Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, May 27 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, May 27 [Vault]

Air Date: May 27, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show crew

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Main Theme / Purpose

Today’s episode mixes warm, humor-filled morning radio with real-life listener dilemmas and lively debates among the cast. Topics range from the cultural significance and controversies around Disney’s “Princess and the Frog,” the pitfalls of mixing family and money, relationship trust issues, gift giving during the holidays, and how couples manage differences about smoking. The show’s purpose, as always, is to be relatable and provide both laughter and real talk on everyday topics.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

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1. “Princess and the Frog” – Representation, Controversy & Parental Perspectives

[01:30 – 17:08]

• Cast Experience: Several cast members and their families saw (or partially saw) "Princess and the Frog." The film's return to hand-drawn animation and its storytelling were praised.

  • “It just had this really warm feel to it. It’s a great movie.” — Carl [01:38]
  • “I got to see half of it…with my goddaughter who is not even three yet. She didn’t make it through the whole thing…thought it was a great movie.” — Melissa [02:04]

• Significance of the First Black Princess:

  • Ross shares his 8-year-old daughter’s awareness of Tiana being the first Black princess.
    • “Daddy, this is the first black princess and I want to go sit on your lap. She’s aware that now. I’ve never told her that...” — Ross [03:01]
    • Discussion on how children pick up on cultural moments naturally, and the importance of seeing themselves in characters.

• Controversy Overview:

  • The group reads and summarizes an article reviewing controversy around Tiana’s character and Prince Naveen’s ambiguous ethnicity.
    • Context: Original plans had the princess as a maid for a white family, leading to backlash and a shift. More outcry arose over the prince not being clearly Black, though he is also not white.
    • “We can have a black president in office but not a black Disney prince?” — Carl, quoting the article [05:34]

• Debate Over Representation:

  • Why did Disney choose a “culturally ambiguous” prince? Is it an opportunity for positive lessons on diversity, or a missed opportunity? Is it adults or children who care the most?
  • “If it was a white guy, then…we’re not, you know, crossing that barrier like I thought we were. But being that it’s a multicultural type…some guy from Maldonia who knows what he is, I can understand.” — Ross [07:19]
  • “This feels like such a contrived debate…in the movie, the dude’s not white.” — Carl [08:19]
  • Discussion includes how Hollywood pairs Black male leads with non-Black female leads to appeal to a mass (whiter) audience.

• What the Movie Means to Families:

  • Ross explains that Tiana’s arrival is significant for his entire family, especially the women, more so than for his daughters.
    • “It’s not just my daughter that’s excited…my wife, my mom, my sisters…” — Ross [09:44]

• Listener Calls:

  • Varying views: Some wish people would relax and simply enjoy representation, while others, especially from Black backgrounds, see the details as meaningful for children’s identity and self-worth.
    • “What’s the big deal? We should be happy about having a Black princess. Stop criticizing…this movie is for kids.” — Mary (Caller) [13:55]
    • “If your 8-year-old daughter comes to you and notices, that’s a big deal.” — Ross [14:36]

• On Toys and Visibility:

  • With Tiana now an option, Black children get a princess to “see themselves” in at Disney World and in costumes.
    • “When my daughter wants to be a princess…every princess has the Cinderella on the front…I wanted to see you…I want to see myself.” — Ross [13:29]

Notable Quotes:

• “I really didn’t see color in this movie.” — Carl [09:17]
• “Cartoons were everything [when I was five], so it is so important for cartoons to be responsible…” — Katie [16:08]

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2. Listener Drama: Bounced Bonus Checks & Family Money Problems

[19:50 – 26:18]

• The Situation:
  Colleen covers for her brother’s bad check at her small company, desperately securing a loan to avoid coworkers missing their Christmas bonuses. She and her husband end up co-signing for her brother.

• Tension & Advice:

  • Crew walks through the timing: Bonuses go out before the check clears. There are worries the check could be deposited or noticed before the replacement money arrives.
  • Listeners call in, some theorizing the boss already knows; others sympathize with Colleen’s anxiety.
  • Moral Takeaway:
    Never mix business and family—or at least, have clear boundaries.
  • “Never work with family. I just—I don’t…it’s a lesson learned.” — Colleen [23:20]

• Real-Time Financial Advice:

  • Cast offers strategic (and sometimes humorous) reminders about how check holds, banking timing, and deadlines work.

Notable Quotes:

• “You’re one of the only listeners who’s actually listened to advice and immediately done something about it…That never happens on our show.” — Melissa [24:50]
• “If you can get it in by whatever your bank’s cutoff is, then you’re cool.” — Jen [24:41]

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3. Gift-Giving Debate: What Is and Isn't a “Real” Present?

[26:19 – 34:12]

• What Counts as a Present?

  • The group debates what gifts are “real”: e.g., food items, non-thoughtful gifts, used items, or practical things like dryer sheets.
  • Grandmothers get “immunity” for giving quirky gifts, but re-gifting or giving generic items is controversial.
  • “A dryer sheet…that’s not a gift. I don’t care how old you are.” — Carl [27:48]
  • “If it’s generic and can go to anyone, it’s not a gift.” — Carl [32:19]

• Listener Stories:

  • Used gifts (movies re-wrapped, used candles), food gifts (chocolate-covered cherries), and impersonal kitchen gadgets spark strong opinions.

Memorable Moments:

• Katie’s defense of “testing out” video game gifts in advance [33:14]
• “If you gift wrap me homemade cookies—bring it then, now you’re telling a tale…” — Jen [29:16]

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4. Relationship Trust: The Secret Car Loan

[36:50 – 45:18]

• Background:
  A listener, Nicole, uncovers a $500 payment from her husband and, worried, investigates. Turns out, he co-signed a car loan for a young coworker against a family agreement—not another woman as feared.

• Resolution:

  • Nicole is relieved but admits being hurt by his secrecy, even with a positive motive.
  • The crew reflects on the importance of trust and open communication.

Notable Quotes:

• “There is a breach there…but he is helping somebody else out.” — Carl [42:13]
• “I felt really bad that I even doubted him, to be honest.” — Nicole [41:54]
• “Let’s just allow it to be what it is.” — Katie [45:09]

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5. Smoking in Relationships: Smoker & Non-Smoker Coexistence

[47:23 – 56:44]

• Bert’s Dilemma:
  Bert’s wife is smoking again due to stress. He wants to set boundaries without nagging or pressuring her to quit.

• Discussion:

  • The cast discusses how habits like smoking can strain relationships, particularly when one person has quit or is a staunch non-smoker.
  • Kate: “If [my wife] started smoking, I would leave her. As a former smoker, my health is far more important…” [53:47]
  • Melissa and Jen note how embarrassment or gross-out factors (smell on shared jackets, hair, etc.) are reasonable things to raise—but ultimately, quitting must come from within.

• Listeners & Practical Suggestions:

  • Callers offer suggestions ranging from new medications (Chantix) to boundary-setting or emotional support.
  • The group keeps coming back to the need for empathy, patience, and self-motivation for change.

Notable Quotes:

• “Smokers have this weird love-hate relationship with smoking…In one week she’ll tell me, you know, why I’m not giving up smoking? Because I like it so much.” — Carl [56:16]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I really didn’t see color in this movie.” — Carl [09:17]
• “Never work with family…lesson learned.” — Colleen [23:20]
• “A dryer sheet…that’s not a gift. I don’t care how old you are.” — Carl [27:48]
• “If it’s generic and can go to anyone, it’s not a gift.” — Carl [32:19]
• “If my wife started smoking, I’d leave her. My health is more important.” — Katie [53:53]
• “If you gift wrap me homemade cookies—bring it then, now you’re telling a tale.” — Jen [29:16]
• “Let’s just allow it to be what it is.” — Katie [45:09]
• “Smokers have this weird love-hate relationship with smoking.” — Carl [56:16]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Princess and the Frog discussion: 01:30 – 17:08
• Listener drama (Colleen and the bonus checks): 19:50 – 26:18
• Gift giving debate: 26:19 – 34:12
• Nicole’s secret car loan drama: 36:50 – 45:18
• Smoking in relationships: 47:23 – 56:44

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Tone & Style

The show mixes lighthearted banter, honest confessions, and caring advice. The cast keeps exchanges natural and funny but is unafraid to get serious, especially on topics involving cultural representation, money, and relationships. Listener calls add depth and variety, showing a community that’s as real and varied as the cast itself.

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Summary for Newcomers

If you missed this episode, you’ll walk away understanding why “Princess and the Frog” matters to so many families, how slippery it can be to mix business with blood, why some gifts just don’t count (no more re-gifted candles, please), that sometimes secrets in marriage aren’t what you think, and how love survives even when one partner lights up and the other can’t stand it. It’s relatable, funny, and as real as morning radio gets.

Transcript

[Bert]

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[Carl]

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[Jen]

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[Carl]

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[Bert]

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[Carl]

The Birch show and a whole bunch of you guys are gonna be seeing Princess and the Frog this weekend.

[Bert]

I suppose you want to kiss.

[Carl]

Kissing would be nice. Yes. So I saw this movie last week with Hayden, at least three fourths of it before I left for the SEC championship. And I thought it was a great movie. I really thought it really is going to be like this classic Disney movie. It's not the computer generated animation that we're used to from Disney. They've gone back to like hand animation and it just had this really warm feel to it. It's a great movie.

[Melissa]

I got to see half of it cause I was in the same theater as Bert and was there with my goddaughter who is not even three yet. So she didn't make it through the whole thing. Oh, yeah, she started running around in the aisles and so we bailed. So I don't know how it ends, but I did get to see the majority of it and thought it was a great movie.

[Carl]

This is Hayden's review of the movie.

[Nicole]

My favorite part of the movie was my 7 year old when the frog was going to kiss the princess and then his mouth went up and then a sack came out. He went like, it all threw up in the theater. It smelled really bad. I would give this movie an A. It's another timeless classic from Disney.

[Carl]

A timeless classic.

[Jen]

How old is he?

[Carl]

Seven years old. Timeless, timeless classic. So producer Carl here, he was excited about the movie. His baby girl was excited about the movie also. And she's how old?

[Ross]

She's eight.

[Carl]

Eight. And why more excited about this Disney movie than others?

[Ross]

And you know what, I asked her about that too. The reason I asked, I specifically asked her, why was she so excited? She said, daddy, this is the first black princess and I want to go sit on your lap. So she, she's aware that now I've never told her that and. But she is aware that this is the first black princess.

[Carl]

Now how would she know that? She's watching tv. Somebody talking about school, I'm sure school.

[Ross]

And her friends. My 8 year old, she hangs with a real high IQ level of friends. So I'm sure they probably, I'm sure that they've talked about it and everything. So we've been up on this for the last, what, since Disney on Ice. So we started Disney on Ice back in September. The next thing you know, I started seeing a bunch of Princess and the frog books come across in the house laying around. So my wife's been buying it. So I've been knowing about this, but I wasn't really aware that she was. I didn't feed it to her. This is the first black princess. She just picked up on it. And that just shows to me how important it is to her subconsciously. So.

[Carl]

So when she said that to you, were you like all of a sudden excited about taking her exact movie?

[Ross]

Exactly. At first I was because I knew it was the first black princess and all that, but when she recognized it and I saw like the twinkle in her eye and she was just like, oh, yeah. That made me want to go ahead and just push this along like, and keep it, you know, keep it in the forefront for my three year old too. She's even starting to realize it.

[Melissa]

Oh, that's so cute.

[Carl]

So cute. So I went to see the movie and I totally forgot about the whole controversy thing.

[Ross]

You know what?

[Jen]

But what's the kind? I don't know. Controversy?

[Ross]

I didn't even know there was controversy until this morning.

[Carl]

Well, here it is. It's. The headline is does Disney's Princess and the Frog deserve the Controversy? And it's a little bit lengthy, so let me just skip around a little bit. In 2006, when Disney first announced they were finally bringing a black princess to the big screen with Princess and the Frog, it was cause for celebration. Long overdue, yet still worth celebrating. The honeymoon didn't last long. The first cries of foul came quickly, with critics bemoaning the lead character's announced name and occupation. She'd be a maid for a white family named Maddie. When her name and occupation were labeled demeaning, Disney was quick to respond, renaming the heroine Tiana and recasting her as a chef. So crisis was averted until early this year anyway, when it was revealed that our groundbreaking African American princess would not, in fact, be falling in love with an African American prince. It's unclear what ethnicity her dreamy prince Naveen is. Exactly. And I've seen the movie, and I didn't know if he was white or if he was black or he was Middle Eastern.

[Katie]

Middle Eastern.

[Melissa]

I was thinking Middle Eastern.

[Carl]

This goes on to say his first name is Indian, he's from the fictional land of Maldonia, and he's voiced by a Brazilian actor. But he's certainly not black. Nor white for that matter. As reported in some camps, outrage ensued, with the popular refrain coming in question form, we can have a black president in office but not a black Disney prince. Are the criticisms warranted or are the reactions excessive? Depends on how you look at it. This article says there are some reasonable questions being asked. If a film set in 1920s New Orleans where most of the characters are black, why isn't the prince? Why make the princess clearly culturally definable, yet the Prince ambiguous? After 70 years of white princess, doesn't the black community deserve a prince to call their own? And on the other hand, at the same time, shouldn't we credit Disney for diversifying their portfolio and promoting inner, interracial relationships? Won't this scenario help teach our kids about racial tolerance? Aren't we all just overreacting here? After all, this is an animated movie for kids about people who transform themselves into frogs. The main characters even spend most of their screen time as reptile amphibians. So why should race even be an issue here? So the question remains, this article says, does Disney deserve all this controversy?

[Jen]

You know what? I'd be fascinated to know on Monday without influencing her at all. I'd like to know if your daughter notices. We can debate it here, but I would like to know on Monday morning if your daughter comes in during the movie, says, daddy, how come the red and black.

[Ross]

Right, Right. You mean the black prince.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Ross]

I don't think she would. And actually, that's what I was gonna say when I first heard that the prince. When I went to the Disney on Ice and saw the prince was a white guy, I. I raised an eyebrow, like, huh? You know, like, okay, well, all right, well, it's not me. I'm a grown man, so it may affect me. But I thought about that, what you said, Bert, that it's not gonna affect my daughter, especially now. Don't get me wrong. If it was a white guy, then it'll be like, ugh, maybe we're not, you know, crossing that bear like I thought we were. But being that it's a multicultural type of person, like some guy from Maldonia who knows what he is, I can understand that.

[Carl]

So if he was white, you'd have a problem with it. But the fact that we really don't know, because he's certainly not white. But he's certainly not black.

[Ross]

Right. Because if he was white, it kind of. It's not really. The whole thing is that it's the first black princess and something that our black little girls can look up to and aspire to become. They can dream of becoming a princess, blah, blah, blah. But he marries a white guy, so, you know, that would kind of.

[Melissa]

That sends a different message.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Even so. Even so. Like, this feels like such a contrived debate to me, because the fact of the matter is, in the movie, the. The dude's not white.

[Ross]

Right?

[Carl]

He's not. He's not black, he's not white. We don't know.

[Ross]

Right. And that's why I don't think that there's a big problem with the. Only with grownups, but with the children, I don't think it'll be an issue with my daughter at all.

[Katie]

I just noticed, like, in movies, I mean, I did. I did notice that it wasn't a black prince when I first saw the commercials. And I've not. Because we. My friends, I've noticed in movies, if it's toward a mass audience, like a hitch, like with Will Smith, they don't put them with a black woman. But if it is a movie that is by a black director geared to a black audience. And they have a full, you know, if it's a Tyler Perry movie or if it's Kenan Wayans movie, they always have, you know, a black man and a black woman together. But mass market movies, they rarely put black and black in the title characters. It's always black and Hispanic.

[Melissa]

I think it is changing, though, because that Beyonce film obsessed, that had a lead black couple, and that was a mainstream film, Right?

[Katie]

That's true.

[Carl]

I'm always the first to say, you know, there are some people that love to use the cliche that I don't see color. I just don't see color. And I'm always the first to say, I definitely see color, but I see it as a positive. Like, I see you black and you bring a cert. You bring things from your culture that I don't know about. I bring things from my culture. And I think that's a good thing, to see each other as different and accept each other. But in this movie, I didn't think about it twice. I never. I really didn't see color in this movie.

[Ross]

But you know what I think the most people, it's not just my daughter that's excited. It's my wife, my mom, my sisters, my. So I think the black princess and the white guy or something other than the black affects them more so than my daughter because my daughter's coming with the next phase. She's not affected by that white type, you know, black type thing. So it's good to move forward, I can see. But I also feel the effect of my mom and my sisters and my wife and all of them.

[Carl]

Here's Ross. Good morning, Ross. Thanks for holding on, man.

[Nicole]

Hey, guys. How's it going? To the faith.

[Carl]

Okay, so you see the controversy with this thing. You think it's a problem?

[Nicole]

I think it's a problem first and foremost, like Carl was saying, like, my wife growing up, she was excited to hear that, hey, you know, there is a movie, a Disney movie that's gonna feature a black princess. And then reading into it, come to find out, like you guys said this morning, the prince is really not black. You know, she grew up seeing, you know, Snow White. And, you know, she. She's rescued by a prince, I think, or something like, what was the other one? Regardless of the fact. But she goes and kisses the frog and she becomes a frog, like one of the known ugly creatures on this earth. It's like they get to kiss a prince and, you know, they get to wake up. She gets her prince, you know, she's running around shoeless and stuff. And the first black movie with a black princess in it. She becomes a frog. They're going backwards instead of forward.

[Katie]

Really.

[Jen]

I think that might be thinking one step too far into it. Like that's. I mean, it's a story about. It's a cartoon.

[Carl]

Remember? Now you're coming from a Caucasian background. Right?

[Jen]

Right. But I think, I mean, that's how fairy tales go. Yeah.

[Melissa]

They're supposed to be like that.

[Bert]

But I think imagination.

[Jen]

Cinderella turned back into the, you know, housekeeper at midnight and.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And the print. Yeah.

[Ross]

But just like how you all are naming five different type of stories where you can always also revert to. This is the one story that black. Black women feel that they have to revert to. And it's not first.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Katie]

This is not gonna only be the one that.

[Carl]

Right.

[Ross]

And this is the one and only right now. So just like it's. I can understand what Ross is saying because for older people, it's more important than it is just for the younger people. And this is just that one story. And then within that one story, it's not black this and black that. That one black and light skinned guys. And you know, it's just not direct.

[Melissa]

I'm more offended by the Prince Charming concept than the rest of it. Like that. We're still teaching our little girls like that. Prince Corey Charming's gonna come in and

[Carl]

make it all better for you.

[Melissa]

That to me should be more offensive to your daughters than just a cartoon. I know, but it's the same thing. I mean, it's all these themes that we're teaching them or whatever. I know that's a different topic than what we're on, but come on. Prince Charming's not coming to save you. You can't save yourself, sister.

[Jen]

Don't act right.

[Ross]

Hero. And I was reading this morning. Cause like I said, I didn't realize the controversy. Right. So I was reading online some of the reviews and everything. And one of the other controversies was that the guy, the. The lady was a princess and she kissed. She basically kissed a frog and became a princess and was a frog the whole movie.

[Melissa]

Mm.

[Ross]

So that was another part of the controversy.

[Carl]

I don't understand that point.

[Jen]

That's what that guy was just saying

[Katie]

is that there's not a princess on screen.

[Ross]

Right.

[Carl]

Oh, I see that. She's a fault.

[Katie]

This is a frog.

[Ross]

Right.

[Carl]

And we don't get to see.

[Ross]

Exactly.

[Carl]

I gotcha. I gotcha.

[Katie]

The one thing I think is also so important is you know, you talk about your family, but like, when we go on Burt's Big Adventure, one of the things that Walt Disney World has is princess gowns. And they have the picture of the princess on the chest for the gowns. And so I am so excited that there is going to be a choice for black children to be able to go to Walt Disney World and not have to pick from all the white or even Indian princesses. They actually have one for themselves.

[Ross]

That's the controversy that I have every year. Every year around Halloween time, when my daughter wants to be a princess, I'm like, yeah, baby, you can be a princess. But every princess has the princess of Cinderella on the front. And don't get me wrong, I'm not, you know, I'm not a racist, but I wanted to see you.

[Katie]

But if you're in a minority, I

[Ross]

want to see myself.

[Katie]

You want to see yourself.

[Ross]

So I can really appreciate Disney for doing this for the last 100 years.

[Carl]

Hey, Mary. Good morning.

[Nicole]

Hi. Good morning. I love you guys.

[Carl]

Thank you. Loving you right back, darling.

[Nicole]

Yes. I think we're just overreacting a little bit sometimes. I don't know, we as black people, we can tend to criticize every little thing. And I just feel like, you know, what's the big deal? I mean, we should be happy about having a black princess. Stop criticizing about who cares about what color the prince is. I mean, this movie is for kids anyway. Are you looking at that? I mean, sometimes we, as adults, we need to kind of, you know, just step back from that.

[Carl]

There is no way to make everybody happy, I guess, in a movie like this.

[Ross]

Well, and for, to her, to her response, I mean, she said, what's the big deal? You could think that, but when your 8 year old daughter comes to you and notices that, that that's a big deal.

[Carl]

It is, right?

[Ross]

Subconscious. She, she noticed that. So it is a big deal. And I think you should take it as a big deal.

[Carl]

And I also want to remind, you know, like, white people are going to have a tendency, I think, to brush something like this off and say that there's no controversy at all. But if you're a white person, you don't know the black culture and you've never had to live in the black culture your entire life and know what that's like. So you really can't brush it off. You really can't because we just don't know.

[Ross]

Hey, Bert, you got a black pass, man.

[Carl]

Finally got it.

[Ross]

Take this long.

[Jen]

It's not that permanent. You still have an elf on the shelf.

[Carl]

Hey, Joy, what's up?

[Nicole]

Hey, good morning, Bird Show. I really enjoy you guys every day.

[Carl]

Thank you.

[Nicole]

I guess I'm just not aware so much of the racial controversy that doesn't cross my mind. But now that I've heard this, I do think it's kind of cool that the little black girls will have a princess that they feel like they can identify with. And I think that's cool. But I almost feel like, you know, Woody in Toy Story needs to say it's a cartoon. You know the line from Toy Story where he tells Buzz Lightyear, you're a toy, you're a child, and it's a cartoon, it's a story. And when were five, it was everything. Enjoy it instead of analyze everything to death right now.

[Carl]

And adults do that. We leave that for the adults, not for the kids.

[Katie]

Yeah. And the only thing I want to disagree with is when I was five years old, these cartoons were everything.

[Ross]

All you know.

[Katie]

Yes, all you know. So it is so important for cartoons to be responsible in the best way they can for these children.

[Carl]

So, Hayden, my 7 year old, what is this story all about?

[Nicole]

The movie is about a prince that, that is really charming and handsome. And the next thing we notice, he's a frog. And then his servant, he's. He's the prince. And then, and then the prince kisses the, then the prince kisses the. Then the princess kisses the frog and then she turns to a rock and they go in this adventure, meet this alligator. They go to gagas. And then, and then they kid. And then the girl kissed them and then they came. They became humans again.

[Carl]

Your kids never get like that where they have so much they want to say and they just can't get it through the filter fast enough.

[Ross]

It sounds like Phoenix and Furby right in front of them. That's what it sounds like.

[Carl]

The Bird Show.

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Everybody's talking about weight loss injections because the results are so dramatic. They work by lowering blood sugar and reducing appetite. So what if you're looking to lose weight but not interested in painful weekly injections, especially when you hear about some of those intense side effects. That's why doctors created a weight loss supplement called Lean. And the results are remarkable. The studied ingredients in Lean have been shown to lower your blood sugar, burn fat by converting it into energy and curb your appetite and cravings so you're not as hungry. But listen, Lean is not for the casual dieter. With only a few pounds to lose, the doctors at Brickhouse Nutrition created Lean for frustrated divers with 10 or more pounds to lose. Here is even better news. They're having a huge Memorial Day sale and lean is 25% off. Visit takelean.com and enter. Thank you. 25 for 25% off. It's promo code. Thankyou [e-mail] okay, can we talk about

[Bert]

how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the WeGovi pill and the WeGovi pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.combird for hers.com bird weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhurst.com

[Carl]

hello. Terrazas and stock trikes Naturals. The Birch Show. It's supposed to happen tonight for Colleen at a Christmas party here.

[Melissa]

Yeah, basically Colleen called us up and told us she was in a really sticky situation because she works for a fairly small company and she had her brother come to the company to get some work done while her brother got this project done with. But he didn't clear the check. He wrote the company a pretty big check and it bounced. So she's been covering for him over the last six weeks trying to figure out what to do. Well, the boss of the company turned around and said, hey, we got all this, you know, money from this latest project, whatever. Let's turn around, give everybody Christmas bonuses. And so tonight's the holiday party where everybody's supposed to receive their bonuses. Plus the boss told one of the six employees at the office that they were getting bonuses. So it's probably Spread like wildfire. And it's not gonna be necessarily a surprise tonight. It's actually gonna be expected at the holiday party. So we were telling her the other day she needed to go get a loan or something to figure it out.

[Carl]

And there's one small little detail also, that what she and her brother have been doing is a felony. That's a problem. So how's she gonna make this right before the holiday party tonight? Colleen's back with us. Hey, Colleen.

[Nicole]

Good morning.

[Carl]

Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser. When you called us a couple of days ago, I don't think any of us realized that what you were doing, that you could go to jail for something like that.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I guess I didn't realize it either.

[Carl]

So now that you do, what have you done about it? Yeah.

[Melissa]

Huh.

[Nicole]

I. I took some advice of some people that called and I went to the bank to. Well, actually my brother, I went with my brother to get a loan and naturally I had this end up co signing for him, my husband and I, which he's thrilled about. But I'm still a little bit nervous because the check, we don't get the check until Monday, but for the loan. So, I mean, I got the situation taken care of, but the checks are going out to, you know, all my co workers tonight, so. Well, if you get money's not there yet.

[Katie]

Well, I mean, not. Not that I've ever floated checks or had bad credit, but you know, if you get that money in there before 2 o' clock on Monday, then you should be fine.

[Jen]

Well, what if the party is tonight?

[Katie]

Even if they deposit the check tonight, it doesn't.

[Jen]

What if they walk the check into the bank tomorrow?

[Melissa]

What if they try till Monday?

[Katie]

Still won't clear till Monday on the

[Melissa]

weekends, even though they're open, will they check it?

[Katie]

Well, I mean, they'll put it in, but it won't process until Monday and

[Carl]

by that time she'd have the cash in.

[Katie]

And if you get that cash in there in the bank Monday morning, then

[Melissa]

fingers crossed the loan comes through on Monday.

[Carl]

Yeah, and what if it doesn't?

[Nicole]

Right? I know. I mean, you know, I've never taken out a loan like this before, you know, other than just like your standard home financing. So there's just all this paperwork and I'm. They're saying it's going to be done on Monday, but I'm just like, what if somebody walks into the bank and tries to cash the check?

[Melissa]

Have you been approved for the loan?

[Nicole]

My husband and I have been approved as well. I mean, he was approved with my brother. Was approved with us as co signing for him.

[Melissa]

Okay, so your brother is taking responsibility for it.

[Nicole]

Well, yeah, but, you know, being as though he hasn't come forward with the money for the website, I mean, he'll. Who knows if he's going to pay the loan. So that just created stress in my household.

[Carl]

Tara has.

[Nicole]

The whole thing's a disaster.

[Carl]

Yeah, totally.

[Jen]

It is.

[Nicole]

Never work with family. I just. I don't. It's a lesson learned. But I just. I'm so nervous about tonight.

[Carl]

Here's Tara. She has a theory. Hey, Tara.

[Nicole]

Hey. Love you guys. Show.

[Katie]

Thank you.

[Nicole]

I totally think the boss has set her up.

[Katie]

The boss has set her up.

[Nicole]

He knows. He knows that the text already bounced. He's the boss.

[Carl]

You think that's possible, Colleen?

[Nicole]

I know just because I know the type of person that he is. Like, he's so. He's a really good guy and he's a very direct person that if he had a question, he would just come straight to me and ask. I just. It's out of character for him to do something like that.

[Melissa]

Well, you might actually pull this off.

[Carl]

It's gonna be right down to the wire, though. You're talking about a no sleep weekend.

[Jen]

I tell you what, Monday is gonna come and every time your phone rings, you're gonna jump.

[Bert]

Can you post.

[Nicole]

Gonna fall into my stomach.

[Bert]

Can you post date their bonus checks to maybe Tuesday?

[Nicole]

No, because the bot. Like the checks have already been cut because my boss wanted to physically hand them out tonight. So he already has the checks in hand. He made me cut them last night before I left the office.

[Katie]

That money's got to be.

[Jen]

You're fine. You know what? I know it's nerve wracking, but if what Melissa says is still accurate, it's

[Katie]

still accurate for the days in which

[Jen]

I had no credit because I did that too. Floating the checks from here and there. Like if you can get it in by whatever your bank's cutoff is, then you're cool.

[Melissa]

What I will say is you're one of the only listeners who's actually listened to the advice and immediately done something about it. I'm kidding. That's pretty impressive that, you know, you didn't realize how serious it was, but as soon as you did, you went to your brother, got it figured out, co signed the loan, and like, you're replacing the money, you're making up for your mistake. And I'm impressed because that never happens on our show.

[Carl]

Yeah, this has to end. Well, or it's going to send a really bad message out to other listeners that they've been right all these years.

[Nicole]

I don't. I don't know. I'm just nervous.

[Carl]

Yeah, I'd be nervous, too, if I were you. There's a lot at stake here.

[Katie]

So we need to talk to you on Tuesday to see if everything went well on Monday.

[Nicole]

If it didn't. If I got the loan.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jen]

If it didn't go well, will you use your one collect call to give us an update?

[Nicole]

Right. If you don't. If I don't answer my phone, I guess you'll know why. Because I got found out. I don't know.

[Carl]

Michelle here may put your mind a little bit more at ease. Hey, Michelle. Go ahead. I got about 15 seconds.

[Nicole]

Oh, I just wanted to tell her sometimes she needs to be aware that a large check like that, they'll hold them for about five days.

[Jen]

Oh, crap.

[Nicole]

Before they release the money into the account.

[Melissa]

Nice.

[Carl]

Okay.

[Katie]

Well, but the person that has the bonus check, I mean, they wouldn't. They would know that. They're just happy they're getting the bonus at all. You know what I mean?

[Jen]

Yeah, but if the check. If the money's not there, the money should have been there, what, a month ago or however long ago she's gonna be a long weekend. I hope she likes to drink.

[Carl]

Colleen, we'll talk to you early next week, okay?

[Nicole]

All right. Thank you guys so much.

[Carl]

Good luck.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Carl]

Bye. Bye. The bird show. The bird show. Let me state the obvious here. These are the prime shopping days. Probably this weekend, like next weekend, you're in a panic. But if you do the seasons right, you know, probably this weekend, you're gonna head out at some point, you're gonna start getting presents for Christmas, right? So let's have an open discussion here. 404-741. Q100. What really is a present and what is not a present?

[Jen]

Thank you.

[Carl]

Okay, you want to start? Because there are. There are some people, like my wife, she just wants to open something. She just enjoys the tradition and the. Just loves opening packages. Like, I could put spoons, just one spoon, but she loves just

[Nicole]

a spoon.

[Carl]

You shouldn't have. But there are some things that constitute a real present, a legitimate present. And some things are just in the stocking or under the tree just for taking up space. And I think we need to define what is a present and what is not a present.

[Jen]

And I think. And I know people are going to get mad at me because this is, you know, a Grandmotherly thing. But among other things, my grandmother would give. Well, the ones I remember, like after I moved out of the house, would give a small little box and in it would be non gift gifts.

[Katie]

But those are. Grandmothers get immunity for them. Yeah.

[Melissa]

What's a non gift gift? What are you even talking about?

[Jen]

Dryer sheets.

[Carl]

That's not a gift.

[Bert]

That's hilarious.

[Carl]

That's not a gift. I don't care how old you are, Melissa. I don't care how old you are.

[Katie]

I know.

[Jen]

A dryer sheet. If I might.

[Katie]

You gotta choose your battles. And I'm not gonna battle grandma.

[Jen]

Okay, well, take grandma out of it. Because the tradition has been continued. Like, and they're like, we will get a box for whatever reason. And what time is it? Okay. They're not listening. For whatever reason. My parents, if you mention it one time that you like something or they even see you, like, eat something or whatever, they get this weird thing in their mind that that's like your favorite food, right? So every year we will get a gift wrapped bag of Oreo double stuffed cookies.

[Melissa]

Because some. At some point you said one was good.

[Jen]

We must have had them like we were.

[Carl]

I think here's where I disagree.

[Jen]

Right?

[Carl]

That is a gift.

[Jen]

No, it's not.

[Carl]

Here's my line of delineation. My definition. See, that gift right there came from a place of love. The ones that are just random and can be given to anybody and they're just filler ones, like coasters or.

[Jen]

That is a filler one.

[Carl]

That's a filler one, but not the Oreo one. There's a connection. They think you love that food, so that's a legitimate gift.

[Jen]

But it's not like there's no challenge to it. Guess what? If I really was a huge double Stuf fan? Just go to Kroger and buy them.

[Melissa]

They're special and they think they're special.

[Bert]

Homemade.

[Jen]

You know what? If they gift wrapped me homemade cookies, Bring it then. Now you're telling a tale. But if they bought something with a 2 for 1 coupon and they kept one and gave me the other one. Not a gift.

[Carl]

N a G. Lauren, what goes on the not a gift list?

[Nicole]

One of those tin containers with the popcorn in it. I mean, what is that?

[Melissa]

I love that.

[Carl]

No way. That's crap. She's right.

[Nicole]

Cheese is the best face. They are a nightmare.

[Carl]

That's not a real gift.

[Katie]

It depends.

[Melissa]

The cheese popcorn is so yummy.

[Katie]

It depends on who's giving it to me. If it's somebody that doesn't know me and they don't know what to get me. And they got me the tin of popcorn. I mean, it's a sweet gesture.

[Melissa]

It's a sweet gesture, yes.

[Katie]

But if it is my sister, then I'm mad.

[Carl]

Unless at one point or another you have told her how much you love cheddar popcorn. Then if you get a tin filled with cheddar popcorn, it's legit. But if it's random like Jen said, that's a business associate gift and it's not a family gift. Not legit. Hey, Heather. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Hey, guys.

[Carl]

Hey.

[Nicole]

I was listening to Jeff and I have to agree. My grandmother would always give us a box of chocolate covered cherries, and I hate chocolate covered cherries.

[Melissa]

But she thinks you love them. That happened to my aunt for years. One year somebody gave that to my aunt, my mom's younger sister.

[Katie]

And so.

[Melissa]

And she, you know, overreacted just to be polite to the gift she got him for like 10 years straight. And then one year she just broke down crying on Christmas and was like, I have to confess to y', all something Cherry. She's like, I don't like.

[Carl]

They're horrible. And I am upset every year you get it for me Under Underwear for your men is not a legitimate present unless it's something that you really dig. You know what I'm saying? Unless you're. If you're getting the underwear for a guy that is going to turn around in a present later on in the night for him, you know what I'm saying? That's the daily underwear. That's not a present.

[Melissa]

Guys only get underwear twice a year, your birthday and Christmas. So we gotta buy it for you.

[Jen]

I buy my own underwear.

[Carl]

Indeed.

[Melissa]

Some guys don't.

[Jen]

What if you got as a gift that underwear from that catalog Jen Hobby had with the fake package in it?

[Nicole]

Your wife. Oh, yeah.

[Carl]

You're not allowed to give that to your husband or your boyfriend or your.

[Jen]

Or your grandson.

[Katie]

Dude, she's just trying to help you out.

[Jen]

Good morning. When I was 10.

[Carl]

Hey, Mary, you're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Hey.

[Carl]

Hi.

[Nicole]

All right. Kitchen gadgets are not gifts.

[Jen]

What? Kitchen gadgets.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Nicole]

Kitchen gadgets. Okay. So like for example, I don't cook. If my husband wants to eat, he does the cooking. Otherwise I call in for pizza or order takeout or whatever. And so it's kind of like the family joke that I don't cook. So I started getting my kitchen gadgets and my mother in law got me a can opener. So kitchen gadgets are not gifts whatsoever.

[Melissa]

They are gifts, though, for kitchen people, but not yet. I mean, I would love kitchen gadgets and all that kind of stuff.

[Carl]

I think this falls under the whole. If it's generic and it can go to anybody, it's not a gift. But if you told me that you're a real kitchen person, then it's a legit gift, right? Good morning, Stephen.

[Nicole]

Good morning, guys. How are y'? All?

[Carl]

Great, thank you.

[Nicole]

Good. Used items. Used items are not Christmas gifts.

[Melissa]

Like what?

[Nicole]

You know how everybody has that crazy relative? Well, mine's my aunt. She took a movie and instead of wrap, you know, she had already used it. So she took Saran Wrap and tried to wrap back up and make it seem like it was a real, you know, unopened gift.

[Jen]

She wrapped. That's great.

[Katie]

I gotta defend that because it could have been. Been new and it could have been tempting.

[Nicole]

Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Because she also gave my sister a used candle.

[Jen]

How do you know it was used?

[Nicole]

This is the rich.

[Katie]

That's a violation.

[Nicole]

It's a. It's a technical violation. It's a foul.

[Katie]

The reason I was talking about that is because I had to quickly wrap a gift for my brother that had to do with a gaming system that Katie saw that I had gotten for him, and she eyed it like, well, he's not going to get it for another couple of weeks, so why don't we use it? So I had to wrap it quickly so that she wouldn't tear into the box and then try to reseal it and then rewrap it.

[Carl]

But if it's a candle with the

[Melissa]

burnt wick on the top, that's bad.

[Jen]

You think there's anyone listening right now who will admit that they are currently using someone's Christmas gift, and then on Christmas Eve, they're going to pack it back up like they.

[Carl]

Not a gift.

[Katie]

Yes, absolutely.

[Jen]

Melissa just said Katie Jo did it.

[Katie]

If it's a gaming system, it's a video game. If it's. Absolutely.

[Jen]

So it's like I'm looking for, like a parents who've got their kids Xbox in the master bedroom, like, hidden in dad's dresser drawer.

[Katie]

Testing it out, Jeff, that's what they're doing is testing it out for Christmas,

[Melissa]

making sure it works, right?

[Katie]

That's right.

[Carl]

Been tested it out for three weeks now. It's working pretty well. Hey, the Birch Show.

[Ad Producer]

Everybody's talking about weight loss injections because the results are so dramatic. They work by lowering blood sugar and reducing appetite. So what if you're looking to lose weight but not interested in painful weekly injections, especially when you hear about some of those intense side effects. That's why doctors created a weight loss supplement called Lean, and the results are remarkable. The studied ingredients in Lean have been shown to lower your blood sugar, burn fat by converting it, get into energy, and curb your appetite and cravings so you're not as hungry. But listen, Lean is not for the casual dieter. With only a few pounds to lose, the doctors at Brickhouse Nutrition created Lean for frustrated divers with 10 or more pounds to lose. Here is even better news. They're having a huge Memorial Day sale and lean is 25% off. Visit takelean.com and enter thank you. 25 for 25% off. That's promo code [e-mail] okay, can we

[Bert]

talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you that's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com Bert borhers.com Bert weightlifts by hers is not available in all 50 states, but Gobi is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s. Get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhurst.com

[Carl]

hello San Quentra Las marcas que los pros preferen Madera, Compuesta palaterras and stock trikes Naturals.

[Nicole]

The first show previously on the Bird Show. We've been married for eight years. I have a job. My husband works. As far as the bill paying, he does everything around Thanksgiving. I was Thinking about the fact that I don't know what's going on, and I'm looking through stuff, and I saw this payment for, like, $500, and it's a car payment, and I'm kind of freaking out a little bit. I haven't said anything to him.

[Carl]

So at that point, she didn't know anything about the payment. So we suggested to her, don't panic yet. Do the research on it. So she did. And the last time she came on, she said, yeah, there's a real car, and there are a couple of names on it, and one of them's not mine. But she didn't know who it was. The bank wouldn't tell her because his

[Katie]

name, Honda, couldn't tell her.

[Nicole]

Right.

[Jen]

You can't legally disclose that.

[Carl]

So Nicole is back. Hey, Nicole.

[Katie]

Nicole.

[Carl]

Hello. Hello. Thought she was back.

[Jen]

Hey, next time this happens, let's all pretend we can hear her. Except for Burt.

[Katie]

Really?

[Carl]

Let's try to get her back on. She must have lost connection. I was corrected on the cam Ale toe.

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Carl]

Somebody called to say that when the guy's jeans are too tight and you can sort of see his junk a little too much. It's a moose knuckle.

[Melissa]

A moose knuckle.

[Katie]

Stop it.

[Carl]

I personally like camel toe better, but moose knuckle apparently will work.

[Jen]

Also, I'm gonna take out a moose

[Nicole]

knuckle now because I want to know

[Melissa]

what a moose knuckle looks like.

[Jen]

You know, moose knuckle used to play football against that cold fellow.

[Katie]

Moose knuckleweck.

[Bert]

That's what I'm gonna name my firstborn.

[Carl]

Moose knuckle. I think Tracy is getting a Nicole whack.

[Melissa]

That's fantastic. I just can't believe there was finally a natural way for you to bring

[Nicole]

it up on the air.

[Carl]

I could have waited for months and months and months.

[Jen]

What was your question, Whitney?

[Melissa]

A moose knuckle who looks at moose's feet?

[Carl]

Hmm.

[Melissa]

Said it looks like a moose knuckle.

[Carl]

Wikipedia that.

[Melissa]

I am binging it. That's awesome. The search results you get is fantastic.

[Carl]

You are gonna have so many viruses on that computer.

[Katie]

I know.

[Melissa]

Corporate's monitoring my computer right now.

[Jen]

What is this?

[Carl]

All right, she's back. Are we done with moose knuckling and cam altoeing? If that word catches on, I want credit right now. Today.

[Jen]

The camel toe That.

[Carl]

I made that up. Hey, Nicole.

[Nicole]

Hi.

[Carl]

Hi. You're back on the voice disguiser. How are you today?

[Nicole]

I'm good.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Carl]

Okay. So the last time we talked to you or the show talked to you. You had done a little research and found out that yes, there is a car that has been being paid by your husband. There was another name on that, but you just didn't know who the name was because the bank sure wouldn't tell you.

[Nicole]

Right? Right.

[Carl]

All right, where are we now?

[Nicole]

Well, it actually turned out to be okay in that I talked to my husband about it, finally confronted him and basically there's this kid who works with him and he's just fresh out of college and he's been working with my husband. My husband really likes him and just have a nice rapport. And unfortunately the company was having, you know, cutbacks last year and this young guy had the opportunity of either losing his job or taking a cutback, you know, taking a pay cut. And he didn't want to lose a job, he really liked it and he talked with my husband about it and he confided in my husband that, you know, he had this old car, that he was about to buy a new car and with the pay cut there was just no way he was going to be able to do it. And he doesn't. He had about a 45 minute hour commute every day, back and forth each way and he really needed a new car. And my husband just said, okay, we'll look into it and I will co sign a loan for you. And he's basically been paying my husband off. He took a part time job in addition to the job he has working at my husband's company. And my husband said that he didn't want to tell me because we did have an agreement about three or four years ago. Something came up in our family and we agreed that we would neither one of us would ever co sign a loan for anyone. And he didn't want to tell me because he knew of that agreement and he kind of felt that he wasn't really doing anything wrong because this young kid was paying him back. So it wasn't like he was giving anybody money for free, you know. And I, I started crying actually when he told me and I felt really bad that I even doubted him, to be honest. And you know, everything worked out, everything was fine and you know that it just, it was a nice end and I was relieved. But deep down in my gut I knew that it was going to be okay. So it was a nice ending kind of thing to this kind of traumatic thing that happened.

[Carl]

Yeah, like this is an acceptable breach right here.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Because he is helping somebody else out. There is a breach there and it's

[Melissa]

not money coming out of your pocket that you don't know about. He just was helping out. But did it still make you feel weird that he couldn't tell you about it?

[Nicole]

Yeah, we talked about that, you know, and then he said, yeah, but you couldn't talk to me either, you know. And so there were a couple issues that came up because of that. And, you know, I believe him. I mean, I trust him. You know, my husband's a good man. And I just, I just, I had some things going on, I guess, that, you know. Yes, I was disappointed that he didn't tell me, you know, but ultimately it's kind of worked itself out.

[Carl]

This has a little hint of that theory that I've told you that I have been able to use on Stacy from time to time. And it goes something like this. If I go out and I spend money on something and I tell Stacy that I spent $1300 and she's utterly shocked. How could you spend that much money on golf clubs when I really only spent $400. She would normally be upset by the 400, but mentally I prepared her for the $1,300. So followed up by the four, it seems okay. She had it in her mind that this guy was paying for a car for another woman. So when he comes forward and he's like, it's just some college, it's a co worker, everything's okay. While that might not have been acceptable if he just said months ago, if he just said, this is what I did, she still worked up over the other thing. This is no problem. No problem. Here is Jennifer. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Good morning. I have a question for the lady on the line. Has she actually looked at the paperwork for the loan? He's already lied to her once. She needs to look at the paperwork. She needs to see it for herself. Have you seen a cool.

[Carl]

Have you seen that, Nicole? Have you seen the paperwork on it?

[Nicole]

Yes, I have actually. Yes, Yes, I did. So you know the names on the loan and you did verify that it was this, this young boy? There's both, both signatures are on the, on the loan. My husband co signs it and this, this young kid's name is on there as well. And the terms, everything is on the paperwork and.

[Carl]

Right.

[Nicole]

The actual amount, the $502, that's all there? Like everything is there. Yeah.

[Carl]

Listeners are going to have a tough time with this. They're not worked out. Okay. There doesn't seem to be any real deception here. There's not another woman he did it out of the goodness of his heart. It's going to be hard for you guys to listen to. We appreciate you sticking through this whole thing.

[Jen]

It's going to be very difficult for you to withhold your comments. This positive outcome on the Bird show.

[Carl]

We're just flexing a new muscle today, Pete.

[Katie]

Yeah, we've got to take some responsibility for that because we've trained our listeners well.

[Melissa]

And amid the whole tiger scandal, everybody's a little skeptical.

[Carl]

Right.

[Katie]

In the past eight years, I think people are pretty skeptical.

[Carl]

So let's just allow it to be what it is.

[Katie]

Well, she saw the paperwork.

[Carl]

So she saw the paperwork. All good. All right, Nicole, thank you very much for giving us some closure on that.

[Jen]

Get it.

[Carl]

The Bird Show.

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[Carl]

hello, You're on the Burt Show. Jen, you can help me with the problem here.

[Melissa]

What's up?

[Carl]

So my, my wife Stacy is smoking again. And I have embraced the thought that pressuring her is not going to make her stop smoking. She is going to smoke until she is ready to stop. I have embraced that now. So there's no more pressure or at least I'm minimizing my pressure as much as I can. And I'm hardly talking to her about it at all now. She's going through a really stressful time right now. We got some financial stuff going on, some other stuff. So she's lighten up. And I think she's a lot like you in that she quits, goes a long time, man, doesn't smoke. And then it just takes a little bit of stress or it takes going out one night with some friends. She gets that cigarette in the mouth, man, and at one becomes two becomes three and all of a sudden smoking every day.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it is that crutch that's easy to fall back on and then you pick up the habit. Right, right. All over again.

[Carl]

And I even see her beating up herself over it every single day. Like I've heard her say that. So disgusting. Like you guys were having a smoke the other night and you I guess were in a really smoke filled room and she walked out of there and she's like, I hate the way I smell right now. I just wanted out of the room. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

[Jen]

I don't want the smoke on my clothes, I want it in my lungs.

[Carl]

But she keeps going back. Like to a non smoker. It doesn't make any logical sense to me but I understand what she's going through. So I'm not pressuring her anymore. Okay. However, I just think it's so gross, y'.

[Nicole]

All.

[Carl]

I mean it's just, it, it's so gross and it just doesn't affect her. Like when she's outside smoking on the porch or whatever, right? And she's wearing one of my jackets when she comes back in the house. Now I put that jacket on later and it smells like smoke. When she comes back in the house and I go to give her a kiss, I can smell the smoke in her hair when she's walking around now. I can just smell it, you know? So my question. I'm not even sure what my question is. Like, I know she's going through a tough time, and I know she's smoking, but as the non smoker in the house, am I allowed to set up some rules on how she can smoke around the house? I don't even know how to approach it.

[Melissa]

I think that depends on.

[Jen]

Guard your camel toe.

[Melissa]

You know, I honestly feel like it depends on the person, you know, because in some situations, it would make you want to smoke less if you knew it was grossing somebody out, that you wanted to not be grossed out by you. But in other ways, it could make you rebel against it, you know, and say, well, screw you. You're not telling me what to do.

[Carl]

How do I dress it without making it sound like I'm pressuring her to stop smoking? Because I really am not. All I. I just don't want to see it, and I don't want to smell it, and I just don't. I sort of want to just turn the other cheek, but that's really nervous smoking, because it reeks.

[Jen]

No matter how many times or how good people smokers think they are at hiding their cigarette smoking, you'll never not be able to smell it.

[Carl]

I don't know about that. I know somebody that's hid it from their spouse for a very long time.

[Jen]

I don't believe that. I think there's.

[Carl]

Unless the spouse is turning the other cheek and doing the same thing I'm doing now, maybe. So what do I do? How do I approach it?

[Melissa]

I don't know, because I really feel like it's. It's an individual couple kind of thing. Because I wouldn't want to tell you to point because my original thought was, well, point it out to Stacey. Just say something like, you know, would you mind not wearing my jacket when you go out? Because I don't want it to smell like smoke when I wear it later. Like, I think that's a very reasonable request. And that wouldn't be something that would upset me. I would feel embarrassed. I would be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry I wore your coat. But in your situation, in your relationship, she might be, like, upset about that. Like, God, Bert is just nagging and nagging and nagging at me. So I don't know what her response is gonna be. And I think it depends on where she is in the stage of wanting to quit or not wanting to quit or not caring or caring or. You know what I mean? It's just such a different thing.

[Carl]

I mean, and I have a history of nagging her about it. And the non nagging probably stopped just a couple months ago.

[Melissa]

So she may throw everything you say about it into the nagging category.

[Jen]

You know, are the holidays the wrong time to even bring it up?

[Nicole]

Bring it up?

[Melissa]

I mean, I think it just depends on the person. It depends on their own personal struggle with it. But I mean, you're right in that she's only gonna be able to do it herself, that she's gonna have to come up with it on her own. And I don't know in what ways that you can give her examples or encouragement or advice or direction or anything at all. I mean, I think.

[Carl]

What would you be open to? Let's say it was you. Let's say it was you and you had a boyfriend who just is so anti smoking in every way, shape or form. What could he say to have you bring your guard down?

[Melissa]

You know, it's tough. Probably that it was gross. Probably that it grossed him out like,

[Carl]

that he doesn't put the wall up

[Melissa]

for you, that he wouldn't want to kiss me because it smelled like that.

[Carl]

She already knows that, though. I don't know what to do.

[Jen]

I think you should start kissing Jen until. You're only gonna kiss Jen until.

[Bert]

Great idea.

[Carl]

That's why I didn't ask you, Jeff.

[Jen]

Just trying to help.

[Carl]

Good morning, Sue. You're on Q100. Hey.

[Jen]

Hey.

[Nicole]

How you doing?

[Carl]

Okay, how are you?

[Jen]

I'm all right.

[Nicole]

I'm a non smoker, never have been. But. Does your wife only smoke outside? She does not smoke in your house, correct? No.

[Carl]

No, no, no, no.

[Nicole]

Oh, well, that's good. And I. My other suggestion was for you to buy her a box of commits for the holidays and wrap them up for her.

[Carl]

What are commits?

[Nicole]

They help you quit smoking.

[Carl]

See, I don't want. That's not my intention here. My intention is not to force her or suggest that this is the time for her to not smoke. I'm embracing the idea that. Look, she's not capable of doing it right now.

[Nicole]

She's not. But you know what? When you're not non smoker and somebody is smoking, it is disgusting. I know that, but yeah, I know you love your wife.

[Katie]

I. I mean, It's a deal breaker for me and Katie, and she knows that because Katie and I are both former smokers. And I think Katie's far more tempted than I am. And I. And I would leave her if she started smoking again.

[Carl]

No, you wouldn't.

[Katie]

Yes, I would. Absolutely would. As a true.

[Carl]

You would give up the entire relationship? Yes, I would start smoking.

[Katie]

Yes, I would.

[Carl]

Really?

[Melissa]

That's your line in the sand?

[Katie]

Because my health is far more important than. Than her smoking. I'm not gonna tiptoe around her. She knows that.

[Carl]

Now. Keep in mind, now, Stacey's not smoking anywhere where I'm smelling the smoke off the cigarette. It's just on her clothes, in her hair, in her mouth, on a jacket that we're sharing in her car when I borrow the car.

[Katie]

No, I love Katie, but it comes down to health for me. And if. And if she disregards hers, then she can't be with me, who has to constantly be concerned about mine.

[Carl]

Good morning, lynn. You're on Q100.

[Nicole]

Good morning. Love the show.

[Carl]

Thank you.

[Nicole]

I just wanted to tell you that there is this new drug that they've got out, and it's called Chantix C H A N T I X. And this drug works.

[Carl]

You guys are having a harder time accepting this concept than I am now. And this is happening in my own house. I don't want to make any suggestions to her that now is the time for her to stop. I'm okay with that. What I'm asking is, how does a non smoker live with a smoker? What can you say to have them have zero trace that there's smoke around the house?

[Bert]

It's smoking courtesy. So what do you do for somebody

[Melissa]

who doesn't, it's so weird.

[Katie]

I don't know.

[Jen]

I know you know. I know the answer. I think you should tell her to try hypnosis. Hypnosis.

[Carl]

I suggested that to her.

[Jen]

And then. But. Or no, I'm sorry. You should try the hypnosis so you don't smell cigarette smoke anymore.

[Carl]

I don't see anything coming in that has a really good. Everybody is making suggestions on how to get her to stop smoking, but that's not what. I'm. Not my intention.

[Katie]

Well, I mean, you probably should be asking who has successfully had a relationship where one's a smoker and one's not, and I don't know about it.

[Jen]

If you have a friend who's hiding it from their spouse, why don't you go to the friend who's successfully hiding it and say, what are you doing

[Carl]

that Might be the answer right there.

[Melissa]

That's the solution.

[Carl]

Hey Amy, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Ross]

Good morning.

[Nicole]

I just want to say I think it's great the place that you're in now. And sometimes it's not so much maybe what we say, but what we do. And if you're going to release a lot of the pressure off of her, she may put the pressure on herself because she's frustrated, she's disgusted by it. But when you're pressuring her, all of that stuff gets anger toward you, but you're releasing it. So now she can deal with it and you'll support her and you'll still care about it, but you're not going to put it on her because you know she's doing what she can. So then she may just get sick of it and pressure herself to stop.

[Carl]

Smokers have this weird love hate relationship with smoking.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Carl]

I've never seen anything like it before. She loves it. I mean, in one week she'll tell me, you know, why I'm not giving up smoking? Because I like it so much. Those words have come out of her mouth.

[Nicole]

Really?

[Carl]

Yes. And the next week she's like, I hate smoking. I absolutely hate everything about it. So, like, if you have any suggestions, go ahead and email me q100atlanta.com Listen it's the vert show during Memorial Day

[Jen]

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[Carl]

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[Bert]

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[Melissa]

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[Bert]

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[Melissa]

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[Bert]

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[Nicole]

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[Bert]

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[Melissa]

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[Bert]

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[Nicole]

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