The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, March 18 [Vault]

Air Date: March 18, 2026
Podcast Hosts/Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Entire Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complex realities and comic absurdities of relationships, soulmates, weekend anxieties, and workplace drama. The Bert Show crew brings listeners into intimate conversations with callers and each other—debating love at first sight, handling nerves before big events, and unpacking tricky social dilemmas (from workplace politics to risky texting). As always, the tone is candid, authentic, and laced with laughter and quick-fire banter.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Do Soulmates Exist?

Segment Start: 00:46

• Caller Terry’s Story:
  Terry recounts an unexpected bar meet-up that felt like "meeting her soulmate." She describes an instant, deep connection ("It’s just your other half. It’s really hard to explain unless you experience it, you know." – Terry, 04:04).
• Skepticism from Hosts:
  The Bert Show crew debates whether such connections are real or just the rush of hormones and excitement.
  • Michael: "I give Terry here credit. She came out publicly...I met my soulmate and I haven’t even spent an hour with him." (02:52)
  • Jen questions how quickly Terry is adapting her life (searching for a Baptist church to align with her new partner’s faith):
    "That is a big...definitely a big jump. That’s a huge transition." (11:27) "And knowing a guy for five days and making the decision to convert...it's pretty intense." (11:34)
• Audience Calls and Reflections:
  • Lacey describes loving her first husband (her "soulmate") even after their divorce, but accepting that people can feel that way more than once (09:49).
  • Hosts caution about making major life decisions in the throes of new love ("Don’t be Baptist just because of him!" – Jen, 12:39).

2. What Are You Nervous About This Weekend?

Segment Start: 15:19

• Call-In Segment:
  Listeners share anxieties, with the hosts providing supportive advice.
  • Burgundy nervously accepts a last-minute solo in "Jesus Christ Superstar Gospel." The team reassures her:
    "You're gonna crush it. What a huge honor that you're the one to come in and save the day." (17:05–17:07)
  • Another caller is anxious after reporting a vindictive boss for slacking at a hair salon, fearing retaliation at work (18:13–19:41).
  • Carrie, using a voice disguiser, admits to a planned date with a married friend (whom she first became friends with through his wife). The team reacts with concern and ethical prodding:
    Jen: "I'm kinda hoping that this date goes horribly wrong." (20:51) Michael: "You do realize that you're walking into a conversation this weekend that you can't win." (27:03)
  • Lisa, nervous about meeting an online friend in D.C. for the inauguration, is given advice about managing expectations and enjoying the moment with her daughter (22:33–24:57).
  • Casey prepares for a tough conversation, needing to confront her brother about an affair with his ex best friend’s wife (25:14–27:15).

3. Text Message Boundaries & Scandals

Segment Start: 29:03

• Sarah Calls on Behalf of a Friend:
  A 33-year-old man responds flirtatiously to a 17-year-old friend’s daughter via text, who then sends a suggestive photo.
  • The crew debates the adult’s responsibility and the necessity of honesty with the girl's father.
  • Jen: "If a child is under the age of 18, then all responsibility is on the adult." (33:27)
  • Callers weigh in, with strong opinions against the adult’s actions.
    Eva: "He needs to go to his friend and say I was egotistical and self-absorbed and I put myself before our friendship and your daughter." (38:10)
  • Conversation explores how even small textual misjudgments can have big consequences—and that cutting off communication is the safest option.

4. 'Voodoo' Gender Prediction Games & Pregnancy Talk

Segment Start: 41:46

• Hosts and Studio Guests Experiment:
  The studio tests the classic "needle on a string" or "ring test" to predict impending babies' genders.
  • Jessica claims a "sixth sense" for baby’s gender, the results of which will be revealed after upcoming appointments:
    "I have a sixth sense. And you're just gonna have to accept that." – Jessica (43:04)
  • They discuss old wives’ tales, superstitions, and the collective nerve-wracking anticipation around pregnancy reveals.
  • Callers and hosts describe home experiments using jewelry vs. needle-and-thread, mixing skepticism and amazement.
    "It showed all four pregnancies…so freaky." – Kelly, describing the accuracy of the test (47:53)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Soulmates and Leap-of-Faith Romance:

  • "Everything is perfect. Everything’s right. He’s definitely the one that I know I’m gonna be with, like, forever. Just someone that. It’s just your other half." – Terry (04:04)
  • "Going from I’m not really that religious to being a Southern Baptist is a huge jump." – Jen (11:27)
  • "I want you to prove us all wrong...every time we do, I hope you say, you know what? Everything’s been working out great. It’s getting deeper for both of us. He’s fallen in love with me, and my instinct was absolutely right." – Michael (12:48)

• On Dating Married Friends:

  • "Why are you doing it if you know it's wrong?... Because he deserves to be happy." – Carrie (21:00)
  • "I wouldn’t call it the understatement of the show. Yeah, that is not a good friend." – Jeff (22:28)

• On Responsible Texting and Age Differences:

  • "He crossed the line texting her back. Yep, completely." – Jen (30:47)
  • "If a child is under the age of 18, all responsibility is on the adult." – Jen (33:27)
  • "He needs to go to his friend and say I was egotistical and self-absorbed and I put myself before our friendship and your daughter. This man knew that the first text was wrong." – Eva (38:05)

• On Gender Prediction (Ring Needle Test):

  • "You basically hold the string with the needle pointing down on the wrist and it will go in a circle for a girl and back and forth for a boy." – Kelly (47:15)
  • "[On the studio test] It's not really moving at all...Is it the same wrist Anna that you used before? ...There it goes." – Jen & Melissa (47:40–47:50)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Soulmates, Leap-of-Faith Romance & Caution:
  00:46–13:16

• Weekend Nerves, Solo Performances & Work Drama:
  15:19–27:15

• Risky Friendships, Affairs, and Family Confrontations:
  25:14–27:15

• Text Messaging Scandal (33-year-old & 17-year-old):
  29:03–40:33

• Pregnancy Superstitions, Gender Prediction Game:
  41:46–54:03

Episode Tone & Style

The tone is trademark Bert Show: lively, irreverent, but also empathetic. Hosts openly tease one another and callers, but always try to dig deeper, reflect real-life complexities, and let their listeners know they are part of an ongoing conversation. They’re real, sometimes skeptical, sometimes cheerleaders—always inviting honesty and a bit of comic relief, even amidst drama or uncomfortable truths.

This episode is rich with both comedic banter and heartfelt listener stories, serving up entertainment and thought-provoking questions about love, decisions, boundaries, and the little superstitions that help us through uncertain times.