Co-host/Commentator (1:52)

For her.

Valerie Cheatham (1:52)

Good for her for doing that.

Co-host/Commentator (1:54)

Absolutely.

Jeff Dollar (1:56)

What do you think, Jeff?

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (1:57)

I just. I. Fascinating.

Jeff Dollar (1:59)

Speaks for itself, huh?

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (2:00)

Yeah, same thing. I emailed you before. I'll never shop at that store again.

Jeff Dollar (2:03)

Yeah.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (2:04)

Neiman Marcus.

Co-host/Commentator (2:04)

Because Ramona.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (2:06)

Any of them.

Co-host/Commentator (2:06)

Because Ramona Lindsay. That's the name of the woman who. The dog owner.

Caller/Listener (2:10)

She.

Co-host/Commentator (2:10)

She enjoys that car more than she enjoys her. Like, she's upset about her $80,000 car, and she's got two lives in the car that she put at risk.

Animal Welfare Expert (2:17)

Now, she said she was in there from 15 to 40 minutes. And I'm a member of the Humane Society, and I have these little stat.

Jeff Dollar (2:23)

You here, she's ready to go.

Animal Welfare Expert (2:25)

On an 85 degree day, okay, just 85 now, it was hotter than that. In 10 minutes, the temperature in a car climbs to 102 degrees. In 20 minutes, the temperature climbs to 120 degrees. On an 85 degree day, she was in there between 15 and 40 minutes. That causes brain damage, death, ruptured blood vessels. I mean, it can kill your dog. And there was actually an arrest made not two weeks ago for another person who had locked dogs in their car. It just hit. It's the worst thing to do. And I would have done, say I would have broken window, though.

Jeff Dollar (2:54)

Now she's saying, she's saying that, well, my sunroof was open, so they were getting air. Everything was fine.

Animal Welfare Expert (2:59)

Yeah, there's not circulation.

Jeff Dollar (3:02)

Well, Valerie Cheatham was the assistant manager at Neiman Marcus in Buckhead. And like she says during the 11Alive clip there, she was there for 10 years of service, and she's the employee that got fired. And Valerie's on with us right now. Hey, Valerie.

Jessica (3:15)

Hi.

Narrator/Reporter (3:16)

Good morning.

Jeff Dollar (3:16)

How are you today?

Valerie Cheatham (3:17)

Fine, thank you.

Jeff Dollar (3:19)

I mean, shocked. Like, how did this all go down? After Ramona obviously got upset that you climbed on her car, she goes back in and talks to your manager and tell us about that conversation.

Valerie Cheatham (3:30)

Well, what happened was that after she was yelling at me, told me to get off the car, there was a bit more confrontation. She said she wanted to smack me in the face, but she didn't want to be arrested. She knocked the water out of my hand, said, get your GD water out of here. Said she was going to call the police. And at that moment, I realized the police would be a good idea. And I knew that there was a police officer who was there watching what happened because she worked security for us but could not leave her post. So I wanted to get the police also. So that's when I said, come on, let's go inside. And when we walked inside, that's when I tried to drop into the background and she started yelling and screaming at the officer.

Co-host/Commentator (4:20)

I'm curious, did it say in that clip what kind of dogs these were? I mean, I'm assuming.

Jeff Dollar (4:24)

Can I guess?

Co-host/Commentator (4:25)

Like, little? Yeah, I'm assuming because I make just.

Jeff Dollar (4:27)

This side of a ferret dog.

Co-host/Commentator (4:28)

Yeah. Cause I make a conscious effort not to take my big golden retriever in my car in the summertime there's. I mean, he is so wanting a car ride and I can't give it to him because I'm a responsible pet owner. Ramona Lindsay's dogs.

Valerie Cheatham (4:44)

How I hate to disappoint you. One was a standard poodle. The other one actually I never saw. I just had an impression of a smaller white dog. But the standard poodle was the one that got out of the car twice and tried to come into the store.

Co-host/Commentator (5:01)

Really? Yeah. Just wanted the air conditioning.

Valerie Cheatham (5:03)

I don't know.

Jeff Dollar (5:05)

404-741-1005 so let me just set the scene here again. You're inside the store and somebody comes into you and complains about this car. You don't know who Ramona Lindsay is at that point?

Valerie Cheatham (5:17)

No, I was walking back into my department when to the co workers and the police officer were pointing out the door, which is glass. And to say that there were the two dogs locked in the parking lot. I did not realize this was even Animan Marcus client because she was in the common parking lot. She could have been in any of 200 stores.

Co-host/Commentator (5:40)

What?

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (5:43)

You don't know what time of day. Remember what time of day it was and what the temperature was about?

Valerie Cheatham (5:47)

Yeah, it was about o' clock in the afternoon. And I did look online after all this happened and at that time it was 89 degrees.

Jeff Dollar (5:56)

89 degrees at that point. So I'm really interested in the response from Neiman Marcus. So this woman complains because you walked on her car. I'm assuming you took your shoes off.

Co-host/Commentator (6:06)

I did.

Jeff Dollar (6:07)

All right, so you get on the hood of her car and you have what, a bowl of water in hand to give to the dogs. Inside the car I have a little.

Valerie Cheatham (6:13)

Plastic bowl and a plastic bottle of water. And I had been on there for about two seconds because I didn't even have time to get up to the sunroof, which, interesting enough, she complained that there were scratches on her sunroof which was open.

Human Resources Professional (6:30)

Right.

Co-host/Commentator (6:31)

You didn't even make it the dogs.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (6:33)

But that you never touched.

Valerie Cheatham (6:34)

I never touched.

Co-host/Commentator (6:35)

Right.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (6:35)

What was the reason for your dismissal?

Valerie Cheatham (6:38)

They said inappropriate behavior. I was told that Neiman Marcus position was that I should have gone through proper channels. That is calling mall security, which that's what I was doing with the phone number for animal control. I did find out, however, after all this happened and I was terminated. I got a copy of the police report that said that the officer who took the report had had several complaints also and had called mall security. And mall security went out, saw that the sunroof was open and said little dogs are okay. But my question is, what kind of training do mall security personnel or even police officers have on animal welfare? Because there are beginning and intermediate feature threats and a dog should not have to be comatose before someone decides it's too late.

Jeff Dollar (7:38)

Val, I'm not saying that this is right. This is just, it seems like an obvious question. Do you know the spending history of Ramona at Neiman Marcus?

Valerie Cheatham (7:45)

Not at all. And I don't think that should be an issue. One thing that I'm afraid that people are going to lose focus on this. Because for me, this whole thing is not about me. It's not about her. I want people just to think about the animals that we share our lives with and that we should put. I think we should put their needs before ours.

Co-host/Commentator (8:10)

Well, you know, part of me wonders if people should ask the question, even though I'm not sure if people who would leave their animals in a hot car would be able to determine, but I'm hoping they will. Like, would you leave your baby in that car? You know, if you say no, then you can't leave another life in that car. It is still alive. You know, and then you can't use.

Jeff Dollar (8:26)

The answer that I love my. I love my pets. They're in the car with me all the time.

Valerie Cheatham (8:31)

Well, the one thing that was in my mind, this whole thing was, I don't know if you remember two years ago, the little three year old who was left in a car about a block away from Margulis.

Jeff Dollar (8:40)

Of course.

Valerie Cheatham (8:41)

And she was not on the top deck where there was no sun. She was even in, you know, in the lower parking deck where there was shade and was checked on several times during the day by her mother and she died.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (8:54)

Well, see, to me, that's. I mean, all the stuff leading up to it, like, that's all irrelevant. Like the dogs being left in the car. It's just a situation. Like, I'm more upset that you have lost your job.

Co-host/Commentator (9:06)

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (9:07)

Because regardless of whether it's dogs in a car or a lost child or a shoplifter or, you know, a man, you know, hitting a small child or, you know, woman or whatever, you attempted to intervene on something for the better good. And rather than praising you for going above and beyond the call of duty to be, I mean, you know, I.

Jeff Dollar (9:32)

Mean, my assumption, My assumption is this woman spends 30, 40, $50,000 at Neiman Marcus every year. My assumption, she's driving around in an $80,000 car. She's driving around with the dogs in the car. That's just my assumption. I may be totally out of line, but maybe Neiman Marcus takes a look at that and says, well, this woman is a big spender here. I mean, it's gonna be easier for us to lose an employee than it is $50,000 spender.

Co-host/Commentator (9:56)

I mean, I'm angry that they fired her. And I'm also angry at Ramona Lindsay. I'm saying her last name so that her friends know exactly what she did, that she didn't take responsibility for her actions. You know, this is. Goes into play with that. Like you, she is someone who's obviously. I don't know. You have to take responsibility for your actions, even if you're embarrassed. If you've done something wrong, then don't. Now, a woman has lost her job because Ramona got embarrassed.

Jeff Dollar (10:20)

Before we jump to conclusions about things, we do have Ramona's phone number. So we should at least try to get her on to tell her side of the story. You want to try to get her on? Mm. Hold on one second, Valerie.

Valerie Cheatham (10:31)

Okay, sure.

Jeff Dollar (10:33)

Have you talked to her yet, face to face?

Valerie Cheatham (10:34)

Oh, no, no.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (10:35)

Just since she did the attempted slap, slap, slap.

Caller/Listener (10:39)

Valerie, do you have any recourse with your former employer?

Valerie Cheatham (10:44)

I don't know, and that's really not something that I want to concentrate on now. To concentrate on me and becoming gainfully employed again.

Caller/Listener (10:53)

Right.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (10:53)

I'm sure you won't have any problem finding a job. How long did you work there?

Valerie Cheatham (10:57)

It would have been nine. It was nine years back in March.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (11:00)

Is this Ramona?

Jeff Dollar (11:00)

Hold on one sec.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (11:01)

Hi, Ramona. It's Jeff Dollar with the Birch Show, Q100 radio. I'm wondering if we could talk on the air for just a second. Talk to you? Jeff Dollar with the bird show at Q100 radio. The story that was on 11 Alive. What's your attorney's name? I have to call her back. She hung up. Got disconnected.

Jeff Dollar (11:24)

Oh, she must have. Beth, that cell phone. You think so? She won't. Come on. What'd she say? Call my attorney.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (11:30)

Yeah, but she's got to tell me our attorney's name before I do that.

Jeff Dollar (11:32)

It's that Nugent dude. Hold on. The phone calls are starting to come in.

Caller/Listener (11:37)

I don't think that he would take her case.

Narrator/Reporter (11:39)

Right.

Jeff Dollar (11:39)

Even I can't help you. One call doesn't do it all here.

Animal Welfare Expert (11:42)

Sorry.

Caller/Listener (11:43)

Sorry. You locked your dogs in the car.

Jeff Dollar (11:45)

Hey, Terry, you're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

Narrator/Reporter (11:48)

Hey.

Human Resources Professional (11:49)

Hi, everyone.

Jeff Dollar (11:49)

Hi.

Human Resources Professional (11:50)

I'M just curious. I'm a dog owner and I'm a human resources manager. And I'm just curious to know, what grounds did they terminate you on? I mean, what did they say when they terminated you for?

Valerie Cheatham (12:00)

That it was coded as inappropriate behavior?

Human Resources Professional (12:05)

Well, I would sue them for wrongful termination. I mean, clearly there was a reason why you went out to, you know, the car and, you know, if there was no damage to the car, I just can't believe that they would fire you over something like that. I mean, so it's so clear that you were trying to help. And I think somebody said it earlier, people are so selfish when it comes to their pets. You know, it's all about them. I love my dog, so I'm going to take my dog and leave them in a, you know, 105 degree car. It's just ridiculous. And if I were you, the advice I would give you as a human resources professional, I would sue them for wrongful termination. I mean, clearly there were witnesses there that saw that the dogs were in the car. They weren't properly ventilated. It was hot. And I would sue them for wrongful termination.

Jeff Dollar (12:58)

Didn't Jessica come in here one day and tell us that it was actually okay for you to bring dogs in the Neiman Marcus?

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (13:03)

No, I think that's Bloomingdale's, which, by the way, is a much better store than Neiman Marcus.

Valerie Cheatham (13:09)

Neiman Marcus is dog friendly. We have customers, had customers that would regularly bring in their smaller dogs in the carriers and. And those dogs had fun because they would come out and the sales associates and would all play with them and they had attention.

Jeff Dollar (13:26)

So she could have brought the dogs in the store and nobody would have kicked her out for that. Especially if she's spending money. A big spender. Yeah.

Co-host/Commentator (13:33)

Now, Valor, I'm curious, do you think this is also a case of the squeaky wheel gets the oil? Because you said once you got back into the store, and I'm not justifying it, I'm just curious, you got back into the store and you said you kind of at that point wanted to, you know, lay low. And it was Ramona Lindsey who made the biggest stink as soon as she got in the store. And they just kind of, you know, caved to her.

Valerie Cheatham (13:54)

Well, once I walked into the store, I realized, you know, now I am on Neiman Marcus property as an employee. So I just sort of sidled behind the police officer and didn't say another word to her, even though she was calling me names. She even said, I hope you're somebody because I'm going to have your job.

Animal Welfare Expert (14:11)

You can so get such a good visual of what exactly transpired when you walked in this store. You just see this woman up in arms screaming, you're kind of like, it wasn't me.

Caller/Listener (14:22)

Leave me alone.

Valerie Cheatham (14:23)

Like, I'm not happening. And where's my office?

Co-host/Commentator (14:26)

Now, that's an inappropriate time, Jen. When Ramona Lindsay pitched a fit that she should not have pitched a fit, right?

Animal Welfare Expert (14:31)

Ramona Lindsay.

Co-host/Commentator (14:31)

You're talking about Ramona Lindsay?

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (14:33)

Okay, we. I just called her, and the first time she said, you need to speak to my attorney, and then hung up on me. And I called back and she won't give me her attorney's name. And then the third time I called, she just won't answer. Okay, So I don't think she has an attorney. I think she.

Co-host/Commentator (14:47)

I don't think you're anybody, though. That's why she didn't.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (14:50)

I don't think she has an attorney.

Valerie Cheatham (14:51)

I wanted to tell her she could have my job, but then she wouldn't.

Jessica (14:54)

Be able to afford the $80,000 home.

Jeff Dollar (14:57)

Did you call her up, Jeff, and tell her that you're the guy that does the stuff at the Braves games in between innings? Does she know?

Host (15:03)

I don't.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (15:03)

Yeah, I think she's actually been the drill in the tool race before.

Jeff Dollar (15:07)

Hey, Jennifer.

Jessica (15:08)

Yes.

Jeff Dollar (15:09)

Hi.

Animal Welfare Expert (15:10)

Hi.

Human Resources Professional (15:10)

How are you guys?

Jeff Dollar (15:11)

Good, thank you.

Human Resources Professional (15:11)

Well, I am a regional recruiter for limited brands, and we actually are dog lovers, and I love to talk to her about an opportunity to come work for us.

Jeff Dollar (15:20)

Valerie, is this kind of job that you're looking for?

Human Resources Professional (15:23)

I'm sorry?

Jeff Dollar (15:24)

Is this the kind of job that you're looking for?

Valerie Cheatham (15:26)

You know, it could be. I'm not so sure I want retail again.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (15:32)

Well, I think the limited customers are much less high maintenance than the even customers.

Co-host/Commentator (15:37)

Yeah.

Valerie Cheatham (15:37)

But I would like to talk to you.

Human Resources Professional (15:39)

Well, I'd love to give you my information because we actually represent the Limited Express, Victoria's Secret and Bath and Body Works, and I handle all the store managers and above positions. So I'd love to talk to her if they're in touch.

Jeff Dollar (15:49)

All I heard was Victoria's Secret. Hold on.

Animal Welfare Expert (15:52)

Can we get a gift card for theirs?

Jeff Dollar (15:55)

Valerie, a whole bunch of people are calling up and actually offering you jobs. And like Jeff said, we knew this would happen.

Caller/Listener (16:02)

Well, and I. I'm so glad everybody's being so generous with offering Valerie jobs, but I also think that the loudest voice you can have is not shopping at Neiman Marcus. I Mean, that's what we always talk about is that, you know, taking a stand.

Co-host/Commentator (16:14)

Absolutely.

Caller/Listener (16:15)

I mean, your money is where it's going to hurt them the most.

Co-host/Commentator (16:17)

Because that's why I say Ramona Lindsay's name. I mean, get mad at me for keeping saying her name, but she's the one that put the dogs in her car, and she's the one that took this woman's job. And Neiman Marcus is the one that allowed her to come into the store, badmouth their employee, put these dogs, lives in danger that their employee was trying to be a hero about, and let her go. So absolutely take action.

Jeff Dollar (16:35)

When 11Alive called Neiman Marcus, a corporate spokesperson says they don't comment on personal issues or personnel issues. There you go, Valerie, if Neiman Marcus came back to you tomorrow and said, oof, boy, did we screw things up. We handle things totally incorrectly there. Why don't you come on back, we'll give you another $10,000, would you take your job back at Neiman Marcus?

Valerie Cheatham (16:55)

Not after I had the heart attack.

Jeff Dollar (16:58)

You don't think they call?

Valerie Cheatham (16:59)

I don't think they call.

Animal Welfare Expert (17:00)

You think there's no chance.

Jeff Dollar (17:02)

So no way, nothing they could do to make it right for you?

Valerie Cheatham (17:06)

It's not that.

Animal Welfare Expert (17:09)

Maybe they could pay for some public service announcements about not leaving dogs in hot cars.

Valerie Cheatham (17:14)

Maybe a nice donation to the Home Pet Foundation.

Animal Welfare Expert (17:17)

There you go.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (17:18)

I think in regardless of that, I mean, they made a wrong decision, and I don't see any reason for anyone to shop there. Like. Well, you know why?

Jeff Dollar (17:26)

Like Jenna's saying, the only way that you really get to protest in a place like this, unless you're going out there with signs, is just not work. I mean, it's just not shop there.

Co-host/Commentator (17:33)

I mean, this is a. This is a country of money, and they let money speak to them when they made their decision. They, you know, like Bert had said, we are insinuating, but that Ramona Lindsay was a regular there, probably spent a lot of money there, and Neiman Marcus took her side. So money speaks. So, you know, don't shop there.

Jeff Dollar (17:51)

All right, Valerie, we'd love to keep in touch with you, and we want to get your email address and phone number, too, because there's a whole bunch of people that really want to help you out in this whole thing.

Valerie Cheatham (17:59)

Well, thank you so much for calling me. I appreciate it.

Jeff Dollar (18:01)

All right. Thank you for coming on with us. Sure. Appreciate it also. Bye now.

Host (18:05)

The Bird Show.

Jeff Dollar (18:10)

So I got a question for y'. All. Actually, it's for the listeners, because you Guys can help me out with this? Not even a little bit. So Stacy and I have been talking about having a second child.

Co-host/Commentator (18:19)

Right.

Jeff Dollar (18:19)

We're in negotiations right now. All right. She's a little bit. No, she's not. A little bit more on the fence about it. I want to have a second child. And Stacy really is like, you know, she just hated being pregnant, and it was a tough pregnancy, and Hayden came six weeks early, so we had to leave the hospital without him. It was just a. God, for lack of a better term, it was just a bitch of a time. It really was. And she never felt comfortable. She got the gestational diabetes, and I could point to a hundred different things that just made her really uncomfortable during her pregnancy, you know, so she's not real eager to go through the whole thing again. Well, Hayden is now almost three years old, and I am just looking at this angel, and everything he does to me is just so fun and so funny, and I have found more love in my heart than over the last two and a half years than I even knew I had in me, you know? And every time he does something really cool or we have a moment, I say to Stacy, how can we not want to do this again? This is so awesome. So we've been talking to a lot of our friends that have children and have more than one child, and the thing that we keep hearing is this one stereotypical comment that they don't.

Narrator/Reporter (19:32)

They.

Jeff Dollar (19:34)

They would never say that they have regretted having the second child, but they think they would have said that they regretted not having it.

Co-host/Commentator (19:42)

Okay.

Jeff Dollar (19:43)

Know what I'm saying? So they're looking into their future, and they say, look, when I'm 65 years old or I have never met somebody that's 65 or 70 years old that says, I totally regret having that second child. But I have met people that have said I shouldn't have or that. Let's say I should have confused myself, that I should have had the second one. Right. So this may be the lonely phone topic that I ask for. I'm wondering. And we could put you on the voice disguiser for this. We'll probably have to do that, actually, if we want to get some honesty. I wonder if there's anybody listening that regrets having the second child.

Co-host/Commentator (20:17)

That may be the lonely topic. I just know that I. Millie Pete had me when she was 41. I was the accident. She had a. She had an easy pregnancy with me somewhat. I was her third child, but she had a difficult delivery, and it was a delivery in which both of our lives were at stake. And I had to be in the little plastic bubble for a day after I was born and all that stuff. But the first thing that she said to the doctors was, I want to have another one. Because I was 10 years younger than my older siblings. And so she wanted me to have a companion. And the doctors were the ones that told her not to because of her age. And they went ahead and she tied her tubes after I was born. But if, you know, I think from her experience, and if you can financially and you can time wise, then I think it's a wise decision to have another child.

Jeff Dollar (21:08)

That's the thing. Also, it wasn't just Stacey's nine months that she was uncomfortable being pregnant. Cause she can get past that. I know she can. But we're looking at it also, and we're looking at time, you know, like, do we really have time for a second? There are times where I'm working late and I feel like I haven't been a father to Hayden all day long. And she's like, is that what's gonna happen with the second one? So there are a lot of things that were just weighing on both sides of the fence here. But like I said, the one comment that keeps coming up is like, I've never met anybody that regretted having the second child. And I just wanna know, in all honesty, is there a chance that we would have that regret?

Caller/Listener (21:39)

I certainly can't tell you from a parent perspective, but from a sibling perspective, I have a younger brother who is three years younger than me. So it would be about the age difference between Hayden and his younger sib. And it's a relationship like none other in my life. And like, my brother is such a special friendship, such a special relationship, because there's nobody else like that. My parents aren't like that. It's not the same relationship I have with my parents that I do with my brother, my friends, my husband. You know, as close as anybody can be to me, they can't be the same relationship that I have with my brother because we've just been together all the way through. And it's just because of our age being close together. We were in school together, you know, when I was a senior in high school, he was the freshman in high school. And it was like, I mean, just all the way through it. She's been such an incredible relationship. And we still talk to each other once a week. We're on the phone for an hour. And it's just one of those relationships where I would want that for my children. And I think that, you know, I'm just saying it from the sibling perspective that it would be so cool to give Hayden that relationship and to have.

Co-host/Commentator (22:40)

Somebody to complain about the parents with. You know, I mean, I really. It sounds terrible, but I do think if you can give your child the opportunity to. To not have to have the entire burden on their shoulders when it comes to the household stuff that's going on, if, you know, the child is frustrated with the parent, if they had a sibling to be able to compare notes with, I think it makes it easier.

Jeff Dollar (23:01)

On the children from the parents perspective. I mean, if you're being totally honest. Do you regret having a second child? Good morning, Christy.

Human Resources Professional (23:09)

I do not regret having a second child, but had we had her first, there would never have been a second.

Co-host/Commentator (23:16)

Why you say that if you had.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (23:17)

Your second child first, you mean? I'm sorry, if you had your second child first, we would never have had a second.

Human Resources Professional (23:23)

Why? The first one was so incredibly easy. We were like, wow, we can do this again.

Valerie Cheatham (23:28)

The second one, whoa.

Human Resources Professional (23:29)

Total night and day.

Jeff Dollar (23:30)

Really big.

Human Resources Professional (23:31)

She was colic from day one. She was. She's just that she was a difficult baby. She was a. She was a difficult toddler. And I love her with every grain of my being, but she is a hard baby.

Jeff Dollar (23:42)

Yeah, that's a real big fear for us also, because our child, outside of being born six weeks early and having some of the stuff that goes along with being a preemie for the first year, outside of that, so easy, so low maintenance, so flexible, so laid back. And so many times I've talked to parents that said the second one comes out so different polar opposites from the first.

Human Resources Professional (24:05)

Totally different. It is completely different, and they require totally different parenting.

Caller/Listener (24:09)

So what, though?

Co-host/Commentator (24:10)

So what?

Caller/Listener (24:11)

So it's harder.

Human Resources Professional (24:13)

I'm not saying that I would never give her back. I love her so much, but had she been born first, we wouldn't have done the second. It was too hard.

Valerie Cheatham (24:20)

It was so hard that we wouldn't.

Human Resources Professional (24:21)

Have done the second.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (24:22)

So what? Says the woman with no children.

Narrator/Reporter (24:24)

I know.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (24:25)

Who cares?

Caller/Listener (24:26)

I'm just saying. I'm just saying from an outside perspective, so what, that she was harder? She's still your child, and she's still, you know, I don't know. She's still gonna be a sibling to that. That first child. I don't know.

Jeff Dollar (24:37)

But there's such a strain. Like, I've seen. I've seen families that have that second one. It's such a hell child that it really Puts a strain on the entire family and the relationship between mom and dad and some can't get over that. And I guess you never know that until you're in it.

Co-host/Commentator (24:50)

I think it's fascinating that we had the same discussion about whether you and Stacy are ready to have your first child. And now we're having the same. It's almost as if parents have this. You just have this stress over the decision to have a child, which you should because it's a huge decision. But I just think it's fascinating that you gotta understand that this was the same conversation we had about Hayden should play it back.

Jeff Dollar (25:09)

You know, we should play some of that back so I can hear that. You know, need the voice disguiser for this one.

Jeff (Caller or Co-host) (25:14)

Oh, here's a hater.

Jeff Dollar (25:15)

Good morning, Bill. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

Host (25:18)

Good morning, guys.

Co-host/Commentator (25:19)

Hi.

Human Resources Professional (25:20)

Hi.

Host (25:21)

I don't regret the second, but I do regret the third.

Co-host/Commentator (25:24)

Okay.

Host (25:26)

And not from a perspective that it was hard, but I think that once the kids outnumber the parents, it's a losing battle.

Jeff Dollar (25:34)

Yeah. I've heard that, like, people associate it to, like a basketball game. Like, it's pretty much one on one.

Host (25:40)

Exactly, exactly. And the other thing is that, you know, I vote for number two because I think until you have to, you don't appreciate the differences in your kid. And if you have a child, you think, oh, well, all children should be like this one because it's having that only child. That's your total experience. And so you kind of think that all the kids should be like yours because this is the way kids should be. Right. I think if you have a really good kid, you think all kids should be good. And if you have a really bad kid, you think all kids are bad.

Co-host/Commentator (26:13)

Yeah. And I think also that, you know, the placement and the siblings, I mean, more than likely your second child would have a different personality than Hayden because it needs to be special to you guys. I mean, that's how if you look at most siblings, especially those closer together, one is a little more aggressive, the other one's a little more laid back. And I think that's just a way for them to be able to have independence within the house. But I think it's healthy.

Jeff Dollar (26:41)

Some of this is, like, fatalistic on my end also, like, Jeff and I had this talk a couple of weeks ago on the air that.

Co-host/Commentator (26:48)

At least.

Jeff Dollar (26:48)

Within my life, things have gone pretty steady and pretty easy. And I think I always live with this small part inside of me that's just like, has Looked at the first part of my life and gone. You know what? Things have gone pretty easy. And what am I going to do to screw this up to make the second, the second half really, really, really difficult?

Caller/Listener (27:06)

Have a daughter.

Jeff Dollar (27:08)

Maybe that could be it. Maybe that could be it. Where Stacy's like, yeah, no, she's like, you know, either way, right? Yeah. We don't need the voice disguiser for Jessica. Good morning, Jessica.

Jessica (27:19)

Good morning.

Jeff Dollar (27:20)

Hi.

Jessica (27:22)

I think in your heart, you know, if you really want a second child, I speak from my perspective of number one, I had my kids when I was really, really young. And I don't regret my second child. But I agree with Christie. Had he been first, he would have been the only.

Jeff Dollar (27:37)

Really.

Jessica (27:38)

He is eight, almost nine now, and he is autistic. And it is just extremely hard, you know, I mean, my oldest child, great. I mean, he is very, very smart. He's very independent. The second child, it does put a strain on your relationship with your spouse when you have a child that has special needs. And you always have to think about that, you know, I mean, there's nothing wrong with my husband, there's nothing wrong with me. Jacob just came out different, you know, and he's been that way since day one. And you just really, you know, I think that you're doing the right thing by really talking about whether you want a second child or not. That's a huge step that a lot of people don't take. Number two is usually an accident or, you know, they thought about it, but they haven't really decided. And then, oh, all of a sudden they're pregnant, you know. So I think you're doing the right thing by saying that, you know, you really have to think about whether you want a second child. And I love my second child, like Christy said, with every fiber of my being. And I would not give him back for the world. But it is extremely hard to have a special needs child.

Jeff Dollar (28:56)

No, you're just being honest. I can understand that. I mean, we see some of the parents on Burke's Big Adventure. I mean, the things you take for granted every single day. I mean, it's obstacle after obstacle. When you have a special needs children, it can't help but take a strain on you and your relationship with your husband or wife.

Co-host/Commentator (29:11)

And I think that parents are human too. And people's reaction to those situations, you can't know until you're thrust into it.

Jeff Dollar (29:18)

You know, hey, Lynn, you'll be the last call, then we'll move on. What's going on?

Human Resources Professional (29:21)

Hey, me and my husband are both have been married before. He has three children from a previous marriage. I have one child from a previous marriage. We have currently been together from for 14 years and we have an 11 year old that is seven and a half years younger than any of the others. If I could go back now, they would all be grown by now. I wouldn't have done it.

Co-host/Commentator (29:48)

I was like, I just want to hug the little 11 year old.

Human Resources Professional (29:50)

Oh, now, now, now. There you go. He is my baby boy. I would not take a million dollars for him, but I wouldn't give a nickel for another one.

Jeff Dollar (30:00)

I think that speaks volumes right there. The bircha.