The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, February 16, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is filled with lively banter, audience calls, and authentic, humorous discussions. The main themes explored are Atlanta's best makeout locations (helping a newcomer feel welcome), the drama around Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) and Madonna, and the age-old question: what do men really think on dates (as inspired by a Cosmo article)? The show features regular hosts Bert, Chris, Emily, and frequent participation from their audience, mixing humor with real-life stories and insights.

Atlanta's Best Makeout Spots

Segment begins at 01:33

A listener named Raul, new to Atlanta from Honduras, asks for local recommendations for makeout spots. The team and callers respond with recommendations and amusing anecdotes.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

• Raul requests recommendations for romantic/“makeout” locations in Atlanta as he’s new to the city.
• Hosts reminisce about “classic” makeout spots from their own hometowns.
• Debate on whether such places still exist, and whether people are secretive about sharing them.

Notable Quotes & Listener Tips

• "What Raul wants to know is... he wants to find great makeout places around Atlanta." – Chris (02:30)

• "We've tried this before and we never get a whole bunch of calls on it... Maybe people just don't want to give up their secrets." – Chris (03:23)

• Suggestions from callers:

  • Starlight Drive-In Theater (03:05): Classic, but some say the area is "a little sketchy."
  • High Falls near Griffin (04:52): "You gotta really want to make out with somebody if you're gonna go from downtown to Griffin.” – Chris (05:08)
  • Roswell Road, River Overlook (05:53): "Right on the right hand side… There's a place right there on the right… overlooks the river. Real pretty. Take a bottle of wine, some cheese, whatever. Have a great time." – Caller Jason (06:33)
  • Abandoned Parking Lot across Lenox Mall (Compound/Old CompUSA) (06:56)
  • Baseball Dugout at Chastain Late at Night (07:29): "That was a cool night." – Chris recalling a high school experience (08:02)
  • Murphy Candler Park (08:27): Noted for wooded privacy and a distinct story of public intimacy.
  • SCAD Art School Parking Deck (09:46): “Great view of the city. Nobody’s ever up there.” – Caller Jonathan (09:59)

• Joke highlights:

  • "They call me the Foliage Sneaker for a reason." – Bert (09:37)
  • "If this van’s a-rocking, don’t come a-knocking!" – Bert, humorously referencing “van makeout” culture (06:48)
  • "You know, construction workers poop in your walls." – Bert (10:55)

A-Rod & Madonna Divorce Drama and Shopping Sprees

Segment begins at 12:39

Coverage of the ever-escalating Madonna/Alex Rodriguez story leads into candid conversations about divorce, prenuptial agreements, and pre-divorce spending sprees.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

• A-Rod reportedly fell hard for Madonna; his wife Cynthia is rumored to have known a divorce was imminent and spent lavishly before filing.
• Discussion about A-Rod’s net worth and the potential impact of prenuptial agreements.
• Listeners share their own or second-hand stories of “divorce spending sprees.”

Notable Quotes & Caller Stories

• "The rumor is that his wife knew she was going to be filing... so Monday she goes out on a massive shopping spree." – Chris (13:32)
• "If she signed a prenup based on a salary that was grossly different than the salary he has now, that prenuptial agreement may be null and void." – Bert (15:10)

Listener Stories:

• Mercedes Convertible as “Divorce Trophy” (16:23):

  • "She went and bought a Mercedes convertible... the divorce trophy right there." – Emily (16:40)

• Italy Luxury Shopping Post-Filing (16:49):

  • "That was called my 'I'm getting a divorce purse.'" – Caller (17:41)

• Custom Jewelry Purchase to Reduce Shared Assets (17:45):

  • "She bought a bracelet... so he got less cash, and she wears it proudly." – Bert (18:19)

• Ex-Wife Runs Up Credit Cards, Drains Accounts (19:10):

  • "The day before his ex-wife went and filed for divorce, she took his credit card and ran those up and... spent half the money in their bank account." – Priscilla (19:10)

• Generous Restaurant Tips to Keep Money from Ex (19:39):

  • "He would come in, spend like $10 every day and leave like a 2-$300 tip every day... so his wife couldn't get it." – Lena (19:39)

• "Either way, he's losing the money, but he'd rather give it to a complete stranger than give it to the ex. That's funny." – Chris (20:13)

Do Cosmo’s “What Guys Ask Themselves” Questions Hold Up?

Segment begins at 20:22

Emily reads aloud from a Cosmopolitan magazine list of questions “every guy asks himself” on dates and in relationships. The guys (host and callers) honestly respond.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

• The authenticity and accuracy of articles claiming to reveal “what men think,” with a healthy dose of skepticism.
• The difference in what guys claim to consider on first dates vs. when getting serious.
• Real conversations about dating motives, attraction, and relationship priorities.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Exchanges

First-Date Questions

• "What's she like in bed? And if I don't get laid tonight, will this end early enough for me to meet up with my friends?" – Emily reciting from Cosmo (22:05)
  • Response: "Yes, that is true." – Chris (22:05)
• "Is that a super ultra Wonderbra, or are her breasts that incredible?" – Emily (22:57)
  • Response: "Wouldn't I like to know?" – Caller/Listener (23:03)

Before Getting Serious

• "Am I really willing to give up on other potentials for her?" – Emily (25:20)
  • "Once you're taking yourself off the market, that's It... There's nothing else you can do about it until it's over." – Caller/Listener (25:20)
• "Would I be proud to introduce her to my folks?" – Emily (25:57)
  • "I brought a woman home one day with tattoos all up and down her arms, and not a good sign for mama." – Caller/Listener (26:06)
• "For me, it was all about sex." – Chris, reflecting on first-date mindset (26:42)

On Relationship “Quirks”

• "Will I think her charming quirks are actually annoying pathology in six months?" – Emily (27:54)
  • "If you're asking yourself that, you already answered the question." – Caller/Listener (28:03)

Summary of Insights

• The guys confirm most Cosmo questions are in the ballpark but note context (serious relationship vs. casual dating) is important.
• There's consensus: On the first date, attraction and sex are top-of-mind, but consideration for compatibility comes as things get serious.
• The discussion is playful, honest, with self-deprecating humor about their past priorities ("am I gonna see the boobs?" – Bert, 26:49).

Memorable Moments & Running Jokes

• Bert’s repeated “your game is way on, baby” (08:19, 09:33) after stories of sexual or romantic success.
• Chris describing a memorable high school “50 yard line” experience complete with a cooler of watermelon shots (07:52–08:02).
• Ongoing jokes about construction workers leaving “surprises” in new homes (10:55).
• Friendly teasing about Atlanta’s makeout locations, and playful skepticism regarding Cosmo’s portrayal of male minds.

Segment Timestamps

• 01:33 – Raul asks about Atlanta’s makeout spots
• 03:05 – Starlight Drive-In recommendation
• 05:53 – Roswell Road riverside overlook call
• 07:29 – Chastain dugout story
• 08:27 – Murphy Candler Park memory
• 09:46 – SCAD parking deck suggestion
• 12:39 – A-Rod/Madonna, divorce and spending sprees begin
• 15:10 – Bert explains possible prenup invalidity
• 16:23–20:13 – Multiple “divorce spree” stories from listeners
• 20:22 – Cosmo dating questions discussion begins
• 22:05–28:09 – Callers and hosts debate authenticity of “what guys think” articles

Conclusion

The Bert Show delivers laughs, relatable relationship commentary, and a sense of community among listeners. The episode is a prime example of the show’s strengths: crowdsourcing local knowledge (makeout spots), candid reflection on pop culture events (celebrity divorces), and poking fun at gender stereotypes (the Cosmo quiz). If you missed the show, this summary brings you right into the heart of their hilarious, honest morning.