Full Show PT 2: Friday, May 22 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, May 22 [Vault]

Release Date: May 22, 2026
Episode Focus: Celebrity voicemail scandals, "stepping into psycho" relationship behaviors, holiday decorating when single, and awkward guest overstays.

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show delivers a mix of entertainment news and relatable real-life dilemmas, blending humor and candid discussion. The team dissects infamous celebrity voicemails, invites listeners to confess their own “psycho” relationship behaviors, debates the merits of putting up a Christmas tree when single, and shares funny/frustrating stories of holiday house guests who overstay their welcome. The conversation features The Bert Show’s trademark wit, authenticity, and a willingness to tackle the messier side of relationships and family life.

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Celebrity Voicemail Scandals: A Walk Down Memory Lane

[01:31 – 13:11]

Key Discussion Points

• The hosts open with a look at notorious celebrity voicemails, focusing on Tiger Woods, Alec Baldwin, and Pat O’Brien.
• Listeners and hosts react to these voicemails, with plenty of humor, analysis, and mockery.
• Tiger Woods’ infamous “take your name off your phone” voicemail becomes the subject of commentary and even gets remixed into an R&B slow jam.
• The Alec Baldwin voicemail to his 11-year-old daughter is replayed and discussed for its intensity.
• Pat O'Brien’s cringe-worthy party voicemail is re-enacted and dissected for its awkwardness.

Notable Quotes

• On Tiger’s Voicemail:
  “Can you please take your name off your phone?... Just have it as your telephone number. That’s it. Okay, you gotta do this for me quickly.” (Tiger Woods, [01:51])

• On Alec Baldwin’s Rant:
  “I want to tell you something, okay? ... I’m tired of playing this game with you. ... You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. ... you have humiliated me for the last time... you rude little pig. Thoughtless little pig.” (Alec Baldwin, [03:18-05:13])

• On Pat O’Brien’s Voicemail:
  “You’re so hot. I wanted you. I don’t want you to... I don’t want my girlfriend...” (Pat O'Brien, [06:09])

Memorable Moments

• Hosts joke about whether some voicemails would be “sexy” if left by Brad Pitt but “gross” from Pat O’Brien (around [06:43]).
• The Tiger Woods voicemail gets set to R&B music, leading to laughter over its melodramatic effect ([10:25]).

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"Stepping Into Psycho": Real Listeners, Real Confessions

[14:18 – 26:56]

Key Discussion Points

• The segment invites listeners to reveal the times they’ve “stepped into psycho,” meaning they’ve behaved irrationally or crossed boundaries in relationships.
• Mary calls in, admitting to tailing her boyfriend to Virginia after discovering cybersex exchanges between him and another woman. She plans to catch him in the act and possibly vandalize property.
• Julie confesses she’s considering spying on her sort-of-ex, installing surveillance software on his new laptop (with her brother’s help) to monitor his online activities.
• The show clarifies that it’s not doling out advice—just riding along with the story.

Notable Quotes

• Mary (on tailing her boyfriend):
  “I am gonna break up with him. I just want to see if he's really going there...the boob shot is with her boobs out and her fingers in her mouth, like she wants him to come and get it.” ([16:00])

• Julie (on the laptop switching plan):
  “My brother suggested, why don't I go and buy the same exact laptop that my boyfriend got...install some kind of spy software...so I could see for sure...basically, the new laptop would be a mirror image of my boyfriend’s laptop.” ([21:18])

Memorable Moments

• The co-hosts riff on hacking “accidentally,” with lines like “I accidentally guessed 79 passwords and the 80th was his—accidentally.” ([15:25])
• Justification spirals: Listeners and hosts highlight the lengths people go to convince themselves their “psycho” behavior is okay.

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Should You Decorate for Christmas When Single?

[28:39 – 35:55]

Key Discussion Points

• The show explores whether single people should bother with Christmas trees and decorating, prompted by one co-host’s question to her social media followers.
• Audience responses are split: some say it’s not worth it unless you’re hosting, others advocate doing it for yourself.
• The hosts and callers discuss the difference between real trees, fake trees, and alternatives like scented sprays to simulate the experience.

Notable Quotes

• Brittany’s Advice (via Facebook/Twitter):
  “I always decorated for me, not for anyone else, so do what you want to do.” ([32:21])

• Co-host, on solo decorating:
  “If I was single and alone, I wouldn’t even decorate the house, honestly.” ([32:47])

Memorable Moments

• The host calculates how many Santa figurines his wife has—over/under bets start at 35 and get “Definitely over,” with jokes about “Santa for romantic nights.” ([35:06])

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When Holiday Guests Overstay Their Welcome

[37:33 – 46:18]

Key Discussion Points

• Inspired by a friend’s creative effort to get houseguests to leave (pretending to attend church), the team discusses boundaries with holiday guests.
• The difficulty of asking guests to leave and etiquette around setting time limits is debated.
• Listeners call with stories: a family planning a 10-day visit that stretched to 5 weeks after a skateboarding accident; a mother-in-law’s “two-week” help after childbirth turning into six weeks.
• The “friends, family, and fish get old after four days” adage is quoted.

Notable Quotes

• On Overstaying:
  “Friends, family, and fish are only good for four days. And after that, they gotta go.” — Denisha, caller ([43:20])

• Co-host, on boundaries:
  “How come when somebody’s being rude to you, if you call them out on it, you’re worried about being rude?” ([40:52])

Memorable Moments

• One caller says she hesitated to ask for help post-surgery “because I was afraid [the mother-in-law] would stay too long,” revealing how lingering guests can impact life decisions. ([45:11])

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Conclusion

This episode is classic Bert Show: celebrity scandal, relatable stories, comedic banter, and honest reflections on everyday dilemmas. Whether you’re laughing at infamous voicemails, cringing at “psycho” confessionals, searching for Christmas tree motivation, or plotting ways to reclaim your home from visitors, there’s a delightfully real and hilarious moment here for everyone.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Celebrity voicemail segment: [01:31 – 13:11]
• “Stepping Into Psycho” listener calls: [14:18 – 26:56]
• Christmas tree debate: [28:39 – 35:55]
• Holiday guest overstays: [37:33 – 46:18]

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If you missed the episode, this summary brings you the highlights: all the drama, laughter, and “Did we just say that out loud?” moments that make The Bert Show a favorite for morning listeners.

Transcript

[Jan from Toyota]

Hey, campers, it's Jan from Toyota. This summer we're headed to Camp Toyota, and the fun starts now. We're kicking things off by kicking up mud. Jump in, campers. We're going off roading in a 4Runner. Next, we're heading to the hot springs in Arav 4. And finally, park your tundras and Tacomas around the campfire because we're roasting marshmallows. This summer starts here.

[Toyota Dealer Announcement]

Dealer inventory may vary. So your participating Toyota dealer for details. And then ends June 1st.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Toyota, let's go places.

[United Van Lines Announcer]

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[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Tiger Woods. Man, the voicemail. It's not the first celebrity we've heard from to get busted on voicemail. Right?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Jon Goslin just a couple of weeks ago. Because Michael had taped it, right?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

That's right. Well, we'll start with Tiger again here. Okay, this was just from a couple of days ago when Tiger's in a bit of a panic.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and maybe calling you. If you can please take your name off that. And what do you call it? Just have it as a number on the voice. Now just have it as your telephone number. That's it. Okay, you gotta do this for me quickly. All right, bye.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I was reading somewhere the other day that he actually left that voicemail the day before Thanksgiving. So that could have caused the Thanksgiving Day fight.

Yeah, it was the 24th, I think, whatever day. The 24th was that?

Yeah, the day before.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Say that to me one more time.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

He left that on Wednesday before Thanksgiving and then Thanksgiving night into Friday. Wasn't that when.

[Caller or Male Participant]

Oh, no.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Because didn't they say that the. He left that for the grubs? And it was the. You could. You could. You could Laylee. What's her name?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Rachel? You could tell me.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

You could tell me.

Yeah.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

You could trust me.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah. She's the one who is supposed to, who is supposed to have started the fight that busted up his house. Well, I think he's leaving too. Dude, you got people to leave messages for you.

Well, and I think his, his whole thing, My wife just went through my phone. I mean, no tone house. Many people were in there. So I think that's what started that.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

So here you have the classic Alan Baldwin. This one's actually difficult to listen to because remember how he got off on his daughter? Remember this?

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

Hey, I want to tell you something, okay? And I want to leave a message for you right now because again, it's 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday and once again I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time. When the time comes for me to make the phone call, I stop whatever I'm doing and I go and I make that phone call at 11 o' clock in the morning in New York. And if you don't pick up the phone at 10 o' clock at night and you don't even have that damn phone turned on, I want you to know something, okay? I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a Damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do. As far as I'm concerned, you have humiliated me for the last time with this phone. And when I come out there next week, I'm going to fly out there for the day just to straighten you out.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Oh boy.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

On this issue, I'm gonna let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again. You've made me feel like and you've made me feel like a fool over and over and over again. And as crap you pull on me with this damn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother. And you do it to me constantly and over and over again. I am going to get on a plane and I'm going to come out there for the day and I'm going to straighten your Ass out when I see you. Do you understand me?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Remember this.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

I'm going to really make sure you get it.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I feel like I'm in trouble.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I'm going to get on the plane,

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

I'm going to turn around and I'm going to come home. So you better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me. So I'm going to let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you really are. Thoughtless little pig.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, ouch, ouch.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Two minutes to an 11 year old right now, he tried to defend that. I just can't remember.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Was that only two minutes long?

It was two minutes.

It felt like it was ten.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Oh, you guys remember Pat o'? Brien? He was the sportscaster and I think he was having an affair also. Right. And his.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I thought he was the. Not a sportscaster. I thought. Wasn't he the one who did like the entertainment shows?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah, he was a sportscaster first.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And then he became like the inside Hollywood guy.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, okay. I have only known him as the inside Hollywood guy.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And I believe this is Pat o' Brien leaving the party voicemail for his girlfriend.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

You're so hot. I wanted you. I don't want you to. I don't want my girlfriend.

[Caller or Male Participant]

You are.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

Let's do it. You are so hot.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Gross.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

Go to the bathroom and leave your voicemail. Bye.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You're not even good at that.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I can't repeat the same thing over and over and over.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

And it's one of those things where it depends on. It depends on. This is where if you looked good, if this was Brad Pitt doing that.

[Jan from Toyota]

Yeah.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

You're kind of dorky, but okay. It's sexy. Pat o' Brien is gross. You know what I'm saying?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

If you don't.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

If you don't

think of him kissing you with that mustache of his.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

He smells like mothballs, I think.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And again, you got to get more creative in that you can't say the same things over and over. And I think she's like, okay, I get it. What else?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

How'd you get him off to hold still that long?

That's the only thing he knows. He's drunk.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

He was hammered. He was hammered.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

All right.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And then there's. I think this is Jimmy Dean, the sausage dude.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

No, it's not.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I think it is. Yeah.

[Caller or Male Participant]

Randy Taylor. I don't know where you people come from. I don't know. If you test your products, your quantity of your product, your products. Very delicious. Love your sausage for 30 something years, but I can't Take and feed a family of five on a little 12 ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying you more money for your 16 ounce roll of sausage.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Is this somebody leaving a voicemail for

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Jimmy D's calling the customer service line, remember? And he's mad because they've adjusted the packaging.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

O okay, don't have it anymore.

[Caller or Male Participant]

You've got a 12 ounce roll and you got three men that weigh over 200 pounds a piece. A woman that's a little plump scotch girl and a daughter who's 13. And you're going to try to take a 12 ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that. It ain't going to work. And I'm not going to purchase your product anymore or ever again. And as far as your 16 ounces maple and sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the north. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean sausage is for southern people to eat with the breakfast with the fried eggs and the T bone steaks.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I agree.

[Caller or Male Participant]

And I can't see going to a little 12 ounce package to feed four, five, six pieces. And I'm not gonna buy two of those 12 ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same damn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your 16 ounce package on your regular because I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to 30 something years ago. It's not as tasty as yours is, but it'll work. Goodbye little 12 ounce damn roll of sausage. And you 600 pounds of men. least. You get my point. And the two girls and they put it in that roll of salt. Son of a. Somebody needs kid. Some little consumer geekeroid this up.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Oh so bad.

[Caller or Male Participant]

Save money. Yes, save money. Save money. I'm gonna eat. Damn it.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

That's funny.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Oh that's great.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Could you imagine getting yourself so worked up over that that you actually pick up the phone and leave a two minute message? Good morning Liz. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Good morning. Heck. Well, I was caught up by the Tiger woods voice mode, but you're gonna have to replay that one because I was holding and I didn't even. I don't even know who that was, but that sounded funny.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

Funny?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You initially called to hear the Tiger

[Female Caller or Participant]

woods voicemail again because I totally missed it. I was putting my son on the bus and I. I haven't heard him. Please play it again for me.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Okay, here it is. Here it is.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

It's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and maybe calling you. If you can please take your name off that. And what do you call it? Just have it as a number on the voice. Now just have it as your telephone number. That's it. Okay, you gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Alright, bye now.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Somebody with entirely too much time on their hands has made that into an R B slow jam.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Oh no.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You guys ready for this?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yes.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Sound like an R. Kelly song.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

Hey, it's. It's Tiger. Please can you take your name off your phone? My wife answered my phone and made me call. Take your name off your phone. Just have it as a number.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

Your whole body's moving and your senses are more heightened and everything seems to

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

flow better again and again and again.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I can't understand what he's saying right there.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

This is just the audio from voice. Maui freaky girl. Sound effects in the background.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

Can you change your name?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Hilarious.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

My wife went through my phone and made me call. Take your name off your phone. Just have it as a number. Take your name off your phone. My wife went through my phone and made me call. Take your name.

[Jace Medical Announcer]

The Birch Show A warning from Jace Medical. Even if the war stops, the real shortages won't because of how slow ships move. For most of this war, the US was still receiving oil that set sail months ago. But other parts of the world are already feeling it. Asia, Europe, Africa. That's why prices are rising now, because demand is increasing as supply tightens. But the US is just beginning to experience the real shortage. And even if things stabilize, the ripple effects will last for much, much longer. Oil doesn't just power your car. It powers the systems that make and deliver your medications. And when supply slows, access becomes less predictable. The difference between panic and peace is preparedness. With Jayce, the Jace case is a doctor prescribed emergency supply of essential medications and prescription antibiotics delivered right to your door. So you're already ready when you need it. Get your Jace case [e-mail] this episode

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[Jan from Toyota]

Hey, campers, it's Jan from Toyota. This summer we're headed to Camp Toyota and the fun starts now. We're kicking things off by kicking up mud. Jump in, campers. We're going off roading in a 4Runner. Next, we're heading to the hot springs in Arav 4. And finally, park your Tundras and Tacomas around the campfire. Because we're roasting marshmallows. We're dumber. Dart here.

[Toyota Dealer Announcement]

Dealer inventory may vary, so your participating Toyota dealer for details. Event hands to you first, Toyota.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Let's go places. The vert show. All right, so you're planning on stepping into Psycho this weekend. It's pretty meditated. You're normally pretty cool about things, but you've just been pushed. So this is the weekend you're gonna do something about it. Kind of crazy.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

And we're talking about more than just the drive by because everybody's done the drive by, you know, see if their car's there, see if the lights are on at home. If you put anybody else's car is there.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

If you put a key to the

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

car that's stepping into size, go right 404741Q100. And we'll put you on the voice disguiser. Here is Mary. Good morning.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hello.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Hello.

[Mary (Caller)]

I'm not that crazy.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Well, we'll determine that.

[Mary (Caller)]

Okay. I'm tailing my boyfriend to Virginia.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Oh, yes, you are.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Yes, you're right. Why?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Why?

[Mary (Caller)]

Because. Ok, I saw this thing on Facebook. It says don't let Facebook ruin your relationship. Okay. He is cheating on me through Facebook with a girl that we went to high school with. And I kind of hacked into his email a little bit.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Kinda. Kinda.

I accidentally guessed 79 passwords and the 80th was his. Accidentally.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Now, what exactly did you see on his Facebook page that makes you think that he's.

[Mary (Caller)]

Apparently, I found out that they've been having a little bit of cyber sex.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, that's gross.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Did you see the actual.

[Mary (Caller)]

And the email she wrote? I had a really fun time talking with you. I've never been that intimate with anybody on the Internet ever. Before in my life.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

That'll ruin a keyboard.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Maybe she was sharing feelings.

[Mary (Caller)]

No, because she said she sent him a picture of her boobs.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Well, that was pretty much a dead giveaway.

Now, was that. Do you know if that was intentional? Because sometimes, you know, if you're just trying to launch a program or whatever, that'll accidentally happen.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Right? Yeah, you.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Maybe she's having, like, throat problems, and she was taking a picture of her throat to show him to get, you know, like, a second opinion, and she accidentally slipped and went a little south on it.

[Mary (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Okay.

[Mary (Caller)]

The boob shot is with her boobs out and her fingers in her mouth, like she wants him to come and get it.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, dang. Why don't you just break up with this guy? Why are you following him to Virginia to figure this out?

[Mary (Caller)]

I am gonna break up with him. I just want to see if he's really going there.

[Female Caller or Participant]

He.

[Mary (Caller)]

He was going there to see her, but he also said that he was gonna go to, like, to a concert with his friends, like, the guy friends.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

He told her he was gonna see

[Mary (Caller)]

where she lives, so I just want to see where she lives.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Did he tell you that he's going up there to see her?

[Mary (Caller)]

No, he said that he was going to Virginia, and then he said that he was gonna go to see her, like, in the email.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

All right, this isn't a segment, and this isn't a segment to judge the psycho. This is just. This is our ride with her.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, let's go.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah, I mean, take the trip. You know, these things, they rarely. Rarely work out, though. Like, you have to be a private investigator, and, I mean, you got to be trained to tail somebody without getting caught.

[Mary (Caller)]

Oh, my God. One of my ex boyfriends was a police officer. I know how to tail a few people. I've done it maybe once or twice.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Mary, here's my question. If you tail him all the way to her house and he's at her house, then what's your plan? Cuz I know you're not just going to sit in the driveway.

[Mary (Caller)]

Well, no, actually, I plan on ruining her car a little bit and ruining the rental car that he has and then going to my family, because my family lives in Virginia, and I've been to Virginia like, 20 times already, so.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And where has he told you he's going this weekend?

[Mary (Caller)]

He said Hampton, because there's a Hampton Coliseum and he's going to go to a college car a concert there. But the chick doesn't live in Hampton. She lives in Norfolk.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Why you gotta have Such hatred for Hampton. I know Hampton said he was going to Hampton.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Did he even tell you what concert he was allegedly going to?

[Mary (Caller)]

No, he didn't, because I went to the kids concert when they were in Hampton, and I haven't heard of any other concerts being played since then. So that's why I'm suspicious. Like, there are no concerts, because the last one I was at was the kids concert, and there is nothing there.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You're part of the Kiss army. You're in the know.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

If you do this. If you do this, then you got to get all, like, MTV Dramatical on him. And when you.

[Mary (Caller)]

And I'm going to bring a video camera, too.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Perfect.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

This is good stuff.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

And. And you need to bust in there, and you need to say, I got a concert for you. It's called I'm about to beat this girl's ass. Yeah, Concert Palooza.

[Mary (Caller)]

If I. Because if. If he. Because he. He says that there's, like, nothing going on or whatever, that they're just talking on the Internet. And then I said, well, I saw your emails. He's like, no, you didn't. And then he erased them before I got back up there through his phone.

[Female Caller or Participant]

He erased them.

[Mary (Caller)]

And then when I got. When he got back up there to show me the emails, they weren't there.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

All right, Mary, let me do this. Let me put you on hold. You are a perfect, perfect candidate to follow in your stepping into Psycho weekend. Okay, so we'll get your phone number, and then we'll talk to you on Monday, and we'll see how you executed the plan. Okay?

[Mary (Caller)]

Okay.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Be careful and good luck, and don't go to jail. May the force be with you.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Godspeed, man.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I love how with stepping into Psycho that we get the whole lowdown, like we're the girlfriend. Okay.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, my God.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

And so then, okay, he. He erases through his phone, and he erase a message as soon as I talk to him. And then, you know, there had been a concert in Hampton in 15 years, but I wouldn't say kids and there's no concert anymore.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Well, you know why that is? Because you're justifying your own craziness.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yes.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Because you normally wouldn't do this, but here's the evidence that has pushed me into being psycho. The only thing there is that she said she's trailed two or three other guys before, so that's not stepping into Psycho.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

You're there.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

This is not out of character for her.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Good morning. Julie, you're on the voice disguiser.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hey, guys. How are you?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Good how are you?

[Female Caller or Participant]

I'm okay. I don't know what I'm doing, but

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I'll tell you, you don't sound nearly as confident.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I'll tell you anyway. Okay, so I'm kind of seeing my ex boyfriend. We're kind of on in a limbo area right now, so I think that alone is making me a little on edge.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Anyway, you're in the midst of a relapse.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Yeah, we broke up. And then now we're kind of dating again or hanging out, and I'm getting a little. I'm just wondering. He says he's not seeing anybody else, but I'm not completely sure. So anyway, that's where we are.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Okay.

[Female Caller or Participant]

But he. Black Friday, he was so excited, he went and bought a new laptop. He had been planning on doing this for weeks, and he was super excited. And he got the exact one he wanted. He didn't have to, like, get into a fist fight with anybody on Black Friday. And he got his laptop. So this is my brother's idea, by the way. I'm not completely

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

stepped up.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Justification number one.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Okay.

[Female Caller or Participant]

He's got my genetic makeup, so maybe we're both crazy. So he suggested. My brother suggested, why don't I go and buy the same exact laptop that my boyfriend or whatever ex boyfriend got? Because my brother has the idea that he can install some kind of spy software where I can see exactly what my boyfriend is doing, like on email and Facebook and any IM that he gets, basically, the new laptop would be a mirror image. It would be like a clone of my boyfriend's laptop so I could see for sure. He says he's not seeing anybody, but I don't 100% believe him. And we're not 100% back together.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

So what do you do? You buy the laptop and put the stuff on it, but then you have to swap the laptops.

[Mary (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Female Caller or Participant]

So he hasn't set his laptop up yet. It's still in the box. But this weekend he's spending that. Now that Thanksgiving's over, he has the time to sit down and really get into it. And he's super excited. And I've asked him, like, when are

[Mary (Caller)]

you gonna do it?

[Female Caller or Participant]

And he said, definitely this weekend. So as soon as he sets up his laptop, then my brother can come in and do. I mean, I'm not a computer genius. My brother is.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

So this apparently is pretty easy. We're going to be working with a company called BigDaddy spy.com over the next couple of weeks, and this is apparently pretty easy to do.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Really?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Like, install the. Yeah, I mean, you can. You can read text messages. You can listen to voicemail.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Their website kind of freaked me out.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah, they've got everything there that you need. And this is. Apparently, if you know what you're doing with the computer, it's pretty easy stuff. So are you assuming that the software will be installed this weekend and you will start to read the messages this weekend also?

[Female Caller or Participant]

I hope, like, if he does it tomorrow, you know, maybe Sunday, I'll get some information.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

So how. So your brother has to explain to me how this is gonna work. Like, your brother?

[Female Caller or Participant]

You bought you my brother? I'm not completely sure, but my brother assures me that once my boyfriend sets up his computer and we set up my new laptop, then we swap them out, and maybe he installs something on my boyfriend's computer, too, so that I can monitor it from my laptop.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

Whoa.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Yeah, I mean, it's not good.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I'm curious. Maybe I checked out for this part of the conversation. What has he done to make you feel like he's doing something wrong, that you have to. To install this on his computer?

[Female Caller or Participant]

Just stuff, like, he's not 100% available all the time. Like, he. You know, I'll be like, last minute. I'll be like, oh, let's hang out tonight. He's like, oh, I can't. I'm like, oh, are you hanging out with Chris? And he's like, no. So he's not really giving. He's not letting me in, you know, to his world, like. Like he was before, and he was never like that. So I'm like, okay, so are you hiding something? That's my.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

But is he really hiding anything if you guys aren't officially back together?

[Female Caller or Participant]

Well, I mean, are we gonna go forward or are we not? That's what this whole thing is about. Like, I want to know, am I gonna trust you and know that we're gonna be together together, or am I just gonna be one of two or three people? And I don't want to do that.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

So quick question. When did you. How long ago did you guys break up?

[Female Caller or Participant]

We broke up, like, in. I don't know, maybe three or four months ago. But we were always talking, like, during the breakup, because we had been dating for two years, and we were best friends and going out, and so, you know, naturally hanging out and talking to each other. You know, we still love each other, so it kind of develop.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And remember, this is not an advice segment.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

No.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

We're just going along with the journey.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Right. And I do Want to ask you a question, having never spied on anybody like that before. So how, how long do you spy to get evidence on whether you should move forward with them or not? Like, I'm just curious if this weekend you think you're going to get enough

[Female Caller or Participant]

information to move forward so, because obviously I can read all his email. I can go into his private messages on Facebook. I mean, I'm kind of getting nauseous even talking about it because this is not the type of thing that I do. And I'm. This feels a little desperate to me, but I'm.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Now you're doing it anyway.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You're good. So if you don't get the information this weekend, will you uninstall all the stuff that you're going to put on it?

[Female Caller or Participant]

I don't know.

That's going to be hell.

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

No.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

That is like me having this huge brownie fudge dessert in front of me and I was gonna take a bite.

Yeah.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Crap.

[Mary (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I don't know if I, I'm eating the whole thing.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Honey, point of doing all this is so I can find something so I'm not. If it doesn't happen Sunday, I'd like it to happen Monday.

[Mary (Caller)]

Tuesday.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I mean, I, I, that's kind of

[Male Co-host or Caller]

why I was asking.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah. So you're looking for something to stay out of the relationship?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yes.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I'd like to be back with him, but if there's something out there, I'm not interested.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Okay.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

This is the pure definition of what we're looking for right here.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Perfect.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

We'll see you on Monday.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Okay. Julie, thank you very much for sharing. Let me put you on hold and we'll get your phone number and we'll find out how everything works out on Monday. Okay?

[Female Caller or Participant]

Okay, thanks.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Those couldn't be any better examples of what stepping in a psycho is.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Than those two right there. So we will check back in with them Monday morning at 7:30 and find out how it all went.

[The Bird Show Announcer]

The bird show

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[Jace Medical Announcer]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[The Bird Show Announcer]

The Bird Show.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I have a question for the single people.

[Jan from Toyota]

Oh, that's me.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

All the single ladies. Do you put up a Christmas tree or do you not? And this is something I asked on my Facebook page yesterday. Like, to tree or not to tree? That is the question when you're single because you want to get a Christmas tree and get into the spirit of everything. And like, last night I started cleaning up so I could pull out the Christmas decorations that I have. And I've got these dishes that I only use during Christmas time. They've got little gold trees on them or whatever. And so I was thinking, okay, first of all, how am I gonna get it into my car and into my house by myself? Can I?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You're not some, like, weak woman that can't handle a Christmas tree herself.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, but they're heavy.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

They're heavy. And there's sometimes, especially if you want to get a big one. And I live in a loft with humongous ceilings, so it can't get, like, a wimpy tree. Like, it'd have to be a pretty good size, you know, a good sized one so that it sort of like, fills out. And then, like, it's the balancing act of getting it into the Christmas tree stand and screwing it in and all that kind of stuff. So I started going through the logistics of it in my mind, and then I'm like, okay, is it worth it? Is it worth it to spend the money on it? Is it worth it? If anybody else is gonna see it, I'll probably have girlfriends over this holiday season and, you know, like, might have some visitors from out of town. And so I was thinking, you know, that Would be kind of a cool thing to do. But is it worth it? And do single people always get Christmas trees or not? And then the response on the Facebook page is like, more comments than I've ever gotten on anything else I've ever posted.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

404-741-Q100. What are some of the. On the Facebook page.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Hang on one second. Let me pull it up.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I say if you have friends over and you have guys that are coming over, I'd say put up a tree. But all I did was put up a little fake tree. Like, it wasn't anything spectacular. And it still made me more depressed because there's not gonna be any gifts under that tree. I mean, all the gifts are gonna be like, because you don't have anybody to give you a present.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Never even thought of this. This may be a woman thing. When I was a single guy, I never even thought about putting up a Christmas tree.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I'm fascinated because I've. I mean, in my dating life, I was single far more than I was dating somebody, and I never. I never did anything different. Like, I put up a tree, and I did put up decorations and everything because. Just because I feel like. Yeah, because when I was single, my life was still the same as if I was dating somebody. So it sounds like. It almost sounds like it's not. Your singlehood is not as fulfilling as if you were with somebody. Like, it's only if there was a guy in your life. Is the only reason to put up a tree?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

No, not necessarily that, but, like, if you're not hosting any parties or having people over and you're only putting it

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

up for yourself, you don't have family

[Female Co-host or Caller]

here, and you don't have family. Is it worth the effort of putting it all up? I don't think it's necessarily just about a guy in your life. I think it's about having anybody else over to your house to actually see it. Or are you just gonna see it and enjoy it? You know?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Hey, Chris.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

Hey, guys. Thanks for having me. I just want to say, if you're gonna have guys come over, like, and they're potentially gonna be dates, then definitely put up a tree. Because last year I went to a girl's house, and we were just starting the day, and she didn't even want to put up a tree because of the whole I'm single type deal. But if you're just having friends over and it's nonchalant and it's just gonna be a couple girls, then, yeah, put

[Voice Actor or Tiger Woods Voicemail Imitator]

up a fake tree.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

That'd be good enough, right?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

That was the other debate. Real tree, fake tree.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I'd say get a real one if you're gonna have friends over. I think if you're hosting parties, you definitely need a tree.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I mean, it seems split down the middle. Some people are like, no tree. No sense in a tree just for one person. Other people says, another one says, I surprised you. I bought a real tree for several years and then it became too much trouble, so I bought a fake one a couple years ago. This year I bought some evergreen room spray from Bath and Body Works to spray on the tree. Maybe it'll fake people out.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Lol.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

That's from Monica. And so everybody kind of had a different take on it.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I thought Britney's advice to you was the best.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Which one was it?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I don't know if it came in on Facebook or Twitter or whatever.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

It probably came in on Twitter.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Brittany. Midday, Britney wrote, I always decorated for me, not for anyone else, so do what you want to do.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

That's what Melissa was saying.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

That's what everybody seems to be calling.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Yeah. I think it's sad that you don't

[Male Co-host or Caller]

think that even if it's just you, it's enough for the effort. Because to me, I mean, it's Christmas. Whether it's me in the house, you

[Female Co-host or Caller]

know, I'll decorate for me. But the tree thing, it seems like the next level.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

If I was single and alone, I wouldn't even decorate the house, honestly.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, I always had a trigger if

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I wasn't having anybody around. Hey, Nicole, Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hi, guys.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Hi.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I completely agree with Melissa, but I'm a total Christmas person and I just. I would live and Christmas decorated anything all year round, but I definitely think it would. She should definitely put up a tree. It'll help her get in the spirit. It's one of those things that'll always keep you in a good mood. I think she should definitely put up a tree.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah, it's like unanimous on the phones. Everybody's saying, do it for yourself.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Get it?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Hey, Christina, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hey, how are you?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Okay.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Yeah.

I said do it for yourself. Don't do it for anybody else. Worrying about a man coming over, anybody seeing it. It's all about what you're willing to do to make yourself happy.

[Alan Baldwin (voicemail speaker)]

If you want a tree up, put a tree up.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

This comes back to that mojo we were talking about. Do it for yourself.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I don't know that it's necessarily mojo either. It's really more of a practical. It was really more of a practical decision, like, you know, spending the money on all that stuff. And then I thought, okay, if I put it up, do I have enough ornaments to fill the tree? Or is it gonna be a tree with just lights on it?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

We could do a paper mache thing during one of our meetings and make you some.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I am scared of whatever you would make me.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Good morning, Alisa. You're part of the bird show.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hey, good morning. I say put up that tree. Do it for yourself. I mean, I could just sit by the lights and just drink some hot chocolate, listen to some music, and it makes you feel good. So regardless, if anybody sees it, you have it up. And if somebody comes in your life,

it won't be such a big thing

to, you know, to start from scratch.

So go ahead and put your tree up, girl, and enjoy yourself.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Okay? You got it, tree.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Unless Christmas just isn't as important to you as it is to these callers. I mean, unless.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

No, it definitely is.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Unless you don't care about the birth of baby Jesus like Melissa doesn't.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah. So if you don't put up a Christmas tree, you're an atheist.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I care about baby Jesus, but only beginning the day after Thanksgiving.

Yeah, you know what? So I think what the callers are saying are put up a tree or go to hell.

Well, I just. When you said about decorations, it's funny how I don't consider decorating for Christmas to be legitimate. Unless there's a tree.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Unless there is a tree.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, because I'm trying to think of what other. What other decorations would I put up?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh, there's all kinds of different, like

[Male Co-host or Caller]

dishes, hand towels, and you change your bathroom scenery up.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Why don't you come on over to my house and Stacy will school you on exactly what you can do with the house, even if you don't have a sand.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

But no, I said without a tree. Now, Stacy's got 15 trees in your house.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

There is one in every room, but if we took those out, I think she would just replace it with more Santas. I'm gonna count today how many Santas we have around the house.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Do you guys do the nativity?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Is there any nativity? There's like my little nativity in Hayden's room, but there's not a major one in the living room. But the amount of Santas that Stacy has collected over the years. Look, I'm gonna give you a number now. You guys guess if the final number will be over this number or under And I'll count today. 35 over. Definitely over 35. Santa's in our house. You'll go with the over over, over, over for sure.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Are you counting yourself in costume for the romantic nights?

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Not else Santa's.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Okay.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

All right.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I got some dynamite in my bag, honey.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

If I raise the number to 50, would you say over or under? Over 50.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, if he raises the number to infinity plus one over the Birch show

[Lowe's Announcer]

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[Jace Medical Announcer]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[The Bird Show Announcer]

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[Jace Medical Announcer]

Visit your nearby Lowe's.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

The Bird show so I was, you know, Thanksgiving weekend making the phone calls, catching up with people, talking to people, you know, friends from Arizona, friends from Syracuse, just seeing how everybody's doing. And one particular guy I spoke to was explaining to me what he was going to be doing the next morning. I was speaking to him on Saturday. He was explaining to me that on Sunday morning they have twin one year olds, I think baby, little babies. They are getting up. They don't go to church regularly, but they're getting up, they're getting dressed up, they're dressing the babies up and they're getting in a car and going to finger quotes church because the people who have been staying at their house over Thanksgiving are so annoying and were supposed to leave on Saturday and didn't so they made up going to church on Sunday morning. And then from church they had to do some, you know, church related, whatever, oh, we're gonna be gone all day, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So to them, it was worth it to get up in the morning, dress up the two one year old twins, put them in the car seat, get dressed up in church clothes themselves, load up the car, say goodbye, and take off rather than risk those people spending another full day at the house.

That's funny.

And that's. That's impressive. I was impressed.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Yeah, well, I think this is gonna be pretty common around Christmas also. It's like, how do you get the guests out of the house? They said they were gonna be there for three or four days. So what do you do? Like, I mean, do you sit them down, you don't offend them, or do you set the border, the parameters, before they get to the house and say, okay, great, you're gonna be here till Sunday. That sounds fantastic.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Well, you know, what if they just

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

decide not to, like, okay, you know what? Let's forget that we had that conversation. Stay on Monday and Tuesday.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

But here's the deal. And this is, this is a Jessica theory. So I don't know, you guys can. I don't know if I buy into it yet, but the problem with these people, where they drove in on Thanksgiving, the plan was for them to drive in on Thanksgiving and drive out on Saturday, because then you're missing the traffic. You know, Wednesday's the bad traffic day and Sunday's the bad traffic day. But when they drove in on. Drove home from work or whatever on Wednesday, it wasn't too bad. So after they got there, they decided to extend it till Sunday. But it wasn't really an ask. It was just, hey, we're gonna stay until Sunday. Guess what, we got an extra night. Blah, blah, blah. And there were other. Yeah, and I guess there were other things that were, like, borderline rude and invasive that were just kind of odd that my friend didn't know how to deal with. And this is something that Jessica and I have talked about. Jessica says in situations like that, people don't have a scale of rude. So you can say to them, hey, can you do me a favor and not drink all of the Diet Coke? Because that's all I drink. And you're giving it to your kids and they're drinking it all.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Wow.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Don't give. She thinks that's acceptable to people who behave like that. Whereas I think that if you say that to someone, then they'll turn around and give you the. Oh, my God, it's only Diet Coke. What do you want me.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I'll.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

You know what? I'm gonna drive to the store. Hey, everybody, I'm driving to the store for Jeff because he can only have his Diet Coke.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Like, I think, how come when somebody's being rude to you, if you call them out on it, you're worried about being rude?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

They can flip it back, like, if

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

they're staying there too long or what have you. Why all of a sudden is the pressure on you to be nice about it?

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Because some people don't.

Because they don't realize they're being rude. And you know you're being rude. I think that internally that may be the difference.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Where, you know, I don't think they realize.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

They don't realize that they're making you mad.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

They're uncomfortable. They assume that it is a joy to you to have them for two more nights than what you were expecting. Like, oh, we get to bond more. We get to spend more time together. You don't really have a life that you need to attend to. You need to attend to me as your house guest.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

That's my belief.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Was that a little close to home for you? It seems like you connected on some level there.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Maybe that's why I believe in cyber Christmas. Because that way you just get your little laptop cameras out and say, hey, you know what? We're gonna spend Christmas together online.

Meet you in the jag room at 10.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

If we were doing a birch show, Guinness Book of world's records, I wonder what. What number we could find as the agreed upon amount of days that your guests were going to be there turned into. How many days did they end up staying?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I think about this with my friends that have had babies on their first babies. The mom of the. The. The mom of the mom.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

So the grandmother.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Yes. The brand. The brand new grandmother comes and moves in for, like, weeks.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I'm cool with. See, I was totally cool with that. Like, some moms want it, but other moms want to start, like, being on the grandmother's health there. For me, it was like, stay as long as you want. We were begging Gigi to stay when she took off.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I don't know from the outside looking in. I'm like, a couple of weeks, but then after that, you're cramping my style. Like, I don't know.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You gotta get out from the outside looking in.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

I mean, I have a friend who's about to have a baby. It's her. I Think it's her first, and it's like a family friend, and her mom's moving in for a month and.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

But they said that in the beginning, right? Totally cool with that.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

This is before the baby's even born. A month.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Stay six months if you want.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I don't know.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

We were so different.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

What would the timeline be? One year.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

That's way too much.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

It didn't take long to give birth, I'd say.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

You know, what with Hayden, it was so different. We were so freaked out that she could have been in that house probably for the first six weeks to two months, and we'd have been cool with it. Living there, living there, no problem.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Every day.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I don't care. I don't care. As soon as she left the house, I knew that we were gonna kill the baby. So stay as long as you want.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah. As long as mom's there, the baby's alive.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Denisha, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hello?

[Mary (Caller)]

Hello?

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Hello.

[Mary (Caller)]

So I had.

[Female Caller or Participant]

I've heard this saying that friends, family,

and fish are only good for four

days, and after that, they gotta go.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Friends, family, and fish.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

What the fish do?

[Female Caller or Participant]

Things start getting really bad after four days.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Fish poops in its own water. That's what a fish does.

I don't think she's referring to goldfish.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Like the fish you eat.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Like if you put it in your

[Male Co-host or Caller]

fridge, I mean, the fish in the bowl.

They all start to stink after four days.

Yeah. I agree with the friends, I don't know. But the family, for sure. Especially if you're all together in the same house. Is three for us.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

It's all three.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Really, for you.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Two family, four days for you in your own house.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Hosting them. Yeah.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Yeah.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

It's about the. That's about the expiration, really. Now I always feel like. And it. It always seemed this way to me, like whoever's family was coming to visit is. It's always the questions of the. Hey, where do you keep the fill in the blank here? Do you mind if I go and find the fill in the blank there? Where do you put your blah, blah, blah? Why don't you guys do this over? It's. It was. The question was like, okay, just. Somebody just relax. Stop asking me.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Stop looking for stuff.

My family will rearrange it on their own. Without you asking.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Without asking. Silverware is to the left of the stove.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

I told you that. Four straight days. Hey, Brooke. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Hey, I was calling because I have

had the exact problem y' all are talking about with my mother in law.

She came when we had our first

child and was gonna leave after two weeks.

And it turned into six weeks.

And my husband finally had to tell her, you know, why don't you go home and spend some time with dad.

He needs you. And then I just had to have surgery, a hysterectomy, and couldn't even ask

for help because I was afraid she

would stay too long.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

She's like, I'd rather deal with it on my own.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

See, I would have taken advantage of. Of her being there and had the operations at that time because she's gonna be there, she's gonna help out hand and foot.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Get your food, you get your medicine,

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

you're gonna be here.

[Toyota Dealer Announcement]

You gotta work.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

That's not even your mom. Your mother in law.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Hey, Amber, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Good morning. I had a good family overstaying their welcome story. We, my dad and three baby brothers came down from New York to visit this past summer and looking for fun, affordable things to do with three little kids. We went roller skating where dad fell and broke his leg.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Oh no.

[Female Caller or Participant]

And they were in my little two bedroom, one bath condo for five weeks.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Oh my God.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

And initially they were supposed to be there for how long?

[Female Caller or Participant]

Like 10 days.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

Oh, wow. Five weeks.

[Female Caller or Participant]

Where we had all sorts of activities planned and things to do and five weeks of basically it was like being single and happy and then marrying an invalid in his 3 eating mach.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Those walls just get smaller and smaller.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Yes.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

Get it.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

The bird show. Booking a verbo vacation rental means you get verbo Care and 247 Life Support. Verified reviews from real guests and top rated homes with the love by guest filter.

[Male Co-host or Caller]

I just booked my verbo cuz there

[Female Co-host or Caller]

was a sweet wine fridge.

[Show Host (possibly Birch Show host)]

We all have our reasons. If you know you verbo terms apply. See verbo.com trust for details.

[Female Co-host or Caller]

Discover top rated stays loved by guests. Rated highest by real guests. Through authentic reviews. VRBO book a vacation rental loved by guests.

[Toyota Dealer Announcement]

With the American Express platinum card, I can unlock experiences like no other. Since I'm always booking my next trip. I love that I can earn points on travel. Plus I get a resi benefit. So you know, I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about and you can find out your welcome offer after you apply, which could be as high as 175,000 points for experiences like no other. There's nothing like platinum. Learn [e-mail] Explore Platinum Terms apply.