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Jake Grez (Nurse Jake)
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Host (likely 'Birch')
The Birch show we're asking you guys to call us about your celebrity choking stories. We just had a virtual listener call up and say that she met Jon Bon Jovi for the very first time and she was so nervous that she ended up throwing up on his shoes. God, that's a pretty tough bar to be set at right now.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Yeah, because vomit, that's not going to ever be good.
Host (likely 'Birch')
But he'll always remember you yes or no.
Co-host or Guest
And you'll always remember when you met him.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You made it memorable for Atlanta. Remember that one time we were in Atlanta, that girl threw up on my shoes. So if you got one, give us a call. Not too many coming in, though. Here's John. Good morning.
Caller or Guest
Morning.
Host (likely 'Birch')
How are you, sir?
Caller or Guest
I'm doing well.
How are you?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good, man. Which celebrity did you choke in front of?
Caller or Guest
Renee Zellweger.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Really? What happened?
Caller or Guest
They were filming Cold Mountain on my college campus, College of Charleston. And I saw her across the street and was going to get an autograph. Other people were getting their autographs, and she made eye contact with me, and I landed right on my face because I tripped on the bricks.
Oh, my God.
Co-host or Guest
Did you bleed or get any cuts or anything?
Caller or Guest
I got some cuts on my face.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
On your face.
Caller or Guest
You're actually very, very tiny in person.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah, I've heard that.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Did she give you an autograph for the.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
She did.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Okay, well, you got something better than an autograph, because if she made eye contact, that means she actually opened her eyes. And that's not something you barely see that.
Host (likely 'Birch')
That's. They could get you big money with tmz. All right. How did you choke in front of a celebrity? Four hundred and four.
Caller or Guest
She pulled up on a limo and stopped traffic just because of how rageous I was dressed. And I had a Lady Gaga.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Okay.
Caller or Guest
That's an important crazy pair of sunglasses I made for her. And she pulled up and stopped and was waving and trying to talk to me before we went into the show. And I was just so speechless. So my boyfriend kept on nudging me with his elbow, saying, talk like you waited months for this. And I just didn't say anything. But then I ended up getting to stand front row and give her a pair of sunglasses that she kissed me for and wore them on stage for Poker Face twice.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Cool. Good ending to that. So you actually got to make up for it.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Yeah. Yeah.
Caller or Guest
Like, it was the best concert experience ever. Like, it was better than Madonna. I paid, like, a thousand dollars to see Madonna Forever. It was great.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I would love to see. You know, because she's gonna be on with us on Monday morning. I'd love to get you on and tell her that story and see if she remembers you, if she. If she remembers the Speechless store, the speechless part of this, or she remembers the sunglass front row part.
Caller or Guest
Right.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I wonder if celebrities remember.
Caller or Guest
She remembers the sunglasses. Like, I know she remembers the sunglasses, but the speechless part. Like, I'm sure she remembers the same guy standing there Just with my jaw on the ground, like, being like. Oh, my God, like Lady Gaga, like.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah, and you can't choke on Monday, though. Okay.
Caller or Guest
No, no, no, no.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay, let me. Let me put you on hold and we'll put you on with her on Monday.
Caller or Guest
Oh, all right.
Co-host or Guest
He doesn't know what to say. He was speechless again.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Cute.
Host (likely 'Birch')
He's gonna have all weekend of stress out about that. Why did I agree to that?
Caller or Guest
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
He'll have it all written out on index cards.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Hey, Jenny. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller or Guest
Hi there.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Hello.
Caller or Guest
Do you remember when there was a Blockbuster on Peachtree next to Benihana's and it was 99x and they had little
concerts to back behind it.
Okay. Well, I went there because the Red Hot Chili Peppers were playing in Atlanta and I wanted to meet Anthony Kiedis. And he was out looking at a
CD or something, and I went up to him and I was like 16
years old, and I went up to him and I said, you look familiar,
you little chili pepper.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You called him a little chili pepper?
Caller or Guest
Yes.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Oh, God.
Caller or Guest
What he said and what was his reaction?
He just laughed at me.
And he knew.
I mean, I looked like I was
probably like 12 at the time.
And he just looked at me and he gave me an autograph. And at the time I wrote to Teen magazine or something, and they put him back to the magazine for, like, embarrassing celebrity moments.
And that's my moment.
Host (likely 'Birch')
A little chili pepper at 16 is excusable. Hey, Elizabeth, Good morning.
Caller or Guest
Good morning.
Host (likely 'Birch')
How are you?
Caller or Guest
I was in New York City and I went to see a movie and I saw Keanu Reeves went up to him. Oh, hey, you're really cool. Whatever, you know. And then I went to go see watch the movie, and it turns out he was sitting right behind me. That's really cool. Now I'm kind of deaf. So I used a captioning device. Yeah. So I put it. You have to put it in your cup holder. And it's like a really strange looking thing. He's staring at me, probably wondering what the hell I was doing. And then as I was working the thing, the thing, like, hits me right in the face.
Oh.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Oh, no.
Caller or Guest
Yeah, yeah.
And I turned around and he was, like, looking at me like, whoa.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Well, that's almost his experience.
Caller or Guest
Are you okay? You know, what are you doing? And that was pretty much it. And then, you know, I just explained
what it was, and that's a blessing. So, I don't know.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Hit herself in the head.
Co-host or Guest
She had a Little mini conversation with Keanu Reeves, though. That's cool.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
And then punched herself in the face.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I met Cal Ripken. He's a baseball, like a Hall of Fame baseball player. And he's one of my favorite players ever. And I met him at an event in Washington, D.C. and I was. I turned in like a 12 year old kid and I extended my hand and he extended his hand, and I had nothing to say. And the only thing that came out of my mouth was, I appreciate what you do. Just like that.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
That's all.
Host (likely 'Birch')
That was it. And I'm gonna leave now because I'm a tool.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Now, here's the deal. Did you expect him to be there?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah, I knew he was gonna be there. It's one of the reasons why we went to the party. Yeah.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
See, that's the thing that haunts me about the Bon Jovi has the buildup, is that I knew it wasn't like he surprised me, you know what I mean? It's not like I walked downstairs and he was in Le Centrum Cafe getting a, you know, croissant before us one morning. Like you could have prepared for it.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Right, Right.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Well, that's the worst part, though, because a friend of mine, we used to work.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
I appreciate what you do, Melissa.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
We used to work at a bookstore years ago, and we had authors that would come in, and at the time when Designing Women was this huge, you know, TV show, Dixie Carter had written a book, and she was coming in, and so all the employees were lined up to meet her. So she was going down the line to say hello, thank you so much, and everything, and my friend was at the end of the line and the buildup, and the buildup, and oh, my God, it's Dixie Carter. Oh, my God. And then when she got to her, my friend screamed in her face and ran in the opposite direction, screamed over Dixie Carter.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Didn't we do this before? Maybe. I saw him in an interview talking about this. It was Jamie Foxx and he was staying in a hotel, and he walks into the elevator and it's just one woman there, and he is standing next to her, and she starts to talk to him, but she starts stumbling over all of her words and she gets nervous. And by the time they get to the first floor, he knows that she's so nervous that she passed gas in the elevator.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Oh, no.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Sick.
Caller or Guest
Yeah.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And there's.
Co-host or Guest
I mean, you can't say anything.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You can't say anything about it, but I know. And you know what just happened right there?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Ew.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Listen, it's The Birch Show. The Birch Show. So Joanna, this was like a self imposed challenge. Nobody asked her to do this.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
No. I decided to take it upon myself, and I'm starting to figure out why. Trying to question myself now.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And it was really like to earn Birch show, you know, like stripes. Some cred here. And what was the challenge?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I said that I was going to get either Jamie Foxx, Josh Dumal, or Katherine Heigl on the radio to do an interview.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Don't forget about that Zach Galifiangakis guy.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I can't say his last name. Zach Galifianakis.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Good job.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
You got it.
Co-host or Guest
And Robert Downey Jr. And Robert Downey Jr.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Yes.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
And the reason for that is all those actors are in town filming movies, and they are.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
And so I thought it would be simple. I'll get listeners to shoot me an email or Twitter, you know, like, hit me up on Twitter and let me know if they spot them or see them or anything. And I figured then I could run out there and try and put on the charm and ask them for a little cut.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You bringing somebody with you? Aw, Bert.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Bert, you're rude.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So not licking so mean.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Anyways, I'm gonna ignore the negativity from that side of the room.
Co-host or Guest
Sure.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You know what? Focus on us. We're the positive side.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah. You're in the wrong studio. You may want to go down with the regular guys if you're looking for positivity,
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
so.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Right.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I. You know, a couple weeks ago, I was at work and I got a text message from a friend who said that she ran into Josh, and I couldn't go because I was at work and I work at a pizza place, and I smell and reek of, like, sausage and pepperonis. So I was like, there's no way I can go.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Some guy. Pepperoni is a pheromone, just so you know.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Now, let me ask you a question here. Let's stop here for a second. Did you not go because you thought that because you looked all skanky or whatever and you were smelling like pepperonis and all that.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I never looked skanky, too.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay, let me reverse that. Because you didn't look your best. Was that a personal decision or a professional decision?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Well, both. I mean, I want to look nice. I always have to draw him in with my looks and then really get him with my personality, so.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Or you could just bring someone with you.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Really? No, Jeff, you're real.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You're a jerk.
Co-host or Guest
Anyway, so that day you decided not to go.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
That day I didn't I didn't go well. No, exactly. I was at work. I didn't think I had enough time to get ready and I would have missed him by then. Well, then the other day, my girlfriend tells me the next day that in one of her friends saw him out. Josh Buckhead area. Yeah, Josh. This is the same person. Josh. Like, for some reason, I think he's more accessible than the other. I haven't really heard much from Catherine or Jamie Foxx.
Host (likely 'Birch')
He does. He gets out and I think he gets his drink on pretty good. He likes to have a good time.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I think so.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And you see him spotted more than any of the others.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
And I don't really think that your cleavage is going to attract Katherine Heigl at the same rate it would get Josh Duhamel or Jamie Foxx over to you.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Right. So then I found out that. And then when was it? Wednesday?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Yeah.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I got a text message from Jeff telling me that he was filming in some part of the downtown Atlanta, and I was at work. So I got off work at 5. I went home, I took a shower. I brought my. This time for you guys. And we drove around the area, but we never went in.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Joanna, you're gonna have to tell him the details.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Well, I drove around. I didn't know where to go.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What do you mean you didn't know? Did you tell her exactly where he was?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Yes.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Which was where?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
The CNN Center.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So you just walked right into CNN Center?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I didn't. I was afraid that he wasn't. They were gonna let me in, and I was. We were trying to figure out where to park and I didn't have any cash on me because it's like $20 parking everywhere.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
She didn't know the CNN center was a public space?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Yeah, I didn't know. Yeah, I thought they were gonna, like, stop me and tell me, what are you doing?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
She just drove around the outside of the CNN center three times and said, I don't see any cameras.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You thought it was all news and it would be heavily guarded and all that. You didn't know that there's like a mall in there?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
No, I had no idea what the
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
bottom floor is like.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I'd never been to the CNN Center.
Host (likely 'Birch')
How long have you lived here?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
25 years.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And nobody's ever taken you to the CNN Center?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
I live in the suburbs. Please clarify. Her hair color.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah, it's dark hair.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Thank you.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah, to the Jen and I, the
Co-host or Guest
blondes in the room.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah, she's a brunette.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
It's gonna be really difficult for you to Find a positive side of the room right now.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Aw, honey.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I say a for effort.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
A for effort.
Co-host or Guest
I mean, you tried.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I did. I thought they were gonna stop because I thought you had to work there to get in.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You tried. That's like me saying coming to the show and looking at the front door and then leaving and calling you guys at six, going, hey, guys, sorry. I mean, I tried. I didn't know I was supposed to come upstairs and sit at the microphone.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Well, I went yesterday. I went in and there was nothing.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
It's pretty nice in there, huh?
Host (likely 'Birch')
I think it's funny that you can be here 25 years and not know that you're allowed to go into the CNN Center.
Co-host or Guest
I've never.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I lived in the suburbs. This is my first time living in Atlanta.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So mission not accomplished. Any solid leads at this point for any one of them?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
This weekend, I'm. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen this weekend.
Host (likely 'Birch')
This is it.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
This is it.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Are you saying that out of faith? Are you saying that because you got a great lead in your, like, back pocket?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I think I just have a feeling. I just have this feeling that it's gonna happen this weekend.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay. Hey, Stephanie. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller or Guest
Hey, how are you?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good, how are you?
Caller or Guest
I dated a guy last year who is now one of my best friends. And it was right after the hangover came out. We were hanging out and he was showing me photo albums of his high school and college years and that Galifianakis is actually one of his, like, best friends. And I didn't believe him, so I made him call him. And he really is really good friends with him. He's in all of his pictures. And I know that they've talked since he's been in town. I don't know if they've seen each other. I haven't asked or anything, but. So I might be able to help with that. And I know that Josh Jamal has been at Tim Lizzie's a couple times. I have a friend that has seen him there.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I've heard the same thing.
Caller or Guest
And then he works. My friend, one of my other friends, works at Village Tavern in Alpharetta. And when we were there last Wednesday, the producers came in to check it out to film a scene there. And I don't know when they're going to do it, but they're supposed to be going in there to film a restaurant scene.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
So you should just go to Village Tavern now and not leave and drive
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
around Village Tavern three times.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You're allowed Inside there, You know, they
Caller or Guest
like the seats that they would sit in and make sure that they were reserved and all of that. So I don't know when, but they're supposedly going to film a scene there. I don't know.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Stephanie, can I put you on hold so we might be able to use that Zach Galifianakis contact?
Caller or Guest
Absolutely.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Thank you.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
That's the first time you've ever gotten it right.
Host (likely 'Birch')
That is really hard for me. For some reason.
Co-host or Guest
I'm impressed.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Zach Galifianakis, Yes. Good morning, Christy. You are on Q100.
Caller or Guest
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Excellent. How are you?
Caller or Guest
Good. My roommate actually works at the Spice Market in midtown at the W. And she told me that the Game, the cast from the Game is staying there, and possibly Jamie Foxx, they come down and eat at the Spice Market.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So the Game is the name of the movie that Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. Are working on together. Excuse me, that's the name of the movie is.
Caller or Guest
No, the Game is the show on
the CW or something.
There's somebody on there.
I'm not really good with famous people.
I'm gonna admit that. My roommate has to tell me every time we go out. Oh, that's so and so. That's so and so.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay.
Caller or Guest
But the cast is staying at the Spice Market. I mean, at the W Hotel and eating at a spice Market.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Well, they were up until about a minute ago.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Well, then there you go. Well, if they're staying there, they'll be forced. Sorted to eat there, but that's a good lead. We have some connections down there. Okay, thank you. Appreciate it.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
That show, though, unfortunately, doesn't have any
Host (likely 'Birch')
connection to those celebrities. Yeah, okay, listen, it's the Vert Show. The Vert show. We were talking about this. This flight that I think it was going from San Diego to Minneapolis.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Right, San Diego to Minneapolis. And then the tower couldn't get in touch with the flight, so they were trying to call the pilots, and there was no contact. No contact. Ends up the pilots overshot the airport by 150 miles. Passengers had no idea what was going on. They turned around, went back to Minneapolis, landed, you know, the passengers, no big deal. They didn't think anything about it until when they arrived at the airport, there was a lot of cops on the scene and everything because people were, you know, thinking the worst. And so the pilot said, well, we were actually in an argument over, you know, industry policy.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Who's going to land the plane? You do it. No, you do it.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
They were having an argument. So they were distracted enough to where they missed the airport, and that's why they did it. But the FAA is actually trying to figure out if they were asleep during the flight.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So we started focusing on the sleep part of this whole thing. And I said, do you guys remember we played some audio of a 911 operator once falling asleep on somebody? This one comes from Memphis. This is old.
911 Audio Dispatcher
Here's how it began.
Caller or Guest
I need somebody over here.
911 Audio Dispatcher
Lisa called 911 and got a Memphis operator. She told the operator she was robbed at gunpoint earlier that night. And now she hears someone trying to get into her home.
Caller or Guest
I just heard tapping on my window. I need somebody over here.
911 Audio Dispatcher
Lisa's lifeline then went silent. She continued to explain her situation, but the dispatcher did not respond. Not for just 15 seconds or 30 seconds, but for one full minute. Then sounds of snoring.
Caller or Guest
Yes, ma'.
Am.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
What is the
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
address?
911 Audio Dispatcher
Lisa had already given the dispatcher her address.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Dude. Fellas. 911. Dude.
Caller or Guest
Fellas.
Wow.
Host (likely 'Birch')
There are a couple of places you're just not allowed to fall asleep, and I think we're talking about two of them this morning.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Flying a plane.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Flying a plane at 9 11.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You know what? And didn't Joanna tell us yesterday that your boyfriend fell asleep with his eyes open?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Yes. We were at dinner last week, and he fell asleep with his eyes open at dinner.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You ever see somebody do that?
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Yeah, it was really awkward. Like, we were actually having dessert, and all of a sudden he's kind of, like, staring down at the table, and he goes, what's the score? And mind you, we're in a really nice restaurant, there's no TVs around. And I said, the score to what? And he starts pointing behind him, and he goes, the score. The score. And I said, jason. And he, like, kind of like, you know, like, woke up.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Wow.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
And I go, what were you doing? And he goes, I just fell asleep. And I was like, wow. But in his defenses, you.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Other places, you shouldn't fall asleep while you're having a date on a date with your girlfriend.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
And his defense, he did. He was up for, like, 48 hours a day before, like, at work.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Were you talking about, like, being a bridesmaid or something like that?
Caller or Guest
Yeah, I know.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I was showing you.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
We're like. And then we tried on the periwinkle, but then we think we might go with the taupe instead. What do you think? Do you think we should have ribbons
Caller or Guest
in our hair or not?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Well, I suggested that you would make him miss dessert. That's that's foul.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You think we could have people that would call up that actually fell asleep during sex? It wasn't not alcohol induced. Not alcohol induced, yes, but.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
And they're gonna be all women.
Host (likely 'Birch')
He is just working as hard as he can. And she's, like, dead as you wake up, like, three fourths to it.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Do we. Are we disqualifying Ambien calls?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah. No ambient calls.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
And no alcohol either.
Host (likely 'Birch')
No alcohol. I mean, yeah, it could have been fatigue. You worked late and you just had to get it done and you woke up in the middle of it. 404-741. Q100. Has it happened here?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Oh, yeah.
Caller or Guest
No.
Co-host or Guest
Jen saying nothing.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What's the hand signal?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Is that the drinking thing?
Caller or Guest
Yeah.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
This is supposed to. Listen, we were going to talk to our listeners.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah. This can't be about drinking, though. No way. You just flat out fell asleep and
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
you have to be with other people. Or can it just happen?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Joanna, we will get to your celebrity search here because the phone lines are lit up right now. Awesome. This may be one of those that we can do for hours, unfortunately.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You can thank your boyfriend with narcolepsy for.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I really do think he has narcolepsy, though, because it's not the first. He falls asleep randomly.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
It's bad at a guy that had narcolepsy.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I knew a dude in radio and now he's in Austin that. Yeah, they'd be on the air just talking like this, and all of a sudden somebody else on the show would be talking and they'd take the focus off the guy and you would just hear.
Co-host or Guest
No way.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Is it that instant.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Was that. It's that quickly?
Caller or Guest
Yeah.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
The guy my sister dated, they were out on a date and they stopped at a stoplight, and then the light went green and she looked over and he was slumped in the chair.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Yeah.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Asleep.
Co-host or Guest
Did he wake back up quickly?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
I think she pulled him. I mean, like, she woke him up, but she. Yeah, she said, I'll drive, but yeah.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
It's scary, though, because he stopped what
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
he was doing and just fell asleep.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Is Austin dude the same one with petrified of midgets?
Host (likely 'Birch')
The other guy on that show?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
So that's their show. They got one guy who's scared to death of anyone under 5ft tall, and the other one falls asleep randomly.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Literally. Yeah. Hey, D. Good morning. You have fallen asleep on somebody during sex.
Caller or Guest
I was not on top.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You were not on top?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
I would hope not.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Not either, because that'd be uncomfortable.
Co-host or Guest
Was it boring or you're Just tired.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Because that if you were that, that means they would have to make a phone call to save themselves. It would be awkward for everyone.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So what was it? Just working too late? Didn't you sleep deprived?
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
I made a long road trip to
Caller or Guest
go visit a girl and I was her sorority formal and I flat out fell asleep. It was like maybe the second or third time. And I was like, all right, this
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
isn't keeping me up anymore.
Caller or Guest
And I fell asleep, woke up in the middle, threw my hands back on her. Like I didn't fall asleep. It's kind of like when you catch
Host (likely 'Birch')
yourself and your head nodded and she was looking down at you and you had your eyes closed and she's like, oh, he is so into this.
Caller or Guest
And then I woke up and I threw my hands back up. Like I was there the whole time.
It was.
But it was bad. It was a good save.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And she never knew.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
As long as you're not one of those people who right when they fall asleep, you have that initial one snore, snore like that. One little in the middle of doing it. Then I think you might be able to pull it off if you wake back up within a few seconds.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good morning. Denisha, you're on Q100.
Caller or Guest
Yes.
This wasn't with my husband. This was before I got married. We were having sex and I actually fell asleep. It was a long day and a half. I worked two jobs and was taking care of our daughter. And he went to school and he work and I was just really tired and he wanted to and I just couldn't say I didn't want to. And, you know, so I did. And I don't snore, but I do suck my tongue when I'm asleep. And when I woke up, it was just a really bad day. He was really, really upset with me.
Host (likely 'Birch')
We gotta back up.
Caller or Guest
I knew I was sleep because I
was sucking my tongue.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah, let's. Let's focus on that for a second. What you were doing what?
Caller or Guest
I suck my tongue when I'm asleep.
Co-host or Guest
How do you do that? Do you just pucker up?
Caller or Guest
No, it's like my tongue comes out and I suck on it like someone would suck their thumb.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Oh, my God. That's hilarious.
Co-host or Guest
So your tongue is sticking out. That's hilarious.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
You know, for about a minute and a half, you thought that was way hot.
Caller or Guest
Yeah.
Host (likely 'Birch')
He's like, wow, that's a move I've never seen before.
Co-host or Guest
She's really into it.
Caller or Guest
I do it and my family son does it.
Yes.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
Really?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Wow.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Thank you for Calling here is. This is going to turn ugly in a couple of calls here. Oh, no. First we'll stick to this falling asleep during sex. But then we've got an airline pilot that wants to go on the voice disguiser. That said, he has certainly fallen asleep on a. On one of his flights before.
Co-host or Guest
Awesome.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Wow.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Here is Mary. She wants to be on the voice disguiser. Hey, Mary.
Caller or Guest
Hi. How are ya?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good, how are you?
Caller or Guest
I'm good, thanks.
Host (likely 'Birch')
You fell asleep during sex or he didn't?
Caller or Guest
No, no, no, no. This is my husband. Before we were married, he was in grad school and apparently was very tired and I was servicing him and was in the middle and I heard him snore.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
That's when you call your girlfriends and go, am I doing this right? Yeah.
Caller or Guest
So that means I wasn't offended though, because he was, like I said, in the middle of grad school and was exhausted.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So anatomy wise, it is certainly possible to still be excited, yet be in a deep state of sleep.
Caller or Guest
Yes, apparently.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay, thank you.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
That's funny.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I'm glad she can laugh about it. Cause he certainly can't write about now.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Well, he's blocked that completely from his mind. He's got that post traumatic stress thing where it didn't even happen in his life.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Right, right, right. Okay, so we'll veer away from the sex during sleep or sleep during sex. And we were talking about these pilots. And the hunch here, maybe from the faa, is that these pilots might have fallen asleep during the flight. Tell them they're gonna investigate that.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah, that northwest flight from San Diego to Minneapolis.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Bob here claims that he is a pilot. Hey, Bob.
Caller or Guest
Hey, Bob.
Hey.
How's it going, guys?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good, how are you?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Hey, Bob.
Caller or Guest
Hey, Bob.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Wait, that's me.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I'm Bob.
Caller or Guest
Yeah, I am a pilot, actually for an airline up in Ohio.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay. And is this a common occurrence, man, where you guys turn the plane on, you go on autopilot, you guys doze off for a couple minutes?
Caller or Guest
It is. The only real busy part of flying is the takeoff and the landing, which is about the last 20 minutes and the first 20 minutes. So the rest of it's quite boring. We watch DVDs, read books, sleep, whatever you can kind of do to keep going there. The FAA doesn't, doesn't allow you, forbid you from sleeping. There's nothing in the rules. So it's kind of an unspoken thing that you do.
Host (likely 'Birch')
But you're not supposed to fall asleep during your landing?
Caller or Guest
No, not during the landing. We actually did on the way back from Allentown we were flying. It was the last flight out, the first flight back. Myself and the captain both were talking, and then we quit talking and we woke up. The autopilot locked onto the approach, and we woke up about four miles from the Runway. We both woke up, and we were way off course.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Oh, jeez.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
Do you not have an alarm clock to wake you up?
Caller or Guest
No, no.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
I can't put an alarm clock in a cockpit.
Co-host or Guest
We can bring one. A stopwatch.
Caller or Guest
Yeah, we should have. The captain started swearing, which is all in the voice recorder. The plane veered really hard to the right because we realized what we had done. Told the passengers we were gonna have to go back around and try it again because there was lots of wind, which there was none.
Co-host or Guest
So when. So when pilots make that announcement, we had to try it again. Are half of them lying about it?
Caller or Guest
Yeah, dang it.
Usually it's a legitimate reason. Obviously somebody's on the Runway or something's gone wrong, but, yeah, there's a couple times where the pilots just flat out botch it.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Aren't there, like, all sorts of alarms that go off in the cockpit when you get down to a certain altitude, though, that would wake you up?
Caller or Guest
Yes, some. I mean, we obviously put the gear down and we were locked onto the approach, and then there we go, just flat out asleep. And past that point, there's not a lot left until you get to around 50ft.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
So that's scary.
Caller or Guest (likely 'Joanna')
I have a question.
Co-host or Guest
So if it locks onto that approach and you don't wake up, is it automatically descending?
Caller or Guest
Yes, it is.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
That's the scary part. Oh, my God. The fact that you don't have a manual way to. I mean, that it would lock onto it without you manually telling it ready to.
Caller or Guest
It did the autopilot do kind of weird things sometimes? Ours did, in this case, unfortunately. And it locked on, and it was off to the side of the approach, and then it finally found its way back.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Can it land itself if you don't wake up?
Caller or Guest
Yeah, it's pretty hard, but, yeah, it will. It's not pretty certain. Planes can do more things than others. Our plane can, but it's. In this case, it wasn't set up to do that.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
It's making me think about past flights, you know, because when we went out to LA for American Idol earlier this year, the flight I was on to la, on the approach to la, at some point, the plane made this, you know, incredible upswing that's right near the airport. And so now I'm thinking about it. I wonder, you Know, because it's a cross country flight and what was going on, you know. Hold on.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I want to put you on with a pilot. His name is Joe and he isn't believing your story whatsoever.
Caller or Guest
Fair enough.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And I hope he's right. Good morning, Joe.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
And no matter what, Burton and Melissa will believe Joe.
Caller or Guest
Right.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Hey Joe, good morning.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Good morning.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Bob's still on the voice disguiser if you want to speak directly to him.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
I have a pretty good feeling. He flies for a regional airline and our regional jets do not land themselves. A, there's not any circumstance where a regional jet will land itself. We have to control the aircraft to the ground on takeoff and landing. B, we always have a thing don't. A briefing that the captains give to the first officers. Don't let me wake up and catch you sleeping.
Caller or Guest
That is very true. And that, that does, that unfortunately does happen. We were doing high speeds and let
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
me, let me give the fly the general public an idea of what we go through on any given day.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
That's us.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
We go through 16 hours of work. Sometimes we've been on, we went on duty at six o' clock in the morning and we can be on duty until 10 o' clock at night. Now you throw weather, you throw five, maybe six flights a day and on top of that with no brakes and you know, your body gets fatigued and you know, there are things that the FAA has put in place for us where we can call out fatigue, but a pilot knows that if he does that he's going to disrupt people's travel plans where they're trying to get to and from. So we don't, we don't typically like to do it. And some companies management will reprimand us for doing that.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I gotta tell you, I had zero idea, zero up until this morning that any pilot ever falls asleep in the cockpit. I've seen you guys come out on long flights and take that first class seat or whatever I had. No, I always assumed that you guys were focused on what was in front of you and the instruments at all times.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
Well, let me clear this up for you too. We are always in constant contact with air traffic control. We don't stay on one radio frequency for any given flight. Let me give you an example. One day I counted because there's multiple frequency changes with air traffic control from Montreal to Atlanta. We changed controllers 25 times. You have to acknowledge the handoff.
Caller or Guest
Yes, you do. But at the same time, you know as well as I do that accidents do happen. And some of the guys you catch Yourself dozing off because the day is so long.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
And I think the pro that was the problem with this story in Minneapolis is because they were out of radio contact for so long. So that's why the FAA is investigating if they were, if everybody was asleep. Because I guess like you were saying about being, you know, on radio frequency with the towers at all times, I think it was an hour that they were out of contact. I believe so. I think that's what caused concern and got their, you know, got everybody's attention.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So Joe, you're interested, let me throw
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
another scenario at you here. Sometimes the controllers mess up and they forget to call us and hand us off. And then we get out, out of their radio frequency range because, you know, we can only transmit so far. And then we start scrambling going, hey, we haven't talked to somebody in a while, you need to make. Then we start querying atc or we have communication devices in the aircraft where we can send a kind of a text message to our dispatcher and say, hey, we need to find out what frequently frequency we're supposed to be on. And then they'll send that information back to us via another text message.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So Joe, when you called up this morning, you just wanted everybody to know, don't freak out.
Caller or Guest
I mean, exactly.
Caller or Guest (Pilot)
There's always extenuating circumstances. Just like the guys who landed on the taxiway in Atlanta on Monday morning from Rio de Janeiro. They had a medical emergency on board. I can easily see what happened. Those guys were cleared for a visual approach to the left Runway and then the tower said sidestep to the right at six o' clock in the morning. You know, they're probably under a lot of stress knowing that one of their own is the one that is sick. One of the captains that was on board the aircraft was one of the, was the person that was having the emergency. So they were, you know, have probably had another relief pilot. When you've got a 10 hour flight, you got to have at least three crew members on board because any one person can only be at the controls at eight hours at a time.
Host (likely 'Birch')
I think it's implied too. If you're a pilot coming back from Rio de Janeiro, it's okay to doze off a couple times. Vegas also way moist. Crucial.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Y' all stop.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Listen, it's the vert show,
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
get it?
Host (likely 'Birch')
The bird show. All right, Here is a different Anna here and she does not need to be on the voice disguiser. But I think Melissa made the point that we get calls like this every single year. These Gender crossing sort of costume.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
Yeah. And I'm assuming the child is young, but usually a lot of times a young kid will take, you know, there'll be a movie or TV show or some character that they love. And a little boy and little girl aren't thinking about the fact that they love a little boy or little girl character. They just love what they love. And so for Halloween they want to dress up like their favorite characters. And it seems that every year we take a call from a mother of a husband who is upset that their son wants to dress up like a girl for Halloween.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good morning, Anna.
Caller or Guest
Hi, how are you?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Good, how are you?
Caller or Guest
I'm okay.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What's going on? You sound so beat down already.
Caller or Guest
I'm sorry, Yeah, I just, I have a five year old boy and he loves Hannah Montana, loves Miley Cyrus, as most kids do, and he wants to dress up as her for Halloween. And I feel like, you know, he's five, like he should be able to do whatever he wants and dress who he wants to dress. I mean, he really, really, really wants to. And he's told me for a very long time that's who he wants to be for Halloween. And my husband, who is a very manly man, a guy's guy, does not want to him to do it at all, is freaking out about it and says, absolutely not.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
And Bert, you said that once kids get this idea in their head, whatever it is, they are like stuck on
Host (likely 'Birch')
it, pretty much locked and loaded.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
This ain't.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Do you remember this happened with Hayden a couple of years ago too? I forgot what character he wanted to dress up in, but it was a feminine character.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Was it like Dora or something?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
It might have been, but didn't that cure itself? Like did you present him with two options and he chose the other one or something?
Host (likely 'Birch')
No, he turned around when, I mean, inevitably I was like your husband, you know, I was all self conscious about it all. So I'm like, my stomach son is going to dress up like Dora. Come on, really? But then as it got closer and closer, I just said, you know, he's your son or it's your daughter and you got to do what you got to do. If that's what they want to do, then even though in your own heart you may be embarrassed, you got to walk door to door and knock on every door and not show your face that night is what you got to do. And I told him, you know what, I'm going to do it. Let's do this, man. If that's what you want to do. Then we're going to knock on the door to door, you be door and I'm right there next to you. And he changed his mind like that. That was that.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Then he went, you said it was cool.
Host (likely 'Birch')
He went with something else.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
You think he was trying to rebel?
Host (likely 'Birch')
I don't know. I guess maybe that's a five year old's way of rebelling. I don't know.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Maybe.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Yeah.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Hollis is bringing nunchucks to school and Hayden's gonna dress like a woman. But each have their way.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So I don't know where to go with this, Anna. I mean, is he that is your husband that against it? Like there will absolutely be no Hannah Montana costume.
Caller or Guest
Oh yeah. And he didn't say this to him, he said it to me. So I'm the one who's supposed to tell him absolutely not. Even though for the past, I don't even know how long he's been saying, I want to be that for Halloween, Mommy. I want to be that for Halloween. And you know, I'm the one who's going door to door with him. My husband is in the military, so he's not. He's home every other weekend so he's actually not going to be in for Halloween. So I'm the one going door to door with him and I don't have a problem. But he is just absolutely not like it is not going to happen. And you have to tell him this cannot happen. And so I just feel awful, you know, I don't really know how to tell him.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Here's my theory on this kind of thing. And I don't know how you can tell your if this will help with your husband at all. You know, chances are pretty good your son is never going to remember his fifth birth or the fifth Halloween and he's never going to remember this Hannah Montana thing. But the way that I parent now is like I know they're not going to remember things, but I think they feel it in their soul, in their heart. So what I needed to tell Hayden that year really was no matter what you're all about, your old man is going to stand with you, you know, and I wanted that message to be clear to him in his soul if he remembered why the reason was or not. But that was his feeling towards his dad. That's the only advice I could really give you. You know, like this is, I'm not saying this is defining for your husband and your son, but I think if it's gonna lend to a definition, I would rather the message be doesn't matter who you are or what you're gonna be, I got your back.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Because I can only remember really one of my childhood Halloween costumes. And it was, it was Batman and it's because we were broke and I had to wear it three years in a row and those little plastic ones. By the third year I was like fat man in a little plastic suit. And I always had a problem too because I mean my head has always been this big. So the mask is like this.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
If you've never met face abnormally big.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
I would actually have the eye holes here. But I could look at things around the mask.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
It's not an eye. He's not exaggerating.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
In my neighborhood I was the whale shark of the six year old.
Co-host or Guest
Has your husband taken your son Halloween shots for a different costume or explored other options?
Caller or Guest
He really has not talked about anything else. I mean, I guess I could just take him and see like, well, what about this? Or what about this? But I just feel awful and I want him to wear what he wants to wear.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
So could your husband be the one that talks to him? I mean he is the dad and he is the one that has the problem with it.
Caller or Guest
I mean he told me to do it. He doesn't really want to. He doesn't really want to tell him no. He wants me to tell him no.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
That's smart parenting right there.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Is that like, I guess, yeah, you
Caller or Guest
want me to be the bad guy,
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
but does he lead the family like the military? Like he just gives out orders?
Caller or Guest
Pretty much. I mean, I mean I'm, you know, I'll obviously say no if I'm upset, but I mean he pretty much is just like, absolutely not. That's how it is. I mean he's very hard headed.
Host (likely 'Birch')
But discussion after, after I take this call here from Alex. Here's what I would like to do, Carl. Clear the lines. And I would like to, I would like to take calls from men that will can argue your husband's point. Like what would be the reason? I mean in your heart if this was happening in your house and your kid came to you and said he wanted to be Hannah Montana, you would also put your foot down. I just want to hear your reasoning and sort of speak for her husband because he's not on the phone.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Well, you won't get authentic though, because authentic is. If it were me, I would come up with a reason, but the real reason would be my own pride. Because I don't want to come to go to my other guy friends who might be trick or Treating with their boys or whatever and they're like oh, what you. Oh, my kid. Spider man. Oh, it's your kid. Oh, Wolverine. What's your kid? A what? You know, like you don't want.
Host (likely 'Birch')
So what would.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
So that would be that. I think that's the authentic reason it's a matter of pride for military dude
Host (likely 'Birch')
because man got little boys should be men.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Yeah.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And little girls should be.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Cuz he does girls because he wants to be able to show pictures to all of his, his friends who are obviously, you know, military manly or you know, show pictures to his friends and say look, this is what my kid is. And he doesn't want his kid being Miley Cyrus.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Hey, Alex.
Caller or Guest
Hey.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What's up?
Caller or Guest
Oh, nothing much. I just have a point to make. I actually grew up as a child, you know, loving the girl characters and dressing up as the opposite sex, you know, and that was just big interest for me when I was little because I mean I thought as a kid, you know, girls were more sensitive in a way. And I've always grown up with girls so I mean it's a crowd that I've definitely hung around more my entire life.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
We should just let this guy call the dad and explain to him why it's cool.
Caller or Guest
I mean, yeah, I mean because I mean I've grown up with other people, you know, that are very cute, closed minded and you know, I mean I think that you know that I mean Halloween is a holiday that people should just let go and have fun. You know, I mean they should like, like she said before, I mean you should get creative and if you don't, you're boring pretty much.
So well and I.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
But I mean let's just, let's be honest. He doesn't want a gay son. He doesn't want his son to cross dress and he, you know, he wants to teach his son right now that you're a man and you need to be a man and you can't be a girl. I mean that's, that's the, that's what he, that's what he's saying and it's
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
not even about gay is girly feminine.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
But I mean come on.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Yeah, that's the, that's what, that's extreme of it.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
But we're not saying it. But that's what end up. I don't want to. I don't want my son be gay. I don't want him to look gay.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
Would you have an issue if your daughter wanted to be Batman?
Host (likely 'Birch')
Are you asking me?
Caller or Guest
Yeah.
Host (likely 'Birch')
The guys I Think I mean an issue in how I would handle it are two different things. Again, I would if that's what she wanted to do. I'm gonna knock on the door and I'm gonna be right by her side.
Co-host or Guest
I think it's more accepted if girls dress up as guy characters than it is for a guy to dress up as a girl character.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
I don't think anybody would care.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Alright, let's applaud Joey here. The only guy calling up to be 100% authentic. Hey Joey.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Hey there. What's going on?
Host (likely 'Birch')
You agree with the dude on this thing?
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Man, I'm all the way. I got a nine year old boy and obviously we've been through a few Halloween together and if he come to me, oh, I would definitely tell him. Just I'd have a talk with him and do it respectful and, and just make sure he knows. And I have daughters and a son so I can comment both ways but they, I'm totally with him on this one.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Explain to us what you would say to your son. Put yourself in her debt, her husband's situation. What exactly are you going to say to your nine year old son?
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Well, I just talked to him and I'll be honest with you, I have had this conversation with him already. He's asked me, he has, you know, I'm all for everybody, you know, as far as people, you know, having their own beliefs and their own ways. I am, I do have Christian values in our home from what we believe. So I've talked to him about, he's seen some people, some men dressing like girls before and asked me and I talked to him in a respectful way to the people, you know, who were dressed that way to be respectful to them and to be respectful to him, you know, as a dad and to teach him as I think he should be raised and they have a certain belief.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What are the words you use to him?
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Well, I use, I just told him, I said they just, they're adults, they made a decision and you know, you'll have that decision to make as well. But I says they, they would like to dress as, as women and that's their belief. And they're right, we don't believe that you should dress that way. And I just told him, you know, I said boys dress as boys and girls dress as girls. And believe it or not, the conversation didn't have to go very far. He asked a couple of questions and that was it. And now when he sees something like that out there, he just says hey. He goes, you know, he says look at that guy over there. And I go, yeah, so, but don't point, don't say anything.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And what, what is your biggest reason why you wouldn't allow him to dress up as a girl?
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
Well, I mean, obviously, like, like, I guess another caller said before is I believe, or maybe you said, I believe boys should be boys and be masculine. And I like for girls to be, you know, girly and feminine. And I mean, you know, I mean, it's. I have daughters. I have two daughters and a son. And I just, I see it both ways. And I like the fact that, you know, I guess it can be kind of a double edged because I like the fact that my girls get down and dirty, but then, you know, on our farm and stuff and they enjoy just playing in the dirt and the mud and all, but then they clean up. And so some people could see as a double edged sword. Why can't your son, you know, get down and play? And he does play. I don't say anything to him for playing with his sisters with the dolls and all because I know he's just having a good time with his siblings. But if I thought that it was going further, I would be concerned as a parent.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Is this about being feminine or is this about being gay?
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
I think it's just, I think, I'm gonna be honest with you. I think it's short term feminine being, you know, being feminine. But I think long term, I would be concerned about him becoming homosexual. Not that I have anything against people who make choice in life. I don't. I mean, I just. For my son, I would, you know, want him to carry on the, you know, the head relationship as I would for my daughters. But again, I'm not condemning anybody for their decision in life. I'm not that way. I'm not fascist or racist or anything. You know what I mean? My belief as a dad that I, you know, I want to raise my children this way and our personal faith system, you know what I mean? Does that make sense? I don't want to offend anybody, but
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
I respect your opinion. I think that, you know, I think that when you. Christian values in your home. I think that we have Christian values in our home too. I just so. I don't want to just think that all Christians are straight, but I do want to say that I think that I see what, you know, you at least try to respectfully tell your son not to make fun of people who do that. And I appreciate the effort. I guess, you know, my sensitivity and my concern is always with this issue, and I'm not pointing this directly at you necessarily, it's just making sure that somehow, you know, the message that comes across is better than or lesser than. You know, I'm always concerned at this subliminal message being given to young boys that, you know, be a man, because those who aren't being a man are lesser than you, you know, and so, you know, I think that when Bert was, you know, expressing his concern, I get the concern. I mean, I was raised like everybody else. I was raised in a small town. I get the concern. So I'm, you know, insensitive to what you're feeling, I guess my. It's just the long term effects of the message that you send, I think, is what. What bothers me the most with this issue.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
You know, we don't want to make him hate anybody or make him turn his head against anybody ever in future. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't. I don't want that. So. You're right. It's kind of a. With being a parent, it's just kind of a. I don't think it's just these days. I think it's always been.
Caller or Guest
It's just.
Caller or Guest (possibly 'Joey')
I just want to. I want to give him the message that we have. But I think you're right. I don't want to come across as a. The ogre who says, hey, you don't ever fool with these people. Don't ever talk to people or, you
Host (likely 'Birch')
know, Joey, man, thank you. What's that, Melissa?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
No, I said he didn't come across that way.
Host (likely 'Birch')
What were you gonna say, Joe?
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
That's what America's all about.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
I thought in somewhere when he was talking, he said, you know, if somebody grows up and they want to make that choice, that's up to them, but that isn't gonna be right for their family. So I think he's. He views homosexuality as a choice.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Jeff')
Mm.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Melissa')
A lot of people do.
Caller or Guest
Mm.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Hey, Ann, I'd love to talk to you on Monday morning if you have the time to find out how you worked it out with your husband and how you worked it it out with your kid. Is there any chance at all that you'll just say, let him do what he wants?
Caller or Guest
I mean, yeah, definitely a chance, because that's kind of how I feel. I kind of want him to do what he wants to do, so.
Host (likely 'Birch')
And your husband, you said is out of town this weekend.
Caller or Guest
Yeah, he's out of town. He's not gonna be here, so it's gonna be me who's walking door to door, so.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Okay. And Halloween's not till next weekend, right? Okay.
Caller or Guest
Thanks.
Host (likely 'Birch')
Bye.
Co-host or Guest (possibly 'Bert')
In the usa, the Birch Show.
Date: May 6, 2026
Main Theme:
An energetic, candid, and laugh-filled morning radio episode where The Bert Show team (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & cast) dive into embarrassing celebrity encounters, sleep mishaps including while on the job, and a thoughtful debate on Halloween costume choices and parenting around gender norms. Real listener calls drive the show’s unique blend of humor, empathy, and occasional deep dives into societal norms.
Call for Stories: Listeners are asked to call in with stories about “choking” in front of celebrities after a caller recounts vomiting on Jon Bon Jovi’s shoes.
Listener Call – Renee Zellweger (02:28):
Listener Call – Lady Gaga (03:25):
Listener Call – Anthony Kiedis (04:59):
Host & Panel Anecdotes:
Joanna’s Mission:
Tips from Listeners:
Real-Life Confessions:
Panel Banter:
Anonymous Pilots Call In:
Realism and Reassurance:
Listener Dilemma – Anna’s Story (34:08):
Panel Discussion:
Resolution Pending:
Highly conversational, filled with quick wit, self-effacing jokes, and a touch of Southern charm. The hosts encourage real, sometimes raw listener calls, fostering honest dialogue even about occasionally taboo topics—always with humor and a sense of community.
For those who missed the episode:
Expect hilarious misadventures with celebrities, surprisingly candid calls about sleep and sex, a revealing look behind the flight deck doors, and a thoughtful real-parenting moment around gender and family values—all in the signature, “real and funny” Bert Show style.