Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 8 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 8 [Vault]

Date: July 8, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen Hobby, Melissa, Tyler, Carl, Wendy, Bretzky, Brandon, Interns
Episode Theme: A lively, humorous dive into pop culture, personal stories, listener drama, and group therapy moments—classic Bert Show energy, blending real-life struggles and lighthearted banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show captures everything fans love: playful arguments over NCAA brackets, candid personal confessions, pop culture riffs, listener call-ins, and the ever-popular group therapy segment. The cast moves seamlessly from sharp-witted debates about basketball picks to the complexities of toxic relationships, all while maintaining their signature blend of humor, honesty, and empathy. Noteworthy segments include a breakdown of NCAA March Madness bracket strategy (and failure!), a viral 'Glee' video blog, Jen’s quest to meet Chelsea Handler, a debate over age and relationships, and an intensely raw discussion about “dating Antichrists”—those toxic exes who just won’t stay gone.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

NCAA Bracket Drama: “My Jerome is Flawless—But My Bracket Sucks”

[01:26 – 06:17]

• Brandon opens up about his NCAA Tournament woes:
  • He spent hours researching his bracket, only for three of his final four teams to lose in the first weekend.
  • Laments that casual, unresearched picks (like just picking based on uniform color) often outperform intensive research.
  • Quote (Brandon, 02:31): “I lost three of my final Four teams on the first weekend.”
  • They discuss the meaning of a "Jerome" in office bracket culture (picking all 64 tournament teams), and jab at how women or non-sports fans often outperform hardcore fans with “random” choices.
  • Jen Hobby relates a story about a friend picking football playoff winners based on jersey colors and quarterbacks she found cute—and winning $250.
  • Notable moment (Melissa, 05:05): “It may just mean, Brandon, that guys overthink this. You all know the statistics of everything, and you overthink and you end up, you know, screwing yourself over.”

TV & Pop Culture: Sue Sylvester’s “Swish It Up” Video

[06:17 – 09:54]

• While stuck at home, Jen Hobby becomes a pop culture sponge, watching every TV show under the sun. She introduces a hilarious (and satirical) video blog by 'Glee' character Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch), parodying stereotypes about “sneaky gays.”
• The cast cracks up as they play the clip:
  • Sue Sylvester: “Why, nowadays, sneaky gays are everywhere. At the church, at the mall, picking up their meticulously dressed, fastidious children from daycare.”
  • Sue Sylvester (08:44): “Don't get me wrong, I'll listen to your music... but know that Sue Sylvester ain't gonna be satisfied until you swish it up a bit... because if I can't tell who's gay, how will I know who to judge?”
• The group highlights Jane Lynch's real-life openness and how brilliant, biting, and meta the humor is.

Jen’s Quest to Meet Chelsea Handler

[12:01 – 18:04]

• Jen Hobby is determined to meet Chelsea Handler, but her efforts fall short—despite reaching out through all possible contacts and venues.
• Listener Ashley calls in offering Jen a spot in the “press area” at Chelsea’s upcoming book signing, potentially allowing more time for interaction.
• Jen debates the dangers of being perceived as a fan rather than a potential friend.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Intern (15:11): “If we are destined to be best friends, I can't be a fan...”
  • Ashley (16:49): “The deal with 1 through 5 is that you get to sit in what they term the press area. You get to hang out with Chelsea. She's gonna spend a few more minutes with those people taking pictures, chatting, drinking coffee.”

Listener Email: The "Creeper" Spring Break Debate

[18:15 – 22:51]

• The crew revisits a previous show where intern Bianca dubbed a solo, older man on a spring-break party cruise as a “creeper.”
• They receive a fiery, late-night, alcohol-fueled email from a listener—Greg Mills—accusing them of age discrimination and being hypocritical.
• Dramatic Reading (Bretzky as Greg Mills, 20:58):
  “You condone and ferment homosexuality with your colleague Melissa Carter, and yet you liken an older guy on a spring break boat to a brain-eating mass murderer just because he's an older guy... Are you so stupid? I am outraged beyond belief that you could have the unmitigating gall to go up against a man on air simply because of his age. Screw you. And screw the horse you rode in on, you sanctimonious...”
• Panelists laugh at the email’s intensity, try to unpack its more bizarre lines, and reaffirm that it’s less about age and more about context and behavior.

Group Therapy: “Dating Antichrist” — Wendy’s Toxic Ex Returns

[26:36 – 41:57]

• Signature segment. Wendy’s “dating Antichrist”—her emotionally abusive ex—is moving back to town, reigniting old traumas and anxieties.
• The group supports Wendy, drawing on their own relationship scars and wisdom:
  • Wendy (29:00): “I’m literally petrified at the fact that he’s coming back in town because he was the one, one of the most manipulative guys in my life. Always drew me back. I didn’t see my family for a year. I lost all my friends.”
  • Jen Hobby (32:54): “You sound like an abusive wife....just because somebody’s not throwing punches doesn’t mean you’re not in an abusive relationship.”
• Listeners call in with both support and cautionary tales. Linda shares how staying with her own “Antichrist” destroyed her self-esteem and quality of life.
• The crew emphasizes: nostalgia for “good times” is dangerous, and the urge to go back often stems from loneliness or financial strain, not genuine affection.
• Takeaway (Caller Kara, 34:32): “They don’t change. Trust me. No matter how many times you go back, it’s never going to change. You gotta move on.”
• Panel urges Wendy to take control, suggesting practical strategies (change numbers, block contacts).
  • Jen Hobby (41:30): “You gotta put your big girl panties on and take control of your life, girl.”

“How to Be a Player”: The Four Types of Women in a Player’s World

[44:00 – 51:13]

• Producer Carl educates the team (tongue-in-cheek) about the “depth chart” for women in a player’s dating life, as popularized by hip hop culture and movies like "How to Be a Player":
  • Wifey: The “main” girl, irreplaceable, but still cheated on.
  • Baby Girl: Hopes to become wifey, social, but ultimately replaceable.
  • Side Piece: The reliable late-night hookup; “knows the deal.”
  • Jump Off: Nearly anonymous, spontaneous hookup, may never be seen again.
• The panel gamely jokes about which roles are familiar or “hit close to home,” and draw parallels to contemporary scandals (Tiger Woods, Jesse James).
• Jen Hobby (50:20): “It’s like a play of depth chart. You got your starter—your wifey, second-stringer—your baby girl, third-stringer—your side piece, and then the jump off.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Brandon on Bracket Luck:
  “That is true. And it doesn't make me better than the girl who picked Cornell just because their nickname is the Big Red and she likes Big Red.” (05:41)

• Sue Sylvester Video Blog Satire:
  “If I can't tell who's gay, how will I know who to judge? And that's how Sue Sees It.” (09:51, Jen Hobby introducing Sue’s monologue)

• Greg Mills’ Furious Email:
  “Screw you. And screw the horse you rode in on, you sanctimonious...” (21:43, dramatized by Bretzky)

• Wendy on Her Abusive Ex:
  “He was the one—one of the most manipulative guys in my life. Always drew me back... I didn’t see my family for a year.” (29:00)

• Caller Linda’s Cautionary Tale:
  “He almost make me feel like the ugliest person ever... I lost 65 pounds within four months just to please him. And he stays the same—he still treated me like crap.” (37:41)

• Jen Hobby’s Empowerment:
  “You gotta put your big girl panties on and take control of your life, girl.” (41:30)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:26] — NCAA Bracket frustrations and gender dynamics in sports predictions
• [06:17] — Pop culture catch-up & ‘Glee’ Sue Sylvester satire
• [12:01] — Jen’s campaign to meet Chelsea Handler; listener Ashley offers help
• [18:15] — Fiery listener email on age discrimination/classic “creeper” debate
• [26:36] — ‘Dating Antichrists’: Wendy’s toxic relationship group therapy
• [44:00] — “How to be a Player” depth chart: wifey, baby girl, side piece, jump off

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Tone & Atmosphere

As ever, The Bert Show is real, raw, and riotously funny. The episode swings from ridiculous, teasing banter to stark honesty about relationships, delivered with warmth and camaraderie—always quick with a joke or a knowing sigh. Even weighty topics are handled with empathy and a touch of self-deprecation.

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For New Listeners

Whether you’re passionate about sports, mired in messy relationships, or just here for the pop culture and laughs, this episode showcases The Bert Show’s ability to be both your morning escape and a sounding board for real life.

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Note: All advertisements, sweepstakes, and intros/outros are omitted from this summary.

Transcript

[Bert]

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[Bretzky]

borhears.com what's up everybody? It's Bretzky. And America is turning 250. And I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games, live crafts, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com Spinquest is a free to play

[Jen Hobby]

social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Burch show all right, intern Brandon here, he's got some beef when it comes to the NCAA basketball tournament here. I understand his frustration, man, because I think Brandon, he's told us before, he's one of these hardcore sports fans, right? So I imagine my fantasy here is that you're one of these dudes that before the tournament started, I mean, you did the research, dude.

[Brandon]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We, I spent a whole lot of time studying game planning. We take our brackets seriously where I come from. You know, we do tournament bracket pools. I, I used to do them in high school. Even teachers used to get involved and it's a big thing for all of us. And then it even started before the bracket. Cause Wendy came in here one day and she's like, yeah, I just put all the number one seeds through the number one for a reason. Jacked up and it's like, no, it's

[Carl]

all about the upsets.

[Brandon]

Like, I knew Cornell was a good team. They have shooters, you know.

[Melissa]

How's your bracket doing there, Brandon?

[Brandon]

Yeah, exactly. Okay. ESPN.com has their bracket tournament challenge.

[Wendy]

Right.

[Bretzky]

Melissa didn't ask if ESPN.com had a bracket tournament.

[Melissa]

Yeah, I'm just with Brandon.

[Bert]

How's your bracket?

[Brandon]

I'm in the 2% aisle.

[Tyler]

You are?

[Brandon]

I lost three of my final Four teams on the first weekend.

[Intern]

Oh, dude. Bummer.

[Jen Hobby]

And you did all this research? All this research?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That research worked. Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Thanks a lot. Northern Iowa. Yeah.

[Wendy]

Who did you have in your Final Four?

[Brandon]

My Final Four consisted of Notre Dame.

[Jen Hobby]

Notre Dame?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Notre Dame was dominant in the beginning of the season. Then Heringoti come, gets injured.

[Wendy]

There's number one.

[Jen Hobby]

You can't really justify it. They got eliminated.

[Brandon]

I know.

[Melissa]

So Notre Dame.

[Brandon]

I had Notre Dame, Kansas. Thanks. Northern Iowa. I kind of went homer and put Florida State through.

[Jen Hobby]

You knew Florida State wasn't going to the punchline.

[Brandon]

Hold on, let me justify this.

[Bretzky]

If we were having this conversation three weeks ago, and he was saying northern Iowa, and we say, who's your Final Four?

[Brandon]

Northern, Cornell, Butler, Xavier.

[Bretzky]

We think he's a hero right now.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Florida State has size, and that's a. That's a problem for Syracuse. You saw that last night.

[Tyler]

You're.

[Melissa]

You're trying. You know what? You're defending yourself.

[Brandon]

I'm just saying you saw the problem with Syracuse. They lacked temper.

[Intern]

We got beat by some team.

[Brandon]

I can't announce Gonzaga with the big Australian.

[Intern]

I mean, they have four.

[Melissa]

You're being very defensive.

[Tyler]

I know.

[Brandon]

It hurts.

[Jen Hobby]

These are. Conversations just like this are going on all over the country right now.

[Caller]

And then.

[Melissa]

Who's your number four number?

[Brandon]

Number four is Kentucky.

[Melissa]

Kentucky.

[Brandon]

They're still.

[Melissa]

I still think you're drama.

[Bretzky]

Have you taken it. If you had taken a couple minutes to sit down next to Wendy and compare your two percentile bracket to hers. Ooh, just put the number one.

[Brandon]

Yeah. She says Duke. Well, Duke may not make it past tonight, I hope.

[Melissa]

Look at Brandon.

[Jen Hobby]

Well,

[Bretzky]

you're not answering the questions that are being asked of you.

[Brandon]

Wendy has a. Yes. Wendy's bracket is better than mine.

[Jen Hobby]

This is his problem right here.

[Brandon]

This is my problem. Cause it goes back to high school as well, when we all used to sit down in social studies class. Not Learn history and do bracket pools with a teacher. And the girls used to be like, oh, well, what color does, like, Northern Iowa wear?

[Carl]

Oh, purple.

[Brandon]

Yeah, like purple. Let's put purple through.

[Melissa]

And then you had a better bracket.

[Caller]

Not.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, they do end up with a better bracket. This happened with our family. We have a football pool for the play. NFL playoffs. And our friend Aaron, who knows, has never sat down and watched one game of football, has no idea what the game is like. Right. She was asking us. All right, so the Vikings, what color are they?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Bretzky]

Purple.

[Jen Hobby]

They're purple. And is that. Who's the quarterback? Brett Favreau. Oh, he's kind of cute. Okay, I'll put him through. And she ended up winning our tournament. Won the whole thing. $250.

[Caller]

That's awesome.

[Jen Hobby]

Ran the table.

[Melissa]

It may just mean, Brandon, that guys overthink this. You're all too. You know the statistics of everything, and you overthink and you end up, you know, screwing yourself over.

[Brandon]

No, it's not. Conventional wisdom says that you have. If you know sports, you should be able to win this.

[Jen Hobby]

Throw it out the window, dude.

[Brandon]

But, like, picking the 64 teams, like, picking the 64 teams is called a Jerome.

[Melissa]

He's upset.

[Brandon]

So, like me and Bert, it's called a Jerome. I don't know why, but when you pick all the teams involved in the tournament, it's called a Jerome. And, like, I got my Jerome pretty. My Jerome was pretty good.

[Bretzky]

Making. You know that word doesn't make your bracket better than Wendy's, just so you know.

[Brandon]

That is true. And it doesn't make me better than the girl who picked Cornell just because their nickname is the Big Red and she likes Big Red.

[Bretzky]

So what you're saying is that Aaron. Aaron and Wendy. Aaron and Wendy, just so you're teaching in that word so we can properly say that their Jerome is better than yours.

[Brandon]

No, their Jero may not have been better than their brackets, better than mine, but my Jerome was flawless.

[Wendy]

My Jerome is beating your Jerome.

[Jen Hobby]

I think that's actually. That is actually your new nickname, Brandy. You're not Brandon anymore.

[Bretzky]

Now you're Jerome.

[Brandon]

I have so many nicknames now.

[Bretzky]

You're like a porn star. You're Jerome. You're Jerome Mahogany. The Bird Show.

[Jen Hobby]

Do you guys watch Glee at all?

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Intern]

I haven't seen it.

[Jen Hobby]

You do you watch it regularly?

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah.

[Intern]

All you've been doing is watching tv.

[Jen Hobby]

I know, right?

[Intern]

When the mics were off, you just asked us about 14 different TV shows. Hey, do you guys watch Flash Forward hey, who's watching this on mtv? Hey, are y' all watching this show? Hey, listen to this show. And then we're on the air.

[Melissa]

You're like, hey, who's watching Glee?

[Jen Hobby]

It's been really pathetic in my house because I'm supposed to stay off my leg as much as possible. So, yeah, basically what I do is I go home and I've got my laptop and I'm working on that, and I'm watching TV from the same couch in our room all day long. I'm going nuts now. I'm going bad. So I've seen everything.

[Bretzky]

Fan though, even when you're healthy. So you watch.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't really watch. What it's on all the time, but I don't normally watch. But now I'm sort of forced to watch. So I've seen everything. Ask me about any TV show.

[Intern]

Any TV show, anything.

[Jen Hobby]

So on Glee, Sue Sylvester is the fictional character. She is the. She is like that improv woman that you see in the 40 year old virgin, Jane Lynn.

[Intern]

I interviewed her when I was out

[Jen Hobby]

in LA and on the show I think she's like. Is she a gym teacher?

[Intern]

She's a cheerleading coach.

[Jen Hobby]

Cheerleading coach on the show, right?

[Tyler]

Y.

[Jen Hobby]

She's really hardcore and she's really, really conservative. But she's been posting now video blogs for Glee as her character, Sue Sylvester. And she just posted one that is about gay people. And it is really, really, really, really funny. And this is what she herself is.

[Melissa]

Out lesbian.

[Jen Hobby]

Is she an out lesbian? Which makes it even better. Cause it's really funny.

[Tyler]

I gotta be in my bonnet, Western Ohio. You know what? I've had it up to here with sneaky gays. Gone are the days of Oscar Wilde, Liberace, homosexual, so flaming they could be seen from space. Why nowadays, sneaky gays are everywhere. At the church, at the mall, picking up their meticulously dressed, fastidious children from daycare. Why, you could be sitting next to a sneaky gay right now and you'd never even know it. And that just don't sit right with one Sue Sylvester. Now, I got nothing against gays. Just ask my sassy intern, Tyler. He has to live in my tool shed because I deny him health care as I consider gayness a pre existing condition. But what Sue Sylvester doesn't like looking around and never knowing if a sneaky gay is in her midst. We should be able to see a gay coming a mile away. Is it wrong for me to long for the simpler days of yesteryear when performers weren't so confusing. Jagger, Bowie, you knew they were women. But nowadays this internationally ranked cheerleading coach just can't figure it out. Neil Patrick Harris, you confuse me. I hear you're gay, but there you are on my TV playing a normal, womanizing cardigan wearing straight. That's confusing. And then I heard a rumor you're not actually a doctor. So much sneaky gay deception. Adam Lambert, you're on the right track, but still too subtle. Don't get me wrong, I'll listen to your music. I'll even hum it under my breath as I head into the voting booth the next time a state government offers me the chance to deny you your basic rights. But know that Sue Sylvester ain't gonna be satisfied until you swish it up a bit. Black nail polish. Swish it up a bit. I want to see enormous fuchsia rhinestone, studded gay claws so cumbersome you can't even perform the most basic acts of personal hygiene. Eyeliner. Swish it up a bit. I want pencil thin drawn on eyebrows, botox, and lips so full of collagen that you look like a real housewife of whatever region you happen to be living in. So swish it up, gays, because if I can't tell who's gay, how will I know who to judge? And that's how.

[Melissa]

Sue.

[Tyler]

Seize it.

[Brandon]

Awesome.

[Bretzky]

The Birch Show.

[Bert]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wobi pill and the Wobi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit For Hers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com Bert For Hers.com Bert waitlist by hers is not available in all 50 states with Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit borheart.com this episode sponsored

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[Bretzky]

What's up everybody? It's Bretzky and America is turning 250 and I can't think of a better way to celebrate that than playing on an American owned social casino. Spinquest.com with all of your favorite games live crabs, bubble craps, live blackjack, there's no better place to play for free and win real cash prizes. Spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free to

[Jen Hobby]

play social casino void where prohibited visitors. BenQuest.com for more details the Bird show from Jen Hobby who's whose quest to meet Chelsea Handler this week has not gone as well as we had hoped.

[Intern]

Well, the trail has run a little cold I think, but yeah, I would love to meet and hang out with Chelsea Handler. She's going to be here this weekend. She's got actually two shows at the Fox on Sunday night. Excuse me. She has an 8pm show that sold out so now there's a 5 o' clock show and I have heard from a lot of Bircho listeners but none that can really help me find her. Just a whole bunch of them that say we feel the exact same way as you do and we totally want to be her best friend. So if you get a chance to hang out with her, then will you call us and we'll come and meet you and we'll all have drinks before the show and it'll be so much fun. We'll all be BFFs forever. That's what most of the emails said.

[Jen Hobby]

We were really hoping some of you guys would know somebody that knows somebody that would be really influential in Chelsea Handler's circle. So somehow some way we could get Jen a Face to Face with Chelsea this weekend. And it just hasn't panned out that way yet.

[Intern]

And I've gotten a couple of emails from people who had some strong leads but no follow ups from them. So they reached out to the people that they knew that they thought either worked for her, worked closely with her or whatever. But I haven't heard any follow up. So it's probably that they haven't heard anything from their contacts. So it's still, I mean, there's still, you know, a few days to. To get this done. And I'm hoping that she'll be in town by Sunday. So, you know, I could take her to my favorite brunch spot and we could just hang out, get some food, you know, have some, some of those grapefruit rosewater martinis at Cafe de Soul and just like chill out and like become best friends. Because that's how I see it happening professionally.

[Jen Hobby]

There's nobody at the venue that we know. Cause there's usually like somebody of a somebody that we know.

[Intern]

We don't know anybody at the Fox.

[Bretzky]

We know people, but she's not responsive to them. Cause she sold out both shows.

[Intern]

Oh, both are sold out.

[Bretzky]

A few tickets left for 5 o', clock, but for the most part sold out.

[Intern]

So she doesn't need to do any promotion.

[Bretzky]

She's an Outright bookstore on Sunday.

[Intern]

I did get a couple emails about that because she's gonna do a book signing. So I can try to go there, but that's gonna be crazy packed. There's no place to make best friends.

[Bretzky]

They were working with Tracy. They were hustling to make something happen there.

[Melissa]

But I mean, maybe have some herbal tea with her at Outright, you know, Cause they have a whole bar there. You can have tea and coffee.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, I have a little excuse. Chelsea doesn't drink tea from a guy that has a little experience in this area. I think it would probably be a good idea for you to go down to Outright just to be there. Because if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. But see, Bert, it's the same way. It's the same thing that happened with me and Sanjay when we met. Initially it was. It was like I knew where he was going to be and I was at the same time. And then, you know, you fast forward six months and now we're like best friends.

[Intern]

And now he like doesn't know who you are.

[Jen Hobby]

I see him every day.

[Melissa]

You don't even believe yourself.

[Bretzky]

Do you see him in person every day?

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, I see. I see him in person every day.

[Bretzky]

So you can reach out and touch him.

[Melissa]

Doesn't count.

[Jen Hobby]

I mean, yeah. I mean, there's a screen in between

[Intern]

two of us, but I can touch him.

[Jen Hobby]

And I have, you know, I brush his cheek.

[Bretzky]

You know that I give him some

[Melissa]

butterfly kisses, Eskimo kisses with our lashes.

[Jen Hobby]

I mean, any order.

[Intern]

If we are destined to be best friends, then I can't be a fan. Like, I'm not a super fan. Like, I'm not gonna stand in line for an autograph at a book signing because then she'll see me as a fan and not a friend. Duh.

[Jen Hobby]

Can't you just be happening to be shopping at Outright, which is where you normally go to shop for all your books? And then, what a surprise, Chelsea's here also.

[Melissa]

You're buying me a gift at Outright? Yes.

[Intern]

See, I have this friend who's baby wives.

[Jen Hobby]

She'll be looking at me like, yeah, sure, wink, wink. It doesn't feel like, to me like, Chelsea, although she is a celebrity for sure that she's not like an untouchable celebrity. Like, it shouldn't be as difficult as this has been this week. I mean, it's really not like we're talking about Oprah.

[Intern]

Are you. Where have you been living?

[Jen Hobby]

I mean, she's a big deal.

[Intern]

I mean, she's a celebrity hotter than Oprah right now. Oprah's on their way out.

[Jen Hobby]

You out of your mind, girl?

[Intern]

Chelsea is on her way up.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, Ashley, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Jen Hobby]

Hi.

[Caller]

Hi. How are you guys doing?

[Jen Hobby]

Good, thank you.

[Caller]

Good. Well, I just heard you guys talking, and I happened to eat. Be eating at Flying Biscuit a few weeks ago and saw that they were having all this Chelsea Handler stuff, and they were doing the pre sale, and so I was like, oh, well, this will save me time. I'll just buy the pre sale book here. And he goes, okay, congratulations, you're number five. Had no idea what he was talking about. She's doing a book signing at the bookstore. And if Jen wants to go, she can be my quote unquote friend and stand in line.

[Intern]

Number five mean.

[Bretzky]

But that's the same thing. You're just gonna be the fifth person in line.

[Jen Hobby]

It's not. She was the one that is there. She just invited Jen as a friend. Jenna had nothing else to do, so she decided to go with her friend Ashley.

[Bretzky]

But she's still gonna be in line with 100 people. And Chelsea's gonna go, what's your name? Ashley.

[Caller]

And then, well, the deal with 1 through 5 is that you get to sit in what they term the press area. And they said it was like the little backstage. You get to sit with the press. You get to hang out with Chelsea. She's gonna spend a few more minutes with those people taking pictures, chatting, drinking coffee.

[Intern]

How do we know you are the coolest? Ashley is my new bff.

[Jen Hobby]

And Jen, you get to sit with the media. That is cool.

[Intern]

The real media.

[Bretzky]

Hold on a minute.

[Intern]

Ashley, get media passes. Not radio people

[Bretzky]

like TV people like Ashley. How do we know that you are not doing the same thing that Jen's doing to Chelsea Handler? To Jen, like what if you just

[Carl]

want to hang out?

[Bretzky]

Like you're like, if I just get around Jen Hobby, I want to be. I could be her friend.

[Intern]

Nobody wants to do that.

[Caller]

I do want to be Jen's bff.

[Jen Hobby]

We have a media section set up for a daily press conference that Jen Hobby holds. We'll put you in the top three if you want.

[Bretzky]

And you got plenty of seats because we send out tons of passes and nobody ever shows up.

[Intern]

That's really weird.

[Caller]

Come on.

[Intern]

Totally helps my self esteem issues.

[Jen Hobby]

Jen, would this be something that you would be interested? Should I put her on hold? Would you hang out with us?

[Intern]

Yeah. Let me get Ashley's number for sure.

[Jen Hobby]

Thanks, Ashley.

[Bert]

Thanks.

[Intern]

My new bff.

[Jen Hobby]

Awesome.

[Bretzky]

She's gonna be like, why don't I come over to your house at 6am and we'll get ready together and I'll help you put lotion on your breasts and then we'll. The bird show.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah. This was a hateful piece of email for Jen Hobby, I'm sure.

[Intern]

Very fiery. And as often happens, fiery emails are written at 1:40am So I think there might have been some alcohol involved. That's what I would assume.

[Bretzky]

I thought that because you've brought that up almost immediately. And I was like, yep. But then as I was looking at it, yeah, there's no typos and no misspellings.

[Melissa]

How long is it? Because a lot of times people, when they're really hungry, write a long one.

[Jen Hobby]

At the end of the day, it's going to be a two minute dramatic reading of this email that's edited.

[Melissa]

Really? Okay.

[Intern]

Wow. Apparently our commentary really upset somebody. When we talked to our intern Bianca earlier in the week, she just come back from spring break and she was in Cancun and she told us a story about how she and her boyfriend had gone on one of those party cruises where you hop on the boat and basically everybody gets hammered. And dances and has a good time until they bring you back, right.

[Jen Hobby]

Usually your group of guys ends up going, you got like five or six guys and you guys all sign up for it. Or if you're with a whole bunch of girls, you know, 21, 22 years old, y' all go to the same time, seven of you usually big old packs people, right?

[Intern]

So at some point, intern Bianca and her boyfriend looked over and noticed this older guy who was by himself on the party cruise. And she called him a creeper. I think we all called him a creeper.

[Jen Hobby]

She said he was like in his. Did she say mid-40s?

[Wendy]

He said late 30s.

[Jen Hobby]

Late 30s.

[Melissa]

I think he was in the 30s.

[Bretzky]

The weird part about were two things. One was an older guy, which you're in a destination that's filled with 22 year olds, spring break, so that stands out. But then the fact that he was there alone, I think the combination of those two things, like if it's the older guy, if it's a group of older guys, like, oh, yeah, of course they went down there because there's a bunch of 22 year old girls doing their thing, whatever. If it's a younger guy who's there by himself, you're like, oh, he got ditched by his friends. But when it's the combination of the two, it's creepy. It's creepy. A creeper, dude.

[Jen Hobby]

If you're in your 40s or late 30s and you're going down to Cancun specifically because, you know, it's spring break and there are a bunch of 22 year olds down there that you're trying to hook up with, that is creepy.

[Melissa]

All right.

[Jen Hobby]

That is lame, dude.

[Intern]

Yeah, yeah, so we, we talked about that and she said that the girls ended up getting drunk and ended up like, you know, kissing on this dude and he was inviting all these young girls back to his hotel room. So we're basically just ripping on the situation and saying like he was creepy and that the girls were really foolish for getting on board with that.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Intern]

End of conversation. Then comes this very, very angry email because apparently it's age discrimination.

[Jen Hobby]

What we were saying, okay, this is Jeff doing a traumatic reading of the email. Okay?

[Bretzky]

What is wrong with you people? You condone and ferment homosexuality with your colleague Melissa Carter, and yet you liken an old older guy on a spring break boat to a brain eating mass murderer just because he's an older guy. It's age discrimination and it is just as horrifying to me, an older gentleman, as it would Be if I called Bert a you a and Melissa a or a black guy. Do you even get it? Are you so stupid? I am outraged beyond belief that you could have the unmitigating gall to go up against a man and on air simply because of his age. Screw you. And screw the horse you rode in on, you sanctimonious.

[Caller]

Whoa.

[Bretzky]

Go to my Facebook page and look at my photo album. I do not eat brains of tourists. I do like to enjoy women of all ages over 18 and legal. And you are a total wow. My most mutually satisfying relationship involved a young lady of 19 to 22. When I was 47 to 50, her parents and her mom got on the first page plane to my fiance's college town to meet me. And after 24 hours of being around us, she said, quote, I want you two to be happy. And I can see why you chose to be with this older man. Don't worry about your father. I'll take care of him. You too have my blessing. So guess what, you stupid moron. There are autumn spring relationships that are not old predators trying to kill spring break collegiates just so they can eat their brains off. I see you aren't married, so I guess you aren't perfect either, are you? Or are you carrying around the baby Jesus in your rotten belly, you cheap tripe? So go ahead, cast the first stone. Are you so perfect that you can call down another human being based only on their age? My God, you stink. Greg Mills. I'm emailing for the greater good.

[Melissa]

Greg Mills. I bet he's against health care reform.

[Bretzky]

That last line in there. The I'm emailing for the greater good was the funniest part of the whole thing because it was one of. It was one of those auto signature things.

[Intern]

Yeah, those auto signatures where it's like you can click on it and donate to something happy and good. And that was at the bottom of that email. Can you believe that?

[Wendy]

Sounds like he's old and mad. You're an old man.

[Bretzky]

I think we link up to his Facebook page.

[Jen Hobby]

I'm not sure the dude is real, though.

[Intern]

Old Matt.

[Jen Hobby]

Dad, I looked at Greg Mills on Facebook and there's a dude that is just flipping the camera off and he claims that he lives in San Francisco. And what's gonna be.

[Bretzky]

Do you have his email address?

[Caller]

Yeah, plug it in.

[Wendy]

Plug the email address.

[Bretzky]

Yeah, you got to use his email address. There's going to be 1 million. Greg Mills is.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't know.

[Wendy]

Yeah, he just.

[Melissa]

When I was 47.

[Wendy]

That means he's like old. You're an old man. And no, you cannot date women that are over, like 18 and up.

[Jen Hobby]

No, I'm sorry, man. I know it's judgmental and all, but if you're 47 years old and you're dating a 22 year old, where I come from, man, that's icky, dude.

[Melissa]

I think It's. He said 19.

[Bretzky]

But it doesn't have to be like,

[Intern]

yeah, but I am the one who's a sanctimonious.

[Wendy]

Call me that because I agree with you.

[Melissa]

I don't get the baby Jesus in your belly thing. That's kind of weird.

[Intern]

I don't get that either.

[Melissa]

It's kind of weird or the fact

[Intern]

that we ferment homosexuality with you. What does that mean?

[Melissa]

We're making a really good brew.

[Jen Hobby]

It's aging every day.

[Melissa]

That's right. That's right, honey. And I feel it.

[Jen Hobby]

He makes some good points. Are you kidding me? Hey, the bird show.

[Bert]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who created Create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.comburt to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert forhers.com Bert weigh less by hers is not available in all 50 states. With govi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk a slash S. Get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovy clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borheart.com hey everybody. Lady luck here and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot

[Jen Hobby]

games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble crafts.

[Bert]

Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Jen Hobby]

Spin Quest is a free to play social Casino.

[Bretzky]

Boyd.

[Tyler]

Where prohibited.

[Bretzky]

Visit spinquest.com for more details. All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Jen Hobby]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Bretzky]

The bird show.

[Jen Hobby]

All right, it's back. The Omen music.

[Melissa]

Honey.

[Jen Hobby]

Everybody in their past has sort of a dating Antichrist, you know?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Jen Hobby]

Somebody you can't break away from.

[Intern]

Yeah. It's somebody that you usually get together with and it's a dramatic love, you know, because there's dramatic breakups and dramatic gets back togethers and then there's more breakups, and it's just. You can't let them go.

[Jen Hobby]

There's something there that always brings you back, no matter how bad it is. Like, for instance, I'll use this example all the time. Man, I almost got knocked out of my own party in front of all my friends by an ex girlfriend. I mean, she jumped down a flight of stairs and roundhoused me, and my legs buckled because she thought I was flirting with somebody else. I went after her on the steps. Like I have my hand around her neck. Like it doesn't get any more red than this. Then the next day we go on vacation together.

[Melissa]

And it's usually something that happens in your 20s. Am I right? Is everybody's Antichrist usually around their 20s?

[Intern]

Because I think mine was in my teens.

[Melissa]

But yeah, because you're young and you. And you believe in love and you're naive enough to believe that this person who's manipulating you is the person for you. And eventually you do. Wendy, get away from them. But at the moment, it's just really hard.

[Bretzky]

And if you're sitting there in the car thinking, like, I don't have one, because I thought that you guys were all talking about it, then you're the Antichrist. And then that suddenly becomes very apparent.

[Jen Hobby]

And you just know, like, this is a person that you're not supposed to be with. They've hurt you so many times, yet you keep going back or somehow the draw, they. They end up in your life. And that's what makes them your dating Antichrist. And Wendy's been dealing with one now for years. But we thought this was done.

[Wendy]

I thought it was completely over with. But I found out just last weekend talking and running into a mutual acquaintance of my Antichrist last weekend that he is moving back to town and coming back into town in a month, Month and a half.

[Jen Hobby]

Damn.

[Wendy]

And this was a relationship? Probably. It was a year and a half and it ended almost two years ago. So two, two and a half years ago when it was done, Wendy started

[Jen Hobby]

the show basically in the middle of this breakup. So one of the storylines, our first storylines with Wendy was her first breaking up with this guy. And I mean, she was crying on the radio for a while. You know, first it was I miss him. Then it was please leave me alone. And then she would get back with the guy, and we were living through this whole thing with her.

[Bretzky]

It goes. Actually started even before that, because you remember the very first break, we made her change her phone number.

[Jen Hobby]

That's right.

[Melissa]

Yep.

[Wendy]

I mean, change my phone number. But we got back together and then we stayed together for probably another nine months. But it's literally like I'm have anxiety just thinking about the relationship and then thinking about him coming back into town. Literally petrified at the fact that he's coming back in town because he was the one. One of the most manipulative guys in my life. Always drew me back. I didn't see my family for a year. I. I didn't see anybody. I lost all my friends.

[Intern]

And I finally attacked your self confidence too.

[Wendy]

Oh, well, it's when I started diet pills. I look back on pictures, on how skinny I got.

[Jen Hobby]

He was hammering you on your weight, right?

[Wendy]

Oh, all the time he would pinch my side. He would. Obviously he talked to other girls behind my back that I just found out. I mean, I've just found these things out. Being broken up with and dealing with him in the past, and I'm done with it. But I mean, obviously not a day, I mean, not a week goes by that I don't at least think about

[Jen Hobby]

him once pops in your head.

[Wendy]

He pops into my head. Well, I mean, you know.

[Melissa]

You know what I mean? Like, and the thing is about you being petrified, it's been over two years. So we got to make sure that by the time the month comes around, do you feel like petrified by it? Because that's where you're. You're weak and vulnerable, you know, do

[Intern]

you feel like he's gonna call you, he's gonna try to get in touch with you.

[Wendy]

Well, he. Me and him go to the same places. We got to the same clubs. We have some of the same acquaintances. Like, I know some of his friends. And running into two of them last weekend just verified that. That no matter where I go, he could find me. He knows my mom's address. He still knows my phone number. He probably knows my mom's phone number.

[Bretzky]

I just found this out last week. But, you know, when we talk in this room to each other, everybody in Atlanta hears it.

[Jen Hobby]

I wish that were true.

[Wendy]

He knows he's got a pull on me. He absolutely knows. I haven't talked to him for, God, probably seven months now. But even when we were broken up, there was. There was a couple of phone calls back and forth here and there. And, I mean, of course I miss him. And in a place where I was back then, I missed part of that lifestyle, you know, like, he. He was the one who took care of me. And now, obviously, like, I'm in, like, a financial. Financial setback. So I'm like all these, like, what if I was still with him? What if, what if, what if? So him coming back, and he probably. I mean, he probably could manipulate me back.

[Jen Hobby]

You're letting him in already? You. You need to know with this guy that if you give even a centimeter, the door is going to be wide open to this guy. You can't be open to anything with this dude.

[Wendy]

There's a part of me, though, that, like, what if he's changed?

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, no.

[Bretzky]

It's where it gets. It gets worse. It gets worse than that because I was. And I don't. This was early in the night, so I don't know if you remember. I think you probably remember saying this, but I was with. Was it the night that you found out or the night after you found out that I was with you at Smith?

[Wendy]

That was the night I did find out.

[Bretzky]

Okay. So I saw Wendy right after she found out about it, and she was rattled by it. And one of the first things you said to me that went off like police sirens in my head because you said, he'll be back in one to two months. I've got 30 days to get into shape.

[Tyler]

Oh, no.

[Melissa]

Did you really see that?

[Jen Hobby]

He's up in your head already.

[Wendy]

Well, because it's like, you know when you're single and you just break up with somebody? It's the spiteful high. Like, it's the spiteful. Get in better shape. Look as good as you can. Get your hair done. Make sure your makeup's done, like, all the time. Have cute outfits all the time. So no matter where you go, if you run into this person like you want to look, that shows you.

[Bretzky]

But that's.

[Intern]

Yeah, that's like a month after. This is two and a half years

[Melissa]

longer than you dated him.

[Jen Hobby]

He still has a. He still has some kind of control over you. You got to somehow get this guy out of your head 100%.

[Wendy]

But the thing is, like, when things were good, things were awesome.

[Melissa]

That's how they work. It's. It's high. So it's a very bipolar relationship when. Because somebody. Yeah, somebody will treat you better than anybody else, because they can. But then the payoff is that they treat you worse than anybody in your life ever will.

[Jen Hobby]

You sound like an abusive wife. I've heard that so many times. When it's good, it's so good they're

[Melissa]

trying to make up.

[Jen Hobby]

Every now and then, he'll hit me. But you know what? When it's good, it's just so good. You were in an abusive relationship. Just because somebody's, you know, not throwing punches at you doesn't mean you're not in an abusive relationship. You were in an abusive relationship.

[Wendy]

And that went on still after we broke up. So, I mean, a part of me, like, wants to run into him, and then there's a part of me, obviously, that doesn't want to run into him because those emotions are gonna flare up.

[Jen Hobby]

Here's Bob. Hey, Bob, you're on Q100.

[Caller]

It's going on, guys.

[Bretzky]

Look.

[Caller]

See you guys every morning.

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Jen Hobby]

Thank you.

[Caller]

Wendy, I just want to say, you gotta let go, girl. They don't change. Trust me.

[Bretzky]

I'm a guy, you know, I'm going

[Caller]

through kind of the same relationship that you went through. They don't change. No matter how many times you go back, whatever the feelings are, it's never going to change. You got to move on.

[Bretzky]

You got to find that one.

[Jen Hobby]

I say don't remember the good times. I say remember the bad times. So you don't get back with this guy.

[Melissa]

But the problem is, like, I didn't realize you still had feelings for this dude. You know, I didn't.

[Wendy]

I didn't think I did.

[Melissa]

Antichrist.

[Brandon]

They never quit.

[Bretzky]

The problem is, she wasn't expecting the return. And it's an. And given everything that Wendy's got going on in her life, like the financial stuff that she's talked about, the fact that she's single and has been since the dawn of time, the fact, you know what I mean, like, all of that stuff. Like, it's an easy. It's easy. It's an easy solution.

[Intern]

Well, I think you just got to love yourself enough to know you deserve better.

[Melissa]

It's not an easy solution. It's the hardest thing she'll ever go through if she goes back.

[Carl]

Right.

[Bretzky]

But it's an easy solution.

[Melissa]

Anybody but yourself.

[Bretzky]

It's an easy solution to the other problem she's dealing with.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, Kara.

[Bretzky]

Good morning.

[Caller]

Morning.

[Jen Hobby]

How are you guys? Okay, give Wendy some advice here.

[Caller]

Wendy? I was in a three year relationship. First time, year and a half, second time, year and a half, same person. Doesn't change, doesn't work. They'll still treat you like crap. Don't do it. Not worth it.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah. Like, what do you think? How did he find religion over the last couple years? Like, what do you think? Maybe he's changed? What do you think's changed in his life?

[Wendy]

I don't know. I don't. I mean, I haven't talked to him, but I. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what's gonna happen if I see him. I. Granted, I will see him. Like, there's probably no way of getting around that because we just hang out at the same places, we live in the same area.

[Jen Hobby]

Why can't you just walk the other way? And you know he's gonna still have the same phone number I do.

[Wendy]

Well, the. Yeah, the second time I change it, I still have that same number.

[Jen Hobby]

You know he's gonna text you. You know he's gonna call.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I guess.

[Intern]

What is your mom gonna say if

[Wendy]

you get back to. Mom already told me.

[Tyler]

No.

[Intern]

See, like, that's the thing. If you're making a decision that you don't want to tell your family about, the people who love you the most in your life, who are not going anywhere, who are gonna be there your entire life and be there for you. If it's something you can't tell them, like, it's the wrong decision, you know, and that's, you know, for anybody in any decision that you're making in your life, you know?

[Jen Hobby]

You know, I'm gonna do something really, really mean. I am gonna have Josh pull the audio of when you were on with us for those first couple of times talking about this guy. And I'm gonna mp3 it to you today.

[Wendy]

Oh, see, I don't know if I want to hear it.

[Jen Hobby]

That's why I think you have to.

[Bretzky]

You know what it sounds like.

[Jen Hobby]

Cause you forget the paint because that's

[Bretzky]

your Future, it sounds like right now. You guys don't understand though. It's just so good when he's not telling me that I'm fat. It's good.

[Intern]

Nobody's got respect for this guy. So how do you bring him around any of us? Like how are you gonna bring him to a Q100 event?

[Jen Hobby]

I hate him already.

[Intern]

You know what? I' or your mom. We don't even know the guy. Or bring him around your mom. Or take him home to meet your dad. Oh, I couldn't see like icky. Gross.

[Melissa]

So isn't that like wasted time? Just cause he can pay your bills

[Jen Hobby]

can be finding himself a good man.

[Wendy]

It's just weird that I still have feelings for this guy and I don't know why. I have no idea. Just wish he didn't come back. I really wish he didn't come back.

[Jen Hobby]

He doesn't have to come back. Just because he's in the same town doesn't mean that you don't have any kind of control over this. Like to me you sound sort of vulnerable. Like it's inevitable. I really wish I didn't have to talk to him. I didn't have to see him. You don't.

[Wendy]

I know I don't. But though like the what if factor that he's even in the same city scares me.

[Intern]

No, I think the reason that you're making it sound inevitable is cause you wanna see him.

[Melissa]

Yeah, me too. Because I've been in the since the Antichrist. There's one time where she came back, she moved away. She came back, she's in the same bar, you know, and it was fine. That's the thing is like, I mean this is a city of how many people? And you know, I mean you can be in the same place as him and be ok, like Bert said to walk to another portion of the bar and it be fine. But I agree with Jen. It's like you will make the situation happen.

[Jen Hobby]

He won't want to take two more calls and then we'll move on. Hey Linda, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller]

Hi, good morning.

[Jen Hobby]

What's up?

[Caller]

Yes, I'm just gonna want to tell you, Wendy, that I'm in the exact same situation. We've been together for over 10 years, back on and off. And I lost. He almost make me feel like the ugliest person ever whenever he gets. I lost 65 pounds within four months just to please him. Yes, and he stays. I mean, he said he didn't change anything. It didn't change. He still treated me like crap. And the worst part is that we're married and we have two kids and there's no way that I can't afford being by myself right now. And he knows. He pulled all those strings on me, and he knows. But you got the best part, because you're on your own. Don't let him know that you need him ever and ever. And just keep going. Keep going.

[Jen Hobby]

So here she was, dating her Antichrist and couldn't get out of it because she didn't feel like she had any control over it. Ended up marrying the dude. So imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this guy.

[Wendy]

I mean, I can hear the words, and I completely understand. I don't want to be in that situation again. And I don't. I just don't know why the emotions or why I even care enough about it to even sit here and talk about him or his work. Like, just thinking about him right now makes me upset.

[Melissa]

So let me ask guys out there if you're in an abusive relationship because guys have Antichrists. Like, Burt's had an Antichrist. Jeff was the Antichrist. But was there ever a time in your. Is there ever a time in your life bar where you with your Antichrist, thought, you know what? I can't leave her because she takes care of me financially.

[Jen Hobby]

I'll be totally and completely honest with you. It had everything to do with sex with me.

[Melissa]

But it wasn't financial. It was just sex.

[Jen Hobby]

No, I was making way more money than she was. It was. Yeah, it was strictly sexual.

[Bretzky]

But you were getting something good and important to guys out of it. Like, I think. I mean, to me, it's obvious for Wendy's different. You've talked about your financial struggles, and he took care of you financially, and you've talked about being single. And he will give you the opportunity to not say you're single. So you've got two big issues in your life that you deal with. And he's the solution to both. And good or bad, he's a solution. And I think that's why you have feelings for him. I guarantee you that if you were dating. If you were dating someone else or you were making more money, you would have no feelings for him. I think the reason Melissa was comfortable being in the bar with your Antichrist is because you had probably moved on to the point where you were with somebody else.

[Jen Hobby]

Here's Monica. One last call. Hey, Monica. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Hey. I was just gonna say there's a few safeguards that Wendy can put in Place to protect herself from getting in any kind of sketchy situation. Like she can put a block on her on his cell phone number from her cellular provider. And that way she can't get a hold. He can't get a hold of her. And basically just kind of do some situational practicing beforehand where she knows how to prepare when she does see him.

[Bretzky]

But she wants to see him. That's the problem, isn't that she's trying to avoid him. The problem is that somewhere inside of her, she's like, you know what? I just gotta say hi to him. I mean, he's coming back.

[Jen Hobby]

We need to start some dating Antichrist witness protection program.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jen Hobby]

What we need to do is we

[Bretzky]

need to convince Wendy that there's something really cool in one of our attitudes. And then when she gets in there, nail the door shut and cut a slot in it to put food through for one year.

[Melissa]

It still doesn't work. She would call herself out. I mean, the thing is, like, you know it's true because, I mean, you. Yeah. Nobody has that much power over you. Nobody. Nobody.

[Jen Hobby]

You need a T shirt with his face on it that says, if you see me talking to him, stop me.

[Melissa]

Yeah. Cause I could stand in front of my Antichrist today and have a conversation with her and be fine. I mean, you have. I mean, you have to move on and you can't do it. And you want him back.

[Jen Hobby]

This sort of.

[Melissa]

But you only want him back because he's gonna pay your bills. That's ridiculous.

[Jen Hobby]

This is also kind of a reoccurring storyline going on in your life right now about taking control of things in your life. Like we talked about that raise that you've wanted for so long, you want the control of that, but you haven't gone back and talked to the bosses about it. You feel powerless that this guy is gonna be in town. You gotta put your big girl panties on and take control of your life, girl.

[Wendy]

Try Em.

[Jen Hobby]

You can do it.

[Wendy]

I'm trying. Really am.

[Jen Hobby]

We need to put, like, posters up in this guy.

[Melissa]

No, we didn't know.

[Jen Hobby]

This really comes from.

[Melissa]

This is doesn't. We can't help you with this.

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[Jen Hobby]

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[Jen Hobby]

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[Brandon]

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[Jen Hobby]

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[Bretzky]

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[Brandon]

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[Jen Hobby]

U E S T.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. You're on the Bird Show. All right, let's get producer Carl on. And it was last week that Jen Hobby had a story in the entertainment buzz about Reggie Bush. And you know Reggie and Kim Kardashian. They're doing this whole breakup back together thing. We're gonna get married, then we break up, then there's all sorts of rumors now about him, you know, kind of screwing around on her with different girls in different cities. And in one of Jen's entertainment buzz stories, the word jump off was used.

[Intern]

Yeah. One of the Bartow listeners called up and said, Carmen Ortega, who's this video star, apparently is a well known Reggie Bush jump off. And I had never heard that before.

[Melissa]

Me neither.

[Carl]

And then the conversation that you and Bird had about jump off, it made me think of this email that I got. This email that I had was real old, but it also brought me in the mind of a movie called how to be a Player. But it was a Def Jam comedy film starring Bill Bellamy, Bernie Mac and

[Jen Hobby]

I did see this.

[Carl]

Exactly right.

[Jen Hobby]

It's one of those movies that you see like on Cinemax.

[Carl]

Exactly.

[Jen Hobby]

You just keep it on two in the morning.

[Carl]

Yeah, yeah. So it brought me in the mind of that and the jump off conversation remind me of this email. So the email that I had, it said every player has four different type of girls.

[Intern]

Okay.

[Carl]

Now if you. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean it for the. For the married guys. This is for the single guys, for the most part. You player type single guys. Now it brought me in the mind of the whole how to be a player thing because of the jump off thing. But what I want to say is that if you're a single woman, you may want to listen real intensely and kind of really find out what category that you're in. If you date, if you're out there

[Jen Hobby]

dating, if you're dating a player, you may not even know that you're dating a player.

[Carl]

Exactly. You know, if you get the two o', clock, if you only talk to the guy at 2:00 in the morning, he might be dating a player. All right, so number one is what we call wife or what they call wifey. Not necessarily wifey, but just a figure of speech.

[Intern]

Wifey is not really your wife.

[Carl]

Exactly.

[Melissa]

But we're talking about single guys.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, he'll define it here.

[Carl]

Yeah, right. You could be a wife, even wifey material. All right, so the wifey is. It reads right here, his wifey is the sexiest, most successful and most respected of all the women. She's loved, needed and wanted by her man. She is virtually irreplaceable. She's the girl that the guys love and will always love. He never wants to see her with another man, but he will cheat on her with Baby girl.

[Bretzky]

Baby girl.

[Wendy]

Baby girl.

[Carl]

Baby girl.

[Bretzky]

Now we're working our way down the list right now.

[Carl]

Baby girl is. Now he'll Cheat on with Baby Girl until he's mature enough to realize that he gets caught. Then he messes up and he loses wifey. And if he loses wifey, this is the one that he just can't live without.

[Jen Hobby]

All right?

[Carl]

He just loses his whole gut over. Right.

[Jen Hobby]

Wifey is like potential wifey. Like the one that got away. Like, everything is so good. Everything is perfect. But he messes it up with Baby Girl.

[Carl]

Exactly. Okay, now, Baby Girl, Let me see the pictures. Right?

[Melissa]

Oh, okay, There's Baby Girl.

[Carl]

Baby Girl right there. All right, now, Baby Girl was always.

[Bretzky]

Girls doing this like a kindergarten story. He's holding up. He's holding up the book sideways.

[Melissa]

Thanks, Uncle Carl.

[Carl]

But, you know, so Baby Girl is just as hot as wifey and usually has a very active social life. She's not in the house like wifey is and should be, but she is replaceable. I know, but Baby girl is replaceable. And she thinks that she's the next wifey. She thinks that she is, but you can never be wifey.

[Jen Hobby]

Does Baby Girl know about wifey?

[Carl]

Baby girl knows about wifey.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay? So she's just jockeying for the number one position.

[Carl]

Baby girl's just waiting for wifey to mess up.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay?

[Carl]

And she thinks that she can be in that place, but she doesn't know that if dude loses wifey, he's done. He can. He can't even function anymore. All right, so you could be Baby Girl. Now, third of all, this is when it starts to get a little bit less as you're not really there. The third one is the side piece. Now the side is the side piece. Everybody.

[Bretzky]

Let me start calling Carl Dr. Seuss.

[Melissa]

I think if peace is in your name, I know what this is all about.

[Carl]

All right, so the side piece.

[Intern]

Side piece gets the calls at 2 in the morning.

[Carl]

Side piece gets the calls at 2 in the morning. Sidepiece is usually the female that the guy uses only for sex and other pleasures. She is usually the one that he goes for with that threesome. The. The late night after the club when wife is acting up, baby girls at work. The side piece is usually the one on hold for him.

[Jen Hobby]

So this is the sure thing.

[Carl]

This is the sure thing.

[Bretzky]

Hands down, starting to hit kind of close to home there. Hobby. Starting to feel. See, can see you start. Can see you starting to squirm.

[Melissa]

I think when she's working in the clubs, her name is DJ Side Piece.

[Brandon]

That's true.

[Jen Hobby]

It is a great rap name. Side piece.

[Melissa]

DJs sidepiece.

[Carl]

So you got.

[Intern]

That's not really a name women call themselves.

[Carl]

Well, you don't call them yourselves. That's what the players are calling you.

[Jen Hobby]

Right. So is side piece jockeying to be baby girl or. She's just happy being side piece, getting hers.

[Carl]

Side piece is just happy being side piece.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay?

[Carl]

She understands the rules, she understands what she's going through. Baby girl is jockeying.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay?

[Carl]

Side piece, wifey is there. Baby girl is jockeying. Side piece understands that it is what it is.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay?

[Bretzky]

All right.

[Carl]

Then we have the jump off.

[Intern]

So basically, if you're answering the phone and you're going over to his house and it to him in the morning, you need to know your side piece, period.

[Jen Hobby]

Purely physical. She knows it, you know it. Side piece.

[Carl]

Right, but she know. But you, you know the side piece's name. You know, you may even know the side piece's last name. You may even met a brother who knows.

[Jen Hobby]

You may know a little bit more. All right?

[Carl]

But the jump off is exactly what it is. It just jumps off at any time. Just like.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't get it.

[Intern]

I don't know that.

[Bretzky]

Call her before breakfast. Call her two in the morning. She's there every time.

[Caller]

Jump off.

[Intern]

Okay, let me see.

[Carl]

It might jump off. It might jump off with jump off anytime.

[Jen Hobby]

I still don't get what you mean.

[Intern]

I don't understand.

[Carl]

It might happen with jump off. Anything can happen at the drop of a dime with jump off.

[Jen Hobby]

What separates her from side piece then?

[Carl]

The side, the jump off. You may. You barely know her name. You met her. It may. You may have met jump off in the club one night. You may not see jump off again.

[Wendy]

It's like a one time thing.

[Carl]

Exactly. It could be a one time thing. It may be. It may be a two time thing.

[Bretzky]

So the side piece has the jump off. Is that girl from Waffle House last week.

[Carl]

Exactly.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay, Exactly.

[Carl]

Side piece comes in on the side when baby girl's not there and wifey's just not around.

[Jen Hobby]

It's like a. It's like a play of depth chart. You got your starter, which is your wifey. Your second stringer is your baby girl.

[Carl]

Baby girl.

[Jen Hobby]

All right? And then the third stringer, if your first two are out, is side piece. Side piece, jump off. Got it.

[Bretzky]

Carl, I hate to tell you this, but you got some work to do because Tiger woods has given you about 15 more names that you gotta go down below. Jump off. He blew the whole thing. Tiger and Jesse, he had too many.

[Intern]

What did he have? He had jump offs or side pieces.

[Jen Hobby]

He had both.

[Intern]

Right but he kept in touch with all of them.

[Bretzky]

So they would be side pieces.

[Intern]

Side pieces?

[Carl]

But he only had one wifey. One baby girl. But plenty jump offs.

[Intern]

So wait, so who was his baby girl?

[Carl]

Baby girl?

[Intern]

That Rachel.

[Carl]

You could tell the one that's. Yeah, exactly.

[Jen Hobby]

He was texting back and forth with originally.

[Carl]

Vegas, right?

[Intern]

Yeah, the Vegas hottie. Okay, so that was the baby girl. Everybody else is a side piece. And then we haven't even heard from the jump offs.

[Carl]

You haven't heard from the jump off. They just jumping off wherever.

[Bert]

Ridiculous.

[Jen Hobby]

Listen, it's the bird show.

[Bretzky]

Oh, I have had no luck lately. Wait, Lady Luck Ritzky.

[Bert]

I got you. I've had so much luck on spinquest.com they have all of my favorite games. Slot games, live blackjack craps and bubble craps.

[Jen Hobby]

You can even get a 30 coin

[Tyler]

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[Bretzky]

10 bucks for 30. I'm headed over to spinquest.com right now.

[Jen Hobby]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited.

[Bretzky]

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[Jen Hobby]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Carl]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Bert]

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[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Terms.