Full Show PT 2: Monday, July 6 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, July 6 [Vault]

Original Air Date: July 6, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristen, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Chris, Melissa, Wendy, Jen, Matthew, Bianca, Ashley (Caller), and various listeners

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Episode Overview

This episode revolves around three main themes:

1. A deeply personal call-in segment featuring Ashley, a listener who just discovered her father may not be her biological dad.
2. A lively, philosophical debate among the cast about whether they would attend The Masters golf tournament featuring Tiger Woods, despite his controversial history.
3. A candid group discussion about modern struggles with downtime/grinding culture, the pressures of constant connectivity, and how technology impacts work-life balance and relationships.

The show, as always, is marked by open, relatable, and often funny conversation as the cast navigates real-life dilemmas and listener calls.

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1. Listener Drama: Ashley’s Family Secret

[01:01 – 14:17]

Key Discussion Points

• The Revelation:

  • Ashley, a 30-year-old listener, calls in with her voice disguised. She reveals that she just learned from her sister that the man she thought was her father isn’t biologically related to her.
    • “My mother is not the sanest person… she let it slip to my younger sister and… told me on Wednesday.” – Ashley (01:28)
  • Her mother initially denies, then confirms the secret, saying she’d planned to “take it to her deathbed.”

• Family Dynamics:

  • Multiple stepfathers; mother has had five husbands.
  • Ashley always looked different; sisters joked she was the “milkman’s baby.”
  • The family secret was corroborated by her grandmother and a stepfather.

• Emotional Conflict:

  • Ashley feels stuck—torn between wanting biological answers (especially for medical reasons) and not wanting to hurt the man who raised her.
  • She questions confronting her mom, reaching out to the biological father, or keeping the secret.

• Support & Perspectives:

  • Hosts and listeners offer empathy, recounting similar stories (e.g., Jen: “It gets easier. It truly does get easier.” [07:53]).
  • Nick, a caller, offers the adoptive/step-parent perspective:
    • “I have a child who isn’t biologically mine… It’s not gonna change the way he cares about her.” – Nick (09:54)
  • Liz, another caller, warns:
    • “When I confronted my mother, it did not go well… We haven’t talked in about two years. Be prepared for that adverse reaction.” – Liz (12:03)

• Resolution:

  • Ashley expresses that her relationship with her mother is already strained, and her greatest concern is for the father who raised her.
    • “The only person I’m worried about hurting is him…he’s raised me for 30 years...he’s my dad.” – Ashley (13:37)
  • She thanks the cast for their support amid her confusion.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I feel like I’m starring in a really bad Lifetime movie being produced by Jerry Springer.” – Ashley (06:29)
• “Whoever gives you love and support is your family.” – Melissa (10:35)
• “You’re already in too far. That would have been fine if you never knew, but now…you gotta do something with it.” – Wendy (09:38)

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2. The Masters Tickets: Would You Go if Tiger Woods Is Playing?

[15:42 – 32:35]

Key Discussion Points

• Setup:

  • Matthew has tickets to The Masters and offers them to the cast.
  • The hot debate: Would you go to see Tiger Woods, given his controversial past?

• Diverging Viewpoints:

  • Melissa: Firmly against going. Feels it’s hypocritical, since she vocally opposes supporting figures like Michael Vick or R. Kelly.
    • “I wouldn’t go. I just don’t agree with him and don’t like him.” (18:39)
    • “You’re rewarding a company that supports Tiger…” (20:07)
  • Chris: Would go, arguing that the event is about the experience, not about personally supporting Tiger.
    • “If you want a once-in-a-lifetime experience, you might as well have it on Tiger’s comeback.” (17:18)
    • “All Masters tickets are privately owned… you’re not lining his pocket.” (19:29)
  • Jen & Wendy: Would go, but with the caveat of taking or giving their ticket to a family member who is a lifelong golf fan.
    • “My dad… it goes beyond Tiger for my dad to be able to go to the Masters and experience that.” – Wendy (22:48)
  • Matthew: Tries to tempt the group by escalating the stakes—offering possible clubhouse badges and drinks with VIPs (25:07).

• Listener Calls:

  • Amanda disagrees with Melissa, saying she’d “die to be offered” tickets, and the event transcends Tiger Woods (27:33).

• The Real Offer:

  • In a twist, Matthew reveals he’s actually giving the badges/tickets for Saturday to Jen and Jeff. Everyone is shocked at the realness of the offer, not just its hypothetical nature.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “It's more. I mean, I'd be a hypocrite. I've been on air consistently criticizing the man.” – Melissa (21:03)
• “The ticket demand is gonna be unreal… This is the only year that this is gonna be this.” – Chris (24:41)
• “Golf needs Tiger Woods.” – Bert (29:26)
• “You’re not miffed at the person who signs your paycheck, no matter how frustrated you might get at them.” – Chris (29:28)
• “I want to hit the ball like Tiger Woods hits it on his very worst day." – Bert (30:39)
• Outcome: Jeff and Jen get the badges; Melissa stands by her values.

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3. The Pressure of Constant Connectivity: Can We Relax Anymore?

[32:37 – 42:53]

Key Discussion Points

• The Issue:

  • Jen and Chris spark a discussion about why downtime or relaxation feels like wasted time.
    • "In this world, downtime feels like wasted time." – Chris (33:01)
  • Wendy reflects on feeling guilty when resting, even when sick.
    • "If I'm sitting on the couch watching tv, I feel guilty... Like, I should be doing something else." – Wendy (33:01)

• The Smartphone Effect:

  • Theory: BlackBerries/iPhones have trained us to be "on" 24/7, making it difficult to disconnect.
    • "The smartphone has made us accessible 24/7. Before, we were not accessible 24/7." – Melissa (34:30)
  • Strategies discussed: leaving the phone in another room, at home, or in the car.

• Cultural Differences:

  • Bert observes:
    • "Our mentality...is we live to work. If you travel around the world, most other countries aren't like this." (36:31)
  • Siestas and reasonable work hours are cited as differences elsewhere.

• Family & Relationship Impact:

  • Distracted attention—especially via phone—can wound partners/family (“I just want you to pay attention to me… you’re trying to spend 30 minutes pretending you’re paying attention to me because it hurts my feelings worse.” – Melissa, 38:20).
  • Jessica calls in to suggest tech impacts marriages/relationships.
    • "Nobody has time for focusing on anything." – Jessica (38:39)
    • Discussion on tech enabling both infidelity and making it easier to get caught (Bert, 39:57).

• Modern Etiquette:

  • Kendall: Tech makes us think we’re all “the most important person ever,” when really, true priority should be those around us (41:21).
  • Melissa still feels it’s rude to call after 8 pm, citing old-fashioned boundaries.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Melissa’s black and white, living in a colored world.” – Bert (42:41)
• Joking banter about how ethics and boundaries are "old-fashioned" (42:39).

---

4. Spring Break Stories: Bianca’s Cancun Adventure

[42:58 – 51:31]

Key Discussion Points

• Bianca’s Return:

  • Intern Bianca is back from spring break in Cancun.
  • Describes classic party atmosphere: margaritas, endless drinking, party boat outings.

• Creepy Encounters:

  • Bianca recounts a disturbing incident: an older solo man, clearly out of place among partying young adults, is approached by party girls who naively dance and interact with him. He invites them to his hotel room—a move Bianca finds “creepy.”
    • “That’s how girls end up missing. Like, you don’t do that.” – Bianca (47:13)
    • “He was late 30s, early 40s… disguised, big glasses, hat covering his face.” – Bianca (45:26)

• Safety & Recklessness:

  • Group stresses importance of friends watching out for each other; girls shouldn't go off alone with strangers.
    • “If you’re a good friend, especially if you’re on spring break, you always make sure you know where the others are.” – Melissa (48:12)

• Spring Break Cautions:

  • Chris tells about “Spring Break Nightmares,” a TV show featuring true horror stories (mostly from Mexico).
  • Shocking tale: drug gangs targeting "smart blondes," adding to spring break urban legends about international travel dangers.

• Reflection:

  • The group notes the reckless attitude of youth, particularly young men, compared to the caution exercised in female friendships.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Girls are different. Well, I mean, still reckless, but when you’re that young, man, you don’t even process that kind of danger.” – Melissa (51:03)
• “Parents, if you got kids at spring break, don’t watch it!” – Chris (51:31)

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Notable Quotes Summary (with Timestamps)

• “I feel like I’m starring in a really bad Lifetime movie being produced by Jerry Springer.” – Ashley [06:29]
• “Whoever gives you love and support is your family.” – Melissa [10:35]
• “Golf needs Tiger Woods.” – Bert [29:26]
• "Our mentality...is we live to work." – Bert [36:31]
• “Melissa’s black and white, living in a colored world.” – Bert [42:41]
• “That’s how girls end up missing. Like, you don’t do that.” – Bianca [47:13]

---

Important Timestamps

• Ashley’s Call: 01:01 – 14:17
• The Masters Debate: 15:42 – 32:35
• Connectivity & Guilt: 32:37 – 42:53
• Cancun/Spring Break: 42:58 – 51:31

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Episode Tone and Takeaways

The episode maintains a tone of supportive honesty, humor, and authenticity, whether dealing with difficult, emotional listener stories or engaging in playful debates and group reflection. It provides practical insight into family secrets, morality vs. opportunity, and modern stressors, all delivered in an engaging, conversational format.

Transcript

[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Bert]

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[Chris]

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[Matthew]

It's the vert show, Natalie.

[Chris]

We gotta make sure the voice disguiser is set for Ashley. And set real good because. Set real good. Set real strong because she doesn't think that her dad is her birth dad or knows her dad's not, and he

[Melissa]

doesn't realize it either.

[Jen]

Mm.

[Chris]

Mm. Hey, Ashley. Welcome to the bird show.

[Ashley]

Hi.

[Chris]

How are you?

[Ashley]

I'm good.

[Chris]

When did you find out this information and how?

[Ashley]

I found out on Wednesday, actually, this past Wednesday. And it's a really long story, but my mother is not the sanest person, but apparently she let it slip to my younger sister and she happened to be angry with my mother and told me on Wednesday.

[Wendy]

Okay, Start over a little bit.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yada, yada, yada. And that's not my dad.

[Wendy]

Yeah. So how old are you?

[Ashley]

I'm 30.

[Wendy]

You're 30 years old and you have a sister?

[Ashley]

I have two sisters. I have an older sister who me and her have the same dad, same mom. My younger sister, we have same mom, different dad.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Ashley]

And it was. I've had. My mother's been married like, five times, so I have multiple stepdads and all that sort, which she sold some of my stepdads, you know, that my dad is not my dad as well. And, I mean, it's always been an ongoing joke. My sisters have always said that I'm the milkman's baby because I don't look like anybody in my family. And my dad is Hispanic and I am the palest person that you will ever see. And I have blue eyes. Nobody in my family has blue eyes. I'm just completely different.

[Melissa]

And so, you know, my brother and sister is the only blonde in my family. And so. So I, you know, my brother and sister said, you know, wouldn't give me crap because I look different, and it wasn't true.

[Chris]

How did it come up between your mom.

[Wendy]

That.

[Melissa]

As far as I know. Wait a second.

[Chris]

How did it come up between your sister and your mom?

[Ashley]

Actually, it was one of my stepfathers who told my sister. He's the one who raised my younger sister. Her dad wasn't in the picture, so he raised my sister, and he let it out one day, and she questioned him about it. And then she went to my grandmother, and my grandmother confirmed it, and then she went to my mother. And first my mother denied it, and then she came back and said that it was true, that she didn't want me to know, and that she would take it to her deathbed, that I would never find out. And it just so happened that my sister's upset with my mom about something, so she told me. Wow.

[Wendy]

Okay, wait. Let me just get this straight. Your mom's had five different husbands, but all of a sudden, she's worried about you, thinking that you had a different dad? Like, I don't understand why the secret in the first place? If she's had five different husbands and your younger sister's from a different father, why keep the big secret going?

[Ashley]

I guess at the time, she was still trying to stay with my father, which, regardless of anything, he's my dad and will always be my dad.

[Melissa]

Right, right. But I'm sorry.

[Ashley]

She, I guess, was trying to stay with him and didn't want. I don't know. And she told my sister that she went to this guy who's supposedly my biological father and told him. He said that he didn't want to have anything to do with her or me, which. My mother wouldn't know the truth if it were written out in front of her, and all she had to do was read it. So she. I mean, you can't. My sister doesn't. I haven't been able to confront my mother with it because my sister is worried about my mother getting mad at her and doesn't want to be thrown underneath the bus. So it's kind of like I'm stuck and don't know what to do. You know, I don't want to tell my dad because, you know, I know he's not gonna. It's not gonna change his love for me, but still, I don't Know how

[Melissa]

old is your little sister? She's 25. Who caused all this drama?

[Chris]

Melissa rolling her eyes.

[Wendy]

Sister.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Sister.

[Wendy]

She found out from a stepdad.

[Chris]

Now, I don't.

[Melissa]

I know, but I'm not saying that in anger. She. She didn't have to tell.

[Chris]

She didn't have to tell. But doesn't.

[Melissa]

It's so our caller's fault.

[Chris]

Yeah, Ashley, I think our caller deserves to know the truth about her real dad. It's not the younger sisters, and I'm

[Melissa]

uncomfortable with the term real dad. Her real dad is the guy that birthday. Her biological father. Because her real dad is the one that has been there for her through her years and has loved her through this.

[Chris]

Do you wish you would never find out, Ashley?

[Ashley]

I actually do, because, I mean, I'm, like, torn. I'm in a place right now, you know, I have a daughter, and I'm in a place right now where, you know, I've had a lot of medical problems. I've had 10 surgeries in the past three years. And I wonder, you know, and my mother has known all this, you know, is it something having to do with that side of the family? You know, I have no idea. And I don't know why he would keep this.

[Melissa]

Well, she doesn't know because he didn't want to have anything to. I mean, it's not as if she could get the information because it sounds like your biological father didn't want to be involved at all.

[Ashley]

Well, see, that's the thing, though, is, like I said, my mother wouldn't know the truth if it was written on a piece of paper. I don't know how much truth there is to that. I think that's her trying to shed good light on her, that the reason she did it is because he didn't want to have anything to do with me. I really feel like I'm starring in a really bad Lifetime movie being produced by Jerry Springer.

[Melissa]

There is no bad Lifetime movie. Are you silly?

[Chris]

And I don't think it would be Jerry Springer. I think it'd be Maury Povich. She's the one who does all the dad things.

[Wendy]

Fraternity,

[Chris]

believe it or not, you are not the only Bird show listener going through something like this. Hey, Sherry. Welcome to the show.

[Ashley]

Hi.

[Jen]

How is everyone this morning?

[Wendy]

Good.

[Chris]

We're good. Better than Ashley.

[Jen]

Ashley, don't feel bad, honey. You are not the only one in this world who has had difficulty determining who they are because of a lack of knowledge. Just know you are who you are. It does not matter who you came from you will get past it. It might take you a little while. It would help, I think, if you could actually, you know, meet. At least meet your real father. Turns out my dad was. He was a wonderful, wonderful man. And I did not know him. I did not know of him until I was, I don't know, 23, 24. I'm 46 now.

[Wendy]

Wow.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Jen]

It gets easier. It truly does get easier. But I understand looking in a mirror and thinking, where did the color of my eyes come from? Why is my skin tone so different from everybody else's? I was my mother's oldest, my father's youngest, and I was raised in the middle of six. That's confusing as I'll get out.

[Chris]

Well, Ashley, do you think your mom knows who your biological dad is?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I have his name.

[Melissa]

Oh, you do?

[Bianca]

Okay.

[Ashley]

And I know where he lives, which is, you know, I'm not from Georgia. I grew up in New York, but he lives. That's where my dad still lives. And this man lives about 30 minutes from where I grew up, where my dad lives right now.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Wendy]

So I really do think that you need to say something to your mom. I mean, despite your sister being mad at you and that kind of thing, I think you gotta put it out in the open.

[Ashley]

One of my stepdads did tell me that he didn't care if I told her. He was the one that told me because he said, what is she gonna do? I'm already divorced from her, so it's not like she can make my life any worse. So, I mean, I. I can do it without calling my sister out, but, I mean, I'm just. I'm confused to a point where I don't know. Number one, I still don't know how to process everything. And number two, I don't know if I want to contact this man to find out if he knew about me, because he'd go two ways. He didn't. And then he wants to be a part of my life, and then I have to tell my dad. That way he doesn't find out in some messed up way. Or the second scenario is that it was true and that he didn't want to have anything to do with me, and then I have to kind of work in that rejection as well. So I don't know.

[Wendy]

But the thing is, is you're already in too far. That would have been fine if you never knew. You know what I mean? But now I feel like you've got so much information, you gotta do something with it.

[Chris]

Here's a Perspective from the dad's point of view. Hey, Nick, welcome to the show.

[Jen]

Hey, good morning, guys. And it's a great show, but thank you. I have a child who is not biologically mind. And I've raised her basically since she's been born. And she lives with me. I'm currently divorced and I've been aware that she's not my child all along. I treated her as my own. I have other children who are biologically mine. And I think her dad, whether he is or he is not her dad, he has the right to know. And it's not gonna change the way he cares about her, you know, in any perspective.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And I think that is your child, you know?

[Bianca]

Right.

[Jen]

It exactly is that. My daughter, she is darker skin color than the rest of us. She looks different, but she's my daughter. I don't care what people say when they walk down the street.

[Melissa]

Yeah. My feeling about that is, yeah, I mean, whoever gives you love and support is your family, you know, So I, you know, but I understand the importance. I mean, I have a friend who is one of my good friends that I grew up with was adopted. The only reason he cared at all, like you mentioned earlier in the call, is maybe for, you know, medical reasons, but he's, you know, as far as he was concerned. And yeah, that his family was his adopted family. That was his family. You know what I mean? But I think that you're trying to protect your sister, you're trying to protect the stepdad, you're trying to protect your mom. This is your life and your journey and you need to know this. And I agree with Jen that you need to speak up. I don't care who gets mad because this involves you. Quit protecting everybody.

[Wendy]

Exactly.

[Chris]

Hey, we have another call we have to take on the voice disguiser. Liz, you're talking to Ashley.

[Ashley]

Hey, guys. How are you this morning?

[Chris]

Good. How are you?

[Ashley]

Fine. Hey, Ashley. I'm 38 and two years ago, I just found out that the man that I grew up believing my biological father was not. And it was during a phone call after probably a 15 year search that I made to him. And you know, he's just like, hey, something I got to tell you. I'm not your dad. So I completely understand and empathize with your feelings on wanting to know who you are because I was always so different from my other family members. Just be wary and kind of think about the relationship that you have with your mother. Only because when I confronted my mother, it did not go well. And we actually haven't talked in about two years.

[Wendy]

Oh, no.

[Ashley]

Be prepared for that adverse reaction because it was such defense mechanism, I think, for my mother because I had found out this secret that had been harbored for all these years. So just take that into consideration when you're going through all these thoughts and questions in your mind.

[Chris]

Thanks for the call.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Wendy]

Wow, that's heavy.

[Chris]

Do you have the calls or the thoughts that we've shared with you changed the direction? Did you have a direction before you called us, or were you completely.

[Ashley]

I'm completely, I guess, lost in that. You know, I'm not worried about my mother getting mad at me at this point because, you know, it's. She would not cut ties with me because she always has to be in the middle of everything, and our relationship is not good anyway. You know, I've always been closer to my dad, and the only person out of this whole thing that I'm worried about hurting is him, because I. I'm sure that I'm going to be the one that has to tell him. And I just don't want to hurt my dad. But I. I feel. I. I mean, I'm confused because, you know, I want to know who this other man is. I want to know if I have siblings. I want to know all of that. But then I know that if I pursue that, that I have to tell my dad definitely. You know, it's just. It's gonna. It's gonna hurt him. And, I mean, it's not going to change anything. I mean, he's raised me for 30 years, and he's my dad, and he's been there for everything, and I know that that's not going to change everything. You might get really mad at my mom, and that would be.

[Chris]

Seems like everybody takes a turn getting mad at your mom, so I wouldn't worry about that. We definitely keep Tracy posted as to what you do and how it goes.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Okay. And I'm sure we'll all get emails about this or, you know, people who couldn't get through or people who wanted to wait till they got to work to put their thoughts down. Or we'll forward those to you and see. Maybe. Maybe they'll help.

[Ashley]

Okay. Thank you very much.

[Chris]

Just be warned, we're notoriously 5050 on everything we do, so you'll be just as confused after you read those emails, but we'll try to help.

[Ashley]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Cool. Thanks for sharing the story with us, Ashley.

[Jen]

No problem.

[Chris]

Take care. Have a great day.

[Matthew]

Here, Burcha.

[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Bert]

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[Matthew]

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[Chris]

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[Bert]

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[Chris]

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[Matthew]

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[Chris]

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[Matthew]

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[Bert]

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[McDonald's Announcer]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six all new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The Birch Show I told you guys yesterday. What did I say? I had a philosophical.

[Chris]

That's how you put. How you explained it, that I would

[Bert]

throw a philosophically awkward question at you guys today. Right.

[Wendy]

Okay. All right.

[Bert]

It's.

[Chris]

We missed you, too.

[Bert]

What's that?

[Chris]

We missed you too Awkwardness.

[Bert]

Matthew Dwyer is in here. Matthew is the owner of Healthy Trim. Last week, when I was listening to the show and it was really in spurts, I mean, it wasn't a whole bunch. And I was on painkillers when I was listening the morning after, Tiger woods

[Melissa]

maybe had his first interview.

[Ashley]

No.

[Bert]

What one was it? Why did you guys start talking?

[Jen]

Oh, no, no.

[Bert]

It was the announcement. It was the announcement of him playing at Augusta. You guys started a debate on if you could get passes to Augusta to see Tiger woods, would you even use those passes? And you started the debate and then you stopped and at least listening for those. Those couple of seconds, it felt to me like I could see. See Melissa's eyes roll as to say that she would not take the tickets. Whereas Jeff sounded excited about it. And Jen, you seemed on the fence.

[Wendy]

Well, Jeff was asking if he should spend the money to do it.

[Chris]

Yeah, because my thought is, because this year it's Tigers comeback, you already got to buy your passes to go to Augusta national, you know, and they're already. I mean, you can't even go to a playing round for less than a grand. Right. So if you're going to go this year, those are gonna be two and three times that, which. That's a ridiculous amount of money. Right.

[Bert]

Timing. Yeah.

[Chris]

Right. So I think Melissa's argument was it's not worth it to get. Why would you spend that kind of money to see a cheater? My thing is, it's not like the money's going to him. And if you do want to have that once in a lifetime experience, you might as well have it on Tiger's comeback.

[Wendy]

And I was just being antagonistic, saying, what if he wins?

[Matthew]

Yeah.

[Wendy]

Then you would really want to be

[Bert]

there, sort of under your bragging belt.

[Chris]

No, Jen thinks it's funny if I miss three mortgage payments. That's what Jen's.

[Bert]

So it was really more the money issue. It was. If you were gonna spend money on the tickets specifically for Tiger.

[Chris]

Is this the year? Is it. Is it.

[Wendy]

Is it worth it?

[Chris]

If you're making it philosophical, is it bad to spend extra money on an event that is featuring somebody who could be morally bankrupt?

[Bert]

So if the tickets. Nat, you need to turn his mic on. Go ahead, Matthew.

[Matthew]

Well, on the street now, they're. They're the highest I heard last night because of Tigers comeback. They're going for like four grand.

[Bert]

Yeah. In the sports world, this is monumental.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I mean, this is. This is the one you want to be at. This is the one that people will be talking about for generations and generations and generations. So the question I was going to pose to you guys today is if you had Masters tickets, would you take them, which Matthew has and is willing to offer up to you guys.

[Chris]

Okay, Yeah, I take them.

[Wendy]

You do?

[Chris]

I would take them.

[Melissa]

No, I stand by what I said.

[Bert]

I will not take them.

[Melissa]

No, I will not take them.

[Bianca]

I would.

[Melissa]

Katie's screaming at me probably right now. But no, I mean, because, yeah, I, you know, because I've talked before when we talked about Michael Vick, like one of those. If I had a Michael Vick jersey at the time, all these things came out that I did not personally agree with on what he did, I would get rid of the jersey and I would not purposely go try to see a game just because of him. And if I was a golf fan, if I went to the Masters every year, if I went to tournaments here in Atlanta every year, and going to the Masters was something I consistently would do, then, sure. But if I went, it would only be because the hype around Tiger and I just don't agree with him and don't like him. So I wouldn't go.

[Chris]

Now, here's what I think the difference is, because I hear your Michael Vick argument, and I think it's similar to like your R. Kelly argument or your Chris Brown argument. If you have an issue with someone, then you don't do anything to support them.

[Melissa]

Right?

[Chris]

All Masters tickets are privately owned. If he, if, if they sell out Augusta National, Tiger doesn't get a bonus. He doesn't get more money. You're not lining his pocket.

[Melissa]

It's like the jersey. I mean, the jersey benefits the company.

[Chris]

But Michael Vick got money.

[Bert]

See, it's almost the event, too. To me, your argument says I wouldn't go to see the Eagles in the super bowl because Michael Vick is part of their team, even though the super bowl is the event itself. That is memorable, like just being at Augusta.

[Wendy]

But you know where she's coming from.

[Melissa]

I mean, come on, now.

[Wendy]

I mean, everybody benefits kind of on a technical.

[Melissa]

Everybody benefits from the hype around Tiger. So, I mean, you're rewarding a company that's supporting Tiger. You're rewarding these people that support these people that I. It's a personal decision. I mean, and everything is relative. You can't just section one thing off from the other. So, yeah, the only reason I'd be going to the Masters, because the hype around Tiger. No, thank you, Bert.

[Chris]

You've. Hold on. You've clearly given away.

[Matthew]

You've been to Augusta. Have you ever seen the grounds?

[Melissa]

No, but I could go. I could do it next year or I could have done it last year.

[Bert]

So Matthew has these amazing connections down at Augusta. He's the guy that brought me down to Augusta to play last year. And he plays down there like it's a miniature golf course up here. I mean, he just plays all. Plays all the time. And he's got a bunch of hoity toity friends that are members down there also. So if he wants tickets to Augusta, he gets them. And he heard you guys sort of debating about this the other day, and I'm like, well, let's see. You know, who'll take the bait on the air? I said. I said, when presented with those tickets, Melissa will take them.

[Melissa]

It's more. I mean, I'd be a hypocrite. I've been on air consistently criticizing the man. I've been on air consistently telling Elon.

[Chris]

But you're not benefiting him at all.

[Wendy]

I don't see how there's a very strong connection.

[Matthew]

Do you like golf at all.

[Melissa]

I'm not the biggest golf fan, I gotta be honest.

[Matthew]

Do you like a beautiful landscape with flowers blooming and probably the most unbelievable stage of landscape?

[Melissa]

You can show me that on non Masters weekend? I can go to. I can go to Augusta and check out the golf course with you.

[Matthew]

No, you can't. No, it's actually too difficult to do that.

[Melissa]

I guess I'm gonna miss it.

[Bert]

It's easier to get on Augusta during the tournament than it is outside the tournament.

[Matthew]

Yeah, well, you're only allowed. Here's the deal. You're only allowed. A member is only allowed to have three guests at one time on the premises.

[Wendy]

And you can't just go there.

[Matthew]

No, you cannot just go there.

[Wendy]

You can't just show up.

[Bert]

If you're a member, you can show up at any time.

[Matthew]

Remember, you can show up anytime.

[Wendy]

Yeah, but there's very, very few members and it's very, you know, rare to be invited by a member. I mean, it is the most exclusive experience in sports, right? It really is. I mean, maybe not for Matthew, but.

[Chris]

No, it is for the rest of the world.

[Wendy]

It definitely is.

[Matthew]

It is definitely an unbelievable, very unique and very special experience. Let's step it up a little bit for Melissa.

[Chris]

Let me give the phone number out, by the way, if you want to weigh on our. I think I can weigh in on Melissa's master debate. We are at 404-741.

[Melissa]

Q100 the entire conversation before we even move on.

[Bert]

I don't know where Jen stands on it.

[Matthew]

She said she's in.

[Chris]

Yeah, she would go, right?

[Wendy]

My dad is such a big golf fan. I would have to get the tickets and take my dad.

[Bert]

It'd be one pass, though.

[Wendy]

I would give it to my dad.

[Bert]

You would?

[Wendy]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, he's a lifelong golfer. You know, he's been to Augusta national one time, was able to play one time, and it was really like the highlight of his golf experience, of his life. And so I think, you know, my dad and I have had plenty of discussions about Tiger. I think he would scoff it off, but still at the same time, like he would be there to see everybody else in the tournament. You know what I mean? I think it would. It goes beyond Tiger for my dad to be able to go to the Masters and experience that.

[Matthew]

Here's what I think. I think that this year there will be more people to watch Tiger.

[Bert]

Oh, sure. The gallery is going to be. The gallery is going to be crazy.

[Chris]

And it's, it's going to be Everybody

[Wendy]

who do, they allow more people in for the tournament because there's only X

[Matthew]

number of people that are allowed in, period. But if you want to be crammed around a certain hole, you know, sometimes it's very, very difficult to see him. But I think that. I think he's going to come back. I think he's going to either do extremely well and win it, or he may miss the cut. Who knows? We'll see. This is the first time I really

[Wendy]

hope he doesn't win it.

[Bert]

It may be different this year in that you could get closer to him in past years, because I think they're going to be very, very careful about how close they allow people to get to Tiger woods this year.

[Chris]

But everything you're talking about is irrelevant.

[Wendy]

Okay?

[Chris]

It's just being at Augusta National.

[Matthew]

You don't have to see Tiger if

[Chris]

you don't want him back, and you're going to have there. I'm not the only. I know I'm not the only one because I've had this conversation with other people who've always had it on their radar. Oh, I live in Atlanta. I live in Georgia. You got to go to Augusta national, like Jen. It would be great to, you know, for my dad to experience it. Like, I have friends who would buy me beers and lunch for the rest of their lives, you know, type of thing. Like, everybody. It's on everybody's radar to go to it. But this year, this is the only year that this is gonna be this. So there's gonna be a.

[Bert]

It's the added bonus.

[Chris]

The ticket demand is gonna be unreal.

[Bert]

What was your. What was your addition to raising the stakes here?

[Matthew]

Well, I don't know. We could maybe. I'd have to check with a couple of friends, but I think that it's possible that I could maybe get a couple of clubhouse badges and get in the clubhouse and maybe have a drink with Bill Gates or something.

[Melissa]

That would be fantastic if I could give it to Jen's dad.

[Bert]

I mean, really, Even to go into the clubhouse?

[Melissa]

No.

[Bert]

Standing strong.

[Melissa]

I mean, like I said, if I. If I consistently made efforts to go to Augusta throughout my adult life since moving to Atlanta, not one year have I ever tried to go to Augusta. Not one year have I ever tried to connect contacts here at the station. You know, never once. And so why this time when Tiger's going to be there? No, no, thank you. I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you.

[Chris]

You guys want to take bets on how long it takes Katie Jo to move out? I'm Guessing she's already putting the boxes together and taping the bottoms.

[Melissa]

It's fortunate that one of her best friends lives in Augusta, so she's had an experience that I haven.

[Bianca]

And.

[Melissa]

And so I. Yeah.

[Chris]

Clubhouse passes.

[Melissa]

But this is for one. Right, Matthew? It's for one person. Right, Bert? So it wouldn't be for Katie Jo. It would be for me. I'm just saying.

[Bert]

No, I'm just saying I think I

[Melissa]

could work it out that you try to get me angry.

[Matthew]

I think I could work it out that you and your friend could come

[Melissa]

into the party if I gave it to Katie, if I could give it to Jen's dad, if I could give it to Wendy, who could never. I mean, if I could give it to somebody that really wants to go, but I honestly.

[Bert]

They can only go if you go.

[Melissa]

I think it is a disgrace. Listen. I think it's a disgrace to the sport of golf for people who are. Have never been able to go because they've never had the contacts, they've never had the riches. They've never had the opportunity to be able to go. And then for me, who's not a big golf fan, who's not a Tiger fan at all, to end up going to Augusta and keeping them from being able to have that opportunity.

[Matthew]

My wife's not a golf fan, but when, you know, she walked out there, she was like, oh, my gosh, this place is so beautiful. It really, really, really is.

[Chris]

Hey, I hear you.

[Matthew]

It's your beach.

[Chris]

Hey, Rosemary. Welcome to the Bird Show.

[Jen]

Hi.

[Chris]

What's going on?

[Jen]

I'm just gonna weigh in on Melissa's argument. I understand where she's coming from. She doesn't want to support Tiger because she doesn agree with, like, the moral standings of Tiger. And I'm not a big golf fan either. But I'm just saying, you could go and still support the other golf players. Like, I know there's one that has a wife that's battling cancer, so you could dress head to toe in pink

[Melissa]

to support her, which would be fine. I just know that when I get back to Atlanta, if I went to the Masters, I went to Augusta, these guys would be like, well, why did you support Tigers?

[Matthew]

She's not getting that.

[Chris]

No, you're supporting.

[Melissa]

When I come back, I will get that. So, I mean, it's.

[Matthew]

Yeah, it's right now, when I turn on my phone, when I get out of here, all my family members don't give them to. Quit trying to give them to Melissa. Give them to me.

[Chris]

Hey, Amanda, Welcome. Amanda, welcome. To the Bird Show.

[Jen]

Hello.

[Chris]

Hello.

[Jen]

I am completely against Melissa. I would die to be offered one ticket or two tickets to see it. And people were gonna sell out. The Masters were going to sell out whether Tiger was there this year or not. The only thing that's going to change is that more people are going to watch the Masters on TV than they would have if Tiger wasn't there.

[Melissa]

Now, would you die to go? Even if this was not the big event of the year? Tiger's return.

[Jen]

I would love to go. I mean, it's like I've lived in Atlanta all my life, and my parents used to go to the practice rounds, but just. I would kill the girl any day of the week, Wednesday through Sunday, just to see that course. Because the greens are like, you want to roll around in them and you want to pick the flowers off.

[Chris]

I mean, yeah, let me know how that goes.

[Bert]

The thing is, I mean, if you get to go to the tournament, you will. You will tell your friends about that for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter if Tiger was part of it or not. This is just the added bonus because the story doesn't change at all. You're always gonna brag about being at Augusta, only you'll say, I was there and I happen to be there the year that Tiger.

[Chris]

Just for the record, even if I don't go, I'm still telling people, yeah, I was there that year.

[Wendy]

I'm curious. I'm curious how Augusta and the Masters, whole franchise feels about Tiger woods, because he has put a blemish on the game of golf. I mean, this. These really pretty nasty, trashy stories have come out about him over the last six months, whatever. And this is a classy game, and this is the classiest tournament of all the games. And I've heard from a couple of people who feel like Tiger's ruining the Masters.

[Matthew]

Well, it's going to be, they say, the highest viewed viewed Masters ever.

[Chris]

And I don't doubt that.

[Wendy]

I'm just saying I wonder with the classy nature of the people running this kind of an event and running this course, if they're a little miffed at him.

[Bert]

Golf needs Tiger Woods. Yeah, they need.

[Chris]

You're not miffed at the person who signs your paycheck, no matter how frustrated you might get at them from time to time.

[Bert]

I haven't watched one stroke of golf since Tiger has been gone. Not one stroke. And the Tour knows that, that they need Tiger Woods.

[Matthew]

So do you think they would.

[Chris]

Do you think they would have, like,

[Matthew]

do you think they're just going to, like, kind of wait till the last minute to allow him on the grounds. Or do you think, like, they'd have them on and play this week or something?

[Wendy]

No, they are. I mean, Melissa already had. Who already told us.

[Ashley]

You already said it.

[Chris]

I think that ESPN interview was from Augusta.

[Wendy]

Yeah, he's already been there.

[Chris]

Yeah. So he's there.

[Bert]

Matthew knows the answer to that.

[Matthew]

Yeah, he played 36 yesterday.

[Bert]

Matthew played behind him yesterday.

[Wendy]

Wow.

[Chris]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Bert]

So he's down there practicing already.

[Jen]

That's really neat.

[Matthew]

He. He couldn't have been nicer. He was a little chilly yesterday, but. Yeah, he. He looks like he's. He must be taking the healthy plex or something. He's bulked up a little bit.

[Bert]

He's been in, like, solitary confinement for the last couple of months, so maybe all he's doing is working out.

[Matthew]

Yeah, he's. He's ripped. He. He didn't hit the ball that great on the first 18, but I never. He never lost his temper once. His short game is there and, you know, we'll see. But he played 36 yesterday. Played right behind him. It was pretty neat.

[Bert]

I want to hit the ball like Tiger woods hits it on his very worst day.

[Bianca]

Right.

[Bert]

You know?

[Chris]

Hey, Eric, you'll be our very last phone call. All right, Matthew, you can just call me Melissa.

[Jen]

I'll take the tickets and go.

[Bert]

All right. So, Jen, you said that you're in.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I would be in. To take my dad or to give the tickets to my dad.

[Bert]

Jeff.

[Wendy]

Not for me.

[Chris]

In a heartbeat.

[Bert]

And, Melissa. No, no, thanks. Thanks. No, thanks.

[Chris]

What if I gave you tickets to an R. Kelly concert as an added bonus? Chris Brown.

[Bert]

And. She took those, didn't she? She took the R. Kelly ones of mine.

[Melissa]

Whatever.

[Wendy]

Bert, I'm assuming your answer.

[Bert]

I. I would go, but I can't. I can't hobble around Augusta, and by August 8th, I won't be ready to off the crutches.

[Wendy]

Hypothetical, right?

[Bert]

Doesn't have to be.

[Matthew]

What do you mean? What's all hypothetical?

[Bert]

The tickets.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Matthew]

Tickets. You got them.

[Wendy]

No way.

[Bert]

Yes.

[Matthew]

Saturday.

[Bert]

This is a real.

[Matthew]

My family's gonna kill me because they're gonna be like, you're giving. Yes. You got them for Saturday.

[Jen]

Awesome.

[Wendy]

Really?

[Matthew]

I'm gonna give you my badges for Saturday.

[Chris]

Seriously, Like, I don't know anything about.

[Matthew]

Don't look at me.

[Wendy]

Somebody pinched me right now. Is this real? I thought we were having a hypothetical conversation.

[Bert]

Philosophical. This is real. This is a real deal.

[Matthew]

It's a Real deal. I'm gonna give up my badges for you, Jen. And for you, Jeff. Yes.

[Wendy]

And you're not going.

[Bert]

I'm not going?

[Wendy]

Hell, yeah.

[Bert]

Are you more excited that I'm not going? Because that's what it sounded like.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Chris]

The Birch Show.

[McDonald's Announcer]

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[Bert]

Refreshers contain caffeine.

[Matthew]

The Birch Show.

[Chris]

Jen and I both brought up something after the show yesterday that we're both struggling with. And then Wendy was nodding. So this might be a chronic problem that in this generation or this world that we live in, where downtime or relaxed time feels like wasted time. At least that's the way it feels for me.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I can't really relax. Like, I know. I realized it last week when I've been last week and this week while I've been sick. Like, you know, the doctor. I went to the doctor, and basically they said, just rest. Like, sit still. Just rest. Like, let your body get better. And I feel guilty about it, like, the entire time. Like, if I'm sitting on the couch watching tv, I feel guilty about it. Like, I should be doing something else. I should be at least, like, on my laptop checking and responding to emails. I should be, you know, on my BlackBerry, clearing that out or calling somebody or returning phone calls or paying bills or whatever it is, doing laundry. I mean, like, I never can really, truly just sit still and relax.

[Chris]

And I have a theory about this, and I think Burt might be the most qualified person to weigh in on this because you have kids, which would be another, like, a forced distraction. But I think the reason that we all feel that way is because of the BlackBerry or the iPhone or the smartphone that you carry. Because when it came up in the meeting, Jen brought it up first, and then I kind of seconded it and said, I'm trying to get better at it. Wendy nodded through the whole thing, but Melissa didn't really respond. Melissa is also the most disciplined about setting up her BlackBerry or whatever.

[Melissa]

My Samsung code.

[Chris]

Your Samsung code. Which get email on it, though, right? Smartphone, yeah. So she gets the email and text and all that right in the palm of her hand. But she fusses at Katie Jo about setting it up. I don't know if any of us do like, we always have it. So you.

[Melissa]

Well, Katie and I have had the conversation where we. Like, there's been one night where I said you have to leave it in the car, and there's another night where you have to leave it in the kitchen. Because I think the thing is, if you see it, you have to pick it up and have to look at it because. Because you are. Because the smartphone has made you talk about our culture. I think the smartphone has made us accessible 24. 7. And before we were not accessible 24. 7.

[Bert]

There is something about. I think Melissa nailed it because I've been doing this a lot lately. It's just keeping it in another room. Like, if Stacy and I and the kids are out to dinner, I'll leave the phone in the car now. It's so freeing. I didn't realize how chained I was to that BlackBerry until it wasn't within reach. I mean, you really get to focus on what you're doing if it's not within arm's length or you see the

[Melissa]

light going off or whatever.

[Bert]

Even if I have it off in my pocket, I always sort of know it's there. There's something mentally freeing about not being able to get to it.

[Chris]

I do that.

[Wendy]

It's beyond the phone.

[Chris]

I'm the same way. I think I have ants in the pants syndrome. I feel like I'm missing something. If I'm sitting on my couc. Like, there's something else going on that I can't get to, and I'm being lazy. By sitting on the couch and just

[Bert]

relaxing, you should be filling it with productive time.

[Wendy]

I think for me, I should be, like, cleaning my house, doing the laundry, you know, oh, there's dishes in the sink. Put those away. You know, you should. I mean, there's always, like, something else to do. Whether it's like, housework or actual work or being tied to the smartphone. I mean, I think it's like. I think it's more than just the phone. I think it's like, just this sort of stuff. State of mind.

[Chris]

I don't know if it's the phone that I think the phone is what, for me, I think the phone is what caused that. Now, I don't now, just because without the phone that you got email on, like, if I was physically away from my computer with my laptop or desktop computer, I was physically away from it, and one of y' all sent me an email and asked me a question about tomorrow's show or a date of an event or something like that. I wouldn't even know that existed. You know what I mean? So it's like bert said, It's a 247 accessibility thing.

[Bert]

I've always had this mentality, though. I think the phone has made it worse, but I think it's a mentality. And here's where I think people that travel have an advantage, because you realize as you travel around the world that most other countries aren't like this. Our mentality in our country is we live to work. That's what we do. I mean, it's make more money. It's keep up with the Joneses. It's financially be better and more settled than somebody else.

[Chris]

Get right side up in your house. Overleveraged it during the credit boom.

[Bert]

It's running and running and running and running. Whereas if you travel around the world, you realize that people work six or eight hours and they're done, their mind is clear and they get to go and enjoy life.

[Wendy]

Or they have siesta in the middle of the day where everything shuts down for like two or three hours.

[Bert]

Now, there's a reason why they're third world countries. You know, there's a payoff for everything.

[Chris]

Italy's not a third world country and they have a siesta.

[Bert]

Yeah. And they do pretty well themselves over there.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And I guess, you know, my brother and sister in law were sensitive because our dad was a workaholic. And so it's to be on the other end of the excuses or the absence or the absence of attention or the gotta get this done. I think, you know, we kind of tried to make a mental note to not do that, because it is. And when I see Katie do it, she did. She did not have the same experience growing up. And so when she is. Katie is constantly, constantly distracted all the time. And the phone. And the phone is one of the main reasons why. Because I noticed that if the phone is in the car or the phone's in the kitchen, and if she doesn't see it, she completely relaxes. She may still want to get up and do something, but it's not this. I'm completely distracted from what you're saying to me. Because the smartphone forces you to be rude to another person when it comes to conversation. If it's dishes, we can be in the kitchen talking while we're doing dishes, and we can be talking while we're doing laundry. We can talk while we're doing stuff around the house. But when she's on that phone, she's trying to do the huh, huh, huh. But her Total attention's on that email, it's on that text, it's whatever she's doing. And it's just. And for me, it just brings back memories of. I just want you to pay attention to me. I don't care if it's for 10 minutes, but don't try to spend 30 minutes pretending like you're paying attention to me because it hurts my feelings worse.

[Chris]

Hey, Jessica. Welcome to the bird show.

[Jen]

Good morning, guys. I love your show.

[Chris]

Thank you very much.

[Jen]

I was actually calling to comment on what you were just talking about. I was wondering if you guys thought that marriages aren't lasting as long as. Well, because of all of our technology now. Because before, you know, Everybody was married 20, 30 years, our grandparents and things like that. But now marriage is just not lasting as long, it seems. You know, nobody has time for focusing on anything.

[Chris]

It's not because of the BlackBerry. It's because of classmates. Dot com. That's Facebook. Yes.

[Bert]

It's a complicated answer because there really is kind of two levels to it. Yeah, we're more distracted. But also, you know, infidelity I think is made easier but also made more difficult by the computer also.

[Jen]

I was actually just thinking about that. It actually is made easier just because there's so many levels of being able to lie.

[Bert]

Well, it gives you home.

[Jen]

You're not, you know, they're just. It's just easier to lie about everything. And it's easier to meet people as well. I'm just talking like from my second marriage. I know that I am on my second marriage now, and I know that no matter what, I want things to happen. So because of that, I don't take my work home with me. I don't take my phone home with me. You know what I mean? I a lot more focused on it now. And I do see that there's just different. It's different now.

[Bert]

A private investigator a couple of months ago that said that what the Internet has done has made infidelity more accessible, but it's made it more difficult also because you leave an electronic fingerprint anytime you text or anytime you email or anytime you go to somebody's website, that it's much easier to get busted now than it was 30 or 40 years ago.

[Chris]

I can't remember if I told you you all this, but I know somebody who got busted cheating because he was text messaging with his wife from his phone and he said, I am at whatever. I'm at Taco Mac with Burt and Melissa, two coworkers, right? And she'll be like, oh, are you guys having fun? And he's like, yep, I'm gonna have one more beer. And, you know, we're all gonna have one more round, and then I'm headed home. And she goes, okay, send me a picture of them. He wasn't there. And what do you do? Like, he was at the. You know, according to him, he's at a table. If it's me, I should be able to go. Bert, Melissa, get together. Hold up your beers. Cheers.

[Melissa]

I just think. I mean, I think it's like Bert said, it's so complicated because that may be one element, but that there's another element where divorce is an option, where for our grandparents and, you know, in years past, divorce was not an option. That doesn't mean they were happy. It doesn't mean that somebody wasn't miserable, but they never got divorced. So I don't know. I don't know if I would just say that the, you know, smartphone is the only reason people are getting divorced.

[Chris]

Hey, Kendall, welcome to the bird show.

[Jen]

Hey. I just wanted to kind of do a different line of thinking about, you know, free time and stuff. And I think the phones are part of it. I think they're reinforcing this idea that we're all the most important people ever, which can't, you know, can't be true. The whole world is not going to stop if you don't answer an email for, you know, a couple of hours so that you can have dinner with friends or with your family or whatever. I mean, it's the idea that everybody is the most important and most special person ever, which isn't true. And then because you're thinking that you end up ignoring the people who are actually are important.

[Melissa]

Well, I, And I still have this discomfort in calling somebody in the evening. Like, if it's somebody who has a family or somebody who's in a relationship. It never dawns on me at past, like, 8 o' clock to give them a phone call, because that's just how we were in our home, that you just. It was rude to interrupt somebody's private time with their families. But I find that me. But Katie, more so, you know, that's their time to catch up if people have been working all day. So I do. I'm, I'm still. It's a foreign concept to me that her phone goes off so much. Cause I'm like, well, who is calling Noah that she's home in the evening with me? And we're, you know, who knows what we may.

[Chris]

You're so Old fashioned with your morals and family time.

[Melissa]

I mean, that's a crazy concept.

[Bert]

Melissa's black and white, living in a colored world.

[Chris]

Yeah, your little frozen kids are gonna grow up so dysfunctional. Kind hearted. You're so old, mom, whatever you do, do not teach them ethics.

[Matthew]

The bird show. The bird show.

[Chris]

Our intern Bianca is back after being gone for a week. And you're very missed, you know? You know what?

[Wendy]

Missed you guys.

[Melissa]

You didn't miss us.

[Bert]

Not even for a second. You didn't think about us for a second.

[Chris]

Kurt was so upset that you. You didn't come in, that he didn't come in at all either.

[Bert]

Yeah, I know. I purposely broke my knee. I said, if you're not going to be in, I'm not coming in.

[Chris]

So where'd you go for spring break?

[Bianca]

Cancun.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa]

Oh, and that's a party place.

[Bianca]

Yes, it is. Definitely.

[Chris]

Was this your first spring break?

[Bianca]

No, I've been plenty places before.

[Chris]

Take us old folks down there. Tell us what it's like in Mexico for spring break.

[Bianca]

Well, it's margaritas and partying and a lot of drinking.

[Melissa]

They still do that, huh?

[Chris]

Hey, Bert. Really? Did you really have knee surgery, Bert, or were you in cancer?

[Bert]

I was in Cancun. Yeah, I was fishing. That's where I got the knee injury. I don't think, like, spring break's never gonna change, man. Uh, same as it was 50 years ago as it is now.

[Melissa]

Drinking.

[Wendy]

Drinking. Do they do the thing at the Senior Frogs where they blow the whistle and shoot the shots into your mouth?

[Bianca]

No, we didn't do that, but I did it on the party boat.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Party boat. Drinking on the water.

[Wendy]

But then you had to get on a party boat.

[Bert]

Cheapest liquor in Mexico, man.

[Bianca]

Was there any bar all day? Unlimited.

[Melissa]

Wow.

[Bianca]

They just kept it coming.

[Chris]

Was there any day at spring break where you didn't have a drink of alcohol?

[Bianca]

No.

[Melissa]

Why would you do that?

[Bert]

Yeah, why would you?

[Bianca]

That's why I was just asking.

[Bert]

What's the point?

[Chris]

So I want to hear about the creepy guy because I've.

[Wendy]

This is fascinating.

[Chris]

I've heard stories of, like, dude, like adult dudes, like my age, dudes who go down to Cancun in Mexico because they, during spring break time as their vacation, like, they take their vacation week from their job, not their college spring break, their full time job. And I was like, whatever you get, you know, let it go. Yeah, that's.

[Bert]

I'm gonna tell next year, Stacy. I'm gonna tell her next year. That's why I'm going on my solo trip. We're gonn cancun on my solo trip.

[Chris]

It makes it any creepier than that

[Wendy]

to be on spring break?

[Jen]

Well, I.

[Chris]

You know, that's always a friend of a friend, you know, it's like that urban legend thing, right? But Bianca saw one or two of those dudes creeping around down there.

[Bianca]

It was very creepy. Well, we were boarding for the party boat, and it was all teenagers, and they were older people, but they were with their families. Nobody was solo. So this one guy came on by himself, and I looked. I was okay. So he sat in the corner.

[Melissa]

How old was he?

[Bianca]

He was late 30s, early 40s.

[Melissa]

Too old to be there.

[Bianca]

Yeah. So he was like. It was like he was disguised. He had a hat covering his face, big glasses on, like. And he sat in the back by himself. And he was just sitting. His arms were folded, and he was just watching the young girls, Right? So about an hour into it, everybody is drunk, everyone is dancing. And these girls, they were, like, really wild. Like, girls gone wild, whatever. So they went over to him. They were dancing on him, kissing on him. And then he finally, you know, got up and he interacted with them, but then he sat back down and was just watching them.

[Jen]

That's.

[Chris]

That visual is just creepy. Like, the old guy in the corner of the room watching.

[Bert]

Well, how did he get the girls to hook up with him if he was the creepy guy? They just went right up to him, wild.

[Bianca]

You know, they were just dancing on everyone bending over, doing splits.

[Melissa]

Like they were just beyond sitting there by himself. And you know, when you're drunk, that's a fun target.

[Chris]

And that guy's banking on. It's Jen, Bianca, Melissa, and Wendy. And they're the wild girls. They're banking on Melissa saying, hey, Jen, I dare you to go over there and make out with that dude.

[Melissa]

Look at that dude. Yeah. Nobody should be alone on a bus or on a party boat.

[McDonald's Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Bianca]

That was weird itself. He was by himself.

[Chris]

And how old were the girls?

[Bianca]

They were in their 20s, like 23, 24, maybe 21. Yeah. But anyway, so they were talking, whatever. And at the end of the trip, I mean, at the end of the boat ride, they were kissing this one girl in him. So I. I tapped my boyfriend. I was like, look at him. It looks pretty weird. And he's like, yeah, everyone's looking at it. So he whispers to the girls. I heard, because they were right next to me. He said, come to my hotel room, whatever. And I just, like, that's how girls end up missing. Like you don't do that. So I just thought it was pretty creepy. So I was on America's Most Wanted, trying to see if I seen him on there and stuff like that. I mean I have, I have a picture of him in my camera. So it. I just thought something was going on.

[Wendy]

And those girls were just so careless.

[Melissa]

Do you think they went.

[Wendy]

Did it look like they were gonna go back with him?

[Bianca]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Really, really well.

[Chris]

Cause he's got a full time job, you know, so he can. He's probably got the.

[Wendy]

He's promising to pay for stuff.

[Chris]

Yeah, he's probably staying at the nicer hotel. There's nobody else in the room and he can pay the tab and everything.

[Bert]

It's easy for us now to look back at it and see how stupid it was. But when you were there, I mean in your twenties, you're so reckless and you're just looking for like, yeah, when's the next good time gonna happen?

[Wendy]

Aware of a 45 year old dude hanging in the corner.

[Bert]

That's crazy.

[Melissa]

And we would have never let, we would have never let one leave the pack to go by themselves. You know, girls would, I mean, if you're a good friend, especially if you're on spring break, then you, in your group of girls that have gone together, you always make sure that you know where the others are.

[Bianca]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

You don't just let one go with somebody who. Especially older. That would have been extra creepy. But even just. Yeah, just somebody local and you don't know who they are. You just, you wouldn't let them go by themselves.

[Chris]

There's a TV show that right now that's on E. I stumbled across it on Sunday afternoon. And if you'd seen this Bianca, you may not have gone. Even as a young reckless college student. It's called Spring Break Nightmares. And it could basically be called Reasons to not go to Mexico because it seemed like.

[Melissa]

Was it just Mexico they were focused on?

[Chris]

80% of the stories had to do with Mexico. And it sucked. Like if you're the Mexico board of tourism.

[Bert]

Sure.

[Chris]

But it was story. The creepiest story were two dudes and they were partying and they had stories about like guys who got just roughed up by the cops to get money from them. You know, like the cops would instigate fights and then you'd have to pay your fine in cash in the back of the police car. And there's all those stories. And the creepiest one were these two dudes who were on a bus going back to Their hotel room. And they were having a conversation. And then the one dude wakes up on a bench in a park the next morning, he's like, hello. And his buddy's missing. Well, they do the whole investigation and they find out that sitting behind them on the bus were members of this gang that sells and distributes drugs. Drug gang. And they believe that they need to remain smarter than the authorities and have superpowers. And one way they could obtain that is by eating the brain.

[Wendy]

This sounds like a horror, like an

[Melissa]

urban legend or something.

[Chris]

They showed it, it was the Mexican version of cops because they believed they could eat the brain and they had to find smart blond headed people.

[Bert]

What?

[Chris]

Yep. So these guys were having a conversation on the bus. And the one guy in that conversation said that he was a pre med

[Melissa]

student and he was blonde.

[Chris]

And he was blonde. The other guy was not a pre med student. They made the determination at that point that the blonde guy would go. So they took the blond guy, they kill him, do crazy things with his body, bury him on the farm. When they did the investigation, the cool thing about the Mexican version of cops, you get busted doing something wrong in Mexico, they made the guy who did it dig up the body. So that's what the TV coverage is like, him trying to dig. And it was like 20 people over a dozen years that they had found. And it was.

[Melissa]

I can't believe this, because it does sound like something my mother would tell me before I went on spring break.

[Bert]

Right, to scare you like a scared straight story. Look, I went down to Waikiki for spring break one year with two dudes. We didn't see my friend Kenny for four days. He left with a girl and never even thought twice about it.

[Chris]

Just slow, Kenny.

[Bert]

Slow Kenny. It was pretty fast that week. And we didn't see him for four days. Never thought twice about it. And he showed up right before we left for our flight and everything was fine.

[Melissa]

Girls are different. Well, I mean, still reckless, but when you're that young man, you don't even

[Bert]

process that kind of danger.

[Melissa]

We would have never let a girl be gone for four days in our group.

[Chris]

The. The name of the show, it's on E. And it's called True Horror Stories. Spring Break edition or something like that. I found a link to the page, but I can't find the next time it airs. So I'll give that to Joanna and I'll keep researching. But check it out. It's. Yeah, it's on E. And it'll freak you out. Parents, if you got kids at spring break don't watch it.

[Matthew]

Hey, the bird show.