Full Show PT 2: Monday, March 30 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, March 30 [Vault]

Date: March 30, 2026
Hosts/Cast: Bert (Host), Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Melissa, Jennifer, Mike
Notable Callers: Joanne, Amber, Carla, Cora, Marcia, others

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into real-life listener relationship dilemmas, behind-the-scenes confessions from fast food workers, and vulnerable personal stories from the cast—particularly regarding marriage, addiction, and healing childhood trauma. The show’s signature blend of humor, authenticity, and empathy is at the forefront as the cast navigates emotionally charged listener calls and shares their own experiences.

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Segment 1: Listener Joanne – Relationship Temptation and Emotional Affairs

Theme: The emotional complexity and consequences of infidelity temptations, especially in blended families.

Discussion Points and Insights

• Recap: Joanne previously confessed to not being in love with her husband and being strongly attracted to another man from work, planning a dinner date while her husband was out of town. She returns for a follow-up.
• Joanne’s Decision: She describes going through with the dinner but feeling nervous and limiting herself to one glass of wine, seeking clarity rather than an affair.
  • “Somewhere in me, I knew I needed to see him and sort of maybe close it off in my mind. See him one time like that. And that was really it.” – Joanne, [04:18]
• Night’s End: Joanne tells the man her feelings, emphasizing the situation is too complicated and can’t continue.
  • “I said, you know, look, I'm amazed by you… but this is too complicated. I know I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt everybody involved… I gotta figure my stuff out.” – Joanne, [05:52]
• Physical Restraint: The night ends with a brief, non-passionate kiss, which Joanne describes as closure.

Cast and Caller Reactions

• Praise for Restraint:
  • “Good for you. I mean, you went, but you didn’t go all the way… you didn't pull the trigger on it.” – Bert, [06:19]
• Concern for Emotional Boundaries:
  • “My concern is the more time you spend with him and …have conversations… you are going to go in that path.” – Jennifer, [06:30]
• The Reality of Emotional Cheating:
  • “Yeah, you didn't sleep with him, but you're cheating on your husband emotionally for sure.” – Jennifer, [12:01]
• Accountability: Cast urges Joanne to take full responsibility and not justify putting herself in tempting situations.
  • “You knew exactly what you were doing. Take responsibility for what you've done, and then end it or don't end it. End it with your husband or…with this dude, but you can't have both.” – Jennifer, [08:16]
• Joanne’s Dilemma:
  • She admits uncertainty about fixing her marriage, hopes for counseling, but also holds onto hope that she and the other man could “find their way back” if things end.

Notable Caller Quotes

• Callers offer blunt advice: “She's ridiculous. She's gonna continue to see this man Friday.” – Carla, [08:02]
• Others highlight the emotional risks for Joanne’s stepdaughter and the impact of cheating on children.

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Segment 2: Fast Food Horror Stories – Confessions & Viral Video Fallout

Theme: The dark underbelly of the food service industry and why being respectful to food service workers matters.

Discussion Points and Insights

• Trigger: Discussion launched by news of a viral video showing Domino’s employees contaminating food in North Carolina.
• Cast’s Experience: Bert recalls never having seen such behavior in his four years at Taco Bell.
  • “I worked at Taco Bell proudly for four years, and …never saw that… Not from anybody.” – Bert, [15:28]
• Listener Horror Stories:
  • A listener recounts a coworker at Chick-fil-A stirring soup with genitalia, caught on security tape ([17:35]).
  • Another describes putting blister fluid into a customer’s food at Waffle House ([21:22]).
  • A hotel worker was imprisoned for urinating in coffee—convicted of a second-degree felony—emphasizing the severity of such acts ([20:33]).
• Advice to Listeners: Always be kind when ordering food to minimize risk, since rude customers are more likely to become targets.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If you eat takeaway food, you have eaten someone else's pubis.” – Mike, [15:18]
• The gross-out level escalates with each story, prompting laughter and mock-horror among the cast.
• Resolution: The cast and callers joke that even mold or roaches in food seem preferable to these human-origin "additions.” ([23:09])

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Segment 3: Bert Gets Vulnerable – Marriage, Addiction, and Family Trauma

Theme: The personal toll of addiction in a family, emotional disconnection, and tackling long-buried childhood pain.

Discussion Points and Insights

• Bert’s Story: He opens up about struggling to reconnect with his wife, Stacy, after her five-year addiction to prescription pain medication. Now that she’s sober, Bert finds it hard to shift out of "emotional distance" mode, despite being proud of her recovery.
  • “I've kept her at arm's length for so long… it's five years. We're not talking about five weeks.” – Bert, [28:53]
• Cast Reflection: Melissa and Jennifer discuss the unique pain caretakers feel, often sidelined as the focus remains on the addict.
• Childhood Trauma: Bert shares that his emotionally neglectful upbringing has deeply affected his ability to connect, even making his therapist cry.
  • “I didn't really know how big a deal it was until I have made my therapist cry twice in therapy over the last year.” – Bert, [30:26]
• Therapy Homework: Bert’s therapist encourages him to revisit his childhood home to try to “jog” suppressed memories and break through emotional numbness.
  • “My therapist has suggested that we drive to Long beach, where I grew up, and…go in there and see if I can jog some memories loose.” – Bert, [32:08]

Notable Quotes

• “When you grow up in that environment, that's all you know.” – Bert, [30:38]
• “If I had to do it all over again…I would have manned up more about it. I would have fought more.” – Bert, on helping an addicted spouse, [36:25]
• “I want to go. I want to knock on the door. I want to go through it...I'm not scared to go through. I want to go through it now.” – Bert, on confronting his childhood trauma, [37:19]

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Segment 4: Amber’s Dilemma – Best Friend Dating the Ex-Husband

Theme: Loyalty, secrecy, and the sense of betrayal in post-divorce friend dynamics.

Discussion Points and Insights

• Amber’s Situation: Calls in to describe discovering—via her best friend’s Facebook account—that her best friend is dating her ex, who she divorced after a painful split.
  • “So I eventually had moved to Atlanta…and…checking his stuff out, an ichat pops up…confirming a date for tonight. Oh, and I land tonight.” – Amber, [42:31]
• Plan of Action: Amber admits she changed her flight to arrive earlier and plans to confront them mid-date.
• Cast Advises Caution: Cast members suggest Amber is setting herself up for pain and recommend she formulate an exit strategy, even recommend not going and protecting her emotional well-being.
• Callers’ Perspectives:
  • Marcia recounts forgiving her friend and ex for starting a relationship, advocating a “let it go” approach ([46:53]).
  • The cast debates whether true forgiveness is genuinely possible in such scenarios.

Notable Quotes

• “I don't admire that. I gotta be honest with you.” – Jennifer, on forgiving a friend/ex-husband relationship, [48:13]
• “Closure…when you're feeling so nice to finally have closure about it.” – Jennifer & Melissa, [48:52]
• Amber is determined to confront the situation and promises to follow up with the show after, highlighting the emotional need for "closure" even at the risk of further hurt.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “You can only say no so many times. But the more you hang out with this guy, the more intoxicated you’re going to be with him and it’s going to happen.” – Bert, [08:40]
• “If you eat takeaway food, you have eaten someone else's pubis.” – Mike, [15:18]
• “I didn't really know how big a deal it was until I have made my therapist cry twice in therapy over the last year.” – Bert, [30:26]
• “If I had to do it all over again…I would have fought more.” – Bert, [36:25]
• “Closure…when you're feeling so nice to finally have closure about it.” – Jennifer & Melissa, [48:52]

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Key Timestamps

• 00:46 – 12:16 – Joanne’s follow-up: relationship temptation, emotional affair, reactions and advice
• 14:14 – 23:19 – Fast food horror stories: Domino’s viral video, listener confessions, food service “secrets”
• 24:51 – 38:21 – Bert’s therapy journey: addiction in marriage, overcoming family trauma, cast’s reflections
• 40:09 – 50:13 – Amber’s betrayal: Best friend/ex-husband romance uncovered, cast and caller perspectives, coping plans

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Episode Tone

• The episode balances the Bert Show’s trademark humor and lighthearted banter with empathy and realness, especially in emotionally charged discussions. There’s both laughter and heartfelt advice as the hosts and listeners confront uncomfortable truths, tough choices, and the messy reality of relationships.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you missed this episode, you’ll get both cringe-worthy confessionals (that’ll make you rethink complaining at the drive-thru), soul-baring stories of love, loss, and family healing, and the unpredictable drama that happens when “real life” and Facebook collide. The show doesn’t shy away from complexity—and neither do its listeners and cast.

Transcript

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[The Bird Show Host]

The Bird show previously on the Bird Show.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Been married to my husband for four years. I have a stepdaughter. My husband and I, we get along really well. He's a really good guy, but I never fell in love with him. I just, I love. So I feel half satisfied all the time. And I have met this man, we've had lunches together and it's just like sparkling. Nothing has happened between us yet. And my husband is going out of town this weekend. This man and I have been planning to go to dinner tonight. It is implied that it's a date. We're both thinking dinner and possibilities. And that's been said more or less. I feel more in love than I've ever felt. I feel like this is what it's supposed to be. I guess. I almost want you to tell me, don't do it.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So that was fun on the show and a bunch of you guys called up saying, just don't do it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Yeah, there was a lot of really passionate people. One woman called up and said that she had been affected for the rest of her life because of her parents affairs.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

But most were calling up saying, look, this is not going to be a one time thing here. Some were calling saying they got away with it, but they think about it every day for their entire life. So we told her, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Right?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

The truth is that her husband was out of town. She sort of had a free pass. So did she go through with it or not? And we even said on Friday, like if you do it, you can't really say it was a mistake.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, she's been building a relationship with this guy at work. So it's not like it was just her husband's out of town and she was gonna hook up. It was this guy that she was already flirting with and having suggestive text with and conversations with. So she was already kind of building this relationship up with this guy at work, and they were just going to finish it off this weekend while the husband was out of town.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So it was a series of bad decisions, but you couldn't look back at it and go, I just made a mistake. So Joanne is back, and she is on the voice disguiser. Joanne, when we got off the phone with you on Friday, did anybody say anything to you that really sort of jolted your system?

[Joanne (Caller)]

Yeah, the woman who was talking about how she was affected by her parents cheating or her mother, I can't remember which one, cheated, but that it changed her life and she felt she has trust issues. Now, that really, really got me.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Because you're starting to think, look, if I do this, I might scar my stepdaughter forever.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Yeah, I did.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Because your stepdaughter, you said, is like a daughter to you.

[Joanne (Caller)]

She is. I mean, she's with me and my husband most of the time, so she's a huge part of my life.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Well, take us through the day. Then we get off the phone with you, and it's early, and then I'm sure either you were started to text him or he started texting you, telling you how excited he was about Friday night, or you were texting him. So take us through the whole day.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Okay, so we actually spoke on the phone to talk about what time we were going to meet up and everything. And I sort of didn't explain how nervous I was. I know the message I got from all the people on your station and everything, but sort of felt like that was something that I just had to do. And I know that everybody thinks that that's wrong. We made a time that we were gonna meet up. I got ready to go out, obviously, and we met up for dinner.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So hold on one sec. So hold on, hold on, hold on. So you call him, and he calls you, and you say that you're excited about Friday night, and never once do you say to him, look, maybe this isn't something that we should do. Maybe we should just think about this.

[Joanne (Caller)]

No, I thought it in my head a million times, but it didn't come out of my mouth.

[The Bird Show Host]

Okay.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

All right, so you go ahead and you set the Friday night dinner up. Okay.

[Joanne (Caller)]

So I was very nervous. I decided in my head. I said, you know, I knew that we would probably have drinks, and I said, a glass of wine, tops, for me. I didn't want to be clouded by having had too much to drink or. I didn't want to be able to blame anything on anyone but myself. So we ended up meeting for dinner, and I had a glass of wine, and we had a great time. But that was really. That was it. I think somewhere in me, I knew I needed to see him and sort of maybe close it off in my mind. See him one time like that. And that was really it.

[Mike (Co-host)]

So did you close it off? Like, is it done?

[Joanne (Caller)]

I think so. I hope so. I mean, we had an amazing time. Look, I love this man. If my life were different, then it would be the beginning of something. It can't be. And I know that.

[Mike (Co-host)]

And how did the night end? Like, what last five minutes of the evening?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Because, you know, he was thinking that as soon as dinner's over and I got a little whining or that this thing's gonna progress in the way it sure looks like it's going to, right?

[Joanne (Caller)]

I don't think that he thought that

[Mike (Co-host)]

exactly, because, yes, he did.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Well, we discussed it. We discussed it at dinner. Once we were at dinner, we had a lot of great other conversations, but I told him how I was feeling, and I felt like I was gonna throw up all over the table.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Like, what's one of the things that you were talk. Talking about at dinner while he was thinking of your boobs?

[Joanne (Caller)]

I don't know how to answer that.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

How did you say it to him that this wasn't going to happen tonight?

[Joanne (Caller)]

I said, you know, look, I'm amazed by you. You fool me, but this is too complicated. And I'm. I said, I know I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt everybody involved in this because there's no clean way to do it. And I just feel like I gotta figure my stuff out and my. And I hope that you're here when I get back, or I hope I figure it out the other way. But I feel like I'm just dragging you along.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Good for you. I mean, I think this has gotta be praised. I mean, you went, but you didn't. I mean, go all the way. You didn't pull the trigger on it. So Melissa's looking at me like there's no praise. That should be.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

My concern is the more time you spend with him and the more conversations you have with him, you are going to go in that path.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

You for sure are. If you don't cut it off 100%, you're for sure gonna go down.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

She.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I mean, you're the. Well, I hope this is the end. I Hope. Well, you know what? It's up to you, and you don't sound definitive, so you won't be able

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

to be strong like this forever.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Did you kiss him? At the end of the night?

[Joanne (Caller)]

He drove me home, and at the door, he gave me, like, a soft, quick peck on the left. And it felt more like a closure than anything else. It was almost like a fret. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't passionate or anything like that.

[Mike (Co-host)]

We understand that because Lindell just left for Australia, and we gave her all a quick, soft peck on the lips.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yours lingered a little longer than the

[Mike (Co-host)]

rest of ours, but, yeah, it's a sense of closure.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

There was also her hands trying to push you off of her. You just would not let her go.

[Mike (Co-host)]

But it felt like closure. Right?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I know. She walked out the door, and Jeff's like, I guess no really does mean no, huh?

[Mike (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

She was calling 911 at the time, but you didn't pay attention to that.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I mean, everybody is calling up to rip on her here, but the truth of the matter is, the end of the date happened, and she didn't sleep with this guy. At least a little bit of that happened.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Why'd they go on the date if I'm your husband? If I was your husband listening into this entire conversation like, yes, he's gonna be hurt.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

For sure, he'd be hurt.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

She has not ended this.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Latoya. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Amber (Caller)]

Good morning.

[Carla (Caller)]

She's ridiculous.

[Amber (Caller)]

She's gonna continue to see this Man Friday.

[Carla (Caller)]

I kind of have some sympathy for

[Amber (Caller)]

her, but I don't know.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Well, you definitely got to cut this thing off. You do sound a little middle of the road, but if you continue to text, I mean, you got to break up with this guy, like, today.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

See, what you're doing is you're trying to create an environment in which everything's happening to you so you hope this is over. It's almost as if. If something happens, then. Well, I just couldn't help myself. I just couldn't help myself is, to me, the most irritating sentence ever spoken because you knew exactly what you were doing. Take responsibility for what you've done, and then end it or don't end it. End it with your husband or end it with this dude, but you can't have both.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah. If you keep putting yourself in this situation, you know where it's going to end up. You already know that before it happens. You can only say no so many times. But the more you hang out with this guy, the more intoxicated you're going to be with him and it's going to happen.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I mean, didn't you say, I hope that after this is all said and done that he'll be back, that he'll still be there? He'll still be there, he'll still be there for you?

[Joanne (Caller)]

I basically said that I don't know which way it's going to go. And that's just the truth. I don't know if I'm going to be able to work it out with my husband. I want to and I plan to, but I don't know that that will be the end. And I hope that if it doesn't work out that somehow I will find this man from work that we'll be able to work it out.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

But I think the question that I can't.

[Joanne (Caller)]

I know that he can't promise me that and I know that I can't ask that of him. And I feel like everyone is just so tunnel visioned. It's sort of like I understand that the whole situation sucks and that I did something wrong and I totally take responsibility for that. But it's a very complicated situation. It's not easy and I feel like I made a pretty good decision in the end.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I think the question you need to ask yourself, is your relationship with your husband already over?

[Joanne (Caller)]

Yeah. And I'm saying I don't know the answer to that. I hope not. And I plan to talk to him. I hope to go to marriage counseling, if he will, and hope to figure it out, to find a spark back in it. And that would be the goal. And then if that doesn't work, then we'll see. I don't know. We have years behind us. I can't answer that question in one second.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

But here's the thing. If you are honest in your appraisal that it may not be over with your husband yet, then you're not giving it a fair chance if you're still seeing this guy on the side. You can't fully resolve things with your husband if you always know that you had this backup plan, a text or a phone call away.

[Joanne (Caller)]

I don't plan to be seeing this guy on the side. I have to see him at work. And there's nothing I can do about that. But I don't plan to continue having Friday night dinners and I don't plan to text him anymore. All I was saying was that I, you know, if things don't work out, that my secret dream is that stars would work out, that we'd find our way back to each other. And that's just the truth.

[Amber (Caller)]

I make up my mind that's just

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

the language, that my secret dream is that the stars would align and we. I mean, it just. It's kind of like what Jim was saying. It sounds like you have given up on your marriage.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

It's inevitable. I think you're trying to do the right thing because you, you know what the right thing to do is. But your heart wants to be with somebody else.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I mean, imagine your husband hearing you say that.

[Joanne (Caller)]

No, it would kill me, but my heart does want to be with someone else right now. But like you were saying the other day, that it has a lot to do with what's going on within my relationship right now. And so I don't know, if I were to go in and if we were to dig into that together, my husband and I, for our sake, for my stepdaughter's sake, that maybe that that would change right now. That's how I feel. What am I supposed to do?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I'd be willing to bet in a couple of months if we check back with you, you're gonna be in the same situation.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

But you can't have both. And the thing is, in the end, you cannot have both.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

But at least for the weekend, I mean, it sounds like it was a band aid, but at least for the weekend. She didn't do anything, but.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Yeah, I'm glad you didn't do anything.

[Mike (Co-host)]

So do you say congratulations for that?

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I mean, I think that's.

[Amber (Caller)]

No,

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

she didn't sleep with the guy this weekend. But I think if you continue to put yourself in this situation, it's only a matter of time.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Yeah, you didn't sleep with him, but you're cheating on your husband emotionally for sure. Because I mean, you went on the date and I mean the stars align and you went and had wine, had a great time. I mean, it just, you put your. You're putting yourself continuously in the situation that's tempting you.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

We gotta run, Joanne. But I appreciate you sharing your story with us. Thanks a lot. All right, good luck. The Bird show

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[Mike (Co-host)]

This is Mike Bolow of Lexicon Valley

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[Mike (Co-host)]

Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?

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Find us on one of those apps

[Mike (Co-host)]

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[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Here's the deal. It's North Carolina and I want to make this statement about local Domino's. Also do not punish the local dominoes here. Cuz I can tell you right now, I'm getting hungover on Sunday and I'm going to Domino's.com and I don't care

[Mike (Co-host)]

any Domino's, any Domino's. Now I have done the thing on Domino's, you know, where you watch them make your pizza and I never saw it come up where it says Jesus is farting on your pizza right now.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Insert booger here.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah, which is what's been going on.

[Mike (Co-host)]

That never came up on the.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

So is that what Canadian bacon really is?

[Mike (Co-host)]

Right?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I hope not. Well, and I'm wondering if this is an isolated incident. It totally is. Or not just Domino's, but if there are those that worked in the fast food community that would confess to us that this might happen to you guys a little bit more than you think. Look, it's not gonna kill you, but there's some stuff on your tacos or your burgers or your pizza that if I as a worker not happy that day or someone in the drive through ticks me off, I take it out on the next dude's order. I pluck and drop.

[Mike (Co-host)]

You just need to accept the fact

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

that kick and drop have ever lived

[Mike (Co-host)]

near or on a college campus. If you eat takeaway food, you have eaten someone else's pubis.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Oh, dude.

[Amber (Caller)]

Oh, come on.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

That's gross.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Nobody in this room has more fast food experience than I do. I worked at Taco Bell proudly for four years, and I wear it like a badge of honor. And I never. I seriously never saw that in the four years. Not from anybody.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I never worked in pastel.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Well, now, aren't there surveillance cameras everywhere and all that kind of stuff? It gets worse now. Yeah, but these idiots try to do something like that.

[Mike (Co-host)]

We're doing it. And they were video. It wasn't a surveillance camera. It's a woman holding, like, a camcorder.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

The video is up on our website right now. Yeah, and she puts it up on YouTube. These two clowns put it on YouTube. It's their last day at Domino's. They're in North Carolina. There's a series of four videos. Some of them are kind of graphic. Like, one dude pulls his pants down and puts, like, a dish towel up his butt, wipes his butt with it, and then starts washing some of the dishes. At this particular Domino's in North Carolina. It didn't happen here.

[Amber (Caller)]

That's gnarly. Oh.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So one woman, she looks like she's about 20 years old. She's holding the camera, and her male co worker is. She's just describing what's going on in these videos.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Did y' all see that? He just put a booger on those sandwiches. You remember the time when you sneezed? Do it again. Do it again. And I don't understand what you guys.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Ew.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Now, Michael, I think this tail change, they're gonna be full of protein.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Like a little snot with your mayo.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

We all have our secret ingredients. Now, he just farted on the salami that goes on these sandwiches. And in about five minutes, they'll be sent out on delivery where somebody will be eating these. Yes, Eating them. And little did they know that cheese was in his nose and that there was some lethal gas that ended up on their salami. Now, that's how we roll at Domino's.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah. Let me explain that for a second. He starts putting, like, small pieces of cheese up his nose and then putting them back on the pizza or back on the sandwiches also. Hey, Steven. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[The Bird Show Host]

Back in high school, I worked at a restaurant. It was chick fil a, my friend. Actually Got fired because he stirred the soup with his tally whacker.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

No way.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

No way. How did they catch.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

No way.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

How did they catch the guy? Ye.

[The Bird Show Host]

Well, that's the problem. He sent it out and the person actually ate it. And we were being immature. I mean, we were watching it. I mean, it was gross. But anyway, he got called into the manager's office the next day. And that just so happened to be one of the days that they were reviewing tapes and they saw it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

But isn't that something to brag about?

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I can stir the soup with my penis.

[The Bird Show Host]

Yeah, it was. It was nasty.

[Mike (Co-host)]

If you mess with chick fil a, not only do you get fired, but you go to hell.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Right?

[Mike (Co-host)]

They're closed on Sundays. I mean, they're. They're a God fearing company. He's gonna burn for the rest of his days.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I mean, as soon as he sat down in front of management and they turned the TV on, he must have known even before they showed him what they saw, exactly what was going on.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Can you imagine being the security guy who has to review tapes and it's normally so boring. He's like, bored, bored. Bo. What is that?

[Carla (Caller)]

Rewind.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

And then he calls his friends. Come over here. I gotta shut you.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

There are no shortage of these calls. Oh, I've never eaten. And if you're going to fast, these are gonna freak you out. Y'. All.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Some fast food is so good that I will risk it.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Not after this call. Hey, Jake, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Bob Garfield]

I worked at Waffle House and I used to have an open spot that

[The Bird Show Host]

leaked a lot of pus.

[Bob Garfield]

And I rubbed it all over somebody's waffle because they were being jerked and they sit there and ate it.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

You guys gotta remember something. My wife will do this from time to time. Oh, my God.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Rub her sewer on a waffle.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

No, she will complain before we get our food. That's the reason right there. You wait until you are signing the ch check until you say anything. If what you're saying is going to be interpreted in any way, shape or form as rude, you shut up.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Who would complain at every meal, he found something wrong with the service, the silverware, the tablecloth. He would complain to the server. I would say 90% of the time that I ever went out to.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Why would you go out with him?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

That's what we thought. Every time there had to be something

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

in his food, that's a deal breaker.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Yeah, he ate a lot of pubis.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Adrian, good Morning. You're on Q1.

[Amber (Caller)]

Hundred. I worked for a popular pizza chain and probably the worst thing we ever did, other than body fluid or hair going on the pizza, was that all

[The Bird Show Host]

the meat is pre cooked, so you

[Amber (Caller)]

can pop a handful in your mouth, chew it up, get it right back out on the pizza, shut up. Or a handful of cheese. So my advice to everybody is, and it always has been, when you call to order food or when you go to a restaurant, be nice. Be very nice, and they won't even think twice about messing with your food.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Be rude at the end. Or if you're never going back ever again. My God.

[Bob Garfield]

Hello.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Hey, how are you?

[The Bird Show Host]

Well, I have one where a guy I had worked with at a hotel in Tampa is actually doing time in Florida prison because he had peed in the coffee. Security tape caught it. I had warned the general manager that he was doing this and they thought I was crazy. When I told them, they installed a security camera in the breakfast pantry area. Caught him red handed. Hillsborough county arrested him. Is a second degree felony. It is basically, you could have killed somebody by putting fluid of your own body inside the coffee. I had to testify in court in Tampa and he got, I kid you not, 20 years in for doing this because it is a second degree felony. It's almost the same as attempted murder in the eyes of the DA down there.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And now she's in jail for 20 years.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Oh, God.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Nasty.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Hey, Cora. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Amber (Caller)]

I used to work at a Waffle House when one of my cooks got so mad because I kept coming back trying to fix an order. And he had previously burned his hand about two nights ago. And so he had blisters all over his hand. It was so gross. And he was supposed to be wearing a glove, but he got really mad at this customer. He kept going to my customer and asking, you know, what's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? And it became a big scene. So he finally ended up cooking his meal. Right. But he definitely took off his glove and just put his fluids all in his food and then watched him eat it. And I wanted to say something so bad because it was my customer, but at the same time, it's your tip

[Joanne (Caller)]

at the end of the day.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Damn. So blister fluid in the food.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

This is gross.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

This is the end of the Domino's stuff here. And again, there are four different videos. And I mean, it's boogers. It's like I said, it's the guy's wiping his button and washing the dishes. And here she is. She's holding the video camera.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Get the booger sticks out, sprinkle them with sprinkles so they'll never know that there's snot on it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Our manager is unaware of what we

[Amber (Caller)]

are doing at the moment.

[Carla (Caller)]

She's back in the back reading a

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

newspaper like always while we're up here pounding around foot and snot and people's food. Now it's ready to be shipped to some unlucky customer.

[Mike (Co-host)]

I think, I think the safest bet is for you just to relay that

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

we could have done this for the next half an hour. The shocking. The last shocking call would have been a guy full releasing on a pizza.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I'm not even gonna take it. No, no,

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

no.

[Mike (Co-host)]

You know what? If Adam Murphy came in right now,

[Cool Stuff Daily Host]

I would feel clean.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I know, right?

[Mike (Co-host)]

Like I. I want a roach.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I'll take a roach over that.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I know.

[Mike (Co-host)]

I want a roach pooping on my crouton right now.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Right?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

No kidding.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Seriously. Mold in the ice chest.

[Cool Stuff Daily Host]

Definitely.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Bring it on.

[Mike (Co-host)]

I will climb in there and drink my soda from the bottom of the ice machine.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

The Birch Show.

[Tyler Redick]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing Victory Lane. Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side. Race to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba.

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[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Kanchowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Cool Stuff Daily Host]

Every day the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool Stuff Daily takes a look at everything from mining and stuff space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for Cool Stuff Daily as we take a quick look at science tech and the. Wait, what stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to Cool Stuff Daily now because the future's happening fast and it's way too fun to miss.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

All right, so it feels a little strange to talk about my therapy here on the air, but I will. I've been seeing therapists on and off my whole life. You know, I grew up in a jacked up family where nobody really cared about each other very much. So I think I've sort of been in and out of therapy my whole life because my relationships with people just have never felt right. Girlfriends never felt right. My place in the world just a little off. Something didn't feel right, you know, and there's some connection there, so I sort of dabbled in it. For those of you that don't know, my wife was hooked on prescription medication for five years and she's just come out of that and she's recovering now. But it was a really, really brutal five years in our house. Like, my wife just turned into this person that I don't even know. Certainly not the woman that I signed up for. And she hasn't been the woman that I fell in love with. Just the drugs have taken her over. And it has. It's been a rough five years for all of us, for everybody in the house, without getting too much in depth with it. She's over that now and she kicked the habit. But for like five years now, I've sort of been in the house, but not in the house, if you know what I mean.

[Domino's Employee (Video Caller)]

Mm.

[S]

Like, mentally?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah. I just been putting a lot of distance between Stacy and I because I'm. I'm not going anywhere. I've got kids. I made a commitment. So I've always said to myself that if I'm in a marriage that you've got to give it 250% before you walk out the door. And when you have kids, at least in my head, you have to give 450%. So I did what I could do. Stacy was going through this very painful time. I was going through it with her, and then I sort of wasn't going through it with her also because I was keeping her at arm's length and we disconnected. You know, I didn't know how to deal with it. Sometimes I was helping out and other times I just mentally had to check out, you know, because this person was not the person that I fell in love with and I wasn't liking.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, I think a lot of times people don't realize the effect on caretakers in any situation because everybody's affected by anything that's going on, like you said. And so I think that the person going through whatever struggle they're going through has to go through it, because it's there for you. Who wasn't going through that physically, you had to kind of stand by and endure it and then deal with it. And, I mean, I think that there's so many people that don't know how to handle that situation.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

And I think not only caretaker, but also addiction and the way that that runs through people's lives and marriages, you know. Yeah.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And the people around them aren't really allowed to talk and complain about it, because the focus is on the person that's addicted and the pain that they're going through. So if you're the caretaker or you're in the house also, you sort of repress it, and you're like, well, I'm gonna put myself on the back burner right now, because this person's going through real pain, and I can't really bitch about it. So you sort of keep it inside.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's like depression. Like, partners of people who have depression have to deal with the other person's depression.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

The consistent thing is that the caretaker is not going through it. So you're not addicted to it, but you have to deal with it. So you're feeling fine and you're ready to do whatever, but you can't. And over time, I mean, naturally, somebody's gonna distance themselves from that.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And I did, and the relationship has deteriorated. So now she's off the pain medications, and she kicked it in one weekend, and she's just been awesome about it, and she has turned back into a better version of what she was before she was on the pain medication. It, like, should jumpstart our relationship again. This is. I got her back. In fact, I'm so proud of her, too. I'm really proud of her. I mean, to do that in one weekend and stick to it, like doctors would say would predict right now, she's not gonna stick with it because 99% of people that do it on their own and do it the way Stacy did in one weekend go back on the pain medication. But I've seen this woman in a lot of pain this week based on her back and her eye, and she is not touching it.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

She won't go anywhere near problem.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Right. Not purposely. People on accident on acc. So to make a long story short, I've disconnected from my wife. And now that she's this new person, I'm having a tough time getting back into that mode. I've kept her at arm's length for so long, and Disconnected, that I just don't feel there. I just don't feel it's there.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's like that mode almost has become more regular.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

That's the routine now. That's what I know. I mean, it's five years. We're not talking about five weeks. We're talking about five years. So I decided to go to start therapy for it. You know, how do I get back, you know, to this place that I need to be with my wife? I never fell out of love with Stacy. I just fell out of, like, with her a long time ago. And I'm just having a tough time getting back into it. So I go to see a therapist, and we're working on that. And while we're working on that, of course, when you go to see a therapist, you don't just work on one issue. A whole bunch of crap starts coming up. So what I have conveniently done is I sort of repressed how bad my childhood has been. Like, my dad and my mom weren't physically abusive. They just didn't care. You know, there was never a priority in the house. There was never a vacation. There was never a birthday celebration. The kids never came first. It was always them, them, them, them, them. And the kids just didn't matter. You know, that's how I grew up all the way until I left the house at 18 years old. So the ramifications of that. I didn't think it was a big deal because I got a lot of friends that felt like, to me, were in a worse situation than I were. I got a lot of friends that used to get beat by their dads every time they came in the house and stuff like that. So I've just sort of blocked it all out. You know, it's painful to talk about. I just didn't think it was as big a deal as others. And I didn't really know how big a deal it was until I have made my therapist cry twice in therapy over the last year. That is hard to do. I seriously did not realize how bad it was until she teared up on me twice. And I'm like, really? Is it that bad? Because when you grow up in that environment, that's all you know? So as I'm relaying the stories to her and I'm sort of doing it in this emotionless way, she's like, are you kidding me? Really? I'm like, yeah, so that's.

[Joanne (Caller)]

That.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

That's not what you want to hear from your therapist.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Are you kidding me? Of all the years that she's been

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

a therapist, dude, she's tearing up. I'm talking to her, and she's tearing up. And I literally would stop the session going, are you crying?

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Like, wait a second.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I'm paying to cry in here, not you.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Oh, my God.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I feel like, uh.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Oh, Bert. I mean, you've always said when the rest of us have talked about family in here, that it's hard for you.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah, it is. It's really hard.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, I also wonder.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I didn't think it was that bad.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I also wonder when you had kids, if that all this had to surface kind of resurface a little bit.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Well, part of this is. Part of my homework assignment this weekend is that I've compartmentalized all of it. Like, what happened to me in my childhood and how bad it was. I've just sort of, like, forgotten about. Literally forgotten about. I can't remember things that you guys can remember in your childhood. I have zero recollection on. Like, you probably have memories from when you were 6, 7, 8 years old.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Like, first day of school.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I've got nothing. Really? I've got nothing. And when you guys probably have pictures that your parents took of you on those days to jog those memories, because my parents just didn't care. I got no point of reference, no pictures, no nothing. So I can't remember anything. So I haven't really attacked this problem, my therapist thinks for years and years and years and years. So I'm going to New York City this weekend because my mom's husband is celebrating his birthday, so we're gonna be in Manhattan. So my therapist has suggested that we drive to Long beach, where I grew up, and drive around the neighborhood a little bit and knock on the door of my childhood home and go in there and see if I can jog some memories loose.

[The Bird Show Host]

Wow.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

For what reason? What's the purpose of that? Like, if you do jog those memories and those childhood memories come up, like,

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

she feels like will that he. She feels like when I tell the story of my childhood, that I tell it like it is, like it's a book, and that I don't attach the feelings to it and how painful it is. And until I do that and feel it and can jog some of those memories, that it's gonna be a difficult therapy for me. So she thinks by me cruising around Long beach and by me knocking on the door and walking through that house a little bit, that maybe it'll accelerate things a little bit.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Because if you're block, if your mind is blocking that out, like, that's a total protection reason. One of my best friends growing up had abuse in the home and abuse of her in the home. And there were times when we were older that she would ask me questions about what happened because she had literally blacked out so many parts of her childhood because her emotions and her brain shut it down, because she obviously didn't feel she could handle thinking about those things again. But you can't. But you can't process it or heal from it as long as it's blacked out.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And I've never talked to people about it before, so I just assumed nobody remembered anything from their childhood. I guess, like, if you don't talk to people about it, you just assume everybody else is the same way. So while I'm talking to my therapist about it, she's like, you can't remember a birthday? I can't remember a birthday. Not a birthday party. I barely remember the neighborhood. I don't remember nothing.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

You had siblings, right?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I've got two stepbrothers.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Two stepbrothers that were older than you.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Both older, but how many years? You're asking me questions I don't even know. Because everybody's so jacked up in my family and disconnected that I haven't talked to these people in 25 years. My cousin found me on Facebook and started sending me a couple of pictures from when I was a kid. Those are the only pictures I have now.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Your stepbrothers, were you ever in the same house with them?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I lived with my brother Andy for a little while, but my mom.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's the first time I think I've ever heard his name.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Oh, really?

[Joanne (Caller)]

Yeah. Same here.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

No kidding? Yeah. I lived with Andy for a while here, but my mother gave up all three children at one point. She gave up my oldest brother to her first husband. She gave up the middle child to my dad's sister, and then she gave me up to my dad. Wow. Sounds jacked up. And remember, this woman is a family therapist in New York City right now. A successful, very successful family therapist. Good morning, Ryan. You're on Q100.

[The Bird Show Host]

Hey, Bert, how you doing?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

All right, man. What's going on? I don't mean to be a downer, man. I'm just.

[Bob Garfield]

Oh, no, no. That's what made me call you. I mean, I'm going through the same exact thing you just said about your wife. But, I mean, my wife works at night. She's a dancer, and she's been doing this for a couple years now. I've got my two Little girls, you know, that I keep every single night from the time I walk through the door when I get off work till the time they go to bed. And I've been doing this for quite a long time. And she just got hooked on these prescription pills. And like you said, she is not the same person I married. I mean, she went from this sweet, gorgeous woman to this absolutely hateful woman you can't ask a question to. This is the fourth time she's walked out the door and left me with these two little girls, regardless how many times I've tried to take her back. And I just cannot figure out what to do about this. I can't question her. I can't ask her anything about it. I mean, if you mention it, bring it up, it's like somebody's gonna attack you like a rabid dog.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah. I don't know how to. I can't give you any advice on it at all. I really can't because I don't think I handled it very well. So I wish I could say that there was some magic word to get her into therapy, but I don't have one. Stacy just figured out. I mean, I was always sort of hounding her. But the thing about my wife is this, is that she's just such a strong person that when she was telling me and I would bring up my concerns to her, she would tell me that she's not addicted. Like, she could give it up in a second. And I just know her personality. When she tells me that, I believe her. And then one day, she just decided, that's it. No more. She couldn't actually get her prescription. She was in a different state. So she was forced to. To go without the pills, and it motivated her just to stop altogether. So she went through three or four days of complete detoxing where she was shaking on a couch and she was miserable, and she got out of it, and she hasn't gone back since.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

The phrase, I can quit anytime I want to, that's the red flag phrase for anybody with any kind of addiction, you know?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I would say this, that if I had to do it all over again, if I could give any advice to anybody that's going through this with their wife or their husband, I would say get involved immediately. Don't be scared. It's gonna be ugly. They're gonna argue with you. They're gonna fight with you. But if I had to do it all over again, I would have manned up more about it. I would have said, you don't even realize what you're. Her doctors told her, her mom told her. I told her. But she's so damn strong and so damn proud. I thought, look, she's got a handle on everything. And I would have fought more. That's the only thing I would do differently. Hey, Carla, good morning. Your on Q100.

[Carla (Caller)]

My advice to Bird is don't go.

[Amber (Caller)]

Don't do it.

[Carla (Caller)]

I don't know how bad it was, but it's. There's a reason why you forgot things that you forgot.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, it's definitely yeah.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And I'm. I'm not one to run away from stuff like that. I mean, I am the way I am right now and I'm trying to make changes. And I think the only way you can do that is to be courageous about it. And this is something that I actually want to do now.

[Amber (Caller)]

I mean, it still jogs the memories

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

and stuff that's like causing you pain now. Yeah, I want that. You know, I want to go, I want to knock on the door, I want to go through it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I want to go around it.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I'm not scared to go through. I want to go through it now.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

It's putting a bandaid on a gunshot wound. You know, it's like, is to me is the only thing I can think of because it's not going to heal that wound and it's always going to be there. You just gotta. You gotta get in there, clean it out, and then it'll finally.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And I think the only way to close up, I think the only way to do that and stop moving and stop getting infected. And I really think the only way to do that is to attack it head on. And if I don't do it, then I'm gonna, I think, regret the opportunity to do it because I'm just not up there all that often. So I might as well go through it. And then, and then I'm supposed to go to a birthday party that night.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Oh, yay.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

That's the more interesting party though, part

[Mike (Co-host)]

of the whole thing.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Now, does your mom have to go

[Amber (Caller)]

with you or is it just you by yourself?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Just Stacy and I are gonna go by ourselves. So I'll let you guys know how it goes on Monday morning, the Bird Show.

[Tyler Redick]

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[Josh Spiegel]

Hey, I'm Josh Spiegel, host of the podcast Lunatic in the Newsroom. If you enjoy journalism that drifts into mild panic, wild overthinking, and a guaranteed nervous breakdown, Lunatic in the Newsroom is for you. It's news like you've never heard before. The only newsroom with a panic button. You'll laugh, you'll cry and gasp in horror as the show spirals completely out of control. It's not just news, it's emotionally unstable. Lunatic in the Newsroom. Listen Today this time of year, the

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[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Morning Amber.

[Amber (Caller)]

Hey, good morning.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

How are you today?

[Amber (Caller)]

I'm a little angry, but that's okay. Well, I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Well, first opinion, without hearing the entire story judging, I guess is that I just don't think best friend can date the ex husband in any circumstance at all. If you guys are truly best friends, one would think.

[Amber (Caller)]

But then I had discovered all this stuff and it really freaked me out. So I'm just trying to figure out how the all unfolded.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, Bert talked about best friend. So how long has your best friend been your best friend?

[Amber (Caller)]

Oh, we've been best friends since high school. In fact, she was in my wedding.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

All right, and then how long were you married to your husband?

[Amber (Caller)]

I think about six or seven years. Okay, here's the deal. We were living in Phoenix and about a year ago I got, you know, I was getting divorced. It was typical cliche, nasty divorce. As we were getting divorced, I, you know, I would obviously Go over to my best friend's house for be comforted, etc. Etc. And she gave me her login information to get into Facebook because I never had a Facebook page. And I thought it was interesting that even though he and I were still going to this nasty divorce, he was still a friend on her Facebook page. Does that make sense? It was like a little weird. So I eventually had moved to Atlanta, which is awesome, and I would still check up using her login page on my husband.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Okay.

[Mike (Co-host)]

You're looking at who he's dating and friends with and pictures and vacations, new ads and.

[Amber (Caller)]

Exactly.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Relationship status.

[Bob Garfield]

Yeah.

[Amber (Caller)]

And of course it's a little addicting

[Melissa (Co-host)]

and a little unhealthy. That's not so good.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

What? Facebook or just being on somebody else?

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Well, just following your ex husband's life, period. I mean, you see your ex husband for a reason.

[Amber (Caller)]

Right, right. But whatever. I had these suspicions always that he wasn't, you know, very truthful to me. And so it's interesting to see I've caught him in like a few little lies through even things I found on his Facebook page.

[Mike (Co-host)]

But he's your ex husband, so that's irrelevant.

[Amber (Caller)]

Yeah, but I'm talking about even things that had happened while we were married. Okay, the references. So about six months ago, my best friend asked me if I was still doing it. And I said no, not, of course not. But I still was using her Facebook page. So I'm scheduled to fly out tonight to go to Phoenix to see her. And I'm supposed to get in about 8:30. And just for fun, still using her Facebook page. And as I'm there checking his stuff out, an ichat pops up from hint.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So he thinks he's chatting with your best friend at this point.

[Amber (Caller)]

Yeah, because you're using her account and it pops up. Hey, what are you doing? And I could see some of the history of their messages back and forth. And one of them was confirming a date for tonight. Oh, and I land tonight. Like I'm supposed to land about 8:15. What she doesn't know is I changed my flight to land like 2:30. And I want to bust them on their date because it said where to meet and had XOXO and winks and smiley faces.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Hold on one second.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

What?

[Mike (Co-host)]

Didn't you hear?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Am I missing something now? You're going out there to visit your friend.

[Amber (Caller)]

I'm going out to see her.

[Mike (Co-host)]

So a chat popped up, confirming a date with your ex husband before you're supposed to land.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Yes.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

So she was gonna go out with her ex husband before she picks her up from the airport.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I got it. So.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

And so she changed her flight to get there early so that she could be there and then bus them during the their dinner.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Okay. All right.

[Amber (Caller)]

Never said anything. And once in a while I'll say

[Joanne (Caller)]

to her, I'm like, oh, have you seen Brandon lately?

[Amber (Caller)]

And, you know, and she'll be like, no, no, no, not at all. And he said, you dirt bag. And after what he did to you.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So no indication at all from her that they've had any interaction? Zero. And when you're looking at the history of these messages together, is it clear that they've been seeing each other and that this meeting tonight is really like a romantic date?

[Amber (Caller)]

It's crystal clear because it's not like, oh, this is interesting or whatever. Like, there's an email history in her inbox. Like, I went to her inbox. I can see how it started. To me, what that says is, like, when you first start dating someone, you keep all of their messages, like their voicemail messages, their emails. And she has everything she did the entire history from the time right after I left. Shortly after.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Here's what I'm trying to get at, though. I want specifics on what those instant messages and some of those emails said, because you've already proven that you're a little psycho when it comes to your ex husband anyway. So I'm wondering if there's anything in these emails or instant messages that might be innocent enough, but you're interpreting as an affair because you're just not thinking clearly because the players are who they

[Mike (Co-host)]

are, but they have a date tonight.

[Amber (Caller)]

No, they spent the holidays together.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Oh, okay.

[Amber (Caller)]

And because there was references where he wrote, it was nice meeting your family. And then there's another one that said, forget exactly how it was worded, but can we do it exactly what we did last night again tonight? Smiley face, heart, smiley face.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

So this is a relationship, both emotional and physical at this point.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

All right, so my question is, have you walked yourself through how this is all gonna go down when you get there and you bust them? Like, what you're gonna say, what you're gonna do afterwards and how you're gonna turn around and leave again?

[Mike (Co-host)]

Yeah, Well, I don't even.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

You need to rebook a flight, like, later tonight to come back home because you don't need to be stuck in Phoenix after this disaster happens and you're completely an emotional wreck, and then you're left, what, standing there, staying at your best friend's place.

[Amber (Caller)]

I'M not gonna go back to her place. I'm gonna get a hotel room.

[Joanne (Caller)]

I'll call.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

No, I agree with Jen. You gotta come back to Atlanta. I don't think you just sit there.

[Mike (Co-host)]

I don't even think you need to go. I think you just call your friend and go, hey, look, I know you have a date tonight and you're obviously busy, so I'm not gonna come visit. Click, save the ticket, go to some Florida beach or whatever.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

But you know how, like, sometimes we've talked about this on there, you need to see it with your own eyes?

[Cool Stuff Daily Host]

Yes.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

And, you know, they could deny, deny, deny, deny, but if you see it with your own eyes, then it's 100%.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

But you know that you see it with your own eyes. It's not gonna stop it. Your best friend is pretty much gone. I mean, I agree with Jennifer.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's already gone.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

It's your ex best friend and your ex husband.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Let these people go and cut them out of your life. After whatever confrontation you want to have with them or whatever discussion or see it with your own eyes or whatever, you just need the following plan. You know, do you give her back, like, a scrapbook of your friendship and be like, here you go. It's all yours. I don't want this anymore. Turn around, get in the cab, and go to the airport. Like you need a plan about it, an exit plan.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Good morning, Marcia. You're part of the Burt Show. Hi.

[Carla (Caller)]

I just want to share that after my divorce of 14 years, I consoled myself with my very, very, very, very dear friend. And she was very sweet and listened to all of my problems. And I did not know until much later was also consoling my ex husband. And they started dating, and they kept it a secret. The bottom line is it's none of your freaking business. These are grown adults, and they can do what they want. And all I can say is that people have different relationships. People work differently together. And after I found out, I told them, bless you both. If you can make this work, then bless you both.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

She's a bigger person to be able to forgive and let go like that.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I couldn't do that. That's.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I just.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

It's really, really amazing.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I know it. It sounds that way, but I just. I think people talk themselves into thinking they're that way. I think it's very difficult for a person to actually, actually do that.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

It's probably healthy. I mean, if you can do it, I'm sure it's very healthy for you to go that Was part of the past. I'm gonna cleanse. I'm gonna be the bigger person. But I think there are very few people that can actually do that.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Very few.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I have one really good friend of mine who is so forgiving. She would honestly be the only person I know that would actually be able to do that and let it go. And really truly in her heart be forgiving and truly want the best for them.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I don't admire that. I gotta be honest with you.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

I do. I do too. I do.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I do too.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I don't.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I think if it's me and I find myself in this situation, I'm doing exactly what you're doing. I gotta go see it with my own eyes. And then when I do see it, that's it. I sever both relationships. They never happen.

[Mike (Co-host)]

Even though you read about it clearly an exchange between the two of them, you still need to look at it.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

I think I'd have to see and I think most women would.

[Amber (Caller)]

Closure.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

By the way, I'm not a woman, Wendy, you're my best girlfriend. What an honor.

[Joanne (Caller)]

No, I think most women would.

[Amber (Caller)]

I mean it's the whole closure thing. I know when you're feeling so nice

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

to finally have closure about it.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

What's her name?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Her name is Amber.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

Hey Amber, are you listening to any of this? Is this like computing with you?

[Amber (Caller)]

It's not. I just am still seeing red right now because I'm so angry and I have got. I want her to look me in the eyes.

[Mike (Co-host)]

This is why women need to.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Well, I agree with Wendy. It's closure because you get mad enough to where you can walk away. Because for a lot of women it takes you going to the edge to be able to finally cut it loose. But I so agree with Jen about booking an exit flight. Cannot stay in Phoenix tonight.

[Melissa (Co-host)]

And do you have any close girlfriends who are your actual friends that can know your plan and know what you're doing or your mom maybe or like somebody and you need a go to person to call somebody in your life that, that you can depend on or just somebody should be on the phone

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

with somebody just to emotionally lean on after that because that's going to be a pretty strong night right there. Well, Amber, let's talk to you either tomorrow if you're back here or on Monday and find out if you actually went or you stayed or you saw it with your own eyes and how they all handled it. Okay.

[Amber (Caller)]

Oh, I'm definitely going. And I'm going to walk in. I just, I just, I need, I can't. I'm in shock, so.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Sorry.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Yeah. For whatever reason, sometimes we have people on here, and I don't believe they're gonna actually do what they tell us they're gonna do, so. You have the fire in your voice. I think it's gonna happen.

[Amber (Caller)]

All right, I'll definitely keep you guys posted.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

Thanks.

[Amber (Caller)]

But I like your exit strategy.

[Joanne (Caller)]

Like, have a plan.

[Amber (Caller)]

Because I didn't have a plan.

[Jennifer (Co-host)]

I'll fly up to Vegas.

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

There you go.

[Mike (Co-host)]

You know what Vegas is built for?

[Bert (The Bird Show Host)]

Situations. The vert show.

[Tyler Redick]

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