Full Show PT 2/ Friday, August 7 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – August 7, 2026 [Vault] (Full Show PT 2) – Detailed Summary

Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show, featuring Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the rest of the cast, takes listeners on a journey through candid, often hilarious conversations about trending topics, listener call-ins, personal experiences, and pop culture. The show balances real talk with humor as it covers topics including intimate cosmetic procedures, Black tanning culture, and a deep-dive interview segment with Simon Cowell. The crew interacts fluidly with each other and their audience, ensuring every topic is both informative and entertaining.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The G Shot: What Is It and Who’s Getting It? (01:15–14:39)

• Discovery and Curiosity

  • Melissa introduces "the G shot," an injection of Juvederm into the G-spot designed to enhance sexual pleasure for women with trouble achieving orgasm. There’s confusion but curiosity in the studio about what the procedure involves, its safety, and effectiveness.
  • Quote (Melissa, 01:43): "It's the filler stuff. Like you put it in your smile, like in the... What are the laugh lines? ...It just plumps you."

• Skepticism & Speculation

  • The conversation delves into whether the need for such a shot is due to women’s anatomy or male partners' capabilities.
  • Quote (Carl, 02:48): "But B. Melissa, you got to think if this is…this is a dude's fault really though, isn’t it?"
  • Jen and Cassie raise the question: does it actually help, or is user error to blame?

• Listener Interactions & Real-life Experiences

  • Several callers share thoughts—one noting the procedure's appearance on “Dr. 90210” years ago, and another (Ashley, on a voice disguiser) gives a firsthand account of getting the shot and advising where to get it done.
  • Quote (Ashley, 11:08): "I’ve had it done. And we do it at our doctor’s office also."
  • Quote (Ashley, 11:47): "They take the substance and mix it with lidocaine. So you don’t feel it. ...It feels like a very minor, minor sting."
  • Details include cost ($700-$850), pain level (“very minor sting”), how the procedure is performed, and how long effects last (up to 18 months).
  • Significant curiosity: Do partners feel a difference? Ashley affirms yes, it benefits both.

• Notable/Comedic Moments

  • Lighthearted banter about whether pain or results are worth it, and jokes about anatomy and relationship dynamics.
  • Quote (Melissa, 07:57): "You’re really going to say, jump on this grenade right now."
  • Quote (Ashley, 12:52): "It just makes it over the top, more intense. And like my boyfriend has said that he can feel a difference."

• Takeaways

  • The G shot is real, growing in popularity, and not openly marketed by many doctors. Pain is minor, cost is high but dropping. Many are curious, but few admit trying it live on-air.

Timestamps:

• 01:15 – Topic intro & initial reactions
• 04:20 – Listener reaction & backstory
• 06:23 – Scientific clarification (size doesn’t matter—technique!)
• 11:06 – Firsthand testimonial from Ashley (procedure details)
• 13:15 – Cost & popularity of the procedure

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2. Black Tanning Culture: Myths, Pride, and Sun Safety (17:12–25:03)

• Personal Anecdotes & Cultural Context

  • Brandon shares his personal routine of trying to get darker in the summer, sparking a discussion about color, pride, and perceptions in the Black community.
  • Quote (Brandon, 19:21): "So I go out and I conscientiously try to get darker during the summer...it hasn't been like a big thing to me."
  • Quote (Ashley, 19:40): “The blacker the berry, baby.”
  • Shawna, a caller, shares her grandmother’s cautionary advice not to get too dark ("tar baby"), illuminating generational and cultural differences about skin color.

• Health Myths and Safety

  • Melissa poses a key question about whether higher melanin content means less risk of skin cancer. Brandon and others weigh in, reflecting community beliefs versus scientific fact.
  • Quote (Melissa, 21:42): "Do black folks get skin cancer less than white folks? Does the melanin in your skin protect you from skin cancer?"
  • Callers of various skin tones (from caramel to dark-skinned) discuss their preferences about tanning, associated beauty standards, and confidence.

• Clarifying Misconceptions

  • Brandon and others get tangled between "melanin" (skin pigment) and "melatonin" (sleep hormone), leading to humorous confusion.
  • Quote (Carl, 19:01): "Melatonin."
  • Quote (Brandon, 19:09): "What if that’s your sleeping problem? That I’m taking too much melanin…"

• Community Perspectives

  • Some callers embrace tanning for deeper tones they view as beautiful and healthy-looking, highlighting diversity in opinion within the Black community.
  • Quote (Caller Sarah, 23:23): "I’ve always envied darker black skin, black people. So every summer I make sure I go out and tan…get that caramel color."

• Science Acknowledged

  • Despite general belief in protection, a caller confirms having lost a Black friend to skin cancer, underscoring the need for awareness and sun safety for all.

Timestamps:

• 17:12 – Introduction to topic (baseball walk-up songs/tanning)
• 18:23 – Brandon explains his tanning practice
• 20:33 – Shawna’s perspective, generational advice, and sunblock habits
• 21:42 – Melissa’s skin cancer question and responses
• 23:02 – Callers’ experiences (caramel skin; tanning preference)
• 24:23 – Caller confirms Black people can get skin cancer

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3. Simon Cowell on Oprah: Fame, Honesty, and Life Changes (27:22–35:26)

• Why Simon Left “American Idol”

  • Recap of Simon Cowell’s recent appearance on Oprah, discussing his decision to leave the show at the height of his career for “the new challenge.”
  • Quote (Simon Cowell, 27:57): "Probably for the same reasons you left. You just know it's time, time. Time's up..."
  • The hosts respect his self-awareness and willingness to walk away from fame and a big paycheck.

• Ratings and Paula Abdul’s Departure

  • Simon discusses his thoughts on dropping ratings and the impact of Paula Abdul’s exit.
  • Quote (Simon Cowell, 30:04): “Yeah, I do, actually. Yeah...I think we had a great team.”
  • He predicts Paula will have future success, expressing ongoing respect.

• Replacement and Judging Philosophy

  • Simon emphasizes that Idol judges should have real expertise—not just personalities.
  • Quote (Simon Cowell, 31:16): “...you've got to have somebody on that panel who actually knows what they're talking about...100% right. Yes.”

• Personal Life: Relationships and Kids

  • Simon is frank about his mood swings, lengthy work hours, and how “work can become like a girlfriend.”
  • Quote (Simon Cowell, 31:59): “I think what can happen is, is that your work can become like a girlfriend. Because I think it's very difficult for anyone…”
  • He jokes about only wanting kids if they could be born at age five, showing his preference for engaging with children at a communicative age.

• Reflection on Age Labels

  • The team pokes fun at the trendy phrase “50 is the new 40,” calling out how people adjust age labels to comfort themselves.
  • Quote (Carl, 34:31): “A pet peeve of mine is when this age is the new [that] age—that drives me crazy…”

Timestamps:

• 27:22 – Segment intro, Simon talks about leaving
• 29:37 – The hosts discuss finding continued motivation
• 30:04 – Simon on Paula Abdul and show dynamics
• 31:16 – Importance of expertise for Idol judges
• 31:59 – Simon’s views on relationships and parenting
• 34:10 – Panel debates “the new 40” age clichés

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4. Odd Bar Trends: The "Recycled Shot" (37:40–39:13)

• Melissa and Carl debate the concept of the "recycled shot": a Miami bar gimmick where the bartender takes a shot, swishes it in their mouth, spits it back into the glass, serves it, and then slaps the customer. The team reacts with collective disgust and amusement.
  • Quote (Melissa, 37:54): "No, definitely not swishing any vodka in my mouth and then serving it up to the next person."
  • The segment is a light, comedic break reflecting the show’s signature blend of real commentary and humor.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It's a needle in the vagina." (Jen, 04:52) – deadpan delivery reflecting on the G shot’s appeal (or lack thereof).
• "I weigh 88 pounds, and I pushed out a 10.2-pound baby!" (Caller, 10:02) – demonstrating women’s tolerance for pain and the lengths they’d go for sexual fulfillment.
• "The blacker the berry baby. ...Sweeter the juice." (Brandon & Ashley, 19:40) – cultural pride and self-affirmation in the tanning discussion.
• "50 is the new 40. ...No, it's not. You're still 60. It's not new." (Carl, 34:31) – calling out age-relabeling.
• "Get them at 5 years old where they're just ready to go to school." (Cassie, 34:13) – joking about Simon Cowell’s tongue-in-cheek parenting preferences.

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Conclusion

Part 2 of The Bert Show's August 7, 2026, episode showcases the cast’s ease with taboo-breaking conversations and their knack for mixing sincerity with humor on topics ranging from intimate cosmetic trends to Celebrity interviews and social commentary. Between expert listener engagement, cultural insights, and pop culture critique, the show consistently creates an open, engaging space for both fun and enlightenment – all while keeping it authentically “real and funny.”

Transcript

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[Carl]

So, Jen Hobby do tell about the G shot.

[Melissa]

I was sitting with a couple of girlfriends last night and we were enjoying some patio time and some food and wine, and they said, have you heard about the G shot? And I said, no. Nope. What is this? Well, apparently doctors are now injecting Juvederm into your G spot so that it can be bigger and help women achieve the big O.

[Listener/Caller]

What is Juvederm?

[Melissa]

It's the filler stuff. Like you put it in your smile, like in the. What are the laugh lines? That's what they call them right here.

[Listener/Caller]

And this is not to be confused with Juvexin.

[Melissa]

No, Juvexin's for your hair. This is like Botox. Got it. Yeah, it would. It's in the same family as Botox, but it doesn't freeze you. It just plumps you.

[Jen]

Either way, you're not sticking a needle on the G spot.

[Melissa]

No, exactly. It's called a G shot. And apparently women who have difficulty reaching the big O have been doing this where they get injected right there so that it protrudes a little bit more and it can be found and, you know, accessed a little bit easier.

[Listener/Caller]

Hey there.

[Carl]

Yeah, I was just gonna ask if anybody's had this done to call us up, give us the review, and we'll put you on the voice disguiser. 404-741-Q100.

[Melissa]

Apparently a friend of my friends that were there last night is doing some sort of promotion for a doctor in town who does it. I don't know who the doctor is. I wouldn't know where to send you to go get it. Yeah, but. But apparently this is. This is a thing.

[Carl]

Well, I got a couple of thoughts on it.

[Melissa]

First I'm hurting.

[Carl]

I want to know how painful that's gotta be. But B. Melissa, you got to think if this is. This is a dude's fault really though, isn't it?

[Jen]

That's my thought.

[Cassie]

Is.

[Jen]

Is I want to talk to the women who got it. And did it really improve versus the fact that he just never found it in the first place?

[Melissa]

Well, he might not be able to find it. Maybe. Maybe it's with significant others that aren't really well endowed. Maybe they. Maybe they can't reach.

[Jen]

Is that going to change anything?

[Carl]

Apparently enlarges that area and you there.

[Jen]

Yeah, it depends on the guy. How much do you have to get injected?

[Ad Announcer]

I don't know.

[Melissa]

I'm fascinated by this now. I don't think that it's painful. Cause I've actually. I tried Juvederm a long time ago in my laugh lines. Yeah, that's your face and that's your face. And it plumps, you know, it kind of like plumps up like where those wrinkles are. So I understand that like the concept. But this is in your vajayjay. That means you guys were clarifying. Wendy has found hers. She knows where to find it.

[Listener/Caller]

Just a heads up, you guys probably aren't gonna want to get that done before the morph suit bed is over with because that would be embarrassing.

[Carl]

Was Jen sitting on a basketball? She said the basketball in that more suit. Oh my God.

[Melissa]

It's not gonna be that much.

[Interviewer]

Gonna be.

[Carl]

Looks like the size of a hippity hop.

[Melissa]

Maybe it's just. I think it's wrong with you. A reflection of the men's size in here. They would need it to be that big to reach it.

[Carl]

I can't find anybody that has actually tried this yet. Maybe. It's so new. Good morning, Marie. You are on the Burke show.

[Caller]

Hi, good morning. Guys. Remember the news clip you guys played a couple days ago with when that newscaster said something about that girl liking penis more?

[Carl]

Yes.

[Caller]

This is what they were talking about.

[Carl]

Right?

[Listener/Caller]

Right.

[Melissa]

I didn't even realize that.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So apparently people have been getting it done, but it's not happening for me.

[Carl]

I can't find that news clip. I'm searching for it right now, but I don't think a whole bunch of people are getting it done because it's. Normally we can ask for anything on this show and we'll get calls.

[Jen]

It's a needle in the vagina.

[Melissa]

Yeah,

[Listener/Caller]

I thought you were. I thought. Melissa, weren't you. You were endorsing them, weren't you?

[Jen]

Hell, no.

[Listener/Caller]

But what is red box?

[Jen]

Funny, because I've never lost that area.

[Ashley]

Huh.

[Listener/Caller]

What does red box say?

[Jen]

I know where to find things.

[Carl]

That's what you'll have after the day

[Listener/Caller]

at the red box.

[Carl]

I'm telling you. Where am Evan? Good morning. You're on the Burnt show. Hi, Teehee.

[Caller]

Hello.

[Carl]

Hello.

[Caller]

Hi. Okay, well, the G shot was on Dr. 90210 about four years ago.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Caller]

Before I got really popular. And from what I got from it, it was just. It was from women that just couldn't get there. It doesn't matter what size their spouse was. It just. They just couldn't get there. So didn't popular for. I mean, it got popular. From that point on, I gotta believe

[Carl]

that women would jump on this grenade for their relationship, literally.

[Melissa]

You're really gonna say, jump on this grenade right now.

[Jen]

It's very sharp.

[Carl]

You're not gonna find a lot of women that are gonna say, he just couldn't find it or his penis was too small. So I think most women are gonna say, look, this is on me.

[Melissa]

Right?

[Carl]

This is not about you, baby. This is like, this is on me.

[Melissa]

No, we're gonna break up.

[Jen]

Mm.

[Interviewer]

Mm.

[Melissa]

I'm not getting no damn shot.

[Carl]

Hey, Nicole. Good morning. You are on the burp show.

[Jen]

Hi.

[Ashley]

Hi.

[Caller]

Hi. Stimulating the G spot has nothing to do with the size of a man's penis. You can stimulate it with your finger.

[Carl]

Well, maybe you ought to get the shot in the finger then. Maybe guys just have really small fingers. We found somebody that has it done.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Really? This is a very brave woman.

[Carl]

I will put her on the voice disguiser even though she's not requesting it. Good morning. I'll call you. Paula, you're on the voice disguise. Are you cool with that?

[Jen]

Hello?

[Listener/Caller]

She can't hear because her G spot is actually covering up her ears.

[Carl]

She doesn't know it's her because I've given her a different name and I've put her on the voice of Geiser and she's listening to the show right now.

[Ashley]

Hello?

[Carl]

Yes.

[Melissa]

Yes, it's you Go.

[Ashley]

Oh, it's me. I'm talking.

[Carl]

Oh, you just choked, man.

[Cassie]

What?

[Melissa]

She got embarrassed and hung Up.

[Carl]

Yeah, well, she didn't, I don't think, realized that I was gonna put her on the voice disguiser. Oh, yeah. I can't find anybody that's had it done. I don't know, ma'.

[Thumbtack Host]

Am.

[Carl]

I think that if the pain would be so great for just a short amount of time, I think the only way I can relate to this is that vasectomy that I had where the pain of the shot in the middle of the testicles was so bad for 30 seconds, but it's a blip on the screen when you're talking about not having kids for the rest of your life. So I gotta believe that it's almost similar that you'd rather have the pain of the shot right there, just for a couple of seconds, if you knew that you were gonna have months and months and months of the big O.

[Melissa]

I mean, women do a lot of things to enhance themselves. I mean, they go, you know, they go under the knife for everything. Under the knife for everything. So this would be like non, invasive, right? You wouldn't need to look invasive? Well, it is invasive, but you wouldn't have to have any sort of anesthesia.

[Jen]

Look, why don't you just damn date the doct? Because the doctor knows where it is and we're going to find it every single time.

[Melissa]

It's good advice.

[Caller]

I mean.

[Jen]

Hello.

[Carl]

Hey, how's it going?

[Interviewer]

Hey, Chris.

[Ashley]

Good morning.

[Carl]

You're on the bird show.

[Ashley]

Greetings. Good morning.

[Carl]

Good morning, man. How are you?

[Ashley]

Not too bad.

[Simon Cowell]

What's up?

[Ashley]

I was just thinking it's kind of crazy. Crazy if the girls are a little bit concerned about a small frick.

[Jen]

That's what got them in there. Right?

[Ashley]

But versus, you know, invasive surgery with breast augmentation.

[Carl]

Right. Or the pain.

[Ashley]

That's a heck of a recovery there.

[Melissa]

No kidding.

[Carl]

Yeah. Either way, it's gonna hurt.

[Listener/Caller]

Well, we lost Wendy.

[Jen]

Really?

[Carl]

He didn't even realize he made a joke.

[Listener/Caller]

Yes, he did. That guy's. He's a guy. That guy thought of that joke four minutes ago and has been dialing through and said, I'm not sure what I'm gonna say after this, but I'm gonna start out by saying, small prick.

[Jen]

It's funny.

[Melissa]

He's just so nonchalant.

[Carl]

Hey, Jessica.

[Brandon]

Good morning.

[Carl]

You're on the Burt show, huh?

[Caller]

Hi. Yes, I would be willing to try that shot.

[Carl]

Why?

[Caller]

Because I've never experienced the big O. And my husband is a total, like, sex fiend. And for me, it just is something that I do for him. And I would love to be able to achieve. I mean, we have a baby and everything, so after having a baby, that seems like nothing.

[Carl]

So now, did you ever have big O with anybody else?

[Caller]

No, I've never. Just been. I've never been able to achieve it that way.

[Carl]

And not by yourself either.

[Caller]

Nope.

[Melissa]

How old are you?

[Caller]

I'm 24.

[Carl]

24. Never?

[Caller]

Never.

[Carl]

That sucks.

[Caller]

It does.

[Carl]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

We'll have to talk off the air, honey.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Carl]

I mean, you almost sound desperate. Like, you. You want to experience this so badly that you're willing. What if I told you that the pain of this shot lasts for two straight minutes?

[Caller]

It wouldn't matter. I would do anything.

[Carl]

It takes five minutes. It takes five minutes of intense pain. Worst you've ever felt.

[Caller]

Okay, we'll put it this way. I weigh 88 pounds, and I pushed out at 10.2 pound, baby.

[Carvana Spokesperson]

Whoa.

[Listener/Caller]

Wow. How old are you?

[Carl]

She says she's 24.

[Listener/Caller]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Get you a cheeseburger.

[Jen]

All right.

[Carl]

Thank you for calling. Maybe she just.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Listener/Caller]

The problem with giving her some. She weighs 88 pounds. They give her too much of that Juvederm stuff. She's gonna tip right over forwards. Looks like she's leaning into the wind everywhere.

[Jen]

Image in yalls about what it looks like, people are gonna think she's cruising

[Carl]

around on a Segway all the time. Here is that news clip that we were talking about more just in the isolated part of the whole thing. This was. They were doing a news story on this very thing, and the news anchor that was sitting next to the reporter that was delivering the news about the G shot says this, and he doesn't even realize it at the time.

[Simon Cowell]

So she's enjoying penis a little bit more, is she?

[Melissa]

She is. She's enjoying her sex life a little bit more.

[Carl]

She and her husband Ashley can give us some answers about the G shot.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Carl]

Hey, Ashley. Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Ashley]

Hey, good morning.

[Carl]

Good morning.

[Ashley]

I've had it done. And we do it at our doctor's office also.

[Carl]

Okay.

[Jen]

Really?

[Carl]

Now you're on the voice disguiser, so I'm assuming you don't want me to ask you what doctor's office, or do you mind?

[Ashley]

That's fine if I can say it on the air.

[Carl]

Yeah, sure. You're on the air right now.

[Ashley]

We do it at Arista Medical Spa, right in Buckhead.

[Carl]

Okay. And you've had it done. So on a scale of 1 to 10, well, you can't. See you're not very credible because you're gonna have to say that it's not that painful because it's your office. That's the shot. Right.

[Ashley]

But I didn't actually have it done at my doctor's office. I had it done at a different location.

[Carl]

Okay.

[Ashley]

And they take the substance and mix it with lidocaine. So you don't feel it.

[Carl]

You don't feel the shot at all.

[Ashley]

It feels like a very minor, minor sting.

[Carl]

Really?

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Carl]

Jen's not lying.

[Melissa]

I want to ask her so many questions, like about the app, how they get it there.

[Carl]

The doctor you don't know that kind

[Ashley]

of uses a Q tip. And it almost feels like you have to go to the bathroom. And that's how they know where the spot is. And so they make a little mark and it takes two minutes, literally for them to put it in.

[Melissa]

So where do they poke you from?

[Ashley]

It's almost like you're going for an annual exam. Okay.

[Jen]

You're in the stirrups, right?

[Ashley]

Correct. Correct.

[Jen]

You have to be.

[Melissa]

Gotcha.

[Carl]

And how long does this last for?

[Ashley]

It lasts for up to a year and a half.

[Carl]

Oh, wow.

[Melissa]

And does it enhance your experience?

[Ashley]

Yes, it does. And I never had problems that. It's made it even better.

[Jen]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Carl]

So you were totally.

[Melissa]

So many more questions.

[Carl]

Well, go ahead. You got at least a couple, man.

[Melissa]

Well, I want to know, what do you mean by so much better?

[Ashley]

It just makes it over the top, more intense. And like my boyfriend has said that he can feel a difference.

[Carl]

He can feel a difference that you're enjoying that particular.

[Ashley]

Know that things are different. They're enlarged there.

[Carl]

Oh, he can literally feel that. Okay, Right on.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Ashley]

So it makes it better for the man too.

[Carl]

Yeah, Takes a lot of pressure off.

[Cassie]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Hey, how much does something like this cost?

[Ashley]

It can run anywhere from 700 to $850.

[Cassie]

Whoa.

[Interviewer]

Okay.

[Melissa]

That's an investment. Kidding.

[Carl]

Now, I got to believe that that price is probably going to go down once this sort of catches on and more offices are doing it. But now that you guys are one of the few that are doing it, you can charge that kind of cash and women are. They're desperate.

[Jen]

No, that last caller. I mean, I would be curious if our 24 year old listener went in and had it done and if she saw a difference.

[Ashley]

But you would be surprised how many doctors offices do it and they don't publicly advertise it.

[Carl]

Oh, really?

[Ashley]

Yes. But there's a lot of doctors offices. You'll find that there's OB GYNs and plastic surgeons that do it. And an OB is the best, of course, because they're familiar with the territory. So that's probably who you want doing it.

[Carl]

Okay, so the bottom line, if we were talking About G shot 101, the pain is minimal. You say your office visit is how long?

[Ashley]

Maybe five to ten minutes.

[Carl]

Five to ten minutes? It lasts for, in some cases, a year to a year and a half. And the cost on it is about 700 bucks.

[Jen]

Seven, $800.

[Carl]

Seven to $800. So that's G shot 101 right there. Ashley, thanks for calling.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Carl]

Appreciate it. Jenny's fascinating. Let's satisfy. Look in your face. My work is done here.

[Melissa]

I'm just fascinated by it. I mean, I would have never, ever thought of it.

[Carl]

Yeah, it's a great idea. I'm sure some dude came up with the ideas. There's got to be something.

[Brandon]

I'm.

[Carl]

There's got to be a way to make this easier. The target has got to be enlarged.

[Listener/Caller]

Get it?

[Cassie]

The Bird show this episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.

[Ashley]

All.

[Cassie]

I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted. Now you've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

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[Carl]

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[Carl]

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[Carl]

All right, so producer Carl with his Ike music

[Brandon]

look.

[Carl]

The braids do this a little bit.

[Brandon]

Nowadays.

[Carl]

They wear on you when a player comes up at the Braves game. They've got their own mic music. And I want to give proper credit to. I think it's Troy Gloss. The new Atlanta Brave is using Tricky by Run dmc. This is Ike music, right? Much love.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's real hot.

[Melissa]

I just want to hear the whole song.

[Listener/Caller]

Right?

[Melissa]

When they step up to the plate and they start playing it, I get all excited. I'm like, oh, could you just hold off on batting for a second? I want to hear some more of that.

[Carl]

So producer Carl here. I learned a little bit about his own blackness last week.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I was sitting there talking to. Now this is normal to me. And actually I found since the conversation that I've had with intern Brandon and producer Natalie, I found out that's really not rare. But speaking with them, they made it seem that it was rare to me. This is something I've been doing my whole life. During every summer, I try to get darker. I'm a dark skinned black man. But during every summer, I like to go out. Like I said, I don't tan. Don't get me wrong. Don't get it twisted, everybody. I don't go out tanning and tanning beds with tanning, canon solution, all that stuff.

[Listener/Caller]

But one of those mirrored things ain't that freaky.

[Carl]

It's a baby oil grease up.

[Ashley]

But.

[Brandon]

But I do go out when I'm outside and maybe cutting the grass or outside with my kids. I'm. I'm conscientious of that I'm getting darker, that I'm out in the sun, so I'm not hiding, I'm not ducking from the shade, anything like that.

[Carl]

It's making you feel better, though. Yeah, definitely.

[Brandon]

Definitely.

[Melissa]

And I'm not wearing sunscreen.

[Brandon]

Not at all.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Not at all. So what I'm really. When I found out that melanin was protecting, you know, when I was a kid, I found out that, you know, melanin, what makes your skin darker is a protect and things like that.

[Carl]

Melatonin.

[Jen]

Melatonin.

[Brandon]

Melatonin, exactly. It's a protectant. What I did

[Melissa]

is in your skin. Melatonin is the stuff that makes you sleep.

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

[Listener/Caller]

What if that is your.

[Simon Cowell]

I know.

[Brandon]

I know myself.

[Carvana Spokesperson]

Listen,

[Listener/Caller]

what if that's your sleeping problem

[Carl]

is that I'm taking too much melanin.

[Listener/Caller]

So much.

[Carl]

What have you been taking? Melatonin.

[Listener/Caller]

So you get darker and you just can't stay awake.

[Brandon]

But, yeah, so. So I go out and I conscientiously try to get darker during the summ. And, you know, it's not. It hasn't been like a big thing to me. We were just sitting around kicking the Willie Bobo, me and intern Brandon and Natalie, and they come to find out they looked at me like, what? You get darker? You try to get darker? I'm like, yeah, you know, I want to darken up a little bit. The black of the berry baby.

[Ashley]

Sweeter the juice.

[Jen]

Seen that movie.

[Ad Announcer]

But.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but like I said, since then, they don't. They think it's off. But I've asked a few other black people around, and they said, yeah, they do the same thing. So I didn't know that.

[Jen]

I mean, I didn't know that you would purposely go out and try to get dark.

[Carl]

I have no idea either, really.

[Melissa]

Do most black. Black people want to get darker or do they want to stay lighter?

[Brandon]

You know what? I had a call. I mean, a listener. She sent me an email saying I don't represent the whole black race. Well, listen, let me. Let me represent myself. Yes.

[Carl]

Yes. Yeah. Carl's in a tough spot when he comes in here to do, like, ask a raise, and he's supposed to ask for an entire community of black people. That's all over there.

[Brandon]

It's tough trying to represent the whole race.

[Carl]

Right? Here's Shawna Good morning, Shawna. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Caller]

Hey. I was just calling because I remember my grandmother always told me, do not go outside and become a tar baby. So that has kind of been in my mind. And I always put sunblock. If I can get Sunblock 1000, I will put that all over my face, body, anything that exposed to the sun. Because, yeah, I just grew up that it was not a really good idea to get extra black in the summer.

[Carl]

And she said, you'll become a what?

[Caller]

A tar baby.

[Brandon]

What's that?

[Caller]

You know, that's old people. And that's, you know how they said it's.

[Jen]

It's not a good term.

[Brandon]

Oh, boy.

[Carl]

Yeah, that's.

[Brandon]

That's very, very, very derogatory, baby.

[Caller]

Well, I completely understand, but that, I mean, that's kind of the perception of just older caramel skinned black folks and that, you know, what I grew up with. So that just precipitates, even today, that I don't go outside in the sun without making sure I keep sunblock in my purse, in the car, everywhere.

[Jen]

Right.

[Melissa]

Can I ask a somewhat maybe ignorant question?

[Brandon]

Sure.

[Melissa]

Do black folks get skin cancer less than white folks? Does the melanin in your skin protect you from skin cancer?

[Brandon]

From what I understand, yes. I haven't heard of too many black people with skin. Of course they're out there, y'.

[Carvana Spokesperson]

All.

[Brandon]

But I don't hear. It's not a common thing in my comment, my type of conversation with people

[Melissa]

I hang around with, because it's. I mean, it's certainly common for lighter skinned people. I mean, for me, I go to the dermatologist once a year. I've had to have like, you know, sunspots and stuff removed. Like they're. I mean, they're like saying wear 70 every single day and all that kind of stuff. I just wondered if you're.

[Carl]

I just got one cut out.

[Melissa]

If it protects your skin.

[Brandon]

Really? Yeah, yeah, it definitely protects your skin. Melanin definitely protects your skin. Definitely. And actually, you know, the color, like, of maybe some people's gum, that's the darkness of the gum. That's melanin. Also the gum, the lips. That's all melanin.

[Carl]

Good morning, Natalie. You're on the Burt show, huh?

[Caller]

Yes, I tan.

[Carvana Spokesperson]

You do?

[Caller]

I'm spending the money to go on a vacation. I'm going to lay out in the sun. I'm going to enjoy where I am and I'm going to tan. I love getting just that nice crisp darkness.

[Brandon]

Me, too. Exactly. And that's exactly what I'm looking for.

[Carl]

You feel like you look healthier when you're even darker than your black skin?

[Caller]

Yes. It's almost like my skin tone is more even and I don't know, I feel good when I'm darker.

[Brandon]

I just like the golden darkness of it.

[Carl]

Are you Natalie? Are you a light skinned black woman? Are you? Because Carl's pretty dark dude.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm dark. I would just consider dark skin.

[Caller]

I'm a caramel black.

[Brandon]

Okay, Caramel black. Okay.

[Carl]

Because I could see that. But with your skin color is dark. I would never have. Yeah, but I can see you've been wearing some sunglasses right now.

[Brandon]

You know, I don't wear the sunglasses because I don't want to have that, that, you know, that tan look.

[Carl]

Hey, Sarah, Good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Caller]

Good morning.

[Cassie]

Good morning.

[Caller]

I just wanted to say I'm a light skinned black woman and I have darker brothers and sisters and I've always envied darker black skin, black people. So every summer I make sure I go out and tan. Well, not necessarily tan, but get that caramel color to my skin. I just think it's beautiful. That's what I love about summertime. And getting dark.

[Brandon]

Exactly.

[Jen]

I don't know. Well, I feel ignorant because I never thought about it.

[Brandon]

And it's funny because it's like a pride of honor outside one day and I tend real easy. I get dark just in the summertime. Just recognize me one day when I come in here because I'll go outside.

[Listener/Caller]

You are looking black today.

[Brandon]

Right. Real nice and common round. But I'll tan and I'll go inside the house and then I'll look at myself in the mirror and like, okay, yeah, it's nice now, but it's good to hear other people out there doing that because I didn't realize that it was, you know, I was the only one.

[Jen]

Carl, thing.

[Carl]

Yeah, exactly. Jen, you asked the question about skin cancer. Good morning, Jennifer. You're on the Burt show.

[Caller]

Hi, good morning. I was gonna answer your question. A friend of mine, she lost a friend to skin cancer and she was black. So just to answer your question, yes.

[Carl]

So it can. It can happen. I would wonder what the percentages are, but it's just.

[Melissa]

Well, I just wonder what the science behind it is. Does the melanin protect you from the sun or does it not? Or you have a higher tolerance for it. Or not. I don't know.

[Carl]

I can't speak to that because I still think it's melatonin.

[Jen]

Right.

[Melissa]

You still think it's what you need

[Carl]

to take to go to sleep and saying melatonin.

[Listener/Caller]

Still striving to get to a pasty Carl.

[Brandon]

A real bright type of dark type of car, right?

[Carl]

All right, thanks, dude.

[Brandon]

All right, y'.

[Ad Announcer]

All, this is the Bird show.

[Cassie]

This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'. All, I took a look at my closet the other day, like, truly looked at it, and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now you've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[Tiffany Stratton]

Hey, y', all, it's Tiffany Stratton from WWE Smackdown.

[Carl]

And I'm Drew McIntyre. So, Tiff, what's the Tiffany's epiphany for the day?

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[Brandon]

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[Carl]

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[Carl]

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[Carl]

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[Cassie]

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[Carl]

It's the vert show. All right, so let's talk about Simon Cowell here for a second. Because this dude, I'm telling you, one of the reasons why American Idol is gonna take such a hit is because he's so polarizing. You love him or you hate him, but he really is. He's an interesting dude. He's a very, very, very interesting guy. At the base of it all, he's so honest that you're intrigued by everything he says, even with himself. So he finds himself on Oprah the other day, and he's just giving it up, right?

[Melissa]

Yeah. This is yesterday. He was talking about his decision to leave American Idol.

[Interviewer]

So tell me, everybody wants to know, why are you leaving?

[Simon Cowell]

Probably for the same reasons you left. You just know it's time, time. Time's up. And I remember the first year when we did this, and it was like an adventure, and I loved that. Not knowing if it was going to be successful and the buzz. We were kind of making it up every week. And I liked the kind of the adventure, and it was fun. And then you get to a point, and for whatever reason, two years ago, I remember sitting in the auditions one day and I thought, I think this is about as far as we can go. And I've always promised myself that I'd leave before I was forced to go. It feels like the right thing to do.

[Melissa]

So he has taken off next season.

[Carl]

I completely. I respect him for that. I really do. Like, if his heart's not into it, you're making all that money. I bet it would be real easy just to sell out and just say, look, I'll just. I'll phone it in. I mean, how hard is this? I'm making. What is he making? 20 million a year.

[Listener/Caller]

Keep cashing the checks.

[Carl]

Keep cashing the check. Go in there. But his heart's not into it. It's not driving him anymore. And he's rich enough now where he can take chances like this.

[Melissa]

And he's got another show to go to.

[Carl]

He's got another show to go to.

[Melissa]

It's not like he's not going to

[Carl]

be working that will challenge him. You know, I mean, I think at the end of the day, I mean, you have to challenge yourself or you get bored, and you might as well not be doing the work that you're doing.

[Melissa]

Mm, agreed.

[Carl]

It's very challenging for this show here. We've been doing this now for nine years, and there are some days we come in here, and I just feel like it's a formula, and on those days, I'm bored. So it's very, very, very difficult to keep it challenging here. Simon is saying, that's it for me. It's not challenging anymore. It's time to move on.

[Melissa]

Well, he was also asked about Paula Abdul and her leaving. Did that affect the ratings?

[Interviewer]

You know, there's all this talk about it slipping in the ratings. Do you think you're leaving has something to do with that, do you think? What do you think?

[Simon Cowell]

Well, I hope they'd go up, but look, I'd be lying if I said that I like numbers when they go down. I mean, even if you.

[Interviewer]

Nobody does.

[Simon Cowell]

I just don't like it.

[Interviewer]

Do you think Paula Abdul leaving had something to do with that?

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah, I do, actually. Yeah. Yeah. I think we had a great team. She had her own decision, her own reasons for doing what she did, and I've stayed in contact with her a lot. But Paula, I was saying this about her the other day. She's a survivor, Paula. She's got great instincts. So for whatever reason, she decided not to go back. She'll come back on top. I'm absolutely convinced of that.

[Melissa]

She'll come back on top on my show.

[Listener/Caller]

Right.

[Melissa]

Which is where we're gonna see her next. And then who's gonna replace Simon?

[Simon Cowell]

And then everyone starts getting a bit paranoid about who my replacement is.

[Carl]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Interviewer]

Who do you think that.

[Simon Cowell]

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I remember we were arguing or whatever, kidding around on the panel, and there were only about five people left. And I remember suddenly thinking at that point, I think it's too much about the judges at the moment, and we've forgotten what the contestants are going through. So to answer your question, I think primarily you've got to have somebody on that panel who actually knows what they're talking about, because everyone is talking about casting the nasty person or this person or get another Brit in.

[Interviewer]

And it's not about personalities. It's about who know how to pick talent. That's what you're saying, 100%, right? Yes. Yes.

[Simon Cowell]

And, you know, if we were judging, you know, the ice skating Olympics, I mean, you wouldn't have Somebody on there who's obnoxious, you'd have somebody who knows the difference between a 10, a 9 and an 8. And I think to a point you've kind of got to go back to that.

[Interviewer]

And do you think that that's what you brought more so than anything?

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah. I mean, I had obviously a lot of controversy over the years because of just the way I am, but I'm kind of like that in real life. But within it all, I do trust my judgment as somebody who can spot a potential star.

[Melissa]

So after talking about Idol for a while, of course they've got to go into his personal life and his personal issues. He's now engaged to be married. He says he's really difficult to live with because he has major mood swings and he says he wouldn't want to be his girlfriend.

[Simon Cowell]

I think what can happen is, is that your work can become like a girlfriend. Because I think it's very difficult for anyone because for instance, tonight I will start viewing tapes at say 10 o' clock at night. I'll then from half past 12:1 in the morning, start phoning London and I'll have these conversations for maybe three, four and a half hours. So I'll finish at half past four in the morning. But that entire time, that six hour period, my mind is completely on what I have to do. And that happens five or six nights a week. And I think that's difficult for someone to deal with. Yeah, it would drive me mad.

[Interviewer]

By the way, you couldn't be your own girlfriend?

[Simon Cowell]

Oh my God, no, actually, no, I could.

[Interviewer]

Actually, no. Could you?

[Simon Cowell]

No, I couldn't. No, I couldn't. Because what I think you couldn't deal

[Interviewer]

with you if you were a partner. With you? Never, Never, never.

[Melissa]

He is really honest about himself.

[Jen]

You're right.

[Melissa]

And then what about children? Is he gonna have kids?

[Interviewer]

Do you want kids?

[Simon Cowell]

Um, well, you know, one. I worry about that because of my age.

[Interviewer]

You're 50.

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah, but I'd like, you know, when I was younger, you know, my dad used to play soccer and, you know, games with me. And I worry that if I was 70, that worries me a little bit.

[Interviewer]

No, but you're strong, you're fit, you're healthy. 50 is the new 40. I mean, your 50 isn't what your dad's 50 was. We all know that.

[Listener/Caller]

He's talking em into it.

[Simon Cowell]

That's true, that's true.

[Interviewer]

Do you have the patience, do you have the ability to sacrifice to be the kind of father that you would want to be? Do you have that if they could

[Simon Cowell]

be born at the age of five, maybe that will happen. I'd quite like that because I like them at that age.

[Interviewer]

You like them at five?

[Simon Cowell]

Yeah, I like them when they can talk and understand.

[Interviewer]

Well, they start talking a little earlier than that. Yeah.

[Simon Cowell]

But they've got no idea what's going on. I'm not sure I could deal with the whole guy gaga goo goo. But I do like kids when I can talk to them. I mean genuinely like them and then just drop them.

[Carl]

I love that, that you love kids.

[Melissa]

Get them at 5.

[Cassie]

Get them at 5 years old where they're just ready to go to school.

[Listener/Caller]

Oprah is a much better interviewer. When you take her off her set, she doesn't scream and repeat.

[Jen]

Right.

[Melissa]

She repeats. She just doesn't scream it.

[Listener/Caller]

Yeah, but it's not like full sentence repeating. It's just select words. Would you like children? And did you hear her actually use his accent?

[Simon Cowell]

One,

[Carl]

one sidebar. A pet peeve of mine is when this age is the new. This age that drives me crazy. 50 is the new 40. I hear 40 year olds saying that because you are what you are and 40. You only hear a 40 year old or someone in their 40s say that's the new 30. And people in their 30s say that's the new 20. And people in their 60s say that that's the new 50. No, it's not. You're still 60. It's not new.

[Melissa]

I would agree with that. I would say that about like my parents, like, I would say like they're in their 60s, but I would say they act like they're 50. So I would say 60 is the new 50.

[Cassie]

The only thing that I agree with.

[Carl]

If you're 60, you would definitely say that.

[Jen]

Yeah. The only thing I agree with her is that his father at 50 is certainly not the same as Simon.

[Tiffany Stratton]

50.

[Jen]

I will agree that it, you know, aging is different, but yeah, I never. I know I'm 40.

[Carl]

40 is the new 40 for me.

[Jen]

40 is 40.

[Listener/Caller]

40. 40 is the new 68, 72, something like that.

[Carl]

It was a, it's an interesting interview assignment and he really gives great insight there.

[Melissa]

You know, I want to read his book now that Jeff was talking about that earlier.

[Listener/Caller]

I'll bring it in or get it on your Kindle. But I have, I've read, actually read it a couple times. It's a cool book. Yeah.

[Ad Announcer]

Here bir show.

[Cassie]

This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie and this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.

[Jen]

All.

[Cassie]

I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never, ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet, and I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.

[Ad Announcer]

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[Carl]

You know what they forgot to put in that ad right there for the Gold Room.

[Melissa]

What's that?

[Carl]

Is that you have volunteered to give out those recycle shots that we were talking about yesterday?

[Melissa]

No, definitely not. Swishing any vodka in my mouth and then serving it up to the next person.

[Carl]

There's more to it than that. You also get to Slap them in the face.

[Melissa]

I mean, I'll do that just for fun.

[Carl]

There is a. There's a bar in Miami that is serving what they're calling the recycle shot. And what you're supposed to is the.

[Ashley]

You.

[Carl]

You call your shot vodka, tequila, whatever it is, right? The.

[Jen]

That's just so gross.

[Carl]

It's so stupid. I love it. It's so stupid. The bartender who's a hottie, either dude or a girl takes the shot, doesn't swallow it, just swirls it around in her or his mouth. I don't know. I get so tickled by this, man. It's just so stupid. And then you spit it back into the shot glass. Then the customer downs the shot. Gross. And then gets a slap across the face by the bartender.

[Melissa]

The shot is warm. Gross.

[Jen]

This is gross.

[Melissa]

I want a just shot.

[Listener/Caller]

Do you think? I mean, the slap is just pointless with the recycled. Like, should we put all of our names in the hat and just draw two of them?

[Carl]

And those two people have to do the recycle shot?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Good luck.

[Melissa]

All the names in the hat are in Burton Jackson.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Carl]

Melissa's so over bets on this show after the morph suit.

[Jen]

Bet I pulled it off, but I'm not doing a recycled shot.

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