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Host (Jeff Burch)
Get it the Bird Show. Paula here needs your help. She's been lying for about a year and a half.
Jen
Yeah, she has told her soon to be fiance that she has gone through the same thing that he has. He had a former fiance who cheated on him and they broke up. Her friend in order to get them together. Said she'd gone through the same experience. Well, her friend's fault went along with that story and has been going along with it ever since. Well, now she's realizing this is a bigger deal to him than it ever was to her and she's wondering, should she come clean?
Host (Jeff Burch)
So your. Your advice for her? Does she come clean? Does she just let it go? She can't just let it go. It's going to come up. Yeah, like Jen said, parents are going to be around. It's going to come up.
Emily
M. Details.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Here is Marion. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.
Melissa
Good morning. Hello everyone. Listen, her whole relationship is based on a lie. If she wants to keep this guy, she has got to come clean with him. I feel like, I mean, I mean, I mean, you lied to this guy to get with him. She should have come clean right away. As soon as they started hitting it off, she should have been honest with them. I think that she is just as bad as the girl who cheated on him because their relationship's not real. She's lived with this guilt the whole time and she needs to come clean if she wants to keep them.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Ouch. I mean, that's kind of.
Melissa
Sorry. That's the plain truth.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Okay, I'm not gonna argue with you because you sound right.
Melissa
Sound right. Thank you.
Emily
She's a person who would use your middle name if she knew it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Just the way she said listen. Yes, good morning, Michelle. You're on Q100. Hi.
Paula
Hey, guys.
Melissa
I feel bad for her. I don't condone what she did, and I know when she comes clean, it's gon correct her relationship. But that is a total guy move. The total guy move on her part.
Emily
It is.
Melissa
Oh, yeah.
Emily
That is something a dude would do where, like, in the beginning he says,
Melissa
you know, oh, yeah, maybe I know
Host (Jeff Burch)
how you feel saying anything you can to hook up.
Emily
Yes.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Because, you know, she's only gonna be around three weeks.
Tracy Kinney
Big deal.
Jen
Your nationality, that's completely not yours. Like, oh, yeah, I'm from Germany, too. Yeah. Deep roots in Germany. And then you meet, like, she comes to meet your family, and they're like, Japanese.
Emily
Who was it who told the story about the guy who was the hot girl had cats, but he was deathly allergic to cats and he told her he liked cats. Yeah, he's like, I love him, but that would just, like, totally juice up my Claritin. Before I went over to his house and he was awake for, like, four days.
Jen
It's a little different than being engaged before.
Emily
Bad details.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Paula, you had how many times. If you were Counting back now, 18 months. How many times did it come up in conversation where you just could have put a stop to it and say, look, look, look, look, look, look. Let's just. Let's set the record straight right now.
Paula
I would say that during the first, like, four months or so, it was like something that we talked about a lot.
Tracy Kinney
You talked about a lot.
Paula
But then over the past year, it hasn't come up at all. So it was really a beginning of the relationship thing that went away.
Josh
It just depends how detailed you got in those conversations and what you, like, you mapped out.
Paula
Well, you know, I always tried to. I always tried to make it like my situation wasn't as bad as his. Like, oh, you know, like, your. Your wedding was only, you know, a month away. Like, we broke up a few months before my wedding. Like. Like, it made, like, poke for him more.
Josh
That makes it even worse.
Host (Jeff Burch)
He calls up to check in with her, and she's like, oh, you know what? Today's just a bad day. Some days are good, some days are bad. Something like this can last with you forever.
Joe
Oh, man.
Host (Jeff Burch)
All right, so Karen here, I think, is going to tell you that, you know, she. She just thinks you should let it go.
Jen
What?
Host (Jeff Burch)
Hey, Karen.
Emily
Good morning.
Melissa
Good morning.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Hi.
Caller (Michelle)
Hi.
Melissa
How are you?
Host (Jeff Burch)
Okay, thank you.
Melissa
Good. Yes. I think that her relationship has gone to the point now she should probably just let it go. I'm sure she can cover some kind of way. Especially since she tried to downplay it. I mean, she could just kind of tell her family, you know, to say it was something, you know, a quick engagement, and he broke my heart and just let it go.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You can't ask your family to engage in your lie.
Emily
Cause there's always gonna be one family member who doesn't like you as much as you think they do and will either refuse to go along with it or intentionally tank it, or it's just like your old, crazy, craziest, batcrap aunt. It's like, why are you saying that it's not true. You're just trying to get yourself hated.
Host (Jeff Burch)
And it goes against every parental lesson they ever taught you. Don't lie. You gotta tell the truth. So if you go back to your parents and you say, you gotta help me with a lie, it doesn't matter if you're 12 or 28 or whatever. Good morning, Brittany. You're on Q100.
Caller (Michelle)
Hey, guys, I think you should really
Melissa
help her out because this is a pretty big lie. I'm like, it's gone on way too long and I think she needs your help on it.
Emily
What do you mean you think Bird should.
Melissa
You guys should call him and have her on the other line and she come out to him and you guys try to downplay it a little bit. Like, she loves you so much. She came on the radio and she wanted our advice and she really loves you.
Emily
I think Bert should.
Joe
What the hell's wrong with you should play the role.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You can stop right here. I love the way Jeff, for seven years has volunteered me for the most embarrassing and difficult assignment.
Emily
No, I think you should just be out somewhere she's going to be and play the role of the ex fiance. And you guys get into it in public where she says, I'm never even going to acknowledge your existence again. It's like it never happened. And then she lives by that code.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Hey, good morning, David. You're on Q100.
David
Hey, thanks for having me. Look, she needs to keep up the lie, unfortunately, but she needs to tell her boyfriend, look, you know, last time you're talking to your friends and, you know, do you mind not bringing that up anymore? It hurts too much and, you know, just as concentrate on the future. And that's the way to handle it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You are not representing guys very well right now.
David
Yeah, hey, I'm trying to help her out, man.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So she needs to go to him and go, look, this is part of our past. I never want to Talk about it ever again. Because it still has, like, this little twinge of pain. So we can never talk about it ever again?
David
Yes. Look, honey, I know you're telling your friends that, you know, this happened, whatever, but do me a favor. It hurts too much. Let's not bring this up anymore.
Emily
But you have to allow him to still talk about his experience. Because if it doesn't, you know, if he doesn't feel the same way, watch him.
Host (Jeff Burch)
He's going to, like, put it into his wedding speech. I just want to say to everybody here right now that the past is in front of everybody. The past is the past.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Well, what if they go to, like, counseling?
Joe
She was engaged. I was engaged. And now we're finally at the wedding that we were meant to be at.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Half the people there are going to be going. What are you talking about? You gotta come clean. There is no other option.
Jen
She has to be like. My family is still very sensitive. My mom cries about it every time
Bus Driver
you bring it up.
Jen
So don't ever tell my mom.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Paula, there is no option except coming clean with this guy. There is zero wiggle room here. You gotta say something with your friend.
Paula
With my. You think my friend and I should do it together?
Joe
Oh, yes.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
This is her boyfriend.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So what? This is her boyfriend for 18 months.
Tracy Kinney
It's always nice to have a partner in crime. A little comfort.
Paula
Yeah.
Joe
Bring your friend along.
Paula
I gotta be honest. From listening to all of the advice, it doesn't seem like any of it's gonna make sense unless I just, you know, tell the truth.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You got to do it immediately. Especially if, you know this engagement. He's about to pop the question to you. You got to get this done now.
Emily
I think you're overthinking it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You're not going to be happy. But I don't think it's a deal breaker. Do you guys think it's a deal breaker?
Joe
At first, I didn't think so, but I'm just. I'm confused about how much conversation she had about it. The detail that she just.
Emily
He is gonna feel betrayed twice.
Joe
She said four months is how long they talked about it and she gave details.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Jen, you're saying deal breaker?
Jen
I think it is. I mean, I don't think she can go on without telling the truth because I think eventually it'll come out and it'll hurt worse later. But I think he's gonna have a real issue.
Joe
She played a long Way too much.
Emily
Yeah, it's betrayal twice. Are you really good in bed?
Joe
Who's gonna say no? Who's gonna say no
Paula
is like, what if we're married for 20 years and we have this amazing marriage and, like, we have kids and then we're grandparents, and then like, one day, you know, when we're 70, I'm just like, oh, by the way, you know, remember when
Emily
I wouldn't wait till then.
Paula
By that time, it really won't matter.
Emily
You won't be as good. As good in bed at 70 as you are now. So I would do it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You gotta tell him something. Can we check back with you next week to find out how you handle this whole thing?
Paula
Yeah, of course.
Host (Jeff Burch)
How quickly. I mean, is this engagement, do you think, like, it's gonna happen tomorrow, this weekend? Next week?
Paula
Oh, no, I'm kind of thinking, like, holiday season. Like, I'm thinking probably around, like, Christmas time.
Emily
Okay.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Don't give yourself too much time.
Josh
No.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Because you won't do it. The more you think about it, the more you won't do it.
Joe (Mechanic)
Yeah.
Paula
Yeah.
Host (Jeff Burch)
All right, Paula, keep us posted. All right.
Paula
All right, thank you, guys.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Bye. Bye. Get it. The Birch show.
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Host (Jeff Burch)
Listen, it's the vert show, so we're gonna get into some real. This is pretty brave stuff here. This is really, really bold stuff. Alison and her daughter very Just about everything, as your husband was explaining to me Saturday night. You guys really just talk about it
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
all, all of it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So when sex came up, this was. You are not scared about it?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Well, you know, we've been talking, you know, as open as, I mean, as young as Hayden's age. You know, I heard you make that comment. Yeah, I mean, they come home with questions, you know, and they start very innocently. And, you know, I've, I read, went and read the expert advice about how to talk to your kid. Like I have my own. And then I read Dr. Laura Berman, and her advice is exactly my advice, which I was, like, astounded. I was thrilled. I was like, oh, my God. And the whole point is to start an open dialogue when they're young.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Can I take from this that, you know, it's time to have the conversation with your child when they come to you about it first?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah, well, you know, part of it, like, my daughter never put the pieces together. Like, she started off, you know, when she was like, you know, I gave that, well, you have a vagina and your brother has a penis and mommy this. But there was no, how does the baby get made? Like it was, okay, there's sperm, okay, there's eggs, there's a baby, the mommy carries it. But it wasn't. How does the sperm get in the mm? So at one point, when she was about 10, you know, like going into fifth grade, I knew she was going to middle school. I had to sit her down and go, so have you given much thought as to how that happens?
Host (Jeff Burch)
So she never brought it up. You initiated the first conversation.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Not the very first one. I mean, they start talking and they start hearing about it. You know the question, My mother's an elementary school teacher, and what she said to me was, you always answer their questions. And that's one of the things you'll hear on the tape is me saying, what are your questions? Not I'm just going and telling you how it is, because she's not. My daughter is innocent. She's so which when you hear these questions, you're not going to believe it, but there's this point on the tape where it shows how innocent she really is. But they're hearing all of this stuff. You know, one of the Internet sites, just to let you know, there's a kids website that's called the Dollhouse. And then there's. And it's spelled D O L L Z because D O L L H O S E is a porn site. So you got seven and eight Year olds going to the doll's house and hello. And that's young. Like that was when they were 8. And I had to explain, yeah, there's naked people on the Internet and you, if you see that, don't go there. Yeah, yeah. That's another conversation with my son. You know that I have a 16 year old son as well. So, you know, that's a whole other different set of conversations than you have with your daughter. And you know, why is that? Because, you know, mothers and daughters have a different relate. Girls are much different about talking about sex. And you know, I leave a lot of the conversation with my son up to my husband and you know, my husband and then the father of my kids. So I have a step. I have a step parent situation in my home.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Okay.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah. So, you know, the men are empowering my son because it is uncomfortable to talk to your opposite. But then again, you know, you're gonna hear on the tape, my son is able to say the word vagina at the dinner table. You know, so, you know, I mean, if y' all didn't know this, you know, I mean, Melissa and Jen know because that's where we met. But you know, I'm Eve Ensler of the vaginalogues, Vagina Monologues makeup artist. Okay. So, you know, to be able to say the word vagina, I mean, I probably wasn't until I was way. I mean, probably till I saw the Vagina Monologues. Could I actually like leave the. Leave the place going. Vagina, vagina, vagina. Okay, I can say it.
Joe
You know, that's one of the points of the Vagina Monologues is for women to not be so, I don't know, protective or afraid to say it.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Afraid. Like it's like this taboo thing and you know, and part of it is, is that our genitals are on our inside. We're not empowered to understand our bodies. I started doing some statistics about orgasm, which is the first thing that she talks about on the tape. So when you play it, it's like, it's because I didn't even know girls could have orgasms until I was in college. And my like told me about the nuts and bolts. But you forgot one important thing. Shoot.
Host (Jeff Burch)
There's some married listening. Married women listening right now.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
It's insane. Like 35% of women can't have an orgasm.
Host (Jeff Burch)
35%.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Look at the actual. I mean, my husband's like, don't look
Jen
at all the statistics, blah, blah, blah.
Host (Jeff Burch)
But the statistics, yeah, your husband was prepared, man. I mean, he sent us like a bio this morning. He sent you with a book. He is ready.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
He's awesome. 43% of American women are either non orgasmic or will be non orgasmic for a significant period of their lives.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Wow.
Melissa
Wow.
Joe
Because I just.
Jen
43%, because I don't.
Joe
I think a lot of women don't know how to achieve that for themselves and they don't know how to do that.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And that's the point. And that was the point of Dr. Dr. Lorber. That's the point of. What I'm saying is that if there's so much mystery around this, if that's how many women don't have an orgasm themselves, how are you going to talk to your kid about it? You need to know your own body.
Emily
I think you look at the other side of it. I mean, that 57% of women are having a great time.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
No, they're not. No, they're not. The 57%. Only 30% of them can even. Can only. What is it? It's. Out of 100, only 17 can orgasm during intercourse. And they think there's something wrong with that that they can't. Like there's not enough information about. Hey, the part that gives you pleasure is not attached to your vagina, people. And that's not even like, That's. If you don't. I didn't know what that was, what a clitoris was like. What was that? Oh, that's what that is. I mean, that was exactly what my daughter said to me when I was like. And when we talked about your vagina and this is your clutter and what's that for? Oh, it's only attached to every nerve ending on your body.
Host (Jeff Burch)
You use all those words. Everything with her.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Everything.
Host (Jeff Burch)
At ten.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Listen to the. No, I think it's time for the tape because you're gonna. It's. It's really. And you know, and I just want
Joe
to say you're gonna teach a lot of adult women a lot of things too.
Caller (Michelle)
Yes.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
How I've gone from makeup artists to sex therapist.
Joe
Here is, you know, it's called Destiny.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah. You know, you know, just as a background, everybody, you know, I am a makeup artist, but also I have a sociology degree. And I was fascinated once I took my first women's studies class that I had had sex as much as I had had up to that. Not knowing that, you know, about having an orgasm, that I went on to take every sex class I could possibly take in college. So I've always been fascinated by the study of sex. Like, I've just always been fascinated by it. So here we go.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Jeff is going to play the part of the FCC today, so if there's anything that he deems would get us in trouble. He's hitting delay.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay, very good.
Host (Jeff Burch)
And there are some parts of the audio that we had to beep out. My fear was that if we beeped out too much, it sort of takes away from what I want to learn today. You know, seriously, like, this is my blueprint at this point.
Emily
So is this different than what the last that I heard?
Host (Jeff Burch)
No, I think Josh beeped out everything that Rob asked him to beep out.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And we have the names bleeped out, too, of a couple of the girls.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Okay.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay.
Host (Jeff Burch)
All right, so. And once again, if you're listening to this with kids in the car, I would suggest, you know, if you haven't had the talk, the birds and the bees talk, then this is probably not the time. Or maybe it is. I don't know.
Jen
Allison and her daughter and her daughter came to her with some questions, but just realized that the history with them. They've been talking about this for seven years already.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah. Yeah. A long time. I mean, this is not. This is not a conversation that happened one time. This is involvement over with her comfortableness of being able to come to me, which is the whole point is that you want to be the source of information for your kid, period.
Host (Jeff Burch)
And we're gonna run these in clips rather than listen to the whole thing. We're running in clips, and you can just go ahead and comment as the conversation went on.
Child (Hayden)
Okay, well, you said some, like, you didn't explain to me well what a girl orgasm is. Is it just for, like, pleasure?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yes.
Child (Hayden)
That's not fair to the guy.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
No, it's not. Because they only can have one orgasm, and we can have, like, lots and lots and lots and then keep going and stuff. Like, they don't wait until they're done, usually.
Child (Hayden)
Why? Because they're too weak.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Because they're worn out. Because they just, like, they just had millions of potential babies. One of most potential babies. This just shows how innocent she is. Now you got it. It's like, oh, naive, you know, like. And she's finally. I mean, I think we can all remember those times when, you know, we're watching a movie and finally the joke that you heard as a kid transforms into the joke as an adult. Like in Click. You know, she's watched that movie a hundred times and never got the part where he comes in 30 seconds and he's supposed to, you know, the rest
Emily
of the whole movie can't use that word.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay, you can say orgasm, but you can say orgasm. Okay.
Jen
Okay.
Host (Jeff Burch)
We're walking a really, really, really tight line here.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Giving me the rules, you know, to what I can say and not say. That will help. Okay, good.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Okay, so we can't say that.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
One can't say that.
Joe
But I want to say in that first clip, I mean, just the conversation you had, there was education for so many. Because that discovery about the number of women's ability and men's, I didn't figure that out until much older. There's no way I knew that as a teenager.
Jen
No, I think it is fascinating that she's like, wait, mom, that's the joke in that movie. Like that's where she's learning this from. It's the movies.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So she won't ask you it immediately during the movie. It'll be like a recall situation, a couple of months or, or not even.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
I mean, it'll happen inside of a conversation later like she did there. We're talking about the difference between men and women and men and women's orgasms, which are totally different.
Emily
Sure. Wait till Hayden goes and watches up as a grown up.
Joe
Oh, my God. Don't mess with Disney. Stop.
Host (Jeff Burch)
There's gotta be another movie you can play with. All right, that's a sweet. Here's more with Allison and her 14 year old daughter.
Child (Hayden)
It was funny. Like there's this girl at her school
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
that just kept screaming all the time, orgasm. And then she texted saying, I'm orgasming, I'm orgasming. And then the kid says, where?
Child (Hayden)
You don't get what she's talking about, do you? He's like, no, no.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Because most boys don't even know that girl.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Explain that up to that point.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay, so they're texting, you know, are you orgasming?
Host (Jeff Burch)
To each other?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yes.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Just as a joke.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah, as a joke. Are you orgasming? Are you orgasming? Are you orgasming? And then the kid's like, where? And it was like, you know, so if you're saying I'm blanking, I'm blanking. Well, where are you blanking?
Host (Jeff Burch)
Like, are they talking about in a classroom?
Joe
Yeah.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And they're texting backs and forth. And in fact, oh my God, kids are texting. That's just a big old joke. Sexting. That's what the doctor calls it. Is the Dr. Berman from who's the Expert on the Oprah show says it's called sexting? I didn't even know that Word. Until before I was like, oh, my God. God. It's like sexting. Like, wow.
David
Wow.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So here's where I'm confused. Are they having sex talk with each other or are they just joking about it?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Comes. That comes on where? Later, where they're talking back and forth about. I'm like, well, where do you learn this from? She goes, oh, they learn from each other. We learn from each other. And I'm like, are there any parents? Because. Oh, no. None of the kids talk to her kids. I said, are you the expert? And she's like, yeah, well, kind. Everybody's coming to me. I'm like, oh, wow. Oh. And I know all these girls. I didn't learn that girls couldn't. I didn't learn that girls could have orgasms until I was in college.
Child (Hayden)
But seriously, like In Friday the 13th, some people, like, asked, what does she mean? Because when two of them were having sex and stuff, and they both were like, I'm like, I'm close to him and stuff like that. She didn't know what that meant, right?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And I'm like, yeah, well, I didn't know what it meant either.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So they'll ask each other. They'll see the movie, then they'll come to school and they'll ask each other.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
That was at a sleepover.
Joe
Well, that's like. That's like I was in fifth or sixth grade and we were reading Judy Blume Forever. I don't know. Absolutely that, you know. And that topic was in the book. And I remember what it was. I don't know what we're talking about.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
My first lover. Did you blank? I looked at him. I was like, I guess so. Actually, I think I say that to her. I was like, I had no idea. It's. I think it's on there coming up.
Host (Jeff Burch)
I'm not sure which one because I'm sort of moving all around here.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
We'll find it or not.
Host (Jeff Burch)
This is more the conversation about that kids have at school about sex.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Will you talk about it yet? No, I don't think nobody. Kids talk about it usually, like, only
Child (Hayden)
I don't ask them if they talk about that crap with their parents.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Well, does anybody just talk about it? I mean, do you make jokes about it now?
Child (Hayden)
Yeah, of course we do.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Does anybody know what they're talking about?
Child (Hayden)
Some of them.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
I mean, they make jokes about all of it. But do they know what it means? Yes.
Child (Hayden)
Yeah, they do. Yeah, of course they do. They probably. They don't learn it from their parents. They learn it from their friends.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So. So the message there is loud and clear.
Joe
Yeah.
Host (Jeff Burch)
If parents aren't talking to the kids, they're learning. The kids don't have any idea what they're talking about yet. They're educating each other.
Joe
Right, right, right.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Yeah.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah. Some of these statistics, you know, are saying that, you know, only 4. Only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are mostly influenced by their mothers.
Joe
4%.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Read that one more time.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Only 4% of girls say their beliefs about sex are mostly influenced by their mothers.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Wow. Then where are they getting the biggest influence from?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
From their friends.
Joe
From their friends. Yeah.
Host (Jeff Burch)
4%.
Emily
In the birch home.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And where are the. Yeah, in the Birch home. And where. But the question is, is then where are they getting this information? Everybody. The Internet.
Jen
And it sounds like to me, from the conversation with your daughter, pop culture.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yep.
Josh
Movies.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Movies. TV shows.
Jen
Like the cw. Who's gonna have the threesome on Gossip Girl? So do they even know what a threesome is?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah.
Jen
Oh, yeah, they do.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah.
Jen
She knows what that means.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The first time I had sex, first time I had sex, the guy asked me if I was gonna. If I was gonna. I had no idea what he meant.
Child (Hayden)
Did he have to tell you?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
No, I just kind of pretended like I knew what he was talking about. Seriously? Never told me. I didn't know until I was in college and then I was in my class and I went. Oh, well, you kind of left out the important part, that girls don't necessarily have orgasms while they're having intercourse.
Child (Hayden)
Oh,
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
wow. And if you don't, you had to take a class on that. Yeah, I took a great class.
Host (Jeff Burch)
If you're just checking us out this morning.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Class on that.
Jen
She's like, fascinating.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Allison here recorded one of the conversations that she had with her 14 year old daughter about sex. And this is the result of it. Here is there. Has she ever come to you with something that is so graphic that you couldn't answer?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Not that I couldn't answer. You know, one of the things that Dr. Berman says is that when they come to you, you have to be as least reactive as possible. That if you hesitate for a moment, they're not gonna come to you again.
Host (Jeff Burch)
What was the subject matter?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, it was about. I don't know. How do I say?
Jen
How do I say? Just write it down.
Melissa
Okay.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Every time you open your mo, I'm
Jen
having a panic attack.
Joe
And while she's writing that the SEC
Host (Jeff Burch)
is not nearly as liberal as I am.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
While she's writing that I'm Gonna, I'm doing my best because I remember in
Joe
that Judy Bloom forever that I was talking about that Millie Pete, who's much older than me, my friend. And I did not know what some of these passages meant in that book. And I remember us reading mom the passages in the book. And I remember being relieved when she didn't react when she just flat out as matter of factly. Now I would love to go back to her now and talk about the panic she. But we were in fifth and sixth grade talking about these adult teenagers in this book having sex and everything about it. And I remember these matter of factness that my mother had in explaining or talking or saying, it's okay that you read that and feel free to come and ask me any more questions. The sense of relief I will always remember. And I never felt a block in asking my family questions, her or my older sister from then on, which I think was a lot safer for me than it would have been if I had gone to ask myself. 12 year old, you know, I'm only 10. So let me ask a 12 or 13 year old about what this means and they may try to show me what that meant, you know.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah, yeah. So one of the main things that she said is it's. Yeah, you can't say that, you know. Yeah, I can't say that. So oral sex where the male is the recipient.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Gotcha.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay.
Host (Jeff Burch)
And how old was she when she asked this?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, she was just a couple months ago.
Host (Jeff Burch)
So that's 14 years old.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah, yeah. And that was. But she was so concerned about what that was like. Okay, what is that? What is that?
Host (Jeff Burch)
Did she use the initials for it when she came home?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, no, it was a. It was the actual slang word for it. Slang word for it.
Jen
Okay, so she had heard about it from her friends. She immediately comes home to ask her mom about it, which I don't think a lot of girls would do. I don't think I would have at that age.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And she. And she gets so flustered, like, you'll hear. And I'm like, what is that? And then when I tell her, she's like, oh my God, it's disgusting. I'm never doing that. Oh my God, how do people do that? And I'm like, well, I guess you'll find out, you know, I mean, apparently it feels really good.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Here's Jared. Good morning. You're on Q100.
David
Good morning, Berto.
Caller (Michelle)
Good morning.
Host (Jeff Burch)
How are you?
David
Wonderful. I had a comment, something I wanted to add. The male orgasm is one in its own. Because a lot of times men think that an orgasm and the act of ejaculating are one in the same, and actually they're not. A male can have multiple orgasms without ejaculating.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Isn't that the whole tantra thing? Tantric thing?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah, it's a tantra. You know, I'd say that if I'm
Emily
interested in hearing you're saving tantric sex till 15.
Host (Jeff Burch)
That's the advanced course.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
That is the advanced course.
Tracy Kinney
I think so.
Emily
Hey, no tantric sex till you have your driver's permit, young lady.
Jen
I think some of the fears from parents in talking to their kids about it and being open about it is that it gives them permission to go do it.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah.
Jen
So what would you say to a parent who said, well, I don't want to talk about that with my kids because if I tell them what that slang word means, then they're gonna go do it.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Okay. It's the main thing that I'm gonna say over and over is information is not permission. Information is not permission.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Do you say that to her?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Absolutely. That is. And she knows that. And she. She is so empowered. I. We were actually up last night. I was so. I wish I had the recorder last night, you guys. I gotta have one now, because, one. She's totally into it. And she's also agreed. She thinks it's so important. You know, we ended up talking till midnight last night about all this because I was very concerned about revealing my identity. I was very concerned about people knowing that what she knows in these conversations, because that could be. I mean, if I. I don't know if I would have been that comfortable going, hey, I know all about oral sex, and I know all about all this stuff in front of other boys. Like, what would they think of me that I knew all that stuff? And she's just like, oh, no, I'm. You know, I'm totally empowered.
Tracy Kinney
She's a great.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
She want her on. She's willing to come and talk about it.
Joe
Is that right?
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, yeah.
Tracy Kinney
Okay.
Joe
And I wonder if more information keeps them from wanting to go find out.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
She now isn't afraid. Like, she's not afraid. And, you know, I just want to say. I want to say this one thing, you know, that Eve, a quote that Eve has. And if you don't know this, Eve Ensler has a play, a new play coming out that's called I Am an Emotional. I Am an Emotional the Secret Life of Girls. And it's actually gonna be a V Day movement for teens and it talks about a lot of these unspoken things with girls. And I've gotten to read the whole thing. It's just so I cried. I had my own emotional reaction to that because I had a very emotional, you know, teenager. But one of the things that she says is, is that the whole, you know, teaching your kid abstinence, like, oh, don't do it. Oh, don't do it. You know, it says, there's no evidence that abstinence only education delays teen sexual activity. Recent research shows that abstinence only strategies may deter contraceptive use among sexually active teens, increasing their risk of unintended pregnancy and STDs. Six in 10 teens have sex before they leave high school. And 730,000 teenage girls will get pregnant this year.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Wow. That's astonishing. All right, we'll take some of your calls. People obviously want to talk about how they found out about it. The myth that they thought when they were younger and once they got an education, realized, okay, everything I knew when I was younger was wrong. You're on the Birch Show.
Emily
The Birch Show. The reporter we had, and it was Wendy Saltzman from CBS Atlanta who was in here yesterday, and she told us about this report that they were gonna air last night where they hid these tiny little cameras in cars. And the cars were healthy, fine, and took them into different garages and mechanics and, you know, like quick oil change places and said, can you take a look at this and tell me what it needs?
Joe
Well, actually, it wasn't. She was going in. They said, we just need an oil change.
Emily
Right.
Joe
And they wanted to see what the mechanic was going to come back with. Yeah. Because the car one didn't need an oil change and didn't need anything. And they wanted to see what the mechanics were going to come back with and what they were going to try to sell them and whether you can trust your mechanic or not.
Emily
We have to pick up Joe on the voice disguiser. Joe is a mechanic. And before we play this audio. I haven't heard the audio yet. Josh has heard the CBS Atlanta audio from last night and says it's pretty interesting and a little bit disturbing if you have to take your car in for work. Joe is a mechanic. Hey, Joe.
Joe (Mechanic)
Hey, how's it going, Burt?
Joe
Joe, good.
Emily
You're in the voice disguiser.
Joe (Mechanic)
Okay, good. I just had a comment where for a well known mechanic shop and our owner says there's always three things wrong with a car, whether there is or not. You just have to find it and sell it.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Really?
Jen
Always three things. So what's the most typical three things that you would say.
Emily
What's an easy one?
Joe (Mechanic)
An easy one is windshield wipers, brakes, coolant flush.
Emily
So you will. Even if somebody's wipers are perfectly fine or could just be made good with just being, you know, wiped off, you'll say, well, you got to replace your wipers, because that's your boss's mandate.
Joe (Mechanic)
Yeah, yeah. Even if they're fine brakes, too? Well, if you're getting four tires, they always tell you to try to sell brakes.
Joe
Yeah. Because, I mean, we talked about this yesterday. Most people don't know even how their car works. You know, they know you put the key in the ignition, and that's all you do. And so somebody said that my coolant needs flushing. I'll be like, oh, really? Okay. You know, sure.
Emily
Do you have.
Joe
Charge me.
Emily
Do you have either something that you've done or something that you've witnessed? What would be the biggest discrepancy? Like somebody coming into the garage for a $40 service. Whatever. Whatever needs to be done, and they walked out spending thousands. Have you witnessed anything that significant?
Joe (Mechanic)
Well, I've witnessed someone coming in for a 1999 oil change and leaving with about $800 worth of ammunition. Service and radiator flushes, brakes.
Josh
And that was all. Yeah, unneeded.
Joe (Mechanic)
Yeah, unneeded.
Joe
Wow, that's awesome.
Joe (Mechanic)
See, the way the mechanics work is it doesn't show up because they said they get paid by the hour, but whatever mechanic sells the most service parts, they get bonuses.
Josh
Do you not feel bad for doing that to somebody?
Joe (Mechanic)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to keep a job.
Jen
If you don't do that, will you be fired?
Joe (Mechanic)
Oh, yeah. If you don't put up numbers, you lose your job.
Emily
Wow. Thanks for the call, Joe.
Joe
Wow. So you get a commission on the services you sell.
Emily
Hey, Emily. Welcome to the show.
Caller (Michelle)
Yeah, I went to car mechanic on Lenox road about a month and a half ago for a routine oil change. Was told that I needed to replace all four tires, which I had just replaced a month before. Was told I needed a complete brake system for $3,000, which had been done six months before. Was told I needed a coolant and radiator flush. And the kicker was I was told I needed to replace my front and back windshield wipers, which then I started to laugh at the guy because I
Melissa
don't have back windshield wipers.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, my God.
Emily
That's funny.
Caller (Michelle)
And There was about 10 people in the waiting room, and I said to the guy, you know, you would have gotten any Girl who walked in the door today with all that until you told her she needed back windshield wipers, and then you just lost the sale.
Josh
So did you tell all the people in the waiting room?
Caller (Michelle)
I said it in front of all them. One guy stood up and started clapping for me.
Joe
Good for you.
Emily
Random applause is always good. So this is. These are some clips from CBS Atlanta last night. This is Wendy's report. So, Wendy, we'll just. I haven't heard these yet, so let's just play them in order. The first one is 52 Express Lube.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
CBS Atlanta News took this car to be inspected by our station mechanic at WT Standor. Then we rigged the car with three hidden cameras before we put it back on the road. We mounted one here in the the front one here underneath the bumper in back. The final one was hidden here in the hood up front. Our producers then took the car into 10 repair shops to get an oil change.
Weight Watchers Advertiser
What's really necessary today?
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
And we were upsold at five of the ten stores we visited.
Caller (Alex)
Everything is necessary.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
At Express Lubon Ponce, we were sold an air filter power steering flush and a coolant flush that our mechanic said we we didn't need. And a rear differential service that express lube said was needed based on mileage. The differential is the set of gears that transfers the power from the transmission to the tires. The total bill was $275.
Joe (Mechanic)
So actually, technically, I'm trying to save
Emily
you as much money as I can.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Wow.
Emily
They can upsell you to, like, 400 bucks and then chop $100 off it and make it seem like you're getting a great deal. Number 53.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
Our next stop, Express lube and Dunwoody. They sold us a rear and front differential and a transfer case.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Service fluids need to be changed out.
Melissa
Okay.
Joe (Mechanic)
Drained.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
And they should have been able to inspect the rear differential fluid to see that it was clean. We had just had it changed at their Atlanta store the day before, and they never did some of the work they charged us for. Our cameras showed they never flushed the rear differential. All the technician did was fill it with more fluid until it overflowed. And in the first.
Emily
It just looks dirty.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
Our hidden cameras and an inspection by our mechanic showed express lube never flushed it. They left dirty fluid in the front differential. Our total charge was $135.
David
The.
Joe
You know, it's funny, that just reminds me that Katie had an experience one time where she had gone to get service, and then when she went, she went to a separate place to get the next service.
Emily
Right.
Joe
And they explained to her that the past service had not been done.
Emily
You know, so, like, she went for an oil change, and they're like, this is.
Joe
Yeah, things look much worse than they should, you know, based on the mileage you say you've put on the. On these fluids. And so. Yeah, and I totally forgot about that again.
Emily
I gotta get.
David
Hey, David Davis.
Emily
Yes, we're gonna. What's your name?
David
Davis.
Emily
D, A, V, I, S. Oh, Davis. Hang on the line. Okay, don't hang up because I want to get to your call, but we're gonna play a couple more clips.
David
All right?
Caller (Alex)
All right.
Emily
I'm assuming you're a mechanic, right? All right, hold on. The jiffy lube indicator.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
At Jiffy lube indicator, we were again sold a rear differential service as well as a transmission service and a radiator fluid exchange. And our mechanic's advice, well, that's where it looks new.
Caller (Alex)
And then obviously, we don't need services.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
Remember, our fluid was clean and had already been serviced twice. And again, like, express lube, they didn't do a flush like they said they would. They just added more fluid and charged us for work that was never done back at our mechanic.
Tracy Kinney
So this was an upsell.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah, it was upsell.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
The mechanic could have also inspected the coolant, which was flush the day before, but they upsold us on that service, too, for another $89.
Emily
This. This is not going well.
Josh
No way for.
Emily
For these guys would you even know going in. Like, I. I don't know what the difference.
Joe
I know that's. And that's why they're able to do it is because nobody knows. I don't know my car. I don't know what it does. And so I think. I mean. And they take full advantage of knowing that everybody's ignorant, that they come in.
Jen
I wonder, how do you protect yourself, you know, except for going to mechanic school yourself?
Emily
I remember. Or finding, like she suggested yesterday, you just find one person that you like.
Joe
But how do you find them? And not without putting cameras on your own car and seeing what they're doing. You know,
Emily
I remember when I was a kid, like, my dad used to change his own oil. Like, he was able to fix things. But I think what. What happened was one car service got less expensive, you know, Like, I think it doesn't cost as much to take you.
Joe
I think cars are more complicated than the car.
Emily
And cars have computers and this and that. And I have clueless.
Josh
Well, it seems to me like if you go to one of these chain, like, Chain stores, then you're having the problem. But there's no mom and pop clips on here. Like, if you go to a mom and pop mechanic, apparently they're doing the job.
Jen
That's what my dad does. He's always gone to the same mechanic he's known for, you know, 20, 30 years or whatever it is. And they're buddies and they've known each other a long time, and that's who he trusts, and it's the only one he'll go to.
Joe
Remember when we talked for everything, when we talked to Wendy yesterday and I asked if about dealerships, you know, because part of their. Their investigation did not include, you know, brand dealerships where there are still reports that that goes on. So I think it goes on. I think it's based on the people, not just the fact that if their mom and pop are chain, you know.
VRBO Advertiser
Right.
Emily
Let's play the last clip. This is from the Decatur Good.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
Decatur Goodyear off Claremont was our most expensive stop with recommended repairs totaling more than eleven hundred dollars.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Nothing urgent that needs to be. I mean, all of this urgent.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
Again, we were recommended to do a front and rear differential service and a transmission flush and spark plugs.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Definitely start getting some of it done
Emily
before you have a catastrophe.
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
And when we return to confirm we absolutely needed the repairs, Goodyear tacked on another recommendation. A brake fluid flush on top of the transmission flush.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
The transmission is the one that concerns me the most.
Melissa
I mean, dirty transmission fluid is supposed
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
to be like a red fluid, and
Host (Jeff Burch)
this is almost black.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Oh, okay. And brake fluid the same way.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Brake fluid's supposed to be clear and
Reporter (Wendy Saltzman)
it's almost black again. Our mechanic said it was completely unnecessary.
Host (Jeff Burch)
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Melissa
Okay, fluid's clear.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
It is clear.
Emily
If I work, by the way, at CBS Atlanta, I would make a lot of fun of Wendy for saying my fluids clear a lot like that could be ringtones and stuff.
Jen
I can't wait till she approaches these people tonight.
Emily
Tonight.
Jen
It's gonna be awesome.
Joe
Yeah.
Emily
Hey, Alex, welcome to the show.
Caller (Alex)
Hey, thanks. I was just kind of listening to this, and it sounds a little ridiculous at what's going on. I know a guy that's actually been here in Georgia for years and just doesn't know how to get his stuff out there. He kind of does advocate stuff like this. He does a membership fee kind of thing to where he keeps all your records for your cars. If you ever have an issue with your car, you call him up, tell him, hey, I got a knocking that's going on over here, he tells you a couple different, you know, reputable shops to take it to people that he knows. Not these chain things that have blown up the way that they have just based on ripping people off. His company is called Repair Busters and that's basically what he does. If you call them up, like I said, mentioning that you have the knock, you tell him what they quoted you at and he'll kind of tell you there's no way that that's an issue with your car because that doesn't have anything to do with that part.
Emily
So you said it's a membership thing or whatever. So you're paying him regardless. So it's not like he makes any money off of saying that it is or is not a problem.
Caller (Alex)
Correct. It's a one time yearly fee. And so he does that.
Emily
It's actually brilliant, isn't it?
Caller (Alex)
And his biggest thing is he just doesn't know how to get his name out there. He's got a MySpace page right now. I've tried to tell him about the Facebook and the Twitter and everything. And you know, he's, he's very mechanically inclined. If he could work on cars for people all the time, he would. His biggest thing is he can't stand watching people get ripped off all the time.
Joe
What's his MySpace, you know, site. What's his MySpace page?
Caller (Alex)
I think it's Repair Busters. See if I can. Yeah. MySpace.com repairbusters.
Emily
All right, well we're gonna put you on hold too and just to confirm that information and we'll have Carl double check it and then that's something we could put up on our website because I think that would be. And you know what?
Weight Watchers Advertiser
Help.
Joe
Just like Jen said, I mean, you feel lost and what do you do to protect yourself?
Emily
Hey, David, welcome to the show.
David
How are you?
Emily
Or Davis. I'm sorry, this is Davis. How are you?
David
Davis? Yes.
Emily
Davis the mechanic.
David
Yes. This is ridiculous. These places that you already have on here, I mean, they're notorious for charging too much for things that you know aren't even right. I used to work for. One of the places that you actually spoke of is in a different state though. And I just had to leave and start my own business because it's just ridiculous.
Joe
But most people don't know that.
Melissa
Yeah.
Emily
Do they encourage you? You said you used to work for them. So you're encouraged by your bosses to upsell and.
David
Yes, and unfortunately it was actually on a bonus level to. Whereas if you sold so much in a month and you got an extra such amount of money. And, you know, yeah, the money looked good. But, I mean, just sitting there taking people for their money.
Joe
Yeah.
Jen
So you're in sales if you work there, not in mechanics. You're there to sell people on stuff instead of fix their cars.
David
Well, I started off in sales, but then I couldn't hang with sales. Because sitting there, lying to the people, to their faces. Unfortunately, I don't have a poker face.
Emily
You know what? If a company is smart, they would advertise, like, no bonuses or no commissions. Like, when I buy electronics and computers and stuff, if there's a commission free, Like, I just feel more like if the dude talking to me doesn't have anything invested in how much I spend, I just feel more comfortable with it.
Jen
That was all my years with working with the Shane Company for jewelry. Their salespeople aren't on commission.
Emily
Right. So you go in there and they don't care if you buy $100 diamond or a $10,000 diamond.
Melissa
Right.
Emily
Hey, Susanna, welcome to the show.
Melissa
Hi. I was just trying to call in because I had a catalytic converter replaced once. And I think I paid around $600, which I think was overpriced. And then I went into a Honda dealership. And then they tried saying that after I had already got it replaced. Tried saying that my total would be
Emily
around eleven hundred dollars to have the same thing replaced.
Melissa
Yes. Well, no, I did not get it done. But charging me for the thing that I just got it replaced, like, a few months ago, it just.
Joe
To me.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah.
Joe
It's a shame because I hate that mechanics are getting a commission based on services. So you're punished if you take care of your car. You know what I mean? Well, it's kind of very much like healthcare, where you know, you should be invested more in making sure your car runs well than, you know, it breaking. Letting it break down and make money off of it.
Emily
You know, I. I am excited to see her tonight. Go back to these guys.
Jen
Oh, my gosh.
Host (Jeff Burch)
Yeah.
Jen
Confrontation and what they have to say for themselves on camera, you know, ripping people off.
Emily
Hey, Emma. You'll be the last call.
Melissa
Okay.
Emily
How are you?
Melissa
That's fine.
Emily
What's going on?
Melissa
Well, I was calling in and let them know that as a female, they always try to get over you. Because they look at a female and go, cha ching. Well, I'm chiching them back. And I found out that if you can go to the store, the auto parts store.
David
Right.
Melissa
Get yourself a book about your car and start going up under the Hood and finding out about your car. And that's what I started doing. And in doing so, I was able to help a lot of single mothers to help keep their car up and running, to know what kind of. For what kind of little knocks to listen for. So that way, when they take it in and they're not sure if they can fix it themselves and take it in and get it done, then that way ripped off. And a lot of times, they usually catch them because I caught one McKenna trying to pull that stunt that he had changed my timing belt, and he didn't. And I literally did not pull off until I'm like, excuse me, but my belt isn't changing. He was, like, shocked that I knew what the hell I was talking about.
Emily
Good for you. So did you just go in?
Melissa
I pulled a good one on him, and I'm like, if you don't change it, guess what? That's for free, because I'm not paying for.
Emily
Did you go. Did you look? Was it a book that you bought? Or did you just go to the auto parts store and just start asking the guys who work there?
Melissa
Yeah, I went to the auto parts store, but I also knew exactly what was going on, because my car was sounding funny, and I'm like, okay, it's not turning right. It's doing this little stop drop. And I said, okay, let me look up under there to see what was going on. And found out the belt was loose. And it was like, well, you need to get that change. And I asked the guys at the store first, and he was like, yeah, you need to have that change. And I'm like, oh, I can't do that. That's a little heavy duty there. So I'm gonna take it down here. And they charged me for it, but then they didn't change the power.
Emily
That's actually a good plan is to talk to the audio parts guys. Cause they don't.
Joe
Right.
Jen
They don't out there fixing it. Yeah.
Emily
The Burt show.
Host (Jeff Burch)
The Burch show.
Emily
Tracy Kinney is in studio.
Joe
Hi, Tracy.
Tracy Kinney
Good morning.
Emily
Proud mom to Ella.
Tracy Kinney
Yes. Who woke up four times last night.
Emily
Why?
Jen
I don't know.
Tracy Kinney
She's just. For a while there, she was actually sleeping through the night. And I was all proud of my little baby. But I don't know, lately, I guess she's just hungry a lot or she just wants to cuddle. But four times in one night, does
Emily
she wake up just to announce that, hey, I'm up, Or is she like,
Tracy Kinney
no, she wants to, like, eat.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Yeah.
Emily
Okay.
Tracy Kinney
Which is Frustrating, because then you have to lay there for 30 minutes while she eats. And if you do that four times, that's two hours of sleep I'm losing.
Emily
So how many hours of sleep have you gotten last night?
Tracy Kinney
Did you get it before? But it's worth it. It is worth it. So I'm not gonna complain. She's huge. She's awesome.
Emily
We talked to Tracy a couple weeks ago. Was it maybe a month and a half ago?
Tracy Kinney
It's two months ago.
Emily
How old is Ella now?
Tracy Kinney
She's four months.
Emily
So when Ella was two months old, she went in to the doctor and had to get a round of shots, you know, as babies have to get. And Tracy did not handle that too well.
Caller (Michelle)
When the nurse came in with the needles, I just started shaking, was almost to the point of tears. And she suggested that I go out in the hallway and Scott stay with her. And that's what I ended up doing. And now I feel awful because, like, the one point, you know, like, that was the one time my baby was in pain and I let my own fears and my own emotions about the whole thing get in the way, and I left her. Like, I am just so upset about it.
Emily
Get a grand. So that was because when Tracy told us that, we refused to allow her in the studio. That's why she was on the phone?
Tracy Kinney
No, I was on maternity leave.
Emily
Okay. So Tracy told us last week that Ella was going in for round two of shots.
Tracy Kinney
Yeah, it was her four month checkup, so she had to get shots again. And last time she had two shots, and this time she was scheduled for three shots.
Emily
And this is also where you have her microchipped, right?
Tracy Kinney
No, I haven't gotten her microchipped yet, but I'm not opposed to it. So going into it, of course, Scott came with me, and I was all nervous because after the last time, I just felt so crushed for at least, you know, for the longest time. Because here was the one point where my baby really needed me. And I. I left her. Like, I couldn't stay in the room because I was afraid of her being in pain. So instead, now.
Emily
What is it that freaks you out? Is it the. Because, like, I don't do good in medical situations. Like when they do the surgery scene in Grey's Anatomy, I'm the guy who turns away. Like, is it. Is it the actual seeing?
Tracy Kinney
No, it's not. I mean, it's not like being, you know, feeling queasy about the whole thing. It's knowing that somebody is causing pain to my baby and her Looking at me and just seeing it happen, you know, or seeing me let it happen. You know, she's looking into my eyes, and I'm just standing there, like, staring at her, knowing that somebody's gonna hurt her. And I was just. I don't know. I mean. And the wailing that they. The cry is like a cry you never hear, you know, it's not a hunger cry. It's not a I'm lonely cry. It's just like wailing because they have no idea what just happened to them. And why did mommy just let that happen?
Emily
So it's almost like self.
Tracy Kinney
It's an emotional thing. Like, I just couldn't bear to let. To see it happen. So last time, I just let Scott stay in there with her.
Emily
Scott, the guy who passed out while you were delivering your baby? That's a beautiful.
Joe
Because it's okay for her to say, oh, look, Daddy's letting this happen to me.
Tracy Kinney
No, I mean, I couldn't. I can't describe. Like, I started shaking. Like, the room was closing in on me. Like, I felt like I was gonna fall over, because I just didn't. I just didn't want to have to go through that. So I left the room, and I sat in the hallway, and I heard the whole thing go down next, you know, in the room. So then.
Emily
Hey, Jessica. How are you?
Melissa
Good. How are you?
David
Good.
Joe
You have something for Tracy?
Caller (Michelle)
Yes, I do. I just wanted to let her know that it happens to every mom, and it happened to me. It happens.
Melissa
As soon as you see those needles,
Caller (Michelle)
it's like, oh, my goodness.
Joe
But aren't you projecting? Because when you say that, Ella's like, I feel pain and mommy let this happen. Don't you think the mommy let this happen part is probably not going through Ella's.
Tracy Kinney
I know it's all in my head, but you can't convince yourself of that when it's about to happen. You know, I know that emotionally, she is. No, you know, she's gonna forget about it two minutes later, and she's gonna love me just as much. But it's just that two seconds of her looking at me thinking, what the heck did you just let happen? Is just crushing.
Jen
She's looking at you when it's all happening. Right.
Emily
But you think that's the look on her face, but that's not the look on her face. Like, the look on her face is, oh, that hurt.
Jen
How do you know, Jeff? You haven't seen the look on her face and the way she gazes at her mother.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
Tracy.
Joe
No, I'm telling you, Tracy's about to say, when you have children, she's about to say, the parent I screamer.
Melissa (Makeup Artist/Sex Therapist)
And she's.
Emily
I can't understand it until you have.
Joe
She's trying to bite her tongue, but she wants to say, if you were a parent, you'd understand.
Emily
Tracy, I know where you're coming from. I get my dog doesn't like the vet.
Tracy Kinney
Do not compare Sasha and babies aren't dogs.
Emily
And when we pull into the parking lot with Sasha, like she knows where she's going and she looks at me and I'm like, you know, so I just let Jessica take her.
Tracy Kinney
Jeff, it's not the same thing.
Emily
Hey. Oh, Alex. Hey, Alex.
Caller (Michelle)
Hi.
Emily
How are you?
Melissa
Good.
Caller (Michelle)
How are you?
Emily
Good.
Caller (Michelle)
I had the same thing happen yesterday. My 4 year old and my 6 month old went for their shots yesterday.
Emily
You bailed them.
Caller (Michelle)
And my 4 year old knows what's coming. And the fear in her eyes just makes me start crying.
Child (Hayden)
It's so hard.
Tracy Kinney
It's the worst.
Melissa
I was awful.
Caller (Michelle)
I stayed there with her because she wants me to stay, but the six month old has no idea, so daddy stays with her. And I cried the whole time with her.
Tracy Kinney
Oh, see, I do think though, that
Jen
your kids pick up cues from you.
Tracy Kinney
Well, you're crying.
Jen
She's of course gonna cry.
Tracy Kinney
Well, that too. And that's why Scott last time told me to go in the hall too, because he's like, she needs you. You know, she needs you to be strong. She can sense that you're scared, so you need to go in the other, you know, you need to leave the room so that she's calm about it. But then I was just crushed afterwards because I felt like when my baby needed me most, I aband. So, you know, two days ago she got her four month shots. And you know, we walked in, Scott came with me and the nurse said, I've got the chair ready for you right out here.
Emily
You're that mom.
Tracy Kinney
I'm like, no, I didn't need it this time. I'm gonna stay by her side. So, you know, we went through with the entire doctor's appointment and then we were waiting for the nurse to come in and she was laying there on the crinkly paper and nothing but a diaper, just all happy as can be.
Emily
And I made Scott thinking, this is crinkly paper. This is the most awesome day of my life.
Joe
Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle.
Tracy Kinney
So I actually made Scott stand away from her. And I was the one that stood right by her head and I held her hand. The nurse came in and I just bit my lip and I let it happen. And all three shots. And she screamed and she wailed and I picked her up, but I made it through it.
Joe
Good job.
Tracy Kinney
Good job, Tracy.
Joe
Good job, Tracy.
Jen
You feel better about this experience even though she still cried?
Tracy Kinney
Yeah, much better. Because, of course, I mean, she still loves me just as much and I've learned my lesson and I was there for her.
Joe
I would think so, but when she's in therapy, you know, 18 years, she'd be like, oh, those booster shots.
Emily
Have you noticed any hatred in her eyes since then?
Joe
No.
Tracy Kinney
She still loves me just as much. And don't put a complex in my head.
Emily
Do you think she would love you? Like, let's say you weren't breastfeeding her and there was really nothing she could get out of you, and you're just a person who.
Tracy Kinney
You know what? Six month shots. You're coming with us.
Emily
The bird show.
Original Air Date: May 11, 2026
Host/Cast: The Bert Show team — Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & more
Podcast Description: Real, funny, and authentic morning radio — covering entertainment, listener drama, personal stories, and daily laughs.
This episode jumps into listener dilemmas, candid parenting and sexuality conversations, consumer protection experiences, and heartfelt moments about motherhood. From the ethics of concealing relationship truths to teaching kids about sex, mechanics’ upselling tactics, and the emotional journey of parenting, the crew and callers provide empathy, humor, and real advice.
(Start: 00:45)
Melissa's Strong Advice (01:32):
"Her whole relationship is based on a lie. If she wants to keep this guy, she's got to come clean... She's just as bad as the girl who cheated on him because their relationship's not real."
— Melissa
Host Support & Humor:
Other Approaches (04:46–07:18):
Unanimous Resolution:
Is It a Deal Breaker? (08:48):
(11:45–32:28)
Early & Ongoing Conversations:
"The whole point is to start an open dialogue when they're young." (12:05) — Melissa
Reality of Pop Culture & The Internet:
Specific Teen Curiosity:
In recorded clips, Hayden asks for clarity on female orgasms, fairness between genders, and sexual slang she encounters at school or in media. The conversation is frank yet caring, demystifying physical pleasure and anatomy.
Melissa educates:
Hayden’s innocence and learning process are on display, providing insights for both parents and adult listeners.
Important Quote:
"Information is not permission. Information is not permission." (30:09) — Melissa
Empowering Instead of Shaming:
(32:28–44:50)
Caller Stories:
Key Quotes:
Advice for Listeners:
(49:25–57:01)
Tracy Kinney (host/cast member) shares her emotional struggle with attending her infant daughter Ella's vaccinations.
Initial Reaction:
Redemption & Growth:
Parental Empathy:
Casual, supportive, and often humorous, the hosts balance real advice with relatable comedy and candor. They make tough or awkward subjects feel approachable and foster a listener community built on empathy, honesty, and the willingness to keep it genuine—even about embarrassing or vulnerable experiences.
This installment of The Bert Show dives into the real stuff—tough relationship honesty, how we (should) talk to our kids about sex, why you can’t blindly trust your mechanic, and the bittersweet aches of new parenthood. Whether you’re navigating your own dilemmas or just need a funny, insightful boost to your morning, this episode delivers practical takeaways, big laughs, and plenty of moments that might just sound like your own life.
End of Summary