Full Show PT 2: Friday, May 29 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Friday, May 29 [Vault]

Date: May 29, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Jen, Melissa, Jeff, plus guests/callers

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Episode Overview

This episode continues The Bert Show's trademark blend of humor, relatable life moments, and lively debates. The cast shares candid conversations on parenting in public, dating and gift-giving dilemmas, superstitions, and the infamous Atlanta Claremont Hotel/Lounge. There are memorable listener calls, behind-the-scenes show banter, and a heartfelt (and comedic) “A Charlie Brown Christmas” monologue reading.
Note: Ads and non-content segments are omitted from this summary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Taco Bell, Parenting, and Germaphobia

[01:24–07:13]

• Fast Food Nostalgia:
  The hosts swap stories about Taco Bell as a nostalgic fast food “alma mater,” poking fun at one another’s eating habits and preferences.

  • “It's almost like homecoming, you know, it really is.” — Bert [01:38]
  • “Every year he's allowed 2/3 of a soft taco no cheese.” — Jeff [02:10]

• Germaphobia and Parenting Judgment:
  Bert recalls seeing a mother set her diapered baby on a fast food counter, prompting a humorous and slightly anxious debate about germs, parenting etiquette, and others’ reactions:

  • “There's only a couple of small layers between infant ass and my food…seemed a little out of place.” — Bert [02:32]
  • “I'm less concerned about the penny infection going into the butt as I was the butt infection going into my mouth.” — Bert [03:36]
  • Callers chime in, sharing awkward or confrontational experiences around similar incidents.
  • Melissa and Jen debate whether drive-thru is preferable if hands are full, while Jeff sarcastically muses about “shoving your kid in the garbage can” as an alternative. [04:32]

• Parenting in Public—Judgment & Empathy:
  Multiple hosts and callers reflect on the tension between empathy for overwhelmed parents and the discomfort of others in public spaces.

  • “There are some parents that feel like as soon as you have kids, the rest of the world needs to cater to you…” — Bert [04:00]
  • “If you seriously cannot…have enough hands—go through the drive-thru.” — Melissa [06:04]

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2. Dating Advice from a “Wing Girl”

[07:13–11:44]

• Introducing the Win Girl Method:
  Caller Marnie describes her approach as a “wing woman”—helping men understand women from a woman’s perspective and offering honest feedback in real-life dating scenarios.

  • “I'm inside of a woman's head, so I know what goes on…I’m actually able to express it in a way men can understand.” — Marnie [07:59]

• Biggest Dating Mistake Men Make:
  The group explores why confident and successful men get flustered by attractive women.

  • “They start putting a woman…way above themselves, way too quickly…he becomes a blubbering moron when an attractive woman comes around.” — Marnie [08:27]
  • Bert recounts an anecdote: a man levels the playing field with a beautiful woman by telling her “beauty is common [but] it's really about what you're like on the inside,” breaking the ice. [08:55–09:38]

• “Good Guy vs. Bad Guy” Debate:
  Jen and Wendy discuss their patterns of dating “bad guys” and whether men should try to be more of a “bad guy” for success.

  • “Why would you ever want to become more of a bad guy? I don't think there’s any woman who…says, ‘I can't wait to meet him.’” — Marnie [10:20]
  • Call drops amid some chaos and jokes about the “wing woman” service. The hosts rib each other over bad interviews. [10:35–11:12]

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3. Holiday Gift Dilemmas in Relationships

[14:20–24:55]

• Resetting Relationship Timelines:
  Caller Leanne seeks advice: After reuniting with an ex of one year for only four weeks, is it appropriate to give him an $800 watch she bought during the prior relationship?

  • The consensus: Treat the relationship as new—wait until a milestone or birthday to gift, unless you’ve defined the relationship.
  • “My knee jerk reaction is to reset the date…treat it like it's a four-week relationship, not that you have the year of history behind you.” — Bert [17:59]

• Risks of Lavish Early Gifts:
  Hosts discuss risks: looking desperate, being disappointed by an unequal exchange, or creating confusion about status.

  • “If you're weighing the two, you could do more risk by giving it to him than by not giving it to him.” — Bert [18:41]
  • “If I’m that guy, I’m thinking she’s trying to buy me…I'm gonna get the watch and I'm gonna run.” — Brad (caller) [18:54]

• Superstitions about Giving Watches/Shoes:
  Superstitions surface: gifting a watch means “time is running out” in the relationship; giving shoes means “she’ll walk out.”

  • “There's an old superstition…if you give a loved one a watch, that means time is running out.” — Cindy (caller) [22:38]
  • “If you give him the watch, also give him a pair of shoes so that once time runs out, he can walk back into your life.” — Jeff [24:15]

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4. Restless Genital Syndrome – Candid Medical Talk

[27:24–35:59]

• Medical Curiosity—Restless/Persistent Sexual Arousal:
  The crew reads a wild news story about a woman who, after a car accident, developed “restless genital syndrome,” leading to constant arousal and strain on her marriage.

  • “She can't go anywhere or do anything without being aroused or getting the big old O.” — Bert [27:49]
  • Melissa recalls a similar story covered in the past, reinforcing the show's long-running curiosity—and empathy—toward outrageous but real medical issues. [29:10]

• Listener’s Candid Family Story:
  A male caller shares that his mother, due to a medication side effect, experienced uncontrollable orgasms, sparking both support and incredulous laughter.

  • “My mother…had multiple big O’s, as you call them, like within maybe five minutes of each other.” — Caller [32:21]
  • “Do you ever…give her a Christmas kiss? ‘Oh, don’t have an orgasm, I’m just giving you a present here mom…’” — Jeff [33:29]

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5. Atlanta Institution: Claremont Hotel/Lounge Closing

[29:40–36:31]

• The show pays humorous tribute to the notorious Claremont Motor Hotel and Lounge—a legendary (and seedy) Atlanta fixture for decades—closing after health inspector intervention.
  • “The AJC says it’s baby boomer strip dancers…” — Bert [30:34]
  • “They say it was where strippers go to die…” — Melissa [30:41]
  • Nostalgic tales include “Blondie,” famous for crushing beer cans with her breasts, and stories of the hotel’s squalid conditions (bedbugs, dirty linen, $185 per week rent).
  • A heartfelt if-dry call from a woman whose brother lived at the Claremont due to struggles with alcoholism, shining a light on the human side behind the infamous locale. [34:53–36:31]

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6. Christmas Monologue: “A Charlie Brown Christmas”

[39:31–44:23]

• Segment Setup:
  Each cast member is tackling a holiday movie monologue; it’s Jen’s turn, and she boldly chooses the “Linus” speech from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”
  • The cast drama-queens the difficulty, turning it into a running joke: “That’s just bold. I mean, it’s sort of… like the American Idolist trying to sing a Whitney [Houston] Bodyguard song…” — Bert [40:06]
  • Jen’s performance is met with applause—“She did it, everybody. She did it!” — Bert [43:51]
  • The show teases continued camaraderie and banter: “Good job. I’m gonna bring a blue blanket to you.” — Melissa [45:09]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Parenting in Public:
  “There are some parents that feel like as soon as you have kids, the rest of the world needs to cater to you in every way, shape and form, and putting your kid’s butt on the counter where food is being exchanged… still, man, there’s a drive through.” — Bert [04:00]

• On Dating Confidence:
  “The most confident man, most successful man, intelligent man, will lose his confidence completely as soon as an attractive woman walks into the room and suddenly elevate this woman to a higher level of respect than himself.” — Marnie [08:27]

• On Gift-Giving Risks:
  “My knee jerk reaction is to reset the date on your relationship. So if you’re only seeing them for four weeks, then treat it like it’s a four week relationship, not that you have the year of history behind you.” — Bert [17:59]

• Superstition Comedy:
  “There’s an old superstition that says if you give a loved one a watch, that means time is running out.” — Cindy [22:44]
  “If you give him the watch, also give him a pair of shoes so that once time runs out, he can walk back into your life.” — Jeff [24:15]

• Claremont Lounge Legacy:
  “The AJC says it’s baby boomer strip dancers… It was dirty and it was almost a parody…but it was awesome.” — Bert & Melissa [30:34–30:49]

• Christmas Monologue:
  “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” — Jen (as Linus) [43:00]

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Segment Timestamps (Approximated)

• [01:24–07:13]: Fast food, parenting, and germaphobia
• [07:13–11:44]: Dating, “wing woman,” and relationship advice
• [14:20–24:55]: Gift-giving dilemma—should Leanne give her ex-boyfriend an $800 watch?
• [27:24–35:59]: Medical segment—restless genital syndrome and caller’s family story
• [29:40–36:31]: Claremont Hotel/Lounge stories
• [39:31–44:23]: “A Charlie Brown Christmas” monologue by Jen

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Tone & Show Style

• Conversational, playful, and irreverent: joking and teasing each other throughout.
• Unfiltered and authentic: not shying from awkward or taboo stories, but always keeping it light.
• Supportive and inclusive: listeners welcomed into the conversation, their stories and questions treated seriously, but with humor.

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Summary Verdict

This episode delivers classic Bert Show chemistry—balancing heartfelt advice, deeply relatable predicaments, and laugh-out-loud moments. It’s a true cross-section of morning radio at its best, welcoming listeners to escape, debate, and share in life’s ridiculousness right alongside the cast.

Transcript

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[Bird Show Host]

play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Birch show with Taco Bell yesterday.

[Melissa]

Did they honor the. Do they bow to you when you walk in your alumni?

[Bird Show Host]

It's almost like homecoming, you know, it really is.

[Jen]

Why did you.

[Bird Show Host]

Why did I go to Taco Bell?

[Jen]

Yeah,

[Bird Show Host]

why do people go to Taco Bell?

[Jen]

Well, you eat like a. Like a bird and nothing that has any fat in it.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, I mean, Taco Bell's not going to kill you. I mean, I'm not like, it's not like going to mc, you know, like getting four, you know, quarter pounders. It's like it's a burrito on a taco.

[Jeff]

Every year he's shocked. Every year allows.

[Jen]

I didn't Think that you ate fast food at all ever, Ever? Never, never.

[Bird Show Host]

Oh, yeah, I do, for sure.

[Jeff]

Every year he's allowed 2/3 of a soft taco no cheese.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And he just realized it's December and he hasn't had it yet, so.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Bird Show Host]

And it's Taco Bell. It's the alma mater, man. You gotta stop by from time to time and just make sure they're still doing things right.

[Jeff]

He pours a little Diet Coke out on the floor for his.

[Bird Show Host]

I told you guys, I'm getting to be more of a germaphobe as I get older. And tell me if this is an overreaction or not.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Bird Show Host]

You're in line at a Taco Bell or a Mickey D's or whatever fast food restaurant, right? Single mom comes in there or whatever. She just has her kids with her. She's got one in hand. She's got one, you know, literally in like, you know, she's carrying the baby on hip and the other baby in hand. So she's making her transaction at Taco Bell and shouldn't have hands for everything that's going on. And I guess the baby can't really stand up by herself yet. So she places baby on counter at Taco Bell. No, now this is still a diaper wearing baby. Now it still has pants on and all. But just the fact that there's only a couple of small layers between infant ass and my food seemed a little out of place.

[Jeff]

Yes.

[Jen]

And I think that she's. Yeah, she shouldn't put the whatever's on the scummy counter on her kid's butt either.

[Jeff]

It was Taco Bell. The counter's not scummy.

[Jen]

Well, I mean, just like with like the money and the hands and everything that's like around there. Like, I'm sure that's a very germy area to be putting on her kid. You know what I mean?

[Bird Show Host]

I was less concerned about the penny infection going into the butt as I was the butt infection going into my mouth.

[Melissa]

Counter should be clean. I mean, like, even if it was a toddler and she was putting their feet on the. I mean, to me a counter is clean.

[Bird Show Host]

The counter is the counter, right?

[Melissa]

Cause the counter is like your kitchen counter. You just don't. You don't put things on it.

[Bird Show Host]

And I'm a parent, so I get it, but still.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

What are you supposed to do though?

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, there are. I do really believe that there are some parents that feel like as soon as you have kids, the rest of the world needs to cater to you in every way, shape and form, and putting your kid's butt on the counter where food is being exchanged, even though there are wrappers and there are pants and there are diapers, still, man, there's a drive through.

[Melissa]

I mean, I hate to say it. I mean, could she go through the drive thru if she didn't have enough free hands to be able to be in the store?

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Wouldn't that have been easier on her?

[Bird Show Host]

I would think so, yeah, probably. Those two areas should never, ever, ever get anywhere near each other.

[Jeff]

Or can't you just kind of halfway shove your kid in the garbage can and use the little flip up door to hold it in place while you conduct your transaction?

[Bird Show Host]

Duh.

[Melissa]

Well, that goes without saying.

[Bird Show Host]

Morning, Burt. Chaos.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Bird Show Host]

Good, how are you?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hey. I've got to tell you that that completely freaks me out. It completely freaks me out. I actually asked this lady one day, she sat her baby down and, you know, naughty. And just sitting on the counter, I'm like, oh, my God. And I was just like, you know, is that. Is that like, appropriate? And she got crazy on me. Oh, did she went off of me.

[Bird Show Host]

I'm sorry, is she saying like, where am I supposed to put my baby and stuff like that?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Pretty much. And she was like, what would you understand? You're just a lesbian. You wouldn't have a kid anyway. I was like, okay, yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

Again, I think you got to be considerate. And I know that there are certain circumstances and I've talked about places where I'm selfish as a parent. Also, like when I'm in the movie theater and I have to have my phone on vibrate and sometimes I gotta check it. And I know that bothers you guys, but if there's something going on at the house, I need to have connection with my kids that's bothering people in the movie theater. I'm sorry about that. Maybe she just feels like I got nowhere else to put my kid. Just gotta go on the counter. There's gonna be hundreds of people going through that place.

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, I think that's nasty. Yeah. Counters not for buds.

[Bird Show Host]

Save that. Hey, Candace.

[Jeff]

Good morning.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Good morning. I just have to say, where would you expect her to put the child? Especially if the child can't walk yet? I mean, I just don't see another solution. When you're trying to pull out your purse and pull out change to pay and drive through. What's that?

[Melissa]

Drive through? I mean, if you seriously cannot. You don't have enough hands. Is that What I said a few seconds ago, then go through the drive through.

[Jen]

I mean, it's possible she didn't have

[Bird Show Host]

a car, I guess so I didn't follow her out to the parking lot. So I don't know.

[Jeff]

I think what it comes down to is what we've said on the air before, and that's mothers of young children shouldn't be out and about. They should be home taking care of their kids.

[Bird Show Host]

Have their own little island.

[Jeff]

Right?

[Bird Show Host]

Never get the same air as other people.

[Jeff]

No, they can. I mean, it's like an old. You're being extreme. Like, if you're gonna have. If you're a mom and you're gonna

[Melissa]

have a kid quota for hate mail, like, is that what this is all about?

[Jeff]

Then you have to commit to the first, you know, six months, nine months, year, being home, raising that kid. Otherwise you're a bad parent.

[Bird Show Host]

Whatever. By the way, Tracy just lost her job because she said she'd be more worried about the Taco Bell funk getting on the baby.

[Jen]

That's how I was thinking, too. Yeah, I wouldn't put my kid there because I wouldn't want that funk on my kid.

[Bird Show Host]

It's just food.

[Jen]

If I take the top, it's like,

[Bird Show Host]

I don't know, it's gonna come out of your kid' anyway. Food.

[Jeff]

And by the way, that's not funk. That's nacho cheese. And boy, is it good.

[Bird Show Host]

There is a difference. The Birch Show.

[Jeff]

Hey, Marnie.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hi.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, how are you?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

I'm good. How are you?

[Bird Show Host]

Marnie has taken a concept that we've been talking about for years now and really run with it, that if you're like going. If you're a dude and you're going to like Maxim magazine for advice that is. Is written by guys, for guys about women, you're going to the wrong source. And it's the same thing with women. Like, if you are asking other women for advice about guys, the better source is to actually go to a guy. Mm.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Yeah.

[Bird Show Host]

And Marnie is sort of doing this. It's the same concept, except it's called Win Girl Method, where she'll help you in your dating life. And in some cases, she can even observe you in like a bar or a club and tell you what you're doing right or wrong. Do I have that right?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Yeah, it's half right. It's not just in a bar, in a club, it's basically anywhere. It's like, even if you write me through an email and tell me about a situation, I'll tell you if it's right or wrong. Because at the end of the day, I'm inside of a woman's head, so I know what goes on. I know what we're attracted to. And I know, you know, compared to most women who don't know how to articulate how that feels, I'm actually able to express it in a way that men can understand.

[Jen]

What's the biggest mistake that men make most often?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

They start putting a woman that they just meet way above themselves, way too quickly. So the most confident man, most successful man, intelligent man, will lose his confidence completely as soon as an attractive woman walks into the room and suddenly elevate this woman to a higher level of respect than himself, Meaning that he becomes a blubbering moron when an attractive woman comes around. And it's horrible, it's awful. It's not attractive. And it's not attractive to him either.

[Bird Show Host]

I'll tell you that. I once heard a story of a guy that was in a room with a girl at a bar. Same situation. She comes in there and she's absolutely stunning, right? And all the other guys in the bar are just like, can't figure out what to say to her. And he approaches her and they get into this conversation. And some poet, at some point in the conversation, he says that beauty is common and anybody can be beautiful, but it's really about what you're like on the inside. And it immediately brought her down to his level that I'm taking away your greatest asset right here. All these guys right here can't handle your beauty. And I'm telling you, I am unaffected by it.

[Jen]

And did the hangout, and it worked.

[Bird Show Host]

It broke the ice.

[Jen]

Wow, that's good.

[Bird Show Host]

So maybe that's the lesson to be learned there.

[Jen]

Yeah, that's a good maneuver.

[Bird Show Host]

These two guys, Wendy here and Jen, have been struggling with the good guy bad guy issue over the last couple of days.

[Jen]

We typically date bad guys, but we're sort of seeing good guys sort of

[Ad Host]

sort of dabbling in dating with good guys.

[Jen]

Right. Hello?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hello. I'm sorry, I can't really hear you properly.

[Bird Show Host]

I'm not really sure what to do about that.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Oh, sorry about that. Okay, so what's the question you're asking whether or not you should be dating a bad boy?

[Jen]

Well, you. From your website, Bert, was just playing a little bit of your advice that you were saying that most guys will ask you. How do I become more of a bad guy?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Yeah, a lot of guys ask me how I become more of a bad guy. And I always Tell them. Why would you ever want to become more of a bad guy? I don't think that there's any woman who turns to her friends and says, you know what? I can't wait till I grow up and meet him and.

[Jeff]

Hey, Bert, I have an idea.

[Bird Show Host]

I just hung up on her.

[Jeff]

That's a good idea.

[Melissa]

Where was she?

[Bird Show Host]

I don't know.

[Jen]

Is she like, on a New York subway train or something?

[Bird Show Host]

I have no idea. She wasn't saying anything unique. She wasn't paying attention, and she just cursed on the radio.

[Jen]

Wow.

[Bird Show Host]

I just hung up on her.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Jen]

Freaked me out. You know, you gotta try different things on the show. Some are great, some are not so great.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah. And some are really, really bad.

[Jen]

The concept of a wing woman is a great idea.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, what I wanted to do is that she offers a service to where she'll take a guy under her wing. Literally.

[Jeff]

No, guys, stay away from her. She's as bright as the something that's not smart.

[Melissa]

She's bright as.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Jeff, you're in a rock.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, dude, what happened to you last night? Did you go out last night?

[Jeff]

I've got, you know, I mean, you

[Bird Show Host]

got incomplete sentences today.

[Jeff]

I was up late. I didn't get to bed till midnight. And I've decided that today is going to be two thirds sentence day, which means I'm only gonna say. I'm only gonna say the first two thirds of my thought.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, maybe Marnie had the same.

[Jen]

Maybe she knew what day it was together.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Yeah, I don't know. What?

[Jeff]

What, you guys. I thought she was a great guest. She was coherent, she made sense. I thought it was all smart.

[Bird Show Host]

You're on the Burch show.

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confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you you. That's F O r h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightlift by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi, clinical study information and restrictions.

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[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

All right.

[Bird Show Host]

This is a weird time. If you have just started dating a guy or a woman, it's a strange time as far as presents go, but they mean a lot. Because if you guys mentally aren't the same place, are not at the same place, I should say, then your present is really defining where you think the relationship is right now. You know what I'm saying?

[Melissa]

Yes, Jen.

[Bird Show Host]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jen]

Yes. For instance, or if there's a gift at all.

[Bird Show Host]

Or at all.

[Jeff]

Oh, that's gonna be a challenge.

[Jen]

Why?

[Jeff]

Wondering if there's a gift at all.

[Bird Show Host]

Well, and what if you do and he doesn't? Or vice versa? There's a. I mean, there's a lot of jogging going on here. So Leanne has a question about a guy that she's been dating for four weeks. Hey, Leanne.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hey, guys.

[Bird Show Host]

Hi.

[Melissa]

How are you?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

How you doing?

[Bird Show Host]

Good. Okay, now, you've been dating this dude for one month, right?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Yeah, I mean, we've been named for one month, but we actually. We dated before. We dated last year for about a year. So it's not like I don't really know this guy. We've dated for a year before. But last year, I got this watch for him, and it was kind of like an expensive watch. It was like $800. And so I was gonna give it to him for Christmas, but we ended up breaking up before Christmas.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

And so then I had this watch, you know, and I just. You know, I never got rid of it. I just kind of had it. Well, we started dating again this past November, like, around Thanksgiving. And so since I've had this watch all this time, and I originally bought it for him, and I know him, I'm wondering, can I give him the same watch?

[Bird Show Host]

Well, that's it. That's a. That's tricky now. And you guys dated for how long? The first time.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

The first time was about a year.

[Bird Show Host]

A year.

[Melissa]

Why did y' all break up?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

I'm sorry.

[Melissa]

Why did you break up after that year?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

You know, we were just having. We just were having problems. We just, you know, it seemed like everything we did was kind of getting on each other's nerves, and we just ended up fighting all the time. And so we were like, it's better to call it quits right now. And we didn't want to drag that into the holidays and everything. And I think the holidays actually kind of, like, sparked it, because then there was talk about visiting families, and, you know, he didn't really want to bring that into it. And so it kind of just, like, it just blew up at the holiday time.

[Melissa]

Because I think that's important. I mean, I think it's important to note that it was between the two of you, so there wasn't a third party involved. It wasn't any, you know, really dramatic scenario. It was just, you know, what?

[Bird Show Host]

Deteriorating.

[Melissa]

Deteriorating. Right.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay, so then you guys start dating again four weeks ago. And how. How serious has it gotten in that four weeks?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

It's been. I mean, it's been good. I mean, it wasn't. We're not at the point where we were Originally, like, if I, I mean, I wouldn't be buying him an $800 watch, you know, after just dating him for weeks. So I don't know if that's gonna be saying too much, but yet at the same time, because we have this history together, I'm wondering if it's okay because I've just had this. I've just had it sitting here.

[Jen]

Are you guys.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

I don't want to be seeing too much at four weeks, and I don't want him to give the wrong idea, but it's. Had it.

[Jen]

Are you guys calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend again? Are you exclusively dating?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

We're not exclusively dating, but we're like, you know, we're together. We actually haven't had, like the talk about that again. We're just kind of feeling, feeling things out and getting comfortable with each other again and just kind of testing it out right now. I mean, it's been going good.

[Bird Show Host]

My knee jerk reaction is to reset the date on your relationship. So if you're only seeing them for four weeks, then treat it like it's a four week relationship, not that you have the year of history behind you. Totally agree. You guys agree with that?

[Melissa]

Absolutely.

[Jen]

Genuinely. Especially because it's not at boyfriend set. If she had said, yeah, we're boyfriend and girlfriend, I would say give him the watch. But because you haven't had that talk again and you're not using those labels, like, he's not introducing you like, oh, yeah, this is my girlfriend. So and so then I think it's too much. When's his birthday?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

He is. Birthday's in the summer.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

You could just kind of hold out

[Melissa]

on the wall if y' all are still dating, then, then give him the watch then.

[Bird Show Host]

Like to me, if you're, if you're weighing the two, you could do more risk by giving it to him than by not giving it to him.

[Jen]

Right.

[Bird Show Host]

You know what I'm saying? Here's Brad. Good morning, Brad. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Hey, guys. Bad idea. Oh, again. I hate the show. But. If I'm that guy, I'm thinking she's trying to buy me. If we only been dates for four months. I'm gonna get the watch and I'm gonna run. So I don't think it's a good idea just, you know, looking at it as a guy.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

So you're not gonna, you're not gonna return the watch to her? You're gonna take the watch?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

You better believe it. I'm gonna show it off.

[Melissa]

I love him.

[Bird Show Host]

All right. Brad says bad idea. Here's TC. TC. TC's back. What's going on, dude?

[Melissa]

Hey.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

How's it going, people?

[Bird Show Host]

Good, man.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Happy holidays, everybody.

[Melissa]

Happy holidays.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

You know, my initial reaction was not to give him a watch, you know, just based on it just being four weeks. But they have a history together, and, you know, it is a watch, and she's had it for so long. I think she needs to take a look at how valuable her relationship with is with him, and, you know, how far that relationship is going to go before she actually makes the decision to give it to him.

[Ad Host]

My only fear is that she's going to give him an $800 watch, and she is going to be so disappointed

[Jen]

in what he gets her, if he gets her anything at all.

[Ad Host]

$800 is saying a lot in a relationship is this.

[Bird Show Host]

I know this is going to sound superficial, and this is so not what Christmas is all about, but in a case like this, do you go into the gift giving session with two gifts? Cause he's not exactly sure what you're getting him either. So if he gets you something way over the top, you've got the $800 watch, but if he doesn't, you've got something else.

[Jen]

Leave it in your purse.

[Jeff]

I did that before where I had heard that somebody was getting me a gift, A friend was getting me a gift that was way over the top because I had helped them with something, and I get them, like a $25 outback gift certificate or something like that. And so I had to. I was like, crap, I can't go in. You know, so then I had to go.

[Jen]

I just got a bloomin Onion, right?

[Jeff]

So I had to go in, and I had two of them with me.

[Bird Show Host]

So you had a backup gift. And what would have happened if you would have drawn. If you would have given the present first? Cause in this negotiation, that's what did happen.

[Jeff]

And I went with the cheap one.

[Bird Show Host]

And what did you get in return?

[Jeff]

A digital camera.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Bird Show Host]

See, in any negotiation, if you make the offer first, you lose. You lost.

[Jeff]

Yeah, well aware.

[Melissa]

But she's not gonna use that watch.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

No. And I don't even think he's thinking

[Ad Host]

about what to get her.

[Jen]

And if he is, it's probably going to be a Christmas card and a

[Melissa]

gift certificate to her favorite store.

[Ad Host]

It's not anything expensive.

[Bird Show Host]

I think you got a reset. Reset on the new relationship. Hey, Serena. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Hey. I think she should give it to him later. If they last that Long. Then, you know, then, then at that point he was like, I guess, deserve to get it. But I mean, they didn't even, they didn't make it past the one year mark. So I don't think she should give him something that she was, you know, he earned over a year after they've been together for almost a month.

[Bird Show Host]

I agree. Way less risky if you just hold on to it until the summertime. And if he does get you something way over the top and you give him something not so over the top, now you've got a definition of where this relationship is in his mind also.

[Melissa]

Yeah, Yeah. I just think you need to put the watch back in its storage place and save it for, like Jen said, his birthday because I don't think you're going to need it. And I think that's an expensive gift even for a one year relationship. But, you know, I. Yeah, I think that's way too much.

[Bird Show Host]

Cindy, good morning. You have some advice?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Good morning.

[Bird Show Host]

Hi. So you have Leanne here, who's been dating a guy for four weeks, but she previously dated him for a year, they broke up for a year, they've been dating for four weeks, and she's got this $800 watch that she's planning on giving them. Good idea or is that a bad idea?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

I've always grown up that it was a bad idea to give a significant other a watch.

[Bird Show Host]

Why?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

There's an old superstition that says if you give a loved one a watch, that means time is running out.

[Jen]

I've heard of the shoes one. If you give a woman shoes, she'll walk out of your life. What?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Really?

[Bird Show Host]

Never heard of this? Yeah, there's a whole bunch of people now calling saying it's just a bad idea to give a watch, period.

[Jen]

That's funny.

[Melissa]

That is funny. I've never, I've never heard that before.

[Bird Show Host]

Never had any idea. Hey, Alex.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Hey, good morning.

[Bird Show Host]

What's happening?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Yeah, no, do not give the watch. You don't need that complication going into the holidays.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, what kind of complication?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Well, you know, just the discussion that you guys are having right now, she's going to be having mentally and just leave the watch out and see whether the relationship goes.

[Bird Show Host]

That's pretty much the majority of the advice right there, Leanne.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

All right, I guess, I guess we'll just hold on, I guess another several months. It's almost like it's burning a hole in my pocket.

[Bird Show Host]

Right. I can't believe you kept it this long, to be honest with you.

[Melissa]

I mean, is It a reflection of you wanting to jump right back into where you were before. And you just realized that you can't?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

No, I guess it was just, you know, I held onto it because I had, you know, I specifically bought it for him. And it was just always kind of, you know, I maybe I hoped we were getting back together, but I didn't want to. You know, I didn't want to sell it or get rid of it. I mean, and who's even to say I'd even get what it was worth if I sold it? So I just kind of. I just kind of kept on to it. And then when we got back together, I thought, well, you know, what's the harm in just giving it to him?

[Jeff]

What I heard was, if you give him the watch, also give him a pair of shoes so that once time runs out, he can walk back into your life.

[Jen]

Whoa, that's deep, man. Deep. I think that you should get it resized for yourself and just wear it.

[Bird Show Host]

But what if she's still dating the dude in the summer and wants to give it to him?

[Jen]

Then you can buy them a different watch.

[Jeff]

That's like suicide. Cause then her time's running out. You can't give a watch as a gift. You can't get a watch from someone, nor can you buy a watch for yourself. Those are. That's the superstition.

[Ad Host]

I'm so confused.

[Jeff]

The only way you can successfully obtain a watch is to find one on the street.

[Bird Show Host]

Leanne, thank you for calling. I think, and I'm sure you're never gonna do that again, but I appreciate you calling.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Thanks so much, guys.

[Bird Show Host]

The Bird Show.

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[Bird Show Host]

to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Listen, it's the Bird Show. It's a bummer. I'm so disorganized. I had two post 830 stories to tell you guys to run by you guys this morning and I can't find one of them and also I'll just have to find it for tomorrow. But it has to do with restless genital syndrome.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Oh no.

[Bird Show Host]

Or persistent sexual arousal. It's a woman that got into a car accident and for whatever reason or she, she hit her. Her pelvis got sort of mangled in this accident in just the right place to where it struck some kind of nerve and she can't Go anywhere or do anything with being aroused or getting the big old o. I mean, so you're talking about, like, when she puts on pants. If there's anything touching that area.

[Jeff]

I would like to. I would like to.

[Bird Show Host]

Just for all day and all night long, she's insatiable.

[Jeff]

For the benefit of the people who are listening on the radio and can't see, but Jen Hobby is stabbing herself in the pelvis right now, attempting to recreate the scene.

[Bird Show Host]

Melissa, you read that story yesterday, too, right?

[Melissa]

Yeah. And we've talked to. Either we've talked to somebody or we covered a story about this in the past on the show as well, where there was a woman that claimed that she had an orgasm every. I don't know, it was very short spurts in between. And then she. Sorry, I didn't mean that. But you know what I'm saying? And so the same thing. And so, I mean, obviously it has a name. Restless. What is it? Restless.

[Bird Show Host]

Restless. Genital syndrome. That's not my name. That's the given medical term for it.

[Melissa]

And I remember this woman in the news that had this before said, you know, that despite all the jokes, that it was such a burden on her life.

[Bird Show Host]

She says it's terrible. Like it's ruining her marriage because she's insatiable. Like, her husband is trying to keep up and he absolutely can't. I mean, she can't walk. She can't be in the car. Anytime she feels a bump in the car, goes over a pothole.

[Melissa]

Car's all flat. Dude, you're having an orgasm on the couch. Because I'm a pothole, they call you a wrecker.

[Bird Show Host]

And the second story is, sadly, the Claremont Hotel is shutting down.

[Jen]

Oh, no.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Did I do that?

[Jeff]

Your hotel's all dirty and ch.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, the. The health inspector, believe it or not, went by this place and. And they found a lot of violations. I know that's really, really hard to believe.

[Melissa]

Shocking.

[Jeff]

The hard to believe part about it is that the health inspector just now went by.

[Melissa]

The shocking part is people were living there. I just. I thought that hotel was abandoned. I thought the. Is the only active place.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, it's actually the Claremont Motor Hotel that is being abandoned now. And if you're new to Atlanta, the Clermont Lounge is. I mean, it's a tradition in Atlanta.

[Melissa]

You have to go at least once. Because once. It's pretty much all you can take now.

[Bird Show Host]

Exactly. I mean, in a.

[Melissa]

In a respectful way.

[Jen]

Dirtiest, grungiest basement bar.

[Melissa]

It's a strip club. The Claremont Lounge is a Strip club.

[Bird Show Host]

The AJC says it's baby boomer strip dancers.

[Jeff]

Hey, that's a bad description.

[Bird Show Host]

Really, really nice.

[Melissa]

Yeah, they say it was worse. Ripper's go to die. That's what the common phrase is. I tried to avoid that, but it was charming.

[Bird Show Host]

But it was awesome. It was dirty and it was almost a parody.

[Ad Host]

Tbr.

[Jen]

Or if you order a liquor drink, it comes in one of those teeny, tiny little solo cups. There's no glassware at this bar. It's all.

[Melissa]

You just have to go and see it.

[Bird Show Host]

It's hard to describe something. Year old woman that's crushes beer cans with her boobs.

[Melissa]

Blondie.

[Bird Show Host]

Blondie's notorious. And now the whole thing's going away because the hotel was just a mess. The Fulton county health inspector uncovered a laundry list of stuff. Dirty linen, old bedding, bedbug stains.

[Melissa]

I didn't know anybody was living there.

[Bird Show Host]

And all the 185 bucks a week. And the place was packed.

[Jeff]

And all the stuff that Bert is listing was found between Blondie's breasts.

[Melissa]

Oh, now, but the lounge is. Because they've said this before. They said that the. That this was being, you know, closing down everything. And it didn't.

[Bird Show Host]

So hold on a sec. Let me see here. The basement Claremont Lounge and its aging troop of strippers is unaffected by the hotel's closing. So maybe that means it is staying open. So the lounge stays open and the hotel goes away. But that's good news for you, Jeff.

[Jeff]

But then, yeah, where do you stay? Because, you know, there's nothing more fun than going to the Claremont Lounge and finding a nice Lassie and taking her up to one of the fancy rooms.

[Jen]

Yeah, I think they just do it in the bar. You don't have to go to a room.

[Bird Show Host]

Hey, Mike. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Hey, how's it going?

[Bird Show Host]

Okay, man. How are you?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Very good, Very good. Guys, love your show.

[Bird Show Host]

Thank you.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

I just wanted to comment on a. What you were talking about earlier. My mother had a medical reaction to some medication that she was taking at one time. It was for, I guess you could say a psychological medication. And it caused her to have multiple big O's, as you call them, like within maybe five minutes of each other.

[Bird Show Host]

So it wouldn't be an all day type thing. When she finally had one, she just couldn't stop, right?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

She had one. She was on the medication. And when she would take that medication, she kept feeling funny, as she called it. And it got to be so bad because she was taking the Medication for a couple of days. And after it was finally in her system. It was in her system. So they had. She had to go to the hospital and actually have a. Like a shot to stop the counteract medication to stop her from having them.

[Bird Show Host]

You know, there's going to be a whole bunch of virtual listeners emailing us today asking him what that medication was

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

probably.

[Jen]

I couldn't imagine my mother.

[Melissa]

I don't want to know about my mother's orgasms.

[Jeff]

Did she?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

I didn't either, but, you know, hey, it happens.

[Jeff]

Did she call and, like, just out of curiosity, how did you.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

About your mom?

[Jeff]

How did she tell you that? Like, how did she explain what she.

[Melissa]

You have to drive her to the hospital?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Oh, yeah, I didn't drive her to the hospital, but it was kind of funny. But she called up one day and she was talking to my wife and she was telling my wife and her. Had a pretty good, you know, conversation that day.

[Bird Show Host]

I guess they did.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

It was pretty funny. So that's how I actually found out about it. I was talking to my wife and my wife was telling me.

[Bird Show Host]

Did your mom tell your wife, like, let's just keep this between us.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

I mean, I'm pretty sure she did, but, you know, everything between me and my wife is between me and my wife life. So until now.

[Jeff]

Do you ever, like, when you're at events and stuff, like family function, do you ever kid her about that? Like, you know, like, give her a good Christmas kiss?

[Bird Show Host]

Pill mama.

[Jeff]

Oh, don't have an orgasm. I'm just giving you a Christmas present here, Mom.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

I've always wanted to slip one in her drink to see if it was.

[Bird Show Host]

Now I got crazy. Hey, Karen, Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi, Mom.

[Jeff]

Gasm.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Good morning. Hilarious. So hilarious.

[Bird Show Host]

How are you?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

I'm fine, thank you. I just want to tell you, they talk about the Claremont Lounge Hotel.

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

My brother lived there for a time, probably about seven years ago, and I would go visit him and I had to, what, go like a double glass door and show my id and they had to announce me to my brother. A lot of weird security. But when you go inside, into his room, his apartment, it was so teeny tiny. It reminded me something that you have in New York where you pay thousands of dollars for rent and it's just a teeny, tiny room.

[Bird Show Host]

Let me ask you this. Of all the rooms and apartments in Atlanta, why did he choose the Clermont Motor Hotel?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Oh, well, that was the sad story. He was an alcoholic and he had been through a couple of programs. And then after you finish, he. He had roommates before and had burnt those bridges, so to speak. And so he really had nowhere to go.

[Jeff]

Even follow up to that Bird or are you good?

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Pardon me.

[Bird Show Host]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna store that one under one question too many.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

But he ended up there, and it was pathetic. But, you know. But I did not realize there was a lounge underneath. And here it was. Here was my brother being an alcoholic, and he was trying to get, you know, clear and free of alcoholism. And I'll go visit him. And he would be south. I'm like, you haven't been outside this apartment. You'll have a car. Where are you? I did not know till I listened to the Bird show years ago. Really? And heard you talking about. I'm like, all that time now I realize where he was.

[Jeff]

What's interesting about that is it's surprising that he ever went in there sober. Like, he must have been really battling the demons, because most people don't go into the Claremont Lounge until they are

[Bird Show Host]

pretty well sauced or you go on your way quickly. But I'm with you guys. Like, I've been there a couple of different times. I really didn't know anybody actually lived there.

[Melissa]

I didn't either.

[Bird Show Host]

I've seen lights on in the place.

[Spin Quest Advertiser]

This is the Bird show.

[Weight Loss Supplement Advertiser]

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[Bird Show Host]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Birch show it is Jen hobbies shot at the Birch Show. Act off right now.

[Jen]

Yes. This is the Christmas monologues that everybody's been doing. So taking some sort of Christmas themed movie and doing the monologue with it.

[Bird Show Host]

And Jeff went first day, Melissa went yesterday, and it's Jen's turn today.

[Jen]

Yes. I was doing a little research yesterday and instead of the original one that I wanted to do, I went with a Charlie Brown Christmas.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Oh, wow.

[Melissa]

Yay.

[Bird Show Host]

Did you attack the. You didn't attack the Linus.

[Melissa]

The Linus monolog.

[Jeff]

Wow, that is a tough one.

[Melissa]

You're gonna cry.

[Bird Show Host]

Wow, that is bold, dude.

[Jeff]

Okay, you're not gonna cry because that's not best on.

[Melissa]

If she's gonna cry, we're gonna listen.

[Bird Show Host]

I don't think you're gonna cry. I just think that's like, it's a little bit like trying to sing like the American Idolist. Trying to sing like a Whitney the Bodyguard song, you know, that's like. That's just bold. I mean, it's sort of.

[Jen]

It's a. Yeah, I guess I didn't realize how. How bold it was of a choice. I thought it was cute and simple.

[Jeff]

It's not simple. Oh, boy, it's tough.

[Melissa]

Aren't we being a little overdramatic?

[Jen]

Yeah, you guys are really, really dramatic right now. She's got it.

[Bird Show Host]

You want to take another 24 and think about this?

[Melissa]

Even the best at method actors would

[Bird Show Host]

never take on

[Melissa]

yet, don't you know?

[Jeff]

Is Joanna gonna give it a try?

[Jen]

Are you gonna play the original?

[Bird Show Host]

Yeah, of course. Okay. All right. And here's the original. Everybody knows this one.

[Melissa]

I guess I'm gonna go cry.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

[Joanna]

True Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Lights, please. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them. The glory of the Lord shone round about them. And they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a saviour which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find them, Abe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest an unearthed peace, good will toward men. That's what Christmas is all about. Charlie Brown.

[Bird Show Host]

Linus.

[Melissa]

But you have to have the lisped with it.

[Jeff]

You're out of your freaking mind.

[Bird Show Host]

You sure you want to do this?

[Jen]

I can't believe that it's freaking out now.

[Ad Host]

I'm just reading.

[Melissa]

So you. So you.

[Bird Show Host]

No, you're not.

[Melissa]

You need somebody to do the Charlie Brown lawn.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jeff]

I can't believe you're going, Linus. But go for it.

[Jen]

Even with the lisp. I'm gonna try to do it a little bit.

[Melissa]

Okay, so I'll do the Charlie Brown line.

[Bird Show Host]

She's going in, people.

[Jeff]

Hey, Wendy, will you run and grab her a glass of water? She needs it when she gets up.

[Melissa]

Why?

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Go ahead.

[Jen]

What's wrong?

[Bird Show Host]

This is probably gonna be. It's gonna take more out. It's gonna probably take more out of you than.

[Melissa]

You're probably her out. Good Lord.

[Jeff]

Hey, Wendy.

[Jen]

Give her a couple pills I'll speed through it.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

All right.

[Bird Show Host]

We.

[Melissa]

That's what crystal oligarch.

[Jen]

Brown

[Melissa]

it after you.

[Bird Show Host]

Wendy took a few healthy trips this morning. She's pagan.

[Jeff]

She's pagan.

[Melissa]

Hummingbird.

[Bird Show Host]

Okay.

[Jen]

All right.

[Bird Show Host]

We need complete silence for this, man.

[Jen]

Y' all are freaking out.

[Jeff]

Good luck. Good luck.

[Melissa]

Got ready.

[Jen]

Got it.

[Melissa]

Ready. Doesn't anybody know what Christmas is all about?

[Jen]

Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Lights, please. And there were in the same country, shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them. And the glory of the Lord shone round about them. And they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of heavenly hosts praising God and saying, glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace and goodwill towards men. That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. Yay.

[Bird Show Host]

She did lie to us, everybody. She did it.

[Melissa]

She did it. Sorry, it's after 8:30.

[Bird Show Host]

I was actually gonna. I was actually. I had the thought of having Hayden try to do it.

[Jen]

Aw, cute.

[Bird Show Host]

And then I thought, it's too tough an assignment. So good for you for tackling it, man.

[Jeff]

Plus, isn't Hayden going through that phase where he doesn't believe in Jesus?

[Bird Show Host]

No. Are you? Plus, Hayden's voice is really, really deep now. It's like a 35 year old man. So we can do it.

[Jeff]

Chain smoking.

[Bird Show Host]

You did great.

[Melissa]

Good job.

[Bird Show Host]

Good job.

[Caller or Guest (Marnie, Serena, Cindy, Karen, etc.)]

Don't we need to get Joanna in

[Bird Show Host]

here to try it? I don't.

[Melissa]

You know, Joanna's like, I am done. Like, yes, I'm so.

[Bird Show Host]

This is too big for her, I think. Gentex.

[Jeff]

We became tired of her yesterday.

[Jen]

Aw.

[Jeff]

And plus, today's the last day of our internship, so there's no reason to make her do that.

[Melissa]

What?

[Ad Host]

No.

[Jen]

Joanna.

[Bird Show Host]

Joanna. Not Michelle.

[Melissa]

Don't you do it. Don't you do it.

[Jeff]

Joanna's the shorter one. Yeah, I always confuse my Mexicans.

[Bird Show Host]

What?

[Melissa]

That's Jeff 8 Mal Quota.

[Bird Show Host]

I mean, just take tomorrow off, man. What? You gotta wait till Monday.

[Melissa]

Jeff's hate.

[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

No.

[Jen]

You realize those two are gonna come in here and kill you.

[Bird Show Host]

Javi. Good job.

[Melissa]

Good job. Good job. I'm gonna bring a blue blanket to you.

[Jen]

Okay?

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[Bird Show Host]

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[Jen]

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[Caller (Brad, TC, Alex, Mike, etc.)]

Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer. Unbelievable. Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana, give it a whirl. Love ya.

[Jen]

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