The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, March 6 [Vault]

Podcast: The Bert Show
Date: March 6, 2026
Episode Focus: Relationships, Attraction, and Postpartum Intimacy
Main Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Lindell, Carl, Melissa

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives deep into the complexities of romantic relationships—specifically focusing on why people stay in relationships with partners they may no longer like but still find attractive or sexually satisfying. The hosts and callers discuss the gender differences in enduring unsatisfying relationships for physical reasons, the bragging rights that come from dating someone conventionally "hot," and how this dynamic plays out differently for men and women. In the latter half, the conversation pivots to intimacy in marriage after childbirth, exploring the effects of witnessing childbirth on sexual desire and discussing open communication between partners.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Long Do You Stay With Someone Just Because They're Hot?

[01:00-10:12]

• Bert introduces the topic by wondering how long men stay with women they're not mentally interested in, just because the physical side is good. He says, “A guy will stay in a relationship with somebody that is hot … way longer than you think he can.” (Bert, 02:21)
• Lindell shares her boyfriend’s wisdom: "Hot will get you through the first date, but that's about it." Bert disagrees, believing men can last much longer if the chemistry is right.
• Carl and Melissa debate: Carl jokes that women will also stick it out if the man is rich, while Melissa claims women have a shorter tolerance for empty relationships unless there’s financial security.

Notable Quotes:

• “[Men] will stay in a relationship ... way longer than you think we can.” – Bert (02:46)
• “Women will stay if he’s rich.” – Carl (03:53)
• “We just want you to speak to us. That's it.” – Lindell (02:13)

Callers Share:

• Nick: Stayed four months in a relationship just for the physical appeal, even after being annoyed within a few weeks. (05:05)
• Lauren (female caller): With a man for seven months mostly due to attraction, despite thinking he’s “so dumb.” (06:13)
• Scott: Stayed for three and a half years with a partner who annoyed him after three months—“She was a freak.” (06:42, 07:00)
• Mike: Four and a half years in a relationship where the attraction and sex kept him in despite emotional dissatisfaction. (08:16)

Gender Contrast:

• Bert and co-hosts discuss that men often stick around for the physical perks, while women may return for “size” or find themselves similarly stuck—but usually have more emotional needs or alternative motivations like wealth or status.

2. The Impact of Childbirth on Intimacy

[13:13–24:15]

Caller Emily’s Dilemma:

• Emily calls in, explaining that her husband has not wanted sex since witnessing the birth of their baby six months ago. She worries he’s traumatized by the experience and wonders what to do.

Hosts’ and Callers’ Experiences:

• Bert: Shares that watching his children’s births didn’t affect his desire, but knows men who were “traumatized” by seeing childbirth up close.
  • “He couldn’t shake the image out of his head … for six months after.” – Bert about his friend (16:36)
• Melissa: Affirms that for some men, the biology of childbirth can be jarring and affect attraction.
• Caller Ashley: Echoes Emily’s experience, saying her husband struggled with sexual attraction after seeing childbirth, and communication helped them through it. (16:57)
• Caller Scott: Reassures Emily that her husband will likely recover and emphasizes patience. “He saw things he shouldn't have seen … You have to be patient with him.” (18:21)
• Lindell and Carl comment on generational change—men used to wait outside, now they're present for the whole process, which can cause unexpected issues. (21:02)

Psychological Insights:

• The group discusses how witnessing childbirth can turn something sexual into something purely functional, and how important honest (but tactful) conversation is.
• Bert and others stress that if a man is struggling with weight gain during pregnancy or post-birth body changes, he should never, ever tell his wife—“Take that to the grave.” (23:19)

Notable Quotes:

• “There is no gentle and nurturing way to say that.” – Bert on men sharing negative feelings about post-birth bodies (23:48)
• “You better never share that. Never, never, never.” – Bert (23:19)
• “Guys can really work around almost anything in order to get sex.” – Bert (22:39)
• “He’s got nobody to talk to about this, really. The only person he has to talk to is you.” – Bert (22:11)

Memorable Moments

• Bragging Rights: Several male callers cite keeping attractive partners for the ego boost and status: “Bragging rights and definitely the extras that came along with it.” – Caller Mike (08:53)
• Melissa quips: “Just shh. Sit right there and look good. Just don't talk.” (03:47)
• Bert’s advice for men unsure about their feelings post-childbirth: “Lie, gentlemen, lie.” (24:15)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00–08:12]: Main discussion—how long men and women stay in relationships for physical reasons
• [08:16–10:12]: Callers share relationship endurance stories; differences in what keeps each gender engaged
• [13:13–24:15]: Sex and intimacy after childbirth—caller Emily’s story, male perspectives, and how to talk it out
• [23:15–24:15]: Final relationship advice from the hosts—when to lie and when to talk

Conclusion

This candid, humor-laden episode of The Bert Show offers a no-holds-barred look at why people stay in unfulfilling relationships—be it for looks, sex, status, or money—and how these decisions differ by gender. It also explores the rarely discussed reality of lost sexual desire after childbirth, advocating for honest spousal communication, patience, and, sometimes, strategic white lies. As always, the Bert Show keeps it real and relatable, with plenty of zingers and genuine listener stories.