Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, October 29 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show (Vault): Full Show PT 1, October 29, 2025

Overview

In this morning’s episode of The Bert Show, the cast delivers their signature blend of real talk, laughter, and listener-driven drama. With Bert, Melissa, Lindsey, and more at the helm, the show explores relationship mysteries, sits down with music stars and TV personalities, and injects fun with real-life experiments and feel-good moments. Memorable segments include a dramatic second date update with a surprise twist, an uplifting interview with Destiny’s Child members Michelle and Kelly, a lighthearted chat with Steve and Terri Irwin, and a heartwarming "War of the Roses" that ends in reconciliation.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Second Date Update: A Twist of Deception and Closure

[01:29 – 11:23]

• Premise: Listener Anna calls in about a promising first date with Mark, who has disappeared after their night together.
• Recounting the Date: Anna describes a romantic evening: dinner at The Harvest, a night out at a band performance, and eventually, intimacy. Mark left an enthusiastic voicemail the next evening, but then stopped communicating.
• Confrontation On-Air: The show calls Mark live for answers.
• Shocking Reveal: Mark discloses Anna is married—a fact he discovered from a friend after their date, which explains his silence.
• Tense Exchange:
  • Anna [07:54]: “Well, yeah.” (upon being asked if she’s married.)
  • Bert [10:25]: “How about when you promised to love him monogamously…? Wasn’t that a promise? You just broke a promise. Hello?”
• Hosts' Reactions: The cast holds Anna accountable for her choices, questioning the ethics of her actions.

2. Interview: Michelle and Kelly from Destiny’s Child

[11:24 – 18:09]

• Living Authentically: Michelle reflects on the importance of gratitude and letting go of past hurts.
  • Michelle [13:28]: “You have to learn to forgive people, because God has blessed you with so many other things in your life that you can’t just focus on one thing so it can hold you back.”
• Group Dynamics: Discussion about solo projects within the group and how they support each other’s talents.
  • Michelle [16:42]: “We’re just blessed that all three of us, you know, have strong talents and personalities, and we’re secure. That’s the main thing.”
• Musical Moment: The hosts persuade the group to sing a snippet of "I’m a Survivor," boosting spirits on-air.
• Atlanta Roots: Kelly shares memories of growing up in Atlanta before moving to Texas and joining the group.
• Self-Reflection and Growth: Melissa opens up about reevaluating her own life, with Michelle offering encouragement.

3. Experiment: Testing Tollbooth Operator Honesty

[20:48 – 22:40]

• Premise: The cast wonders about the honesty of tollbooth operators and sends Mark to test if prepaying for cars behind him works.
• Outcome: The tollbooth operator accepts Mark's prepayment for 19 cars, validating the idea of “paying it forward” at tolls. Tammy, another host, confirms the process from behind in line.

4. Interview: Steve & Terri Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter)

[22:41 – 28:53]

• World Tour: The Irwins describe their U.S. travel adventures and their custom crocodile-themed jet.
• Origins & Relationship: The couple shares their origin story—Terri as a tourist captivated by Steve’s crocodile demonstration (and his “nice legs”).
  • Terri [24:50]: “He’s nice to the female crocodile, sometimes for hours… I appreciated this guy immediately.”
• Behind the Scenes: Terri and Steve discuss the real dangers behind filming with wild animals and compare scars with the hosts.
• Marriage Secrets: Steve jokes their marriage works because Terri still can’t understand his accent, leading to laughs.

5. War of the Roses: Unexpected Family Reunion

[28:54 – 36:26]

• Situation: Trisha wants to find out if her separated husband Brett still loves her—her son reports Brett said he’d marry her again if he could.
• Call Results: Brett, when asked who the roses should go to, chooses Trisha, signing as “your secret admirer”—a nod to their dating days.
• Twist: Both parents had been told by their son that the other parent wanted to reconcile. The boy orchestrated the setup, revealing he perceived their mutual desire long before they admitted it.
  • Brett [33:39]: “Honey, do you know what Brian did? …He told me that you said the same thing.”
• Reunion: Brett promises to visit Trisha and their son, with the show sponsoring a celebratory dinner for the family.
• Host Commentary: The cast is moved by the son’s insight and the reunited couple’s love.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Anna’s Denial and Defensiveness

  • [07:54] Anna admits to being married, but is casual: “Well, yeah.”
  • [08:37] Anna: “He does. This is the deal. He has no time for me whatsoever. No time at all. He’s either at work or on the computer.”

• Sharp Host Reactions

  • [10:25] Bert calls out Anna’s double standards regarding promises.
  • [10:49] Mark on Anna: “She’s just treating this as like it’s just another way she spends her Saturday night. It’s sad. It’s disrespectful. It’s sad.”

• Destiny’s Child on Forgiveness & Growth

  • [13:48] Michelle: “If you don’t let them go, then you become evil and bitter… you have to really forgive people, and if you don’t forgive that person for real, you will still be bitter…”
  • [16:42] Michelle: “We’re secure… That’s the main thing.”

• Destiny’s Child & Bert: "I’m a Survivor" Sing-Along

  • [15:01] Michelle: “I’m a survivor.”
  • [15:03] Melissa: “I’m a survivor.”
  • Laughter and music break the tension from the earlier segment.

• Steve & Terri Irwin: Relationship & Adventure

  • [24:18] Terri: “I am a woman and said, g’day. And we just clicked, man. It was so romantic. It was just destiny.”
  • [26:00] Steve: “We’ve been married nearly 10 years now. … The secret to our success is she still doesn’t understand what I’m saying.”

• War of the Roses: Surprise Reconcilation

  • [33:39] Brett: “You know what Brian did? …He told me that you said the same thing.”
  • [34:46] Brett: “Honey, I’m gonna take off work early today… I’m gonna come up and see you.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Second Date Update: [01:29 – 11:23]
• Destiny’s Child Interview: [11:24 – 18:09]
• Tollbooth Honesty Test: [20:48 – 22:40]
• Steve & Terri Irwin Interview: [22:41 – 28:53]
• War of the Roses: Family Reunion: [28:54 – 36:26]

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Final Thoughts

• This episode is a rollercoaster of emotions, moving from shocking relationship drama to heartwarming family reconciliation.
• The Destiny’s Child segment brings uplifting energy and genuine reflections on forgiveness, while Steve and Terri Irwin add charm and adventure.
• The show’s strength lies in its authenticity, relatability, and ability to deliver both humor and real talk—making even the hardest moments feel approachable.

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Transcript

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[Melissa]

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[Hannah Burner]

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[Melissa]

The Burch show we have all been here before. You have a great first date, you spend six or seven hours on it and you're just waiting for the second date, waiting for the phone to ring so you can set up that second date and it just doesn't happen. Well, when that happens to one of the Burch show listeners, what they do is they call us up and we call the guy on the air and ask them why there's been no second date. We call that second date update. Anna, give me your circumstance. What happened?

[Anna]

I went to a Braves game. So I'm looking around and I finally start talking to this guy named Mark and you know he's pretty hot looking and he seems like a really nice guy. And we talked for quite a while and he gave me his phone number. So, you know, I waited a few days and I guess about a week later I just called him up to say hi. And, you know, we talked for quite some time. And at that point he went again. You know, he went and, and asked me out.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Anna]

So about a week ago Saturday is when we finally decided to go out.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Anna]

And you know.

[Michelle]

The Harvest.

[Melissa]

Yeah, of course. Really nice restaurant. Really nice. He went all out for a first date.

[Michelle]

Oh, gosh.

[Anna]

Yeah, well, that's where he took me. So, you know, I was pretty impressed. And actually when he showed up to pick me up, he had a flower in his hand. Actually it was a yellow rose. It was really pretty.

[Melissa]

Very nice. This is a nice first date right here.

[Anna]

Well, that's what I'm thinking. So, you know, we go to the harvest and we have this great dinner, you know, very, very romantic dinner. Obviously the ambiance there is great. The food is wonderful. And you know, we were talking. I felt like we were really clicking. And in fact he had made comments to that effect. And then he was telling me that he had this friend that was playing over in the band that was playing that night at Smith's Bar. Okay, so we're going over to Smith's and we're listening to the band. And later on, his friend, it was the band member said, oh, you know, everybody's going to go over to my house. So we decided to go over to his house and some of the other band members were there and some girls they knew and that kind of thing.

[Lindsey]

Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?

[Anna]

No, it was a little bit more than that.

[Bert]

You slept with him, didn't you?

[Melissa]

That'll speak volumes. That'll speak volumes for why he hasn't called back.

[Anna]

Well, so, you know, I get home at like 6 in the morning, so, you know, about 6 o' clock that night, he leaves me a message on my cell phone and, you know, it's a great message. You know, Anna just had a great time. Just wanted you to know that, you know, I'm really glad I met you and definitely we need to do this again. The next day after he left me the message, I went ahead and called him, you know, to acknowledge his call, thank him for the message and, you know, just to kind of chat for a few minutes. And that's actually what we did. And you know, as far as I knew, everything was cool. He was talking about us going out again, you know, he said, you know, I'll call you tomorrow and you know, we'll work on a time when we can get our schedules worked out.

[Melissa]

And tomorrow never came?

[Michelle]

No.

[Anna]

So, you know, the other day I was running some errands and I ran into the guy from the party, the one that was in the band.

[Melissa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anna]

And I said, you know, hey, have you seen Mark? And he says, yeah, I've seen him. And he, you know, acted a little funny and I said, well, you know, I haven't heard from him. And he was talking about us going out again and you know, I just kind of wondered what was up, you know, I just hadn't seen or heard from him. And so, just kind of wondering what the deal was. And he said, so Mark hasn't called you? And I said, no. And I said, do you know why not? And he goes, you know why?

[Lindsey]

Do you know why?

[Anna]

Well, I don't think so.

[Melissa]

All right, let me get him on the phone now.

[Kelly]

Hey Mark.

[Melissa]

Yes, hi, this is Bert and Lindsey and Melissa and crash calling from Q100.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Melissa]

And we're on the air right now as Tracy's told you.

[Mark]

Uh huh.

[Melissa]

And we have Anna on the phone with us also. Remember Anna from a couple weeks ago, the baseball game?

[Mark]

Ah, Anna, Anna, Anna, good old Anna.

[Melissa]

Anna from the baseball game. And how could I forget Anna and Smith.

[Lindsey]

What's that?

[Melissa]

Anna, you want to say hi?

[Anna]

Hey, Mark.

[Mark]

Hi, Anna, how you doing?

[Anna]

I'm good. I was wondering how you were.

[Mark]

Oh, I'm fine. I'm doing just fine. You don't have to worry about me.

[Anna]

Okay, well, I just hadn't heard from you, so I just, you know, didn't know if you were sick or what.

[Mark]

No, no, I'm not sick. Anna. Anna, I'm fine. I think you should know why I haven't called you.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's actually why we're calling you. Cause Anna was a little curious on why you haven't called her and she ran into one of your friends and he said, you know why she hasn't called and she really doesn't have any clue, right?

[Mark]

What? The guy didn't say anything. He was being a gentleman and not calling you on anything. You want to hash this out over the air? On the air?

[Anna]

Well, I mean, yeah.

[Michelle]

Okay, be nice, Mark.

[Melissa]

Even if it's mean, be nice.

[Mark]

Okay. I just, I can't believe that you want to do this on the air over the radio.

[Anna]

Why not? It's as good a place to as.

[Michelle]

As any, I guess.

[Melissa]

Because she can't get a call back from me anyway?

[Mark]

Well, I, yeah, I, I'll be honest. I haven't, I haven't returned to calls, I haven't emails, nothing. I haven't, I, I, I haven't wanted to talk to you.

[Lindsey]

Mark, she's just looking for closure.

[Mark]

Oh, she's, that's sweet. Okay. Are, are you sure, Anna?

[Anna]

Well, I, I just think when a guy says they're going to call, you should. And, you know, or they need to have a pretty darn good reason why they haven't.

[Mark]

Right. So you're under the impression that if someone makes a promise, they should, if they say they're going to do something, that they should uphold that right?

[Michelle]

I think so.

[Melissa]

Okay, this is a big setup here, man. Something ugly's coming.

[Mark]

That, that's completely valid, Anna. So, okay, fine. If this is the way you want to do it, go ahead.

[Melissa]

Mark.

[Mark]

One pretty simple reason why I haven't called you back or. Well, I don't want anything to do with you. Anna, you're married.

[Melissa]

Well, well, Anna, are you married?

[Lindsey]

Anna, are you married?

[Anna]

Well, yeah.

[Michelle]

Oh, Anna. Oops. Yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, that's right.

[Bert]

Who let the dog down Now, Are.

[Melissa]

You separated or something?

[Anna]

No, but it's not really.

[Bert]

Oh, Anna, there was.

[Lindsey]

That's not fair to do to Mark. That's not fair to do to your husband.

[Anna]

What? You, you think I mean, my husband.

[Melissa]

Why would you call a radio station.

[Mark]

Put yourself under this kind of micro.

[Melissa]

I don't understand.

[Mark]

Why would you do it in the first place? And why is this the venue where you want to work it out?

[Anna]

Well, you know, I really doubt that my husband's listening anyway.

[Bert]

That's not the point.

[Mark]

That makes it okay.

[Anna]

Well, I mean, he does. This is the deal. He has no time for me whatsoever. No time at all. He's either at work or on the computer.

[Mark]

When you. Anna, I mean, have some respect for your child. If you have a son, you don't go out till six in the morning. You don't go to a party and go to a bar until six in the morning. If you have a child, we have a sitter.

[Anna]

And then my husband knows that sometimes I'm out with the girls and such and so after the sitter leaves, he takes, he takes care of my son.

[Melissa]

Mark, how did you find out about her husband?

[Mark]

Well, as it turns out, when we were at, we went to, you know.

[Melissa]

She said you went to.

[Mark]

We had a big long night. We went to a party and one of the guys at the party knew her husband and had The. You know, he was a gentleman. He had the discretion to not say anything at the time. But it eventually got back to me that, yeah, this is. This is. This guy's. This guy's wife.

[Lindsey]

Anna. Have you done this before?

[Bert]

I think she has.

[Melissa]

This can't be the first time. This can't be the first.

[Anna]

I mean, you guys don't know that.

[Melissa]

Yeah, this can't be the first time. This isn't the first time, is it? Come on, now. Be honest.

[Anna]

I don't really feel the need to discuss that.

[Melissa]

That means yes, she's done it before.

[Bert]

And this just didn't just pop up. I mean, the reason that she's calling you going, I think a guy makes a promise, you call me back. That's almost just like. She just wants you as a teddy bear. I mean, who cares that your husband isn't taking care of you and spending time with you? You just want to latch onto somebody as a security blanket. And you're married.

[Melissa]

Do you see the hypocrisy here that you feel, Anna, disrespected because he hasn't called you back? Do you think he may feel a little bit of that way also?

[Anna]

Well, I just think that, you know, guys do it, so.

[Melissa]

Oh, God.

[Bert]

Wait, wait, wait. Let me just say one thing, Anna. You said when a guy makes a promise, he should call you back. How about when you promised to love him monogamously? When you were under God exchanging rings and vows? Wasn't that a promise? You just broke a promise. Hello?

[Anna]

I did mean that then.

[Bert]

Yeah, you meant it then, but not now. Goodbye.

[Lindsey]

And maybe Mark meant it then, before he found out that you had a husband.

[Mark]

You know, she's just treating this as like it's just another way she spends her Saturday night. It's just. It's sad. It's disrespectful. It's sad.

[Anna]

Have you know, to have a life, too. And since my husband doesn't want to be a part of my life, then maybe somebody else does.

[Mark]

God, do I have to stay here and listen to that?

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Lindsey]

Thank you.

[Mark]

I'll let her live with this now.

[Melissa]

All right, Go ahead. See you, Mark.

[Mark]

All right, thanks.

[Melissa]

All right, Anna, we're gonna let you go. You, like, set us up. I mean, you did. You totally set us up, because you didn't. You didn't mention that in the. There she Goes, too.

[Bert]

The Burt Show.

[Melissa]

Months ago, the big rumor was that Beyonce was leaving Destiny's Child to go do her own thing. So once again, if you want answers, you Go right to the source. Here's Destiny's Child on the Burt Show.

[Michelle]

Hi, Burt.

[Melissa]

Hey, Michelle.

[Michelle]

What's going on?

[Melissa]

You know what? We started getting into this deep conversation about 15 minutes ago about living your life the way you really want to live your life. Michelle, let me ask you this question. When you put your head on the pillow last night to go to sleep, were you completely content with the day you just had? Are you living the life the way that you want to?

[Michelle]

Yes. I was actually thankful, and I prayed this prayer. You know, I was just truly thankful. You know, we had a book that came out. Our album came out, and it's just not that, you know, the book and the album came out, but it's just that I had, you know, the activities of all my limbs. I was in my right mind. I wasn't in a hospital somewhere. I mean, I do that every single night. Because, you know, we tend to take life for granted, you know, and life. And life can be taken away from you.

[Melissa]

I mean, we witnessed that, especially with your schedule, too. I'd imagine that you're completely consumed. People are pushing you and pulling you in different directions. Oh, yeah, but you say that that's okay with you during the given day, there's nothing else you'd rather be doing?

[Michelle]

I mean, you know, every now and then, we, you know, it's Kelly. She's. She's here on the line as well.

[Kelly]

He.

[Melissa]

Kelly.

[Michelle]

We would, you know, we like to sleep sometimes. You know, we like to just hang out at Date and Busters right quick. You know, I like to just sit down all day and eat pancakes. Right now. They're in the other room, though. I see them, though. She got them in her hand.

[Melissa]

Well, most people would look at your life. Hey, Kelly. Most people would look at your life and they would say, I mean, it's the perfect, perfect life. So what's the one thing in your life that you would change?

[Michelle]

I wouldn't change anything. I definitely wouldn't change anything, because everything that I've gone through has made me strong. I think that's with anyone's life.

[Melissa]

What was the thing that you had the toughest time letting go? You know how you say you learn from a lot of the stuff that happened in your past? What's, like, the one thing that you just had a really tough time letting go?

[Michelle]

That's a really hard one. Like, I don't. I really don't know. Like, I guess the fact that my father wasn't really in my life and that he didn't help My mom. I was really mad at him for that. But you have to learn to forgive people, because God has blessed you with so many other things in your life that you can't just focus on one thing so it can hold you back. You know what I'm saying?

[Melissa]

Sure. How about you, Michelle?

[Michelle]

Well, I guess let go and forget or just accept that, you know, things happen and you are the way you are, so, you know, just, you know, be happy about that. And then I guess let go of some of the hurts, you know? You know, that I've had, because if you don't let them go, then you become evil and bitter. You know, I'm saying. And you have to really forgive people, and if you don't forgive that person for real, you will still be bitter, and you will still resent that person. You know, so we have to forgive others and love others as God wants us to love. And that's weird that you're talking about all of that, because we talked about all of it in our book, Soul Survivors, our official autobiography, or the official autobiography of Destiny's Child. Like, Beyonce talks about some things that happened in her life.

[Bert]

I think what would really help Burt at this time get over this lump in his life is if there was a way that the three of you, Kelly and Michelle and Burt, and could all just sing I'm a Survivor just for a few seconds.

[Michelle]

Come on, Burt. You started off Bert all about you now.

[Bert]

All right, give him a little bit so he can get the right key.

[Melissa]

If this will help. Okay, go ahead. Give me the right key.

[Michelle]

I'm a survivor.

[Melissa]

I'm a survivor.

[Michelle]

I'm life first.

[Melissa]

I feel so much better. I do. It worked. Everything in my life is great.

[Michelle]

I hope that whatever you're going through in your life right now that you can just.

[Melissa]

Oh, my life is great. It really is. I'm just kind of looking at it going, you know, what? Is this really what I want to be doing? And I'm just kind of prioritizing things going on in my life.

[Michelle]

Well, shoot, sometimes. I mean, that comes with growth, though. Like, sometimes we just sit back and be like. Right. Like, some things you just want to, like, reconstruct in your life. But, hey, you doing it, bro.

[Bert]

Don't let Bert kid you. His biggest problem is an unusually flatulent dog. Other than that, everything is fine in his world.

[Melissa]

Hey, Kelly, you're from here in Atlanta, right?

[Michelle]

Yes, I am. Born. Born in Atlanta.

[Melissa]

You remember anything about it? When did you take off?

[Michelle]

I remember growing up in Decatur, Georgia, and my mom Had a job because she worked as a nanny over on the north side, I think it is. Yeah, on the north side. Like, where all those pretty, pretty houses are. Although it's beautiful houses all over Atlanta, but is a really nice, like, secluded neighborhood or whatever. And I remember us moving and moving to Texas and meeting the group and having so much fun, and my life has been wonderful ever since.

[Melissa]

And you can read all about this in their book. We're talking to Michelle, Michelle and Kelly from Destiny's Child. Hey, you guys, let's. Let's talk about some of these solo projects you got coming out, because people are saying that this is going to be the beginning of the end. Once one goes out and does a project, then the other one goes out, then there are all sorts of jealousies. And, Michelle, you were kind of the first one to say, you know what? I'd like to do something by myself.

[Michelle]

You know, we've talked about doing these solo projects for the last two years. You know, I mean, we're just blessed that all three of us, you know, have strong talents and personalities, and we're secure. Right, Right. That's the main thing. Beyonce and Kelly support me. I support them on everything they're doing. We got nothing but love for each other because we just trying to do it, and we trying to make it. We want to be large, you know, And I think that these solo projects will definitely help us grow.

[Melissa]

All right, the name of the book is Soul Survivors, the Official Autobiography of Destiny's Child. Michelle, you're doing your solo thing. Kelly, when are you breaking off?

[Michelle]

It is out in stores now, actually, right now.

[Melissa]

It's in stores right this second?

[Michelle]

Yes.

[Melissa]

And, Kelly, how about you? What do you got coming up?

[Michelle]

I'm gonna start on my project.

[Anna]

Yes.

[Michelle]

I think this or next week. I do one song before we go to Europe, and then I come back and finish recording the rest of it.

[Bert]

So one more time before you guys go with a little Burt.

[Melissa]

Can I start with Survivor and then you guys can finish it off? Because it did make me feel better. Okay, you ready?

[Anna]

All right.

[Melissa]

I'm a survivor.

[Michelle]

What?

[Mark]

A few weeks?

[Lindsey]

Bert's available for tour if you guys need them.

[Bert]

Yeah, when you guys come to Atlanta, Bert will be in the front row.

[Michelle]

All right. Don't be surprised if we pull you up there. I'll be there.

[Melissa]

All right, y', all, good luck.

[Michelle]

All right. Thank you. God bless you.

[Melissa]

You too. Bye now.

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Hannah Burner]

Okay, so tell me if this sounds familiar. You're out with your friends, and someone mentions how much they're saving every month and you're like, wait, should I know that number? Because I'm gonna be straight up with you. That was me. I mean, I thought I was doing fine. I'm paying bills and I'm saving a little here and there. But when I finally looked at everything in Monarch, I realized most of my money was just sitting idle in my checking account. It was basically taking a big nap. Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch, an all in one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or your phone. It gives you visuals, categories, trends, and it's basically like seeing your entire financial picture without a single spreadsheet. And it's built for busy people. You link your accounts in minutes and Monarch does a heavy lifting. You can even share your dashboard with your partner or advisor so everyone's on the same page. Don't let financial opportunities slip through the cracks. Use code [e-mail] in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first [e-mail] with code BERT.

[Melissa]

This is Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad.

[Kelly]

Opill is the first over the counter daily birth control pill available in the us. Let's be real, getting a birth control prescription is not always easy and it's so much admin. In fact, about a third of women.

[Melissa]

Face barriers to access prescription birth control.

[Kelly]

Between scheduling, appoint, missing work class or.

[Melissa]

Just trying to exist, it's a lot.

[Kelly]

But now Opill is putting birth control in our control. Opill is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free, and 98 effective when used as directed. Grab it online or at most major retailers. No prescription or doctor's appointment needed.

[Melissa]

So if you're thinking about birth control.

[Kelly]

Check out opill to see if it's right for you. Use code giggly for 25 off your first month of opill at O-P-I-L.com that's code giggly at L L do birth control and your control. We love to see it.

[Bert]

Say hello to Samantha.

[Hannah Burner]

Hi there.

[Bert]

Samantha built a SaaS platform that helps small businesses manage their workflow. But she needed a smarter way to reach decision makers.

[Anna]

That's where Acast came in.

[Hannah Burner]

They helped me produce a professional audio ad which played to business owners and.

[Lindsey]

Ops leads using their audience attributes targeting tools.

[Hannah Burner]

Suddenly my platform was showing up in the ears of the exact people I needed to reach.

[Bert]

Now that's streamlined marketing. Samantha, what's your tip for scaling smart.

[Hannah Burner]

Solve a real problem and make sure the right people hear about it.

[Bert]

Promote your business with podcast ads on Acast. Get started at go.acast.com advertise.

[Melissa]

Yeah, they're sexy. And, yeah, they take our change every day. But how honest are they? Tollbooth operators, we wanted to test that one day just to see how honest they are with our money. Where are you right now?

[Mark]

I am right in front of the toll booth. I am, you know, a couple hundred y away.

[Melissa]

Okay, roll through it. Let's see what happens if you don't have the cash.

[Mark]

All right, I'm pulling up right now. I have got no change on me whatsoever. I my last 50 cents on coffee this morning. I don't have. I don't. I don't have a penny on me right now. Can I bar 50 Cent? I'll get you back. No, mail this in. Show you me pull up the corner, working the toilet, and you get my plate number. Okay, so that's it. I just mailed this?

[Kelly]

Yeah.

[Michelle]

Okay.

[Mark]

She's taking my plate number. She gave me any. I'm good. I keep going. Can I buy you some coffee or something? Are you good?

[Melissa]

What are you gonna buy a coffee with? Yeah.

[Mark]

Have a receipt in my hand extension, and it costs $1.50, so that.

[Melissa]

Must be the official procedure. So how much do you have on you?

[Mark]

$10.

[Bert]

20 cars.

[Melissa]

20 cars?

[Mark]

Well, 19 cars plus my 50 cents.

[Bert]

1950.

[Melissa]

All right. And now, Tammy. Hey, Tammy.

[Michelle]

How you doing?

[Melissa]

I'm good. How are you?

[Michelle]

I'm doing all right.

[Melissa]

All right. Tammy, how many cars behind Phil are you right now?

[Michelle]

I'm approximately about 10 cars behind Phil.

[Bert]

Well within the range.

[Mark]

I'm way up right now.

[Michelle]

Hey, how you doing?

[Mark]

Hold on.

[Michelle]

I want to take this and pay.

[Mark]

For me and then the 19 cars behind me. Can I do that? There's 10 bucks there. So can I pay for the 19 cars that come in behind me? I can do that. She took it.

[Melissa]

Okay, so she took it. Tammy, you still there?

[Michelle]

Yeah. There's one more car, and then I'm coming up. Oh, and he's letting me go through.

[Bert]

The Birch show.

[Melissa]

You know how there are just some people that no matter what they say, they excite you about what they're selling? The Crocodile Hunter is that guy. He had a movie that came out. Wasn't that great? Didn't do so good. But by the time he left the store studio, you would swear this thing was going to be an Academy award. How are you guys?

[Bert]

We are fantastic.

[Kelly]

Wonderful.

[Melissa]

We're glad to Be here. Thanks. Thanks so much for coming in.

[Bert]

Thanks for having us, Mike.

[Melissa]

Now, I know you guys are, like, on this whirlwind tour of the States right now.

[Michelle]

Yeah, Yep.

[Melissa]

And obviously Atlanta today, But what other states did you hit before you got in here?

[Bert]

Let's see. I landed in lax, got zipped around the airport.

[Michelle]

How's this?

[Bert]

We got our own private jet. This, you know, state of the art Lear jet with a crocodile down both sides. We actually. We actually walk in and out of its mouth. You know, it's really cool. So a bloke from the outback with his own lid's very dangerous. They're not letting me drive it yet. So he flew straight from LAX to Chicago, Chicago to Dallas, and from Dallas to the capital, D.C. d.C. To Atlanta. Here we are, mate.

[Melissa]

Now, this isn't your first trip to the States here, I'm guessing.

[Kelly]

No.

[Bert]

Oh, no, we're here all the time.

[Kelly]

You are actually from here. So you're from Oregon. Correct.

[Melissa]

Okay, Is that. Is when you guys go up to Oregon, do you ever get to, like, unleash what you love to do best out in Oregon and go and do some hunting and fishing and stuff like that?

[Bert]

Absolutely.

[Kelly]

We hunt bears down and try to photograph them before Steve's killed and eaten by them.

[Melissa]

It's really.

[Kelly]

Steve likes to go out just before winter and look for bears. And I go, man, they're about to hibernate. You know what bears do before they hibernate?

[Melissa]

They eat. What are you doing?

[Bert]

How does a girl from Oregon meet a crocodile hunt from Australia?

[Kelly]

Yeah, I went to Australia as an innocent, unsuspecting tourist and went into Australia zoo where this guy is doing a crocodile demonstration. And he's telling me that crocodiles are wonderful mothers and passionate lovers. And you know what crocodiles do. Not many people know this, but the male crocodile actually goes through what's called foreplay.

[Melissa]

I don't get it.

[Bert]

Yeah, I like this.

[Melissa]

Really?

[Kelly]

Wake up.

[Michelle]

No, no, no.

[Kelly]

He's nice to the female crocodile, sometimes for hours.

[Bert]

Are you speaking Australian now?

[Kelly]

We don't understand it, but you can understand I appreciated this guy immediately. I. Wow, he's got a handle on this. And he's got such nice legs. I mean, get a load of them. And where they attach is great, too. He ended up catching crocodiles for months on end with his little dog. And he hadn't seen a woman in quite a while. So I had a distinct advantage, you know? Cause I am a woman and said, g'. Day. And we just clicked, man. It was so Romantic. It was just destiny.

[Bert]

Where's your first date?

[Kelly]

You know, our first date is when he took me out to dinner. And it's like the only time we've gone out to dinner.

[Melissa]

He was courting you for.

[Kelly]

Yeah, that was it. And he took me out to dinner, and we're leaving the restaurant, and he goes, I smell ducks. And I go, wow, that's really amazing. We walk out, and sure enough, here's this pond with ducks on it. And I'm going, this is the most amazing man I've ever met. Of course, that restaurant in that pond had been there for years, but I really thought it was amazing. I smell ducks. Yeah, they've been there for 10 years now.

[Melissa]

The story is even stranger than that because your background is in construction, right?

[Kelly]

Yeah, I worked in construction in the family business. And so when we got married, it's like, I married the man and got the zoo. It's amazing.

[Bert]

And we've been married nearly 10 years now. And the secret to our success. Yeah, that's right. We've been married for 10 years now. And the secret to our success is she still doesn't understand what I'm saying.

[Kelly]

It's beautiful.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Kelly]

He can ask me anything.

[Melissa]

I don't know what he's talking about. Are there times where he's approaching things that are too dangerous, where you have to pull him aside when the cameras are off or whatever and go, look here, Steve, come on, let's not do this.

[Kelly]

Well, not more than once a week. Constantly. Oh, it is absolutely constantly.

[Michelle]

Okay.

[Kelly]

Yeah. With the movie filming, I know Steve was saying, okay, I'm gonna get in the water with this crocodile because, you know, often you have to jump crocs now. Usually jump them when they're six feet long or smaller. And I'm going, yeah, this one's nine and a half feet long. It's gonna bite your head off. And he's like, it didn't, though. It's so quick.

[Michelle]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Okay, so it cracked me across the head, but it never bit me. Oh, one bite on the leg, but it didn't. It didn't hurt.

[Melissa]

Like, look at this.

[Bert]

I got everything.

[Kelly]

Yeah, And a nice scar on the side of your face. And we had to stop filming for a week.

[Melissa]

Oh, really? So that was that the one that's gotten you in the face?

[Bert]

Oh, no, that several hit me in the face. If you get a good close look. Where's your best scar? Here, mate, where the chainsaw got me.

[Melissa]

Oh, no.

[Michelle]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Bert]

No, it's. You know what? I. I've been bitten a thousand times or more.

[Melissa]

So you got scars all over your body?

[Bert]

No, no, just little nicks, you know. How's this? How's this? Like I've got scratched, like almost suicidal scratches here on my hands.

[Melissa]

Oh, wow.

[Bert]

Hey, how long ago is that? Three days. On top of the veins.

[Melissa]

I got this one here on my elbow from skating down Dictionary, California on my skateboard.

[Bert]

Wow, that is good.

[Melissa]

I hit a rock and my skateboard went right over the front. You got one? You want to share?

[Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

You know what? When I was a kid, my parents told me not to be careful when I was home alone, but I wanted to open a can of SpaghettiOs and I didn't know how to work the can opener, so I jammed a knife into the top of the can of spaghettios. And missed.

[Melissa]

Yeah. All of Jeff's injuries are food related. Now let me ask the same question of you. Are there some things that sometimes Terry is doing where you go? Okay, that's not safe. We gotta stop you from doing this right now.

[Bert]

Nah, not really. And she's very safety conscious. We've got a little daughter now.

[Melissa]

Little?

[Bert]

She's only. What does she be? About that big? How old is she, three? She'll be four next month.

[Melissa]

Talking to Steve and Terry Irwin from the Crocodile Hunter.

[Bert]

Wait on mine. Hang on. I got to go in between me legs.

[Kelly]

Hang on.

[Melissa]

Phil Toronto just showed up in the studio in an alligator outfit.

[Kelly]

Oh, my God. I think this crocodile's gonna lay eggs.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God, he has pin fill. Nice one.

[Bert]

Have a look at this little beauty.

[Kelly]

The crocodile is now lighting a smoke.

[Melissa]

Thanks so much for coming in and welcome to Atlanta, y'.

[Michelle]

All.

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Michelle]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

Thanks for coming.

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Melissa]

You know how War of the Roses works, right? Woman is convinced that our man has been mess. So what she does is she has us place a fake phone call to him pretending to be a florist, and she wants to see who he's gonna turn around and send the flowers to. Either her or the person he's messing around with. Hey, Tricia.

[Michelle]

Hey, how are you?

[Melissa]

I'm doing good. How are you this morning?

[Michelle]

I'm all right. Yeah?

[Melissa]

You ready for this?

[Michelle]

Um, yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay, why don't you tell us the situation? Is it a husband? Is it a boyfriend we're calling?

[Michelle]

Um, well, it's a little different of a situation. Um, I was married to my husband Brett for 12 years. You know, we have a 10 year old, but we just. It just stuff wasn't working out and we separated like a year ago. But what happened is a month ago my son came back, you know, because he spends weekends with his dad. And he came back and he said, mommy, Mommy, you know, you guess what Daddy said? Daddy said that if he had the chance to marry you again, he would do everything again. He still really loves you. I just. I can't stop thinking about him ever since that. But I'm not comfortable to broach the subject because of kind of where we're at, you know? So I thought this might be a way to see what's going on.

[Lindsey]

How often do you guys see each other? Is it just when you drop your son off or is it more often than that?

[Michelle]

Yeah, that's pretty much the only time. But you know, we talk sometimes, mostly, of course, about Brian, our son. But other stuff comes up too.

[Bert]

Okay, when your son told you that, was he like all excited running and jumping and happy or.

[Michelle]

He was. Yeah, he was pretty happy about it.

[Bert]

Sure.

[Melissa]

If what he said was true and he would do it all over again. You have the same feeling?

[Michelle]

Yeah, I do.

[Melissa]

Yeah. All right, we'll place the call to him and we'll, you know, we'll see who he'll turn around and send the roses to. I just hate doing this because there's a 10 year old involved, you know?

[Lindsey]

Brett, right?

[Kelly]

Brett.

[Melissa]

Brett, yeah.

[Lindsey]

Hello, is Brett in place?

[Mark]

Yes, this is Brent.

[Lindsey]

Brent, hi, this is Lindsey from Beautiful Buds. I apologize for calling you so early, but I wanted to catch you before you went to work. Actually, we are a brand new flower shop in the area and your name came up in our database. And as a promotional offer, we are offering you a dozen long stem free red roses and you can send them to whomever you'd like. Are you interested in sending somebody free flowers?

[Mark]

Sure.

[Lindsey]

Awesome. Great. Okay. I need to fill out a card first.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Lindsey]

Okay.

[Michelle]

Who?

[Lindsey]

Oh, yes, I'm sorry.

[Mark]

That's great.

[Lindsey]

Oh, great. Okay. Who would you like to send your flowers to?

[Mark]

I would like to send them to Trish Andrews.

[Lindsey]

Trish Andrews. Okay, great. And what would you like the card to say?

[Mark]

I love you always.

[Lindsey]

I love you always.

[Mark]

But don't put my name, put your secret admirer.

[Kelly]

Your secret.

[Lindsey]

Is this a girlfriend?

[Mark]

No. No.

[Lindsey]

But you wanted to be, huh? Sorry, I'm getting busy.

[Mark]

Yeah, I'm a little more than that. Really.

[Lindsey]

A little more than that?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Cool.

[Lindsey]

Gotcha.

[Melissa]

Hey, Brett.

[Mark]

Yeah?

[Melissa]

Now might be a good time for us to introduce ourselves. I'm Bert and this is Melissa and that's Lindsey and Jeff from the bert show on Q100.

[Michelle]

Hi.

[Melissa]

And we have your wife Trish on the other line.

[Michelle]

Hi, honey.

[Melissa]

And let me tell you what's going on, Brett. Your son Brian came home a little bit ago and had mentioned to Trisha that when he was staying with you, you had said something to the effect of, you know, if you could live your life over again, you'd marry Trisha again and that you were still in love with her, and even though you guys are separated for this year, Brian went home and told his mom that, and. And she was kind of using this as a bit of a test to see if you were still into the relationship and maybe there was some hope that the two of you could get back together again.

[Michelle]

I hope there is.

[Melissa]

Did you say that to Brian?

[Mark]

Well, I don't. I don't want to, like, ruin. Ruin the moment, you know, but. You know, I never said that to Brian. Oh, my God.

[Michelle]

Does that mean. Does that mean it isn't true?

[Mark]

No, sweetheart, of course it's true. Do you know, honey, do you know what Brian did?

[Michelle]

What?

[Mark]

You know he did. About a month ago, he came home. When he came to see me, he told me that you said the same thing.

[Melissa]

Sneaky 10 year old.

[Bert]

Wasn't there a Disney movie made about this?

[Hannah Burner]

So we had a feeling how you.

[Lindsey]

Guys were both feeling, though.

[Mark]

Yeah, I know. I. I know I was. I know that. I am.

[Michelle]

Yeah, I was, too.

[Mark]

That boy.

[Melissa]

So when he said that to you a couple of weeks ago, Brett, is that when you turned around and said that, or what was your reaction?

[Mark]

Oh, I just. You know, I was just. I just didn't quite know what to do. You know.

[Melissa]

Why? The secret admirer angle on the. On the cards?

[Michelle]

Because that's how he always used to.

[Mark]

Sign things when we first were dating.

[Lindsey]

I like this Brian child.

[Michelle]

I love him.

[Kelly]

Brian's a smart man.

[Mark]

Oh, boy. I just love him. That's my boy.

[Lindsey]

Sounds like you guys have a lot to talk about.

[Melissa]

Yeah, you do.

[Mark]

It's really.

[Michelle]

I'm gonna.

[Mark]

I'm sorry, y'.

[Michelle]

All.

[Mark]

I just didn't expect this this morning. Honey, I'm gonna take off work early today. I'm gonna take off and I'm gonna come back. I'm gonna come up and see you. All right?

[Lindsey]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

You are so excited here. Chef is melting. Cool.

[Mark]

Honey, I'm just so happy, sweetheart.

[Melissa]

I love you.

[Michelle]

I love you, too.

[Lindsey]

Oh, and I love you.

[Michelle]

I love you guys, too.

[Mark]

You give Brian a kiss for me.

[Melissa]

You know what we'll do? Because you're coming up here tonight, Brian. We'll set you guys up at a really nice restaurant.

[Michelle]

Oh, thank you.

[Melissa]

And you guys will go out and have dinner on us. Maybe we'll send you on over to Grappa.

[Mark]

Thanks.

[Bert]

Unless you guys are gonna be busy doing other things. Cause then you can go to grandpa on a different night or you can go there for lunch or something.

[Mark]

But I mean, that's fine with me.

[Lindsey]

I'm sure they can fit it both in.

[Bert]

Well, there's one other stipulation. Brian had called us too, and that he wanted us to get back into your relationship as well. So we're all going to be moving in together.

[Melissa]

He is a crafty one, that kid of yours.

[Mark]

Man, he's the best.

[Michelle]

Well, I think he just. He saw what was going on.

[Mark]

He knew what was really going on.

[Melissa]

Because he was getting the perspective from both angles. Even though you guys weren't talking, he. He knew what was going on.

[Michelle]

He's.

[Anna]

He was probably sitting in his room listening to the radio, wringing his hands, going.

[Kelly]

He.

[Melissa]

Hey, congratulations, you guys. We'll let you go. Will you check back with us here in a couple of weeks?

[Mark]

Yeah. Thank you, guys.

[Melissa]

Hey, Brett, good talking to you.

[Mark]

All right, you guys, take it easy.

[Michelle]

Bye, honey.

[Mark]

I love you, sweetie. I'll see you in a little while.

[Michelle]

I love you.

[Melissa]

See you guys. Bye.

[Michelle]

Bye.

[Melissa]

Bye.

[Lindsey]

Oh, this is my favorite.

[Melissa]

The Bird Show. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Bert]

Hey, hoops fans. The new NBA season is here, and the Athletic NBA Daily is your daily dose of basketball breakfast. Join me, Dave defore, Zena Ka and Esperaheni Monday through Friday. And Andrew Schlecht and Alex Spears on Saturday for the freshest stories, the hottest takes, and all the highlights from around the NBA, all before you finish your first cup of coffee. Whether it's a sizzling performance, a spicy trade rumor, or some smooth stat lines, we'll serve it piping hot and ready for you. So check out the athletic MBA daily on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

[Melissa]

Acast.com.