Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, March 25 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, March 25 [Vault]

Date: March 25, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & Cast

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show blends relatable, humorous, and candid conversations about parenthood, young adulthood, Lent sacrifices, dating culture, and wedding planning. The cast tackles real-life listener dilemmas and share their own experiences, keeping the tone light yet authentic. Key themes include parental anxieties about spring break, honesty and boundaries with adult children, relationship preferences, and the surprising pains—and indifference—of modern wedding planning.

---

Key Segments & Highlights

---

1. Spring Break “Sting” Dilemma and Parental Trust

Timestamps: [01:00–11:01]

• Context: The team revisits their infamous “Spring Break Sting” segments, reflecting on why parents want to “catch” their college kids misbehaving.
• Evolution of the Segment: Early iterations involved parents trying to catch kids drinking; now, more select cases require an interesting “story.”
  • "In the first couple of years, it was just parents calling up, going, 'Hey, give my kid a call and I'll be listening on the other line.'" – C [01:55]
• Featured Caller (Elaine):
  • Elaine is suspicious about her daughter Kelly’s whereabouts on Spring Break after finding inconsistencies on Facebook.
  • Elaine: “She’s obviously not with these girls. She’s not with the girls she’s supposed to be on spring break.” [03:44]
  • She expresses concern after seeing Kelly in photos with an older man, clearly not in Panama City as claimed.
  • She agonizes over the betrayal of trust and lack of transparency from her daughter.
• Cast Reactions:
  • The group sympathizes with Elaine but debates boundaries, parental funding, and young adult independence.
  • F: “She committed fraud.” [08:41]
  • G: “I feel it’s the same way either way; she gave her the money to go have a good time. She’s having a good time with a guy.” [08:22]
• Notable Quote:
  • Elaine: “It makes me really nervous...how many levels of lying and betraying me as her parent, it’s wrong, and it makes me really nervous.” [09:02]
• Resolution: Producers vow to contact Kelly to uncover the truth, establishing a more responsible tone for these stings.

---

2. Lent and Unusual Self-Denials

Timestamps: [12:37–23:48]

• Setup: Discussion shifts to what cast and callers are giving up for Lent, with an emphasis on unusual sacrifices.
  • F: “She’s given up alcohol...and she’s also giving up coffee drive-throughs.” [13:12]
• Listener Calls:
  • Maria and her boyfriend gave up sex for Lent; they've never completed the full period before. [14:04]
    • C: “How many days were you into your promise to God before you gave sex back to you?” [14:33]
  • Lindsay commits to wearing underwear for Lent rather than giving something up: “I don’t like to wear underwear, so I’m going to wear underwear.” [20:04]
  • Chelsea gives up trashy reality TV, exposing just how much time she spends watching shows like "Rock of Love" and “I Love New York.” [20:59–22:30]
• Cast’s Internal Banter:
  • Bert confronts his own drinking habits, debating whether abstaining completely or limiting alcohol is more challenging.
    • C: “I don’t know how to socially drink. If I’m drinking, I’m in fourth gear, and I don’t have a first gear.” [15:19]
    • D: “30 days is a tough… that’s tough for you to do.” [17:36]
  • The segment exposes the relatability and self-deprecation characteristic of The Bert Show.

---

3. Dating Preferences: Why Women Avoid Skinny Guys

Timestamps: [25:50–31:59]

• Topic Intro: Bert reads out: “6 out of 10 women won’t date or even look at a man who is skinnier than they are.” [26:43]
• Cast Insights:
  • B: “Well, I could not date a guy smaller than me...I want to feel small with a guy.” [26:52]
  • Discussion of protection, attraction, and societal expectations.
  • F: “A man should not be able to wear your jeans.” [27:20]
• Listener Reaction:
  • Nikki shares insecurity about being “the big one” in her relationship. [31:05]
    • G: “There’s a lot of insecurities that come with that you all. I don’t know about other women…am I hurting you? Are you okay?” [31:15]
• Humorous Moment:
  • C: “I think you broke me. ‘Is generally not a line that’s gonna turn me out a bit…’” [30:48]

---

4. Wedding Planning—Apathetic Brides & Unconventional Receptions

Timestamps: [32:03–40:03]

• Lindell’s Wedding Planning Apathy:
  • J: “I just want to get married…people have fun regardless of all the specific little details.” [32:59]
  • Unlike the typical "Bridezilla" stories, Lindell is unbothered by tablescapes, flatware, or even the guest list.
    • “You just want to have a party. I don’t care about any…not one.” – Listener Kelly [35:58]
  • Her biggest stress? Her mom’s anxiety, not wedding logistics. [33:17]
• Discussion on Kids at Receptions:
  • J: “One thing I don’t like is little kids at the wedding reception...it totally disrupts just the whole atmosphere of a fun reception.” [36:33]
• Booze-Free Reception Debate:
  • C: “So, and you said something about a fun reception, but you said there’s not going to be any booze there, right?” [37:16]
  • F: “What sober adult gets into a photo booth?” [38:02]
  • Cast jokes about sneaking alcohol and tailgating outside the reception, highlighting the contrast between Lindell’s priorities and typical party expectations.
  • F: “It’ll be a respectful intoxicated (tailgate). I just think it would be funny…” [39:25]
  • Everyone banters about pre-gaming and bringing inflatable furniture for a parking lot party.
• Notable Quote:
  • J: “There are lots of women out there like that. ...Because there's the whole Bridezilla myth, you don't come out and just be like, well, I'm completely opposite. It's just not normal, I guess.” [36:20]

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Elaine’s Parental Anxiety:
  “I don’t know where she is, so I don’t know how to protect her, you know?” – Elaine [10:53]
• On Social Drinking Challenges:
  “If I’m drinking, I’m in fourth gear, and I don’t have a first gear.” – Bert [15:19]
  “30 Days is tough for you to do.” – Melissa [17:36]
• On Women’s Dating Preferences:
  “A man should not be able to wear your jeans.” – F [27:25]
• Regarding Apathy in Wedding Planning:
  “I just want to have a party. I don’t care. I just want to have a party. I don’t want to plan one thing. Not one.” – Listener Kelly [35:58]
• Reactions to No-Alcohol Reception:
  “What sober adult gets into a photo booth?” – F [38:02]
  “You can sneak in a flask...” – B [38:17]

---

Episode Tone and Style

The Bert Show maintains its signature blend of honesty, humor, and compassion. While they poke fun at each other and their listeners, they never lose the undercurrent of empathy—whether it's a parent's worry, a struggle for self-control, or the pitfalls of modern relationships.

---

Episode Flow

• First third: Focused on a compelling parental dilemma (Spring Break, honesty, safety).
• Middle third: Amusing Lent sacrifices and a cast confessional about habit-breaking.
• Final third: Cultural expectations in dating and a refreshingly unique (almost lazy) approach to wedding planning.

---

For Listeners Who Missed It

Expect genuine laughs, relatable struggles, and a few authentic debates about boundaries and expectations—at home, in relationships, and at the alter. If you’ve ever lied to your parents, tried (and failed) to break a bad habit, or dreaded those exorbitant wedding details, this one’s for you.

Transcript

[A]

Running a business is hard enough. Don't make it harder with a dozen apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. That's software overload. Odoo is the all in one platform that replaces them all. CRM, accounting, inventory, E commerce, hr. Fully integrated, easy to use, and built to grow with your business. Thousands have already made the switch. Why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's odoo.com when you manage procurement for

[B]

multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[C]

The Birch Show Birch Show's Spring break sting operation For a couple of years there, this is the segment that got us more complaints than anything else. And I totally understand why. If you're on spring break and you're a student, you're an easy, easy target. It was too easy. Like, if you're going down to spring break and you're a parent that allows your child to go, then you sort of have to assume that the worst they're gonna party, they're gonna be up all night, they're gonna be getting intimate with guys and women. It's gonna happen.

[B]

You can only hope that you've done your job so that they don't climb from balcony to balcony. They don't do something stupid while they're partying. But you know, they're gonna be partying, you know, so they have protected sex and not unprotected sex. So they have, you know, a good time, but they're still safe while they're doing it. You know what I mean? That's the only thing you can hope for. Or that's the only thing you can really sit down and talk to them about. Cause if you sit down and tell them, don't drink underage, it's just futile, right?

[C]

So we've changed the rules a little bit the last couple of years. Cause in the first couple of years, it was just parents calling up, going, hey, give my kid a call and I'll be listening on the other line. And I really want to see if they're drinking or not. And we're hitting at 100% accuracy, of course. So each year since then, we always get emails from parents that want us to do it. And Tracy's had to be really selective on the ones that we decide that we're going to give the green light to, because there has to be a storyline other than I just want to catch my kid drinking. Cause then it's unfair.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Well, and it's a little hypocritical, too, because I think every person in this room could say we drank underage. Right?

[D]

Sure.

[C]

Yes, for sure.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

So we got a whole bunch of emails the last couple of weeks. And UGA is on spring break this week. I think it was Georgia State last week. I think it's Georgia Tech's next week. So we're starting to get a whole bunch of emails. And Elaine might be a perfect fit. She's on the voice disguiser. Hey, Elaine.

[E]

Hi. Hi, guys. How are you?

[C]

Good. Good morning. How are you?

[E]

I'm good. Well, I think my daughter has some inconsistencies in her story, but I'm good.

[C]

Okay. She's 19 years old. She goes to UGA.

[E]

Yes, that's correct. She's a freshman there. And of course she's on spring break, which is fine. And you guys, what you were talking about is, I agree with. She's going to party. I kind of know that she's drinking. I've taught her well, though, you know, However, I did give her. She's in Panama City with a girl. She's supposed to be, I should say in Panama City with a girlfriend. And I actually gave her $600 to do this because, you know, I mean, I was young. I wanted her to be able to go have fun on her spring break. And she's a smart girl, you know. Well, at least I thought she was. But I was actually over at my sister's and my niece's Facebook page was up and. And my sister was like, hey, you want to see Kelly's Facebook page? And actually, I did. I wanted to check it out and see some pictures and stuff. And on my daughter's wall, I guess it's on the Facebook wall, it's called. There were messages from the girls that she is supposed to be with. Things like, wish you could be here. We're having a great time. We miss you. So she's obviously not with these girls. She's not with the girls. She's supposed to be on spring break. And there's also a 26 year old. least. He's got to be at least 26 year old. Guy that she's, like, in pictures with, you know, very close. Very close, obviously with this guy. So I am thinking that she. I don't know where she is. I don't know what she's doing with my money. I don't know why she's not with her friends, why she's not where she said she'd be. And I want you guys to help me out because I don't know what's going on.

[C]

How many friends are we talking about? Hit her up on her wall saying, hey, wish you could, I wish we were there, or whatever.

[E]

At least three wall posts, I guess, from her friends.

[B]

And these are the girls you thought she was with?

[E]

Different girls. I mean, so they're in.

[D]

They look like they're in Panama City, but she's not in Panama City with.

[E]

No. No.

[F]

So she did her own version of 25 Things My Mom Didn't Know about Me.

[E]

Yeah. So she's got the money she's supposed to be, and she is definitely not with them because they're having a great time without hers. I honestly thought my daughter would know better than to do something like this. And I hate snooping. I'm really not the snooping type. I was honestly checking out her page. I really wasn't snooping. I didn't think she was anywhere she wasn't supposed to be.

[D]

I just think that, as, you know, the older you get does not mean that you lose that part of you that, you know, might check out that page, you know, A little curious.

[B]

I don't blame you.

[E]

You know, my daughter really doesn't hide her page either. I mean, she's making it up public profile anyway, so I don't. It's not like she's hiding it from me. I just happen my niece's page happened to be up and she's a friend of hers. I was really surprised, to be honest. So this is such a friend to me. I don't know where she is. I don't know what she's doing.

[D]

You're a freshman in college and you got mom's permission to go down and party in Panama City with your girlfriends,

[C]

and you're still screwing it up.

[F]

Rookie mistake.

[E]

I mean, I don't know. I mean, from a picture. There's several pictures where she is all over this guy. He's definitely late 20s.

[C]

Mom, I cannot live with all this freedom that you're giving me. Yeah.

[D]

Aw.

[F]

Had she been honest with you and said she wanted to go on a trip with her boyfriend for spring break, would you have granted her, the permission?

[E]

I don't think so. That's a tough question. I don't know, it didn't come up, so I didn't think I'd have to make that decision.

[C]

Has she even told you that she was involved with a guy?

[E]

Nothing.

[C]

Nothing. You know nothing about this dude down

[E]

there as girlfriends to hang out, have a good time. She's not involved with anybody as far as I know. I'm definitely questioning everything at this point. You know, she's not with her friends.

[F]

Will she caught.

[G]

I'm worried.

[E]

I'm actually worried. I mean, I'm assuming she's with this guy, but that doesn't make me feel better because this guy looks like a jerk.

[F]

So will she call you to check in or anything?

[E]

I'm hoping to hear from her like maybe tomorrow.

[C]

Within the pictures that you've seen with her and this 26 year old guy, are they in a beach setting or are they just in a bar? They're not even at a beach.

[E]

It looks like they're in every kind of setting. A lot of bar settings.

[C]

But you know how you can tell if somebody's at the beach? Like even in a bar setting you'd have like, you look sunburned or you'd have a. You just dress differently at a beach bar. Do you have any indication that she's anywhere near a beach?

[E]

No, I don't think she's done a typical spring break.

[D]

But are these pictures recent? Are these pictures pictures now or are you just looking at old pictures?

[E]

It looks like over a span of time. I mean, her hair changed, you know.

[D]

Right.

[H]

These were.

[D]

These are not pictures posted this week. So these were not pictures of where she is now. So she has no idea she's with

[E]

somebody she actually is probably dating, who I didn't even know she was dating and is likely with him this week.

[C]

Here is David. Who says that. Look, you're totally overreacting. You might be in the wrong here. David. Go ahead.

[G]

Yeah. Don't you realize that your daughter's 19 years old? She's in college. Like you have no control over where she goes.

[F]

Well, I just write the check.

[E]

Yeah, but if she's gonna lie to me, why is she lying?

[G]

I just think you're taking it way too far.

[F]

But mom wrote the check. Yeah, mom wrote the check.

[D]

$600. I think you're. I think your argument is invalid.

[C]

David, do you think that, like, if there's no money involved here, then you. It's a different story.

[G]

I feel it's the same way either Way, she gave her the money to go have a good time. She's having a good time with a guy.

[F]

She gave her the money to go with her friends.

[G]

I mean, I did.

[E]

There were very clear, you know, boundaries here. I mean, she was going with her girlfriends, they were going together, they were staying together. To me, when I gave her the money, she. I had no idea. She was lying to my face.

[F]

She committed fraud.

[B]

I just don't understand. What's her motivation on not telling you? Because if she is 19 and she's at UGA and she has an older boyfriend, why not just tell you that? You know what I mean? Like, what are you gonna do about it? She's at college, right? She's gonna date whoever she wants to date. So I'm just curious why she felt like she had to keep it a secret from you.

[E]

I think that's what really concerns me

[B]

is that especially as a parent who gives her so much freedom, you know,

[E]

how many things she's actually keeping secret from me. It's not just that she didn't go, you know, how many levels of lying and betraying me as her parent, it's wrong, and it makes me really nervous.

[C]

Hey, Angie. Go ahead. You're part of the Burt Show.

[G]

Yeah. The last caller must be not a father and an idiot, because it does not make a difference. It doesn't make a difference how old they are. You're funding her fund. You're the one that's paying for it. And. And you never know what. These days, you can't just meet people online, and you can't just hook up with people online. You. You have to have a sense of. Of safety. And. And she obviously is not even thinking in that realm. She's not thinking of how, you know, it's great that you met him, and you may have known him for a couple of months, but now you're on a personal trip that your mother doesn't know. What if something happened? Your mother has no clue where you are. She can't come and help you. We're mothers. We are like, we want to protect them, and we want to make sure. We may not be able to help you in every situation, but that the last caller is insane. He shouldn't even wasted the call time. But I would feel the same exact way. If I'm paying. I've given you $600. I better know where you are.

[C]

It does change things with the money.

[F]

I want her to be my mom. I feel very safe and protected.

[C]

This is actually a great examp of if we were gonna do a spring break sting. Why we would do one rather than just call down there and bust some student that you know is gonna be drunk. There's reason to call down there. Yes, and there's reason to find out where she is. So, Elaine, give us 24 hours. We'll get the phone numbers and we will try to call down. Or producer Tracy will set it up to where we can get her on and she'll give us the truth.

[E]

I would really appreciate it, you guys, really.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

I just need to know what's going on. I mean, if something were to happen, I don't know where she is, so I don't know how to protect her, you know?

[C]

Indeed.

[A]

The Birch Show.

[I]

It's the original HBIC here. If you are out here living your life, being fabulous, being booked, being busy, being the hbic, you need to be taking care of yourself. That's why I love Q Care Plus Prep Doxy Pap baby. It's fast, it's easy, it's online and it comes straight to you. And now they even offer EZ and hair loss treatment with a prep prescription. Get into Q Care plus and stay ready.

[A]

Running a business is hard enough, so why make it harder? With a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. Before you know it, you are drowning in software. Instead of growing your business, this is where Odoo comes in. Odoo is the only business software you'll ever need. It's an all in one fully integrated platform that handles everything. CRM, accounting, inventory, E commerce, HR and more. No more app overload, no more juggling logins. Just one seamless system that makes work easier. And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. It's built to grow with your business whether you are just starting out or already scaling up. Plus, it's easy to use, customizable and designed to streamline every process so you can focus on what really matters running your business. Thousands of businesses have made the switch, so why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's O D O O.com Tyler

[C]

Redick here from 2311 racing another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail] let's Chompa. No purchase necessary BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino. I'm curious what you guys are giving up for Lent. But the more unusual ones, like we're gonna cover, I think some of the basic ones in this room. What's more, the unusual stuff that if you told people you were giving it up, they're like really serious. This is a little strange. We can put you on the voice disguiser if you want. Jeff's wife has given up two major things in her life.

[F]

She's given up alcohol. She's gone 40 days with no booze whatsoever. None. And she's also giving up coffee drive throughs, like going to the drive thru at Starbucks because she. I think she just thinks that she. She was going to Starbucks. We have a really nice. We bought a really nice cool coffee maker for the house like a year ago, two years ago, with the intention of her not going to Starbucks anymore. Like she would use that and it was really expensive, so.

[D]

Worked well, huh?

[F]

Well, it did for a while and then she just started to get back into the coffee thing, like into driving around mindlessly drinking it and stuff. So she gave up going through the drive through. So if she's out, if she wants to walk to the Starbucks near her house, that's cool. Or if she wants to take her laptop and go sit there and be like one of those coffee house workers and stuff, that's cool. But as far as going through the

[C]

drive thruh, not gonna do it. Not allowed. Maria, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[E]

Hi.

[G]

Me and my boyfriend, we gave up sex.

[F]

Why?

[G]

Just because we're. I don't know, we're not supposed to do it. So we just gave it up just to see if it works.

[C]

Who says you're not supposed to do it?

[G]

Well, we're both Catholic, so.

[C]

The Bible, so God.

[G]

Yeah. So we're both Catholics, so we decided it'd be best if we gave it up. But it hasn't worked yet.

[C]

So how many days?

[G]

We've given it up every year and it hasn't worked.

[C]

How many days were you into your promise to God before you gave sex back to you?

[G]

Last year? It went two weeks.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

How long has it gone this year?

[G]

This year it's been the whole time. So I think it's a week and a half.

[F]

Nice week and a half.

[I]

Good.

[C]

Godspeed.

[D]

I love how you talk about this promise to God when you haven't even decided whether you're going to do this or not or give up anything for Len even that's already started.

[C]

Well, I don't really have deep religious roots or anything like that, but I'm giving up drinking. Drinking for the next 30 days. And it just happens to fall during Lent, so. I could call it that.

[E]

Come on.

[C]

What spurred it on this weekend? Drinking. I'm just not. I suck.

[B]

Are you sure you don't want to wait till after St. Patrick's Day?

[C]

Yes, I'm positive.

[F]

So what happened this weekend?

[C]

I'm sick of being hungover. I'm sick of not being able to, like, just turn it. I get like this from time to time. It's not the first time we've had this talk. It's like, I don't know how to socially drink. If I'm drinking, I'm in fourth gear, and I don't have a first gear. So, like, Thursday night, I go out to have dinner with my friends. We end up over at the W. I'm hungover. On the air on Friday, Saturday. I knew what was gonna happen Saturday. But, yeah, I just felt like crap on Sunday. And the family comes home and it's a wasted day. And I didn't even feel right on the air yesterday. I just wanted. I've never given up drinking for 30 straight days.

[B]

I have a bigger challenge.

[C]

No, I haven't. I've given it up. I was doing the two drinks when I went out thing when I was.

[F]

No, there was a time on this

[D]

show that you've completed that you've had to it over and over again.

[C]

Did I do it? Did I do the 30 days?

[F]

Multiple times you've done it, You've done it more than once where you've gone, like, okay, I'm not gonna drink one of them.

[C]

See, it's also robbing me of my memory.

[B]

T shirt. The guy without his shirt. The first picture.

[C]

I didn't give it up entirely. I was allowed to have two drinks a night, which I was good about. Now I'm giving it up entirely.

[F]

And there was one time, because I remember being. It must have been years ago because Vision was open.

[D]

It sounds pretty sad that you could have two drinks a night and you were cutting back.

[C]

Two drinks a night. That was way cutting back. Do most people just have two drinks a night?

[B]

I don'. I think that's actually a bigger challenge.

[C]

Is what?

[B]

For you to be able to go out and have one or two drinks.

[C]

Stacy said the exact same thing to me last night. She said giving it up is a conference.

[B]

Yeah, that's easy for you to do because then you just don't go out. The bigger challenge is the other way around.

[F]

Had the conversation about being at Vision once when you were there sober, completely, no drinking at all. You hated it.

[C]

I didn't like that.

[F]

Well, I think that has more to do with the people that are around you than you at that point. Because Vision. Sober, not pretty.

[C]

No. Most of those places. Sober, not pretty. So maybe the real sacrifice is to continue to try to socially drink. Melissa, say what you want to say.

[D]

No, I'm just.

[C]

Don't look at me with those judgmental.

[D]

Just say what you want, because it's not going to work.

[C]

I'd rather you be honest with me than judge me with those eyes.

[D]

It's not gonna work.

[B]

What's not gonna work? Giving it up.

[D]

I care about Burt, but this isn't gonna work because we've been down this road.

[B]

But which one wouldn't work? The one where he doesn't drink at all, or just the.

[D]

I don't think he.

[F]

Listen to her. She hate.

[B]

I don't hate you.

[D]

I'm being honest. I know you don't.

[C]

I know you don't. I'm asking you for honesty.

[D]

I'm giving you honesty. 30 Days is a tough. That's tough for you to do. I'm being honest. Nobody else is being honest.

[B]

Everybody.

[C]

I'm asking you for it. Go for it.

[D]

The thing is that 30 days, I think, is going to be very difficult for you to do not drink at all, ever for 30. A whole month. With St. Patrick's Day and with your buddies, after a while, you're just going to be tired of you not going out with them. Then once you go out, you have a hard time just having one or two drinks.

[C]

Yeah. I'm not disagreeing with you. It's going to be very difficult, which is probably the reason why I have to do it. But I don't know what it proves. Like, if I go 30 days and I don't drink, after the 30 days, I'm gonna start drinking again. So what does it prove?

[F]

I think it don't bother.

[B]

I think the other way could help you change your social patterns. If you can go for a month and limit yourself to a certain number, one or two, whatever you decide, then maybe that changes your pattern after that 30 days. But, like, I agree with Stacy, it's the cop out. If you just go 30 days without.

[C]

That seems like a way tougher challenge, actually, than not giving it up at all. I mean, than giving it up altogether.

[B]

Give it up altogether or just limit.

[F]

So he's not personally challenging himself. He's trying to fast from alcohol for a period of time.

[B]

Well, he said it doesn't have to

[C]

do with Lent no, it really doesn't.

[F]

Yeah, but I mean, you're trying to. You, like, you're.

[C]

No, I think that the end goal would be to learn how to socially drink, because in all these years, I still haven't learned how to do it in all these years. So I think the bigger challenge really would be because I could give up alcohol. I really do. Even though Melissa's saying that I couldn't. I could for 30 days, and I'd be pretty cool about it because I

[B]

think that you've shown your self discipline with the workout routines and the diets and all that kind of stuff that you're able to stick to.

[C]

But being around people, I want to

[D]

go back to because if we've challenged himself before, I am curious to go back to see how successful you were at all the drinking challenges you've given yourself over the time we've been together. And then if it didn't work, figure out why it didn't work.

[F]

I think he's done them. Like, the ones I remember. I don't remember him falling off the wagon. Like, I do remember that you drank one. I do remember the no alcohol one. And I think I would remember if he failed at it because we'd give him a world of grief. So I think I would remember that. But I'm pretty sure he did them all. Like, I think you just have the mentality that when you put your mind to something, I'll do it. You complete it, unless you get drunk before then.

[C]

I think the tougher challenge would be to try to socially drink than it would be to give it up at all.

[B]

Wonder how you can set limits with your friends? Like, who can help you Pairs my problems.

[C]

Those damn friends.

[F]

Well, first, you need new friends.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, Lindsay. Go ahead. You're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Good morning.

[C]

Good morning.

[E]

I'm actually giving two things. One basic, and the major one is I don't like to wear underwear, so I'm going to wear underwear.

[B]

Forcing yourself to wear underwear for horny days.

[E]

Nice.

[D]

That's hilarious.

[B]

Quite a pilgrimage.

[C]

Now, in the catholic religion, do you pray to God and tell him exactly what you're giving up?

[E]

I do. That's why I gave up. I didn't feel right saying, you know, gave up.

[C]

What? What was the other one?

[D]

I didn't hear?

[J]

What?

[D]

What did you say?

[B]

Chocolate.

[C]

Chocolate and not wearing underwear.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right. I have to put on underwear for 40 days. I don't know if I can make

[B]

it so restrictive that.

[C]

Hey, Chelsea, you're on Q100 hey guys.

[G]

Good morning.

[E]

How are you?

[C]

Good. How are you?

[E]

Good, good. I am actually giving up all of the trashy reality television shows that I have been addicted to lately.

[C]

Wendy is in shock.

[B]

I'm in shock. There's no way.

[F]

I would like you to explain to us what a non trashy reality show is like, what made the cut that is still viewable.

[G]

Yeah, that's, that's really true. I've actually haven't watched any television other than the news. I haven't watched anything in probably two or three weeks just because I've been really busy.

[E]

And it's amazing how easy it is

[G]

just not to turn on the television. But I was addicted to some of these shows. Like what was my favorite? Rock of Love. One, two, and however many more there are to come. And I love New York. And then there was the Shot at Love and they had the bisexual plan. Then there's I love Money and I

[J]

love Money's Getting Good.

[G]

And I would watch the shows and

[E]

then at the end of the hour, thank God, what a waste of an hour that was.

[G]

So I just put my mind to

[E]

it and I'm giving up those shows and hopefully when, when it's finished, I will not have the need to start watching them again.

[C]

If you add up the hours in any given week that you watch reality tv, how many hours are we talking about?

[E]

Let's see, it's typically in the evenings after I put my kids to bed. So probably at least three hours a night. So I would guess like 20 something hours a week.

[D]

Wow.

[G]

Yeah, they just track me down and

[E]

I find them on the television and I can't.

[F]

They find me.

[C]

They jump out of the T boat,

[D]

changes the channel so that I'm watching it on its own.

[C]

It is hard to avoid. And once you watch the first one, if you get involved in like one character you're in, you're in.

[D]

Oh, I love those shows.

[B]

I'm all about it. Especially if there's like a marathon. Yeah, you gotta watch all of them. I wonder if, if Wendy, you watch even more than that because all those shows come on. Yeah. I mean, there's Rock of Love on Sundays and then there was Tool Academy after that.

[F]

What is Tool? Tool Academy.

[B]

It's where they brought their boyfriends in to be Mr. Awesome. But then they told him they were big tools and they had to graduate from the Tool Academy.

[C]

That is what your life has become.

[F]

My favorite part about those shows like

[C]

that is if I had a morning show on the Rockstar Tool Academy, it would be The Tool Academy.

[F]

My favorite part about those shows is that like none of that happened as an individual project. Like somebody went into a boardroom and said, hey guys, here's my idea. Tool academy. And then 10 other, like there's 10 other people in the room. Like at least seven of them had to say, that's a money maker.

[C]

All in favor of Tool Academy, say aye.

[G]

Aye.

[A]

The Birch show.

[I]

It's the original HBIC here. If you are out here living your life, being fabulous, being booked, being busy, being the hbic, you need to be taking care of yourself. That's why I love Q Care Plus Prep. Doxy Pep baby. It's. It's fast, it's easy, it's online and it comes straight to you. And now they even offer easy and hair loss treatment with a prep prescription. Get into Q Care plus and stay ready.

[A]

Running a business is hard enough, so why make it harder? With a dozen different apps that don't talk to each other. One for sales, another for inventory, a separate one for accounting. Before you know it, you are drowning in software. Instead of growing your business, this is where Odoo comes in. Odoo is the only business software you'll ever need. It's an all in one fully integrated platform that handles everything. CRM, accounting, inventory, E commerce, HR and more. No more app overload, no more juggling logins. Just one seamless system that makes work easier. And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. It's built to grow with your business whether you are just starting out or already scaling up. Plus it's easy to use, customizable and designed to streamline every process so you can focus on what really matters running your business. Thousands of businesses have made the switch, so why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's O D O O.com how

[B]

to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step 1 go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com got it. Step 2 collect your welcome bonus.

[C]

Come to papa. Welcome bonus.

[D]

Step 3 Play hundreds of casino style games for free.

[C]

That's a lot of all for free.

[B]

Step 4 Unleash your excitement.

[F]

Woo hoo.

[E]

Chumba Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade.

[J]

So claim your free welcome bonus now

[E]

and live the chumba life.

[B]

Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary vgw group

[C]

void where prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply I'm always a little reluctant to ask you guys to call in this early because I know you're busy trying to get the kids off or whatever, get into work. But I'm going to try anyway this morning because I read a statistic yesterday that to me was overwhelming. And it also contradicted everything we talked about a couple of times last week. Because last week we were talking about women and how they were more upset about their men gaining weight. Then they led on to their men. Like maybe dudes put on £50 in four years or whatever and their wives haven't said anything. And they were calling us up on the voice disguiser last week and emailing us saying, yeah, you know, I've never told my husband this or my boyfriend, but I think he's gross. Cause all the weight he's gained.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Then I read this in Glamour magazine. It says 6 out of 10 women won't date or even look at a man who is skinnier than they are.

[B]

Oh yeah, Most of my friends are that way.

[C]

Seriously. Maybe as a guy I was shocked by that.

[B]

I'm not. Well, I could not date a guy smaller than me.

[C]

Really.

[B]

It would make me feel inadequate.

[C]

Six out of 10, that means more women won't date a skinny guy than

[B]

would if they're skinnier than you. Yeah. Because I mean from my friends and I that have talked about this, they're like, we want to feel small with a guy.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, we want to feel protected. It's a whole protection thing. A man should protect a woman. So you want a guy that's bigger than you. And it's an attraction thing too. You want to feel attractive to them. And so if you're bigger than them, you feel. I think I would feel less attractive. I do.

[F]

And also I would agree with that because. Cause a man should not be able to wear your jeans.

[B]

Well, that's extra, extra jeans be too big on them.

[F]

Yeah. Like a real, real man doesn't wear skinny jeans.

[C]

I was really surprised by this. Maybe just because I'm a guy. But yeah, to you guys it's like no big deal. It's a no brainer.

[B]

Yeah. Total no brainer. Yeah. Because some of my friends won't date guys not only. Yeah. Not only like shorter, but also width wise. Like it's almost like a comparison of their shoulder width.

[J]

Yeah.

[B]

Like they want a guy who's got more brawn.

[C]

Really. So they'll take an instant look at him and based on his brawn or his thinness. I knew. Lord, no one knows more about short than I do. So I knew that, but I didn't Know, skinny.

[D]

That is so funny because Katie and I have teased about this. Back when I did date guys, I would only date the skinny guys. Like, I didn't want to date the guys that were brawner or meatier. But of course, I was gay, so I ended up. I wanted to date the girlier the guy was, the more I wanted to date.

[B]

I was like, huh, what do you think about this? And he kind of looks like his mom.

[I]

How weird.

[D]

And he's got such nice skin.

[B]

He's a little effeminate.

[C]

Yeah, a little effeminate.

[D]

And it turned me on. Weird.

[C]

That's awesome. 404-741-Q100. Yeah. I thought this was gonna be shocking. Not at all. Not for you guys. Hey, Stacy. Good morning.

[E]

Hey.

[G]

My husband is actually. He weighs more than I do, but he's taller. He's a lot skinnier than I am, and I'm an 18 month old, so trying to keep up with him. He drives me crazy because he will go to McDonald's and get like three double cheeseburgers, two large fries, and a large sweet tea. And still it's so skinny. Drives me crazy.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. This is one of these gender things where I read it yesterday and I'm like, this is really shocking information.

[B]

Yeah, not so much because, like, I don't know, like, when you're, like, laying down or you're like, snuggling or whatever, like, you want to be able to, like, be like, in their arms and not be smothering them.

[D]

Like, you're like the pancake.

[B]

You know what I mean? You want to feel, I don't know, protected. Yeah, you want to be protected. It's just. I want to hug something. You don't want to hug yourself. Yeah. And then, like. Well, it's too early to talk about that.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

No, just be good.

[C]

Be good about it.

[B]

Well, if they're, you know, you're intimate, I'm trying to figure out how to describe it without it being too much for this early. And I haven't had enough coffee yet to make my brain fire that fast.

[F]

But, like, you don't want an intimate partner who you're dominating.

[C]

No, that's not. She was gonna say.

[D]

Not the right choice of words, Jeff, but

[B]

there's certain. Well, it's hard to describe. There's certain. Well, I. I can't say. I can't figure out how to say it. Never mind.

[F]

Tell me. You got to say it now.

[C]

Hold on, hold on.

[F]

Game show music Game show music

[J]

If.

[D]

If you're Doing anything non traditional, then you don't want to, you know, crush anybody as a woman.

[C]

Okay. You don't want the guy to be so fragile. That's.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And if anybody says that to you, then you're not gonna feel sexy.

[G]

Thank you.

[D]

Or skinny.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah. I think you broke me. Is generally not a line that's gonna turn me out a bit in any way, shape or form. Good morning, Nikki.

[D]

Yeah. Women always want to feel small and petite.

[C]

Hey, Nikki.

[G]

Hi. Good morning. Good morning.

[E]

You guys are so funny.

[G]

My boyfriend and I are like Jack Spratt and his wife. He is five foot eleven, about 135, 140 pounds.

[B]

Whoa.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

I'm five two and a big old gal. You know what I mean? So. But it is. There's a lot of insecurities that come with that you all. I don't. I don't know about other women, but, you know, is he cheating on me because I'm not attractive enough? You know, and the whole thing, like you were just talking about in the bedroom. Am I hurting you? Are you okay?

[C]

What's the safe word? What's the safe word? I can't remember the safe word. Yeah. Not shocking material. I looked at that and I'm like, no way.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. I would guess. I would guess if we asked skinny guys if they had a harder time dating than short guys, they might almost have a harder time.

[C]

Seriously.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I would have never predicted that. Yeah. The bird show.

[A]

The bird show.

[C]

So, Lindell. I get in studio this morning, and I just asked Lindell how her weekend went, and it just struck me. It feels like, to me, every time I have talked to Lindell about planning her wedding, it feels like it has been so labored for her. Like, I have never met a woman that it feels to me that dislikes planning a wedding more than you.

[J]

I don't dislike planning my wedding. I just. It's not a big deal to me, and I don't get stressed out about it. I was telling you earlier this morning, it's not important to me that the tablecloths match the wallpaper that matches the carpet. Or, like, what specifically you're eating. If it's chicken rosemary or chicken lemon and milk.

[F]

Be careful what you're saying. Tracy is listening. She is pregnant. We don't need to hurt her heart right now.

[J]

I know.

[F]

The tablecloths don't have to match the napkins.

[J]

Oh, yes, they do, apparently.

[F]

Are you out of your mind? You just got yourself fired.

[J]

I just don't. It's not A big deal to me because I figured people have fun regardless of all the specific little details. But I know that there are girls out there that. That is important to them, and that's great. And then they'll be happy with their wedding, but I'll be happy with my wedding if people enjoy themselves.

[C]

So the whole process, to me, in talking to you, you just feel like it's kind of stupid.

[J]

It's not stupid. It's just I didn't realize how much stuff you'd have to do. And I'm not getting stressed out. And I was telling them last week that it's my mom that stresses me out the most because she gets really anxious about everything, whereas I'm just like, whatever sounds good to me, it works. And I'm just really laid back about it and get things done. And I make. Make a to do list, and everything pretty much gets checked off every week. So.

[C]

How about your fiance? Is he getting stressed out about it?

[J]

No, neither of us are. We're both just really chill and really relaxed.

[C]

And it's the stress around you that's stressing you out.

[J]

Yeah, it's that it's like the most

[B]

probably lackadaisical wedding planning ever. Cause it's not lazy. Y' all are getting it done. You're checking things off the list. But I don't know if lackadaisical is the right word.

[D]

Then I don't think people trust the fact that you're not stressed out, which is.

[B]

Yeah, maybe it's apathetic.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is the first time wedding planning ever, like, you're like, I just want to get married.

[C]

Yeah. This is the first time I've ever heard a woman say when she's planning her own wedding day is, eh, whatever happens, happens. What?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That just goes against your genes right there.

[J]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

You must be lying. You must be covering something up.

[J]

I'm not really a girl.

[F]

I wonder if there's a time that we could open up the phones and have Lindell be in studio and have women who are planning their wedding call up and just like, vent to her about the petty. The thing that you know is petty. The thing that you know, like, I went in there and I went to the shop and I reserved this, you know, Savannah style flatware. But then they rented it to someone else, and I have a signed contract now they have to give me the Savannah Deluxe, and it's different and just unload on you and that. And Linda, you can say it's flatware. What are people describe the flatware at the last wedding you went to.

[C]

That will only anger people more. Calmness will only anger people more if they're looking for some solidarity. And it's not gonna happen.

[J]

It's like, little stuff, like, flatware is important. You'll talk to catering companies, and they'll just specifically not unless you ask the right questions. You don't get the right answers. And so a lot of times you're like, what kind of flatware they use? And I'm like, whoa. Well, we use recyclable. I'm like, I don't want plastic flatware that looks metal. I want actual, you know, flatware that you would use in your own home.

[F]

If I want plastic flatware, I want plastic flatware that looks plastic.

[J]

Yeah, but so a lot of places will.

[C]

I want people to know.

[D]

I don't care.

[F]

Right.

[J]

Barbecue style. No, but stuff like that, that you don't take into consideration. Or. I was talking to Tracy, and she said, make sure you, like, find out how big the plates are. Because they'll just say, oh, yeah, we provide plates. They don't tell you. They're, like, the size of a saucer. And you can't put anything on that other than, like, a bread roll.

[C]

Right. It's like going to that. Like, on the Atlanta magazine dining out thing, where they give you that little itty bitty piece of a dish, and you can't put any real food on it.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It's the same deal. Good morning, Kelly. You're on Q100.

[G]

Lyndall. I am so with you. I'm 37, got engaged in August, have no desire to plan a wedding at all. I told all my girlfriends they can do it. Everyone's like, when's the date? When's the date? I'm like, we don't have a date. I don't care. I just want to have a party. I don't care about any. I don't want to plan one thing. Not one.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's just for other women to hear that. It must be like, who are you? And keep that to yourself.

[J]

We're not alone. There are lots of women out there like, that. You just don't. Because there's the whole Bridezilla myth. You don't come out and just be like, well, I'm completely opposite. It's just not normal, I guess.

[C]

What's going on with the kid issue? Because I know you guys are.

[J]

I have been to so many weddings in the past three years, and that's the best part about me having to plan my wedding. Now I've gotten to see what I do and don't like about everybody else's. And one thing I don't like is little kids at the wedding reception. We don't drink alcohol or anything. And so it's not having to do with, like, it being alcohol related. It's dry wedding reception, whatever. But just seeing the parents bring their kids in car seats, put the car seat on the table that's supposed to sit 10 people, but you can only sit like five because they've got their diaper, bag their kid, and like, all this stuff that totally disrupts just the whole atmosphere of a fun reception because you've got little kids running around, people pulling the tablecloths and the plates on the floor, and it's just not an adult environment.

[C]

So. And you said something about a fun reception, but you said there's not going to be any booze there, right?

[B]

You can have fun without drinking. Bert, I don't know how many.

[F]

What time. What time is this?

[C]

That's a myth to you?

[D]

I was like, wendy. What?

[F]

Somebody told you that?

[B]

What?

[C]

Those are not your ideas. No, it's not.

[F]

What time is the. What time is the reception?

[J]

Ours is in the afternoon.

[F]

Okay.

[J]

It's like one.

[F]

One to one, like four. One to four on a Saturday, right? No alcohol.

[J]

No alcohol.

[F]

One to four on a Saturday, huh?

[D]

It's her wedding and she gets what she wants.

[C]

What are the fun things that are planned for this reception to take the place of the booth?

[J]

Well, since you be there with friends, you can talk to your friends. We've got a photo booth, a dj, Just other stuff to wear.

[F]

What sober adult gets into a photo booth? Let me tell you something. I had a photo booth. I had a photo booth at my birthday party. Early pictures, boring. Late pictures, bribery. That's blackmail right there. So, yeah, you know what?

[B]

You can sneak in a flask if you really need to, but you'll be

[J]

the only drunk person. And we will all laugh.

[C]

Oh, no, there'll be plenty of us.

[J]

You just won't know it then, like eight Mormons.

[B]

So we're not allowed to the ceremony.

[F]

So can we tailgate?

[B]

Do something else? We could pre party tailgating. Tailgate outside the wedding.

[D]

My thing is that we have not received any invitations yet. So I would say based on this

[F]

conversation, she's talking like her wedding's all done. Yet we have never.

[J]

I'm ordering the invitations this week. That's my thing to do.

[D]

No pressure.

[A]

Let me ask you.

[F]

I'm surprised you're not eviting People forward this along. Would. Would it be considered. And answer this honestly, but would it be considered offensive if during the ceremony we did tailgate?

[J]

I wouldn't be offended.

[F]

Would there be anyone in your family who would be offended?

[J]

No.

[F]

Are you sure?

[C]

Come on.

[F]

It's okay if it will.

[C]

I mean, we're probably not. We're gonna do it either way. We're just wondering who.

[A]

We gotta stay away.

[J]

They wouldn't care. It's your decision. It's your. It's you. It's not us.

[C]

But I mean, if you want to. Go to hell.

[F]

Jeff, with the exception of Carter, we're not gonna get Schnocker falling down puking in our.

[C]

As always, the hoodie's drunk.

[F]

It's gonna be like I can't commit to that. It'll be a respect. It'll be a respectful intoxicated. I just think it would be funny to have like bring on a full on get somebody's dually F250 with the grill on the back inflatable chair. And when you pull in from your.

[J]

I would take pictures of that.

[F]

There's the bird show in inflatable furniture. Tailgating.

[J]

Yuri, these are my co workers.

[F]

Yes, yes.

[C]

Flat screen tv.

[D]

You won't have to announce, oh my God, is that the bird show?

[F]

Bird will be on the roof of the Winnebago with no shirt on, heckling people who are going to other weddings. Oh, what's going on? You're going to the Blobsky wedding. Blocky wedding song.

[A]

The bird show.

[I]

It's the original HBIC here. If you are out here living your life, being fabulous, being booked, being busy, being the hbic, you need to be taking care of yourself. That's why I love Q Care plus prep. Oxy pep, baby. It's fast, it's easy, it's online, and it comes straight to you. And now they even offer easy and hair loss treatment with a prep prescription. Get into Q Care plus and stay ready.

[H]

This is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. Listen, I have a bone to pick with these dog food brands calling themselves fresh, natural, healthy. Sounds great. But a lot of these quote unquote fresh dog foods in your fridge are not even 100% human grade. Which is why feed your babies just food for dogs. It's good enough for Biggie and Smalls, my precious babies. So it's good enough for your babies. 100% human grade. Real ingredients. Beef, sweet potatoes, green beans. Delicious. These are foods that you would want to eat. Not that the babies would ever share. Just Food for Dogs is the number one vet recommended fresh dog food, backed by over a decade of research. No marketing fluff. My dogs lose their minds at dinner. They run to the bowl tags wagging, paws tapping, full Broadway performance every single night. So I do care about the food I feed Biggie and Smalls. So go to justfoodfordogs.com for 50% off your first box. No code, no gimmicks, just real fresh food.

[C]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing, Victory Lane. Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side. Race to chumbacasino.com, let's chumba. No purchase necessary. VTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNCS 21 sponsored by Chumba Casino.