Full Show PT 2: Friday, June 12 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, June 12 [Vault] (June 12, 2026)

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Bert Show" features a trademark blend of real-life drama, listener interaction, and celebrity interviews—delivered with the show's signature humor and candor. Highlights include a heated and controversial "listener drama" saga involving a woman’s crush on a married bar patron, candid team confessions about awkward dreams, a detailed interview with Justin Bieber at the height of his early fame, and a reflection on breaking habits through hypnosis. The team, made up of Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and friends, keep the energy lively as they shift between lighthearted banter and deeper discussions.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Listener Drama: Jill’s Controversial Crush on a Married Man

[01:28–13:12]

Recap

• Jill, a recurring caller, ignored the hosts’ advice and acted on her feelings for a married man who frequents the bar where she works.
• She intercepted the man on his way to the bathroom while he was out with his wife, asking him to meet for lunch to discuss something "important."
• The Bert Show team and several listeners critique Jill's decision, warning her of the possible fallout—including job loss and public humiliation.

Core Insights & Reactions

• The hosts, especially Melissa and Jeff, are strongly opposed, labeling Jill’s move as “out of line,” “desperate,” and “potentially job-ending.”
• Jill defends her actions, stating, “this is my life, and these are my feelings, and I just feel like I have to express myself. So I don’t know if that makes me a bad person. I'm sorry.” ([02:34], Jill)
• Listener Kim calls in, sharing a similar experience but says she waited until the man was divorced before pursuing anything, stressing the importance of respecting boundaries. ([07:17], Kim)
• Katie notes the lack of any evidence of mutual attraction—she believes Jill has “built this up in her head so much that she completely went over the line.” ([08:23], Katie)
• Host consensus: There is little hope the man will show up, and Jill needs to prepare for the possible appearance of the wife instead. The team vows to call Jill back on Monday for an update.
• Notable quote: “I think you scared him.” ([05:18], Melissa)
• Listener comment: "This is her. This is a random guy in her bar. It makes no sense. She doesn't know his name. I mean, she doesn't know anything about him. It's just nuts." ([08:47], Jessica)

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2. Awkward Dream Confessions & Studio Dynamics

[15:26–19:18]

Recap

• The team discusses an “awkwardness” between Southside Steve and Jen Hobby, arising from a vivid dream in which they were romantically involved.
• Both Steve and hosts recall past similar experiences: “I woke up that morning ... I expected to see Jen walking in to say, good morning. It was that vivid.” ([17:03], Burt)
• Melissa relates with a personal story about dreaming of another colleague, Phil Tirana, and being unable to face him afterward.

Tone

• Playful, irreverent, full of inside jokes.
• The segment highlights the group’s ability to poke fun at themselves and navigate awkwardness with honesty and humor.

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3. Parenting Gone Wrong: Disturbing Discipline Allegations

[19:00–24:49]

Recap

• The team shares a news story: a child tells his school that his mother forced him to kill a pet hamster as punishment for bad grades. The mother, a well-liked PTA president, is arrested—but it's suggested the child has a history of lying.
• Panelists debate false accusations, child discipline, and changes in school–parent dynamics over time.

Notable Quotes

• “You can’t find a worst parent than this. ... This is the worst parent in the books of parenting.” ([20:21], Burt)
• “Imagine if you did something as a child that resulted in your mom or dad spending the weekend in jail falsely.” ([21:41], Burt)
• “[If I did that to my parents,] I'd end up in a grave.” ([22:09], Katie)
• Input from caller Stephanie Bishop: “I just got a spanking and mama wanted to kill me... my mom got investigated by defects for three whole months.” ([23:10], Stephanie)

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4. Justin Bieber in Studio: Candid Interview and Fan Q&A

[27:25–45:50]

Recap

• Justin Bieber joins "The Bert Show" in person for an extended, lighthearted, and revealing interview at the height of his rapid rise to stardom (age 15).
• The discussion covers fame, growing up on the internet, friendships, celebrity encounters, and girl talk.

Key Topics & Memorable Quotes

• Sudden Fame & Handling Pressure:
  • “I just kind of take it one step at a time. When I go out, I don’t really think about it. I just kind of do it. It’s part of my daily activities now.” ([28:04], Justin Bieber)
  • "What mistakes have you made, do you think, over the last six months...?"
    "Well, I haven’t really made any big mistakes, really, at all." ([29:44-29:52], Justin Bieber)
• Celebrity Crushes & Meetings:
  • “I have the biggest crush on Beyonce. ... It’s just a fantasy.” ([30:49], Justin Bieber)
• Friendships Post-Fame:
  • “People that weren’t my friends now want to be my friends. I’m like, you know, it’s a little shady, bro.” ([35:18], Justin Bieber)
• Girl Talk:
  • “I think I’m 15. I think about girls every second of it. The question is, right now I’m thinking about girls.” ([35:50], Justin Bieber)
  • “Do you currently have a girlfriend?” “I currently do not have a girlfriend.” ([36:11], Justin Bieber)
• Fan Interactions:
  • Caller asks about Bieber’s famously-perfect hair. Justin: “I have a shower, and then after I have the shower, I blow dry my hair and just shake it. And then it just goes like that.” ([37:52], Justin Bieber)
• Internet & Social Media’s Role:
  • “This dude in six months has seen more success than most artists don’t do in 20 years. And that’s because Facebook and the Internet has changed the game totally.” ([28:39], Jeff)
• Banter with Hosts:
  • Ongoing jokes about Bert’s and Justin’s height, plus group singalong of "Pants on the Ground."
  • “You suck.” ([38:33], Burt, after Justin teases he’s now taller)

Notable Fan Q&A

• Many fans call in, some asking for marriage proposals, hair tips, his school life, and backstage celebrity encounters.

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5. Breaking Habits: Melissa’s Hypnosis Journey to Quit Smoking

[47:24–54:49]

Recap

• Melissa, a show regular, shares her experience using hypnosis to quit smoking.
• She’s honest about her struggles, the lingering cravings, and how the hypnosis (with Sean Wheeler from Pure Hypnosis) has shifted her mental approach.
• Melissa offers practical advice: “You’re not gonna quit until you’re absolutely ready. ... Hypnosis gave me that launching pad to start a fresh new life and being free from it.” ([47:38], Melissa)
• Tips: When a craving hits, she repeats to herself, “That’s okay because you just don’t smoke anymore.” ([51:19], Melissa)
• The team discusses the importance of readiness and how hypnosis isn't a miracle cure but can be a powerful help when paired with personal commitment.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I think you scared him.” ([05:18], Melissa to Jill)
• “Go do your thing... We gotta get an update on Monday, but this is not gonna go well.” ([11:40], Jeff)
• “I have the biggest crush on Beyonce. ... It’s just a fantasy.” ([30:49], Justin Bieber)
• “I think I'm 15. I think about girls every second of it.” ([35:50], Justin Bieber)
• “You suck.” ([38:33], Burt to Justin Bieber, playfully about height)
• On quitting smoking: “That stinks. But that's okay because you don't smoke anymore.” ([51:19], Melissa)
• “Hypnosis gave me that launching pad to start a fresh new life and being free from it.” ([47:38], Melissa)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:28–13:12] – Jill and the Married Man: The Listener Drama Unfolds
• [15:26–19:18] – Dream Confessions: Awkward Studio Moments
• [19:00–24:49] – Parenting, Discipline, and False Accusations
• [27:25–45:50] – Justin Bieber Extended Interview and Fan Calls
• [47:24–54:49] – Melissa’s Hypnosis Journey to Quit Smoking

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Overall Tone & Closing Thoughts

The Bert Show toggles effortlessly between real-life controversy, comedy, emotional support, and the thrill of pop culture. Hosts are unafraid to challenge listeners and each other but always in the spirit of keeping things candid and entertaining. This episode’s signature mix of moral debate, celebrity access, and group vulnerability makes it quintessentially “Bert Show”—perfect for listeners who want community, conversation, and a dose of “real.”

Transcript

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[Jeff]

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[Burt]

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[Jeff]

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[Justin Bieber]

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[Jeff]

Not available in all states or situations. It's the vert show. All right. I am really interested to find out how this went.

[Melissa]

Jill.

[Justin Bieber]

Jill. Jill.

[Jeff]

Because this, to me seems like a train wreck ready to happen.

[Melissa]

I'm surprised she's back on with us because A, you know, they were out late. Mm. And B, she knows everybody's ready to tee off.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Justin Bieber]

Depending on how it went.

[Jeff]

Like, even if it went well, people aren't going to be happy with her. Because why?

[Katie]

Mm.

[Jeff]

Why? Like even, let's say she said, I just want to let you know that I have A tough time seeing you in the bar those three nights are here because I think I've fallen in love with you. And even if he said, oh, my God, I'm so glad you said something, I feel the same way, that's still. People are not gonna like that outcome either.

[Melissa]

That's not cool.

[Katie]

That's not good.

[Jeff]

This is a lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose.

[Melissa]

Well, hurry up and get around before she.

[Jeff]

I know, right?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jill. Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. Good morning.

[Jeff]

Hi. You didn't take our advice yesterday. Everybody said, keep it to yourself. Work there when he comes in, don't say a word. But for some reason, you thought you got to get it off your chest.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I know everybody's mad at me or whatever and thinks that I'm some kind of awful person, but this is my life, and these are my feelings, and I just feel like I have to express myself. So I don't know if that makes me a bad person. I'm sorry.

[Melissa]

Well, tell us what happened last night.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, he came in, but he came in with his wife and another couple. So it wasn't, you know, it wasn't the right time to tell him. But I did intercept him as he was going to the bathroom and take him aside and ask him if he would be willing to come in today for.

[Melissa]

Oh, my goodness.

[Justin Bieber]

No, you didn't.

[Jeff]

So wait a second. How does this work? He gets up from the table. He starts to walk his way over to the bathroom. You hurry over there and grab him by the arm, and you say, can you come in on Friday so we can talk?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And what did he say?

[Caller/Guest]

I said I had something important to tell him. And he said, you know, what's wrong? Of course he was, like, totally confused and concerned. And I just said, you know, I have something I have to talk to you about, so can you come in Friday for lunch? And he said he would. He would do his best. So I don't know if he will or not. We'll see.

[Jeff]

I'll do my best.

[Melissa]

Did he look at you, like, confused?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. I mean, he looked a little confused. I'm never, like, you know, we don't talk about serious things. So I'm sure he was, you know, worried about it.

[Jeff]

So it's not like you guys even. You can't even say that you guys have a friendship. Like, he doesn't have your number. You don't have his number. Right.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Jeff]

So this is this. This woman that he sees working at the bar. Whenever he goes in there, all of a sudden has something Serious she wants to talk to him about. He must be like, what the hell is going on?

[Melissa]

I wonder if he thinks you want to borrow money. If he doesn't think immediately that you're interested in him, then that would be the secondary thing to go to, Right?

[Katie]

But how rude.

[Melissa]

Spends a lot of money with her.

[Katie]

He left the table with his wife, going to the bathroom, and you stop him to say, oh, can you come in tomorrow? Because I got something important to tell you.

[Burt]

Melissa, love is never rude.

[Katie]

Well, he loves his wife, and his wife loves him.

[Burt]

You don't know that. You don't know that.

[Katie]

I just think that, I mean, I don't know.

[Melissa]

That is really, really.

[Jeff]

It's desperate.

[Katie]

Lots of co. Yeah. I just think for you to do that.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's really out of line. It really is. Cuz he has no idea what's coming now.

[Burt]

Could be destiny.

[Justin Bieber]

Burt, I don't think he's coming back in today.

[Melissa]

I think you scared him.

[Katie]

God, I would be so offended, like, if I was somewhere with Katie and somebody pulled me aside to say, I need to tell you something, Melissa, and my girlfriend is right there. Like, I would think so much less of you for that.

[Burt]

I've actually done that.

[Jeff]

Katie, There are a couple of different stages of sort of weird here too, because they're not even friends, right? So this woman that he sees at the bar all of a sudden now says she wants to have a serious talk. He's not showing up.

[Melissa]

What would you do in that situation, Bert? Like, you and Stacey go 10 degrees south a whole lot, right? Like, say it was something like that. That situation where somebody from there pulled you aside or something.

[Jeff]

Like somebody that I see at the bar, but I don't really know that. I mean, I know her name, but don't know anything else about her.

[Melissa]

What would you think that that was?

[Jeff]

Even about as soon as I got in the car, I'd say to Stacey, I'm like, the weirdest thing happened. You know that waitress, you know the server, Jill? She said that she wanted me to come in tomorrow morning and she wanted to have a serious talk with me. Like, what the hell do you think could that be about?

[Melissa]

And Stacy would be like,

[Jeff]

it wouldn't even be in my zip code that it could be what she's about to say. So maybe Stacy would pick up on it. Would pick up on it. And I don't even. And I would say, stacey, you're out of your mind.

[Burt]

I don't even think that would be on Jessica's radar. I would Think it would be the money thing.

[Justin Bieber]

Women see things that dudes don't see.

[Jeff]

Like, she might have been seeing the.

[Melissa]

I think Jessica would question it.

[Burt]

I think we would have a long talk about it. And then she'd be like, you gotta go. You gotta find out what this is. It would be exciting.

[Jeff]

See, I think Stacey would go. Let me go in your place.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Cause if she wants to borrow money, she's gotta go through Stacey anyway.

[Melissa]

That's true.

[Jeff]

Jill, hold on one second. Somebody else wants to be on the Voice Disguiser, and I don't want you guys to be on it at the same time. Okay?

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, hold on.

[Jeff]

She sounds like she's got that tail between the legs. Nervous kind of. She knows she.

[Melissa]

She knows she's starting to get a little, like, crazy. Crazy eyes, psychologically creepy.

[Katie]

Yeah, she sounds a little off.

[Melissa]

Like she's got that look.

[Jeff]

Hey, Kim. Good morning. You're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Good morning.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. I had a similar situation as Jill and I actually did not make any move on the guy, and we just had kind of a mutual attraction. I waited until he was divorced. I mean, basically, he was in an unhappy marriage that neither one of us made any advances towards each other.

[Jeff]

Very, very different. Very different scenario.

[Katie]

Traction. Yeah.

[Jeff]

And she waited till after the divorce.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, he had three kids, and I did not in any way want to have any drama, you know, with all of that. So it turned out he was in an unhappy marriage. And after they got divorced, and it was probably almost a year after that, well, I mean, still single. And he came back in and we talked and went on some dates, and everything's great. And I have to face the ex, you know, as a step parent. And so it's been. I can look her dead in the face and not have any kind of guilt or, you know, anything like that. We have a great marriage. It worked out wonderful.

[Katie]

I think you handled it right. I mean, you both had a mutual. And you. And you saw the mutual attraction, but you respected your lives in order and waited for the right moment. I think the difference with Jill is, like I said, there is no evidence of a mutual attraction. And I think she's built this up in her head so much that she completely went over the line last night by stopping him on the way to the bathroom while his wife is in the bar. And I think it's going to backfire on her.

[Jeff]

Hey, Jessica, go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

I think you have this under the wrong segment. This should be stepping into psycho like she's a nut, you know, I mean, this is her. This is a random guy in her bar. It makes no sense. She doesn't know his name. I mean, she doesn't know anything about him. It's just nuts. And I agree with Melissa. What a trashy thing to do.

[Jeff]

Jill, if this was your brother, okay, and he was coming to you with the very same story about a woman that he sees in a bar from time to time, what would you think of that woman?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, obviously I can't relate to it, so I would think no one would think that it was. That it was fine or that she was like me. I wouldn't assume that she was some trashy person who didn't know anything about him. I mean, we know each other. We talk all the time. Like I said yesterday, we had lots of one on one conversations. So it's not like I don't know his name.

[Katie]

Did you said you don't have a serious conversation with him? Like you just said that we've never talked about anything serious. So I don't know what his reaction would be to what I said last night. I mean, it's just been on kind of lighthearted conversation in a bar. That's not a relationship.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, lots of friends just have lighthearted conversations and make each other laugh, right? I mean, how often do you sit down and like have serious discussions with

[Katie]

your friends and I don't have an affair with them just because I sat down and had a funny conversation with him.

[Melissa]

I don't think he's gonna show up today.

[Jeff]

I don't think he's gonna show up either.

[Justin Bieber]

Definitely not.

[Jeff]

The words I'll do my best don't really reek of I'll be there.

[Melissa]

No. That means no, right? And that means I'm trying to be nice, but no. He's scared of you.

[Burt]

We definitely will call you on Monday to find out, though.

[Jeff]

Oh, yes.

[Burt]

Yeah, we will.

[Jeff]

Here is Kim. Good morning, Kim. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest]

Good morning. Okay, I love the Burt show, but let me just say, okay, this girl is a loon. And I mean, the fact of the matter is that husband went home last night, he told his wife, and you know what? Her best thing is to just be quiet because she's going to like be out of a job by five o'clock today. Wives are territorial. She will call that lady's place of employment by the end of today.

[Melissa]

That's true. I hadn't even.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, the other day she was saying she didn't want to lose her social circle. Really? That's like the least of your concerns. Because when you go, this is the problem. This is the infidelity. If women just had a mutual respect for other women, half of this stuff wouldn't even happen.

[Burt]

Jen Hobby always likes to say women are women's own worst enemy.

[Katie]

Stop it,

[Jeff]

Jill. Is there any. I mean, this is the same situation we were in yesterday where everybody's gonna call up and tell you not to do it. And they're gonna tell you that if he shows up at all, he's gonna be confused and you may even lose your job over it. But you're gonna do what you want to do, right?

[Caller/Guest]

I have to do what I feel.

[Katie]

Oh, God, no, you don't. I mean, yeah, it's just. You have to be smart and you have to be respectful to somebody else. You're just so selfish.

[Melissa]

She's not la.

[Jeff]

Yeah, just go for it.

[Burt]

Doesn't matter.

[Jeff]

Go do your thing.

[Melissa]

Doesn't matter what we say.

[Jeff]

And then let's check back with you. We gotta get an update on Monday, but this is not gonna go well. I think we're all warning you right now, this cannot end well.

[Katie]

You already crossed the line.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know that. You all know that.

[Katie]

Yeah. Okay.

[Burt]

We're guessing.

[Melissa]

Just be prepared for the wife to walk in.

[Justin Bieber]

Not him.

[Jeff]

She may show up with him. What are you gonna do then? Let's role play this.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. I mean, I guess if I was in that situation, I have to just go through it and then maybe she.

[Melissa]

What?

[Caller/Guest]

Why should I go there anymore?

[Melissa]

So you're gonna tell the wife.

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So you're gonna tell the wife that

[Melissa]

you're in love with her husband?

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Jeff]

So you would say. I just.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. I don't think that will happen.

[Katie]

You know what? I think you should. I think you should. If you're really committed to this, I think you should tell the wife, too.

[Jeff]

How did we arrange it to make sure the wife shows up, too?

[Burt]

I don't know. Hey, can we have his number?

[Jeff]

Chill. You really got off the.

[Melissa]

She doesn't have it.

[Jeff]

Yeah, she doesn't have it.

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Jeff]

She doesn't even know him that well.

[Melissa]

It doesn't matter.

[Jeff]

She's in love with him. You need to.

[Melissa]

She doesn't need his number.

[Jeff]

Think about this from every angle because there are a whole bunch of different possibilities that happen here. A, he doesn't show up. B, he shows up with the wife. The wife shows up by herself. You got a lot of thinking to do.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, Not a lot of hours to lunch, but.

[Jeff]

All right. Good luck with that. Talk to you on Monday.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, thanks, guys.

[Jeff]

Okay, bye. Bye.

[Katie]

She's counted down to lunch. Five hours to lunch.

[Jeff]

TikTok five hours till he comes in my pocket.

[Burt]

I would like. I would, I would. Today I would come back and do a 30 minute show at 1.

[Jeff]

You know what? You know what? Today's special is destiny.

[Burt]

Get it?

[Jeff]

The bird show.

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[Jeff]

The Bird Show Southside. Steve here from our rock station, peeks his head in the door and said there's some uncomfortable. There's an obvious weirdness going on between he and Jen. Hobby.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it's real awkward.

[Jeff]

And it's a different awkward than there's been in the past where she denies you your sexual advances all the time. It's different.

[Justin Bieber]

It'll be okay.

[Burt]

What's going on?

[Jeff]

This is a different awkwardness. It is.

[Burt]

I can't really look her in the eye. I'm trying to. I've gotten to the point. Now I can glance at her.

[Justin Bieber]

What happened?

[Burt]

I had a dream.

[Jeff]

I had a dream. I had a dream, and I'll be honest with you.

[Burt]

It was Sunday night, leading into Martin Luther King Day. He had dreams.

[Jeff]

I just had one.

[Burt]

We all got dreams.

[Jeff]

Free at last, free at last.

[Burt]

Problem is, his was freedom and equality. Mine's gin.

[Jeff]

Okay, so it was one of those.

[Melissa]

I thought he was kind of rude in studio on Tuesday because we're buds, right?

[Jeff]

Yes, we are. We are.

[Melissa]

Talk about whatever. And so he came in Tuesday and was, like, chatting it up with everybody else in the studio and, like, ignored me. I'm like, did I do something to take him off? Like, that's weird. And then after the show, I saw him in the hallways and he was like, I gotta tell you something.

[Jeff]

Did she hurt you real bad, or was the dream so graphic that you were embarrassed that the second one graphic on her side, or are you apologizing for the things that you did? Both. I mean, I was the aggressor, but

[Burt]

once I went there, it was like, yeah, come out.

[Melissa]

Have you ever had those dreams where you wake up and you have to shake it off? Like, was that real or not?

[Jeff]

No, Usually I try to get back into it.

[Melissa]

No, I woke up. Go back to sleep.

[Burt]

I woke up that morning and I left the light on in the hall, and I expected to see Jen walking in to say, good morning.

[Jeff]

It was that vivid. That vivid, really.

[Burt]

I mean, we were an item. We were together. I don't even know how many years we'd been together.

[Jeff]

So it was more emotional than it was physical. There was a love in your dream?

[Burt]

Yes. I was like, Nicolas Cage the Family Man. She was.

[Jeff]

I mean, it was like that.

[Burt]

I was like, my God, this is. It was a whole secondary life. I mean, it must have been a five hour dream. But I woke up and we'd been through things and she had dropped a guy and I dropped a girl, and there'd been controversy and we'd been filmed

[Jeff]

and we were together.

[Burt]

She'd gotten a small dog, but I was okay with it because of what

[Jeff]

she wore around the house. We were together. You lived 30 years pretty much in three minutes.

[Melissa]

Hilarious.

[Justin Bieber]

Pretty much.

[Jeff]

Pretty much. And how did the dream end? Did it end in a breakup or. It ended well. And that's what shook you?

[Burt]

It ended, I think, with us just having lunch. I mean, it just. I woke up and we were in the middle of what we're doing. There was no. There was no ending. I mean, it's like we're.

[Jeff]

We're together. So when I saw her here, I

[Burt]

was like, you know, honey, thanks for not, you know, riding into work with me.

[Jeff]

We could have gone together. And I realized, steve, it's a dream. And then I'm like, but I don't

[Burt]

know what to do. So I couldn't look at her.

[Jeff]

You still can't? I can't.

[Melissa]

I know. It's weird.

[Burt]

It'll take time.

[Melissa]

Do you remember when this happened to me? Years ago. Years and years and years ago. And I had that dream about the artist formerly known as Phil Tirana. And I could not talk to. I couldn't. I was, like, so embarrassed because of the things that I had in my dream about him.

[Jeff]

That's right.

[Melissa]

And it was so. It was just like, so vivid and real, and it was like, whoa.

[Jeff]

I really do think it's a different level. The things that you were doing to Phil Turana, I'm sure, are pretty basic compared to the things that he was doing to you in this stream. Yeah.

[Burt]

You've got abilities you don't even know you have.

[Melissa]

Maybe you need to fill me in and teach me some things.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I will.

[Burt]

We'll start class when I can look at you.

[Melissa]

Okay. Thanks, Steve.

[Burt]

Thank you, guys. All right. The Burt Show. There's a story. It came out last week, and I don't think Melissa didn't talk about it. Cause it was. The story would have been reported on a Friday. And some things you just shouldn't think about all weekend.

[Katie]

Yeah, I mean. Cause especially on Fridays, I just run out of time because we do the good news at the end of the day. So I just. I thought this was. Didn't qualify as a good news story. But Jeff did.

[Burt]

Yeah, that's how I said it. When I got the news bulletin or whatever, I forwarded it to Melissa and said, for good news, Cass, there is a story. The city is about 75 miles from Atlanta. Do you remember what town it was? It's a suburb.

[Katie]

I stop ahead. I do not.

[Burt]

Okay, it's suburb of Atlanta. Well, anyways, this kid goes to school and he tells his teacher that he told his mom about a bad grade that he had got.

[Melissa]

He had gotten lots of bad grades.

[Burt]

Yeah, it was either his report card or a paper or something. But whatever this bad grade was that he told his mom about, as he explained to his teacher, she got really mad.

[Melissa]

Mom did.

[Burt]

Mom got really big and made him do something very bad. Made him kill one of his pets.

[Melissa]

So he told this story to the teacher.

[Burt]

To the teacher.

[Katie]

He reported it to the teacher that his mom. It was a hamster. And he was supposed to use, you know, a hammer, and he was supposed to get rid of the hamster as a punishment for having bad grades.

[Burt]

So that was the story. And so your first thought is, oh, my God. And, you know, Burt has this theory that he always throws out. Mathematically, there's the worst of something. You know what I mean? There's the worst truck driver. There's the worst news reporter. There's the worst police officer. You can't find a worst parent than this. This is the worst parent in the books of parenting. All of them unbelievable. Like, you make your child so, you know, it's shocking, revolting, everything. I read something over the weekend that this woman is, you know, like the president of the pta. Really well liked all this other stuff.

[Katie]

She's in jail.

[Burt]

She's in jail right now for this. Obviously arrested for this. I read something this weekend that the kid has a little bit of a lying problem.

[Melissa]

A little bit of a lying problem or a lot of bit of a lying problem?

[Burt]

Well, enough lying problem that there are. Some of her friends are coming out saying, this is not. Why is she in jail? How come everybody's taking the word of the kid like this is not. This could be. The kid could be having a disciplinary meltdown. He's a bad kid. He gets bad grades. He gets in trouble at school all the time. I think I read that she has more than one kid. Could you imagine if you did something as a child that resulted in your parent. Now, I'm assuming that she didn't do it, because if she did do it, then she's a Horrible person. And that's awful and you don't deserve your kids and blah, blah.

[Katie]

But for the sake of this argument,

[Burt]

for the sake of this argument, not do it. Imagine if you did something as a child that resulted in your mom or dad spending the weekend in jail falsely. Yes.

[Melissa]

Like you told a lie.

[Burt]

Yes.

[Melissa]

That resulted in your mom or dad going to jail.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

I don't even, you know what, like, made up the story. Telling a tall tale, trying to like be a brat and be defensive and is like, oh, mom's going to make me be in trouble. Watch this. And then she ends up in prison.

[Katie]

Yeah. I'd end up in a grave if I did that to my parents.

[Justin Bieber]

I'd want to stay in jail. No, my mom better stay in jail because I don't want that kind of beating.

[Burt]

And I don't. It doesn't have to. I mean, the made up thing makes it worse. But even. What if you were a kid? Because, you know, there's some things that, like, the parents get in trouble for. Like, I know some states passed a law that if the kid misses so much school, they can actually arrest the parent type of thing.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Burt]

It's like, what even if you didn't make it up, what if you just did something that resulted in your mom or dad being arrested?

[Melissa]

No, no, no. I would not see to live the next day. Yeah.

[Katie]

That's just the definition of red right there,

[Burt]

I would say.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

Keep them in there because that.

[Katie]

No. Yeah, no, I don't want to see them afterwards.

[Melissa]

Unbelievable.

[Burt]

Yeah. And you know that there are, you know, if this kid made up the total. The story completely, it's.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Burt]

How do you even. Yeah. Hey, Bird show.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi, this is Stephanie Bishop.

[Burt]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. I was wanting to comment. Whenever I was little, I had told my teacher that my mom beat me.

[Burt]

Oh, Lord.

[Caller/Guest]

I know. And I just got occasionally whooping and Defects reported it coming. My teacher reported it and my mom got investigated by defects for three whole months.

[Melissa]

Because you got a spanking.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, And I just got a spanking and mama wanted to kill me.

[Burt]

Well, at some point she couldn't because

[Katie]

defects was watching her.

[Burt]

At some point, there's no turning back.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Burt]

Like, once that investigation is launched, there's no turning back. You are the reason that your parent is in jail.

[Katie]

See, and it's a whole different era because I, When I was a kid, I, you know, if I went to my teacher and I said, my parents are spanking me, you know, or beating me or whatever, then the parent would probably call my mom and say, okay, this is what Melissa said.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And have a discussion with my mom about it. Because back in the day, parents and teachers worked together to raise the kid. But nowadays, like she said, defects gets involved. The parents have to report it to

[Melissa]

the police, the teacher has to report it. I'm sure there's some sort of obligation for her. I know, but I'm saying that she

[Katie]

doesn't know the parents well enough to call them up front.

[Burt]

Yeah. Like I think that it's a whole different world back in my.

[Katie]

Yeah. And it was okay. Well, anyway.

[Burt]

Yeah. The look on my parents face after they get released from jail is one that I will never want to see. I will never see it because I'll be turned the other way, running as fast as I can.

[Katie]

And there's a look, there's a parent look that I guess you just give, you know. Yeah.

[Jeff]

The bird show.

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[Jeff]

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[Justin Bieber]

Hey. Q100.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my gosh. I'm Justin Bieber.

[Jeff]

Yep.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God. I'm here with my best friend Katie.

[Jeff]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller/Guest]

We're in love with you. You're amazing.

[Justin Bieber]

Oh, thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, this is.

[Jeff]

Look, Madison, this is the one time, time you have to say whatever you wanted to to Justin Bieber. This is your moment to shine. Focus, girl, focus.

[Justin Bieber]

Do you have any, do you have any questions?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. What does it feel like when you're just like all normal for like one minute and then like you're famous the next?

[Jeff]

It's a really good question.

[Justin Bieber]

That is a great question. I mean, I just kind of take it one step at a time. When, when I go out, I don't really think about it. I just kind of do it. It's kind of part of my daily activities now.

[Jeff]

I was just talking to your dude here, Scott, who is with the record company. And do you guys realize that if we have the timing down right on this, the first time that we had Justin in studio was only seven months ago. Really?

[Caller/Guest]

Really.

[Melissa]

Was it really when you came in with Usher?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, that was seven months ago.

[Jeff]

It's like nobody knew who this dude was seven months ago.

[Melissa]

Wow. Well, a lot of People on the Internet did.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Like your youngest, like, your Internet savvy fans definitely did.

[Burt]

You know, the kids who get on

[Melissa]

the Internet, you know, the people who don't have D.

[Jeff]

This is like, I don't think that Scott and I were just talking about this, that what is happening to Justin now was even possible 10 years ago because of the Internet, because of Twitter now and Facebook. This dude, in six months has seen more success than most artists don't do in 20 years. And that's because Facebook and the Internet has changed the game totally.

[Melissa]

Right?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah. I mean, it's so much. It's a different time zone. Like, people 10 years ago didn't have that opportunity to put things on the Internet and have it blow up so fast. It's been. It's been really fun.

[Jeff]

There has to be some kind of, like, who are we talking to? The other day, Fantasia Barrino, like, when you're coming up through the ranks, right?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Like the old. The. In the olden days when people started off and they started off small and then they got really big ten years later, they learned a lot of lessons about the industry as they were sort of going through it. You haven't had that chance because you've only been doing this six months.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

How.

[Jeff]

What mistakes have you made, do you think, over the last six months that you might have learned? Have you. Had you done this the old school way?

[Justin Bieber]

Well, I haven't. I mean, I haven't really made any big mistakes, really, at all. So obviously, I'm gonna have to. I'll get back to you on that one. Once I make a big mistake.

[Melissa]

Well, I mean, I think because he's so young, your mom's still really involved, right?

[Justin Bieber]

Yes.

[Melissa]

And you have good people around you watching your money. And watch. And, you know, the contracts that you're signing and the business deals that you're making, right?

[Justin Bieber]

Yes.

[Melissa]

Yeah. So people you trust are making those decisions, you know?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Do you actually look at the contracts at all, or do they tell you what the contracts are?

[Justin Bieber]

I have my. My lawyer brief me. I don't just sign things just. Just to sign. Oh, sign here and I just sign it. No, no, I. I get my lawyer to brief me on stuff, and I kind of. I trust him, so.

[Burt]

But I was 15. My lawyer briefed me on stuff, too. My lawyer. I met my dad.

[Melissa]

I need to know coolest person that you've met so far on tour, traveling around Beyonce.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Oh, really?

[Justin Bieber]

I tell you guys, I have the biggest crush on Beyonce.

[Jeff]

You do? Come on, now. Really?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

You know, Jay, it can never be

[Justin Bieber]

possible, but, I mean, it's just a fantasy.

[Burt]

How was Taylor Swift when you busted up your foot?

[Justin Bieber]

Oh, Taylor Swift.

[Advertisement Narrator]

She was.

[Justin Bieber]

She was really cool. I got to go and do some shows with her and I broke my foot on stage. So, I mean, it wasn't.

[Burt]

Is it all better now?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, it's good. It's good. I have both shoes on now.

[Melissa]

Are you and Taylor gonna write together?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I would love to write with Taylor. We haven't done it yet, but when

[Jeff]

you meet the celebrities now, do they know who you are?

[Justin Bieber]

I mean, some of them do.

[Jeff]

Who have you met? It's like, oh, my God, I'm a big fan. Or my daughter or my niece or whoever's a big fan.

[Justin Bieber]

I was at in New York watching a basketball game and Celine. No. Yes, Celine Dion comes up to me and introduces herself and says, hi, my son's a big fan. Can he take a picture with you?

[Melissa]

That's cool.

[Burt]

Did she mention that she's the greatest singer in the world?

[Melissa]

No, she didn't.

[Justin Bieber]

She didn't happen to mention that.

[Melissa]

Are you excited about the Grammy Awards coming up?

[Justin Bieber]

Because seven months ago, I mean, that's

[Melissa]

not even a year.

[Justin Bieber]

So you.

[Melissa]

I mean, you got to watch the Grammys a year ago. Now you're going to be presenting.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I'm very excited. It's going to be a lot of fun. They haven't told me what I'm doing or what I'm presenting, but they're. They're just kind of. They're just going to throw me up there. Did you hear?

[Melissa]

I'm sorry.

[Jeff]

How do you not get nervous about something like that? You seem like this is all so, like, easy. Do you ever get nervous when stuff like that's presented to you?

[Justin Bieber]

Not really. I don't really get nervous.

[Burt]

Were you the first presenter after Kanye

[Justin Bieber]

screwed with Taylor swift for the VMAs?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Burt]

You were the first one up after that.

[Justin Bieber]

Yep.

[Burt]

That's a. That's something fun to recover from. And you brought your girl Beyonce into it, so you must have been like, let's go.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I was like, yeah.

[Jeff]

What was that like backstage when. After Kanye did that? Was it just crazy people?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, it was. I saw it. Cuz I was backstage getting ready to go on, so I wasn't out there watching it live. I saw it on the screen happen and I was like, whoa.

[Jeff]

Hmm. See, there's a guy that's been doing it for 25 years and he made. That's a big mistake. Just so you know, that's a big mistake.

[Melissa]

Did you hear about this We Are the World remake that they're gonna be doing?

[Justin Bieber]

Yes.

[Melissa]

For Haiti relief. I was wondering if you guys were jumping on that and getting involved. Cause they're gonna do it, I think the day after the Grammys, asking everybody to stay in LA one more day and doing, like this big video and everybody getting together to record the song.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah. They said they told us. Cause we were. I was gonna be involved. They asked me to be a part of it.

[Melissa]

O.

[Justin Bieber]

But they had canceled it.

[Melissa]

Oh, really?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Oh, that's too bad.

[Justin Bieber]

Yep.

[Melissa]

I was really looking forward to it. That'd be a cool thing, you know.

[Jeff]

Here's Melissa. Hey, Melissa, you're on with Justin Bieber.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my gosh. Hi. I just wanted to ask how you got started in the industry.

[Justin Bieber]

How I got started in the industry? Well, I was actually up in Canada and I just posted videos online of myself singing, and I got found by Usher, who flew me out and stuff. And that's kind of how the whole thing kind of started.

[Jeff]

I love the story because it's like, not this forced story of a kid that wanted to be famous. Right. You were just posting these videos for family, and all of a sudden they were exploding all over the Internet.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah. I never, like. Not once have I, like. Did I just say I wanted to be famous? Like, I was from a little town in Canada. It was like, nearly impossible to get famous, so I didn't even try. I was just doing it for fun.

[Jeff]

Do you ever get to go back to that little town in Canada?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I'm there. I went there for Christmas, and I'm there. I'm there. Every. Every.

[Burt]

He went there for the unveiling of his statue. The unveiling of the Justin Bieber elementary school.

[Justin Bieber]

The unveiling of the Justin Bieber $12 billion gold statue.

[Burt]

The new Bieber wing of the hospital.

[Justin Bieber]

This is my pose, the thinking man pose.

[Jeff]

Are there any kids now that, like, you used to ignore you when you, you know, back in the day when you were, like, 14, that all of a sudden want to be your best friend now that you're Justin Bieber?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, way back about 26,000 days ago. I'm just kidding. No, I mean, there's definitely people that are going to, like, suck up to me now that, like, I'm here and stuff.

[Burt]

Do you sniff them out pretty easily or any of them catch you off guard?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I mean, like, my friends that I've had my whole life are continuing with my Friends, and they're very supportive. But people that weren't my friends now want to be my friends. I'm like, you know, it's a little shady, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Mm.

[Jeff]

How about some of the girls that didn't want anything to do with you a couple years ago, and now you're Justin Bieber, and all of a sudden, whoa. Have you had the. I mean, because there's a sense of.

[Justin Bieber]

I've had that. I've had that happen.

[Jeff]

Did you turn them down on purpose?

[Justin Bieber]

I don't know. I mean, right now I'm so busy on the road, I don't really get the chance to hang out with a lot of girls.

[Melissa]

Do you think about girls much, or is it.

[Justin Bieber]

I think I'm 15. I think about girls every second of it. The question is, right now I'm thinking about girls. Right now I'm thinking about girls.

[Jeff]

How about right now?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, I'm thinking about girls.

[Burt]

The question that Twitter is gonna hang us for if we don't ask, do you currently have a girlfriend?

[Justin Bieber]

I currently do not have a girlfriend.

[Jeff]

There was slight hesitation in there, though. What's going on?

[Justin Bieber]

Nothing. I was trying to give a dramatic pause.

[Melissa]

Use her for effect.

[Jeff]

Yeah, duh. So there's no one girl that you're more in touch with than somebody else?

[Melissa]

There's not one less lonely girl.

[Justin Bieber]

There's not one less lonely girl right now.

[Burt]

If a girl wanted to be your girlfriend, what is the best opening line for her to use with you?

[Justin Bieber]

The best opening line? I don't know. I'm not really, like. I don't just. I don't know. I don't pick one line.

[Burt]

Okay, so then the second most important question, according to Twitter, how does one get you to follow them?

[Justin Bieber]

Get me to follow them? Well, it's so random. I just kind of click follow to all my. Like, random.

[Burt]

So when you're online, you just pick 10 people, click it, and that's it?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

There's no science to it.

[Justin Bieber]

Try to make their day.

[Melissa]

I think it would work if you were Beyonce Knowles. Yes.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

That would be awesome. Yeah.

[Jeff]

Good morning, Isabella. You are on with Justin. Justin Bieber.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello.

[Justin Bieber]

Hey. How are you?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God. I'm much better. I woke up really upset.

[Justin Bieber]

Oh, why'd you wake up upset?

[Jeff]

I thought.

[Caller/Guest]

I miss you.

[Jeff]

Pardon?

[Caller/Guest]

I thought I was gonna miss talking to you.

[Justin Bieber]

Aw. Well, you're here and. Do you have any questions?

[Caller/Guest]

Pardon?

[Justin Bieber]

Do you have any questions?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Will you marry me?

[Melissa]

No.

[Advertisement Narrator]

I'm kidding.

[Caller/Guest]

How do you get your hair like that? It's so perfect.

[Justin Bieber]

Oh, thank you.

[Jeff]

Jeff was about to ask the same question.

[Burt]

I'm glad you asked that.

[Justin Bieber]

All right, so basically, I wake up, I have a shower, and then after I have the shower, I blow dry my hair and just shake it. And then it just goes like that.

[Caller/Guest]

I love it when you shake it.

[Burt]

Thank you.

[Melissa]

Stop it.

[Justin Bieber]

I would say that same thing to Beyonce. I love it when you shake it.

[Burt]

You know, looking actually at the two of you, Burt and Justin have very similar haircuts, kind of.

[Jeff]

Well, here's how you can tell us apart now that he's taller now. And he made that perfectly known when he came in.

[Justin Bieber]

Yes, I grew. Last time I was shorter. And now I've outgrown you a little bit.

[Burt]

You suck.

[Melissa]

He's just gonna keep rubbing that in.

[Jeff]

I mean, as soon as he tore into the studio and went back to. Back to show me that he's taller now.

[Burt]

Well, what we usually do is, and this sounds insult, but Bert goes along with it for the most part. But when we have a really tall guest or a child guest in studio, we make them pose for a picture with Burt, because the tall one's just funny, and the kid one is the only one where Bert's at even level. So we did that last time, and Bert had about an inch on Justin.

[Jeff]

Yeah. And I promise that kid's never allowed back in here.

[Burt]

Right.

[Justin Bieber]

I'm here.

[Jeff]

Here's Elizabeth. Hey, Elizabeth, you're on with Justin Bieber.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey. So there's a rumor going around that you're going to Woodward next year.

[Justin Bieber]

I am actually not going to Woodward next year.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay. Because we know you have a friend here.

[Justin Bieber]

Yes, I do have a friend there, but I am not going there.

[Burt]

There's also a rumor going around that you're going to pace. That you're going to Walton, that you're going to Riverwood.

[Jeff]

It's every city. Because we heard this rumor a couple of weeks ago. And I text Scooter and he wrote back that every city you go to has the same rumor.

[Justin Bieber]

Every city?

[Jeff]

Yeah, that you're gonna be going to a different. So how does school work for you?

[Justin Bieber]

I have a tutor that travels with me and stuff. She actually lives in Atlanta and she.

[Caller/Guest]

She.

[Justin Bieber]

We're here right now, so she's here too. But like, later today after this, I gotta go and tutor and it sucks.

[Burt]

No better than real school.

[Justin Bieber]

Not at all. Cuz I have to. Like, after this, I have to go tutor. And then right after tutoring, I have to go finish, like, go to the recording studio. So you're tired? I have no days. I have no time off.

[Jeff]

You're tired. You want a little tired on those small periods where you do have time off? Like, what do you do?

[Justin Bieber]

I sleep.

[Jeff]

Yeah?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah. And I mean, I'm. I don't know. I just hang out. My friends.

[Melissa]

Your friends? Like, ludicrous.

[Justin Bieber]

Go. Go to the movies with girls and stuff.

[Jeff]

You thinking about girls right now?

[Justin Bieber]

I am.

[Burt]

When's the last time you were on a date?

[Justin Bieber]

Last time I was on a date?

[Burt]

Yep.

[Justin Bieber]

I was. It was about three weeks ago.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah.

[Burt]

And did you. You asked the girl out?

[Justin Bieber]

Me?

[Melissa]

No.

[Burt]

She asked you out?

[Justin Bieber]

No, it was kind of like a mutual.

[Burt]

Like Craigslist.

[Caller/Guest]

Casual encounters?

[Melissa]

No. How did it work? How did you guys, like, hang out?

[Justin Bieber]

EBay. I'm just kidding. No, we were. I don't know. We were just like. It was. I was at. I was in the Bahamas, and then I just met her, and I was like, hey, do you want to come hang out? And then we just went and hung out.

[Melissa]

Is she famous?

[Justin Bieber]

She's not famous.

[Jeff]

Well, she will be once the pictures get out.

[Burt]

Yeah. Has TMZ and all those places left you alone? Like, are you.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah. I mean, they're not mean to me. They. I mean, they talk about me, but they're not. They haven't really said anything. My boy Kenny Hamilton has been on tmz. You seen him? That fool.

[Burt]

I was looking at TMZ one day and scrolling down, and I saw, you know, Justin. Oh, it was a picture where they thought Justin was flipping off the camera.

[Justin Bieber]

Oh, yeah.

[Burt]

But he was.

[Justin Bieber]

I was doing the peace sign, and they were trying to get me for it.

[Burt]

And I looked at it. I'm like, man, he wasn't flipping. Oh, it's Kenny.

[Jeff]

I know him.

[Burt]

So Kenny will be having a meet and greet after this.

[Jeff]

Hey, tell us about the song with Ludacris. Cause I want to play some of that.

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, the song is. I mean, it was a lot of fun to record. I recorded it in New York. It was. It was great. Ludus part is awesome. And. Yeah, it is actually number two on iTunes.

[Jeff]

Yeah, already, man.

[Justin Bieber]

Which is great.

[Jeff]

So how does this work behind the scenes? Do you tell your people that you really want to work with Ludacris, or does he tell somebody? How does that work?

[Justin Bieber]

When I actually first moved to Atlanta, I met. Met Ludacris. I went out. I went to his restaurant with Scooter. Scooter knows everybody and. And knew Luda and introduced me. So I kind of made A relationship with him early. Early on. So he. He was glad to get on the track.

[Jeff]

Okay.

[Burt]

Yeah, I bet he was.

[Jeff]

Yeah. No doubt.

[Melissa]

What's this deal with the golden ticket stuff? Because I see your tweets about that. What is that?

[Justin Bieber]

Yeah, the golden ticket. No one has found it, oddly enough.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Justin Bieber]

But people. I mean, go get it. Go buy the out. It's like, if you buy the album, there's a. There's a chance to win a golden ticket, which is like, you get to. First prize is I get to come to your house and perform for you and your family.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh.

[Justin Bieber]

And. And then the second prize is you get to be in a Justin Bieber music video.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Melissa]

Second prize.

[Jeff]

That's impressive.

[Burt]

I'm pretty sure I found one on Christmas but threw away with my wrapping paper.

[Jeff]

That's Justin Bieber with a guy called Ludacris, baby. Number two, most downloaded song already on itunes, man. I mean, there's just, like. There's no end for this kid.

[Melissa]

And all of his fans in studio already know, like, all the words to that song. I'm like, wait, this is brand new. How do you know all the words already? They're singing it word for word.

[Justin Bieber]

YouTube.

[Burt]

I'm gonna assume that she's asking for someone else, but my wife just sent me a text message and wanted to know what type of girl you like. Please, please don't say older, blonde, and married.

[Justin Bieber]

You know, I like girls. I mean, older, blonde, married. No, I like girls. I mean, I like a girl with nice eyes, a nice smile, a girl that can make me laugh. I like to laugh because everybody likes to laugh.

[Katie]

He just likes girls.

[Jeff]

Jeff really don't like to laugh.

[Justin Bieber]

I just really love girls.

[Jeff]

We're gonna give you a break this morning, but I'd like you to do something for me the next time you're in studio, okay?

[Justin Bieber]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Have you been watching American Idol at all? Are you too busy for that?

[Justin Bieber]

I haven't. I don't even. Yeah. The only thing I know is that guy from Atlanta, that pants on the

[Jeff]

ground guy, that's the guy I want to focus on right here.

[Justin Bieber]

Pants on the ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground yes. Gold in your mouth Hat turned sideways Looking like a fool walking, talking with your pants on the ground

[Jeff]

I was going to give you a break and ask you to do it in the studio, but.

[Burt]

Pants on the ground, Pants on the ground.

[Jeff]

There's your guy right here.

[Caller/Guest]

Look.

[Jeff]

Looking like a fool with your pants

[Burt]

on the ground with the gold in your mouth hat Turn sideways, pants hit

[Jeff]

the ground Call yourself a cool cat

[Burt]

Looking like a fool walking downtown with your pants on the background.

[Jeff]

Let's hear your version now.

[Justin Bieber]

My version is pants on the ground, Pants on the ground Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground with your hat turned sideways gold in your mouth walking, talking with your pants all the time yeah, looking like a.

[Jeff]

Hey, man, thanks for coming.

[Justin Bieber]

I don't have the awesome dance moves he has, though.

[Jeff]

Yeah, not yet.

[Burt]

Well, you have a hurt foot and stuff. We forgive you. It'll be better soon. You can do it then.

[Jeff]

All right, Justin Bieber.

[Justin Bieber]

I think I saw that guy on the marta.

[Jeff]

Welcome back to Atlanta, man. It's good to have you back. Appreciate it. Next time you're back, come on back in studio. All right. Get some sleep, too. You're gonna stunt your growth. You could be stuck right there. It's what happened to me.

[Burt]

He had one goal and it was to be taller than you, and he accomplished it. So he doesn't care now. He's totally fine.

[Jeff]

The first show.

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[Burt]

The Birch show so Jen Hobby went to hypnosis, what, five or six days

[Melissa]

ago on Wednesday of last week? Yep.

[Burt]

And how's it going?

[Melissa]

I went to hypnosis to stop smoking and I haven't had a cigarette since.

[Katie]

Congratulations. I think that's fantastic.

[Melissa]

It's kind of crazy, you know, because I don't think it's like this like light switch quick fix thing. Like, you know, I don't really believe in anything in your life that, you know, taking a pill or doing one thing like changes a habit or makes you different forever. I mean, I think everything takes a lot of effort, but I would definitely recommend it. And you know, but after, you know, I've struggled with cigarettes and smoking and back and forth in my life for a long time. And I know that anytime I ever heard anybody on the radio talking about it, I thought they were gonna get on some sort of pedestal and preach to me. So for those of you who are having your coffee and your cigarette right now, enjoy it. I get it. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna preach to you. I am not gonna stand on this pedestal and shake my finger at you. And I don't, you know, I just, I was over it. I was sick of it. And I know that everybody who smokes has been in that place before. And hypnosis so gave me that launching pad to start a fresh new life and being free from it. So anyway, I just kind of wanted to say that at the beginning because I know there's a lot of guilt that comes with smoking cigarettes. There's a lot of. You feel badly about yourself, but you're not gonna quit until. Excuse me. Until you're absolutely ready. Until it's your time and you've made up your mind and that kind of thing. So until then, do your thing. But when you're ready to. I think that hypnosis is a great option.

[Burt]

Do you attribute the success you've had for these five days to you being mentally ready to do it or the hypnosis?

[Melissa]

Both. I think you've got to be really ready to do it and really committed to doing it, because after the hypnosis you're still Gonna have cravings. I still have cravings for it. I told you guys last week. I felt really thirsty, like really dehydrated for some reason, a lot. So I've been like drinking lots and lots of water and like, you know, and the cravings definitely come back or the headaches, those kind of withdrawal symptoms. You're gonna have those regardless to me of what you do. Now. I've heard from some people that did the Chantix route, they had a lot of success with that and they said they had no side effects. Other people had really terrible side effects. So I think anything that helps you launch into a place where you're not smoking more is great. And whatever it is that works for you, great. There's a couple of books out there, one of them called the Easy Way to Stop Smoking. It's been around since like the 70s. A lot of people have success with that. So I really think it's like anything that sort of changes your mind about how you want to function inside of your own demons and your own habits and your own addictions, you know.

[Burt]

So in the last five days, have you gone back to the hypnosis in your mind when you.

[Melissa]

Yeah, a lot of different times. First of all, he told me a craving lasts for 10 seconds, which seems so insignificant, doesn't it?

[Advertisement Narrator]

It is very short period.

[Melissa]

But when it hits you, it hits you like a ton of bricks. Like, I gotta have one right now.

[Burt]

Somebody said that the craving, like the chemical or whatever, maybe this is what he's talking about. Like the thing in your brain that makes you want something is instant, which is probably the 10 seconds. And then what people have to deal with is it goes into the thought process of the brain and then they think they're craving it when they're not really craving it.

[Melissa]

Yeah. So if you just kind of let it go when that 10 second craving happens and think about something else or just the one thing I've been thinking about in my mind. The thing I sort of. The dialogue in my mind that I keep going back to is it's like, oh, you're having a craving right now. It's like, oh, that stinks. But that's okay because you don't smoke anymore. And I don't know why, but that is the dialogue I keep telling myself. Yeah. And it came from hypnosis. It's like, well, that's okay because you just don't smoke anymore. Or I'll come up with scenarios where I'll think, like, in the future, oh, I'm gonna go out with my girlfriends on such. And this day that I have on the calendar coming up soon, I'm like, yeah, that's gonna really stink that I can't smoke. And I'm like, yeah, but that's okay. Cause you don't smoke anymore. I don't know why that's the dialogue

[Katie]

in my mind, if it works.

[Melissa]

But it's. Yeah, it's been what's working. And so that was something that he had said, I think, or something close to that in the hypnosis. It's like, but that's okay because I don't smoke anymore. Like, yeah, you know what? That might suck for about 10 seconds. Maybe that's gonna suck for about five minutes. But I'll have a sip of water, I'll think about something else and get into a different conversation or turn up the radio and listen to a song or whatever it is, and then it's gone. And then it's another, you know, couple of hours before that happens again. So it's just being willing to go through those moments without giving in and without having that instant gratification. Gratification of having one.

[Burt]

Cause I know you hid out in the woods a good distance away from any packs of cigarettes this weekend.

[Melissa]

I did.

[Burt]

Did you drink at all?

[Melissa]

I did.

[Burt]

And did you feel any weaker when you were.

[Melissa]

No, because I wasn't around anybody who smoked, and there was no temptation of it even being around. So I guess I thought of it, but not any more often than I thought of it when I wasn't having. I just drink the wine. Because I went to some wine tastings at the wineries in North Georgia, and so I thought about it.

[Burt]

You never drank a little bit of wine?

[Melissa]

No, I did.

[Burt]

Because my concern.

[Katie]

You didn't spit out, though, like, they asked you.

[Melissa]

I didn't do the spittoon thing.

[Katie]

No, because you're like, why am I going. Why is good wine.

[Burt]

Because they generally. Part of what you said beforehand was. And it's happened in the past, that when you go out drinking, like you had quit for a while, and that's how it started up again. You go out, have some drinks, light

[Melissa]

up, then it's much more available, right? You don't even think about it until something's around. Like the other thing I did this week, I'm doing a little shopping at the North Georgia outlets, those premium outlets up there, and somebody was sitting on the bench having a cigarette, and I was like, I hadn't even thought of it all day until I smelled it. And then I was like, Oh, I don't like you, lady. You know, because I was like. It was just like. That reminds me of.

[Burt]

Does it really smell good?

[Melissa]

No, it's just a reminder.

[Burt]

So it's not like the most delicious pizza you've ever eaten?

[Melissa]

Not at all. It's just a reminder. It's like, oh, I wasn't even thinking about that until I walked by you.

[Burt]

And what about the habits and stuff? Like after the show, you always went down and.

[Melissa]

Well, actually I kind of stopped that habit for a while. I wasn't smoking here at the office very often. And it's just one of those things where I just kind of keep going back to that. It's like, well, that's gonna sink for a second, but that's okay. Cause I don't smoke anymore.

[Katie]

Good for you.

[Burt]

I am fascinated by the.

[Melissa]

But I wanted to mention the hypnosis. I wanted to mention Sean Wheeler is. And it's called pure hypnosis. And he can help anything from smoking cessation to fear of flying, to all kinds of different phobias. Those are his specialties. So if you have a strange phobia, I think I said last week he helped one woman with her Mountain Dew addiction. That she had been drinking 8 to 12 Mountain Dews a day for like 10 years straight or something crazy like that. And she'd never had a Mountain Dew again after that session. It just changes your mind and changes the way that you think about yourself and. And who you want to be. And you can sort of rely on those things when it. When those more difficult times come up and when those cravings come up.

[Burt]

So I almost wonder if Melissa should go talk to him before Bird's big adventure.

[Melissa]

I think you would enjoy it.

[Burt]

I mean, it's the best sleep you've ever gotten.

[Melissa]

It's a two hour session and if it works, hey, why not? Yeah, and for Katie, too.

[Katie]

Yeah, she's worse than I am.

[Melissa]

I mean, you guys could even ask him about going in together maybe. That may be kind of a cool experience to have together. Both get hypnotized. I don't know if he can hypnotize two people at all.

[Burt]

Like that Britney Spears song, the Three of you.

[Katie]

Yeah, threesome. Yeah, just like that, Jeff.

[Melissa]

But if it can change your mind about it and change your life and sort of give you some freedom, why not?

[Burt]

You know the Birch Show.

[Justin Bieber]

Hey, everybody.

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[Melissa]

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[Jeff]

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