Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 22 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 22 [Vault]

Date: July 22, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Bert Show crew
Format: Morning radio show, call-in segments, panel discussions

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Episode Overview

In this classic Bert Show vault episode, the crew delivers their trademark blend of humor, authenticity, and real-life drama. The show moves from a cheeky Hollywood gossip guessing game, through relatable family mishaps, to a deeply candid conversation on infidelity and tense group dynamics, before delving into a raw and necessary dialogue about homophobia, community perceptions, and evolving social norms. Signature Bert Show banter—including the team’s irreverent takes on viral commercials—keeps the show light, even as it tackles big subjects.

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Segment 1: Hollywood’s Most Well-Endowed (00:43–04:30)

Theme: Playful caller competition—guess the five Hollywood men rumored to be best known for their “junk.”

• Listeners call in to guess the five men, generally hitting four of the list, always missing the elusive fifth.
  • Repeated guesses: Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, David Spade, Tommy Lee, Steve Martin, Wilmer Valderrama, Brian Austin Green, Wolf Blitzer (jokingly).
• Panelists joke about the guesses, with humorous riffs and innuendo.
  • “If your name's Wolf Blitzer and you get naked in front of a girl and there's nothing there, you’re like, disappointed.” – Co-host (01:59)
• Hint for the missing fifth: Youngest of five siblings, not the usual suspect.
  • “The last person on the list then is the youngest of five. He has four siblings.” – Host (05:05)

Memorable moment:
“It’s almost like Paula Deen calling in on a game like this.” – Host (03:01)

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Segment 2: Bert's Wine Glass Catastrophe (05:17–09:00)

Theme: Family storytime—Bert shares a relatable parenthood disaster.

• Bert recalls shopping for Mother's Day gifts with his son, Hayden.
• At a store (Swoozies), Hayden tries reaching for a wine glass, triggering a domino effect—multiple wine glasses shatter loudly.
  • “His elbow hits one of the bottom ones and it is a chain reaction—a domino effect of glasses.” – Host (07:41)
• Staff and fellow customers are cool, no requirement to pay.
• Bert reflects on parental embarrassment and relief.

Memorable quote:
“The loudness of the shattering of that glass one after the other will always be in my head now.” – Host (08:47)

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Segment 3: Listener “Mark’s” Group Affair Dilemma (10:21–19:05)

Theme: Real-life drama and advice—friend discovers affair in his social group.

• Mark finds compromising photos of two friends (one married, one not) in an affair; debates whether to say anything.
  • “I am wiping the computer clean, which I have already done. I'm giving the computer back to her, not saying anything to her about it. But I am going to say something to my guy friend, my boy.” – Mark (11:12)
• Panelists and callers weigh in: Is it better to be true to oneself or keep group harmony?
  • “At least you're being true to yourself is basically what she's saying also.” – Host (18:43)
• Mark wants to absolve himself, even if it risks friendships.
• Callers provide mixed opinions: Some say don’t get involved; others encourage full honesty.

Notable exchange:
“I know you think you're doing like the right and just thing, but if you're gonna do this, you might as well go big because you're losing everything. Go ahead and ask for money, blackmail the guy, but you’re losing all these people if you do this, buddy.” – Caller Matt (15:34)

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Segment 4: Public Gay Proposal Experiment & Homophobia in Community (20:45–35:14)

Theme: Social experiment and tough conversation—role-play breaks open deep talk on discomfort, homophobia, and race.

• Producers brainstormed a bit: Would bystanders react the same to a public gay proposal as they do to a straight one?
• Intern Carl is approached to “fake propose” to another male intern for the experiment, but he refuses—sparking a roundtable on homophobia, masculinity, and community standards.
  • “That's just not my cup of tea, baby.” – Intern Carl (23:02)
  • “Most men are way more homophobic than women are.” – Co-host (24:40)
• Honest, sometimes uncomfortable admissions about anxieties, social repercussions, and personal boundaries.
• Panel discusses whether Carl’s discomfort equates to homophobia, the lessons from being ‘othered,’ and the need for cultural evolution.
• Caller Wayne challenges Carl’s rationale:
  • “You sound so homophobic and you say you don't understand what that means... it's offensive...because you see me lesser than.” (28:38)
• A bisexual Black male caller adds needed context about being LGBTQ+ in the Black community—a “white disease,” deeply stigmatized, challenging to come out.

Standout quote:
“In the black community, as far as my experience goes, being homosexual is considered a disease. It’s a white disease of behavior. And we don’t, you know, and it also makes you less of a man to be considered, even openly.” – Bisexual Black male caller, Surge (31:04)

Other highlights:

• Conversation acknowledges the difficulty in shifting social scripts both racially and around sexuality.
  • “You expect white people to evolve in their perception of black people... you're expected to do the same.” – Co-host (30:40)
• Surge (caller) shares the fear but also the commitment to being honest about his identity.

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Segment 5: Legendary Local TV Commercials (36:47–41:00)

Theme: Light-hearted pop culture commentary—Bert Show’s “Hall of Fame” local TV ad review.

• The panel recaps their favorite hilariously awkward local commercials:
  • The Red House: “Where black people and white people buy furniture... and Hispanic people too.” (37:51–38:11)
  • Montgomery Flea Market: “It’s just like a mini mall” song and dance. (38:24–39:19)
  • Butt Drugs: Unintended puns galore—“Free parking in the rear.” (40:40)
• Group delights in the unintentionally funny, low-budget spots.

Memorable moment:
“Butt Drugs. I love butt drugs.” – Host (40:03)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "It's almost like Paula Deen calling in on a game like this." – Host (03:01)
• "His elbow hits one of the bottom ones and it is a chain reaction, a domino effect of glasses." – Host (07:41)
• “At least you're being true to yourself.” – Host (18:43)
• “Most men are way more homophobic than women are.” – Co-host (24:40)
• “In the black community... being homosexual is considered a disease. It's a white disease of behavior.” – Caller Surge (31:04)
• “Butt drugs. I love butt drugs.” – Host (40:03)
• “Free parking in the rear at butt drugs.” – Host (40:40)

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Key Takeaways

• The Bert Show delivers a seamless blend of irreverent humor and serious social topics—never shying from realness.
• The Hollywood guessing game is a running joke, setting a playful, adult tone.
• The Mark affair segment provides a candid look at the burden of secrets and friendship ethics.
• The conversation about homophobia is honest, sometimes raw, and intersectional, touching on race and the challenge of cultural progression.
• Classic local TV ad humor ties the show together, reminding listeners that laughter and humanity are core to the Bert Show ethos.

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For Further Discussion / Monday Morning Teasers

• Will Mark’s group survive his honesty?
• How will “Surge” be received at work after coming out live on air?
• Does public reaction to same-sex proposals match that of traditional ones?

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This summary highlights the Bert Show’s blend of comedy, listener connection, and real talk—perfect for those seeking both entertainment and substance in their morning radio.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Caller/Listener]

BGW Group Void.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

We're prohibited by law. See terms and conditions 21 plus the Birch Show. Good morning, Jason. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

How are you doing?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Good. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm great.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, man.

[Caller/Listener]

I think I've got the answers.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

The guys in Hollywood that are best known for their junk, all right.

[Caller/Listener]

Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, David Spade, and Tommy Lee.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Are you really going for the Lilith Fair tickets? Is that what got you to call in today?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Oh, yeah. Jason, you got four, right?

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, man.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Thank you, sir.

[Caller/Listener]

Thanks.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

But a great guest for sure, because

[Co-host or Panelist]

we've all seen the tape.

[Caller or Guest]

Mm.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

And if that guy's not on the list.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Oh, wow.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

And you hear who number five is, you're gonna be like, wow, that's something I want to see. Hey, Julie. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hello?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hello?

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, are you ready?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I'm ready.

[Caller/Listener]

I've got Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, David Spade, and Wolf Blitzer.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Ew.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Come on, now.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I hope you're not right.

[Caller or Guest]

Really?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Did you really listen to Jeff?

[Caller/Listener]

It was off the beaten path, so that's way off.

[Co-host or Panelist]

And did you really listen to Jeff and his in his hint earlier?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You're in a different continent.

[Co-host or Panelist]

If your first name is Wolf and your last name is Blitzer, you have to be hungry.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Totally. I agree with you. I agree. But, like, if you.

[Co-host or Panelist]

If your name's Wolf Blitzer and you get naked in front of a girl and there's nothing there, you're like, disappointed.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Julie, you got four, right? All right, bye. Bye.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Am I right, Melissa?

Yeah, you're right.

Jeff.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

404, 741Q100. Hey, Patrick. Patrick.

[Caller/Listener]

Say Jimmy Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher, David Spade, and Jesse James.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You got four, right, my friend?

[Caller/Listener]

Okay. Thank you very much.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Thank you.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Haven't heard much from her since she did that Wanted song again.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

We are looking for the. The men in Hollywood that are the most well endowed. Here is Vicki. Good morning. You are on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi. Hi. I think I've got it.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Okay, do your thing.

[Caller/Listener]

David Spade, Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ashton Kutcher and Steve Martin.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Steve Martin.

Sierra.

Now, she had such a sweet Southern accent. I don't think you should even be playing this game. It's, like, too gross for you.

[Caller/Listener]

I wanna tell Melissa Hob from Nashville,

[Co-host or Panelist]

Tennessee, hey, go balls. It is.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

It's almost like Paula Deen calling in on a game like this.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Paula Deen would guess.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, if Paula Deen was making the same guesses that you made, I would tell her that she got four. Right. They're sorry to disappoint you. I'm sorry.

[Co-host or Panelist]

See y'.

[Caller or Guest]

All.

[Co-host or Panelist]

See y' all later.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

A holes.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You're not too good at this.

7. You're terrible at it, Jeff. What?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Jada, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, Bert Show.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

What's going on?

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, we got the five.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, this is over. Jada's gonna get it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're done.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Finally. Let's do it.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay. Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, David Spade, and Wilbur Del Bernardo. Whoever. Faz was on the 70s show.

[Commercial Announcer]

Who?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Wilmer. Ah, that would explain why he gets all those hotties for El Jada. You got four, right way.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Nope, you still got four.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Sorry about that.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, bye. Bye.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Bye. All right, one more today, then we're gonna have to move on to tomorrow. Alicia, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Hey.

[Caller/Listener]

I want to make my guess.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Okay, Alicia, it is up to you to end this thing today.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

All right.

[Caller/Listener]

Ashton Kutcher, Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio, David Spade, and Brian Austin Green.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Brian Austin Green. How's a guy like that get Megan Fox?

[Co-host or Panelist]

The Megan Fox theory.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

That's right. I will give you four of five.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, thank you.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Okay, bye.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Bye.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, Jen. Okay, you're going to be the lifeline.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay, so this is a clue on the last guy on one guy on the list.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Because it's random. It's not a guy that you would immediately think of in the same category, celebrity wise, probably as those other four. So I kind of feel like we need to give you a nugget.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, we're kind of confirming the pattern anyway.

Everybody knows four of them, right?

You know what I'm saying? By giving a Clue on one. We're kind of confirming the four.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Yeah, I think that's pretty. That's the given now.

[Co-host or Panelist]

We're kind of at that point. Okay, well, this last person on the list then is the youngest of five. He has four siblings.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Four siblings and has. And is the youngest of five.

[Co-host or Panelist]

He's the youngest of five.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Okay. It's just a little bit of a nugget.

[Caller/Listener]

It.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I thought you would name isn't good.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right. And if we don't get one again tomorrow, then Jen will give you another clue. But this one, the last one's gonna be a little. A little more difficult. Okay. The bird show. Hayden I Saturday morning, we get up, and May for me is special occasion month. I mean, it's like all in May, man. I got Mother's Day's coming up in a couple of weeks. Guys know that my wife's birthday is coming up. Our anniversary is in this month, and Hollis's birthday is in May also. So there's just a whole bunch of things going on. So I get up Saturday morning, I'm like, let's get a jump on this. Hey, why don't you get in the car with me? Let's go ahead. Let's go shopping for your mom for Mother's Day and for her birthday also. We'll knock this out today. So we go out, we do some shopping for her on the way home. I remember, man, we got to get a card, you know? So we head on over to Swoozies, which is going out of sale right now. I mean, yeah, they're going out of business. They're all signs all over the place now say going out of business. Everything must go blah, blah, blah, blah. It's a bit of a cluster in Susies right now. But we go in there and I get the cards. And as we're on our way out, Hayden sees some glasses that he thinks his mother would love for either her birthday or Mother's Day. And they're wine glasses. He doesn't know the difference between a wine glass and a regular glass, but

[Co-host or Panelist]

they say he just knows that's the one Mommy's always holding. Hey, Daddy. Mommy always has one of those in the morning, but this one's bigger. She'll like it better. She won't have to fill it up as much.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

That's not true. Mommy drinks right out of the bottle. So at Suzy's, they have one section that is. There must have been 50 wine glasses, and they're all stacked. So you've got wine glass on the Bottom with wide mouth, you know, like. And then on top of that is just a panel of glass.

[Caller/Listener]

And.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

And there are more wine glasses on top of that than another pan of glass. And they're all stacked up, right.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Oh, no.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You know where this is? You know where this is going. The seven year old, right? Oh, gosh. So Hayden decides that he sees one that he really likes and it's just a little bit out of his reach. But he goes for the stretch anyway, goes for the top.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Now where are you when this is happening?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Right next to him. I mean, I'm almost watching the whole. It's like time stood still. Like, I could see it happening slow motion. I'm like, I'll get that foot. And as I was saying, I'll get that for you.

[Co-host or Panelist]

It's like when you're watching your own keys get locked in your car. Like the doors going or when you

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

drop them in a sewer or something or down a gun or how they go so slowly. See his hand reach up for it and I'm reaching for his hand to sort of like knock it away like a basketball player would a basketball. And I got there just a split second too late. He goes for the top wine glass. His elbow hits one of the bottom ones and it is a chain reaction, A domino effect of glasses.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Nice and quiet.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Right in the middle of swoozies falling, shattering one after the other after this chain reaction. Like five or six wine glasses right in the middle of swoop. And that's loud.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Did he start crying?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

It was so loud. I gotta tell you. Like, everybody turned that was in the store to us.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Oh, no.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

And I have one glass in my hand that's half broken. And I'm just standing there. I'm laughing at this point. And no, Hayden was laughing because I was laughing and everybody was really pretty cool about it. But I was just thinking because old school mentality is if you bust something, you gotta break it, you buy it. Yeah, you. You gotta buy it. So I'm thinking 120 bucks here. But they were totally cool about it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

They didn't make you buy it.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

They didn't make us buy it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, maybe that's why they're going out of business.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I think they're going out of business.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Inventory. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. But the. The loudness of the shattering of that glass one after the other will always be in my head now.

[Co-host or Panelist]

It's like ringing.

Echo.

[Caller/Listener]

Echo.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You can hear it outside the bird show.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six. All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

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[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so. Fire six. All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

The bird show. All right, so let's get Mark back on here. Very typical. Not taking our advice.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, some of our advice.

We are 50. 50. We are class felt long.

I felt like 75. 25 maybe. But some people said for. For him to say something.

I definitely did.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Just the. The gist of it here is that he found out that two people in his social group are having an affair right now. One of them is married. And the choice was, do I just let this go, it's their problem, or do I talk to somebody about it? Somebody in the group. And I think this weekend, Mark's going in.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay.

Okay.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Mark, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller or Guest]

Good morning. How's it going?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Good morning.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You got that rough weekend ahead of you, don't you?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah. Okay, so. So this is my. This is what I'm going to do.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Okay.

[Caller or Guest]

As you know, I had this stuff on the computer. I am wiping the computer claim, which I have already done. I'm giving the computer back to her, not saying anything to her about it. But I am going to say something to my guy friend, my boy. I'm going to say something to him about the pictures being on there. And we're also supposed to. Over the weekend, we're all supposed to hang out together, you know, his wife and all of us and the whole group of us. At one point over the weekend, we're all gonna be together. So he's gonna know. And, you know, I just Feel like I need to let him know what's

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

going on now at this gathering this weekend, is not only your friend and his wife supposed to be there, but is Computer Mistress woman supposed to be there also?

[Caller or Guest]

He's supposed to be there. A couple of other people in our circle supposed to be there, you know, so it's gonna be like our normal clique hanging out, and you're gonna.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Do you think you'll be able to keep it together and, like, be cool and not talk about it? Or, like, do you think you're gonna act weird around the Computer Girl or you're gonna act weird around his wife?

[Caller or Guest]

I probably act more weird around his wife than I would Computer Girl because

[Caller/Listener]

I kind of.

[Caller or Guest]

I kind of, like, have an attitude with Computer girl, so I'm not really concerned with her. It's more so his wife. But I'm gonna let him know and, you know, and I'll be done with it at that point. See what happens. I feel that Computer Girl is going to find some other route, you know, other than using me to do what she wants to do.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Right. I think we said that last time, too, that she's determined.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah. Do you think that you'll be less weird around them by saying something to them?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah. You know, it will give me a feeling like, well, okay, at least I tried to do something to get it off my chest. So I won't, you know, I won't feel like I'm backed up with it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Do you think Computer Girl is going to share the information with the wife over the weekend at the gathering?

What information?

About the pictures. Like, just confront the wife about it because they're going to be together. Right? In the same room?

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, yeah, we're all gonna be together at the same place. So I don't know if she will or not, but they won't be on that computer. So I. If she has them on her phone or whatever. Possibly, but I don't know.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So essentially, you're protecting your friend, but you're also letting them know what's going on. Because even if Computer girl confronts wifey and your friend, your friend can deny it, say it never even happened. Well, you show me proof. And what you're basically doing is you're erasing all that, so there is none. So you're protecting him, but you're also letting him know that you know.

[Caller or Guest]

Right. Provided she doesn't have pictures somewhere else, like on her cell phone or something.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But I would even let the friend know before the gathering because what if that is her intention? Because they know they're all going to be together this weekend. You've got to let them know beforehand. Because if she moved that information from her computer to the phone, then that's easy.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I think that's what he's planning on doing.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Anything. I don't think the computer girl's going to say anything. I think she likes having this information. She just sort of was dangling it in front of you, you know? I think, though, the question you have to ask yourself, okay, so you go to your buddy and you tell him, hey, I know about this. I know this is going on with the intention that he stops. But then what if he doesn't stop? Then you're sort of in the midst of it and you know what's going on and you're still hanging out in your group.

But he's told him so that he's

like sort of absolved of any responsibility.

[Caller or Guest]

Yeah, that gives me a clear head to say, well, okay, look, I did what I could do to try and get him to do the right thing or whatever he needs to do, and I'm done with it, you know, so if something happens with it, something happens with it, but, you know, my part is over.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Are you gonna be able to hang out with them, though?

[Caller or Guest]

That's. I don't. I don't know how it's gonna go. I mean, if I gotta bail early on where we're at, then I'll have to bail early.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I don't see you in good conscience being able to hang out. Even if, when you tell him, if your buddy decides to keep this relationship going, you're going to avoid all of them at all costs because you're living with this lie. Here's Matt. He thinks you're making a bad decision this weekend. Go on, Matt.

[Caller/Listener]

Mark, I got to tell you, man, I know you think you're doing like the right and just thing, but if you're gonna do this, you might as well go big because you're losing everything. Go ahead and ask for money, blackmail the guy, but you're losing all these people if you do this, buddy.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So you think he's going to lose his friend if he mentions it?

[Caller/Listener]

I mean, the first thing friends going to do is deny. He's going to call him a liar, and then Mark's going to be that guy who tried to break up the circle of friends by saying something. And I mean, it's. It's a backfire right off the bat, man. There's nothing that could go good with this.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, if I was going the route that Mark was going. And that's true. Then I think that I could live with the decision that I was true to myself. I did the right thing. The repercussions I didn't have any control over. But I'm not the one that started this whole situation. And that sucks that I lost my friend. But at least you were true to yourself. Know what I'm saying? It's like a. Mm.

[Co-host or Panelist]

What's an absolution that Jen was talking about? Like, you've.

You've sort of done what you feel like you need to do.

But then I wonder, I mean, if you approach him, will he lose his friend? If he's saying, dude, I just gotta let you know she's got these pictures on her computer. But I erased him. Like, I'm not sure that the friend's gonna. He won't, you know, break up with him.

They'll just hide it from him better, you know?

But it's the friend and the. And the computer lady. They're.

[Caller or Guest]

It's.

[Co-host or Panelist]

They're. They're the ones with the responsibility. They're the ones that have broken up this circle of friends.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Diane. Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. Hi. I love your show. I just wanted to say I do support him. I know it's a tough thing to do. He's being true to himself. I think he should go ahead and do it for his guy friend. If anything, at least he'll let him know this girl has pictures and she's being loose with them. So he needs to one, either stop or be careful.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

This may freak out the friend of yours because he may realize there's evidence out there that his wife could have access to eventually.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But I want to go back to something, Bert, you had said in the past about proof, having proof in front of you. Now, if you erase. And now I'm going to the caller. If you erase these pictures and don't have anything to show your friend, I mean, is that a mistake? Or should you have had the proof to show him? Like, look, dude, this is what I found.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I'd need to see it for me personally.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You need to see those pictures.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I need to see it because I just don't think that my wife's capable of that.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But he's showing the guy who's in the picture, right? The guy knows the.

Well, he said he cleared the computer. I'm wondering if he's going to the friend and saying, look, I saw these pictures, or is he showing his friend the pictures he saw?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

But he's saying the guy's in the picture.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

It doesn't matter that he knows the picture was taken.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, the guy is okay.

That's why I'm asking, because Burt said he has to see it, so I just wondered if this guy needs to see it, too.

But it would be. It's two different scenarios that would have to see it in that scenario.

Okay.

You know what I'm saying? The right analogy would be the wife not believing the husband could do it unless she saw the pictures.

Okay.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Missy. Good morning. You're on the Burke Show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, I agree with Mark 100%. He's a grown man. He didn't do anything. He found the pictures. He wants to absolve himself with. Anything that's going on, I'll tell my boy about it. If it doesn't work out, that's not my fault. I've done what I needed to do. The wife can't be mad at him. The girl can be, but who cares? And his friend, if he's mad at him, he's not a true friend.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So at least you're being true to yourself is basically what she's saying also. All right, Mark.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Good luck, Sticky.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

We got to talk to you on Monday morning, and then we'll try to

[Co-host or Panelist]

find you some new friends.

We probably want some because if your friends all sleeping together, it's not fun to be around him anyway.

Unless you get in on it.

[Caller or Guest]

I'll pass on that one.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, Mark, we'll talk to you Monday morning. Okay. Okay, guys, thanks for sharing the story with us. Hey, the Bird show

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

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[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law cts and c's 21 plus sponsored by chumba casino the third show. All right, so here was our experiment. I mean, we've all seen this play out, either live or in a Movie or on YouTube or whatever. When. When a dude publicly proposes marriage to a woman and she says yes, it's the same response over and over and over again.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Oh, cheers and claps. We even tested it out. We even tested it out a few years ago in the coffee shop. I mean, you know, first thing in the morning, it was live and it was Phil Turano, right? And Tracy proposing to producer Tracy. And he got claps and cheers and everybody so proud. Just warms everyone's heart.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Oh, look at that.

[Co-host or Panelist]

He loves her.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, now things are different. You can have life partners. You get married in some states here. So we thought, okay, let's just test this reaction. If a man proposes a life partnership to another man, will we get the same reaction? So that was the premise behind this whole thing.

[Caller or Guest]

Right?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, so let's talk to the players that we thought would be great during this whole role play. And let's bring Carl up here, producer Carl, for a second. All right, so now, I wasn't here for this conversation. What staff member initially proposed this idea to you?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

It was Tracy Trace. And it went down like this. You sent the saying, come talk to me. I have something I want to ask you, a segment I want you all to do. And I think it said something like, you know. No, she. When I got over there, she said, if you want to do it. And I thought to myself, there's nothing. I'm a team player. I'm down like four flat tires, y'.

[Caller or Guest]

All.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

There's nothing I won't do. I couldn't think of nothing that she would ask me that I wouldn't do.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Right.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Smack me right in the face with this question.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, so why.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah, I mean, what's the problem?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, you got it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

What was the question that she asked you?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

The question is. No, she said, I want you and intern Brandon to go out and act as if you all are Gay and want to know one of you all to propose to each other.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, okay.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And then I took a step back, like, okay, now hold on a second. Don't jump too fast at this, because, you know, I'm dealing with more. I'm dealing with everything, right?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I want to know what you're dealing with. What's going through your head?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I'm dealing with like, okay, hold on a second. No, no. Some things I will do, something I just won't. And that's just one thing I won't do.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, you got to tell us why. Why is that like, you're lined in the sand?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

No, I don't have any problems with gay folks and everything, you know, I don.

[Caller/Listener]

You know, look at Melissa.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And he got me right next to Melissa, too, right? I don't have any problem. I love gay women and all that, you know, gay guys, you know, do your thing. That's just not my cup of tea, baby.

[Co-host or Panelist]

It's just like me saying, you know what? I'm all right with black people. I'm kind. I'm all right. You know what? I got a few black friends. It's fine. But you know what? This whole freaknik thing and all, you know, I don't want to be around black people. I just. I'm okay with them now.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I'm around gay folks all the time.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You're real close to me right now. She's looking right at you.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And I've even mingled with them before. You know, I have plenty. I have gay friends, you know?

[Co-host or Panelist]

But no, but seriously, though, I. I touched one once.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Did you? Uhhuh.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I touched. I swear to God, I touched a gay person. I didn't know it at the time, but I was like. I shook their hand. And then afterwards, Melissa's like, you know, he's gay.

[Commercial Announcer]

And I'm like, shut up.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

What's really weird, the next day, he got his hair lightened.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

But you know what I thought about, though? When. When there was a. About a week ago, Jeff wouldn't say I love you to Burt. Dude has moral. Dude has a line, right?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

No, that's just.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Cause he does his line.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Did you just say dudes have morals?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I said, dude has. You know, he has his line.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I thought I heard morals slip out before the line.

I want to know.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

But if you propose to Brandon, intern Brandon in public, that doesn't make you gay.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Listen, man, it's nothing that you could say. Nothing that nobody could say do.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I'm just trying to get into your

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

head just to get nothing. I don't feel bad about it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I flipped the coin on you. Would you have taken it?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I could have done it, yeah. I would have had no problem doing it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I think the only reason that.

Really.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

No problem.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I would have thought either you or Jeff would have had trouble doing it.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I know me, I wouldn't be bothered by it. Not even a little bit.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Most men are way more homophobic than women are.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

I would agree with that.

But for me, it's, like, freaked out around lesbians. I prefer gay men to straight men.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And I've always wondered, what is that? Homophobic? What does that really mean? Like, am I scared of gays? I don't really understand that term. Well, you.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, I would be right now.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Look at Melissa staring at you.

No, I'm just trying to listen. I'm listening.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Look your way, Jeff.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I just. I'm just listening.

It just seems like you're scared of the perspective or people's perspective of you being gay.

So lucky nobody thought you were gay.

Who cares?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Oh, really?

[Caller or Guest]

Okay.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

That's how y' all feel?

[Co-host or Panelist]

That's a little bit.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah. I mean, that's how you feel.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I don't feel like that.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You'd be embarrassed if somebody thought you were gay.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

It's not true. I'm.

[Caller/Listener]

If.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Then why wouldn't you do the bit?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I didn't want to.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Why?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I didn't feel comfortable. But why?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Yeah, we're trying to get at why.

[Caller/Listener]

Just.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I mean, because people would have perceived you as gay for a couple of seconds and that really would have bothered you.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah, that bothers me. That bothers me.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

But even though you're not gay, you're straight.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah. That's cool.

[Co-host or Panelist]

So it can't be like. Cause I think.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Am I homophobic?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yes.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yes.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I think you're absolutely homophobic.

[Caller or Guest]

Really?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Well, I don't know. You can call me what you want, but just.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I mean, really, I think you really are gay.

[Caller or Guest]

I wonder.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Now. That doesn't bother me, though.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Is it an insecurity in your own sexuality or is it. I don't know, like, where does homophobia come from? Is it a fear? Like, why are you scared of being labeled gay?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

You know what it is?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Why are you scared of being.

For guys, it's fourth grade, but it's an insult.

You don't want to be teased or taunted.

But why?

Because, like, you're insecure about your own straightness. You're not. You're straight as a cop.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

But it's more than that, though.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I don't know. You Take that. It goes a little further with you. You know, it's just not. I mean, I can't break it down right here in the next five seconds. I just know that I wasn't comfortable with doing it. I wasn't gonna do it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I appreciate you being honest. That's what I think. We're just. We're not trying to.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I don't think he's being honest, though.

[Co-host or Panelist]

We're just trying to get to the bottom of it. He said I was uncomfortable with him

being honest about it.

Because you can't define why he was uncomfortable.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

You know what makes me uncomfortable? You know, it really makes me not. Not being around gay people. That doesn't make me. What makes me uncomfortable is those real flashy gay dudes. And when I'm downtown and they try to talk to me and they don't, you know, that right there really makes me uncomfortable. I'm not cool with that.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

But what is that. What is that. What does that say about you? Like, why does that scare you? Why are you uncomfortable?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I'm not scared by it. It's just.

[Co-host or Panelist]

They're not hitting on you.

I'm fascinated by it.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I've been hit on before.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, I. The thing that makes me uncomfortable and yes, offends me is the fact that any minority saying anything because you don't have the right to tell somebody else not to stereotype a race and you know that. To judge you and who don't know you and then turn around and say, the flashy gay guys. I don't want them to touch me. No, that's why. That's what bothers me is. Is.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Well, I wouldn't want anybody to touch me, to be honest with you. I don't. I mean, it's like any stranger shouldn't be touching me.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But I'm just saying. But I mean. But we know. Let's be honest, we know what he's saying.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

No, it's like they impose it. It's like they impose their. Their sexuality on me sometimes. You know, not just me, but it's like when they're out there just being real, you know, real dramatic. It's like imposing when it's towards me. Not. Not when they're doing it on them own. When they're doing it on their own. I'm not saying that. I'm saying when it's directed towards me.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But how do you. But is it really. Is it directed towards you or is it just like a weird paranoia thing?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

A lot of it's been directed towards me, which makes Me uncomfortable now when it's being done.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Do you think it's directed towards you because they know it makes you uncomfortable?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Probably.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I do think sometimes, yeah.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

I would say that because I've. In my single days, I've tried to talk to women that didn't want to be talked to. You know, I've tried. I've, like, pushed the envelope. So I know guys kind of pushed it, you know, push the envelope at times.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So if it was a woman that was all flamboyant and came up to you, same situation, would that bother you at all?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

What?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Yeah, but she's flamboyant with. Yeah, it's uncomfortable, you know.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Wayne.

[Caller/Listener]

This morning presents.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Wayne, go ahead.

[Caller/Listener]

I. I disagree with Carl, and I like, I love this show. First of all, guys, you guys are wonderful.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

And Carl, man, you just sound. You sound so homophobic and you say you don't understand what that means. It just seems like, you know, like you don't want it. If people just like anybody else and they're attracted to you, you should be. You. You should feel like it's a thing that a male is attracted you, but you don't have to welcome, you know, their, Their, you know, their, Their offer. You know, you could deny it, like, you know, someone gives you extra price. No, thank you. I'm good today. Thank you. I do go on about your business,

[Co-host or Panelist]

but if you're kidding, you can accept it. You can accept it and you can probably work out in a regular.

But it's just the message of. Of it's lesser than a message of. It's is so gross and it's so bad, and it's so, you know, whatever the, Whatever the adjective is, you just can't be part of it. You know what I mean? And that's, that's the message it's sending. And it's, you know, and yeah, it's offensive. It's because. Because you see me lesser than.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

No, not at all. But you know what? Working up here, speaking with you, and when we work with. When I work with dj, intern, dj, just working with people like that, I have to be exposed to it. As a kid in my hood, I wasn't exposed to that. So don't be mad at me, because this is the way that I feel. This is just the way that I feel. I wasn't exposed to it. It wasn't accepted.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Would that be okay for a white kid to say that about being scared of you? Hey, I just grew up in a white neighborhood. I wasn't Exposed to black people. And so I'm scared of you.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

As long as we have a conversation, I can understand. I have no problem with the dude expressing himself and we having some sort of conversation about it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

So if somebody walks away, somebody is on the street and sees you walking and they lock their doors or they walk on the other side of the street from you, you wouldn't be offended?

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Oh, I'm definitely offended. But if they want to have some sort of conversation about it and explain to me why and the reasons why. What. There's been times when. And we've talked about the N word around here, and I think, Jen, you had a. You were kind of surprised that it was still being kind of thrown around so loosely or. And that surprised me because you're not exposed to it. So that really threw me off. Like, damn.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Because I don't think that it's used in the presence of white people.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

But it is as much. And that's all I would say.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Not as much, but all over.

[Caller or Guest]

Right.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But I think the difference is you expect white people to evolve in their perception of black people so that they don't lock their doors and go across the street and do all this stuff. And you're expected to do the same.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And I am.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But I think he said. He is, like you said, hanging out with DJ and you and Bert

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

here. Is that surge. Good morning here on Q100. Hey.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey. Good morning. I love you guys.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

What's up, man? Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

I'm a black man that plays both sides of the fence. You know, I'm bisexual. Now, one of the things that I want to distinguish, first off, is that, you know, we're talking. You bring up the race issue versus the sexual activity issue, and it's a little confusing for black men to deal with that. So one of the things I wanted to mention is that black men do not. First of all, most. I'm not going to typify. All black people come from the ghettos or all black people come from the streets. But we have a lot of challenges against us to begin with. And in the black community, as far as my experience goes, being homosexual is considered a disease. It's a white disease of behavior. And we don't, you know, and it's. It also makes you less of a man to be considered, even openly.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Check this out. You know, without using names, here I was hanging out with a very popular and famous R and B person a couple of weeks ago who told me that he is constantly being invited to play at gay functions. He's A black R and B star. And he can't. He's not homophobic, but he can't do it. Because if he starts to get known in the gay community as being open to playing those events, then people will associate him as gay and he will lose his R B credibility and he'll never work again.

[Caller or Guest]

Right.

[Caller/Listener]

I mean, it's. And when you say that Carl. I don't think Carl's afraid. I don't think there's a fear issue there. I mean, it will create an atmosphere of fear on the outside because it's a behavioral thing. You see all the cues that say he must be scared or something like that. It's not a matter of that. It's a matter of what the social implications are down the road if someone sees him in public with. Proposing to another man. You can't control that information once it starts.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You know, how do we. I mean, how do you. How do you think the black community is going to evolve from that? Because they have to.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I mean, they know it's. You're right. You're absolutely right. They have to. I've had to fight against it most of my life. I mean, I've just outed myself on the radio. So, yeah, I just did it. You know, I'm probably gonna have to deal with that when I get to work, if anybody listens to Q100, but.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So you're gonna have a whole bunch of people saying, did I Hear you on Q100 today?

[Caller/Listener]

Yep.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Wow. You nervous about that?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, you know, it's. I've. I've never actually hidden anything, but I've met. I don't volunteer the information because it's. That's a sexual activity for me. And I don't necessarily make that a public forum, especially at work. But if someone came up to ask me and says, I heard you on Q100, I heard you say some interesting things, I'd say, yeah, that happened. I said it.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

And I gotta say, big up to this dude, man, because like he said, in the black community, it's not a black and white thing all the time, but it's just a reality. You may not understand because you didn't come up in the black community. But I gotta say to this dude, man, big up to you, man. Because it takes a lot to come out in the black community. First of all, it takes a lot to come out as being gay, period. Then in the black community, I gotta say that, man. Cause it's not easy, dude. And you know that.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Wow.

[Caller/Listener]

It's definitely not easy. I've pretty much. I mean, I've gone for both men and women because it's an intellectual thing for me too, that I can be in love with one person or another regardless of their gender. But, you know, most gays would think that's straddling the fence.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I'd be very interested to talk to you on Monday to find out how the conversations went at work and what happens over the weekend and actually check in with you, make sure you're doing okay.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, we'll see what happens. I mean, considering it's a real stodgy firm, you know, there may be people that just don't want to talk about that either.

[Co-host or Panelist]

There may be one guy in the firm who comes up to you and says, hey, listen, hold on the line. Carl's going to get your number. Get it?

[Ryan Seacrest]

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May slow when network is busy. See Terms.

[Commercial Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You're on the Birch Show. I Think we might have our new hall of fame. Local TV commercial.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay, okay.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Now you. You guys remember the legendary. The gold standard of local TV commercials is the Red House.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

And local TV commercials. These are the guys, they can't afford the network or anything like that, so they hire, like, a local company to produce their commercials. And it's usually on channel 128 at 2:30 in the morning. And it's done in a very local, cheesy kind of way. Right. This is our gold standard here. This is a real spot. I think this is North Carolina, right?

[Commercial Announcer]

Camp.

[Caller/Listener]

We all just get along at the Red House. Furniture.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

We can at the Red House.

[Caller or Guest]

I'm Richard, AKA Big Head.

[Caller/Listener]

I work at the Red House and I'm black.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I like pumping iron and pumping furniture into people's homes. I'm Johnny, AKA Teen Gage.

[Caller/Listener]

I work at the Red House and I'm white.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I like deer hunting, bass fishing, and

[Caller/Listener]

extending credit to all people at the Red House.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

I'm black and I love the Red House. I'm white and I love the Red House.

[Caller/Listener]

I'm a black woman and I love the Red House.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I am white, and the Red House

[Commercial Announcer]

is for me at the Red House.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Where black people and white people buy furniture.

[Caller/Listener]

And Hispanic people too.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

All right, so that's the Red House. All right, now, local spot. Montgomery Flea market.

[Commercial Announcer]

Living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, yeah, you can find them at the market. We talking about flea market.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

One dude on camera. And they're flashing different things in the background on them.

[Commercial Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Different items with us.

[Caller/Listener]

I said flea market. Montgomery. It's just like. It's just like a mini mall.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Hey, hey, you heard me.

[Caller/Listener]

Come shop, bedrooms, dinettes. We got it. You need it, you'll find it. It's just like.

[Commercial Announcer]

It's just like a mini mall.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, hey, don't stop.

[Commercial Announcer]

Let's make it a dance.

[Caller/Listener]

Come on now. To the left, to the left, to the right, to the right.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Now let's make this a dance.

[Caller/Listener]

Flea market it. Montgomery.

[Commercial Announcer]

It's just like.

[Caller/Listener]

It's just like a Minnie.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

That's the Montgomery Flea Market, right?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Not me anymore.

That's in Montgomery clubs. I'm telling you. All every weekend. No, I'm just kidding.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

So that'll cost you 20 bucks for a spot like that. Then you have on the local drugstore. And the name of the drugstore is B U T T E. Okay? It's Butt Drugs.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Butt or Butte?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

It's Butt. It's Butt Drugs. This is real.

[Caller/Listener]

Uh oh, There's a cry across the Heartland A yearning for the days gone by. And in little old Cordon, Indiana, they're happy and they'll tell you why. They they got butt drugs. They love butt drugs. Ba ba ba.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Butt drugs. I love butt drugs.

[Caller/Listener]

I recommend butt drugs for everybody.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I can always count on butt drugs.

When I think drugs, I think butt drugs.

[Caller/Listener]

For all my health needs, I turn to butt drugs. You want hometown service and cheap hot coffee and liquor?

[Caller or Guest]

Now that's the ticket.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

You can tell Walmart, CVS and Walgreens

[Caller/Listener]

exactly where to stick it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

We love but drugs, but drugs won't let you down.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Free parking in the rear.

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

Of course I love butt drugs.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Of course they do.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Oh, my God, that's great.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Free parking in the rear at butt drugs.

[Caller/Listener]

Of course.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Listen, it's the vert Show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This episode sponsored by Apollo. Still moving deals forward from your desk. With Apollo, you can go to market on the go, find leads, research accounts and launch outreach right Inside Claude and ChatGPT. You can even make calls or research leads from Gmail, your CRM or company websites. So whether you're at the airport or on a coffee run, Apollo works where you work. No more switching tabs or devices. Grow boldly with Apollo, the revenue engine trusted by over 3 million teams. Visit Apollo IO anywhere and start free today. That's Apollo IO anywhere. Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest here. Want to bring a little Hollywood excitement to your day? Take a few spins with Chumba Casino's brand new game, Ryan Seacrest's 10K Ways. It's free and features 10,000 ways to play, giving you nonstop action including thrillers, bonus re spins and cascading reels. Every spin brings something new, so step into the spotlight, enjoy the excitement and play [e-mail].

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

no purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law. CTS and CS21 sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Mom, can you tell me a story?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sure.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Was she brave?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

She was tired mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found

[Intern or Junior Staff Member]

a great car at a great price.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

No secret treasure map required. Did you have to fight a dragon? Nope. She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Was it scary?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

It did, actually. Okay, good story.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Car buying you'll want to tell stories about.

[Host (likely Bert Show or Bird Show Host)]

Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.