The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, January 19 [Vault] (January 19, 2026)
Host: Pionaire Podcasting | Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & the Bert Show Cast

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into the messy, hilarious, and often emotionally fraught world of breakups, control, and the surprising ways people deal with heartbreak. The cast also explores the powerful bonds people have with their pets—sometimes even stronger than those with their partners. Mixing real listener calls and personal anecdotes, the team keeps things both light and deeply honest, offering a blend of laughter and truth that remains the show’s hallmark. The episode wraps with an inspiring check-in from world-traveling friend Susie, who shares jaw-dropping stories from Sicily and adventures abroad.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Breakup Power Play: Getting the Last Word

• Theme: Many people can't let go after being dumped and will even rekindle a relationship just to regain control and be the one to end it.
• Anecdote: A woman at the radio station finds herself unable to move on from a dysfunctional ex, not because she loves him, but because she wants to end the relationship on her terms.
  • [00:00] A: “She says now that she kind of feels […] she would really like to see this guy again just so she can be the one to end it.”

Listener Calls & Stories

• Isabella’s Story: Came back to an ex just to dump him, but got pregnant in the process.
  • [03:57] Isabella: “I got back together with this guy because I was really pissed off that he dumped me… So I got back together with him just to dump him, and I ended up getting pregnant and now we’re having a baby.”
• Jessica’s Story: Returned to a cheating ex just to “even the score"—cheated on him and then ended it herself.
  • [06:54] Jessica: “I was with a guy who cheated on me… I wanted to cheat on him back, and I did. So I got back with him and then did the same thing to him.”
• Sarah’s Story: Got back with her ex who had cheated—broke up with him and he immediately proposed. She declined.
  • [08:14] Sarah: "My boyfriend of two years cheated on me ... I took him back for the specific purpose of breaking up with him. [...] then he proposed [...] and I, of course, said no."
• Lee’s Story: Remarried an ex to divorce him and get a child and support.
  • [09:17] Lee: “I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them instead of them having the doctor say they… No, you did not. Yes, I did. And I got my child out of it, too.”

Panel Reflections

• Bert wonders if this is more of a “good looking person” phenomenon, tying it to ego and control.
  • [06:19] A: “The decision of ego is never the good one.”

2. Animal Love > Human Love?

Would You Choose Your Pet Over Your Partner?

• Debate: Listeners and show hosts share stories about loving their pets more than their spouses—sometimes to comical, sometimes to revealing effect.
• Prompt: “If you can honestly look at your life and say, I love my pet more than I love my spouse, call in!”

Listener Confessions

• Susan: Knows her husband loves their dog more than her; carries a photo of the dog, not the family.
  • [25:05] Susan: “...when he’s at work or…driving around in his truck, there’s a picture in his visor of him and the dog. There’s none of me and the family and the dog.”
• Jennifer: Admits to loving her cats more than her husband (who’s away so she can safely confess); even owns a magnet that says “Husband and cat missing. $100 reward for cat.”
  • [27:11] Jennifer: “...my favorite all time cat. While we had that cat, I bought this little magnet that said husband and cat missing. Hundred dollar reward for cat.”
• Beth: Would rescue her dog from a burning house before her husband.
  • [29:38] Beth: “My husband already knows. If the house was on fire, I would get my dog before I would get my [husband].”
• Stephanie: Broke up with a boyfriend who made her choose between him and her cat.
  • [30:29] Stephanie: “[He] said, it’s me or the cat. And I said, it’s the cat.”

Host Table Talk

• The team discusses their own willingness to prioritize pets over romantic relationships, the reasons behind those choices ("They're my responsibility," "They don’t talk back," "They’re real"), and the idea that pets—particularly cats—often act as relationship litmus tests.
• Bert openly admits not understanding the “cat appeal,” prompting playful ribbing from the other hosts.

Memorable Quotes

• [29:42] Beth: “She’s my best friend. She loves me all the time, regardless of whether I’ve had a bad day or whatever.”
• [28:16] B: "They're real. Their personality is just right out there, useless."

3. Suzy’s World Adventures: “From Vietnamese Rooftops to Sicilian Weddings”

Travel Update with Suzy

• Suzy, a regular friend-of-the-show segment guest, calls in—literally from a boat in the Mediterranean while attending a wedding in Sicily.
  • [11:35] Suzy: “You guys, I’m on a boat in the Mediterranean… We rented a boat. Today I’m here for my girlfriend’s wedding in Sicily. She’s marrying a Sicilian guy…”
• Painting a vivid sensory picture of Sicilian life—family, food, wine, and scenery.
  • [14:09] Suzy: “Beautiful, craggy, incredible terrain. … The tomatoes taste different. The pasta is perfect. The olive oil, it’s like, it’s just… They don’t play.”
• Differences between Italian and American weddings: Large family gatherings in the days before, loud but affectionate arguments about wine, and traditions unique to Sicily.
• Addresses American stereotypes about Italian men from her own perspective on the ground.
• Shares an incredible “small world” story: By chance, she bumps into Jeff from the Bert Show at the Coliseum in Rome.
  • [17:55] Suzy: “...all of a sudden I am like, holy moly. I didn’t say moley, but I’m on the radio now, so. Holy moly, right? I’m like, I think I know that person.… It was Jeff from the Bert show. You are kidding. In the Coliseum.”
• Discusses her next destination: taking a ferry from Sicily to Tunisia, North Africa.
  • [21:05] E: “I bought a boat ticket. So I. After the wedding, I’m gonna travel on Sicily for about a week, and then I’m gonna hop on a boat. I’m gonna be in northern Africa, you guys. I can’t believe it. I’m gonna be in Tunisia.”

Notable Quotes

• [14:58] Suzy: “I’ll tell you something, these guys know things we don’t know. They’re living a beautiful life here. I’m like, whoa.”
• [18:11] Suzy: “I screamed. I hugged him. I was like, I cannot believe this.”

Standout Moments & Quotes

• [03:57] Isabella on revenge breakups: “So I got back together with him just to dump him, and I ended up getting pregnant and now we’re having a baby.”
• [06:19] Bert: “The decision of ego is never the good one.”
• [25:05] Susan: “He wants the dog’s ashes with him [when he dies].”
• [29:38] Beth on house fires: “If the house was on fire, I would get my dog before I would get my [husband].”
• [17:55] Suzy’s Coliseum encounter: “It was Jeff from the Bert Show. You are kidding. In the Coliseum.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–06:15: Discussion about the need for control in breakups; listener calls about revenge breakups.
• 06:47–13:15: Real-life stories of returning to relationships for “closure,” cheating for revenge, and emotional fallout.
• 13:15–21:10: Suzy’s world travel update from Sicily, description of Sicilian weddings, and her wild “small world” coincidence with Jeff in Rome.
• 22:52–32:10: Pet loyalty stories: Listeners and hosts discuss choosing pets over partners and pets as relationship deal-breakers.

Tone and Style

The episode is classic Bert Show: candid, uproariously funny, and occasionally jaw-dropping. Rapid-fire banter and quick-witted exchanges create a natural, relatable rhythm. Real listener stories give the episode authenticity, and the team’s honesty—about love, pettiness, pets, and travel—strikes a chord for anyone who’s ever struggled to move on, or ever loved an animal just a little too much.

Summary Takeaways

• Breakups are as much about ego and control as about love—sometimes people rekindle a relationship just to be the one who ends it.
• Revenge in relationships rarely leads to satisfaction; acting from ego often causes more problems.
• Pet love runs deep. Listeners and hosts alike share stories showing pets are sometimes the ultimate litmus test (and occasional relationship-ender) in their love lives.
• The world can be remarkably small, as Susy’s surprise encounter with a fellow show member in Rome proves.
• Through laughter, honesty, and a little bit of wildness, The Bert Show invites listeners to find humor in heartbreak and to cherish the loyal pets (and people) who make life a little more bearable.

For more stories from Susy’s journey or to connect with the cast, visit The Bert Show at www.thebertshow.com.