Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, December 31 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, December 31 [Vault]

Date: December 31, 2025
Host: Carol (with Dee Dee, multiple callers, and other cast members)
Podcast by: Pionaire Podcasting

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complexities and sometimes the darker side of friendships and love lives, focusing on relationship sabotage, jealousy among friends—especially among women—and the awkward world of post-breakup dating as a single parent. The Bert Show crew and their listeners candidly share opinions and real-life stories, leading to a lively conversation full of laughs, drama, and thought-provoking moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Are Women Their Own Worst Enemies in Relationships?

• Main Topic: The show opens with the question of whether women, particularly those who are single, intentionally or subconsciously sabotage their friends' relationships out of jealousy or loneliness.
• Listener Callers: Multiple stories and opinions flood in about friends who critique others' relationships harshly, sometimes rooting for their friend's unhappiness to lessen their own feelings of being left out or alone.

Notable Quotes:

• “A woman's worst enemy are other women.” – Carol (Host) [01:19]
• “She just wants her best friend, I guess now.” – Female Caller [03:03]
• “Misery loves company. I don't think it's necessarily just a woman thing. I think it's an anybody thing.” – Unidentified Male Caller 1 [05:05]

Interesting Exchange:

• The hosts debate whether guys do the same “sabotaging” as women. Differences between men’s and women’s approaches emerge, with men described as ribbing or joking, while women sometimes take active steps to undermine.

• “Here's a girl who's happy and things are going great. It's another woman's job to try to make herself an equal with that girl. And if that means breaking up a relationship, she will do it.” – Unidentified Male Caller 2 [05:47]

2. Extreme ‘Sabotage’ Stories: Is This Really About Friendship?

Wild Caller Story:

A female caller shares an intense confession about sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend purely to expose him as a cheater—without ever revealing this to her friend.

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• “You had sex with your friend's boyfriend just to prove to her how bad a guy he was?” – Carol (Host) [08:44]
  • “Yeah... She's my best friend. Today you were saving her.” – Female Caller [08:50]
• “As you were screwing your best friend's boyfriend, you were thinking about how much you care about her. Right.” – Dee Dee [10:07]
• “Let me tell you, this was at a different time, too. This was a zillion years ago... I'm sorry. I don't regret it at all.” – Female Caller [11:30]

Callers React:

• Listeners express shock and condemnation, highlighting better alternatives and emphasizing how some lines shouldn't be crossed, no matter the intention.

• “I think the fact that she would sleep with her best friend's man says way more about her than it ever says about the guy. ... She needs to go to her friend and confess what she has done and try to make this thing right.” – Caller Keisha [14:50]

• Dee Dee directly challenges the caller’s motives and honesty, suggesting selfish intent:
  “I think she wanted her best friend's boyfriend and she had him.” – Dee Dee [15:54]

3. The Single Mom Dating Dilemma

Listener Story:

A single mom shares her struggles re-entering the dating world:

• Meets a guy at a bar, he calls, makes a date, then stands her up.
• Gives him a second chance when meeting again; after inviting him over for movies (with son away), he leaves abruptly when it's clear she won’t have sex, disappearing without a word.

Notable Quotes:

• “He never came back.” – Female Caller [21:21]
• “It will never get better in a relationship than the first couple of weeks... If a guy doesn't call you back, doesn't have the respect for you to even just spend five seconds on the phone and say... I can't make it tonight... end the relationship.” – Carol (Host) [23:19]
• “You’re vulnerable. I mean, he blew you off and he didn't call you back, yet here you are still hanging out with him in a bar.” – Carol (Host) [25:13]

Advice & Analysis:

• Hosts and callers urge: Be pickier, especially when kids are involved. If someone treats you poorly early, it won't get better.
• Single mothers’ perspective: Caller Betty highlights safety and self-respect for single parents:
  “You need to be a bit more picky because I'm a single mother myself, and I can't have any guy who I'm not comfortable with around my child up until we get to the point where we have established some sort of commitment.” [27:28]

4. Broader Lessons

• Recognizing Red Flags:
  Both segments stress the importance of seeing people for who they are early in a relationship, rather than making excuses or taking mistreatment personally.

• Patterns of Self-Justification:
  Both with friends and in dating, the conversation exposes how people often rationalize or minimize actions that are ultimately self-serving or damaging to others.

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Notable Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic Highlights | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:19-03:24 | Opening debate: Do women sabotage each other's relationships out of jealousy or bitterness? | | 03:54-06:22 | Hosts and callers discuss the difference between male and female approaches to sabotage | | 08:03-11:41 | Shocking caller story: “I slept with my best friend's boyfriend to show she could do better”| | 14:50-16:38 | Callers react to the story, heated commentary on loyalty and honesty in friendship | | 18:37-21:14 | Single mom describes being stood up, then ghosted after refusing sex | | 23:19-26:06 | Hosts and callers give frank advice about self-respect, repeat behavior warning signs | | 27:24-29:12 | Caller Betty gives perspective on single moms dating and child safety | | 30:01-31:08 | Show wraps with reflection: Actions speak louder than words in early relationships |

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Memorable Quotes

"A woman's worst enemy are other women."
– Carol (Host) [01:19]

"Misery loves company... I don't think it's necessarily just a woman thing."
– Unidentified Male Caller 1 [05:05]

"You had sex with your friend's boyfriend just to prove to her how bad a guy he was?"
– Carol (Host) [08:44]

"That is the most... despicable thing I have ever heard tell of. And she needs to go to her friend and confess what she has done."
– Keisha (Caller) [14:50]

"It will never get better... than the first couple of weeks, first couple of months of you dating."
– Carol (Host) [23:19]

"You don't know who he is. You don't know what he's about. God forbid he was some sort of lunatic..."
– Caller Betty [27:28]

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Tone & Style

The episode is candid, sometimes harsh but always engaging. The hosts keep a real and humorous tone, even when addressing sensitive or shocking situations. Listener stories add drama and authenticity, prompting open discussion and blunt advice.

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Takeaways

• Jealousy and Insecurity: These can result in “sabotage” between friends, though intentions are often debated.
• Friendship Boundaries: There are lines not to be crossed, regardless of motivation; "helping" a friend doesn't justify betrayal.
• Early Red Flags: Disrespectful behavior early in dating is a reliable predictor—it doesn't improve with time.
• Self-Respect: Particularly for single parents, setting boundaries is crucial both for personal well-being and children's safety.
• Honest Advice: Sometimes the truth stings, but open dialogue can help listeners make better choices.

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Listeners looking for honest, unfiltered takes on today’s relational issues—served up with wit and occasional disbelief—will find this episode a must-listen.

Transcript

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[Carol]

The Birch show this may be another great example. And Melissa said this time and time again that a woman's worst enemy are other women.

[Dee Dee]

Yeah, women are their own worst enemy. Absolutely.

[Carol]

Producer Tracy may be able to back you up on this.

[Caller 1]

I have a good friend of mine that has been coming to me lately for more and more advice. You know, like all of a sudden I'm her new best friend. And that's because recently, well, not even so much recently, she's been dating a guy for a while and she was going to her real best friend, you know, an even better friend to her than I am for, you know, just talking about your typical, you know, guy problems, you know, little problems that come up in relationships. Well, she can't go to this girl anymore because she's realized every time she approaches this girl, the girl blows the problems way out of proportion and tries to convince this girl that he's just not. He doesn't love you, he doesn't respect you. You're in the wrong relationship. And I know this guy and he's great. Like he could. You couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. And she thinks it's because her best friend is a little Bitter and upset that she really hasn't ever had a boyfriend, therefore wants her to be alone, too.

[Caller 2]

So her best friend's really sabotaging her relationship.

[Caller 1]

Exactly.

[Caller 2]

Because she wants her to be alone and lonely.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Carol]

Do women do this? I mean, do a little soul searching here. Do you guys know women or have you done this before? That it just makes you feel a lot better about being single if your friends are single. Also that you're not completely happy if your friends are really happy.

[Dee Dee]

Well, I'm wondering if it's a conscious thing. I have never tried to sabotage a friend's relationship if I'm not in one. But I do know friends. And one of the question I have for Tracy, I do know friends that will avoid certain friends who are single with relationship questions because they know of the negative response they're gonna get because they have the same sen. Has she always. Like you said, this best friend has never been really in a relationship.

[Caller 1]

She's never really been. I mean, she's maybe dated a couple guys here and there. She's just not the type of girl that has any luck with relationships. And she's always kind of been a little bitter about it. And. Yeah. So she's just giving this girl awful advice and trying to convince her that she's dating this horrible guy because she wants her friend to be alone, too. Like, doesn't. Yeah, Just wants her best friend, I guess now.

[Dee Dee]

Yeah. I don't know if it's conscious. I just also wonder if you have to choose people who can relate to you more than others. You know, like, if.

[Carol]

Why go to somebody?

[Dee Dee]

Like, if her. If her experience with men is all negative, then she's going to see this friend's boyfriend's, you know, signs as being worse than they really are because her experience is that way. Does that make sense?

[Carol]

Yeah, it does. But I can also see the part of this where if you really did some soul searching on the whole thing, that. Where there could be some people that are. Don't want their friends to be completely 100% happy because they're not 100% happy. Absolutely.

[Caller 2]

I think that. Yeah, I think that it depends on, like, whether she's doing it maliciously or not. Because I have had a friend who has told me she's one of my single friends from college, and she's told me she's like, you know what? It is really, really hard to be happy for every single one of our girlfriends from college, getting engaged, getting married, doing all that stuff. So she's admitted to me before, like, yeah, I'm happy for you guys, but at the same time, it. It kind of stinks to be sitting here, and all we talk about are weddings and marriages and all that kind of stuff, and I haven't found anybody yet. Yeah.

[Carol]

404-741-1005 hey, re.

[Caller 3]

Hey, Bert. I just wanted to say I had a girlfriend that was single, and I always had a boyfriend or whatnot, and she would always have something horrible to say about them and always try to get me to go out with her and party and say that I could find someone better. You know, when people are unhappy with themselves, they just try to make everybody else unhappy around them. And, you know, it just sucks because women are very, very conniving, and they do try to get what they want, and especially if it's a best friend, they. They do want to make you single with them, and they want somebody to party with them, and they don't care if it is a good man or not.

[Caller 2]

Well, I think it goes back to that old saying, misery loves company. I don't think it's necessarily just a woman thing. I think it's an anybody thing. You know, I think misery loves company.

[Dee Dee]

My question is, guys. I mean, now you talk. You know, guys give you other guys a hard time when they start getting in a committed relationship because you want your boy back. You want. You want to hang out with your boy. You can. You honestly can tell me that a guy's never sabotaged his friend's relationship just to have him single with him again?

[Carol]

I would not. If it's a good relationship, like, if we told. I think it's different for guys. Like, I just don't think we think as complicated as you guys do. I really don't.

[Caller 4]

I totally think it's women, because, I mean, women, again, at some point, it will have to be accepted that women operate differently than men.

[Dee Dee]

Agreed.

[Caller 4]

And the way that, you know, you guys wrap your minds around everything, it becomes everything with women is a competition. And so here's the deal. Here's a girl who's happy and things are going great. It's another woman's job to try to make herself an equal with that girl. And if that means breaking up a relationship, she will do it.

[Carol]

Strong words, Melissa Carter.

[Dee Dee]

Well, I agree with what's Jeff's saying about women, but I don't think men are immune to that. I think you talk about women are competitive with each other, so are men. And I have really hardly known a man that is upfront supportive of his buddy with a New girlfriend until he's just beat down to where he realizes this woman.

[Carol]

Disagree. Disagree.

[Dee Dee]

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

[Carol]

Not true at all.

[Caller 1]

I think guys, though, are different. Like, I think they try and convince their buddy. Think how much fun you'd be having if you weren't in a relationship. You need to be fun and crazy again. Whereas this girl, specifically going out of her way to paint the picture of this guy's being a horrible person. Not.

[Caller 4]

The guys are doing it in the nature of ribbing. Like, they're not trying to destroy a relationship or get their boy back. Like, they're doing it because that's what guys are supposed to do. Oh, you're gonna get married, huh? The old ball and chain. Whatever. It's what. That's what we're supposed to do, but it's not.

[Dee Dee]

You want us to soul search and. Yeah, come on, now. I've heard you tell guys who are younger, well, you don't need to be, you know, you need to be out having fun.

[Caller 2]

You should be reaping the benefits of radio right now.

[Dee Dee]

Dude.

[Caller 2]

It's so great. You should be, like, getting all the chicks from radio.

[Commercial Announcer]

This is the time for you to tag it.

[Caller 2]

I have sat here and watched him.

[Caller 4]

Hold on. That is not him trying to be competitive with Phil.

[Carol]

Right.

[Dee Dee]

But it's still sabotaging something he's involved in.

[Carol]

The difference here is that the difference here is that what you guys do to each other is to make you feel better about your own situation. Whereas with. If I'm talking to Phil and I'm like, dude, look what you have here. I mean, you're on the.

[Dee Dee]

Still sabotaging a relationship. But I give. I get your point.

[Carol]

But it's not because I'm not invested in it. I'm not doing it because I want to feel better that I'm married. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller 1]

And Bert doesn't really have a goal in his mind to break Phil up with Mary Kay. Like, he's just giving him a hard time. Whereas this girl specifically wants her best friend to break up with the guy.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, but you just can't say. You can't say, though. It's just. Well, I just don't think we think about it as much as you guys.

[Carol]

I don't think we do.

[Caller 4]

We don't.

[Carol]

I don't think we do. Hey, DeeDee.

[Dee Dee]

Good morning. Hi.

[Commercial Announcer]

Go ahead.

[Caller 3]

Hi. I don't think that all women are out to make sure that their friends end up alone. I had my best friend hooked up With a guy who I could clearly see was a loser. And she couldn't because she was so into him at the time. And the only way I could figure out to get her to see that he was a loser because I watched him hit on other women when he was with her was to go ahead and hit on him myself. And I knew that if I took him to bed and he went and would tell her that I had done it.

[Caller 2]

No way.

[Caller 3]

It was. It's exactly what happened. I screwed the guy.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, come on.

[Caller 3]

And then he went to her, he started out, and I said, I've known you for seven years, and you're gonna believe this guy that you've known for six years?

[Carol]

So wait a second, Deedee, you're saying you had sex with your friend's boyfriend just to prove to her how bad a guy he was?

[Caller 3]

Yeah. She had had a miserable first marriage at a very young age and was very vulnerable, and I didn't. I just didn't care. She's my best friend. She's my best friend. Today you were saving her.

[Commercial Announcer]

Are you kidding?

[Dee Dee]

Slept with your boyfriend and she's your best. Okay, come on.

[Caller 4]

I guess that's. I guess that's kind of jumping on the grenade.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, whatever.

[Commercial Announcer]

Well, and then.

[Caller 3]

And then the guy knew the thing. The guy knew that I was going to rat him out, but. And he thought he could still win her because he really thought that he was just the most amazing man on the face of the planet. And when I ended up seeing him after she had split up with him about six weeks later, in another scenario with a couple of women by his side, I just waved from across the room. So when you waved from across the.

[Carol]

Room, when you told your friend that you slept with her boyfriend and you told her the whole.

[Caller 3]

No, no, no. I did not tell her that I slept with him.

[Dee Dee]

So she doesn't know? Of course not. That's why she's still your best friend, because she didn't realize you stabbed her in the back.

[Caller 3]

She doesn't know.

[Carol]

So what is it you think you did to help her out?

[Caller 3]

Got rid of the loser.

[Carol]

But she never knew that.

[Dee Dee]

I think that. No. See, the only time. One of the things I thought, the only time I've ever sabotaged someone else or getting into a relationship is if I wanted somebody within those two. Like I was sabotaging for selfish reasons. And you did the same thing.

[Caller 3]

Well, yeah, because I cared about her.

[Dee Dee]

As you were. As you were screwing your best friend's boyfriend, you were thinking about how much you Care about. Right.

[Caller 4]

And you know what?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, he was a loser. It was the best thing that I could have ever done. I have no regret. Of course.

[Dee Dee]

Because you had sex with him, right?

[Christy]

You know what?

[Caller 4]

And you think the funny, like, you think that with this guy. Like, you gave him that wave from across the room and ooh, yeah, you got him.

[Caller 3]

Oh, he was pissed.

[Caller 4]

Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

How about we call your friend and.

[Dee Dee]

Tell her what you did to save her because you care so much about her?

[Caller 3]

Well, you know, it's been 20 years, but, you know, I don't know. I mean, she's pretty happy right now.

[Caller 2]

I'm confused. How did she break up with him if you never told her? Like, I thought sleeping with him was going to be your point to say, see, he would even be with me.

[Caller 3]

He went to her and said, your best friend hit on me. Your best friend hit on me. And I slept with her. And she came to me and said, I cannot believe that you would do this to me. I cannot believe it. I said, I can't believe it either. I can't believe you believe this guy, who you've only known six weeks, and you've known me for years, but you was gone. So she lied about him the next day.

[Carol]

So wait a second. Did you ever come clean and say, with her. Yeah. So she. She, to this day, doesn't know that you slept with her, even though he said yes. And you said, you're gonna believe this guy over me?

[Caller 3]

Right.

[Carol]

And he was telling the truth.

[Caller 3]

This was a really. This was a horrible person, this guy. I'm not kidding.

[Carol]

You don't sound like such a great person either.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

Hey, let me tell you, this was at a different time, too. This was a zillion years ago where people's attitudes about taking a hit for somebody else was no big deal. So I'm sorry. I don't regret it at all.

[Carol]

Well, it obviously was a big deal because she broke up with the gu.

[Caller 3]

Yes, she did. It was the greatest thing she did.

[Carol]

But what you're saying is you were living in a time when it wasn't a big deal, and in another breath, you're saying they broke up.

[Caller 3]

No, I'm just saying that at that time, you know, people were. You know, the attitudes about sleeping with people on the first date or wherever. She got seduced by the guy, and he was a really creepy, bad person.

[Carol]

Katherine, go ahead. You're on with Dee Dee.

[Caller 3]

Hey, first of all, that last person was just messed up. Secondly, the former best friend, whatever that's trying to break Up. This girl, she needs to get a relationship coach, you know, like in the movie Hitch.

[Christy]

Right.

[Caller 3]

You know, and change the way that she's looking at relationships. And there was just a story on CBS 46 on Sunday night, and there's this local relationship coach who has this class called Solo to Soulmate. And, I mean, basically just give it to her as a gift. It's like, here. You know, I know that you're unhappy. I know that you're trying to, you know, it makes me, you know, upset that you're doing this about my relationship. So let's work on you and your relationships, and let's get you a guy.

[Carol]

So, Dee Dee, if you were giving the same advice to Tracy, you would say, go ahead, sleep with the guy and make her realize how bad a guy he is.

[Caller 3]

Now, I must admit that there was a lot more emotional stuff involved at the time. And it. I still do believe that it was the right thing to do. I haven't regretted it. This was an evil, bad person. Did I go about it the right way? Maybe not. But at the time, it seemed like the only thing I could do, and I'm willing to do that.

[Dee Dee]

You wanted him to do it.

[Caller 2]

If he.

[Christy]

If he.

[Dee Dee]

An evil, bad person I don't want.

[Caller 3]

To go sleep with would make her see that this guy was a bad person.

[Dee Dee]

You're so.

[Christy]

Wow.

[Caller 3]

I mean, I don't. You know, I've never. It's. It's just not something that I've ever done since. It's not something I had ever done before. Can I ask you a person I had known what she had been through in her life. Maybe I, you know, I stepped into it too far. But I don't regret it. I really don't. Her life is. Is very happy at this time, and so is mine.

[Caller 4]

Can I ask you a question?

[Caller 3]

Sure.

[Caller 4]

Like, why could. Why did you have to sleep with him? Why couldn't you have just hit on him? And then when she. He went to her and said, your best friend hit on me. Couldn't you have gotten the same results?

[Caller 3]

I. I'm not sure. I. It was an emotional time. I reacted quickly.

[Caller 4]

I think she's.

[Carol]

There's no part of you at all. There's no part of you at all that wanted him?

[Commercial Announcer]

Yes.

[Caller 3]

Well, I know I can't say that there was any part of me that wanted me other than that me wanted him gone.

[Dee Dee]

No, you said there's an emotional time. You mean you had. You wanted him?

[Commercial Announcer]

You wanted your best friend?

[Caller 3]

I cared a lot for her. I love her to this day, and I just did not want her to be stuck with somebody that was horrible like that.

[Carol]

Chris wants to call BS on you. Hey, Chris. Yeah, hey, what's up?

[Caller 3]

Hello. I'm calling B.S. oh, hello.

[Carol]

Yeah, you're still here. Deedee, Chris is on with you. Go ahead, Chris.

[Caller 3]

Yes, Dee Dee, I'm definitely calling BS on your story because if. If you couldn't stand the guy as much as you say you did, how could you stomach sleeping with him? Well, it was. It was simply a, you know, it was quickie, honey. It wasn't anything long lasting and it.

[Caller 4]

Was a different time.

[Caller 3]

I'm sure you've never had that happen.

[Carol]

Keisha, go ahead.

[Caller 3]

Hi. I just. I'm not even sure that's a comment about first, in all honesty. But seriously, I think the fact that she would sleep with her best friend's man says way more about her than it ever says about the guy. Right. And I think that there are ways that you can get across to your girlfriend that she needs to rethink her relationship without compromising yourself. Because in the end, you and your girlfriends are probably all that you're going to have until one or the both of you meet somebody that's decent and about something. That is the most disappointment, despicable thing I have ever heard tell of. And she needs to go to her friend and confess what she has done and try to make this thing right. I can't believe she could hold that in that long.

[Carol]

Dede, what do you say to that?

[Caller 3]

I don't feel bad about it. That's why I don't have any remorse about holding it in. It was the right thing to do at the time.

[Caller 4]

Well, then you should have no problem.

[Commercial Announcer]

And I can still believe it, you.

[Caller 4]

Should have no problem telling your friend then.

[Caller 3]

Why would I do that? She's happily married. She has children. This is 20 year old news.

[Carol]

Right?

[Caller 4]

But.

[Dee Dee]

Yeah, exactly right. That's why it wouldn't be a big deal to tell her.

[Caller 4]

I think she. I'm with Chris. I think Dede's full of it.

[Carol]

No, she sounds honest to me.

[Dee Dee]

I just think what I think is her intention was. I call BS on her intention. I think she wanted her best friend's boyfriend and she had him.

[Caller 2]

I'm just confused on how that was the logic in the situation. Like, I guess you had to be in the situation or you said it was an emotional time. But I don't think if I wanted my best friend to break up with her guy that I would concoct that kind of a soap opera ish playing.

[Caller 3]

Honestly, Honestly, if you the scenario was very complex.

[Carol]

Well, you didn't make it any easier.

[Caller 3]

It was in a difficult scenario, had been in one. And you're right, a lot of thought didn't go into it. I was young, but I'm not sorry that I did it. I I believe it and I stand by it.

[Dee Dee]

Yeah, I I think that when you want to be right, you will justify anything and create the soap opera in your mind to make it.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, especially when you're young.

[Carol]

The second tier of the whole thing too, where he goes and he confesses to the girlfriend and then you say, well, who are you gonna believe, me or your boyfriend? And he was telling the truth, right?

[Caller 3]

Yeah. He was gone the next day. It worked out really great.

[Caller 2]

So I oh my God. Stories like that make me feel so normal.

[Dee Dee]

Well, I'm so glad that she ended up coming up and representing women in the Conniving Women. Thank you so much, Dee Dee, for that.

[Caller 4]

Well, so I think what we've heard, Tracy, is you need to get your friend a box of condoms and an overnight bag. Apparently then she will take care of all the problems. The Burt Show Foreign.

[Christy]

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[Carol]

Hey Carol.

[Caller 3]

Hey. Good Morning. How are you?

[Carol]

Good. How are you today?

[Caller 3]

Good, thanks.

[Carol]

I detail for everybody what you wrote in that email.

[Caller 3]

Okay, well, basically it started a couple months ago. I went to this bar that I go to about once a month and towards the end of the night I met this guy and we had about five minutes until the bar closed. So I gave him my number and he called me the next day. We talked for about an hour about like job, you know, personal stuff.

[Caller 2]

So that's a good sign that you gave him the number. He called the next day.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

That's good. There was no three day waiting period or whatever.

[Caller 3]

Exactly.

[Caller 2]

Right.

[Caller 3]

So he told me to call him in two days. So I called him. It was like that Tuesday. I talked to him for a minute and then he said that he was going to come over the next day and we watch a movie. So I was like, all right. And he told me he'd be over around six. So when I was thinking about it that day, I was like, well, you know, he really needs to come over later because I have to put my son to bed. So I call his cell phone and it's not turned on, it's off.

[Carol]

It just rings and rings and rings. Or it goes to voicemail.

[Caller 3]

It didn't even ring, it went straight to voicemail. Okay, So I leave him a message not thinking anything of it. So needless to say, he never came over and he never called me again. So basically last weekend before last, I went to the same place, I'm walking through to go see some friends of mine and this guy pulls me to the side and I was like, hey, how are you? And he goes, hey, do you remember me? And I was like, you look familiar. But, you know, no, not really. He's like, I'm so and so I'm like, oh, you're the guy that stood me up, you know. And he's like, yeah, I'm so sorry, I apologize. I've just been really, really busy. You know, you look really good tonight, blah, blah, blah. So he's like, I'm gonna go take my friends home and I'll come back and hang out with you. So he takes his friends home and he comes back and we hang out, we talked for a while, and it was towards the end of the night again, and he asked me if I wanted to ride home. I said, yeah. So I left my car there, he took me home, he asked me what movie I wanted to watch. We put in a movie, watched just about the whole thing and we fooled around a little bit. Of course and then he had asked me if I wanted to go all the way, and I told him no. And he goes, that's fine. I can wait. So I was like, all right, you know, this guy's a really nice guy. And then the movie's over, he asked me to pick out another one and go ahead and put it in. So I do. And he's like, I'm gonna go out to my car and get my car charger for my cell phone. I'll be right back. He never came back.

[Caller 2]

So after you said you weren't going to go all the way, then he went to his car and left.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Never saying goodbye.

[Caller 3]

Never saying goodbye.

[Carol]

What a moron. What a moron. Legally, can we give this guy's first name and last name out?

[Caller 4]

I don't know.

[Carol]

I just love to call a guy like this out. Well, first of all, I say the first time, okay, when he stood you up at that point, I don't know why you just. Because you stand me up, it's over. That's it. No call, no nothing. I'm too busy even to leave you a voicemail message saying, I can't make it tonight.

[Commercial Announcer]

Jerk.

[Carol]

No way. That's it. Never even a second try.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, but see, me, like, I'm really nice to people, and y' all looked really good.

[Dee Dee]

I mean, really nice to people. I mean, all aside, you. You had the hots from that second night, and you thought, why not? Right?

[Caller 3]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Carol]

Well, if you thought why not? Then when he said, you know, let's go all the way, why don't you just. I mean, because you. He. It sounds like you invited him over only because he was hot.

[Caller 3]

Not only because. I mean, keep in mind, we had talked before, and we had really good conversations.

[Caller 4]

But he blew you off before.

[Caller 3]

I know, but I believed him. I thought he was really busy.

[Caller 4]

Don't believe guys.

[Dee Dee]

Carol, I want to ask a question, and I'm not, You know, I'm not a mother. I'm just curious. As a single mother, I would think that you would even be more picky about the men you bring into your home. You know, and to me, I feel as though if I was a single mom and a guy stood me up, and knowing that he stood me up after I left a message about having to put my child to bed.

[Carol]

Yes.

[Dee Dee]

Then I.

[Caller 2]

He.

[Dee Dee]

He's gone, you know, so.

[Caller 3]

I mean, that weekend that he came over, my son wasn't even there. I had somebody else watch him.

[Dee Dee]

Well, I mean, regardless of that, I'm just saying, as a Single mom, is it not?

[Caller 3]

Right?

[Dee Dee]

I guess you're not more picky than you, you know, necessarily.

[Caller 3]

I mean, this is the first guy that I've seen since I've been single. I mean, I just got out of a three year relationship. This is all new to me, you know, I'm living by myself with my son. It gets lonely, you know, it's hard.

[Carol]

Yeah, I understand that. I do understand that. But know this also. Let me give the phone number out. People are Starting to call 404-741-1005 that it will never get better in a relationship than the first couple of weeks, first couple of months of you dating. So if a guy doesn't call you back, doesn't have the respect for you to even just spend five seconds on the phone and say, hey, I can't really talk right now, I'm busy. I'm so sorry I can't make it tonight, but let's do something in a couple of weeks. If he doesn't show you that kind of respect, women end the relationship. This is not a guy you want to be with. Unless there was a death in his family and he had to take off to California, end the relationship, it never gonna get any better than that. So when you let him into your house and he blew you off the way he did, even though it dude's a total tool, it doesn't shock me. He showed you in the first hour, or I should say after that conversation, he showed you what he was all about the very first time he tried to make communication with you. He showed you.

[Caller 3]

Why would he even talk to me a second time if there were tons of other girls trying to get the point?

[Dee Dee]

Because he's trying to get laid.

[Carol]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

That'S what motivates men. Yeah. Sex is, is their ultimate motivator.

[Carol]

Now, you shouldn't even have to ask why. I mean, once you said to him, once you said to him, look, we're not going to have sex tonight. And then he left and never called you back. Did you think in your mind, okay, maybe he was just in it for the sex?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I knew that at that point. But my thing is like, why pick me for the second time? There are other girls there with the, you know, the short skirts and the high boots, you know, and he could have had any of those other girls, but yet he wanted to talk to me again.

[Dee Dee]

Because you looked hot and he showed interest before and you were easier to get to than the other women.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I mean, I could be.

[Carol]

He saw you as soft.

[Caller 2]

You're Vulnerable.

[Carol]

Yeah, you're vulnerable. I mean, he blew you off and he didn't call you back, yet here you are still hanging out with him in a bar, talking to him. So he's thinking, this is a woman I can take advantage of.

[Dee Dee]

And you waited until he took his friends home and came back. So of course he knew it was an end.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, well, and the other thing is, though, I want to know about advice for her, because, like, she was saying how she's a single mom, she's doing a lot to raise her kid by herself, but it does get lonely, and she does want some action here and there, and it doesn't have to be Prince Charming every single time. She needs a little love and every. You know what I'm saying? Like, what advice would you give to her on that sort of thing? Like, on lowering her expectation to me?

[Dee Dee]

Like, if a woman. If, you know, if you're honest with yourself and, you know, I'm going out to have sex tonight, then that's it. I mean, there's a lot of single moms that will do that. And then it has nothing to do with finding a father like a lot of guys think women are doing. But she wasn't doing that. She's thinking way too much about this guy, and she turned him down when he came over.

[Carol]

Yeah, I think you're talking about two different things. Like, if her intention was just to go out and have sex, make sure the child is somewhere else, bring the dude home, have fun, do what you gotta do, and see you later, and then see you later. But she's all hurt that he just blew her off two different times.

[Caller 2]

So it's about her kind of changing her expectations for filling that lonely void. Because I think you're trying to fill. Fill the lonely void with having somebody, you know, to mess around with and play around with. But then at the same time, you're expecting them to be Prince Charming.

[Caller 3]

Right. And that is true. Like, I don't want a relationship, but then I'm not going to sleep with the first guy that I meet on first night, no matter what I want from him. You know, that's just not me.

[Carol]

So is it true, Crash? Do you think it is true that when you meet single moms that the impression. The stereotypical impression a guy would have is like, this is an easy target, because, you know, she wants to be in a relationship?

[Caller 4]

I think it's kind of like twofold, really. I mean, first of all, as if you were a single guy, guys tend to put up a little bit of a barrier. They're gonna be a little bit more cautious when you're approaching a single mom because you've got that factor of the child. But I don't think they're, like, easy pickings or anything. I think, if anything, they're gonna be a little bit more on their guard, too, because that's why. That's the way they're perceived. They're perceived as fish in a barrel, you know, like, oh, you're gonna get the milfs and the moms. They're easy because they're desperate. I would think they would think the opposite.

[Carol]

Good morning, Betty.

[Caller 3]

Good morning.

[Carol]

Hi.

[Caller 3]

How are you doing?

[Carol]

Good. You're on with Carol.

[Caller 3]

Hey, Carol. My thing is, I think you need to be a bit more picky because I'm a single mother myself, and I can't have any guy who I'm not comfortable with around my child up until we get to the point where we have established some sort of commitment for one another. So you need to be a bit more picky as to who you bring into your home, because although your son wasn't at home at the time, you don't know this guy from a can of worms. I mean, you don't know who he is. You don't know what he's about. God forbid he was some sort of lunatic that, you know, could always come back and try to harm you and your child. I mean, I know I'm taking it to, you know, to an extent, but you got to. Sometimes you got to think that way, especially when you have a child involved.

[Carol]

Thanks, Betty. And I've said this a million times when it comes to dating, forget about the words. Forget about what he says in the bar. He showed you what he was all about. And that speaks volumes way more than the words. The dude didn't call you back, right? He blew you off. He stood you up.

[Dee Dee]

And, Carol, I think that, you know, maybe it's just like Jen was, you know, talking about earlier, just a naivety. Because you have to remember, you said in the first time you met this guy, you gave him your number four, five minutes before the bar closed. Okay?

[Caller 4]

So, I mean, that's when great relationships are born. That's a scenario before the lights come on.

[Dee Dee]

Exactly. That's a scenario of there's only one thing on both of your minds. You know what? It's the end of the evening, you're getting together. And the fact that you had told him you got to put your child to bed gave him the idea that, well, he's not going to get that tonight. So he just blew you off. So I think you just need to understand what's going on in the dating scene and what different scenarios mean.

[Caller 3]

Right, right. That's true. I mean, I should have paid more attention to it. I'm really friendly and I get along with everybody.

[Carol]

And the thing is, that's nice.

[Dee Dee]

And my thing is, okay, so you see him the second time and he approaches you again. I mean, it's fine to go back to him, but understand what you're going back to him for. You know, I mean, like, you're. You're way emotionalizing this when it's just a matter of he was trying to get some he couldn't get and he left.

[Carol]

That's right. I've never heard of a guy being that rude before.

[Dee Dee]

Right.

[Caller 2]

I mean, yeah.

[Carol]

I mean, after the first take, away.

[Caller 2]

From the fact that he was a real jerk.

[Carol]

Total jerk. He was totally rude twice. I mean, after that first movie, when it was established, look, this isn't gonna happen. He probably, you know, should have said, all right, thanks so much. I appreciate the movie. Thanks. And do what we normally do. I'll give you a call and then never call back.

[Caller 2]

Agree.

[Dee Dee]

But she's taking it personally, you know?

[Carol]

Yeah. This has nothing to do with you.

[Dee Dee]

But she's taking it too personally. Like, he's a jerk.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

All right, Carol, good luck. I know it's hard. I know it's got to be really.

[Caller 4]

Hard because her just has the sign of a beat down, dad. All right.

[Christy]

I just.

[Carol]

You know what? It's just we take these calls day in and day out and day in from both men and women. And we constantly show each other what we're all about. We are constantly showing you. But we don't. We do see it, but we choose not to acknowledge it. I mean, we won't. We wouldn't have a show if people took this advice. But the truth is, this guy showed you what he was made of the very first time he didn't call and he stood you up. He showed no respect.

[Caller 3]

Right.

[Carol]

And I think you could say this in a lot of different relationships. We'll show you right off the bat what we're all about.

[Dee Dee]

And I think Bert made a great point. And, Carol, I don't think this is a scenario that's just unique to single moms, because guys are jerks to single women who were. Who aren't parents. And. And I think Bert's point of we, you know, people put their best foot forward at the very beginning, you know, especially if they're interested in somebody, they're going to show you their best first. And then the more you get to know them, then the worst comes out. And so, yeah, if he's a jerk like Bert said In the first five.

[Carol]

10 minutes, it's not going to get any better than.

[Dee Dee]

It's not going to get any better.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carol]

He's going to end up on cops. If this is the way he treats you the first 24 hours, then that's your future. Cops. All right, Carol.

[Caller 3]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

Good luck, sweetie.

[Carol]

Bye. Bye. The Birch show.

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[Carol]

You are fearless.

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