The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Monday, January 12 [Vault]

Air Date: January 12, 2026
Host: The Bert Show Cast (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)

Main Theme:

Trust, Relationships, and Real-Life Drama—With Laughs Along the Way

This Bert Show episode focuses on candid, entertaining, and sometimes dramatic stories around the theme of trust in relationships. From TV-inspired tales of trailing suspicious partners to listener confessions about getting hopelessly lost and confronting romantic betrayal, the hosts maintain an authentic, playful, and supportive tone. The cast takes calls on trust issues, shares personal anecdotes, and even helps listeners catch cheaters—live on air—with compassion, humor, and a focus on realness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Trailing Your Partner" Dilemma (01:00–16:13)

Background: Inspired by a "Desperate Housewives" storyline, Bert poses a question: Have listeners ever literally followed a partner to confirm suspicions of cheating? They look for real-life stories—not just TV drama.

a. Setting the Stage (01:00–02:46)

• Kristin (C) explains the soap-operaesque scenario where Teri Hatcher’s character tails her lover out of distrust.
• Bert (B) and Kristin encourage listeners to share honest stories about having tailed (not stalked) a partner because of trust issues.

b. Jonathan's Live Tailing (03:10–15:53)

• Jonathan (caller, D) calls in, using the voice disguiser, while actively tailing his wife. He suspects her of cheating after finding a suspicious note.
  • “I'm doing it right now, as we speak.” — Jonathan (03:24)
  • History: Married 7 years, three kids, previous infidelity.
  • He describes his suspicion: “I found a note on the ground... it said, ‘I can't wait to see you. Hopefully he doesn't come home this week.’” (06:18)
  • The cast supports him, but also notes the pain and inevitable relationship damage, regardless of her fidelity.
• Bert: “The thing is, if you're tailing, it's done. Isn't the relationship over if you’ve got to tail somebody?” (10:30)

c. More Listener Tailing Tales (07:06–15:57)

• Jesse (07:17) tells about her stepdad following her mom—wildly overreacting to a man opening a door.
• Wade (08:44) recounts catching his wife with a neighbor after following her:
  • “His wife used to tell me he's a cheater… and I watched him for about 30 minutes, hugging and kissing in the booth.” (09:32–09:51)
• Veronica (10:47) exposes her husband cheating with her cousin after following him to a motel:
  • “They stayed there for like about an hour. I had a camera and ... went to my lawyer and filed for divorce.” (12:07)
• The hosts observe that once trust is broken, even a lack of evidence doesn't repair the relationship.

d. Debrief with Jonathan (12:51–15:53)

• Jonathan reveals his wife finally just took their child to school, not meeting anyone.
• Bert and Kristin reinforce the theme: Once cheating enters, trust is never fully restored, and tailing is a symptom of a larger relationship problem.

2. “World’s Most Epic Wrong Turns” — Getting Lost Stories (17:22–24:22)

a. Crash's Nine-Hour Detour (17:22–21:31)

• Crash shares a road trip mishap: a supposed five-hour drive to the Florida Gulf Coast turns into a nine-hour odyssey due to missed turns.
  • “It was just a typical scene out of a movie ... [the gas station attendant] goes, ‘Boy, you must be stupid.’” — Crash (19:26)
• Sets the bar at 186.2 miles lost.

b. Listener Lost Tales:

• Ken (21:40): Ends up 180 miles astray in Alice, Texas.
  • “Have you ever been to Alice, Texas?”—now a running joke with friends. (22:20)
• Nubia (23:14): Family ends up 6 hours off-course, dad waits all day. (24:11)
• Kathy (24:24): Dad plans to fly from Portugal to Amsterdam, ends up in Bangor, Maine instead because of a drunken mistake. (25:29)
• The cast laughs about denial and the universal "I recognize this… I think" road trip phenomenon.

3. The Cheater Bust – “Nicole & Karen”—Live! (25:40–41:19)

a. The Suspicious Phone Number (25:57–30:58)

• Karen (A, caller) finds a mysterious “Nicole” with a phone number in her boyfriend Aaron’s pocket at the dry cleaners. Hosts and Karen weigh next steps:
  • “Are we crucifying this guy because he had a woman's phone number in his pocket?” — Bert (28:25)
• The show offers to call "Nicole" on Karen’s behalf.

b. The Confrontation (31:14–41:19)

• Nicole (D, caller) picks up, surprised:
  • “I’ve been seeing a guy named Aaron for about three weeks… he’s great.” (33:00)
• Host confirms: Nicole describes Karen’s boyfriend exactly.
• While Karen’s been with Aaron nine months, Nicole thought she’d met someone new.
  • Karen: “Obvious he's telling her that he's free.” (34:10)
• The women compare notes, realize they've both been misled, and begin plotting a confrontation.

Memorable exchange:

• Nicole: “We’re just gonna burn him.” (37:41)
• Karen: “Obviously, he's a liar. So. That dog, Karen.” (38:01)
• Hosts joke possible confrontation scenarios: meeting at the Park Tavern, showing up together, and even fake pregnancies to “really get” Aaron. Ultimately, they support a public bust:
  • “Are you both in agreement that you would want to do something to get work as together as a team in order to bust this guy?” — Bert (39:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“I'm doing it right now, as we speak.”
— Jonathan (03:24), tailing his wife live on the show

“If you're tailing, it's done. Isn't the relationship over if you've got to tail somebody?”
— Bert (10:30)

“Boy, you must be stupid.”
— Florida gas station attendant to Crash, after he drove 186 miles out of the way (19:26)

“It's as if … you sense that, wait a second, I have been on this road a little too long. And it never occurred to him.”
— Kristin, on road trip denial (22:59)

“I found a note… it said: 'I can't wait to see you. Hopefully he doesn't come home this week.'”
— Jonathan on evidence of his wife's cheating (06:18)

“I had a camera and … went to my lawyer and filed for divorce.”
— Veronica, describing her motel stakeout (12:07)

“That dog, Karen.”
— Nicole, after realizing Aaron lied to both women (38:01)

“Are you both in agreement that you would want to do something to get work as together as a team in order to bust this guy?”
— Bert (39:09)

“He thought he could fool us, so let’s do whatever we can.”
— Karen (39:14)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:00–16:13 – Relationship Trust: Tailing stories, Jonathan live-tail, betrayal discussion
• 17:22–24:22 – Getting Lost Stories: Crash and listener tales of epic wrong turns
• 25:40–41:19 – Cheater Bust: Karen finds Nicole’s number, live confrontation, plotting the reveal

Summary & Takeaways

This Bert Show episode captures the spectrum of dramatic, everyday problems—from serious relationship distrust and betrayal, through relatable travel follies, to the lighter side of confronting a cheating partner live on air. With compassion and wit, the hosts invite listeners’ real stories, create space for cathartic confession, and find plenty of humor in life’s chaos. Not just a voyeuristic listen, the show ultimately underscores the importance of honesty, trust, and the value of following your intuition—even when it means trailing a car or digging up a mysterious phone number.

Listeners come away feeling both entertained and seen—reminded that, while life can get wild and messy, you’re rarely the only one whose mornings are that complicated.