The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, January 14 [Vault]

Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Bert, with Kristin, Jen, Melissa, Jeff, and guest Dr. TyE
Podcast: The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting)

Overview

This episode embodies The Bert Show’s signature blend of humor, authenticity, and genuine conversation. The cast dives into listener stories, relationship quandaries, dramatic personal tales, and playful in-studio challenges. The main themes include an epic marriage proposal story, tough-love relationship advice with Dr. TyE, and a live experiment to answer whether men or women have a higher pain tolerance. The fun, open dynamic and real talk make it both engaging and relatable.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. A Proposal Story for the Ages

[05:00 – 33:30]
Bert and the team feature Matt’s meticulously planned proposal to his girlfriend Stacy—complete with secret-keeping, family flown in, a poetic engraved stone, rain-induced improvisation, and a huge celebratory surprise. It sets a high bar for romance!

Key Story Points:

• Planning & Tradition: Matt wanted a commitment before moving in together, so he secretly sought her parents’ blessing and coordinated with friends and family. "I've told, you know, 1,700 lies for that weekend to make sure she keeps it open." (Matt, 12:10)
• Logistical Comedy: Rain threatened the outdoor garden event. Matt had to “lie again,” improvising a story about a private chef and dinner at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens.
• The Engraved Rock: Instead of a standard proposal, Matt hid an engraved rock with a custom poem:

  "From this day forward, you will not walk alone. My arms will be your shelter, and my heart will be your home. Will you marry me?" (Matt quoting the poem, 16:35)

• Rain as a Blessing: Pouring rain cleared out the botanical garden, making the moment private and intimate.

  "Actually, the rain was a blessing in disguise because it cleared everybody out. There was nobody around us." (Matt, 26:10)

• Unexpected Hiccups: The key event coordinator’s phone number didn’t work, leading to a frantic (and comical) search in the garden bathrooms and a chance meeting with “Chastity.”
• Surprise Party: After Stacy said yes, Matt blindfolded her and brought her to a party with 35 friends and family. Her shock and happiness were palpable.
• Finale: He even capped off the night with a surprise hotel stay, and reflected:

  "The best part about this whole thing is that I don't have to lie to you anymore. This has been like planning the Normandy invasion." (Matt, 32:50)

Memorable moment:
When Matt is relieved:

“The best part about this whole thing is that I don’t have to lie to you anymore.” (32:55)

2. Tough Love: Relationship Advice with Dr. TyE

[45:00 – 1:21:00]
The show hosts a “Tough Love” segment with Dr. TyE, a professor and relationship expert. Listeners call and write in with life dilemmas, seeking both empathy and real talk.

Main Advice Letter:

A pregnant woman emails about intimacy struggles and pressure from her husband to invite another woman into their relationship because he has lost physical interest in her during pregnancy.

Key Advice & Insights:

• Empathy for the Situation:
  • “First of all, you are that great woman. You don’t go out and find another woman to satisfy your husband’s cravings.” (Dr. TyE, 54:10)
  • He reframes the issue, advising the woman to not compromise her well-being just to satisfy a partner’s temporary dissatisfaction.
• Gender Double Standards:
  • “If he got bent out of shape, would you say bring another man into it?” (Dr. TyE, 54:30)
  • He calls out the hypocrisy of men only wanting open relationships one way.
• Emotional Perspective:
  • “Women are emotional creatures and you have to work with those emotions. You have to learn to love those emotions.” (Dr. TyE, 56:05)
• Panel’s Take:
  • Hosts argue that the husband is exploiting the wife’s past same-sex experiences to coerce her.

    “She just wants to please him in any way possible. But I think bringing another person in at this stage … is a completely wrong idea.” (Melissa, 58:30)

  • Concern is expressed about women fearing abandonment and “doing everything” to keep a partner from leaving.
• Power & Gender Roles:
  • “No woman wants to raise their children alone ... But if he walks away, he wasn't meant to stay there anyway.” (Dr. TyE, 59:20)

Listener Call: Maria and the Machismo Challenge

• An American woman with a Mexican boyfriend struggles with disproportionate household labor and cultural differences.
• Dr. TyE asks bluntly: "Are you willing to do what it takes to make this relationship work, or is this too much for you and you want to walk away?" (Maria call, 1:08:00)
• He provokes the hosts with, “There’s no such thing as 50/50 in a relationship. Somebody has to have more.” (1:13:25)
• Hosts debate partnership dynamics, agreeing division of labor is rarely “equal” and often shifts with life circumstances.

Notable Quotes:

• “You never sacrifice your happiness to make somebody else happy. You just don’t.” (Dr. TyE, 1:18:15)
• “Because if you do what’s best for your child, you may lose out. And then that child sees you suffering and, in turn, your child suffers.” (Dr. TyE, 1:20:20)

3. Men vs. Women: The Pain Tolerance Challenge

[1:27:00 – 1:55:00]
In-studio fun! The cast debates whether men or women handle pain better. Scientific studies are referenced, but the show demands a practical test: four hosts dunk their arms in ice water, competing to see who can withstand it the longest.

Build-Up and Banter:

• Debates over "who’s the bigger baby” when sick, stubbing toes, or during childbirth.
• Both genders claim the high ground—women cite childbirth; men cite stoicism and downplaying pain.

The Experiment [1:39:45+]:

• Each host puts an arm into a trash can of ice water up to the wrist.
• Comedic, competitive banter ensues as the cold intensifies:
  • “Oh, good God. That’s not cold. It’s freezing!”
  • Jen: “This is colder than the experiment, dude.” (1:40:45)
• Callers distract or support the hosts. Jen becomes the favorite to last longest due to her competitiveness.
• The pain becomes nearly unbearable:
  • “My hand has gone sufficiently numb enough that it doesn’t hurt as much as it did 30 seconds ago.” (Jeff, 1:44:10)
  • Jen: "I can't move my hand right now. ... It's debilitating bad." (Jen, 1:53:30)
• After more than 11 minutes (!!!), Jen and Bert are the last standing; both ultimately pull out, with Bert technically the winner but everyone suffering.

Takeaway:

• The stunt is painful, silly, and “proves” little—except The Bert Show crew’s willingness to go the extra (icy) mile for laughs and debate.

Memorable Quotes:

• “I might be doing damage. I’m out.” (Jeff, 1:51:15)
• “You go ahead and pass a coconut through your little pee pee, and then we’ll talk.” (Kristin, 1:35:30)
• “It's like the third level of hell." (Jen, 1:54:20)

4. Quick Hits: Anecdotes, Audience Calls, and Outtakes

Interspersed Throughout

• Stories about marital roles, stubborn partners, and personal quirks.
• Multiple listener calls highlighting real-world relationship tension, cultural clashes, and parenthood dilemmas.
• Playful ribbing among the cast on gender roles and relationship expectations.
• Promos for upcoming Bert Show content, guests, and Dr. TyE’s books (e.g., My Mind, My Body, My Spirit, Secrets Men Keep).

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps):

• On Proposal Planning:
  "The worst part about this whole thing is it’s just been white lie after white lie." (Matt, 11:25)

• On Romantic Standards:
  "You have set the bar too high in Atlanta. Now your friends are either going to love you or hate you, man." (Bert, 33:05)

• Relationship Reality Check:
  "You never sacrifice your happiness to make somebody else happy." (Dr. TyE, 1:18:15)

• On “50/50” in Relationships:
  "Somebody has to take charge. Somebody has to be the head of the household. You can’t have two heads." (Dr. TyE, 1:12:40)

• Pain Challenge Banter:
  "You go ahead and pass a coconut through your little pee pee, and then we’ll talk." (Kristin, 1:35:30)

• Pain Experiment Aftermath:
  “It's like the third level of hell." (Jen, 1:54:20)

Episode Flow & Tone

The show radiates camaraderie, blunt honesty, and playful competitiveness. Deep relationship insights intermingle with wild sound effects, lighthearted arguments, and outrageous stunts, embodying what listeners love about The Bert Show: real people, laughing at real-life messiness.

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Proposal Story: 05:00 – 33:30
• Tough Love with Dr. TyE: 45:00 – 1:21:00
• Pain Tolerance Debate & Experiment: 1:27:00 – 1:55:00
• Key Quotes & Takeaways: Throughout, as highlighted above

Summary for Listeners:
Whether swooning over a dream proposal, squirming through icy pain, or asking the hard questions in love and life, this episode delivers entertainment, hard-earned wisdom, and the genuine chemistry of a radio family. Fans of The Bert Show will find all the familiar highs and lows—and new listeners will quickly feel right at home.