Expect candid discussions, sharp-witted commentary, and memorable calls from the show’s community.

Main Segments and Key Insights

1. The First Date Mystery: Why Didn’t Tara Call Back?

(01:02 - 11:19)

Story Setup

• Alan reconnects with Tara, a former coworker, and they have what he describes as an amazing, extended first date (dinner, bar, late night with friends, a goodbye kiss).
• Alan is confused about why Tara went cold afterward and seeks closure.

On-Air Confrontation

• Host sets up a call between Alan and Tara for honest feedback, asking Alan to accept whatever is said for closure.
• Tara joins and explains her side:

Tara (05:11): "We did have a very good time, and Alan really is a very nice guy. But what happened was, well, we were at the restaurant and it was sort of like we got the star treatment... The manager came over with a bottle of wine... I thought that was, you know, it was nice... afterwards... every server... was making fun of us... because he had paid the manager to act friendly... I've never heard of anybody doing anything like that before... I was embarrassed. And also... what a weird person."

Alan’s Defense

• Alan admits visiting beforehand to arrange a nice table and good service ("make it a really cool date"), but denies instructing staff to pretend he was a VIP. He admits giving the manager "a little something" but says he just didn't want to be stuck waiting for a table.
• The cast debate whether Alan’s planning was sweet or “phony.”

Notable Quotes

• Tara (09:39): "If he doesn't think that he's enough, then, you know what I mean? I just... then maybe he's not enough."
• Alan (09:56): "The fact that she would do this and not call me back maybe means that she's not the person for me."
• Show Cast: Split between finding Alan’s effort thoughtful vs. off-putting, questioning if his intent or the manager’s actions deserve more scrutiny.
• Jen (08:15): "I think that him planning ahead for the date is something that we should be, like, proud of him for…"
• Host (08:30): "...if he goes in there and says... make me to be a bigger star than I am, then he's already lying about who he is. And all women want is honesty."

Resolution

• Tara has no interest in a second date; Alan, while disappointed, gets closure and the hosts jokingly promise to set him up with other women from their fan mail.

2. Lightning Round: Quickest Remarriage After Divorce

(14:08 - 19:01)

Prompt

• The hosts invite stories from listeners who remarried unusually fast after a divorce.

Memorable Calls & Responses

• Megan (14:24): “My father-in-law... three days [after the divorce was final].”
• Loretta (15:21): “My ex-husband … FedExed me the divorce papers... They got married the day they received the paper, same day.”
• April (16:29): "My stepfather... got his finalization... and drove my mother straight to the courthouse and got married."
  • They've been married 22 years.
• Anonymous (16:56): “My ex brother-in-law... 2:30 that evening.”
• Angela (17:45): “My mom and dad went to the courthouse, got divorced. His new wife was waiting outside... One hour later.”
  • "Black leather skirt with white pumps and white lace gloves like Madonna." (18:01)
• Melissa (18:24): “Within half an hour. We were... driving up to the courthouse, and it took a few minutes.”
  • “We’re still together. Eight years.”

Insights

• Divorce finalizations can be immediately followed by new marriages, sometimes with humorously memorable details.
• The cast reflects on societal expectations, the realities of romantic timing, and the varying outcomes of quick remarriage.

3. Adult Groundings (When Your Spouse Puts You on “Restriction”)

(19:01 - 27:54)

Theme

• Hosts discuss "grown-up grounding," instances where spouses put each other on “restriction” for mishaps—be it spending habits or household accidents.

Featured Callers

• Host's Story (19:40): Woman banned from the family computer by her husband after excessive eBay spending.
• Burt’s anecdote: Found evidence of his wife’s secret shopping after she claimed to stop.

Sherry’s Call

(21:17 - 27:33)

• Sherry confesses that after destroying her car’s engine (ignored oil warning light), her husband "grounded" her:

Sherry (22:41): "You're allowed to use the car, but only to go to the grocery store and to go to work."

• She justifies the restriction and admits to "deserving it," even sharing a previous “punishment” (silent treatment) for not getting a building permit.

Notable Exchanges

• Hosts question the fairness:
  • “Nobody should be putting anybody on any kind of restriction or a grown-up grounding. Or...” (20:56)
  • Jen (24:30): “You’re still an adult, you know.”
• Playful banter about adult punishments, ‘grown-up grounding’ as a concept, and gender roles.
• Caller’s admission: “He doesn’t really do much wrong, to be honest.” (27:10)

Reflection

• The segment triggers a debate on relationship dynamics, accountability in marriage, and old-fashioned (even problematic) gender norms—with plenty of humor and side commentary.

Notable Show Moments & Quotes

• Debate on Intentions vs. Perception
  • Jen defending Alan (08:15): “We always razz guys for not planning ahead enough... now here we have a guy who went ahead to the restaurant... I really think that it's nice.”
  • Host (08:30): “If he goes in there and says... make me to be a bigger star than I am, then he's already lying about who he is.”
• Quickest Remarriage Details:
  • “His new wife was waiting outside with her lace glove, black leather skirt and high white pumps...” (17:47)
  • “Within half an hour... we were driving up to the courthouse.” (18:24)
• Grown-Up Grounding:
  • “Hold on a second. Let me just make sure I'm clear on this. So he got the engine rebuilt, you’re allowed to use the car, but only to go to the grocery store and go to work.” (22:32)
  • “He doesn’t really do much wrong, to be honest.” (27:10)
  • “Thank you for bringing us back to 1947.” (22:56)

Segment Timestamps

• First Date Investigation: 01:03 – 11:19
• Rapid-Remarriage Call-In: 14:08 – 19:01
• “Grown-Up Grounding” Stories: 19:01 – 27:54

Summary & Takeaways

• Real-talk, humor, and vulnerability: The Bert Show keeps it lively, supportive, and at times sharply critical, treading both serious and silly ground.
• Community calls: Listener stories add a rich layer of authenticity and relatability, with the cast skillfully connecting with diverse experiences.
• Underlying questions:
  • What’s romantic vs. what’s phony in dating?
  • How fast is “too fast” to move on after divorce?
  • What’s a healthy way for adults to manage each other’s mistakes in marriage?

Listeners get a full spectrum of emotion—awkwardness, laughter, and the comfort of shared, imperfect human experience.