Full Show PT 2: Friday, January 23 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show - Full Show PT 2: Friday, January 23 [Vault] (Aired January 23, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this quintessential episode of The Bert Show, the hosts dive into a series of real, relatable listener-driven conversations. The main themes revolve around navigating social pressures and family dynamics—whether that's finding the "perfect" wedding date to save face at a high-school reunion, managing an over-invested "mama's boy" situation, or supporting a young listener bravely navigating coming out and pushing for acceptance at school and at home. With humor, candor, and plenty of empathy, the show remains true to its fun, authentic tone—mixing lighthearted matchmaking with profound discussions about identity and family.

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Key Segments and Insights

1. The Perfect Wedding Date: Crowd-sourcing a Plus One

(00:00–09:25)

Summary

• The team invites self-described "expert matchmakers" from their audience to help a listener, “Emma” (a pseudonym), find the perfect date for a high-stakes wedding. It’s not just any wedding—it’s a high-school reunion where Emma is the only single attendee and three now-married ex-boyfriends will be present.
• Both the hosts and Emma stress the need for a companion who is not just attractive, but can also “work the room,” be a great conversationalist, dance, and generally impress.

Notable Discussion Points

• Emma’s requirements: someone impressive, personable, responsible, but not necessarily rich or “movie star hot.”

  “I think just looking for someone that's impressive. So attractive, great personality. At weddings, the girls all get together. So it's the type of guy that can have conversation with anybody. Somebody that the whole group will look at and say, that's a great person.”
  — Emma (03:06)

• The date should be ready to flesh out a believable history to play the part convincingly (“flashcards” encouraged!), and—crucially—should not embarrass her after too many drinks.

• Compensation: Emma offers to be a designated driver for her date and his friends one night, in exchange for his help at this challenging social event.

  “A night for a night.”
  — Host (06:09)

• Listeners phone in, and logistics like age and appearance of the date are raised. Hosts reassure “Emma” her identity is safe, noting her real name is not being used.

Memorable Moment

• “It's a high school friend—so it'll essentially be a reunion as she said it. In addition, my high school was small and catty, so even people that do not attend the wedding will hear the gossip if I show up alone, no less than three now-married ex-boyfriends will be attending. Oh, so she is in need of someone to play the role of her boyfriend who is completely perfect. No pressure, though.”
  — Host (02:01)

Timestamps

• [00:00] Call for matchmaker assistance
• [01:08] Introduce “Emma” and her dilemma
• [03:06] Emma describes her ideal date
• [06:09] “A night for a night” – compensation arrangement

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2. When the Boyfriend’s Mom is Overbearing

(09:26–22:59)

Summary

• “Veronica” (another pseudonym, with a voice disguiser) calls in about her boyfriend’s extremely close relationship with his mother. She describes frequent daily calls, multiple dinners per week, and intrusive behavior from his mother—including comments about being “replaced” and suggesting sleepovers at their apartment.
• The hosts and listeners weigh in, mixing advice, empathy, and dark comedy.

Key Insights

• Veronica says she was initially drawn to the boyfriend because he was close to his mother, but now sees red flags:

  “She uses him as a security blanket. [...] I'm the first girlfriend that she's ever met of his. And keep in mind, he's in his mid-30s. So for him to keep every woman away until me, I think that speaks volumes.”
  — Veronica (15:46)

• Listeners share their own war stories—some have “mama’s boys” as husbands, some urge patience (“they don't go away”), while another warns: “Run! If he's not putting his foot down now... you're never going to win.”
• Hosts advocate for open communication—suggesting Veronica try to win the mother over with empathy and maybe a one-on-one outing, while others say to be wary of power struggles.

Notable Quotes

• “I do think overbearing parents are...doing a disservice to their child. But there is responsibility when you are the girlfriend of a mama's boy…the mother's not going anywhere.”
  — Host (17:40)

• “You're just going to have to put up with it. They don't go away. They really, really don't. [...] You can't take a boy away from his mom. You cannot do that because then you'll lose him and you don't want to do that, Right?”
  — Susan, listener (17:37)

Timestamps

• [10:01] Veronica introduces her situation
• [15:46] Revealing the boyfriend’s mother’s influence
• [17:11] Listener advice: “They don’t go away.”

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3. Coming Out Young, Staying Strong: Julian's Story

(23:09–39:19)

Summary

• 17-year-old Julian openly discusses coming out as gay to his parents at 15—foregoing the voice disguiser and even declining a fake name, which the hosts commend him for.
• Julian describes his journey: seeking therapy to work up to coming out, his parents firing the initial counselor, then sending him to a Christian therapist, and the ongoing struggle to get real acceptance.

Key Insights

• Julian’s resilience and self-awareness stand out. He acknowledges the cycle of his mother “accepting” then backtracking (“I just don’t understand it”), and his father’s silence (“he just doesn’t ever talk about it...just beats himself up…”).

• He seeks advice about bringing a male date to his conservative public school prom—raising questions about personal safety, school policy, and whether this action is for him, or to “make a point” to his parents.

• The conversation shifts to the broader challenges faced by LGBTQ youth, and how progress for one generation can help the next.

  “At 17, I was in relationships. I'd already been with women, but yeah, I was by no means as strong as you are. And that's, you know, a lot to take on.”
  — Melissa, co-host (30:45)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I’m so proud of you. I’m 36 and I came out when I was 30...the fact that you have done this at your age is amazing.”
  — Sherry, listener (35:47)

• “You are who you are. Don’t let your parents negatively affect you. [...] Just stay where you are, man, you’re doing great.”
  — Sherry, listener (36:21)

• “If you want to bring a guy home, great. But do it authentically…not to challenge your dad or challenge your mom.”
  — Melissa (38:15)

Timestamps

• [23:09] Julian is introduced
• [23:46] Julian recounts coming out to his parents
• [26:06] Parents’ reactions and ongoing struggle with acceptance
• [30:38] Julian’s concerns about bringing a boy to prom
• [35:47] Sherry calls to commend and encourage Julian
• [38:15] Melissa’s advice on authenticity and parents’ journeys

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Notable Quotes, Attributions, & Timestamps

• On what makes a perfect wedding date:

  "I think just looking for someone that's impressive. So attractive, great personality...Somebody that the whole group will look at and say, that's a great person."
  — Emma, [03:06]

• On being the girlfriend of a mama’s boy:

  "But there is responsibility when you are the girlfriend of a mama's boy… the mother's not going anywhere. He's already shown you his relationship with his mother."
  — Host, [17:40]

• On coming out young:

  “I am so proud of you. I’m 36 and I came out when I was 30… the fact that you have done this at your age is amazing.”
  — Sherry (caller), [35:47]

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Tone & Language

True to The Bert Show style, the tone oscillates between playful and deeply sincere. The candid, humorous banter among hosts brings levity, even to serious conversations (“You should have dated a meth head manslut…” [21:53]), but the show never shies away from emotional topics or validating lived experiences.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is an excellent showcase of why The Bert Show is so beloved: it weaves together lighthearted matchmaking, relatable day-to-day challenges, and meaningful, real-world advice. Whether you’re in need of a wedding plus one, navigating complicated family ties, or embracing your authentic self against the odds, you’ll find humor, empathy, and encouragement.

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Segment Timeline (Quick Reference)

• 00:00 — Search for "perfect wedding date"
• 09:26 — “Mama’s boy” dilemma and relationship advice
• 23:09 — Julian’s coming out journey and prom planning
• 35:47 — Calls of support for Julian and concluding advice

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Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Youth Pride (Atlanta LGBTQ+ youth support organization)
• The Bert Show website for follow-up on matchmaking segment

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“We serve the laughs while bringing you into our world so you can take a break and escape yours.” — The Bert Show

Transcript

[A]

The Birch Show. We need the help of a Birch show listener. Very specific Birch show listener. The listener we're looking for is somebody who considers themselves an expert matchmaker. Like somebody who is a. That person who. And we all know them, who has set up other couples who have gone on to get married and be happily married and everything's great, and everything's wonderful.

[B]

It's usually one of your girlfriends that loves the coupledom.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

She's very in love in her own relationship and wants everyone else to be as in love. And so does the whole setup thing.

[A]

Yes. So we need that person. And if you are the person, we are at 404-741-1005. You brag that there are five couples in your circle, and you put them all together. Right?

[C]

I introduced them. Oh, you know what? I know. You see that code? That great couple. I introduced them.

[A]

Right. So I introduced her to his. Oh, that was a blind date. I set that up. I worked with him, and I knew her from. And I knew they would be perfect together. And we need your help. And probably more importantly, we have Birchow listener Emma, who needs your help. Hey, Emma, are you there?

[D]

Good morning, Burt show.

[A]

How are you?

[D]

I'm doing great. How are y'? All?

[A]

We're well, thank you very much. And we're gonna be happy to help you out, hopefully with the. With the help of a Bircho listener.

[D]

Wonderful.

[A]

Emma is in need of follow read from your email. The perfect man for one night and one night only.

[B]

Okay, I guess that is perfect. On this one night and one night.

[D]

Only, I actually have a wedding, and a wedding date is crucial to the night, but on top of that, it's a high school friend. So it's pretty much like a high school reunion and then a wedding all rolled into one. So I'm looking for the perfect date. And unfortunately for guys, weddings are pretty high pressure. You have to dress up, you have to dance, be social, and look really good all at the same time. So that's what I'm looking for.

[A]

Reading, reading from her email, it says this particular wedding is the epitome of every single woman's nightmare. I am the only single person I know that is attending. Everyone else is paired off at this point. It's a high school friend, so it'll essentially be a reunion as she said it. In addition, my high school was small and catty, so even people that do not attend the wedding will hear the gossip. If I show up alone, no less than three now married ex boyfriends will be attending. Oh, so she is in need of someone to play the role of her boyfriend who is completely perfect. No, no pressure, though.

[B]

So we need a Birch show listener who's a matchmaker to help us find this guy.

[A]

Yes. Okay, so if you are the person who can pair everybody off now tell us what in the eyes of your high school classmates, what would make this guy perfect? Does he need to be rich? Does he need to be good looking? Does he need to be physically fit? Does he need to be all the above?

[D]

I think just looking for someone that's impressive. So attractive, great personality. At weddings, the girls all get together. So it's the type of guy that can have conversation with anybody. Somebody that the whole group will look at and say, that's a great person.

[B]

I think that that's more key than what he looks like or necessarily what he does for a living. Because if it's somebody who can walk into a room and make friends quickly and sort of, you know, carry on conversations, whether it's with her, like Aunt Ethel or whether it's with, you know, the other groomsmen or whatever, I think that's exactly who you want.

[D]

Yes, definitely.

[B]

Personality guy who can, you know, who can orchestrate that situation. That's who it is now looking for.

[A]

All right, are you going to set this up so that you and the guy will spend a couple hours like briefing each other so it seems like it's a long term relationship? Or are you just going to say it's a, like, oh, this is our first date or how is that going to work?

[D]

No, I would prefer that we get to know each other a little bit. You know, I'm not going to go in there and say, this is my boyfriend, we've been together for five years. But, you know, I would like to be comfortable with each other and then say that we've known each other for a little while.

[A]

So he needs also to be smart enough that like, you create some flashcards or whatever and he can remember that like, you know, when in high school, all through high school, you wanted to be a weather girl on the news. Like, you tell him something like that.

[E]

Right.

[D]

That'd be great. And then also somebody that's somewhat responsible. I don't want to take somebody to a wedding with an open bar and, and be that guy in the middle of the dance floor and toss your.

[B]

Sorry, you're out. So if somebody was listening and going to be matchmaker for you, they need to know a little bit more about you.

[D]

Okay. Grew up in Atlanta and very passionate about my job and what I do, I like to have fun, go out. Live music, comedy.

[B]

Cool. You said grew up in Atlanta and.

[A]

You went to high school here in Atlanta.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so are you worried at all about the person who calls up actually being somebody else who went to your high school?

[D]

It's a possibility.

[A]

According to your email here, you want it to be a night to remember you're doing all the things that you need to do. But the wedding is a week from tomorrow.

[E]

Yes, Very soon.

[A]

So the turnaround is fairly quick.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Pressure.

[A]

Yeah. Now, what will you be compensating this guy with?

[D]

Well, I've been thinking about that and something in Atlanta that I would love is a DD for a night, somebody to drive around a group of my friends. So I thought that might be a good. For somebody who goes out with me for a night, then I could give them a night where they don't have to worry about that.

[F]

And that's fair.

[A]

That's a night for a night.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

That's cool.

[C]

Right? Because I. So I'm assuming that when you take this guy to the wedding that you want everybody to know you're together. Are you going to fabricate a relationship with the person to your friends or are you. It's just going to be. The reason I ask is because if he is pigeonholed where he can't kind of have freedom there and he's going to talk and entertain other people, but if he has to play as if he's your boyfriend, then, you know, you do have to come to the table with something equal. So I think the designated driver for.

[A]

The night is smart and it is important that like, the guy obviously can't get hammered and tell anybody the truth, like what happened in camp.

[F]

Right.

[C]

Or hit on other people, you know.

[D]

Like, yeah, let's stay away from all of that.

[A]

Alright, so here's what we'll do. We've got the details from your email, we've got the details that you gave us over the phone. So we're going to, we'll put something up on our website, we'll put a link to Tracy's email address and then the matchmakers that we were talking about will start scouring Atlanta to find the perfect guy. But they're going to have to work on it over the weekend and we'll have to check back in with you on Monday, hopefully to be able to deliver to you good news about this. You know, they'll find the person over the weekend and then we can bring you together on the air on Monday morning.

[D]

That all sounds great.

[A]

And then is it a black tie wedding or anything? Like, does the guy need to make any special preparations? Will he have any expense related to this?

[D]

It's probably just gonna be a suit.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And then, of course, I'll buy the present, so there shouldn't be any cost for him.

[A]

Okay. All right, Emma, we're gonna put you on hold, and we'll see if Tracy needs any additional information from you, and then we'll check back in with you this time Monday morning.

[E]

Great.

[D]

Thank you so much.

[A]

And it's encouraging. The phones are all R, so.

[C]

Oh, great.

[A]

Let's. Oh, hold on. This is an important question. I just want to make sure there's no important questions. And there's one. Hey, Kathy.

[D]

Oh, no, Jeff, this is Maria. I just have a quick question. Yeah, everybody listens to the Burt show. She's not afraid that somebody's gonna hear her getting set up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta, and it's a small wedding. She gave the date.

[E]

How are they not gonna know that.

[D]

This is the chick who prearranged this on Q100?

[A]

Yeah, that is a problem.

[C]

I appreciate you thinking everybody listens to the Burke show in the city of Atlanta. That's awesome.

[B]

Well, we did change her name.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that is true. Emma is a fake name.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Okay, well, good luck for Emma. I hope it works out for her.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[E]

Bye, guys.

[A]

Hey, Kathy.

[D]

Hey, good morning, y'.

[C]

All.

[E]

Happy New Year.

[A]

Happy New Year. What's your question?

[E]

What kind of age is she looking for the man to be?

[A]

You know what? Well, I'm seeing if it's in the email, and it's not, but we will make sure that is put up on the website.

[D]

Oh, yeah, because I know a perfect guy.

[E]

I mean, he's real invasive, and he's great to get along with, and he's always out to have fun and stuff.

[D]

But he's like, early to mid-40s, but he's really cute. But anyway, so.

[A]

Yeah, hold on the line, Kathy. We'll get your information, and then we'll get the answer from Emma, and we'll see if you two can connect. Okay. All right, hold on. The bird show. All right, Veronica, just give us a check. Check to make sure you're on the voice disguiser.

[E]

Hey, guys.

[A]

That voice disguiser. Okay, perfect. How are you?

[E]

I'm wonderful.

[A]

Good. You have good.

[E]

How are you guys?

[A]

Good holidays.

[E]

I did. I just wanted to say I'm your biggest fan.

[A]

Oh, thank you very much.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

We appreciate it.

[C]

I'm glad that you are now. We'll see how it is after we talk to you.

[A]

Well, we're glad you contacted us, and we hope you can get some advice from this that you'll turn around and ignore. That's what the Bircho listeners do, but we'll try.

[E]

That's what you're good for, Jeff. Right?

[A]

I know. We try. Tell us about this perfect man.

[E]

Okay, so I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and ever since we've been together, we have thought that we would be married. He is an exceptional man. He is completely devoted to me. He treats me like a princess. He's always there for me. We very rarely ever fight. He's just the greatest guy. I mean, he's everything that I've ever looked for in a man. And we've never gotten to an argument until the holidays. And the issue was that he was spending too much time with his mother.

[D]

So all of these feelings kind of.

[E]

Came out of the woodwork over the holidays.

[A]

All right, what was the. When he was spending time with his mom. Tell us what. What were some of the things he did to lead up to it? And then what was the straw that broke the camel's back?

[E]

Okay, well, I guess for starters, she calls him at least once a day. And I have counted. One time she called him over five times in one day, and he had his phone off for half the day, so that's pretty bad.

[B]

So she was, like, kind of frantic that she couldn't get in touch with him?

[E]

No, it wasn't frantic.

[A]

She calls him and talks to him, and they end the conversation, and then an hour later calls him again, has another conversation with him.

[C]

Now, before we continue, how old is he?

[E]

He is in his mid-30s.

[C]

Okay, great. All right. Okay, continue.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

So in addition to her calling on a regular basis, he sees her at least once a week. Sometimes he sees her two or three times a week for dinner. Or he'll go and stop by their house and say, hi. She lives pretty near where we live, so he'll stop by and see her. We were out to dinner one time, and she made this comment that.

[D]

A.

[E]

Girl is your best friend. If you have a girl, that she's your best friend for your whole life, and if you have a son, he's only yours until she takes a wife. And she kind of looked at me and said, well, don't you agree? Don't you think that's true? And he was kind of like, mom, what are you talking about? That's ridiculous. But she has this dead set opinion that I'm going to steal her only son away.

[B]

You're gonna take him away? Yeah. I can understand why a mom would feel that way. I mean, you know, I don't want to completely take her side on this, but it is true. When a guy gets married, he ends up sort of, you know, doing more of what she, you know, the wife wants as far as family and as.

[C]

He should, though holidays and all that sort of thing. Children grow up and I mean, I know it's gotta be tough for a parent, but he's in his mid-30s. Like, children are supposed to get up, grow up, have families of their own, and parents are supposed to, like, be happy. Like, okay, you know, my responsibility's done. I get to kind of live a second phase of my life and do my own thing again because parents have spent so much time doing that. So I think the hanger on parent is doing such a disservice to their child.

[E]

I agree.

[A]

Have you. Did you say that you walked over to her house or that she lives that close? Did I hear that or.

[E]

No, she doesn't.

[A]

Okay. How far away does she live from you guys?

[E]

She lives about 30 minutes away.

[A]

And how did it come up that she wanted to have a sleepover?

[E]

She works. She works close to where we live.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

And so she made a comment that she had to work early in the morning. And it was pretty. It was like 10 o' clock when she came over and she said, you know, I didn't realize you guys lived so close to my work. And we were like, what are you talking about? You've been here a million times. She's like, well, maybe I should just spend the night over here. Maybe I should have packed my stuff to spend the night. And I kind of looked at her and laughed and said, yeah, maybe you should just bring your stuff and we can all have a sleepover. That'd be so much fun. I mean, it's gotten to the point where I know what she's doing and she knows that I know what she's doing. And he's kind of caught in the middle of it.

[A]

Aj, you're on with Veronica to him. Aj, you there? Hold on one second. I think I got a.

[C]

Well, let me ask a question while we get the color on. When she packed the bag, was it just for that night or was she saying she wanted to do it consistently? She said that was anything.

[A]

All right, go ahead. Sorry. Are you there? This is gonna be a problem because we can't have two people on at the same time. Do you know why?

[B]

With the voice disguiser situation?

[A]

Yeah. Hold on. Okay, Veronica, because we want to get this up. We have a lot of people calling in to give you. To give you advice. So is she on the bottom row? Yeah, she's on the bottom row. Yep.

[C]

Jen, do you really think you have.

[A]

To put her on the top row? Do you think she's on the top row?

[C]

The situation is really bad. I mean, everything that she said, I don't think sounds that extreme. Like, I don't yet.

[B]

I just want to. I want to hear more from her about her relationship with the mom and their conversations when he's not around.

[C]

Because the one phone call a day to your mom, so what? I mean, once or twice a week for dinner. So what? I think that's sweet.

[E]

Well, that was something that I was initially attracted to him about because I really loved the fact that he was so close to his mother.

[C]

Right.

[E]

But when you get deeper into the history of her life and her issues with her husband and this and that, she uses him as a security blanket. And she. I talked to his sister about this and she even warned me about his mother because he's so clingy and I'm the first girlfriend that she's ever met of his. And keep in mind he's in his mid-30s. So for him to keep every woman away until me, I think that speaks volumes.

[A]

Hey, aj. Aj. Hello. Hello. Let's try. Hey, Susan.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. You have some advice for Veronica?

[D]

Hey, Veronica. I feel like you married my husband's brother. Are you married to him or just dating him right now? Yeah, I'm married and I live with my in laws and I've been married five months and my mother in law is exactly like that. And I feel very terrible for you, but honey, you're just gonna have to put up with it. They don't go away. They really, really don't. And over time, I swear to you, it gets better. My mother in law cried because I was taking my husband on a one night stay at Lenox and breakfast. And she cried when we were leaving. And I couldn't understand why. She's like, why do you guys have to spend.

[E]

But why?

[D]

And I'm like, I'm sorry, we have plans. We're going. Have a nice day.

[B]

Bye.

[E]

Bye.

[D]

She'll call in the middle of the night just in case we don't pick up the phone. She would come knocking on our door at three in the morning asking if everything's okay, if our lights are on. I mean, it's sad and it's scary. We have no privacy. But be glad at least you got to live with them. You know, you can't take a boy away from his mom. You cannot do that because then you'll lose him and you don't want to do that, Right?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, there you go, Veronica. There's some optimism for you.

[C]

Well, I'm also curious about the attitude of the girlfriend. I mean, because I do think overbearing parents are, like I said, doing a disservice to the kid. But there is responsibility when you are the girlfriend of a mama's boy, that if you really want to be with him, the mother's not going anywhere. He's already shown you his relationship with his mother. Like you said, that's one of the things that attracted you to him. But, you know, like Jen said, it's gotta be hard for the mother to let him go. So why is it so difficult for you maybe to one on one, do something with her so that she feels like, you know, I'm gonna be your daughter in law. You're adding a family member, you're not losing a family member, and y' all become a little closer. Because I think mothers get really threatened if their children all of a sudden decide not to be involved in their lives. And I think a parent becomes more comfortable the more you're around them and let them know everything's okay. It's just we're evolving, you know?

[E]

Yeah, I think that's good advice. So you think that I should maybe do something one on one with her.

[C]

Or just kind of like, yeah, throw up a white flag, like, you know, bury the hatch and say, look, you know what? I want to get to know you as a woman and I think that she would treat you better.

[A]

Hey, Joanna.

[E]

Yes?

[A]

All right, go ahead. You're on with Veronica. Okay.

[D]

I live with my mother in law and. Okay, you can try that. What they just said to have conversation with her and be friends with her. But if that don't work and she still does what she does, because my mother in law, we do not get along. And you need to run because your husband is never going to choose you over your over his mother. It's always if he's not putting his foot down now or if you have a problem and he's not like you like talk to your, the boyfriend or whatever. And he's not, you know, agreeing with you, it's never going to stop. So you would need to run. Because right now I'm in a marriage and I oh my God.

[A]

What are some of the things. Hey, Joanna.

[G]

What?

[A]

What are some of the things that your mother in law does?

[D]

Oh, my God. Well, first of all, my problem is my mother in law is from Jamaica. She came and lived with us like we had got married March 2006. She came and lived with us from in October and she's been with us since then. March, I mean, October 26, 2006. And she's just overbearing. She just has been our business. She won't let us live our lives. It's like that's her son. She's trying to take over my house. She's trying to take over my child. She's just everything just take a breath.

[A]

And Joanna needs to take up drinking.

[C]

Well, and I think that, I mean, that's that mother in law's fault for even considering moving in with this couple.

[B]

You know, sometimes, you know how like in a pack of dogs there has to be like the alpha dog.

[A]

Alpha dog.

[B]

Like sometimes in a household there's alpha, you know, alpha males or alpha females or whatever. And it just doesn't work if there's two people trying to be that way. And the last two callers lived with their mother in law.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That's too close for comfort.

[C]

Bad idea all around.

[A]

Hey, Katie.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Give Veronica a little bit of hope.

[D]

I just wanted to tell her that my husband is very much so a mama's boy. And I absolutely love it. He goes and sees his mom probably once or twice a week, just like she said, everything's the same. She calls him all the time, but I love it because most of time she's calling to check on our daughter that we just had. We have a five month old daughter now and she's so involved in her life. And I just wanted to tell her that that's not a bad thing. It's an awesome thing because family is huge and I just don't think she should push her out of her life.

[E]

I've never wanted to push her out of his life and that's the last thing that I do. I just don't respect the fact that she probed into our lives and she asked him if we sleep together. I'm like, we live together. You know. What are you at? She asked, doing no big question.

[A]

She just wants to know where she'll be staying when she sleeps over at the apartment, if it'll be with the two of you or if it'll just be in bed with him. Hey, Kimberly.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

You're over with Veronica.

[D]

I mean, really really? Is this even an issue? Like, sweetheart, you should be lucky that he's not cheating on you or going out every night with his friends, getting wasted, doing God knows what or doing drugs. Like, this is a blessing. And I'm not trying to be hard on you or anything like that, but, you know, like, look at it optimistically. And I know that there are things that go along with this that are bad, but he could be doing so many other things that would be driving you up the wall. This is the last thing you need.

[E]

To be worried about.

[A]

See what you should have done, Veronica, right before this guy. Or maybe you take a break from him and you date like a meth head manslut and, you know, and you get used to somebody who's going out doing who knows what and sleeping around on you. And then when you come back to this guy with his mom, you'll think he's great.

[B]

And I better for sleepovers all the time.

[A]

Yeah. When in doubt, move the bar.

[E]

Exactly.

[C]

Well, yeah, I think it goes back to what Jen said. As long as there's not a power struggle going on, you can get along. You can't think you're taking over her position or you're competing with her. That is his mother. That's his mother. And you will be a mother someday. And you will be just as close to your kids. Because a lot of times, the women that get into these situations with the mama's boy ends up being the one that mothers their boys, too. So you got to see Stop the cycle, become friends with her.

[B]

And I think you do have to become friends with her. I think Melissa's right. I think spending some time with her, one on one, will make her realize you're not trying to steal him away from her.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Like he's some sort of possession.

[A]

Good luck. Good luck, Veronica.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

You're welcome. And thanks for being such a fan of the show. I hope we gave you some middle of the road advice.

[E]

You guys did.

[A]

All right. Good. Good luck.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Good luck. Give his best. Give our best to his mom when you go downstairs and find her on the couch. Thanks, Veronica.

[E]

Thanks, guys.

[A]

The Birch show.

[F]

All right, we're gonna get Julian on here in a second. 17 years old, going to high school, and I mean, this is pretty courageous stuff at 17 years old. Because I asked Jeff before we got Julian on, I'm like, does this kid want to use the voice disguiser? And he's like, no. Fake name.

[A]

No.

[F]

So to be out at 17 years old, that's pretty strong stuff.

[C]

Absolutely. For his. Yeah, absolutely.

[F]

Hey, Julian.

[G]

Hey.

[C]

Hey.

[F]

How are you?

[G]

I'm pretty good.

[F]

Now, I don't have your email here in front of me, but give us a little history here. You came out to your parents when?

[G]

Not last summer, but the summer before.

[B]

Okay, so when you were 15.

[G]

Yes.

[F]

Just kind of as a sidebar. Where did you get the strength to do that?

[G]

Actually, I started going to a little bit of counseling right before. So I could figure out how exactly to do it. So I did that for a while, and they didn't really know why I was going. And then during the summer, I had them come in and I told them. They freaked out, fired the therapist, and it was kind of bad.

[F]

So let me just get the order of things. You told them, look, I've got some stuff on my mind. I'd really like to go see a therapist. But you never came clean on why. And then after you got the therapy, that's when you told them about it, and they said the therapist must be wrong, and they fired them.

[G]

Yep.

[A]

And the therapist is the one who helped you. Like, you went in as soon as you get in with the therapist, and the door would show you, like, all right, look, here's why I'm here. I'm gay. Don't know how to tell mom and dad. You got to walk me through this.

[G]

Right.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

They probably thought the therapist encouraged you to be gay, so they probably.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Really? Parental logic.

[G]

They accused her of somehow making me okay with it or something. I was like, no, I was okay with it before.

[F]

How dare her try to make you feel okay about being you?

[G]

Well, see, then they decided to send me to another therapist, a Christian therapist.

[B]

To try to rehabilitate you or something.

[G]

Yeah. But the funny thing was, I don't think he really wanted to rehabilitate me either. So that kind of ended up being a waste of money, too.

[F]

I think this is probably pretty standard stuff, right?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. That's why, I guess what they accused the therapist of and not surprised, that they switched him to one of a religious background, assuming that somebody of religious background would find it as wrong as they do. And I think, you know, and when it's close to home, and especially I think Jillian being, you know, a guy, I will. I still can, you know, say that it's a lot harder, I think, for gay men than gay women. And, you know, I just. Yeah. When it's close to home, like these, you know, your parents, I don't know whether they would ever have been people who would said, well, you Know, everybody teaches own, but when it's in your own family, all of a sudden you become ultra conservative.

[F]

Yeah, it's amazing how open minded your parents are until that situation happens to.

[A]

To them to your dinner table.

[C]

Wait a minute.

[F]

Right, so, Julian. Okay, so at that point, they obviously aren't handling the news well. Where is the relationship now with your parents? Do they accept you now?

[G]

Well, after I. Well, okay. Over this past summer, I went back home to Detroit, because I'm originally from Detroit and I was staying with my grandmother and I visited my godmother a few times and I told my godmother and apparently around September, my godmother and my mom are best friends. And I guess my godmother decided to confront my mom, asking her why she never told her about this and all this other stuff. So then my mom calls me in and she's like, we need to talk. And we talked for a while and she was like, well, I guess since you feel the need to tell other people, you must not be confused about it or, you know, something like that. She said, so I'm telling you today that I accept you. So I'm like, okay, good, you know, we've made progress. But lo and behold, a week later, she's like, I just don't understand it. I'm like, wait a minute, I thought we already had this discussion.

[F]

Right. You know, Melissa and I have talked about this before and I said some. A painful. Melissa took it painfully. But I was honest with her when I said that as a parent, if my now 3 year old eventually comes to me and tells me he's gay initially, there's gonna be some disappointment. I like to think I'm gonna handle it differently. Like I have unconditional love for this kid. I mean, eventually, and I don't think it's gonna take all that long. But the shock, there will be some disappointment there for me, but kind of last thing I want to do is to make my kid not okay with himself.

[A]

So especially at age 15, I think too, because I mean, you can't drink, vote, drive none. So I'm sure if you're the parent, you're thinking he's just got hormones raging through him. He's a phase.

[C]

Media has encouraged him, you know, to do this. The therapist is everybody else. Yeah, Melissa on the Burt show, I mean, she can do whatever. But you know what? That's. That's her that, you know, that's no way to be. But the thing that frustrates me, I think, is parent. It's not about the parents like the parent. I understand about protecting the child, but I think the painful thing is the disappointment affects the kid. Is what Bird and my conversation was about. Like, it's not about the parent, it's not about you. And I think that what comes in that fear from parents and the reason, like Julie and your mother, their reputation is on the line, like, it's not, it's no longer about the son and protecting him from any. You know, if a parent says, well, I'm worried about you and what you're going to face in your life, that's one thing. But most parents are worried about what they are going to face with their friends and their family in their own lives.

[F]

Yeah. And I think where I'm coming from with that and talking about the disappointment, it's not the reputation of the family, because the reputation of my family can only get better. It's more that you have these hopes and dreams and I guess there's an. There's this implied future, you know, with your child and when they come to you and they say everything that you thought was gonna happen in the future probably is not, I think that's a little bit shocking to the system as a parent and a little disappointing.

[C]

Well, but the thing that, you know, finding love, being a committed relationship, if those are the things you're talking about, that's still gonna happen regardless, you know, and the reason I get on the air and I fight for legal rights is so that that future can be the same regardless of what your child, who your child is in love with. And Julian. But I think your parents problem is the reputation, their own reputation. You know, I don't think it has anything to do with Julian and his life. I think it has to do with his parents.

[B]

Julian, we've only talked about your mom so far. What's your dad's reaction, Ben?

[G]

Well, when I first came out and told them, he didn't speak to me or look at me for three straight weeks. That was pretty mean. And ever since then, he just doesn't ever talk about it. Only my mom talks about it because I don't know, my dad doesn't like to talk about things that bother him. And it's obviously something that bothers him. And I only hear how he feels about it from my mom. Like she was telling me how he's basically beating himself up because he feels like he did something to make me gay.

[F]

So the next level of this whole thing is that now you're kind of taking a peek into your future and looking at your Prom. And you want to bring a guy with you.

[G]

Yes.

[F]

And what's your question on how to handle that with your parents?

[G]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, no.

[C]

Well, Julian, I mean, I think, you know, you have taken on so much at such a young age. Because I certainly. I was certainly much more of a coward than you. At 17, I was in relationships. I'd already been with women, but yeah, I was by no means as strong as you are. And that's, you know, a lot to take on. Are you now? How is the school going to handle that? Like, my first thought when you said this was, is the school even going to allow you to bring a guy to the prom?

[G]

Well, I'm not sure it is ultra conservative. I.

[B]

Is it a private school or a public school?

[G]

It's a public school. So technically I could always get around it and be like, hey, it's a public school. I should be able to bring whoever I want to bring. I've seen lesbian couples, but I've never seen a gay couple there.

[F]

Let me give the phone number out here too, if you guys have any suggestions for Julian. 404-741-1005. So there's not like they can't make a blanket statement that there can't be gay couples at the prom, right? I mean, you'd be open. They can't say that.

[A]

Well, they can try.

[F]

I mean, I think that would be unconstitutional.

[G]

I'm sure they would, but I don't think they would necessarily succeed.

[F]

Right?

[C]

Yeah, but they can try. And I think they would have the majority of support to keep a gay couple from coming to prom. I mean, we're not, we're not in as a progressive society as you think now. Oh, no, I think, Julian, for my only thing for you is one to make sure that you're not doing this as an attack on your parents that you truly want to take. You know, if you find somebody to take to the prom, that that's what you are going to do and also find a support system because if you're doing this by yourself and handling your parents by yourself and going to handle the school by yourself, like there's plenty of organizations in town for gay youth that you need some friends to help you out.

[G]

Oh, okay.

[F]

You know, what's your instinct say to do?

[G]

My instinct says I just need to randomly bring a guy home and see how they take it. And if they can take that, hopefully they'll be able to take me taking a cat prom.

[F]

David here has some advice for you. Hey, David, you're on with Julian.

[G]

Hey, Bert. I went through something similar like this where I was in high school and came out at 16. And for me, it was kind of a similar situation where my parents didn't know. And basically, I was kind of blessed in that I was able to keep my school life and my home life totally hidden from them. And what really helped me was the fact that everyone at my school already knew, so it was kind of a non issue. Even though I ended up taking a girl to prom. Everyone's back question was, why didn't you bring your boyfriend? And it was basically because he didn't.

[C]

Feel comfortable going, mm, Julian, are you out at school?

[G]

Am I out?

[F]

Julian, are you out at school?

[G]

No.

[A]

No.

[G]

Well, yes, I am, but a lot of people think it's just a rumor. So, like, every day I have someone walk up to me, are you gay? And I'm like, yeah. They're like, really? I'm like, yeah.

[F]

So you're not. Obviously not hiding it from anybody. I mean, you're on the radio with us this morning. You're letting everybody know who you are and.

[G]

Right.

[A]

So understand, like with. With Bird, you know, going back to what Bird said earlier about the, you know, the initial shock, you know, of being somebody's dad who comes out, especially a boy who comes out and says he's gay. You know, like, you got to feel like you did, you know, something wrong or screwed something up or whatever. And I think it's. I mean, at some point, I would hope that your dad would not only accept you, but it's pretty impressive how at age 17 in high school, like, somebody comes up and says, are you gay? And you're like, yeah. And like, that's it. Like, that's pretty. Like, I hope you realize what a big deal that is. I think we're all in here. Like, I think Bert was a little shocked. I'm a little shocked at how strong Jillian is.

[C]

I certainly know, like, I said, I was not that way. I was hiding and lying and doing all that kind of stuff. At 17.

[F]

Yeah. It's a little tough to ask this room for advice, because three of us have absolutely no experience in this area at all. And one didn't really appreciate the way that she handled her own situation when she was younger.

[C]

Well, and I think part of the reason that I'm doing what I do today is because of that guilt and that anxiety I felt. I don't want. I'm glad that Julian's doing this, and if I can contribute to anybody, not have. Yeah. I'm trying to make up for it. I mean, that's one of the motivations for me being out on the radio doing what I'm doing is because of what I did in high school that I do regret now. Julian, Youth Pride is one of the organizations here in Atlanta that is composed of gay high school and college kids. And so when I said a support system, there could be plenty of people in Youth Pride that have been through what you're going through or maybe have some advice for you as well, right?

[F]

Sherry, good morning.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

Hi.

[F]

You're on with Julian. You have some advice for me?

[G]

Hey, Julian, how are you? Pretty good.

[D]

I am so proud of you. I'm 36 and I came out when I was 30, and it was really tough on me with my parents. And it took them several years to accept it. And the fact that you have done this at your age is amazing. And I hope you realize how significant it is and that you are able to start your life at your age and not have to wait.

[F]

Yeah. How awful that must be. I mean, and I think this is probably the norm to have to go 30, 40, 50 years with this secret of such a vital part of your own personality.

[E]

Right.

[D]

You know, the only advice I have for you is to stay as strong as you are, to keep remembering that you are who you are. And just don't let your parents negatively affect you. It can hurt when your dad. When your dad abandons you or doesn't talk to you. And just stay where you are, man, you're doing great.

[C]

A woman came up to me at the Holly Gay party the other night and told me a story that I, you know, was really touching. And Jillian, I want to tell you this story to let you know, like, her thing about how it takes a while for parents to accept you. So a woman came up to me at the holiday party who came out to her mom recently, and her mom was not accepting of it. And she was an old. She was an adult. So she was not still in high school or college or anything. And one of her advice to her mother was to listen to the Birch show and hear me talk to my mother, Millie Pete, because Millie Pete is accepting of me. She's a 76 year old woman from Kentucky who is as conservative as they come. But, Julian, it took, I want to say, six years maybe, for Millie Pete to finally realize I wasn't getting married, realize that I wasn't going to, you know, date guys and that kind of thing. So I think with your dad, you have to remember that parents are human, too. And they were raised a certain way, and they were raised in a much more conservative environment than your generation was raised. And I think that you just have to be patient and give time. And like I said, if you want to bring a guy home, great. But do it authentically. Do it because you really want to bring the guy home, not because you want to challenge your dad or challenge your mom, because that's not fair to them. Like, I really do believe that you. These are your parents, and you have a lifetime of relationship with them. So make sure that everything you do is because you really, in your heart, want to do it. And not to make, you know, to see if your dad's gonna talk to you or be. Have a reaction. You know what I'm saying? Because it may take him a long time to come around, but you just show him that you really are confident and secure in this decision to be out and that you truly are happy. And then eventually your parents, because all they want is for you to be happy. And once Millie Pete realized, you know what? She's a lot happier in relationships with women than any relationship I've ever saw her with a guy. That's what made Millie Pete change her mind. She wanted me to be happy. Seeing me happy, she accepted me. Does that make sense? Yeah.

[F]

So, hey, Julian, we got a roll. Most people on the phones are more just calling up to congratulate you and tell you that they're very proud of your strength. And we're not getting a lot of advice calls. Okay? So here's what I'd like to do.

[A]

You're way too functional and smart for.

[B]

This show, so you're very confident and so well spoken at such a young age, and I think everybody's really impressed by you.

[F]

Julian, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get your email and after the show, generally, what happens when the people that had advice couldn't get through? Because everybody's calling up to patch on the back.

[G]

Right.

[F]

They will email us, and we'll just send the emails to you with the advice. Okay?

[G]

Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Congratulations, Julian.

[F]

Yeah, man.

[G]

Thank you.

[F]

Very impressive.

[C]

And life will get easier, I promise.

[F]

Hey, the Birch show.