Full Show PT 2: Friday, March 27 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT2: Friday, March 27 [Vault]

Original Air Date: March 27, 2026

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Main Theme

This episode of The Bert Show mixes irreverent humor and candid conversation as the cast (Bert, Wendy, Bubba Wallace, and rotating guests) discusses quirky celebrity facts, explores the unusual phenomenon of "sexomnia," and runs a "Guys Panel" answering women’s burning questions about dating, relationships, and perceptions. The show closes with a mix of amusing and poignant listener call-ins about kids revealing family secrets to teachers and some hilarious/frustrating 911 call stories.

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Segment Breakdown & Key Takeaways

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1. Celebrity Random Facts Game

Timestamps: 01:03–09:47

Format: Bert and Wendy read off bizarre facts about celebrities, quizzing each other and the group in a rapid-fire, humorous format. They keep score and provide commentary on the stories.

Key Moments & Quotes:

• Matthew Perry’s missing finger tip
  • “This guy’s missing part of his middle finger...due to a door sh—shedding accident.” – Host (01:30)
  • “If he was like a Tennessee fan...he’s like, ‘Oh, we’re number one.’ It really wouldn’t be...It’d be like, ‘We’re sort of...’” – Host joke (01:52)
• Rob Lowe’s hearing loss
  • "A childhood virus left this person completely deaf in his right ear." – Host (02:17)
  • “Rob Lowe. Really? Yeah.” – Wendy (02:26)
• Other fun facts included:
  • Justin Timberlake’s pageant wins (02:56)
  • Jamie Foxx did stand-up in second grade (03:31)
  • Jim Carrey wore tap shoes to bed as a kid in case his parents “needed cheering up” (04:19)
    • “That’s tragic actually.” – Wendy (04:28)
  • Christina Applegate dumped Brad Pitt at the 1989 MTV Awards (05:07)
  • Jack Black’s parents were rocket scientists (05:48)
  • Paris Hilton has size 11 feet (06:12)
  • Madonna is distantly related to Gwen Stefani and Celine Dion (06:34)
  • Patrick Dempsey was a juggling unicycle-riding clown (07:18)
  • The Olsen twins wore fake teeth on “Full House” (08:06)
• Scorekeeping and banter:
  • “It’s the mini-celebrations that make it all worthwhile.” – Host (08:37)

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2. Sexomnia: Candid Talk About Sex While Sleepwalking

Timestamps: 10:36–15:53

Content: Bert introduces the topic with an anecdote about a friend’s husband unknowingly initiating sex multiple times a week while asleep. It leads into a serious yet comedic discussion about the real medical condition, sexomnia.

Highlights & Quotes:

• “It was happening, like, three or four times a week before they both realized…he had zero idea. Zero, zero idea.” – Host (11:53)
• Wendy is skeptical: “He was faking it. He wasn’t trying to, you know.” (12:02)
• Bert affirms legitimacy: “They went to a therapist…and they said, if he’s being honest…it’s a reality. Sexomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea you’ve done it.” (12:10)
• Haley (audio clip):
  • “Most guys think they’ve hit the jackpot when I tell them about the condition…but then they soon realize that it’s not great…It’s caused a lot of problems in relationships before.” (12:51–13:36)

Notable Insight:
Sexomnia is real, causes relationship issues, and is not the fantasy some imagine.

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3. The Guy Panel: Candid Q&A About Modern Dating

Timestamps: 15:58–36:09

Panelists: Joel (30, engaged), Gary (29, dating), Griff (37, married, blended family), Chris (30s, dating)

Key Questions & Panel Responses:

• Jeans & T-shirt vs. Done-up Look:

  • “I’m a jeans and T-shirt dude.” – Bubba Wallace (19:22)
  • “I always like a nice sundress. Something cute.” – Host (19:30)
  • Wendy presses on “club vs. bar” settings—Panel pushes back on stereotyping.

• Women with Kids—Dealbreaker?

  • “Baggage. So that’s not for you?” – Host to Joel, who affirms (23:53)
  • Griff (Bubba): “I actually always liked women with kids because...a complete female...they have somebody else they have to love more than you.” (24:21)
  • “You need to know up front” if a woman has kids; hiding it is a deal breaker (25:25)

• Sleeping Together on the First Date:

  • “If a guy says it doesn’t matter when you sleep with him…he already sleeping with somebody.” – Bubba Wallace (26:04)
  • On respect level: “If you did [sleep with me first night], then the respect level for me came down…if I’m serious about being with somebody, I’m not going to be.” – Host (27:25)

• Never-Married, Childless Women Over 30:

  • “If she comes to you and she’s 39 years old and she’s never been married and never have kids…All kind of red flags go up.” – Bubba Wallace (28:48)
  • “You wanted to hear what guys think. And this is a red flag for a guy right here.” – Host (29:20)

• Response Time Rules—Texts and Calls:

  • “If she’s always that available, maybe [it seems desperate].” – Chris (30:36)
  • “You have to play the game…My theory: err on the side of caution…” – Joel (31:53)
  • Gary: “I actually like it when a girl’s available...When I send her a text or a phone call, I like when she answers back.” (32:40)

• Strong Personality Women:

  • “I like a girl to be confident…but I don’t want her to…think she’s better than me.” – Gary (34:24)
  • Bubba: “I love a strong…what other men would call a ‘mean female.’ There’s no such thing…just a bunch of soft dudes…” (34:39)
  • Host: “Guys get bored with passive women. You just get bored at the end of the day.” (35:15)

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4. Hilarious and Sad 911 Calls

Timestamps: 37:10–42:47

Content: The crew plays and jokes about ridiculous real 911 calls—especially from people in Florida calling over trivial or inebriated misunderstandings.

Best Moments:

• Woman calls about a domestic dispute—her “roommate” took her beer (38:12–39:31)
• The caller forgets she called after police show up and rings 911 again, confused (40:09–41:14)
• Escalates to drunk, crying, and then angrily demanding to be arrested (42:29)

Hosts’ Commentary:

• “That’s the worst drunk dial you could ever make.” – Host (42:45)
• “She’s like drunk and bipolar.” – Wendy (42:08)

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5. Teachers’ Secrets: Kids Accidentally Exposing Parents

Timestamps: 42:49–46:05

Content: Teachers call in to share the wild things their young students divulge about home life—unfiltered, often revealing family secrets.

Notable Calls:

• 8-year-old explains, “my mom is running out of money so during the day she has to hug on some man so they will get money.” (43:16)
• Another teacher discovers a mom is having an affair—with another teacher—via their 7-year-old student (44:10)
• A teacher learns of parents arguing about dad’s girlfriend from a fourth grader (45:08)
• A daycare child shares daddy rode in a police car because grandma called the cops after he hit mommy (45:45)

Panel’s Reflection:

• “That got sad.” – Wendy (46:05)
• “It was funny. And then it got sad very quick.” – Bubba Wallace (46:05)

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Notable Quotes (With Timestamps & Attribution)

• “It’s the mini-celebrations that make it all worthwhile.” – Host (08:37)
• “I was never pressed [about sex] because I already had other females.” – Bubba Wallace (26:04)
• "If she comes to you and she’s 39 years old and she’s never been married and never have kids…All kind of red flags go up." – Bubba Wallace (28:48)
• “I actually always liked women with kids because it, to me, it just said that they was real women.” – Bubba Wallace (24:21)
• “You have to play the game…My theory: err on the side of caution…” – Joel (31:53)
• "There’s no such thing as a mean female. I think it’s just soft dudes." – Bubba Wallace (34:39)
• “She’s like, what’s my number? Oh, okay. Thanks anyway. Please send somebody. Hurry.” – Host on 911 call (39:45)
• "They don’t have any filter; they don’t know not to just talk about what's happening at home." – Wendy (43:10)

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Final Impressions

Tone & Atmosphere:
Energetic, authentic, occasionally irreverent—but the mix of humor and vulnerability strikes a balance, especially during more serious or emotional moments.

Who’d Enjoy This Episode?

• Fans of lighthearted banter and radio “game show” style segments
• Listeners curious about real-life dating perspectives from the male side
• Anyone interested in the unpredictability of kids & family secrets
• Fans of classic “only in Florida” 911 call stories

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Episode Navigation (Timestamps)

• Celebrity Facts Quiz: 01:03–09:47
• Sexomnia Segment: 10:36–15:53
• Guys’ Dating Panel: 15:58–36:09
• 911 Calls: 37:10–42:47
• Teachers’ Secrets: 42:49–46:05

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Summary prepared for those seeking a nuanced yet entertaining overview of The Bert Show’s March 27, 2026 episode—a must-listen for relatable laughs and real talk!

Transcript

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[Bubba Wallace]

The Birch.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You know those Facebook lists now? 25 random things you didn't know about me or whatever. And we tried them also here. These are. Somebody posted celebrity facts. All right, there are 50 here, but we can't go through all 50, so you guys just tell me when you're bored with the list. Okay, One for us. What's that? Do we get to guess of who the random fact goes to? Mm, I think they're so random. I don't think you'd have a prayer. But we can try it that way. The first one we've talked about on the show, I was gonna use that as the example. This guy's missing part of his middle finger on his right hand due to a door sh. Shedding accident.

[Wendy]

Matthew Perry.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Matthew Perry. Yeah. Yeah.

[Wendy]

I couldn't think it was Chandler is what I was. And he had a prosthetic. Right on Friends.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Did he?

[Wendy]

Yeah, Jeff told us about that. The prosthetic tip. It's a. It was a tip that he was missing.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Right. Not the whole finger in it. Yeah, but like, if.

[Wendy]

It's hard to say prosthetic.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

If he was like a Tennessee fan and, you know, and he want his. The camera's on him. He's like, oh, we're number one. It really wouldn't be. It would be like, we're sort of

[Wendy]

a half a one. But it was halfway there. Valve. It was like his ring finger or some. Or middle finger or something. I don't think it was pointer finger.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You can go on like YouTube and you can search it and they have videos up there of him with half a digit. I'm just guessing.

[Wendy]

It's a random thing to search Matthew Perry with half a digit.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

A childhood virus left this person completely deaf in his right ear.

[Wendy]

I have no idea. I don't have a prayer.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Rob Lowe.

[Wendy]

Really? Yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's deaf in one ear, huh?

[Wendy]

I bet he'd be fun to get drunk with.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Start talking real loud.

[Wendy]

See how drunk people get loud.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Anyway, he's the guy you sit next to, the big speaker.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

At age 10, this celebrity won 1991 preteen Mr. America pageant. And the following year he became the first male winner of America's Universal Charm Pageant.

[Wendy]

Mario Lopez.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Mario Lopez. Justin Timberlake.

[Wendy]

I don't know.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I don't know. Justin Timberlake. Yeah.

[Wendy]

Good kid. Yeah. Take that. I won't get another one.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I wasn't really sure that this was a competition till now, but this is the bird show.

[Wendy]

Well, then I got Matthew Perry.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Boom. One, one. As a second grader, this kid was so talented at telling jokes that his teacher used him as a reward if the class behave. This kid got up and would do stand up in the second grade.

[Wendy]

Jack Black. Hayden Weiss. Sorry, Random. Jimmy Fallon.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Jamie Foxx.

[Wendy]

I was close. I got the J. You're right. Wendy tied a quarter of a point. I'll take it.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

In 1993, this singer tried out for the Mickey Mouse Club but panicked after watching Christina Aguilera.

[Wendy]

I got it.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

One each.

[Wendy]

Woo. She told us that.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

She did.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I don't even remember her having her

[Wendy]

on the Mickey Mouse Club. She's been on with us twice.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Oh yeah, Little blonde thing. Got a sister that's in the business too.

[Wendy]

Don't you remember Music Midtown? Our stage? We hung out with her.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I remember Ludacris.

[Wendy]

After that, no more.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

As a child, this actor wore tap shoes to bed just in case his parents needed cheering up in the middle of the night.

[Wendy]

Oh, Usher.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

That's.

[Wendy]

That's tragic actually.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Why do you think tragic?

[Wendy]

Because his parents must have been really sad.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I guess he would have to show an example of sad during the day for him to think that if they were bummed. Yeah. Wow, you really brought me down on that one.

[Wendy]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to have a guess.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Sammy Davis Jr. Never get. It's not even a. It's not even a dancer.

[Wendy]

I don't know.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Jim Carrey.

[Wendy]

Awesome.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This celebrity attended the 1989 MTV Movie Awards with Brad Pitt. But she dumped him at the event and left with somebody else.

[Wendy]

Gwyneth Paltrow? No, he dated. Oh God. I don't think of her name.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

89 MTV movie where she said, ah, you're not good enough for me.

[Bubba Wallace]

Buh.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Bye. You're not good looking enough for me. Me.

[Wendy]

Oh. Who was that? I don't remember. What's her name? I don't remember.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

If I tell you, it's Christina Applegate.

[Wendy]

Oh no, that's not who I thought it was. Who was the actress in what's Eating? Gilbert Grape. And what's her name?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

The only. I just remember Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Wendy]

Anyway, he did. Yeah, whatever. I can't remember her name.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This actor is the son of rocket scientists. His mother worked on the Hubble telescope.

[Bubba Wallace]

Wow.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah. This is gonna surprise you. We have interviewed him and he was high.

[Wendy]

Ty Bennington?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

No,

[Wendy]

Jack Black.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Really?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah. Jack Black's parents are rocket scientists.

[Wendy]

That's funny.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This actress, reality TV star, has size 11ft.

[Wendy]

Paris Hilton.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Paris Hilton.

[Wendy]

Huh, huh. Cause she's starting her own shoe line.

[Bubba Wallace]

Size 11.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

That's pretty big, right? For a woman?

[Wendy]

Yeah, that's usually for very, very tall women.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

That's like sasquatch feet right there. That's 11's big.

[Wendy]

Well, she's What? How tall is she? Not that tall. Like five something. She's not six foot though. Close. I don't know.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This celebrity is related to both Gwen Stefani and Celine Dion.

[Wendy]

Whitney Houston, Julia Roberts, Melissa.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You're wrong.

[Wendy]

That is random. Celine Dion and Gwen St. Stefani.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yep. Who knows Madonna?

[Wendy]

Really?

[Joel]

Yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's kind of random. Gwen's great aunt's mother in law shares the same last name as Madonna. And an ancestor of Madonna's mother was married to distant relative of Celine's dad. Wow. So it's. It's not deep. But it is. This actor began his career as a juggling unicycle riding clown.

[Wendy]

A random juggling unicycle. That's what I would say. I would have said Jim Carrey on that one.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

He's on Grey's Anatomy.

[Wendy]

Oh, T.R. knight.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Negative.

[Wendy]

Patrick Dempsey.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Why is that? Because gay people have to start out juggling and have to be clowns.

[Wendy]

The first name that came to my mind whatever, when you said Grey's Anatomy. Patrick Dempsey.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah. Patrick Dempsey.

[Wendy]

Still hot.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This model is an avid painter and several of her works have appeared in US art magazines.

[Wendy]

Brooke Burke. Is that Ashley Judd?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

No.

[Wendy]

I don't know. Cindy Crawford.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Heidi Klum. These twins had to wear fake teeth during the latter years of their show because smiles began to look different.

[Wendy]

Olsen's.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

The Olsen twins. Yep. Guys, bored by this yet?

[Wendy]

No.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

This local celebrity holds the Star Search record for the longest note held by a child at 12.1 seconds.

[Wendy]

Usher.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Usher.

[Wendy]

Huh? Yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Who's gonna pretend that they haven't been keeping score?

[Wendy]

I don't think we have, really. It's just the brief moment of winning is enough.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's the mini celebrations that make it all worthwhile. I think this one we all did know. This beautiful celebrity used to date new kid on the block Danny Wood. And they broke up because the band thought she was a groupie.

[Wendy]

If you said Halle Berry.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Halle Berry.

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

That's all.

[Wendy]

I got it. Yeah. Your yummies. There's a short list of your yummies.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Hall of fame. Yummy. And the last one. This actor belonged to the Key Club and the Forensics Club in high school. And before he became an actor, he supported himself as a chauffeur, a furniture mover and a costumed mascot for the restaurant El Pollo Loco.

[Wendy]

Aw, sad. That is sad.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

The first part of it is intriguing though. Key Club and Forensics Club in high school.

[Wendy]

But then he dressed up as a chicken.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Then he dressed up as a chicken. He's come a long way. Andy Dick.

[Wendy]

Oh, I thought you said it was Andy Dick. No, I have no. Guess. I don't know. Whitney Houston, Brad Pitt. No, really, he was a chicken.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

He was the Pollo Loco chicken.

[Wendy]

Awesome.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Came a long way.

[Bubba Wallace]

The Birch Show.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Tyler redick here from 2311 racing another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail] let's Chumba. No purchase necessary BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNCs21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Tyler Redick]

The Global Gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We Do It Gaming team take on Gilly the king and wallow. $267 million gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Tyler Redick here from 2311 Racing another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate With Chumba, jump [e-mail] Lets Chumba. No purchase necessary. BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino. So this is not a friend of a friend of mine. And this is purely coincidence that she told me about this a couple of weeks ago, and then I, for whatever reason, was doing some show prep and linked from there to there to there to there to this story on sexomnia. And this isn't a friend of hers. This is. This happens in her home that her husband will start fondling her in the middle of the night. And this. It was going on time and time again. I mean, just. He was getting all frisky, and she's like, all right, let's do this thing. So they get their freak on pretty good. And then, like, three hours later, it starts happening again. She's like, okay, all right. And then third time, in the middle of the night, okay, that's really what you want, but Christ, I'd like to get some sleep. You know, she does her duty and she gets it done right? And it was happening, like, three or four times a week before they both realized that. I guess they had a conversation in the morning one time about how much sex they were having in the middle of the night. And he had zero idea. Zero, Zero idea. And I don't want to give him a chance.

[Wendy]

He was faking it. He wasn't trying to, you know.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Well, they went to a. They went to a doctor about it, though.

[Wendy]

Okay, because let's say, as a guy, you think, oh, honey, I don't remember any of those.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

They went to a therapist about it, and they said, if he's being honest about it, it is. It's a reality sexomnia, where you can have sex in the middle of the night and have no idea that you've done it. Just like somebody would sleepwalk and walk downstairs and make a sandwich or whatever, and then go back up and sleep and have no idea about it the next day. It is real.

[Wendy]

That is a condition that a lot of people listening right now are jealous of. No kidding. That's crazy, though. And it's not caused by anything.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Well, here is a story that was online. It was a news story about a week ago, and it's from a woman that claims she has it. And it's not nearly as good as everybody thinks it is.

[Isabella]

Hi, I'm Hayley, and I suffer from a condition called sexobnia. This means that I can have sex in my sleep four or five times a night and not know anything about it until the next day when I wake up. I do love sex, but only when I'm aware that it's happening. Yeah, most guys think they've hit the jackpot when I tell them about the condition from the start. But then they soon realize that it's not great. Obviously they're having sex with someone who's asleep and it becomes a little. Cause it has caused a lot of problems in relationships before. My last boyfriend left me because of the condition. We'd been together for about a month when he moved in with me and the first night we slept together, he said that I was rampant all night all over him. I explained my condition, that I suffered from sexsomnia. And he was like, oh, well, I look forward to more of that. But I knew he'd soon get fed up with it, which he did. And a matter of weeks later he moved back out and that was the end of it. About a year ago I was seeing another guy, told him about my condition from the start, but again, he soon got fed up with it. I was waking him up virtually every night for sex, up to four, five times. And he soon got fed up with it as well and couldn't cope with it. Weren't getting any sleep and he, he left again. I later found out that there was a medical term for my condition which was sexsomnia. After looking it up on the Internet, I had a silly one night stand when I was younger with a guy who we had sex, went to sleep and the next day he said, why, you're not tired? And I was like, well, we've had a good night's sleep as far as I was concerned. And he said that we were actually having sex until 6 o' clock in the morning, which was really scary for me because obviously I didn't know anything about it at all. So that really freaked me out. That's when I started looking on the Internet, reading case studies about other people and then obviously found out that I'd got this condition, sexomnia.

[Wendy]

Believe that?

[Bubba Wallace]

Wow.

[Wendy]

Four or five times she sounds so serious about it. It's like you can take her serious, you know what I mean?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I got my facts mixed up in the setup of the whole thing. This person that I know told me about it and I didn't believe her, but she labeled it sexomnia. And that's when I googled it and I found that and I found that it was real.

[Bubba Wallace]

Wow.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

So there are people out there, they're having sex in the middle of the Night. Four or five times.

[Wendy]

It's not Ambien.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's not Ambien. Now, we've talked to those people, too.

[Wendy]

We've talked about that before, but that's not even five, six times a night. That's usually, like, once.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Now, what that will do is, like, turn, like, a very conservative person into, like, some sex kitten. And they have zero idea that that was a inside of them. That's what Ambien does. This is. People have no idea.

[Wendy]

Wow. Sleepwalking.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah. Wake up and have zero idea that

[Wendy]

they just had sex.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Hey, The Birch Show. We call this the guys panel on the Bird Show. Look, now is the time we're gonna go one by one around the room with these guys, and they have promised us complete honesty, which. Which normally means about 75% honesty, if you ask me, because they got women. They need to answer also. But, Griffin, I can count on you

[Bubba Wallace]

for some honesty, man? Of course.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Any question you've ever wanted, ask a guy and get brutal honesty about. Let's go right around the room before we start taking the calls. This is Joel. And Joel, you're how old?

[Joel]

30.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

30 years old. And is now engaged. Correct. Congratulations.

[Joel]

Thank you very much.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's actually a really cool engagement. Wanna tell them real quick how you propose? And I'm like, come on, come on. Soften them up before they hit you.

[Joel]

I basically surprised my fiance with a trip to Italy and proposed to her in front of the Coliseum on a overhang overlooking Rome.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

That's strong.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Yeah.

[Joel]

Pretty cool.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Those are pretty big shoes.

[Joel]

You know, I figured if I made it elaborate enough, there was no chance she could say no. So it's a long flight home.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

So she was feeling the pressure.

[Joel]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Those are pretty big shoes for her second husband to fill when he proposes to her. I think you did it right, dude.

[Joel]

Thanks for.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Gary is here also. Gary, you're how old? 29. 29 years old. Single.

[Chris]

Yeah. No.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

No. Dating. Dating. And your girlfriend told you to make that perfectly clear when you're on the radio?

[Joel]

Absolutely.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Okay. I know she did. And this is Griff here.

[Bubba Wallace]

What's happening, man?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Tell him how old you are.

[Bubba Wallace]

I am 37 and I'm married. And it's funny because you got, like, the cool proposal story, but when I proposed to my wife in Miami, she thought I was gonna tell her I had a. I promise you. Like, I took her to the beach, and, you know, it was early in the day, and I was crying. I was starting to. My eyes got watery, and she cut me off, and she Said before you say anything, look, if you got A's, then I'm in it.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Can I know she did it.

[Bubba Wallace]

I swear. It's the stupid. I said, why would you say that? So I love my wife. That's my home girl.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And you've got how many kids?

[Bubba Wallace]

I'm a father. 5. Because she had kids. But most recently I got a 676 day old daughter that's 22 months, two weeks, five days. Everybody else, my mom has six grandsons. So she the first girl cousin, the first niece that. Yeah, she real important to my family tree.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

All right, so if you've got questions about family or how to deal with husbands or kids, Griff is your guy. And then we've step parent, step parenting also. And Chris is here also. Chris, how you doing?

[Chris]

I'm doing well. I've been lying about my age for so long, I'm not even sure how old I am. Somewhere in the 30s.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

What's the birth certificate say?

[Chris]

I think I was born in 71,

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

but I'm not 71. And you are single?

[Chris]

I'm dating.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Dating, yes. Okay, so, Wendy, you want to start this whole thing off?

[Wendy]

Do you prefer a girl in jeans and a T shirt or done up and full makeup?

[Joel]

Depends on the occasion. What's the occasion?

[Wendy]

If you're just out and about trying to meet people. If you're single trying to meet people.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

What's the question again? I was looking at the call. What was the question?

[Wendy]

Do they prefer a girl in jeans and a T shirt when they're out or a girl who's all done up?

[Bubba Wallace]

I'm a jeans and T shirt dude.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I would agree.

[Chris]

I'm from the beach and flip flops. Jeans and a T shirts always nice.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Okay, jeans and a T shirt are good, but I always like a nice sundress. Something cute.

[Joel]

I'm a done up guy.

[Wendy]

Done up guy. Because guys always choose the girl at the club or who's out, who's all done up. So I'm just wondering why you're jeans and a T shirt kind of guy if you always pick the girl who's made up.

[Chris]

Well, the guy that likes jeans and T shirts is none of the club.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Did you hear that? You didn't even hear the answer.

[Chris]

I was just saying that the guy that likes the jeans and a T shirt is typically not a the club.

[Wendy]

Well, just at a bar in general, you go for the girl with like pounds of makeup and the hair done.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Here's the problem with Wendy. It's individual.

[Bubba Wallace]

I hear it Already. Yeah, you are. You're stereotyping us. And we're. We just told you the three people just told you on this panel for it. And we like jeans and T shirts. And you said, why you pick the girl with it? We don't. He likes that. Ask him.

[Wendy]

That's what happens.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

But here's.

[Joel]

Here's also the deal. When you're at the club, how many dudes, how many girls and jeans and a T shirt do you actually see?

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Well, not.

[Wendy]

I mean, even like at a bar, the girl who's done up, that's who the guy gets.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Stop, stop. This is when. This is an individual Wendy problem here. Because the thing is, she doesn't know which outfits are appropriate to which venue she's in. So if she's just hanging out at like Park Tavern, she's dressed up in the sexy ass miniskirt with the boobs all hanging out and the stiletto heels and all, she doesn't know, like, what to wear to each venue.

[Bubba Wallace]

I think a woman that rocks the jeans and a T shirt is so confident about her look that she, you know, trumps all the girls with the made up. To me, that's why I like the most confident female in the room. Not so much the. I don't like that much makeup anyway.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Chris, you agree with that or she's broke?

[Chris]

Just rolls of jeans and T shirts.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

That doesn't bother a guy?

[Bubba Wallace]

Nah, we're easy. Good enough.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

How about you? I like the jeans and a T shirt. Yeah, I mean, there's something about that also that is like, it's less intimidating to approach also. It's like a girl drinking a beer. To me, that's like. It's more approachable.

[Tyler Redick]

The global gaming league is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my how we do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow267's million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming league video game show. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Drew McIntyre here from WWE. Wielding the Claymore can be a life of chaos when I'm not dominating in the ring. Chumba Casino is how this warrior takes a wee break. With hundreds of online social games and new weekly releases, there's always Some something fresh to try and those daily boosts next level. Even my free time feels like Valhalla. So when life feels like a battle Kick up your feet, have some fun and let's Chumba. No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law cts and cs21 sponsored by chumba casino.

[Tyler Redick]

The Global Gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow267's million dollars gaming in an epic gaming league video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Suzanne, you've got a question for the guys panel?

[Wendy]

Yeah. I wanted to get the perception on

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

women and younger children.

[Wendy]

When I go out and meet people, it's. You get like a mixed bag of, oh, it's great.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And then you look in their eyes like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

[Wendy]

You know, I'm not looking for you to be the father.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

I just want to find somebody cool and hang out. I mean, what's the panel's idea of women with kids?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Dating them? So you're single and you're out in a bar or whatever, and you're starting to get your chemistry on pretty good with a girl and she tells you that she's got kids. Joel, what's your immediate impression? Honest.

[Bubba Wallace]

Well, look at his face.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah.

[Joel]

Honest.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah. Baggage. Baggage. So that's not for you?

[Joel]

Nope.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Okay. Gary. I think it's considered baggage, but it kind of depends on the situation. Depends on the girl, you know. What do you mean? How old the kids are if they're gonna be, you know, somebody. Some people you have to take care of or, you know, if you and your girl getting, you know, getting on and everything's working, I don't think the kids should really matter at that point. Griff, you probably have a totally different answer here.

[Bubba Wallace]

Yeah, I actually always liked women with kids because it, to me, it just said that they was real women. Like, they had completed that circle of, you know, a complete female. Like, I think a female without kids only have to love themselves. So, you know, when you have children, you have somebody else that you have to love more than you. And I always thought that was attractive.

[Chris]

I think That's a good question. I think you need a man to be a little bit more emotionally mature that he's going to be able to, you know, to, to be comfortable with that. So myself I probably wouldn't be, but no, it's, it's, you know, I eventually still want to have my own family someday, so I'd prefer to find someone that doesn't yet have children. But you know, as time goes on, I think that attitude may change a

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

bit as a guy. This one always comes up as a guy. When do you want to find out she has kids? Do you want to find out on the first date? Do you want to find out on the third date? Do you want to find out on the fifth date?

[Bubba Wallace]

But you should know on the first date that ain't the kids aren't shoes. You can't just say, yeah, we've been dating a month, man, I got a 17 year old. Forgot to tell you.

[Chris]

What's your name?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

We've had Brenda. We've had women on this show before that try to hide their kids the first couple of dates.

[Bubba Wallace]

It's not attractive.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You need to know up front. Absolutely. Joel, you agree?

[Joel]

Absolutely. There's nothing worse fun now that you know two or three dates in that just completely shoots all the holes and all the honesty for that relationship.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Denise has a question. Go ahead, Denise.

[Wendy]

Hi. If a guy like says that he really, it doesn't matter when you sleep with him, is he being honest about

[Isabella]

that or it really does.

[Wendy]

It really does matter if you make him wait or if you do it in the beginning.

[Bubba Wallace]

I always said that it doesn't matter when you sleep with him because he already sleeping with somebody. So he's not. Listen, I'm being honest. I know when I used to say that I was never pressed like I was never pressed because I already had other females. So whenever you wanted to, that's all good.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I think the question here really like the broader question is what do you think about a woman that sleeps with you on a first date? Do you look down on it? It doesn't matter to you at all? Are you more attracted to it, Chris?

[Chris]

Well, you know, I mean, certainly some questions in your mind if, if, if you all slept together on this on the first date. So my, my answer to that would be if a guy is pressuring you to sleep with them, then, then you know, that probably raises bigger questions.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I don't think the real question here is if a guy is pressuring, she wants to have sex with you on the first date. When you Guys, wake up in the morning. Will you see her potentially as somebody you want to continue dating or. Now are you looking at her as a steady booty call?

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Bubba Wallace]

Would you stay there all morning though? Like, I mean, you had sex on the first date. It's kind of agreed on that. It's cool. I will holler at you when I see you again. Don't act all like that.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You want an honesty I'm not doing. I totally agree with you. Like, my theory on this has always been this.

[Bubba Wallace]

Not spending the night.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I didn't want a girl to sleep with me on the first night. If you did, then the respect level for me came down. Like, okay, that's cool. I'm gonna have sex with you. But we're probably, you're probably doing that with other dudes also. And if I'm serious about being with somebody, I'm not, I'm not going to be.

[Wendy]

It was my first time too.

[Bubba Wallace]

Yeah, right.

[Wendy]

That's another one.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

When a girl tells you that this is the first time I've ever done this, just across the room, do you guys ever really believe that?

[Chris]

No.

[Bubba Wallace]

Then you're the best. You just happen to be the gold winner in that category for the first time. OK. Okay.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Good morning, Nicole. You are on Q100. Hi.

[Wendy]

Good morning, you guys. I've had like a few guys tell me that because I don't have. I've never had any kids and ever been married because I'm in my 30s. Something was wrong with me. So is that like something that normal for a guy?

[Joel]

Absolutely.

[Chris]

Yeah. People try to tell me I'm not normal all the time.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I can see that.

[Chris]

Yeah. No, it's. I think that, I think it's. To me, I think it's a lot about someone who's willing to wait and wait for the right person, the right relationship for the right reasons and not just get into it for the wrong reasons. And then we all have those friends that, that rush into something and end up, you know, messing up their lives.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Do you guys agree that if a girl comes to you and tells you that she's 30 years old and she's never been married and never have kids, that's one thing. But if she comes to you and she's 39 years old and she's never been married and never have kids, you

[Bubba Wallace]

guys make a different impression, Something is wrong with her? You 39 years old, never been married, never been proposed to, like, yeah, I was. All kind of red. Flags go up.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Wow.

[Wendy]

Well, good thing I'm normal.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

39 years old. She's never been married, no kids. There's probably something wrong with you. Really, you're doing something wrong.

[Joel]

You know, there's something that you're doing to have jeopardized all those relationships in the past. Something's gone wrong down the road, and you said something or your attitude's been one way. Something's thrown up some red flags for some guy never to have proposed to you at 39 years old.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Now, you women are yelling at your radios right now. You're pissed, but you wanted to hear what guys think. And this is a red flag for a guy right here. This is it. What's up?

[Wendy]

Jeff? I want to know about when you're pursuing a woman, what the response time should be for her. Like, we talk about it a lot on the show, like, women being too eager or calling you too fast or returning call too fast or returning the text messages too quickly. And we talk about how men are hunters. Let them hunt, and so can you. Each of us, each of you go down the line and sort of maybe give us a guideline on response time when you first start dating someone.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Chris, you want to start?

[Chris]

Oh, I get to start.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Chris always has this. This look of panic in his eyes with every question. You guys promised to be totally honest, so do it.

[Chris]

It's not the honesty.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

It's.

[Chris]

The questions are so subjective. I mean, it's. It is case by case, you know, scenario. But for the most part, it's just. It should be long enough to where they don't seem like they're waiting around, but not so long. Where they seem like they're playing games is probably the best way. I can answer that. If a girl, for me personally, is seemingly intentionally taking a long time to text back and it's routine, then you start to get annoyed, and it's like, this is kind of. This is kind of a waste of time. So, you know, that's about. It's a general. But it's.

[Wendy]

But if she hits you back in half a second, you think she's desperate?

[Chris]

Well, not necessarily. I mean, I'm assuming by the hitback we're talking about text in today's day. But, I mean, it's. No, it's. If she's always that available, maybe. But for the most part, you know, the first few times you're getting to know someone, I wouldn't think it's. Wouldn't think it's weird.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

When is the appropriate time to hit somebody back?

[Bubba Wallace]

Actually, you know what? It's weird, Burt, because I'm an entertainer, and I've always been somebody to say, let me call you back. You know, and it might take me a day or it might take me way, way later than they would have expected. And I've never really got caught up in a female over texting and stuff like that, you know what I'm saying? I'm kind of used to getting over, text over, called. I just have to call back at my own pace. I don't like people that say, you said you was gonna call and you didn't. Like, that's a problem. You know what I'm saying? Like, that means you have little patience. That means you. And that's a huge flag too, ladies. You said you was gonna call back, but you didn't. I've been waiting for your call. Like, things not to say, making yourself too available.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I think the real question here is if you are gonna give women advice. Joel, if you're gonna err, do you err on the side of being available or the she, I should say, be on the side of being available or not being available for you.

[Joel]

You know, it's unfortunate that you have to, but you have to play the game. You have to. I mean, if you don't play the game, then you're, you know, the other person is. So I found that in my pursuit. By the way, I think I told you this. The bible for guys is the game. If you haven't read that book, guys or girls, pick it up. Because, guys, it's all the best advice on how to pick up women, how to play the game, and women, it's everything that you're being done. Every game that's ever been played on you is in that book. I would say err on the side of caution. When first starting to date a girl, my response time on eharmony is usually,

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

gary, do you. Should a woman err on the side of being too available or being too. What's the word I'm looking for? Not available. Actually, I actually kind of like it when a girl's available. You did. When I send her a text or a phone call, I like when she answers back. You want it back immediately? Not immediately, but if I know she's sitting around her house doing nothing, I want her to give me a text back. All right. And Chris, you said that that's a. That's game to game, girl to girl.

[Chris]

You're in situation situation. So it's, you know, but it's. I think the air would be on the side of just respect and what seems comfortable.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Kimberly, Good morning. You're on the Guy with the Guys panel. Go ahead.

[Wendy]

Good morning. Hey, love your show.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Thank you.

[Wendy]

Just calling this morning about strong personalities in women. How do you guys feel about that?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Joel, you want to take that one first? Strong personalities in women. What exactly is your question?

[Wendy]

My question is, is it a turn off for you for a woman with a strong personality?

[Joel]

You know, that's a good question because

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

you picked a kind of passive one there. Molly.

[Joel]

No. Molly. Yeah, exactly. If anybody has an aggressive personality, you know, I think it depends on the personality of the guy. You know, for somebody that has a, you know, a lot of energy and a lot. Like for me, I'm. I like to be the center of attention. So it helps to have somebody else that can share in that spotlight and be wild and go to bars and get crazy. But I've dated girls in the past that were very passive and it just complete clash of personalities that just didn't work. I think it depends on the guy.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

How about you, Gary? Where are you coming with that? I like a girl to be confident

[Joel]

in her personality, but I don't want

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

her to, you know, think she's better than anybody else, think she's better than me. And, you know, just try to prove that on time in and time out. Have you ever met a woman that's too confident for you? No. Never. Never. Great.

[Bubba Wallace]

I actually am the opposite. I love a strong, you know, what other men would call a mean female. I've never got a female mean. I don't think it's a such thing as a mean female. I think it's a bunch of soft dudes that let a woman that's assertive, you know, walk on them. But I think that's. I mean, I. Would a man, a real man, want a queen? You don't want somebody that's. My wife is a sergeant first class in the military, A recruiter. She a Scorpio. I mean, she is very aggressive female. But I love it though, because I make her be a woman.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And I think guys get bored with passive women for the most part. You just get bored at the end of the day.

[Bubba Wallace]

Cause they just gonna be there, you know what I'm saying? They go, women, that's. Whatever you want to do. I want to cheat on you. How about that? The Bird show.

[Tyler Redick]

The global gaming league is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow267's million doll as gaming in an epic global Gaming League video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Drew McIntyre here from WWE. Wielding the Claymore can be a life of chaos when I'm not dominating in the ring. Chumba Casino is how this warrior can takes a wee break. With hundreds of online social games and new weekly releases, there's always something fresh to try and those daily boosts next level. Even my free time feels like Valhalla. So when life feels like a battle, kick up your feet, have some fun and let's Chumba. No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law. CTS and C's 21+ sponsored by Chumba

[Tyler Redick]

Casino, the Global Gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the fun cashback app. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We do it gaming team take on Gilly to King and Wallow two $67 million gaming in an epic global Gaming league video game showdown. Plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Let's get to these 911 calls. I love this. Didn't you guys play a series of these when I was gone a couple of weeks ago of, you know, like

[Wendy]

frivolous 911 calls the burger King drive through. Right. She was upset because they were out of fries. Right. They were out of something. They're out of nuggets. That's what it was. They were out of nuggets. You know what? She was furious. And she called 91 1, I think.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah, it depends what time of night it is, but I can understand that. About 2:33 in the morning, I called 911 2. Sure.

[Wendy]

I think we're just. Yeah, we're trying to call 911 when something's wrong, but really it's an emergency. But yeah, this is another one.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Well, here's a call from a woman in Tampa that's had a bit to drink and she's calling 911 and she immediately gets their attention because it's a domestic violence dispute call. So obviously 911 is taking this very seriously. Some of the audio here, little tough to understand because she's had a pop or two and it's 911. And those calls are never clear anyway. But here she is.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

The emergency is there's a problem with. Okay, what's the problem right now? Domestic violence. Between who? Me and the person I live with. Who do you live with? Oh, my God. Mr. Robert Leo Jr. Who is he to you? He's not actual roommate. What's going on? Okay, there's an argument that's going totally out of control. I don't want to go to jail. He doesn't want to go to jail. I understand. Okay, so you guys are just arguing right now? Pardon me? You're just arguing? It's. It's right now. Just arguing?

[Bubba Wallace]

Yeah.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

What are you arguing about? Yeah, I'm some total investigators. You say that. What is your phone. He just took my beer out of my head. That's a lot. What is your phone number, ma'?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Am?

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

What's the phone number? Well, my. My cell phone number is. And your cell phone. I'll get some money out there, please. Cuz he got my beer. He. He bought for me. Okay, I'll get somebody out there. That's a lot. And I'm trying to get my beer back. He trying to. All right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, please, Harry.

[Wendy]

He bought it for her and then he was trying to take it back.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah, And I think he should call 91 1. And I think he's the one in the background.

[Wendy]

Yeah, he's standing right there.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

He's giving her her cell phone number.

[Wendy]

Hey, this is your number to tell him, okay?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Because you can hear him going, that's a lie.

[Wendy]

That's a lie.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I said.

[Wendy]

She's like, what's my number? Oh, okay. Thanks anyway. Please send somebody. Hurry.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

All right, that's just part one in part two here. So you heard her say, please, we're gonna send somebody.

[Isabella]

Right?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And the caller says, okay, cool. So then she calls back a couple of minutes later after the two cops show up.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

There were two cops just came to my apartment for no reason.

[Wendy]

For no reason.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Yeah, for no reason. Nobody called him out here. Somebody did. I didn't.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Yeah, you did.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Oh, who am I talking to? I'm operator 37. Huh? Operator 37. Operator 30. That's not a name, it's a number. Anyway, will you please send someone out to. Honestly, Honestly, honestly, I'm not trying to be funny. I'm not trying to be, you know, why do you want the Police. Now, I don't call. I don't call y' all for no reason.

[Wendy]

Okay?

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Why you call them now? I don't do that. And then when they come out, it's like, oh, it's all on me. Well, you just called 10 minutes ago about your roommate taking your beer. Honestly, I don't remember that. That.

[Wendy]

At least she admits it, huh?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Now she starts breaking down.

[Wendy]

Is she crying?

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

I can't understand you. Oh, no.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Does what? It hurt my feeling. What hurts your feelings? When you he be like, oh, she call you doing it again.

[Wendy]

I can't hear you.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

When I say to you I'm coming for a certain reason, you got me on the cell phone like, oh, she is crazy drunk. I'm not.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

I didn't say that, ma'.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Am. Well, don't let me out. Don't like me out. Don't lock me up. I said, if you want to lock me up, come lock me up. That's what I cry. Did you hear that? Yeah, I heard it.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Then she starts chewing out the 911 dispatcher.

[Wendy]

She's, like, drunk and bipolar.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

So now we've gone from concerned. Now she was sad. And then we got to get into the third call, which is very short, which is angry.

[Wendy]

Oh, she called again.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

She calls again.

[Wendy]

Oh,

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

Come arrest me. Hello, y'. All address right now. Come arrest me. All right, I'll let him know. Thank you.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And there you have it. And she has no recollection of any of it whatsoever.

[Wendy]

That's the worst trunk dial you could ever make.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

You never do that.

[Bubba Wallace]

Get it?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

The Burt Show. You're on the Birch Show. We're looking for teachers that have secrets about their students parents that the parents have no idea the teacher knows about. Kid comes to school, it's all innocent, but just starts talking about what's going on at home. And either the teacher picks up on it or they're talking to another kid. And either way, your secrets are revealed.

[Wendy]

They don't have any filter. They don't know not to just talk about what's happening at home.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

So we'll call her. Isabella. Good morning.

[Wendy]

Good morning.

[Isabella]

How are you?

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Good. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Wendy]

Okay, good. I had a student come to school last week, and her parents are newly separated. And she was telling me that her

[Isabella]

mom is running out of money, so

[Wendy]

during the day, she has to hug

[Isabella]

on some man so they will get money.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

How old is the child?

[Isabella]

Eight years old.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Eight years old and just has no idea, really what that's all about?

[Wendy]

Oh, not at all.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

So the men are coming over. So the. The daughter is seeing the men come over the house?

[Wendy]

Well, I don't know if it's men. She. It could be one man. It could be more than one. I really didn't start asking questions after that.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Sure, sure. Thank you for calling.

[Wendy]

Oh, how sad. How sad for that child once she gets old enough to know what mommy did.

[Joel]

Edward.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Good morning. You're on the Voice disguiser. What secret do you know about one of your students parents that the parents don't know? You know, I have a student in one of my classes who the mom is actually having an affair with one of the other teachers.

[Joel]

Teachers at our school.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And you found this out through the child? Yeah. The child said that the teacher was coming over to help his mom. And I mean, we. It's obviously not like yard work help by any means. How old is the student? 7. 7. This is the age range we're talking about. The 7 year olds are coming and they don't know. You know, it's. They're doing it maliciously.

[Wendy]

Yeah. They're not savvy enough to know it's a secret, but they're aware enough. The parents have to tell them something.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

We'll call you, Julie.

[Wendy]

That's the age where we have to start teaching children to lie or speaking in pig Latin. Hello.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Hi. Go ahead.

[Wendy]

Sorry.

[911 Caller / Dispatcher]

I'm sorry.

[Wendy]

I have a student who taught me that her mom and dad were arguing all weekend because her mom found out about her dad's girlfriend.

[Bubba Wallace]

Oh.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And how old is the child there? Seven? Eight?

[Wendy]

Fourth grade. Nine going on 10.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Nine going on 10. So she, that age, does she. She knows all about, like, what that's all about?

[Wendy]

Oh, yeah. The kids are very. These kids today are not like, they're not naive. They know about a lot of things. They're very worldly at an early age. So, yeah, she knew. She just told it like it was okay.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

And Teacher Jen, good morning. You're on the Voice Disguiser.

[Wendy]

Morning. Yeah, I worked in a daycare about a year ago, and I had a little boy come in and he said, daddy got to ride in a police car last night. You know, why did. What happened? Why would he ride a police car? He said, well, Grandma called the police on him because Daddy hit Mommy.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

Oh, no.

[Wendy]

That got sad.

[Bubba Wallace]

It did.

[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Joel]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Joel]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Wendy]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Wendy]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Wendy]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Wendy]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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[Wendy]

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[Host (possibly Burt or main show host)]

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