Full Show PT 2: Friday, March 13 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, March 13 [Vault]

Date: March 13, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Crew

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into real-life listener stories about how tough economic times are pushing people into the sex industry, including escorting and various forms of sex work. The hosts tackle the topic with humor and empathy as callers candidly share their experiences and motivations. The conversation then shifts to a lighter but equally honest discussion on the pressures of being present in the delivery room during childbirth, featuring more stories of unexpected behavior (from partners and even staff) during this pivotal moment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Economy and the New Rise in Sex Work

(01:01 – 16:12)

• News Segment Set-Up: The show kicks off with news audio detailing how the economic downturn is increasing the number of job-seekers turning to legal brothels like the Bunny Ranch. There's a noted uptick in applicants with diverse backgrounds, many well-educated and from various walks of life.

  • Standout Quote [02:39]:
    "What I do see change are ladies with great educations, master's degrees, and women that come from all walks of lives. It's a lot different than 20 years ago..." — Air Force Amy

• Language Preferences: The hosts discuss discomfort with different terminology ("hooker" vs "prostitute" vs "escort").

  • Memorable Quip [03:03]:
    "I don't know why the word hooker to me is so crass, but a prostitute doesn't bother me at all." — Host 2

• Listener Call-Ins – Personal Stories:

  • Todd (Male Escort) [04:13 – 07:06]:
    Todd shares how he began escorting as a college student due to financial hardship. He and friends started independently, sometimes sharing clients. He has a mix of male and female clients, charges start at $150 for a meet-and-greet, and high-end trips have netted up to $4,000 for a weekend.

    • Notable Moment [06:44]:
      "I've had clients that have flown me out of the country, and... those really go up to like three or four thousand for a weekend." — Todd

  • Emily (Performs Sex Acts for Voyeurism) [07:17 – 11:12]:
    Turning to sex work due to minimum wage struggles, Emily and a platonic friend began performing sexual acts for an audience, charging around $200 per viewing. She views it as strictly business, not advertising it widely.

    • Interesting Detail [09:04]:
      "We're not like intimate together unless we're getting paid." — Emily

  • Jamie (Fetish/Companionship) [11:41 – 12:54]:
    Jamie talks about performing fetish work (no actual sex), such as being spanked, for money at the request of a married friend during hard times.

  • Tim (Partner with Girlfriend) [13:16 – 15:58]:
    Tim describes encouraging his girlfriend to pursue escort work after being solicited online. He claims he would not be personally bothered if she participated, seeing it as an economic necessity, but the hosts question how he'd actually feel once things became real.

    • Provocative Quote [14:28]:
      "That means she’d be hooking up with other dudes?" — Host 1
      "Yeah. I mean, it just. It don't bother me." — Tim

• Hosts’ Reflections:

  • The team expresses a mix of uneasiness and fascination, acknowledging the desperation some face but also questioning the emotional toll and future feelings around such choices.
    • "I'm uncomfortable because it's so sad." — Host 1 [07:08]
    • "Desperate times. You're in a slump." — Host 4 [11:34]

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2. Delivery Room Dilemmas: Nerves, Drunk Partners & Surprising Stories

(18:11 – 27:43)

• The Male Perspective on Childbirth:

  • Jeff admits he'd rather not be in the delivery room due to the fear of passing out, sparking a conversation about societal expectations and the loss of male choice in this scenario.
    • "My frustration comes from the fact that at some point in the past two decades, the opportunity to decide that has been taken away from men." — Jeff [18:32]

• Drunk or High in the Delivery Room — Listener Calls:

  • Autumn [20:33 – 20:59]:
    Recounts her ex-husband being "accidentally drunk" during her labor, so sick that the nurse checked on him instead of her.

    • "As soon as my water breaks, he promptly gets up and throws up in the bathroom." — Autumn [20:39]

  • Pamela [21:19 – 22:52]:
    Her husband smoked weed to get through childbirth nerves, despite claiming he wouldn't participate, then eagerly pushed the doctor aside to cut the cord.

  • Jennifer [23:12 – 24:21]:
    Says her husband got drunk at a benefit when she went into early labor, leaving her to drive herself to the hospital.

    • “I was like, you know, my car is in emergency parking. It's only good for half an hour. Drunk husband can’t go move it...” — Jennifer [24:16]

  • Rachel [24:30 – 25:23]:
    Shares that her mother’s doctor was drunk during labor, which led to her own birth injury—a fact only pieced together later.

    • "My doctor was drunk when I was delivered. I have an arm injury from it because my arm was the first part of my body that he could hold on to." — Rachel [24:44]

  • Tiffany [26:40 – 27:32]:
    Her husband took Percocet from his grandmother before coming into the delivery room and nearly passed out.

    • "It puts you in a different category... if your grandparents are your drug supplier!" — Host 2 [27:33]

• Hosts’ Reflections and Humor:

  • The team jokes about the recurring theme of partners "self-medicating" to get through childbirth and the absurdity of getting medical supplies (like celebratory cigars) from places like Walmart.
  • There’s also a serious note regarding the frequency of medical professionals working while intoxicated, with the hosts sharing personal anecdotes from nurses and emphasizing how common—and concerning—this really is.
    • "The calls that we would take from nurses confessing that the doctors that come back from being on call that are working on patients that are drunk would shock you." — Host 2 [26:10]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sex Work Terminology:
  "An escort's a hooker with a website." — Host 3 [04:02]

• Facing Economic Desperation:
  "You gotta do what you gotta do." — Emily [11:09]

• The Reality of Partnered Sex Work:
  "We're not like intimate together unless we're getting paid." — Emily [09:04]

• Relationship Boundaries and Sex Work:
  "It don’t bother me at all. I would love for her to do that..." — Tim [13:23]
  "You're going to have questions you don’t even know you're going to have..." — Host 1 [15:29]

• Childbirth Nerves:
  "The opportunity to decide that [being in the delivery room] has been taken away from men." — Jeff [18:32]

• On Drunk Delivery Room Staff:
  "My doctor was drunk when I was delivered… I have an arm injury from it because my arm was the first part he could hold on to." — Rachel [24:44]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------|-----------| | News Intro: Economy & Sex Work | 01:01 | | Callers Share Sex Work Experiences | 04:13 | | Todd’s Escorting Story (Male) | 04:13–07:06| | Emily’s Voyeur & Fetish Story | 07:17–11:12| | Jamie’s Fetish Work | 11:41–12:54| | Tim & His Girlfriend’s Proposition | 13:16–15:58| | Delivery Room Discussion Starts | 18:11 | | Autumn: Accidentally Drunk Husband | 20:37 | | Pamela: High Husband, Cigar Story | 21:19 | | Jennifer: Solo Drive, Drunk Husband | 23:12 | | Rachel: Drunk Doctor & Birth Injury | 24:30 | | Tiffany: Grandparent Prescribed Percocet | 26:40 |

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Tone

The Bert Show’s tone is a unique blend of candid, cheeky, compassionate, and unfiltered honesty—never shying from tough truths but always keeping an element of humor and camaraderie with both co-hosts and listeners. The discussions are raw yet nonjudgmental, offering genuine connection and laughs even when covering challenging realities.

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Ideal For:
Listeners who appreciate authentic morning radio, enjoy real stories from everyday people, and want a mix of hard truths, empathy, and irreverent humor.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 3]

The Burt Show.

[Host 2]

Before I give you this specific question, let me just play this piece of news for you guys and it will set up what my question is gonna be because I don't think it will pertain to anybody in our listening audience.

[Narrator/Reporter]

While the economy is hurting most industries, it's keeping the prostitution industry alive. Brothel owners say that success is attractive to many women who are out of a job.

[Host 2]

You sort of know where I'm gonna go with this now. There's so many girls wanting to go

[Caller 1]

to work now because of the economy.

[Host 3]

There's layoffs in every sector of the economy. The auto workers, the big insurance companies, the Wall Street.

[Host 2]

We get a lot of people from

[Host 3]

New York City wanting to come to work.

[Host 1]

Welcome to the Bunny Ranch.

[Narrator/Reporter]

The economy is driving women to places like the Bunny Ranch. Just last month alone, they had 1500 applications. The bunny Ranch isn't the only place seeing an increase in applications. Over at Wild Horse and Mustang Ranch, the madam says they have 30 to 40% increase in women looking for jobs. Sunny Lane, who works at the Bunny Ranch, says she left the adult film industry in Los Angeles because it was starting to fail. And now she can make her money here at the ranch.

[Caller 2]

Money play is the biggest decision in

[Host 1]

a lot of people's lives.

[Caller 2]

And so I think for myself and my business, I want to still shoot and direct my own films. I have some big projects coming up this year, so.

[Host 1]

So for me, it was a big

[Caller 2]

decision of doing the right thing for myself and my business at Sunny Lane Enterprises and bringing the Bunny Ranch together.

[Host 1]

So it's huge.

[Narrator/Reporter]

Air Force Amy has been in the industry for 19 years. She says she's beginning to see a change in the girls.

[Host 1]

A lot of the ladies.

[Caller 2]

What I do see change are ladies

[Host 1]

with great educations, master's degrees, and women that come from all walks of lives. It's a lot different than 20 years ago where it was just a street

[Host 4]

hooker from under the bridge. It's a totally different ball game.

[Narrator/Reporter]

The world's oldest profession is seeing a lot of new changes, but it's also surviving in a tough economic world.

[Host 2]

I'm listening to that and I don't know why the word hooker to me is so crass, but a prostitute doesn't bother me at all. Hooker just sounds.

[Host 1]

They're both pretty crass.

[Host 4]

Random, Random tangent for a second. So when I was in elementary school, my sister was in high school and she played on a softball team. And the softball team was sponsored by Hooker Chemical Company. And I swear her softball jersey on the front and arch said hooker.

[Host 2]

This is my obvious question to ask here. I don't think anybody listening right now will call up that has hit such tough economic times because we are in brutal times right now. Brutal times cause for desperate measures. Is there anybody that has started prostituting, tricking, tricking, because you had to.

[Host 3]

Well, I put it out there. I put it out there, but I haven't gotten any calls yet.

[Host 1]

Could you take a call of somebody that became an escort?

[Host 3]

Same thing.

[Host 2]

Isn't this the same thing?

[Host 1]

Is it the same thing?

[Host 3]

Yes.

[Host 1]

Okay. Just different words.

[Host 3]

An escort to hook her with a website.

[Host 2]

And we'll put you on the voice disguiser. We got calls.

[Host 4]

The winter seems to lit up.

[Host 2]

We got calls.

[Host 3]

You're not a failure. You're. Damn it.

[Host 2]

Hey, Todd, you're on Q100. Okay. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 1]

Absolutely. Well, I have escorted for like about the past year or so and times have really gotten hard. I'm a college student. I'm a full time college student and I have day and evening classes, typically Monday through Thursday. And it's just very difficult to sustain a job. It really, really is. And I had a job when the gas was at $4 a gallon. It was literally costing me more work to get to work. It was costing me more money to get to work than I was actually making there. And me and some of my friends were just sitting around making jokes about it. Then we're like, you know what? We could really do this. I mean, I'm a very attractive guy and my friends are attractive. And, you know, we just actually started escorting.

[Host 2]

So you guys are doing this as, like, a business together, or do you have individual websites and individual businesses?

[Caller 1]

Well, we're all individual, but there are clients that want to have more than one person there simultaneously.

[Caller 2]

Oh, wow.

[Host 2]

Wow. Is your clientele mostly single women or is it married women?

[Caller 1]

I get a wide range of clientele, honestly. I mean, it's even. I even have, like, male clientele, which is kind of different. But, I mean, I don't really ask that many questions. They don't ask that many questions. They just ask for my name. And

[Host 2]

had you ever. Had you ever been intimate with another man before you started doing it for a living?

[Caller 1]

I've had an. You know, an experience. I think most guys, realistically, if they're honest with themselves, they've had some type of experience with another male. But, I mean, I'm not ashamed to say. I mean, yeah, I have, you know, being younger.

[Host 2]

And how much do you get?

[Caller 1]

The minimum that I've ever gotten was 150, and that was for pretty much a simple meet and greet.

[Host 2]

And how expensive can it get?

[Caller 1]

I've had clients that have flown me out of the country and, wow. Things like that. So those really go up to like three or four thousand for a weekend.

[Host 1]

Wow, you are hot.

[Host 2]

$4,000?

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 3]

Hobby wants to talk to you.

[Host 1]

Hang on a second.

[Host 2]

Thank you for calling, Todd. Appreciate it.

[Caller 1]

Thanks so much, man.

[Host 2]

And we don't have to be done there.

[Host 1]

I'm uncomfortable because it's so sad.

[Host 2]

Yeah, I know. It is. I didn't anticipate us getting any calls at all. On it. Good morning, Emily.

[Caller 3]

Hi.

[Host 2]

Hi. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 3]

Hi.

[Host 2]

How long ago did you start doing this?

[Caller 3]

Just a few months ago. Not really that long.

[Host 2]

And how bad was it economically for you before you said, okay, this is it. This is what I got?

[Caller 3]

Well, it's really bad. I mean, you know, when you're only working minimum wage, it's. I mean, it gets hard when you're trying to keep rent and food and gas and stuff.

[Host 2]

Is this like a website, escort website thing?

[Caller 3]

Oh, no, actually. I only actually have sex with a few guys, and then I let people watch for money.

[Host 3]

Okay, so people.

[Host 4]

So you charge for voyeurism? I said, so you charge for voyeurism more than anything else.

[Host 2]

So you have a. Another partner that you have sex with. So you guys. It's sort of a business. And then people pay the both of you to watch.

[Caller 3]

Right.

[Host 3]

Wow.

[Host 2]

How do you find a partner to do that? I mean, how do you go to your friend and go, look, I Got this idea of business.

[Caller 3]

He came to me with it. We had been friends for several years and he was going through a tough time and so was I. And he said, you know, I bet we can make money like this. And I said, sure, why don't we give it a try? And it's worked out really well.

[Host 2]

Had you been intimate with this guy before it became a business for the two of you?

[Caller 3]

No.

[Host 2]

So the very first time you guys ever had sex was in front of somebody else?

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Host 1]

And is it really just like a working relationship?

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

So you guys aren't together unless you're getting paid, Right?

[Caller 3]

I mean, we still do, like, friends stuff together, like a long time, but we're not like intimate together unless we're getting paid.

[Host 2]

Are you physically attracted to him at all?

[Caller 3]

Well, I mean, he's a nice looking guy, but it's not like that. You know what I mean? It's.

[Host 3]

So what is business?

[Host 2]

Business?

[Host 3]

What does somebody pay just to watch?

[Host 1]

That is so fascinating.

[Caller 3]

What now?

[Host 3]

What does somebody pay just to watch?

[Caller 3]

That's what they do. They just pay to watch.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Host 3]

How much?

[Caller 3]

Oh, usually about 200.

[Host 3]

And do you have, like, bleachers up? Is it a bunch of people or is it just like, one? One person?

[Host 2]

It's right in the middle of Phillips Arena. It's a whole arena full of people. And do you have a website? Is that where people find you?

[Caller 3]

No, he. He just finds people that he knows and stuff.

[Host 3]

So he just goes to his buddies

[Caller 3]

and goes, I don't really do anything.

[Host 3]

So he goes to a party, has a few beers, and says, hey, you guys want to get in on something for 200 bucks? Let you have. Watch me have sex with my girlfriend?

[Host 2]

Is that how that works?

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

And does he have a picture of you that he's showing everybody? Like, if you want to watch me have sex with this girl, It'll cost you $200.

[Caller 3]

Usually we're at places together.

[Host 2]

I see.

[Caller 3]

You know, like, usually we'll go out together and like, network. Yeah.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Wow. Wow, that is so fascinating.

[Host 2]

It really is. I'm very.

[Host 1]

Do other people ever ask if they can get involved?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, they do.

[Host 2]

Do you ever let them?

[Caller 3]

No, we don't.

[Host 1]

Mm.

[Host 3]

And how. So how often is this going down?

[Host 2]

It's like, I don't want to let her off the phone because it's really interesting.

[Caller 3]

It's usually just probably about once every two weeks, but occasionally we'll do it more than that.

[Host 3]

So 2, 300 bucks a month for you?

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Okay. Wow. It's not something that you're not proud of, but you're. It's just business for you. Yeah.

[Caller 3]

I mean, it's not something that I'm advertising most definitely, but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do. And me and this guy, we've been friends for, like, I said, like three or four years, so, you know, there's

[Host 2]

so many guys right now that have girl friends. They're gonna propose this today that have wanted to sleep with them for years. Look, this is all about business to the economy, right?

[Host 4]

Desperate times. You're in a slump.

[Host 3]

I gotta get some unemployed girlfriends.

[Host 2]

Good morning, Jamie. You're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Caller 3]

Good morning.

[Host 2]

Good morning.

[Caller 3]

I don't know what to say.

[Host 2]

How long ago did you. I mean, was it purely economic reasons, the last couple of months that got you into this?

[Caller 3]

Basically, I, you know, fell on hard times and had this friend that would. Is interested. He's married, you know, so he would,

[Caller 1]

you know, it wasn't actually, you know,

[Caller 3]

sex or anything, but it was, you know, fetish, you know, kind of, you know, show your stuff and

[Caller 1]

a little

[Caller 3]

bit of spanking or something.

[Host 3]

So he's. So this married friend of yours is paying you for you to spank him or he spanks you?

[Caller 3]

He spanks me.

[Host 2]

And then that's it?

[Caller 3]

Well, I mean, there's a few other toys involved, but it was never, you

[Caller 1]

know, it wasn't actual stuff.

[Caller 3]

You know, he didn't. You know what? I don't know how to say this. I'm not used to being on the radio.

[Host 2]

I'll be really careful because we're gonna. We're walking a real close edge right here.

[Caller 3]

Okay.

[Host 2]

In fact, so much so let me just go ahead and put you on hold. I think we got what we got. Yeah. I just don't want to. You really want to go over the line?

[Host 3]

You have to put her on hold. You can probably hang up on her unless you want to talk to her.

[Host 2]

I like to spank myself.

[Host 1]

Save that.

[Caller 2]

Save that.

[Host 3]

Yes, save that and send it to Sanjay Gupta.

[Host 2]

All right, one last call here. This is our closer call. Hey, Tim, you're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Caller 1]

Hey, guys. How y' all doing?

[Host 2]

Okay. How are you?

[Host 1]

A little disturbed.

[Host 2]

Yeah, a little disturbed, but a little. Little fascinated.

[Host 4]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

My girlfriend, she had got this message from this guy on MySpace wanting her to join his little escort service thing. And she didn't tell me at first. And then about a week or two later, she told me about it, and I was like, what are you thinking, girl? We should do this because I'm a firefighter and everybody's talking about getting laid off and everything, and it's just times are really, really tough right now. But, I mean, it don't bother me at all. I would. I would love for her to do that, because that way we have enough money to get by.

[Host 2]

You know, I got a couple of questions right off the bat, so. Yeah, it's. It's. Are you telling me that there are people that go online just looking for hot girls on to recruit just based on, like, MySpace Photos and Facebook?

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

So he looked at her, thought she was hot, and then contacted her to be an escort?

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Caller 2]

Wow.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

And she said yes?

[Caller 1]

No. She said no.

[Host 1]

She said no.

[Caller 1]

She didn't message him back or anything?

[Host 3]

Mm.

[Host 1]

So she hasn't done anything yet?

[Caller 1]

No. I have been wanting her to so bad.

[Host 2]

Wouldn't bother you at all? Not even a little bit?

[Caller 1]

No.

[Host 4]

Are you sure?

[Host 3]

Wow.

[Host 4]

Really?

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

That means she'd be hooking up with other dudes?

[Caller 1]

Yeah. I mean, it just. It don't bother me.

[Host 3]

Wendy, Queen of the obvious.

[Host 2]

Do you.

[Host 1]

You realize that means it's not just a date? It's going back to hotel rooms. It's doing favors. It's not just a date. It's not just a. Escorting someone somewhere.

[Host 4]

And I don't. Yeah, this. What was that movie with Demi Moore, Robert Redford, like, when.

[Host 2]

Indecent Proposal.

[Host 4]

Indecent Proposal. Like, it's all cool and sounds good and you're gonna make extra money, but then once she starts doing it, I. I don't believe you. That you wouldn't be bothered by it once it starts.

[Host 1]

You'll be Woody Harrelson. You'll freak out.

[Host 2]

Do you think it's just, like. It would just be sex and it's just business. You know? She loves you.

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah. We're in love. Oh, yeah. Totally in love. Get married and everything.

[Host 2]

Why are you rolling your eyes like that?

[Host 4]

Because I don't. I don't believe that he won't get competitive after. After the process starts because your curiosity will kill you.

[Host 1]

Be like, well, how was it? What was he like? What was that like? And then once she starts telling you, you're gonna be like, well, did you like it? Did you like it better? How was that? You know what I mean? It's just.

[Host 2]

Yeah, it just.

[Host 1]

It opens questions for you that will lead to other places you don't even

[Host 2]

know you're going, but because it's not emotional for you, and she would just be doing it to bring home money. That would. That's business for you.

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I like. I like that easy money stuff.

[Host 2]

How much did he offer her?

[Caller 1]

She said she could make up to a grand a night.

[Host 2]

A grand a night?

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Host 1]

Wow.

[Host 2]

So have you pressed her on it or is she just dead set against it?

[Caller 1]

She's pretty much dead set against it, but I'm still working on it.

[Host 4]

Well, you're the firefighter. You could go out and make the money.

[Caller 1]

Well, I am, but everybody's talking about laying everybody off.

[Host 4]

No, I'm not talking about firefighting. I'm not talking about.

[Host 2]

She's a

[Host 4]

fire out

[Host 3]

the bird show,

[Host 1]

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Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more. Jeff has wanted to ask you guys this question since, like, 7:15 this morning. He told us this morning that if and when Jessica gets pregnant and this is a decision that they decide to make, that he doesn't want to be in the delivery room when she's delivering their baby.

[Host 3]

I'm not saying I would rather not. I know that I have to be. My frustration comes from the fact that at some point in the past two decades, the opportunity to decide that has been taken away from men.

[Host 2]

There are so many obvious reasons that we debated why guys have to be in the delivery room earlier this morning doesn't need to be debated again. But Jeff, his fear is that he's gonna pass out. Like, he'll see the blood. He can't handle all this stuff. And he's going straight down, right?

[Host 3]

And I want all the attention focused on the greatest child ever to be born.

[Host 4]

So down the hall.

[Host 3]

That being said, that's happened twice already.

[Host 2]

Jesus and Sanjay.

[Host 4]

Oh, my God.

[Host 2]

But go on.

[Host 3]

Seriously, dude, Federal Secret Service. You'll just disappear.

[Host 4]

Does he have to wear one? Does he have to wear that Navy captain uniform if he becomes U.S. surgeon General? Like, coupe dead or was actually in the Navy?

[Host 2]

Yeah. All right.

[Host 4]

I'm just wondering, because Sanjay would look good in that uniform.

[Host 3]

And he was also the guy who found all the fried fish patties.

[Host 2]

Anyway.

[Host 3]

See, every coupe tells you not to smoke. And Long John Silver, like, can I have a fried fish patty?

[Host 2]

He should have been. He should have done all his psas in that yellow slicker. Slicker.

[Host 1]

Yes.

[Host 2]

With that hat.

[Caller 2]

Oh, my gosh.

[Host 1]

I wish we had a webcam.

[Host 3]

Anywh who. So this came from an instant message from somebody that shall not be named. Because if no phone calls come in, I don't want her to be embarrassed, but she said, you should do what my husband did. He was drunk in the delivery room.

[Host 4]

Oh, I'm sure that happens a lot.

[Host 2]

So he was so anxious about the whole thing that he actually brought his

[Host 3]

flask into the delivery room, and he was buzzed when he went in.

[Host 2]

Is there anybody listening right now that it was either buzzed in the delivery room or your husband was drunk in the delivery room just so he could be there for support. He had to get through it any way he could.

[Host 4]

Right?

[Host 2]

And alcohol gave him a little liquid confidence.

[Host 4]

And I'm sure a lot of it's the accidental drunk, you know, like, because I'm sure there are guys that may purposely do that. But you know what's worse is it's the accidental drunk. And they probably still pass out.

[Host 2]

404-741. Q100. Good morning, Autumn.

[Caller 3]

Hi.

[Host 4]

Hey.

[Caller 2]

Actually, my ex husband, we were married for 10 years, and he was an accidental drunk in the delivery room. We go in my. They admit me into the hospital, and as soon as my water breaks, he promptly gets up and throws up in the bathroom. And the nurse is checking on him rather than checking on me.

[Host 3]

See, that's my concern.

[Host 2]

That's what Jeff was saying earlier this morning.

[Host 1]

If you're not drunk, you're not gonna be drunk. You're gonna be fine.

[Host 2]

But it's that accidental drunk like Melissa's talking about. As you go just to. Just to ease the nerves a little bit, you take a little bit and a little turns into too much.

[Host 4]

Right. And, you know, maybe you had a lack of sleep, maybe you didn't eat much that day. So all the circumstances make you drunk

[Host 1]

and you're nervous at the same time.

[Host 4]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Good morning, Pamela. You are on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 2]

Hey. My husband, we. When we had our first child, he wasn't drunk, but he came in the delivery room high, and that was the only way he could get through it. And the whole nine months, he kept saying, I'm not going to cut the cord. I'm not going to cut the cord. Well, he basically pushed the doctor out of the way to cut the cord.

[Host 4]

He didn't eat the cord, did he?

[Caller 2]

No, no. My mom had a fit, so.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Host 2]

So somewhere in, like, the north side parking lot, before he comes in, he just breaks out some weed, takes a hit, and then comes on in.

[Caller 2]

No, his friend, they. They went to, like, to Walmart to get the cigars for the baby and all that stuff. And when he comes back, he was. I was like, I'm over here in pain, giving birth to your child, and this is the way you come back to the hospital.

[Host 1]

Oh.

[Host 4]

Now if you. If the doctors gave you that choice. At the moment, though, as long as.

[Host 3]

You know what, people probably won't say this to your face, but I'm just gonna. I mean, this is no basis on judgment for love of your baby, but he really bought the cigars at Walmart?

[Caller 2]

Oh, yeah.

[Host 2]

They're probably little swisher sweets.

[Host 3]

That's what I'm saying. Did he break the plastic eggs off or just.

[Caller 2]

That was the closest place. That's where he went.

[Host 3]

Yeah.

[Host 4]

I mean, it's not like if she went into labor, I mean, where's he gonna go, right? You want him going to the smoke shop that's in Buckhead.

[Host 3]

Well, you know, it's coming heaven.

[Caller 2]

After that, you know, he went to hold the baby and it scared him. And he doesn't smoke no more, thank God. But, you know, scared him straight. I was like, yes.

[Host 4]

When does a man plan ahead to get the cigars for his baby?

[Host 3]

Seriously, Jeff, he had weed in his car.

[Host 2]

Hey, Rachel, hold on one sec. For me, you're going to be my closer call, okay?

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Host 2]

All right. Sometimes it's not the husbands that are drunk in the delivery room. Sometimes it's the staff.

[Caller 3]

Oh, no.

[Host 2]

And we'll talk to Rachel about that in a second. Hey, Jennifer, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, my husband was accidentally drunk. We went to a benefit and I was eight and a half months pregnant. And he proceeded to drink and drink and drink, and I went into labor two weeks early. Had to drive myself to the hospital.

[Host 4]

Oh, God.

[Host 2]

This one here is a little bit more justifiable, though, because she went into. Into labor early. And it's not like he got buzzed in order to go to the delivery room.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, what was bad is we actually started cramping and said, I'm gonna go sit out in the car. I don't feel real well and something's not right, and I need you to meet me as soon as you get done talking to the person you're talking to.

[Caller 3]

And.

[Caller 2]

And he stayed for like an hour and I had to text him. Couldn't get out of the car and go find him. Too much pain. So, yeah, drove myself to the hospital, parked in, like, the emergency parking, and I was like, you know, my car is in emergency parking. It's only good for half an hour. Drunk husband can't go move it. And yeah, he actually ended up passing out in the delivery room, like at the. On the floor in the most disgusting place in a delivery room.

[Host 2]

Did you said this was your ex husband or this is your current husband?

[Caller 2]

Current husband.

[Host 2]

Current husband.

[Host 4]

Oh, but he's paying every damn day.

[Host 3]

Yes, without a doubt.

[Host 2]

That's one you don't forget. Okay, Rachel, not your husband that was drunk.

[Caller 2]

No, my doctor was drunk when I was delivered. So my mom. Doctor was drunk. Yeah, I. At the time, she said she didn't even really think about it because I was such a large baby. I was 10 pounds, 2 ounces.

[Host 3]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 2]

So, yeah, in retrospect, they should have given her a C section, but she was trying to have me naturally and was so consumed by that that she actually had to put the pieces back together the next day to realize what had happened. And yeah, he was drunk. And as a result, I have an arm injury from it because my arm was the first part of my body that he could hold on to. So he just continued to pull me out by it. So, yeah, it was very bizarre. It's kind of like a Lifetime movie. I mean, he went in, change all my birth files and everything, and kind of left the state after that.

[Host 4]

Yeah. I was gonna say lawyers are tripping over themselves trying to call information.

[Host 2]

This was how long ago?

[Caller 2]

26 years ago.

[Host 2]

Six years ago.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Host 2]

You still have the scars from it, because I.

[Host 4]

Well, I mean, that's. I mean, that's sad and tragic what happened. But, you know, I could see where if a doctor was not on call but was being paged, because you go into delivery and let's say they're at a benefit and they're drinking at a benefit, like that woman's husband, and they're accidentally drunk, and then they get the page that one of their patients has gone into labor.

[Host 2]

I can tell you this, it's another topic for another time, but keep in mind, my sister in law is a nurse. And the calls that we would take from nurses confessing that the doctors that come back from being on call that are working on patients that are drunk would shock you. No, it happens more than y' all think.

[Host 3]

You mean like had one beer at lunch or you mean like, you're talking

[Host 2]

about, like, doctors are on call. Right? The nurses can't handle what's going on, or they're supposed to. The protocol is you call the doctors. Doctors are on call and they're not supposed to be drinking.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Host 2]

But they go ahead and they risk it. They gamble. Look, nothing's gonna happen.

[Host 3]

They won't get the call that's gonna happen tonight.

[Host 2]

So they go to a party, they get their drink on, and sure enough, they're called in and they have to go back to the hospital and work on the patients. And they're drunk. You'll be shocked by the calls.

[Host 1]

Scary.

[Host 4]

Wow.

[Host 2]

Good morning, Tiffany. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller 1]

Hi.

[Caller 2]

Well, I went into labor while my husband was at work. He came home, I had to wait for him to take a shower. Then we had to go by his grandmother's house, and she gave him like 10 percocet or something. And so we were in the delivery room, and I did not know that's why he went back by there. So I'm wondering, in the delivery room, he's acting really freaked out and, like, turns green. When my son comes out.

[Host 3]

Is this your regret?

[Caller 2]

He couldn't cut the cord. The doctors were like, sir, do you want to sit down? Because you look like you're about to pass out. So he. Yeah, he was pretty. I mean, he was feeling pretty good. We were both doped up.

[Host 3]

But was it your grandma or his grandma who slipped in the pills?

[Caller 2]

His grandmother.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Host 2]

In any situation, if you're a drug supplier, legal or illegal, is your grandparents, it puts you in a different category. A totally, completely different category. You don't want to be here.

[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 2]

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[Host 3]

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