The Bert Show – Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, November 26 [Vault]

Episode Date: November 26, 2025
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show Cast
Main Theme:
The Bert Show tackles a classic morning-radio, real-life dilemma: listener drama! Today’s story is about “Melody” and her growing suspicions after finding an unexpected haul of Christmas presents at her boyfriend’s house—a situation which quickly spins into a roommate-level game of trust, snooping, and whether honesty is the best policy when you might miss out on a free tropical vacation.

1. Episode Overview

This episode dives into a comedic and relatable relationship drama: Melody, a broke, recently graduated waitress, discovers not just her gifts but a suspiciously duplicated set of gifts at her boyfriend's place—including two tennis bracelets, two sets of pajamas (different sizes), and two certificates for trips to St. Thomas, one for New Year's and one for Valentine's Day.
The Bert Show crew unpacks Melody’s suspicions, offers theories, and fields impassioned calls from listeners. Lively debate swirls around trust, snooping, confronting the truth, and whether it's ever OK to stick around for the perks before ending a relationship.

2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

Melody’s Dilemma: The Setup

[01:00 – 05:23]

• Melody and her boyfriend have been together for two years, living in Atlanta. Due to work, he spends weekdays in Orlando, maintaining an apartment there.
• Both are financially strapped and agree on a “three-gift rule” for Christmas this year (“We would limit ourselves to getting each other three gifts… because we’re both, like, kind of strapped.” – Melody, [02:27])
• Melody snoops to get a sense of what price point to aim for and finds six gifts:
  • Two tennis bracelets
  • Two pairs of pajamas (sizes small & medium)
  • Two custom vacation certificates (New Year's and Valentine's)

The Bert Show Cast’s Theories

[05:23 – 12:12]

• The mystery: Who are the duplicates for? Is Melody being cheated on, or is her boyfriend just extraordinarily cautious/thoughtful?
• Explanations offered by the cast:
  • Multiple sizes “just in case”: “He could have bought two of everything... Maybe one gold and one white gold. Two different sizes, whatever. Then he can drop the hints…” – Cast, [09:08]
  • Gift return theories: Maybe the pajamas/bracelets are backup sizes in case one doesn’t fit.
  • Vacation flexibility: Maybe he got two options on the trip, to match Melody’s schedule or surprise her.
• Skepticism: The women on the show are suspicious; practical “just in case” shopping isn’t behavior they commonly attribute to men.

Melody’s Homework: Dig for Clues

[14:56 – 16:58]

• Melody is tasked with calling Delta, American, and AirTran to see if her name is on any itineraries for the possible St. Thomas trips. After much sleuthing, she turns up nothing.
• “I called Delta, called American, called AirTran… Some actually did agree to look for my boyfriend’s name and turned up absolutely nothing. Nothing around Valentine's, nothing around New Year’s, nothing.” – Melody, [16:02]

Listener & Host Opinions on Melody’s Choices

[18:53 – 28:14]

• The hosts debate whether Melody’s boyfriend could have just bought “package” vacations online and not yet provided names for airline tickets, or if that seems like a stretch.
• Emphasis on Communication:
  • “All that sneaking around stuff, it just takes too much time.… Just be honest and say, ‘I found these gifts. What the hell is going on with it?’” – Listener James, [19:35]
  • However, hosts joke that pressing for the truth might spoil the surprise and the vacation.
• Prioritizing Perks?
  • Melody admits, "If the New Year's trip is for me, I'm going to wait to break up with him until after the trip. I'm going to try and convince him on the trip to break up with her." ([07:07])
  • The hosts tease: would you rather be dumped in the arctic chill or on a Caribbean beach?
• “The Confrontation” Advice:
  • Should Melody address it directly, or wait and see which trip (if any) is actually for her?
  • Advice includes manipulating the schedule (“Tell him you were asked to work New Year’s Eve, unless you two already have plans…,” [21:45])

Listener Call-in: "Kimberly" Unleashed

[23:21 – 26:47]

• Legendary call-in from listener Kimberly, who berates both Melody and the show for “silliness.”
  • “This woman is so silly. And you all are silly for listening to her babble like an idiot about this guy… If you've got to do that, confirm where you stand then. You don't stand where you think you do in the first place.” – Kimberly, [23:21]
  • Kimberly lambasts Melody: “You need to grow up. Buy your own bracelet. Buy your own vacation. Grow up. You are an embarrassment to women…” ([24:02])
• The cast counters: maybe it’s not about trust, but about squeezing out one last trip before confronting the likely affair.

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If the New Year's trip is for me, I'm going to wait to break up with him until after the trip.” – Melody, [07:07]
• “He wouldn't buy me the same pajamas in two different sizes, assuming that I'm going to gain that much weight over the holidays. That would just be kind of poor form.” – Melody, [06:00]
• “Guys don't return stuff. I hope that's the case.” – (Show member, debating if the double-gift theory is plausible), [09:42]
• “All that sneaking around stuff, that just takes too much time. You can either do it the easy way, the nice way, or you can do it the evil way.... Or just be honest and say, I found these gifts. What the hell is going on with it?” – James, listener, [19:35]
• “This woman is so silly. And you all are silly for listening to her babble like an idiot about this guy.” – Kimberly, listener, [23:21]
• “I'm gonna be heartbroken when the Arctic freeze blows in Atlanta. Or I'm gonna be heartbroken on a beach where the water is as clear as vodka. So I'm gonna go with the beach.” – Bert Show cast, [20:53]

4. Key Segments & Timestamps

• [01:00]: Melody's call-in and set up: How she found the extra gifts
• [03:37]: Explanation of the financial situation & the three-gift rule
• [04:54]: Description of the duplicate gifts (bracelets, pajamas, trips)
• [07:07]: Melody's plan: stick around for the vacation if it’s for her
• [09:08]: Alternate theory: boyfriend bought doubles to cover his bases
• [14:56]: Melody’s "investigation" with the airlines
• [19:35]: Listener call for radical honesty (James)
• [23:21]: Legendary rant from listener Kimberly
• [26:47]: Aftermath & show’s debate: Should Melody confront or wait and see?

5. Takeaways

• The Dilemma: When faced with suspicious “evidence” in a relationship, do you confront head on, keep digging for evidence, or—if tempting perks are involved—simply ride it out and maximize the benefit before deciding?
• Communication vs. Curiosity: The show juggles the tension between healthy communication and the all-too-human urge to snoop.
• Listener Involvement: Passionate listeners like Kimberly make for high drama and laughter, showcasing The Bert Show’s engaging style.
• Show Tone: The conversation stays light, funny, at times sincere, with the cast and listeners swinging between advice, teasing, and some savage truth-telling.

6. Summary

Today's Bert Show is a quintessential mix of relatable relationship drama, comic relief, and listener participation. The mystery of Melody’s double-gifting boyfriend is left unresolved, with theories ranging from innocent shopping strategy to full-blown cheating. The crew’s advice covers everything from plot twists worthy of CSI to direct honesty, while listeners like Kimberly add a spicy, judgmental flavor. From the challenges of modern dating to the ethics of snooping and the temptation of Caribbean escapism, the show serves its usual blend of real talk and radio hilarity.

For listeners:
If you love real-life drama, brutal honesty, and a side of holiday chaos, this episode is pure Bert Show gold.