Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 1 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 1 [Vault]
Episode Date: July 1, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, various guests (notably Ron Jeremy), and callers

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Episode Overview

This episode is a classic slice of "The Bert Show," blending irreverent humor with candid conversations. The main themes include an in-depth interview with controversial adult film star Ron Jeremy, personal stories about surgeries and aging, discussions on whether to keep family secrets (specifically around DUIs), as well as a local neighborhood mystery. The episode showcases the show's mix of real-life drama, pop culture, and the cast's signature authenticity and engagement with listeners.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Interview with Ron Jeremy – Women in Adult Entertainment

[01:01–12:32]

Women as Consumers & Leaders in Adult Industry

• Ron Jeremy discusses the rise of women both as adult entertainment consumers and industry leaders.
• Shift due to video: Women were uncomfortable going to adult theaters but became a "huge female audience" once video made it private.
  • “But then once it went out to video and you could see it in the privacy of your own home—boom, huge female audience. No one expected.” – Ron Jeremy [02:45]

Female Empowerment & Industry Changes

• More female-owned companies, e.g., Jenna Jameson's $14 million PlayBoy sale.
• Safer spaces for women at conventions; less taboo for women to be fans.
• “In fact, Sherry has a quote about that…You’re on with Ron Jeremy.” – Host [02:25]

Listener Call-In: How to Get Into the Industry, and Cautions

• Callers ask about entering the adult industry; Ron emphasizes thinking "real carefully" because “once it’s on film, it’s always out there.”
  • “I always tell women, even though it won’t be out there that much because there’s always new people coming along, you’ll be in the back of the shelf somewhere. But… once you do it, it’ll be established on film.” – Ron Jeremy [04:00]
• Discussion about the impact of the internet and free content making the business tough.

Sex: Professional vs. Personal

• Discussion around separating work from pleasure for adult actors and actresses.
• "How can you possibly do that so often professionally and turn the professional switch off and really enjoy it in your personal life?" – Host [06:35]
• Ron explains the male ability (and current female movement) to detach sex from romance.
  • "Men have been doing it for years. Women are catching up now." – Ron Jeremy [06:49]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Lighthearted banter about professional detachment and “not enjoying” on screen as a way to avoid guilt.
• “Come get with me. You won’t enjoy it and you’re not cheating.” – Bert [09:14]
• Ron admits his "numbers" (with women)—around 3,500–4,500, unlike other stars who exaggerate stats.
  • “Me and Gene Simmons…we said between three and a half to four and a half thousand…” – Ron Jeremy [09:48]

2. Personal Stories: Surgery, Anxiety & Aging

[14:00–17:59]

Host's Knee Surgery & Team's Medical History

• Host shares about an imminent knee surgery; other cast members swap stories of surgeries big and small.
  • “If I ever have surgery for anything... I will not be at work that day.” – Bert [14:32]
• Discussion on anesthesia and hospital experiences.
  • “You wake up thinking, okay, when are we going to start? And it’s done. The nurse is there saying, ‘Oh, you did fine.’” – Melissa [15:43]

Aging & Birthdays

• Jokes about Melissa Carter’s age and “oldest woman in the world” skit.
• Melissa turns 40 and discusses embracing it:
  • “I am totally fine with it. I’m not somebody that has been freaked out about 40. I embrace it. I think it’s cool.” – Melissa [20:45]

Notable Moment:

• Playful AP news parody: “A Georgian television station has shown what it says to be the world’s oldest person. The woman is named Melissa Carter…” – Bert [21:07]

3. Advice Segment: Should She Tell Her Parents About Her DUI?

[23:42–34:53]

Listener Problem: Hiding a DUI from Parents

• Cast debates whether a woman, who is close with her family, should tell her parents about a DUI, even though she is handling all legal aspects herself.
• “If there was a way I knew that I could keep it 100% from them, then I would do that.” – Bert [26:01]
• Concerns about mail from lawyers, insurance, and the likelihood the parents will find out anyway.
• Listener and caller input: Some managed to hide DUIs, but most believe parents eventually find out.

Gender, Guilt & Independence

• Melissa observes the emotional dynamic seems more pronounced for the daughter, perhaps a "girls vs. guys" thing.
  • “She feels she needs to confess… when she’s an adult and she’s taking care of it…” – Melissa [28:22]
• Several callers and cast underscore the theme of “growing up,” learning to handle one’s own mistakes.

Advice from Callers and Cast

• “If she wants them to know from her, she might as well go ahead and come clean.” – Caller (Michelle) [30:56]
• Final consensus from Melissa & Bert: If she truly needs their support (emotional/financial), she should tell them, but ultimately, it’s a step toward adulthood.

4. Neighborhood Mystery: Who Is the Five-Minute Visitor?

[36:43–41:53]

Suspicious Activity at a Decatur Townhome

• Listener reports a man parking in the neighborhood every day, going into a townhouse for five minutes, acting secretively.
• Frankie does a stakeout, talks to the man (who claims to be a resident, but isn’t a realtor), learns there’s a lockbox on the door—raising more questions.
• Possibilities discussed: Is the house foreclosed? Is someone retrieving mail secretly?
  • “All I know is this guy’s doing something he’s not supposed to be doing.” – Melissa [41:27]

Mystery Continues

• Frankie plans to stake out again and update.
• The segment to be continued, with Bert teasing: “The story will continue on Monday.” [38:12]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On women entering the adult industry:
  “I always tell women, even though it won’t be out there that much because there’s always new people coming along… once you do it, it’ll be established on film. So I tell women to think real carefully before you do that. Real carefully.” — Ron Jeremy [03:38]
• Is enjoying sex on camera cheating?
  “If I start to like it, I feel like I’m cheating on my husband.” — Ron Jeremy quoting a performer [08:23]
• On the reality of enjoyment:
  “Half the women in the business actually enjoy it. And out of that half, probably maybe a 10, 20% actually. You can let go…” — Ron Jeremy [08:52]
• Professional vs. Personal detachment:
  “Everyone can do that. You did it when you were single. We can go to a bar or a club and meet a beautiful, beautiful woman, not be in love, still have a nice time. Girls can do it too.” — Ron Jeremy [07:04]
• Surgery & anxiety:
  “If I ever have surgery for anything… I will not be at work that day.” — Bert [14:32]
• On aging:
  “I am totally fine with it. I’m not somebody that has been freaked out about 40. I embrace it. I think it’s cool.” — Melissa [20:45]
• On hiding the DUI:
  “If there was a way I knew that I could keep it 100% from them, then I would do that.” — Bert [26:01] “If she wants them to know from her, she might as well go ahead and come clean.” — Caller (Michelle) [30:56]

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Conclusion

The July 1, 2026, episode of The Bert Show delivers its trademark format: comic relief, cultural commentary, and authentic advice. From challenging stigmas in the adult industry with Ron Jeremy, to open conversations about health and independence, and even a dash of true crime-lite neighborhood sleuthing, the episode is a lively morning radio time capsule — peppered with quotable, candid moments, and real talk for the audience and among the cast.

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Segment Timestamps

• Ron Jeremy Interview: [01:01–12:32]
• Surgery & Aging Stories: [14:00–17:59]
• Melissa’s Birthday & Aging: [20:42–21:53]
• DUI Dilemma & Calls: [23:42–34:53]
• Neighborhood Mystery: [36:43–41:53]

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For listeners seeking the show's blend of humor, advice, and slice-of-life drama, this episode captures what makes The Bert Show a radio staple.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

What's up, everybody?

[Bert]

It's Bretzky. And America is turning 250. And I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games, live crabs, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ron Jeremy]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

This is not a segment we would normally do. I mean, this is probably not one that we would book, but Ron Jeremy, adult film star, hall of Famer, really was down the hall with the regular guys. I'm like, there's gotta be something there we can do with this guy that can be entertaining for our audience. So, Ron, our audience is so different from what they do down there that I'm not exactly sure what to do with this next couple of minutes.

[Ron Jeremy]

Churchgoers, Bible Bell.

[Melissa]

No, it's not a church.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

We got more women listening to us. So I'm trying to.

[Ron Jeremy]

Well, girls are actually first. I did a lot of reality shows adult. You know, a lot of women watch the Surreal Life.

[Wayne]

Yeah.

[Ron Jeremy]

And then the Fame Games with the. With Robin Leach.

[Commercial Announcer]

Sure.

[Ron Jeremy]

They show that fight with me and Vanilla Ice on MTV all the time.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Ron Jeremy]

And then, of course, I did Kathy Griffin's the D List. I was on that show with her. I've done a lot of things that women have seen and like, you know.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Yeah, that's for sure.

[Ron Jeremy]

Not just. And also, even in the world of Adult women are becoming a lot now. A new order. Yeah, my women are buying. I was on the Joy Behar show recently on CNN Headline News from. I was also on the View when she was on that show. And then they. They said how women are becoming a very large audience now in the world of adult movies.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

The. I was watching an MSNBC special. This must have been months ago. And most of these adult film corporations now are being run by women.

[Ron Jeremy]

Yes, they are.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

The owners are women and they're being

[Ron Jeremy]

run by directors of women. Yeah, A lot of the women have their own companies yeah, they're all becoming very wealthy. You know, Jenna Jameson sold her company to playboy for $14 million.

[Melissa]

How long have the conventions been going on? Because I've seen, like, advertisements for a lot of adult conventions, and it seems like that is also a more safer space for women. Because I think a lot of times for women, they don't want to feel creepy. They want to feel safe in an environment which there's a lot of adult stars.

[Ron Jeremy]

That's why the video market became so huge. See that when it was in theaters, before video was invented, women didn't really want to be seen in the theaters. They want the neighbors to know where I'm going, you know? But then once it went out to video and you could see it in the privacy of your own home, boom, Huge female audience. No one expected.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Right.

[Ron Jeremy]

You know, I mean, they never had a problem seeing adult material. They just don't want to do it where people see them watching it.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Right. You know, will you. I guess it wouldn't be accurate to say you have as many female fans as you do guys.

[Ron Jeremy]

No, I have more guys.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Yeah.

[Ron Jeremy]

Like the brag and say, of course I do. But no, I gotta be honest, you know, how does. There are plenty of female fans, too.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. It's not like this taboo industry anymore for women.

[Ron Jeremy]

Right.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

In fact, Sherry has a quote about that. Sherry wants to be on the Voice Disguise. You're on with Ron Jeremy.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. I like to know how you get started in the industry. And is it something that you would try to tell people not to do?

[Ron Jeremy]

Because I tell them to think about it first. Because you're established on film. You know, they had a big debate. I was on a TV show with Dennis Hoff, who owns the Bunny Ranch. He's on hbo, and he was trying to say that, well, in the world of escort, it's legal. He has a legal brothel in Nevada, the Bunny Ranch. And he said that. And the show's called Cat House on hbo. He says, hbo. And he says, at least there when the girl does it. Then when she quits, nothing is there on tape. And she can go to PT meetings with the family and the kids, whereas they do porn films. It'll always be out there. So I always tell women, even though it won't be out there that much because there's always new people coming along. You'll be in the back of the shelf somewhere. But, you know, once you do it, it'll be established on film. So I tell women to think real carefully before you do that. Real Carefully.

[Caller/Guest]

What. What. Who would you call to find out about it? I mean, how do you like.

[Ron Jeremy]

Well, there's all the agents on the Internet world. Modeling.com or LA directmodels.com. gold star. You know, there's a choice amount of agents who book the girls. They. They take you for your blood test, take your photographs. And again, work is suffering because of the Internet and that you can get stuff for free now.

[Bert]

Mm.

[Ron Jeremy]

All these websites are now free.

[Frankie]

Really?

[Ron Jeremy]

The porn business is seriously in trouble. A lot of companies are going out of business. Sherry, how do you compete? And look at the recording industry, okay, how do you compete with free? So it's not. Not a very good time to get in the biz because there's actually less people working now. Sherry, what.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

What makes you think you'd be good in this kind of industry? I mean, do you think, like, because you really love this in your personal life, that you think that you like it just as much professionally?

[Caller/Guest]

Just. I just. I just. An addiction.

[Ron Jeremy]

It's an addiction to watch or performing?

[Caller/Guest]

Just doing it in general.

[Melissa]

So performing.

[Caller/Guest]

Just the filming part, I just like to do that all the time, so I figured, why not?

[Ron Jeremy]

You like to have sex all the time?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. I've actually broken up from relationships because they couldn't do it enough.

[Ron Jeremy]

How soon can you drive to the studio?

[Caller/Guest]

I've been watching you for years.

[Ron Jeremy]

Oh, good. Thank you.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Does that translate, though? Like, if you. She's a really great example. Like, if you just really like having sex. Isn't it different when it's professional?

[Ron Jeremy]

Like, on screen, you have to cheat it for the camera. Of course. You can't just, you know, when I'm directing a movie, can't just be, okay, guys, go at it. It's like, come on. We can't say, get the hair out of the way. Come on, move. We put. Your arm is blocking. You know, like, you have to do certain positions and angles that the audience could see what's going on.

[Bert]

Is that almost offensive to you, though? Because I gotta admit, sometimes it throws me when people come up and go, hey, you know, I was listening to the radio, and you're funny. And I'm. I'm funny. I can do what you do. I'm like, okay.

[Ron Jeremy]

No, no. Well, maybe they could. A little bit of instruction, a little bit of, you know, directing now with Viagra, Cialis, Villavica. Almost any guy can be a porn actor. You know, there's only a handful of us, lasted 20 years or more, but now, you know, with these new drugs, you Know, the hardest thing was to be able to do that on camera, perform. A lot of guys would. Yeah, a lot of guys would get a little nervous, you know. And now with these pills, you know, almost any guy could be a porn star.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Answer this for your. For everybody in the industry. How can you possibly do that so often professionally and turn the professional switch off and really enjoy it in your personal life?

[Ron Jeremy]

That's so amazingly easy, people. That's not even a challenge because guys like that anyway. They say, how can he. When I was on the View, Barbara Walters asked that, and everyone thought that was so silly. You know, how can you detach sex from romance? Men have been doing it for years. Women are catching up now. I lecture a lot at colleges.

[Bert]

Really?

[Ron Jeremy]

Girls have a thing today called a boy toy that didn't exist back in our era where the guy's just there to give the girl a good time and get out. Well, how about, you're done. Thank you very much. And now women are often doing the one night stands. And a lot of women, there's a magazine called Boink and hbomb. Women at Yale and Harvard and Boston University are starting their own magazines, College Girls for Women by women, Photographed by women, Women audiences. And it's just funny. Girls are getting more sexual, not because of us, but hand in hand in the adult industry. And women's sexuality seems to be blossoming at the same time because, you know, again, detaching romance from sex, everyone can do that. You did it when you were single. We can go to a bar or a club and meet a beautiful, beautiful woman, not be in love, still have a nice time. Girls can do it too. They were, they were born and raised in our early era, you know, to just make sure it's romantic and you care about the person. And now a lot of girls today go, no, I'm horny. I want to have a good time. I don't have to love the guy

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

when the attitude was different, you know, years ago. Because like you said, there does seem to be a different attitude now where a woman can detach. Was there ever a woman on the scene that would cry?

[Ron Jeremy]

I haven't seen it happen. I heard that it could happen sometimes. I knew a case of a girl named Merle Michaels who was so cute. She said that she's not cheating as long as she doesn't enjoy and keeps it totally solid. I've known escorts at the Bunny Ranch said the same thing. If I start to like it, I feel like I'm cheating on my husband.

[Bert]

Oh, really?

[Ron Jeremy]

Yeah, they'd say, stop, stop, stop, stop. What's the matter? I'm starting to like this. I just take a breather, stop, back away. I go. It's mad. I can't be enjoying it. I feel like I'm cheating.

[Frankie]

No kidding.

[Ron Jeremy]

They do that line in their head. As long as they're doing it physically for the job. Okay, Just going through the motions, you know, just, oh, baby, oh, baby, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's all that matters. They start to like it, then they feel guilty on their husband. Isn't that weird?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

So if you haven't.

[Ron Jeremy]

Just a few times. But it's funny.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

That was one of the questions I wanted to ask. If you're watching an adult film, everybody looks like they're having a blast. The truth of the matter is nobody's really enjoying it.

[Ron Jeremy]

Well, they are. It's divided. That's a 50%. We've done surveys. Half the women in the business actually enjoy it. And out of that half, probably maybe a 10, 20% actually. You can let go of an ending, whereas the men have to.

[Bert]

It can be actually.

[Ron Jeremy]

If a guy doesn't really get into it, they have to hire a stand in and his career is not going to last too long.

[Bert]

Right. I can actually use that as a selling point. Like, come get with me. You won't enjoy it and you're not cheating.

[Melissa]

You know what I mean?

[Ron Jeremy]

That's a great line.

[Bert]

That's a good line. Like, seriously, I will be available for all of your infidelity needs.

[Ron Jeremy]

Try not to enjoy.

[Bert]

I guarantee you you will not like it at all. So no guilt.

[Ron Jeremy]

Make all the wrong moves so you won't feel guilty about. Is this how you do it?

[Bert]

No.

[Frankie]

Perfect.

[Ron Jeremy]

Enjoying this?

[Bert]

Hell no.

[Ron Jeremy]

Perfect.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Do you ever. I mean, because you've been doing this for so long, I'm assuming your numbers are in the tens of thousands of women.

[Ron Jeremy]

No. Me and Gene Simmons on the View, weeks apart, asked us how many girls you know. We try to tell the truth. You know, Wilt Chamberlain and John Holmes said 20,000. Both regretted saying it because that's stupid. Me and Gene were more honest. We said between three and a half to four and a half thousand years.

[Caller/Guest]

Thousand.

[Ron Jeremy]

Three and a half thousand. Yeah. And Gene Simmons is being truthful. Then I made a funny comment. They said, well, look at the girls he gets when he, you know, that look like his gorgeous Playboy playmate, Shannon Tweed. When I'm not making movies, I get girls that look like Gene Simmons.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Is it something you still like after when you've had that many experiences. Even as a guy, do you still enjoy every single time as much as you did the first time? Really?

[Ron Jeremy]

Yes. Look, variety is always fun. Look at your average rock star, you know, rap star. The guys who travel around the country, they say the same thing. You know, it doesn't get tiring when they get a little older. Maybe they have a wife, they have kids, maybe they slow down a little bit. You look at some of the older rock stars, but the young ones, they enjoy it. And they're doing huge numbers, huge numbers on the bus, the tour bus. Every stop is another face, you know, and so it's kind of, men are men. Are we dogs? We don't get jaded as quickly. Women will often use expressions for love or money. When girls run the sex business, whether it be the brothels or the porn films, you know, a lot of them really do enjoy the sex recreationally as well. But there's a good number of them that they're getting the recreational sex through the job. So it's like they use the term for love or money. You know, why be with this guy from. It's not going to be a romantic relationship, you know, future marriage or something like a boyfriend, girlfriend, why bother? Give me a paycheck.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

So this almost justifies having sex.

[Ron Jeremy]

It's either romance or just. Yeah, or it's a paycheck.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Interesting.

[Ron Jeremy]

So sometimes the girls get a bit jaded.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Interesting.

[Ron Jeremy]

Not the guys.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Ron Jeremy is in town. He's going to be at the Pink Pony.

[Ron Jeremy]

Food, drinks, a little comedy, some beautiful women dancing. How can you go wrong?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

How could you? It's good talking to you, man. Everything you wanted to cover there, Wendy?

[Melissa]

Well, it's the Pink Pony South. Let's just. Because there's more than one. So Pink Pony south, everything we wanted to cover?

[Wayne]

No, I'm just fascinated. I think it's interesting.

[Ron Jeremy]

There'll be a large audience of females, too. There is that right? There always is, yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

How many people normally show up to these things for you?

[Ron Jeremy]

Oh, I. It's hard to say. I mean, I packed colleges, but in nightclubs, it's always hit and miss. Usually there's a decent crowd.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Ron Jeremy]

I did a couple of films that were like huge in colleges. Regular films. Boondock Saints is a huge film. You guys ever see that? I did not know Willem Dafoe, the South Park Boys, did a film called Orgasmo. You know, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Detroit Rock City, the Kiss film. So these are three films I've done record breaking, you know, numbers in colleges. So that's My biggest audience.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

That's Ron Jeremy, the Bird Show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now, all summer long, I'm gonna be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Bert]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino, Boyd.

[Lady Luck]

Where prohibited.

[Bert]

Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ron Jeremy]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Melissa]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to

[Wayne]

see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H vac on its last leg.

[Melissa]

If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind.

[Wayne]

Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support.

[Melissa]

Call 1-800-Grainger click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Bert]

The Burt show.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

So I am going underneath the knife today for some knee surgery. And it's fascinating to Wendy and to Jeff because they've never had any surgeries ever at all before.

[Wayne]

Yeah, when I was a tiny tot though. But I mean, they didn't do that kind of stuff. It was literally in and out, but never been under the mask or whatever it is.

[Melissa]

Anesthesia.

[Wayne]

Yes, anesthesia.

[Bert]

I told Bert I was just surprised. I said if I ever having surgery for anything, like even I guess a knee surgery would be, it's in and out, like minor. You're not spending the night in the hospital, right?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

I'm not, no. They'll put you out. They work on my knee and a couple hours I leave.

[Bert]

So it's a minor outpatient surgery. I'm just letting you know that if I ever have surgery, I will not be at work that day.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

But for what reason? What are you gonna do, though? Like in this time, if I wasn't here, what would I be doing?

[Melissa]

You talking about, like right now?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Yeah, he's saying he wouldn't come in

[Bert]

today if I had a surgery scheduled for 12:30. That's the time your surgery's scheduled for, right?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

I have to be there at 11, but yeah.

[Bert]

If I had a surgery scheduled for 12 today, Brian, I wouldn't come to work.

[Melissa]

For what reason?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

That's what I'm saying is like, for what reason?

[Bert]

Having. Because somebody's cutting me open later that day.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

But what are you gonna do? Think about the surgery all day at your house?

[Wayne]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

For what?

[Wayne]

It's gotta be nerve wracking to go in there. Aren't you on like, some sort of, like, stretcher? And then all of a sudden they put this stuff on you and they hook you up and poke you.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Here's what it feels like. It's. They will put. They stick you in your arm and you feel it get cold up your arm, it gets into your shoulder and then you're out. There's no, like, fading into going to sleep.

[Melissa]

You're just.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

You're out.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

And you wake up and you. It's like the next second, like the last time Tom did my knee, he put me out and I woke up and I'm like, when are we going to get started?

[Frankie]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

And it was a couple hours later. He's like, we're done, man.

[Bert]

But I think.

[Melissa]

And that's the. That's the common. Because one of my best friends just had surgery last week and I was in the pre op with her and she was freaking out because she's never had surgery before. And same thing. Like, Katie and I both have had multiple surgeries. And so it is just like Bert said. That's the common thing is, like, you wake up thinking, okay, when are we going to start? And it's done. And the nurse is there saying, oh, you did fine. You're doing great. You know, and you're like, really? It's over in your mind. It lasts five seconds.

[Bert]

But see, with you guys, the beauty of anesthesia, because Melissa has had her entire kidney replaced. She's been really.

[Melissa]

You know, I've been under the knife for that surgery. Took about six hours.

[Bert]

Yeah. And then. Have you had anything done before that?

[Melissa]

Minor ones to build up to that, but that was the biggest one I've ever heard.

[Bert]

So, like, you've. And you've had. I mean, you're. I mean, Melissa's the oldest person in the world.

[Frankie]

You're.

[Melissa]

I am in the world. Okay.

[Frankie]

I win.

[Bert]

As I'm talking to Moses over here, like, you've had your knees replaced, your hip replaced, you had your dementia fixed. You had cataracts removed, totally different colon. Yeah. You've had it all done. So to you guys, it's no big deal. Cause, you know, because you know what's happening.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Yeah.

[Bert]

But like, for me, where I've never had surgery other than, you know, like dental procedures or whatever, but I've never had my skin cut open and someone go inside me to repair or replace anything, like, it would be a big deal. It would be a stressful enough deal that I know I would be so useless right. On the day leading up to it that I would just. I would just sleep late.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

People get freaked out about it. Like, the last 48 hours, people are calling me going, hey, good luck, man. I hope everything works out. I'm like, it's not heart surgery, dude. It's knee surgery. And frankly, I am looking forward to the sleep. I really, really am. The rest, the rest. Cause I don't sleep for crap. And with this job, you never get any sleep. So frankly, I'm really looking forward to sleeping well today. And honestly, I'm looking forward to the drugs I'm gonna have later on today that are gonna put me out all night long. And this weekend, well, I've got Father

[Bert]

Kron coming in to do your last rites,

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

so it's really not a huge deal.

[Melissa]

It's still surgery. I mean, surgery is important, but I'm

[Wayne]

getting nauseous just talking about it in here.

[Melissa]

But I mean, really, if you look at the. Statistically, that is one of the safest places. I mean, when you're in surgery, never in your life are you going to have a team of people that are doing nothing but watching you and taking care of you. I mean, it's one of the safest places you can be.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

The only thing that freaks me out about any kind of surgery like that is getting a staph infection, is them not having the place clean enough, and you end up getting an infection. And that can happen.

[Melissa]

That can happen anywhere, right?

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

It can happen anywhere. But that's the only thing that freaks me out about it, actually going under and being unconscious and having the knee worked on. Man, I'm looking forward to all of it because I've been hobbling around on this knee now for six weeks. Feels like crap every single day. So I'm ready to go do it.

[Wayne]

Well, I'm still going to wish you good luck on your surgery today.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Thank you, Wayne.

[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

She kissed Ron Jeremy and she liked it.

[Frankie]

Oh, my God.

[Melissa]

She did not. I'm sitting in my chair okay. So, of course, we just had run Jeremy's studio. I hope Jen's listening to this in la. So we had run Jeremy in studio. Okay, everything's fine. And I thought I got. Because Bert kept saying, oh, you're gonna get big, huh? He's gonna give you a big hug. Like, no, no, no.

[Bert]

Joker was gonna be a birthday hug.

[Melissa]

So I thought, perfect, he's getting out of here. Everything's fine. And then he turned, and he was shaking Jeff's hand. He was shaking Bert's hand. I thought, I'll shake his hand. And then I thought, I don't know if I want to shake his hand. And then he said, no, I gotta. I gotta hug pretty ladies. So he came and gave me a hug, and it was, you know. You know how when you're hugging someone, you really don't want to hug? So I'm almost given the kind of, I don't know, the butt out hug. Yeah. Well, and then he kissed me on my head.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

And so you know where those lips have been.

[Melissa]

I know. Thank God it was. And so he kissed me on the top of my head, I guess, like, I'm a good girl, and if I

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

were you, I would shave the hair as though you had lice.

[Melissa]

Wow. And so, yeah, I just wanted to

[Wayne]

know your inner monologue. At that very moment, as he's approaching,

[Melissa]

I was staring at Burt. Wait, no, no, no, no, no. I saw him coming, and then the way we were hugging, my face was almost in his face pit. And he was kissing the top of my head, and I was looking over his shoulder. I was looking over at Bert, who was giving the fist pump, like.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

He turned out to be a really nice guy. And I think he handled himself and the show handled it very, very well. Very well. Once he left, I said to Wendy, I'm like, you know what? We didn't ask that. The question that we get time and time again from women is, look, if my guy is really, really bad in bed, is there anything I can really do about it? And he would have been the dude to ask.

[Caller/Guest]

Bummer.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Next time, Melissa, when you have him

[Melissa]

come in next time and visit the next birthday.

[Wayne]

Who's the. Oh, I have the next birthday.

[Melissa]

When's your birthday?

[Wayne]

July 9th.

[Melissa]

Oh, Bertha's the next birthday. Oh, hey.

[Wayne]

Got you a birthday present.

[Ron Jeremy]

Yes.

[Bert]

Like you, Melissa, Ron Jeremy was a star when my dad was a kid.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Your dad probably has a whole collection,

[Bert]

actually. Do you want to call him later today and talk about stuff?

[Melissa]

Your dad from your youth? Yes. Well, I was Telling Wendy, I'm so excited that Betty White's going to be on Saturday Night Live because we're contemporary tomorrow, you know.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

Melissa turns 40 years old today.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Wayne]

Happy birthday.

[Melissa]

Thank you. Thank you. Yes. And I am totally fine with it. I'm not somebody that has been freaked out about 40. I embrace it. I think it's cool. It is going to. It's going to take some getting used to to say I'm in my 40s. That is an odd phrase to say. But yeah, no, I am totally fine with it.

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

This is if you missed this. Earlier this morning, the AP News did a story on our very own Melissa Carter and her birthday. Pretty funny.

[Bert]

A Georgian television station has shown what it says to be the world's oldest person. The woman is named Melissa Carter. The station says she was born back in 1880. That will make her 130 years old, man. The station says it established her birth date from documents at the country's civil registration agency. Now, if authentic, the woman would be the world's oldest living person by nearly two decades. Georgia Civil Registry Agency is now trying to get the woman's documents verified, possibly putting her in the Guinness Book of World Record. BRIAN thomas, the Associated Press Very cool

[Host (possibly Jeff or Wendy)]

for AP to do that.

[Melissa]

I know. Congratulations. Yeah. And to win some kind of competition is always important in this room. So it's going to be in the Guinness Book World Record.

[Bert]

The oldest.

[Melissa]

Awesome. Awesome.

[Bert]

Hey, the bird show.

[Lady Luck]

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[Caller/Guest]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on finquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble crafts. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Bert]

Spin Quest is a Free to play Social Casino Boy where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ron Jeremy]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Bert]

The first show. We will try to help one of Wendy's friends who's trying to keep a secret so we'll talk about it on the radio.

[Wayne]

Yeah, well, she's trying to keep it a huge secret. So, I mean, obviously I won't say her name on the radio, but I have a friend who told me just last weekend and we went out, which I don't know why we were going out, if this had happened to her. We went out and she told me that she got busted for a DUI and so caught drinking and driving. Just above the limit, she said. Obviously went to jail. Did not. She's super close with her family. I've got to get the backstory. She's super close and tight with her family, especially her mom and her sister. Her dad usually tells everything that's going on in her life, so he never keeps secrets from her parents at all or her family, regardless. So got a dui, went to jail, bailed herself out so she didn't have to call her parents. Well, now she's working overtime. She's hired a lawyer, obviously, because I'm guessing that's what you do when you get a dui. You have to go to court and figure it all out. Well, hired a d. A lawyer, and really expensive, trying to pay it on her own. But meanwhile, her parents still have zero idea that she's gotten this dui. But now she's stressing all about it and can barely pay the lawyer's bills and doesn't know what to do, whether to tell her parents or not. Because, I mean, that's a big deal. I mean, that's my worst nightmare.

[Melissa]

How old is she?

[Wayne]

She's 20. I'll say 25, 26 years old.

[Melissa]

Because there's a part of me that wonders if. I mean, unless she's thinking about asking her parents for financial help, I honestly don't know why she would need to tell them.

[Wayne]

But, I mean, I guess the stress of it. I mean, to talk to somebody about it and being so close that she talks to her mom every day. So being on the phone and having that way in the back of your mind, I couldn't help but share something with my mom about it or even go around it. I wouldn't be too excited to share it with her, but to be that close and always have that lingering and lurking, I don't know if I could deal with that.

[Melissa]

I appreciate the fact that she's trying so hard to get, you know, she's taking care of it though. You know, the fact that she's, you know, bailed herself out of jail and that she's trying to do the legal fees by herself, I mean that's to be commended. I mean she's trying to make up for.

[Bert]

Did she live at home or does she live on her own?

[Wayne]

She lives on her own. Okay, but still being super close with your parents, wouldn't you? Yeah, but my beans or it come out some way.

[Bert]

My concern is. Yeah. That it would come out some way that they would hear. If there was a way I knew that I could keep it 100% from them, then I would do that. But my concern would be just the way government operations, like what if there's some police department file or district attorney, whoever has to get involved when you're dealing with a DUI Motor vehicles that doesn't have her address updated. So then a letter goes to her parents house that advises her of a court date or a change in her license status or something like that that mom and dad see. Or if.

[Wayne]

Well, I do think most of her bills do go to her parents house because she didn't move out not too long ago.

[Bert]

Yeah, see that would make me so

[Wayne]

nervous because my license is her parents address. Like on my license I usually have my stuff go to my mom's house because it's the study address. I know I can always go there and get my mail or get my bills.

[Melissa]

Do they open her mail though?

[Wayne]

I don't. But if you saw something from like government or a lawyer's office, wouldn't you like raise an eyebrow if it was your kid?

[Bert]

Well, my parents, I mean it doesn't happen anymore, but they used to, like when I lived in Boston and then in Arizona, like if something came to the house, to their house, they would, if it looked important or like a bill or something, they would open it so that when I called them they could tell me and I had and I had no problem with that. So like they would say, hey, we got a letter from. Most of them were from Syracuse University advising me of unpaid parking tickets. You got another unpaid parking ticket? You owe Syracuse $15, but stuff like that. So if they do the same thing. Trying to be helpful. Hey, Dave. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, guys.

[Frankie]

How you doing?

[Bert]

What's going on?

[Frankie]

I've actually gotten a dui, got convicted and nobody in my family knows about

[Melissa]

it still to this day.

[Wayne]

How long has it been?

[Frankie]

It's been about four years. I got one more year until it's actually off my insurance record.

[Bert]

Who is in your family? Like is this your parents or your siblings or all of them?

[Wayne]

Well, then he.

[Frankie]

Parents, siblings, grandparents. The only people that know are some of my friends.

[Bert]

And how did you keep it away from them?

[Frankie]

Had one of my friends put a bond up for me to get me out and every other mail article I related to Ticket see.

[Wayne]

And then he brought up a good point about insurance because I have no idea if she's on her parents insurance policy. Wouldn't that.

[Melissa]

Well, if. I mean, if she's connected to her parents somehow that she needs to tell them, then I see where that's the case. But just because of feeling guilty, like I feel like this, this may be a case of, of, I don't know, girls versus guys. Because she feels so an emotional wreck because of this. She feels she needs to confess to her mom. This where. I just don't. I think it's something she did as an adult. She's making up for it and it's, you know, and she'll take care of it. And I don't understand why she needs to. Because it sounds to me like she wants to confess. You know what I mean? When she's an adult and she's taking care of it, I don't understand why her mom has to know, you know.

[Bert]

Hey, Jordan, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I was just wondering if it wasn't in the newspaper, do they still publish?

[Wayne]

Yeah, I don't think so. I don't think they still publish that kind of stuff.

[Bert]

I think I've seen some like, small news community newspapers that it might be in, but I don't think the AJC publishes it. What's the AJC down to? Five pages.

[Melissa]

I was gonna say they don't have. They don't have the money to do that.

[Bert]

They're out of the space now, but they. Well, see, Christian has a different. Hey, Christian. Welcome to the show.

[Frankie]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest]

First off, I just want to say, do not lie. You get caught every time. May not be right away, but she will get caught.

[Bert]

But it's not. It's not a lie. She's technically not lying. She's just choosing not to touch.

[Caller/Guest]

And that leads into my second point. What it sounds like is she is looking for emotional support from her parents. If she's that close to. To them, then she needs their emotional

[Frankie]

support to get through this.

[Wayne]

Well, I mean, I kind of agree with that. I don't. Me, personally, I don't know if I could go through something like that without sharing it, at least with my mom.

[Bert]

At what age would you. Do you think it's something. If it happened to you at 30, you probably can't tell. I mean, you can't tell the future. Well, what age would you have stopped letting having your mom. Mom and dad be in the loop?

[Melissa]

I think that's why at 25. I think 25 to 27 is probably when I was started to cut that, you know, the umbilical cord a little bit and. Yeah, because right now, it just seems. Right now, it just seems unimaginable for me to call Millie Pete, if anything occurred, you know, that really had nothing to do with her. But. But, I mean, I guess if. If she's feeling that, if she needs the emotional support, I get that. It's just. I guess my thing is that I think she's handling this very well when it comes to actually, you know, making up for it and doing, you know, trying to be responsible about it. And I just. I don't like the feeling of that. She's so distraught, and she needs to confess. I'm repeating myself, but it just sounds like she's more upset about it than. I wonder if she should be.

[Bert]

Hey, Michelle. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, Jeff.

[Frankie]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest]

She's gonna have to come clean because all the DUI attorneys are going to start sending solicitations to the address on her license. Excuse me? They're gonna know. So if she wants them to know from her, she might as well go ahead and come clean.

[Wayne]

So the lawyers send stuff to your. To their address.

[Caller/Guest]

You will get solicitations immediately because what

[Bert]

they do is they put in the. It's public record. So lawyers who are looking for that kind of business pull that record, like, every week or every day. Anything that's public record and there's a business attached to it, they'll put you on mailing list. So same thing if you don't pay your bills. Mm.

[Wayne]

But as a parent, would you question that if that came in?

[Bert]

I would. If all of a sudden, out of nowhere.

[Wayne]

Could just be regular advertising. You know, how you get, like, little pamphlets in the mail that don't mean anything?

[Melissa]

It Depends on her parents. And it depends on if her mail. I mean, you say her mail goes to her parents house. Depends on how they sort it and how they deal with it. I mean, it. You know, it just depends on her personal situation.

[Bert]

Hey, Nydia.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Bert]

Tells your story.

[Caller/Guest]

I got a DUI when I was 29, and my husband called my parents.

[Bert]

Why?

[Caller/Guest]

He was terrified. I was terrified. The officer assaulted me, and I guess he panicked.

[Bert]

Was. Were you okay with that, or once he told you that, were you kind of like, hey, that's just. In the future, I got this.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, my whole situation was a mess, but, yeah, I. After I calmed down and everything, then I was like, okay. I didn't know what else he could have done.

[Bert]

And what did. What did your parents do?

[Caller/Guest]

They bailed me out, and I paid for everything after that because I think

[Bert]

if I was living in Syracuse and that happened, I think my parents would probably say something along the lines of, wow, good luck with that.

[Melissa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where I am, is my parents were. There's the fine line of, yeah, we're still your mom and dad, but you're an adult now, and, you know. Yeah, my parents would definitely be the. All right, take care of it. Yeah.

[Bert]

Hey, Katie, welcome to the show. You'll be our last call.

[Caller/Guest]

All right. I was in the same situation two years ago. I mean, it was New Year's Eve, and it was. It was a point 081, and it was ridiculous. But I kept it from my parents. My friends, you know, were able to bail me out. I got my own lawyer. But my advice is just, it's gonna make you feel a whole lot better once your parents find out. They found out because things started getting mailed to their house, and they were just like, what is. What is all this stuff? What are all these lawyers? You know? And I was like, oh, no, no big deal. No big deal. And then finally, once I just. I just sat down with them, and I was bawling my eyes out, but I just said, you know, I'm so sorry, and this is what it was. And. And they just said, okay. Well, you know, they were proud that I had started to handle it, and that was it. But they weren't mad. But they. I don't know, they were glad that I learned my lesson. And you feel a lot better once. Once they know.

[Melissa]

See, the. My first. Yeah. My first reaction to your friend is the fact that I'm impressed that she's. I mean, taking care of it already. You know, she bailed herself out. She's already got the lawyer. She's all, you know, I, I think that I agree with that last call is probably what her parents reaction will be is that, you know what, at least we raised her to be able to know how to handle her, handle herself, you know.

[Wayne]

So no telling of parents.

[Bert]

I kind of agree with Melissa.

[Melissa]

Yeah. I don't understand the reason why it's

[Bert]

grow up time right now.

[Melissa]

Yeah. She's an adult now.

[Bert]

If she's in a situation where she's going to lose her apartment because she can't make her rent because she has to go to DUI school and that costs so much money or her lawyer or whatever, then she may have to go to her parents humbly and say I need you to help me.

[Melissa]

Because I'm not clear on why she does. She wants to ask for money or she just wants to go and be a buddy. Needed her mom as a buddy probably

[Wayne]

just needs the emotional support more.

[Bert]

I understand that but at some point

[Melissa]

you, at some point it's like it's, it's. Yeah, it's grown up time.

[Bert]

You've become so cynical as an old woman, Melissa.

[Melissa]

No, it's, I, it's freeing. I mean I, Yeah, it's freeing. I think the fact that once you realize that you don't have to tell your parents everything and they're, and they're happy for you not to tell them everything, then you're in your own, you're your own person. It's freeing. It's wonderful. I don't think it's a bad thing.

[Frankie]

Get it?

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Bert]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the strawberry Watermelon refresher and the Mango pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ron Jeremy]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Melissa]

Can you grab one more thing?

[Wayne]

I'll come back up for you at Ameca Insurance.

[Melissa]

We know you'll always find ways to look out for the people you love.

[Wayne]

And with Amica Life Insurance, we'll help

[Melissa]

build a plan to make sure you always can. We're here to help protect the life you've built.

[Wayne]

Really?

[Melissa]

Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Wayne]

Visit amica.com and get a quote.

[Ron Jeremy]

Today

[Bert]

you're on the Vert Show. The story that everybody's been talking about over the past few days is this town home situation out in Decatur. Woman lives in a townhome, and there's a guy that pulls up every day, spends five minutes in the community. He doesn't park in the most convenient spot. She can't see where he goes. She thinks it's this one townhome. She doesn't know if he enters or not. But it's a five minute visit, same time every single day.

[Melissa]

Yeah, well, again.

[Bert]

And we tried to juggle around, we tried to get the interns to go out, but our interns are chickens.

[Melissa]

Well, the thing is, I mean, to be more specific, if you did not hear. Didn't hear the original replay, is the fact that this guy would come the same time, but he would not park at the townhome. He would park somewhere else. He would walk to the townhome and he would kind of look around to see if anybody was watching him. Then he would go behind this row of townhomes to go to this one particular townhouse. And the thought I understood was that he goes into the home for five minutes and then he leaves. And it's like clockwork. He comes in at the same time every morning, parks, walks, goes in for five minutes, leaves, and then gets back in his car and drives away.

[Wayne]

And he wears that leather jacket in. So he wears the jacket going in, and then takes the jacket off when he comes back out to his car.

[Melissa]

And she said that she just started noticing this pattern because he's been doing it all winter long. So this has been months that he's done the same routine Monday through Friday every single day. So we were curious and we sent Frankie out there to go and just be there when he shows up to maybe strike a conversation with him.

[Bert]

And Frankie did have a conversation with him.

[Melissa]

He did.

[Bert]

Frankie is on hold with us. Hey, Frankie, how are you?

[Frankie]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Melissa]

Hey.

[Bert]

Frankie had a conversation with him. And the story will continue on Monday.

[Melissa]

What?

[Bert]

Listen to this story.

[Wayne]

Wait, what?

[Bert]

Listen to what happened.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Frankie]

All right. So he pulled in at 9:45 on the dot, just like every day. I waited till he Walked behind the house. And then I got out, and because it was raining, I had an umbrella. So I pretended I was looking at the front of the townhouses where he parked. And when he came back up, I, you know, asked him. I was like, excuse me, do you live here? And he said, yes. He said he lives in the neighborhood. And I was like, I was looking for a. To buy a townhome in this area and was wondering if, you know, if there are any townhomes here for sale. And he said. He said, yeah, I think so. But he wasn't sure which ones were available or which, you know, which ones were vacant or not. And so I kept drilling him with the questions, trying to figure out who he was, why he was there, but it pretty much stopped it. He wasn't a real estate agent, because if I said I was looking for a home, then, you know, you would think that he would say that, oh, I'm a real estate agent. Here's my card. Nothing like that. He was kind of spam buffish and kind of. Kind of shady about the whole thing. And so we had our conversation. That was pretty much the end of it. And after he left, I walked by the house that he walks into, and there is a real estate lockbox on the front door.

[Bert]

What?

[Frankie]

Yes.

[Bert]

So he's not a real estate agent. There's no houses for sale yet. The house he goes into has lockbox

[Wayne]

on it, which explain why he went through the back, but not why he went.

[Frankie]

The whole thing was just weird. So it's really. It's really bugging me. So I have planned. I'm gonna plan to do a stakeout this weekend and find out if he. If it's just a Monday through Friday or whatever. And I'm gonna find out about the house and everything else, and hopefully I'll have more information for you guys when that gets done.

[Melissa]

Huh?

[Bert]

Now, Frankie, you said that there's stuff in the house, like, last time you saw, like, a table and stuff in

[Melissa]

the house in Brandon.

[Frankie]

Yeah. And it's furnished house.

[Bert]

So what if this is just my thought. I don't know if anybody's ever said anything. What if it's been foreclosed on and he's the old owner of the house, but if it's foreclosed on, you're not allowed. So what does he just go into? He's trying to figure out how to

[Ron Jeremy]

get his stuff back.

[Bert]

Puts his hand on the glass, maybe?

[Melissa]

No, but nobody's brought that up.

[Bert]

It's a good point.

[Frankie]

Just show up for Five minutes. If he was trying to get his

[Bert]

stuff out, maybe he's hoping every day that it's somebody showed the house and left, like, the door unlocked or something like that. Did you happen to notice if the lockbox now wouldn't make a difference? His lockbox is closed. I was gonna say if maybe he opened it.

[Frankie]

No, he goes through the back.

[Melissa]

Yeah. He can't get in the front. If he would get in the. You know, he would get the key out of the lock box.

[Bert]

So when are you. Are you doing the stakeout thing? This weekend or on Monday,

[Frankie]

probably? I would think Monday, because if you

[Bert]

could do it this weekend, we'd like to have you back on Monday. And then we'll get Whitney on, and that will be motivation for Bert to feel healthy and come back in, because this is driving him nuts. I think more than. It's even driving the grand will in the house nuts. More. But we'll. Tracy and I will talk to you off the air, and if you want to do that, man, we're all for it.

[Frankie]

All right, cool, huh?

[Bert]

All right, cool. Thank you so much for all the help up to this point.

[Frankie]

Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll talk to you guys soon.

[Bert]

All right, cool. Thanks, Frankie.

[Melissa]

All I know is this guy's doing something he's not supposed to be doing.

[Wayne]

Yeah, I think so, too. Especially if he's standoffish and going through the back in a lockbox on the house.

[Melissa]

We have busted him, but we don't know what we've busted him for.

[Bert]

We got you.

[Melissa]

We got you. I don't know what it is, but we got you. Is there something you need to.

[Wayne]

Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do?

[Bert]

That's what Frankie should have done is just walked up and goes, sir, is there something you need to tell me right now?

[Melissa]

Oh, that would have been perfect.

[Bert]

It's gonna be a lot easier if you just tell me right now rather than waiting for it all to come down.

[Wayne]

Right.

[Bert]

Well, maybe the. Maybe he got busted for a DUI and he had all of his mail sent to that house so his parents

[Ron Jeremy]

didn't find out about it.

[Bert]

He's just going to pick up the. Listen, it's the Bird show.

[Frankie]

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[Frankie]

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[Bert]

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[Frankie]

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[Bert]

players for American American Players, Spin Quest is a free to play social casino Boyd where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

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[Ron Jeremy]

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