Full Show PT 2: Friday, April 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, April 3 [Vault]

Date: April 3, 2026
Podcast Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and others
Summary by Segment with Timestamps

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Episode Overview

This episode combines several classic Bert Show elements: a candid listener story about personal choices and marriage, an entertainment news segment featuring Ashton Kutcher, and an open discussion about the delicate issue of body odor in the workplace. From real-life relationship dilemmas and celebrity interviews to unfiltered workplace talk, the crew mixes sincerity, empathy, and signature humor.

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1. Listener Drama: Amy’s Breast Implant Surprise (00:00–10:21)

Theme: Navigating major personal decisions in a marriage—should you make big changes without your partner’s input?

Key Discussion Points

• Amy’s Situation:

  • Amy’s husband has been in LA for six weeks working on a project.
  • In his absence, Amy decided to get breast implants as a “surprise.”

• Husband’s Possible Reaction:

  • He wasn’t a huge fan of the idea but said he’d accept Amy’s choice.
  • Just before returning, he tells Amy he’s tired of “fake” LA culture, specifically referencing “fake nails, fake hair, fake face, fake body”—making Amy anxious about his response.

• Amy’s Motivations:

  • She wanted to do it for herself, for a confidence boost, and planned the timing so she’d be fully healed by his return.

• Financial Concerns:

  • The panel asks if this was a financial issue; Amy says it's not.

• Caller and Host/Panel Reactions:

  • Debate about the importance of partner “permission” or “blessing” before significant personal changes.
  • The gendered aspect of appearance choices, with recollections of less-permanent changes (like hair color) affecting relationships.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Surprise reveal (01:06):
  • Amy: “I got breast implants.”
• Male perspective on noticing (07:44):
  • “I think a guy would notice that… one of [guys’] missions in life is to study breasts.” – Bert (A)
• On doing it for herself (06:37):
  • Amy: “He loves me for who I am, not my boobs. I’m the one who needed it for myself.”
• On relationship respect and big changes (05:55):
  • “I think it is respectful to get the other person’s blessing before you make a significant change.” – Bert (A)

Highlights

• Comparisons to less-permanent changes (like hair color) and how even those can shift the vibe of a relationship.
• Amy’s worry that her husband, fresh from LA and its “fake” culture, will react poorly or even fail to notice entirely.
• Advice from panel and callers ranges from honest support (“just go for it!”) to reminders about communication and mutual respect.

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2. Entertainment Segment: Ashton Kutcher Interview (10:30–22:25)

Theme: Behind-the-scenes with Ashton Kutcher: filming in Georgia, social media fame, and punking Ted Turner.

Key Discussion Points

• Ashton in Atlanta:

  • Shooting a big-budget film with Katherine Heigl.
  • Enjoys the Southern hospitality—less paparazzi and more privacy than Hollywood.

• Celebrity in Atlanta:

  • Remarks on Atlanta having local celebrities and the city being used to famous faces.

• Social Media and “The Ding Dong Ditch”:

  • Ashton discusses the race to 1 million Twitter followers against CNN.
  • His pledge: if he beats CNN, he’ll “ding dong ditch” Ted Turner.
    • Running joke about Turner not having a doorbell and the sketchiness of planning such a (genuine but friendly) prank.
    • Requests help from Atlanta locals, promising live coverage via Twitter.

• Working with Katherine Heigl:

  • Ashton praises her humor and camaraderie during filming.
  • Jokes about stage kisses, saying filming love scenes becomes “just like touching your own boob” after a while.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the pressure of massive Twitter following (12:07):
  • Ashton: “It's just sort of like anxious—sort of like peeing with a bunch of people watching you. You get stage fright. Is it all gonna come out all right?”
• On filming romance (15:42):
  • Ashton: “It's like touching a boob. Once you touched a boob, you can touch a million boobs.”
• On the Ding Dong Ditch plan (19:06):
  • Ashton: “The ding dong ditch will go down in some form. We're just having to modify what the definition of a ding dong dish is.”

Highlights

• Playful banter about Atlanta, Twitter, and the logistics of “punking” Ted Turner.
• Behind-the-scenes take on acting with Katherine Heigl and the routine nature of on-screen intimacy.
• Ashton’s lively, self-deprecating humor keeps the segment light.

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3. Office Chat: The Body Odor Dilemma (22:30–31:44)

Theme: Handling offensive body odor at work—what’s the right way to address it?

Key Discussion Points

• The Problem:

  • As the weather warms, more listeners email about “offensive” colleagues.
  • Hosts share stories of problematic coworkers in airtight studios and other workplaces.

• Approaching the Conversation:

  • Can you force compliance? Should HR handle it, or is it better coming from a peer?
  • How do you raise the topic respectfully without humiliating someone?

• Listener Calls and Stories:

  • Emma (voice disguised): Had to talk to a church member about body odor; ultimately installed air fresheners that sprayed above this person during services.
  • William: Candidly told a coworker, “You gotta kill that butt crack stank, bro.”
  • Kerry (HR perspective): “Your body odor is offending other people”—she’s had to say it several times and always offers help, but admits it’s painful.
  • Christina: Told her boss (head of hospital department) about her smell; boss was embarrassed but grateful, saying she’d “kill her daughters” for not mentioning it.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On confronting coworker (27:51):
  • William: “Dude, you're gonna have to kill that butt crack stank, bro.”
• HR language (29:35):
  • Kerry: “Body odor. So your body odor is offending other people.”
• Boss’s response to honest awkwardness (31:01):
  • Christina: “She was embarrassed, but she was like, thank you so much. She said, I'm going to kill my daughters for not saying anything to me.”

Highlights

• Debate about the “right” words to use—body odor vs. smell vs. scent.
• Reluctant consensus: most people would rather know than be talked about or avoided.
• Humorous sidebar on being “the stinky kid in class” and the only thing worse: the “Licey kid.”

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Memorable Quotes Compilation

• “I got breast implants.” – Amy (01:06)
• “You went from an A to a C?” – Panel (02:06)
• “He loves me for who I am, not my boobs. I’m the one who needed it for myself.” – Amy (06:37)
• “It's just sort of like peeing with a bunch of people watching you.” – Ashton Kutcher (12:07)
• “Once you touched a boob, you can touch a million boobs.” – Ashton Kutcher (15:42)
• “Dude, you're gonna have to kill that butt crack stank, bro.” – William (27:51)
• “Your body odor is offending other people.” – Kerry from HR (29:35)
• “Wouldn’t you rather have one person have the face to face with you and have it awkward rather than know everybody … is laughing and avoiding you because you reek?” – Kristin (K) (31:01)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:00–10:21 — Listener Amy’s breast implant secret and relationship fallout discussion
• 10:30–22:25 — Ashton Kutcher interview: filming in Atlanta, Twitter antics, and working with Katherine Heigl
• 22:30–31:44 — Handling workplace body odor: real stories, HR advice, and the difficulties of tough conversations

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

True to The Bert Show’s style: candid, empathetic, lively, and sometimes irreverent. The show turns everyday dilemmas and celebrity interviews into relatable, laugh-out-loud moments—always with a touch of humanity and heart.

Transcript

[A]

The Bird Show. Hi, Amy.

[B]

Hi. How are you?

[A]

Good, how are you?

[C]

Hi.

[B]

I'm okay.

[A]

So, first of all, tell us where your husband has been.

[B]

He's been in la.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. And how long has he been gone?

[B]

He's been gone almost six months or so.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

Sorry. Not six months. Six weeks.

[A]

Okay, six weeks.

[D]

That's a long time.

[A]

Well, that's still deserving.

[B]

It sounds like it. He's been gone forever, but.

[A]

And has he been back and forth or has he been out there now?

[B]

No, no, he's been there working on a project, so. And I haven't been able to get out there to see him.

[A]

So you've made some decisions in his absence?

[B]

I have.

[E]

We appreciate you bringing it to the Burt Show.

[C]

Start from where the. When you were thinking about making this decision and when you pulled the trigger.

[B]

Well, I've been thinking about it for a long time and, you know, and even talked about it with my husband and I. I don't know, just when I knew he was going away for a while, I figured it could be

[F]

a surprise, so I decided to do it.

[A]

Yeah, you have to tell us what it is.

[B]

I got breast implants.

[A]

I know this is going to sound like a chauvinist word, but actually there's a different way to say it. You did this without the complete. With your husband having no knowledge of it at all.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And if he did know about it, would you have his blessing? Blessing?

[F]

I mean, when we talked about it,

[B]

he's like, you know, he didn't really. I don't think he's really been a fan of it. Like, he's like, you know, real more. He's like. But, you know, if you, you know, if you decide to do it at some point, you know, it's your thing and whatever, you know, I'll accept it. So it's not one of those things where he was. He's completely against it, but it's not something I initially think he's, you know, would be incredibly thrilled about at the same time. But, you know, I kind of figure like, they look really great. And I think once he sees them and he sees how they make me feel, he thought he'd really.

[F]

He'd be like, okay, well, how noticeable

[G]

is this change gonna be? Because there's, I mean, drastic amount.

[C]

Yeah. You went from what to what? Cup wise?

[B]

I went from an A to a

[E]

C. That sounds too crazy.

[B]

I mean, I like them. I think they. I mean, they're not like, ridiculous for my body size and stuff, but I mean, it's definitely a big change.

[A]

Can you help me out with that? Using examples of people in the room?

[E]

I'm curious.

[A]

You went from a Jen to a Wendy.

[E]

I'm gross. Stop. And don't ever reference either one of us like that ever again.

[A]

I'm just saying I need a male perspective.

[E]

I'm calling Joyce right now. That's our HR director. I'm curious, since you knew he was going to be gone for six weeks, were you planning this, like, so that you could get it done at the beginning of it and then they'd be healed and you'd be through the recovery by the time he got home?

[F]

Exactly.

[B]

And I figured it'd be a surprised when they got back, but I've been making all these excuses to not come out and visit. The excuses have been that I've been really busy, which I have been. But it's primarily the recovery that.

[A]

Will there be any concerns with the finances? Because this is obviously several thousand dollars.

[B]

No, that's not going to be the thing. But see, here's the thing. He's coming home tonight, so I was really excited. But when I talked to him last night, he was like, I can't wait to come home. I freaking ha, L.A. he's like, everybody's so fake. You know, fake nails, fake hair, fake face, fake body. And I'm like, oh, no,

[H]

that ought

[G]

to make you feel great.

[B]

So now I'm really worried.

[A]

Did he actually use the phrase fake body or are you lumping that. Did he just say fake in your head?

[B]

Oh, no, he went through more details of fake everything. Did he say fake boots? But yeah, he's. Now he's going to come home to his fake life, and I am really.

[E]

Oh, no.

[A]

Hang on, Amy. Well, T.C.

[D]

you really do not have an issue. You know, just go out, buy a bikini, Wing comes through the door, throw the robe off, and it's on.

[A]

There you go. See? T.C. bringing the logic.

[E]

I mean, did he like your breasts before?

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I mean, he was perfectly fine with it. He didn't have, like. He said it was my thing. If I wanted it, he wasn't. That is what I wanted to do.

[E]

That was really his complaint.

[B]

He didn't need to have any complaints.

[C]

I mean, if you're gonna do anything, I mean, he can't change anything.

[A]

I just. My concern would be from a mal point of view, if he really liked you the way that you were. Like, I think. And this is not meant to sound chauvinist, and maybe it. Maybe I'm overthinking. It. But, like, I think that if either party. This is what's gonna make it not chauvinist. If either party in a relationship decides to make a drastic change. And I will use an example. Melissa, last year decided to go orange. I don't know if it was a Tennessee thing or whatever, but she went to her hair person.

[C]

Oh, yeah. With red hair. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

And her orangey.

[C]

My stylist said, oh, let's try this color.

[A]

And Katie Jo, after about four days, said she didn't really care for it. And after about five days, Melissa was back to blonde.

[C]

No, that's a great point. I did. My stylist said, you know, let's try different shoes, and with your skin tone, everything, let's try red. And so I went red for, like, you said, it was not long at all because Katie's attitude toward me completely changed, and she didn't even realize she was doing it. Like, the eye contact was different. The sweep, you know, how your partner will look and, you know, kind of do the sweep down of your body every. So whatever was gone. And so I went back to blonde pretty quickly.

[A]

So I hate to use the word.

[E]

No kidding.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

I don't want to use the word approval or permission, but I think in a relationship.

[C]

And that's why. Yeah.

[A]

If you're in a relationship with anyone else, I think it is respectful to get the other person's approval or permission or maybe less harsh blessing before you make a significant change. Now, hair color, if Melissa just decided to deal with it six months later, would have been gone or whatever, but she decided it was obviously significant enough that it was, you know, within a week, But. So, like, hair color, you can change, but the implant situations, way more permanent.

[E]

Yeah. Do you think he's gonna have any concern about the outside male attention that you'll get?

[B]

Hey. Because he'll be concerned about it.

[E]

Do you think he'll be concerned about that?

[B]

No, that I don't think will be the issue. I'm more concerned about him, like, feeling now the whole fake thing threw me because he really is. He's a very, you know, it's like, you know, it's your body, you do what you want kind of a thing. And I mean, he loves me for who I am, not my boobs. So I'm the one who needed it for myself. And I think he'll get that. But now after being in LA and then coming back to this and me having.

[A]

That's the only thing he says that sentence.

[C]

They've been in new York. It had been a different thing.

[A]

Hey, Kelly.

[E]

The night before he comes home.

[A]

Welcome. Welcome to the bird show. Kelly.

[F]

Yeah, I wanted to comment. My sister actually did hers for her self improvement, self image, but her boyfriend never even noticed. And she went from the exact same size. And because they look so natural, he was gone for weeks as well and didn't even notice the change.

[E]

He didn't notice.

[G]

Awesome.

[F]

No, if they look natural, they don't really notice that it's much of a change.

[A]

That Right there is, not that there's.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Hey, honey. Noticed anything different?

[C]

How'd you get new hair?

[D]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, I think a guy would notice that. Brent, get my back on that. The girl, whatever size she moves to, a guy's gonna notice, right?

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

I mean, it's what guys are built to do. Look at boobs guys don't have. Guys don't have a lot of missions in life. One of them is to study breasts.

[D]

That is exactly right. I mean, I'll try to put this as politically correct as I can. You know, all guys are little boys that like breasts. Boobies, the breast babies is what we are. And I think that he's going to absolutely love. I'm sure you don't have any self esteem issues, but just the rise in your confidence level. I'm sure he's going to absolutely love it.

[A]

See, that's.

[E]

You got nothing, nothing to worry about

[A]

except, God, if you came home and if he came home and didn't even

[F]

notice it, that would be bad, too.

[B]

I don't know what would be worse.

[A]

Would you be mad? Would that make you angry?

[B]

It wouldn't make me angry. I suppose it'd be a little disappointed that he wouldn't notice that. You know, that, that kind of a shift, I mean, the pretty big shift, it's not like an awkward, weird shift, but it's definitely.

[A]

Hey, Abby, welcome to the bird show.

[E]

Hi.

[F]

I was just gonna say, like, I got mine done when my husband and

[H]

I was dating pretty seriously at first.

[F]

And at first he was like freaked out about it and a little odd, but he got used to it real quick.

[E]

And now he's happy.

[H]

Yeah, he's quite happy.

[A]

Hey, I think, Amy, if you. I mean, I didn't think of the angle. I'm thinking purely from a logical guy's point of view. Guys are practical, simple creatures. Lucky for you, you have two things that you can distract him with if he starts to get upset about anything. Like, seriously. My thought would be the finances. Like, because you guys are married and this is a Significant to me. It would be no different than if you went out and spent 10 grand on a, you know, soup of his car, a stereo for the house or home theater. Without your approval. I know, crappy word, blessing, whatever. But without doing that, like, I think you. I think that would be. Would be. Would be upsetting to me. But if you're certain that that sort of financial transaction wouldn't impact you guys at all or affect him. Yeah, I can't. And I'm sure his comment about Los Angeles was more of a generalization. You know what I mean?

[B]

I hope so.

[G]

Just don't get hair extensions.

[B]

Little panic attack, you know.

[A]

Hey, Kevin, what's your idea?

[D]

So if he came home and didn't notice, it might be a bit of an insult, but then again, he might just think that they grew naturally. Sure.

[A]

Guys are not that bright. I don't know what you've been eating, but go for it. The bird show. You know, we talked about this for weeks now. I think this is the biggest budget movie to be filming in Georgia, and it stars Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl, and it's filming all around town. They were on a soundstage recently. I think they're. If they're not out there yet, they're going to be doing some stuff in Douglasville and sightings of all the stars all around town. I mean, this is cool for Georgia. It's Georgia Pride, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would say the biggest name in the movie. And our friend, because we follow him on Twitter.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So he's like our bff. It's a K. Ashton Kutcher.

[G]

So exciting.

[A]

Welcome to Atlanta, Ashton Kutcher.

[D]

Thanks for having me in Atlanta. I appreciate you opening the doors to me, and I'm happy to be here.

[A]

Good morning.

[G]

Is that 140 characters?

[D]

Yes, that's exactly 140 characters. I was just happy that they didn't, like, stop me at the border when I came into it. They into Georgia. After everything that's been going on with

[A]

the CNN race, I think you're cool. I mean, Ted Turner is a powerful man, but I think. One point. What are you up to? Like, 1.7 million followers?

[D]

1.7 million followers. That's like Ted Turner's boating budget for the summer.

[E]

Do you feel pressure because you've got that many people following you on every single thing you tweet?

[D]

Kind of makes me not want to tweet anymore.

[A]

Seriously?

[D]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I do get a little bit nervous about what I put up there. Like, I don't you know, I get a little bit like, just sort of like anxious, sort of like peeing with a bunch of people watching you. You just get a little bit of like that stage fright. Like, is it all gonna come out all right? You know, you just don't want to really, like, misfit speak when there's like 1.7 million people listening to you.

[A]

So Ashton Kutcher, the first person to equate tweeting to standing at a urinal in a public's men's room. Yeah.

[E]

Making sure to be peace shy or tweet shy.

[A]

How's the filming going?

[D]

It's going really, really great. I think we got a big, fat fun movie happening here.

[A]

And how long are you going to

[D]

be in town for the next, like another month or so. Maybe a month and a half.

[A]

And we know Issachar was here with you for a while. Is she still here?

[D]

Yeah, she's back in town. She's sort of shooting back and forth. You know, our girls are still in school.

[E]

So I'm curious about the difference in working in Atlanta and working in Hollywood. Do you get a little more privacy here because there's not the packs of paparazzi.

[D]

Yeah, you know what, it's actually been really, really nice since I've been down here. It hasn't been. I haven't had any paparazzi run ins and that makes me happy.

[A]

I think the fans, at least my impression is I think Atlanta fans are more respectful of celebrities, whether in town or out of town. I think it might be just the Southern hospitality thing.

[D]

I think it's a little bit of that. I think it's also a little bit. I mean, there's a lot of well known people in Atlanta also. We have Usher and Ludacris down here and you have Tyler Perry and that whole gang. So there's a lot of people that are down here already that are well known. So I think there's a part of people in Atlanta that are just used to seeing people, you know, and how many.

[E]

It's that deer in headlights effect. Like we don't know what to do. There's a famous person, ah, that's a celebrity. What do we do?

[C]

He looked just like Ashton Goodrich.

[A]

Yeah. Hey, how often on like a monthly basis, Ashton, does somebody come running up to you and say, hey, and you know, say something obnoxious and they go, ah, you just got punked.

[D]

That happens weekly.

[A]

Probably flattering for the first couple times. And then, yeah, you know what?

[D]

Now it just gets to the point where it's like I just like, give it to him. Like, oh, you got me. You know, it's like before leaving, they're like, hey, did you lose your wallet? I'm like, oh, man, you punked me. Let it happen. Because there's no sense in fighting it.

[A]

It's like you just took a five year old's nose. That little thing. I got your nose. Ashton Kutcher on with the bird show.

[D]

Exactly that.

[E]

I'm curious about what it's like to work with Katherine Heigl.

[D]

She's fantastic. She's really, really great. I mean, we've only done. We did like a week together. A week together shooting in France. And then we've only shot a couple days down here. But it's just great. Like we're just having a good time. And she's really funny and it just makes it fun to come to work with someone who can. Who entertains you. So she's entertaining to me.

[E]

Do you guys smooch in the film?

[D]

There might be a little bit of that. We haven't really gotten into that yet. I mean, I got her in one lip lock and that was about it. But it wasn't. It was like an abbreviated one.

[E]

You know, how many guys are so jealous right now?

[A]

And how many girls are jealous?

[G]

I'm just wondering if that's ever uncomfortable. Especially if Demi's on the set. Is that ever uncomfortable to kiss, like, somebody. Some other girl?

[D]

You know what? It's part of the. You know, it's kind of like the job. It's like touching a boob. Once you touched a boob, you can touch a million boobs.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I missed that. I don't know. But you gotta admit, Ashton, it's still fun to touch boobs.

[D]

Well, it's like a girl touching her own boob. You know what I mean? It's sort of like, oh, yeah, it's just a boob. You know, like after you kiss somebody and you've done it the first couple times that you do it in a movie, it's really scary. And then after that, it's just like a girl touching her own boob. It's just like, whatever.

[A]

That's a good analogy. So what's on your agenda during your time in Atlanta outside of work?

[D]

Well, I have a little something I gotta take care of. You know, I promise people if I beat CNN to a million viewers or to a million followers, that I would ding dong ditch Ted Turner. And if you don't know what a ding dong Ditches, it's where you ring somebody's doorbell and then you run like hell and you watch them come outside and be all pissed off that somebody keeps ringing their bell right.

[A]

Now, before you even finish that part of it, did you have any idea when you wrote that tweet about ding dong ditching Ted Turner that this would become such a massive CNN mosquito net awareness, 1 million follower race that was on the top of the news cycle for five days. Was that even in the back of your mind?

[D]

Well, yeah, I had an inclination. First of all, I didn't think I would beat them there, but I had an inclination because it was a first. Right. So anytime that you have, like something that's a first that's never been done before, right. Like nobody has ever had a million followers, it actually becomes newsworthy and relevant. And so. And the idea was, is that if we can use something that's newsworthy and relevant to raise the awareness for something good, like, like, you know, malaria, the awareness for malaria, then actually all the dots really connect. So there was a little bit of, you know, understanding that it was going to be important. Whoever hit million first, I didn't think it would get this big. Right. But you know what? You can't calculate everything.

[A]

You actually got Larry King to have a sense of humor, so that, I mean, that's an accomplishment in itself.

[D]

Larry King does stand up comedy, man. Are you kidding me? Larry King used to do a stand up routine. I think he still does. He's hilarious.

[A]

Yeah. He was the first person to do a response video. And I remember watching it going, larry King's actually cool.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yes. He was totally playing into it and trying to get Ashton fired up and talking about who's going to beat who. So have you had your Ted Turner encounter yet?

[D]

I have not had my Ted Turner encounter. And so there's been some difficulties now with the Ding Dong Ditch, namely Ted doesn't have a doorbell. Right.

[A]

Well, that'll make it pretty difficult.

[G]

That's gonna make it pretty tough.

[D]

We're having to work around that. Secondly, Ted's house isn't really accessible, so we're having to work around that as well. But there is going to be a. The ding dong dis will go down in some form. We're just having to modify what the definition of a ding dong. This is.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

If you can't win the game, I'm gonna go. Boy. I'm gonna be so bold to say that within the next 24 hours, the ding dong ditch will go down and I need the Help of the people of Atlanta.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

All right.

[D]

If people can follow the @A +K feed on Twitter, okay. Today I certain point in time, I will be asking people for some help, especially the people of Atlanta. I might. I might. I mean, I might need people to come out with it with the bells on and give it be ready to go.

[A]

Okay. Is that a joke or you seriously need people to be ready with bells?

[D]

Well, if they have bells, that's fantastic. If they don't have bells, that's okay too. But I might need to have. We might have to do a little tweet up. All right?

[A]

And this tweet up will happen within the next 24 hours.

[D]

Probably within the next 24 hours, there will be more instructions. Unless something goes down that it can't happen within the next 24 hours, there will be more instructions to come at A+K on Twitter. Because I can't.

[I]

I can't.

[D]

I can't donate all the information at one time. And if I do it too early in the day, I can get shut. There's all kinds of complications that could go down.

[A]

I feel like, you realize right now I feel like I'm planning a ding dong ditch, you know, process or ding dong ditch attack the way James Bond would plan the infiltration of some palace in a Bond movie. I can't reveal all.

[D]

You know, this is the kind of stuff. These are secret missions. I kind of did this professionally for a while, right? I have a little know how in the field. The only thing is that, you know, generally when you do a ding dong dish, you don't tell the person that you're doing it before you do it, right? So. So, you know, because otherwise they're just like, okay, Ashton, come out. You know what I mean? So. So it's presenting a little bit of a complication, but it's all gonna work out. I got. I got it. I got the plan locked in. I just need the help of the people of Atlanta.

[E]

You sound like that senior in high school who has a trunk full of toilet paper.

[A]

Right?

[E]

Getting ready to go TP somebody's house.

[A]

I'll meet at the stadium after school.

[G]

I just imagine everybody in a big old bell suit,

[J]

something.

[A]

And it's safe to assume that this. This whole process will be filmed. So the followers at A plus K will also be able to see the result of their participation afterwards. Correct.

[D]

We will be live. We will be live to the. Live to the Internet.

[A]

All right, well, Ashton, it's out there and we all follow you, so we'll Retweet as needed, and hopefully people will sign up. And I wish you luck. I mean, keep in mind, the guy's a billionaire. He's got people. You could disappear. This could be.

[D]

I know he's got a lot of people. That's why I gotta be very careful about this.

[A]

Yeah, you may be doing it. Do you have any final words? This could be the last. Cause he'll make you disappear. He'll put you on a ranch full of bison somewhere, and we'll never hear from you again.

[D]

I will be punking from the other side. That's my life.

[A]

All right, well, good luck.

[D]

I got to go shoot a movie. We'll talk to you guys later.

[A]

Cool. Good luck with everything.

[E]

Ashton, good luck with the film to Atlanta.

[D]

Yep. Take it easy.

[A]

The Bird show.

[K]

From time to time, we get a very similar email from those of you that listen. And it's so common that we got to bring it up and try to figure out exactly how you handle the situation. So we could pass this advice on to you guys. If there is somebody in the office that is so offensive, smell wise, how do you handle it?

[C]

Because it's getting warmer. Is that why you think we're getting more emails?

[K]

It could be. It could be.

[A]

I didn't think of the warmth, so it's offensive.

[E]

Body odor. We're not talking about perfume, right?

[K]

No, we're not talking about perfume. It's body odor that more than one person around your office has mentioned.

[E]

Mm.

[K]

There's almost a little buzz whenever this person goes by because it's consistent, but

[C]

you don't know how to go to that person themselves and say anything.

[K]

Indeed.

[A]

I told you guys, the girl who I worked with in Syracuse, you know, airtight radio studio, she was filling in one week during, like, middays or something like that. And whatever shift she was filling in for, the sun was up when she came to work, and she thought it would be a great idea to ride her bike. So she would, I think, sleep late, no shower, get on her bike, ride it to work, sit in the airtight studio. She, unlike us, or unlike some of us, didn't really want the air conditioner on. Worked better when she was loose and warm like that hot yoga. Maybe she was just ahead of her time, you know what I mean? So she's got it nice and cozy in there.

[K]

Bikram studio.

[A]

To the point where I remember the reason that they finally decided to talk to her is when the guy who came in after her was actually lit and smoked part of a cigar in the Studio to get this smell, because the only thing that could overpower that one smell was the smell of a cigar.

[K]

I wonder if we could get one of two calls, and that is maybe from somebody in HR that has had to have the talk. I'd also like to talk to somebody and put you on the voice disguiser that had to talk to them. Like HR called you in, or somebody in the office was voted that person. Because to tell you that you were the person that was offensive in the office. Like, how can it be done and done in a way that doesn't completely humiliate you?

[E]

Because anybody that has to approach you about your body odor is uncomfortable and they don't want to offend you. And maybe you don't even know that you smell bad, you know, so they. What are the right words to use to start that conversation or even have that conversation?

[A]

It's such a never know. They smell.

[E]

Is that true?

[K]

I think that they have no idea or they. Of course they would cover that up.

[E]

Are you sure?

[C]

I remember I was a little sister in a fraternity in college, and there was one guy, and. But they just out, you know, guys just. And it's college, so it wasn't a workspace. But they would just give him a hard time because they would always say he had his cologne on. But he was one of those guys that I guess wanted to adopt the European culture of not having to cover your natural body odors. So he purposely did not wear deodorant because he didn't believe in it. And when we would have, like, parties and house parties and everybody would get in there and dance and stuff, there he was wearing his cologne.

[K]

As they would say, emma wants to be on the voice disguiser. Hey, Emma. Good morning.

[J]

Hey, Good morning. How are you guys doing?

[K]

Okay. Now, were you the person that had to be talked to or were you assigned the talk?

[J]

We were assigned the talk with somebody at our church.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[J]

Okay. And we told them we even went to their house so it wouldn't be on the church setting, and they didn't do anything about it. So we ended up having to install one of those little air fresheners that went off, like, every 18, 36 minutes above where they sat.

[E]

No way.

[K]

You just hear it go, like, every 18 minutes during church.

[J]

We all knew what it was for, so we just tried to ignore it.

[C]

Oh, that's so sad.

[E]

So how do you start that conversation?

[J]

We just went to the church. We went to their house, and we told them, you know, look, we know that you are. Don't Aren't in the best conditions right now. And, you know, we've had some of the visitors complain, and they're like, oh, I don't know what they're talking about. So all you can do is really try. And if they take your advice, they take it. If they don't, they don't.

[K]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

In a workplace setting, this would be an HR question. But in a workplace setting, can you force someone to comply? Like a church setting? I guess you could ban them from the church. I guess you could say, you're not welcome, but that seems so.

[K]

I told you we had this happen in Dallas. The overnight girl before I came in was. She was a large woman, and she sweat a lot, and she liked it like an incubator in there also. And my first job every morning because the studio got so bad. These are airtight here. Like Jeff was saying, there's airtight in here. So she was in here for four and a half hours, reeking up the place. My first job every single day when I came in was to freshen the studio and get the overnight girls stank out of there.

[E]

And so nobody ever approached her about it.

[K]

I can't remember the end. I certainly wasn't me. I don't know if h. I think HR did have to have a couple of conversations with her.

[J]

Her.

[A]

The girl in Syracuse. HR talked to her. Like, they had to say, look like the guy smoking the cigars in the studio was the final straw.

[C]

They're like, dude, yeah, just. And the person after that could smell

[A]

both cigar and stank.

[K]

We got two actual experiences here from people that have had to have the talk. William, good morning. You're on Q100.

[D]

Hey, good morning, y'.

[J]

All.

[C]

Good morning.

[I]

Oh, yeah. I had to confront this. I'm not gonna say any names, but, yeah, he was a. He was a large dude. It got to the point where he was aggravating me, and I just pulled him to the side and. And walked out back and smoked a cigarette with him. I said, dude, you're gonna have to kill that buck crack stank, bro.

[K]

No.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[I]

It was killing me.

[C]

And what'd he say?

[F]

Well, you know, he.

[I]

You know, he laughed. He says, yeah, you know. You know. You know, he was kind of, like, offensive at the same time. But I said, I wasn't trying to be mean. I just rather speak to you about it, then go to HR I think

[K]

maybe a dude can have a talk with a new dude easier than dude

[E]

could be like, bro, you stink. Yeah, you need to clean it up.

[C]

Or like the fraternity. Yeah, like in the fraternity, where they just gave him a hard time and just kept giving him a hard time

[E]

until he got the point.

[C]

Right.

[E]

But in a work setting. Well, I guess it depends on if you're like, well, it depends on your work environment, A. And I think B, it depends on your relationship at work. If your buddies, if you're coworkers, it would be a lot easier to take, don't you think?

[C]

Yeah.

[K]

Here's an actual word from hr. Hey, Kerry, you've had to have this talk before.

[F]

Several times. Several times. We work in a small call center, and, you know, it's a. It's a very small setting, so you're right next to the person next to you. And I'm like, the nicest person to everybody and some kind of friends with everybody, and they always pick me to have the talk with people, and I've had to do it several times, and it's the hardest thing to do. And you kind of started out with, you know, I don't want to offend you, but your smell is kind of offending other people. So, you know, I always do it with, you know, if you need any help with, you know, some soap or some, you know, perfume or something like that, you know, we'll be more than willing to help you out. But kick in, that's the hardest conversation to have, especially with somebody that, you know. You know, somebody that's worked there for a little.

[E]

Right. And do you use the word smell or scent or body odor? What word do you use?

[F]

Yeah, body odor.

[E]

Body odor. So your body odor is offending other people?

[K]

Oh, how about if you had to

[A]

tell your boss, you should get all psychic on him and be like, I can see your aura.

[E]

I can smell it, too.

[K]

Christina had to tell us to her boss, hi, guys.

[H]

I used to work in a hospital, and the head of our department was a woman who was about a mom age, probably like mid-50s. And the big joke around the office was how bad she used to smell, and nobody would say anything to her. And she had two daughters that were in their 20s, the same age I was at the time. And I noticed when my mom was going through menopause, like, any perfume or body soap she used affected the way she smelled. So I told my mom. So I figured, you know what? I'll just say something to my boss about it. Just asking her, you know, if she knows anything about it, because she was a nurse. And so when I mentioned it to her, I was kind of hoping she'd get the hint? Because everyone in the office was like, you know, directed more towards her. So when I hinted about it, she act on. And then a few days later I. They asked me to go back in and say something to her. And when I told her, she was just. She was embarrassed, but she was like, thank you so much. She said, I'm going to kill my daughters for nothing to me. And she was just. She was happy I told her. And she asked me if anyone else had said anything and I lied and said no because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. But it was like the big joke in the hospital. Every time she walked by, people were like, oh my God, she reeks.

[K]

Wouldn't you rather know, like, if you're that person, like, wouldn't you rather have one person have the face to face with you and have it awkward rather than know everybody in the office is laughing and sort of avoiding you because you reek?

[C]

Yeah, but it's so awkward to talk about because it is something that potentially is gonna hurt somebody's feelings and nobody wants to do that. You're the stinky kid in class.

[K]

Oh, only one thing worse than that. That's the Licey kid.

[E]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[E]

That's how you should start it with, well, I've got good news. You don't have lice.

[K]

You're not the Licey kid in the office.

[A]

You don't have lice or the curvature of your spine.

[C]

The reason you don't have lice is because you stink too bad.

[K]

Even though lice don't wanna have anything to do with you.

[A]

Hey, the Birch Show.