Full Show PT 2: Monday, May 18 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 — Monday, May 18 [Vault]

Date: May 18, 2026
Host and Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Joanna, Jeff, Wendy, and others
Special Guest: Nick Lachey (Interview segment)

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show captures the cast’s signature blend of humor, banter, and real-life discussions covering Atlanta’s controversial nickname “Hotlanta,” engagement proposal etiquette and surprises, a deep dive into the unusual world of crowd-sourced cosmetic surgery with MyFreeImplants.com, and a lively interview with Nick Lachey. Throughout, the tone is light, honest, and playfully irreverent, offering insight and plenty of laughs for listeners looking to escape the daily grind.

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Main Discussion Themes & Key Points

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1. “Hotlanta”—Retire the Nickname!

• Initiated by: Bert
• Timestamps: [01:15]–[13:19]

Key Points:

• Bert recounts a trip to the Polar Express with his kids in North Carolina, where outsiders referred to Atlanta as "Hotlanta"—a pet peeve for the team.
  • Bert: “It just gets under my skin when I hear that word, Hotlanta.” [03:05]
• The cast agrees the term is out of date and mainly used by non-locals.
  • Jeff: “We have to have the death of Hotlanta… people outside our city still use it all the time.” [02:52]
• Listeners share their frustration with being called “from Hotlanta” when traveling.
  • Caller Samantha: “I'm like, no. ... Can't stand it.” [05:39]
• Several humorous alternatives are pitched (“Warmlanta,” “RainyLanta,” “Notlanta”).
• The cast discusses the origin of the term, citing Urban Dictionary:
  • Bert (reading): “‘Possibly the stupidest term used to represent the best city in the world. Nobody from the ATL ever actually uses this term.’” [04:41]
• They toy with ideas for a public awareness campaign, like getting Delta Airlines to drop the term, and lobbying local celebrities.
  • Bert: “They need to have a plane, the Notlanta plane.” [08:21]
• Community and organizational use of "Hotlanta" (e.g. sports leagues, events) is highlighted as problematic.

Notable Quotes:

• Wendy: “It’s nails on a chalkboard after a while.” [07:32]
• Joanna: “We need to take this thing national because locally, we all know not to use it.” [07:42]
• Jeff: “You have to win the war in your neighborhoods before you can win it nationally.” [13:09]

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2. Engagement Surprises, Spoilers, and Relationship Banter

• Lead: Joanna
• Timestamps: [14:53]–[26:33]

Key Points:

• Joanna accidentally discovers via an email forward when her boyfriend intends to propose.
• Internal struggle: Joanna always wanted to know “when,” but regrets her discovery.
  • Joanna: “It took me everything I had to delete it because I didn't want to read anymore. I don't want to know how it's going to happen or when it's going to happen.” [15:44]
• The cast debates whether men deliberately create decoys to keep proposals a surprise.
• Listeners ("Emily," "Steven," etc.) call in with stories about elaborate, misdirecting proposals.
  • Caller/Guest Chris: “Every time we went out drinking, she'd be like, oh, when are we gonna... but, you know, maybe you have something coming in May... But I just pulled it off this past October... she was totally shocked.” [22:09]
• Wendy argues engagement is “the one thing” in a relationship the man should own entirely.
  • Wendy: “The only thing is the engagement. Let him have it.” [20:49]
• The segment ends with laughter about women’s curiosity and men’s counter-offensives.

Memorable Moments:

• Wendy (teasingly to Joanna): “I legitimately feel bad for him, but I don't feel bad for you at all. Because it's what you wanted. You got exactly what you wanted.” [20:57]
• Callers share heartwarming and comical engagement stories, reinforcing that proposal intrigue is universal.

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3. Crowd-Sourced Cosmetic Surgery: MyFreeImplants.com

• Interviewee: Jay (site owner), various callers
• Timestamps: [30:04]–[43:29]

Key Points:

• Discussion of the website MyFreeImplants.com, where women can crowdfund breast implants from male “benefactors.”
• Bert and crew express initial skepticism, noting the potentially "creepy" undertones:
  • Bert: “I'm assuming that dudes that donate money...either want to see them, want to touch them... There's something just kind of creepy about the whole thing.” [33:00]
• Jay, the founder, explains the site’s structure, security, and funding process.
  • Money is kept in escrow and paid directly to certified surgeons.
  • Donations are only released for surgical purposes.
• The cast questions the altruism behind donations, equating it to modern “sugar daddy” culture but online and with more transparency.
  • Wendy: “How is it any different than these women that go out every weekend looking for sugar daddies?” [39:05]
• A user (“Mary,” voice disguised) shares her experience, emphasizing respectful boundaries and the site’s community aspect.
  • Mary: “It's nothing bad. I'm not exchanging anything other than pictures of my face… nothing sexual at all.” [41:53]
• By the end, skepticism softens—if people are willing and it’s safe, “why not?”

Notable Quotes:

• Joanna: “I guess if you're willing to chat with somebody and spend some time on it, good for you.” [37:19]
• Jay (founder): “We haven't had any incidences and we've raised money for over 500 women. So it's, it's going quite well.” [33:17]
• Jeff (playfully): “World of boob craft.” [37:33]

---

4. Nick Lachey Interview

• Guest: Nick Lachey
• Timestamps: [45:50]–[54:36]

Key Points:

• The team celebrates Nick as a “guy’s guy”—laid-back, grounded, not caught up in celebrity hype.
  • Jeff: “He's like the non celebrity celebrity because he just doesn't come with that sort of arrogance or attitude.” [46:00]
• Nick talks about work/life balance, sharing birthdays with Vanessa, and their tradition of taking trips instead of trading gifts.
• Discusses relationship challenges and reconciliation:
  • Nick Lachey: “Sometimes, you know, absence is what you need… you need to have that perspective that… this is an important person in my life.” [48:41]
• Handles questions about ex Jessica Simpson’s rumored contact with cool deflection: “No, there's no truth in that at all.” [50:06]
• Promotes his involvement with winit.com—a lowest-unique-bid auction site—and its charity component (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation).
• On upcoming music: Album nearly complete, coming out next year.

Notable Quotes:

• Nick Lachey (on surprise proposals, relationships): “It's growing pains for a relationship. Like any other couple goes through. You realize what's important to you, and then, you know, you make it happen.” [49:25]
• Bert (on Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader): “It's a no win situation. If you win, you're supposed to… and if you lose, you just lost to a fifth grader.” [53:14]

---

Standout Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Hotlanta is nails on a chalkboard.” — Wendy [07:32]
• “We must kill it. We must kill it together.” — Jeff, on eradicating the term "Hotlanta" [13:09]
• “It's the only thing he gets to do.” — Wendy, on the proposal’s importance for men in relationships [20:47]
• “World of boob craft.” — Jeff, in response to MyFreeImplants.com [37:33]
• “You're the best girlfriend a guy could ever have... She had that scroll for two years and didn’t even know it opened up. Well, inside of it was a piece of paper that said... Danielle, will you marry me?” — Caller/Guest Chris, creative engagement [27:33]

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Key Segment Timeline

• 01:15–13:19: “Hotlanta” nickname discussion and grassroots campaign wit & frustration from hosts/listeners.
• 14:53–26:33: Engagement proposal etiquette, stories of misdirection, Joanna’s accidental spoiler.
• 30:04–43:29: MyFreeImplants.com founder interview, call-ins from users, debate on the ethics and logistics.
• 45:50–54:36: Nick Lachey interview—celebrity life, love, rumors, charity, and his new projects.

---

Conclusion

This episode showcases The Bert Show’s talent for transforming real-life grumbles and “first world problems” into fun, communal therapy. From rallying listeners against “Hotlanta,” to untangling surprises in modern relationships, and giving a judgment-free platform to unconventional crowdfunding, the crew doesn’t shy away from awkward conversations—and always brings the laughs. The Nick Lachey interview rounds out the show with star power while keeping everything down-to-earth.

If you missed this one, you got a full helping of Atlanta pride, messy engagements, digital age oddities, and why Nick Lachey is the “guy’s guy” of the decade.

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

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[Bert]

first show so you guys, it happened to me this weekend and it made me think of something that we have talked about in our post show meeting now for weeks and I had forgotten about it. So this weekend we took our kids, we have a seven year old and a two year old, up to Bryson City, North Carolina to ride the Polar Express. There is a train up there that is very much like the book and very much like the movie where you bring your kids up here and it's a big old train. I mean it's a full on railroad train man. And it looks like it has like 20 different cars on it, right? And it is decorated just like the Polar Express, right? And you go up there and they encourage all the kids to dress in their pajamas like they do in the movie and the book also. So you pull up to like the their station and they're all these like little kids man, like from 2 to 8 years old, all in their jammies. And some of their parents get into it also. And they change their jammies also.

[Wendy]

How holiday esque Stacy is. What were you wearing?

[Bert]

I refused to put PJs on, but it was requested. Stacy didn't wear hers either, but a lot of parents were.

[Jeff]

It's cute.

[Bert]

So we get into the Polar Express and we spent the night up there. But we get into the Polar Express and you just start naturally talking to some of the people around you, right? And, you know, the first question is, where are you from? And I asked the couple right next to us and they said they were from Kentucky and they drove in just for the night, just to be on this Polar Express. Then they asked me, where am I from? And I said Atlanta. And they said the words Hotlanta.

[Nick Lachey]

Huh?

[Joanna]

No, tell them.

[Bert]

I didn't tell them. But it was a perfect opportunity to start our campaign against Hotlanta.

[Jeff]

We have to have the death of Hotlanta because there's the death of Otto. And we've got to have the death of Hotlanta because it's not a cool word anymore, but people outside of our city still use it all the time.

[Bert]

I forgot how much of a pet peeve it was for me. It just gets under my skin when I hear that word, Hotlanta.

[Wendy]

And why it's hot because I'm okay with atl. Yeah, the A seems a little gimmicky to me. Like if people refer to it as the A, but I can tolerate it. But Hotlanta seems cheesy.

[Jeff]

So cheesy.

[Wendy]

Because it's not hot here. Like if we were.

[Bert]

It's hot here in the summertime.

[Wendy]

In the summer. Well, it's hot everywhere in the summertime. I don't live in Hoticutes.

[Bert]

It's not Havana, right? But it is hot here in the summer. But yeah, it's not hot year round.

[Wendy]

It's not gonna be hot today. It's gonna be 73. So it's. What is today? Warm Lanta with a nice breeze.

[Joanna]

Cold Lanta soon.

[Wendy]

Yeah, it's chilly Lanta.

[Joanna]

It's rainy Lanta.

[Bert]

Is it meant to refer to our city, like, as. It's just a hot place to be. It's smoking hot. It's hot. It's Hotlanta.

[Jeff]

I don't know, but it's so stupid.

[Joanna]

It doesn't even sound cool coming out of your mouth.

[Bert]

So I get home and I search Hotlanta, right? And there are 438,000 pages with the word Hotlanta. Oh, God. Hotlanta. Urban Dictionary has a few different definitions for it. Says it's a common nickname for Atlanta, popularized throughout the United States and abroad for over two decades by the marketing efforts of the Atlanta Convention Bureau and various trade and tourist organizations. So this is something we created for ourselves.

[Jeff]

I don't started it here.

[Wendy]

I don't know if I believe that

[Joanna]

it would be smart on their part, though, because I think it's a cool trend. It was a cool trending word, and now it's just not a cool trending word.

[Bert]

The other definitions from Urban Dictionary, and I swear these are true. It says, refers to Atlanta, Georgia. Possibly the stupidest term used to represent the best city in the world. Nobody from the ATL ever actually uses this term.

[Jeff]

See, that's good.

[Bert]

And the third one, the name that idiots who don't even live in Georgia call the city of Atlanta.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Because nobody from here says hot, Lana.

[Jeff]

Nobody says it.

[Bert]

So I think we all have to be in agreement on this, that we. If you're a listener to the show, you never use the term Hotlanta. And I think there's a second tier. You have to correct people.

[Jeff]

Yes. You have to correct people that do. Tell them it's the ATL or the A, but not Hotlanta.

[Wendy]

Or how about Atlanta?

[Jeff]

That's true.

[Wendy]

Like, when they go, you're from Hotlanta. Go. Well, to be honest with you, nobody from there calls it Hotlanta. You can call it Atlanta if you want to at, but Atlanta's great.

[Bert]

But not Hotlanta.

[Wendy]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Samantha.

[Caller Samantha]

Yes.

[Wendy]

Good morning, Hot Antha.

[Caller Samantha]

Good morning.

[Wendy]

What's going on, Hot Antha?

[Caller Samantha]

This weekend I'm visiting Washington, D.C. having a great time. And everywhere I go, everyone's like, oh, my God, you're from Hotlanta. Hotlanta. Hotlanta. I'm like, no. I was like, if only the Burt show is with me. It is not Hotlanta. Can't stand it.

[Bert]

Can we make this agreement?

[Caller Samantha]

Agree with you guys?

[Bert]

Samantha. The next time somebody says that to you, you politely just correct them and say, I just want to let you know. Nobody uses that term and nobody has used it in Atlanta in 20 years.

[Caller Samantha]

Yeah. Starbucks even has coffee mugs that say Hotlanta.

[Nick Lachey]

No.

[Jeff]

No, they don't.

[Joanna]

Please say no.

[Jeff]

The local Starbucks people need to contact their corporate office and be like, you guys are tools for printing that.

[Caller Samantha]

But I love you guys and no Hotlanta.

[Bert]

Agreed.

[Nick Lachey]

Thank you.

[Jeff]

It's dying.

[Wendy]

Today we have a big undertaking like, you know there's a website, hotlanta.com?

[Bert]

no, dude.

[Wendy]

Atlanta's largest nightlife community. Kind of. It's kind of a cheesy looking site, but it just looks like a directory of stuff. There's a Hotlanta events calendar.

[Jeff]

Is there anybody from Atlanta that runs hotlanta.com?

[Bert]

that may be the first call we have to make is to hotlanta.com. it's very misleading.

[Wendy]

Let's see. Copyright 2009 Advanced Internet Systems. Yeah, we'll have to do some research and find out who owns this, because

[Bert]

if they're local, we gotta make a

[Wendy]

call today or they're gonna have to move to Valdosta.

[Joanna]

We need to take this thing national.

[Bert]

Hot dosta. Good morning, Emily. Hi.

[Caller Samantha]

Hi. I was gonna completely agree with y'.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

All.

[Caller Samantha]

I'm from Mississippi, and every time I go home to visit my family, to my hometown, everybody's like, oh, you going back to Hotlanta? And I'm like, oh, my gosh. We don't call it that. It drives me insane. And I completely agree. I can't stand it. Some people still call it atl, but Hotlanta thing is so cheesy and dumb.

[Bert]

It's nails on a chalkboard after a while. Hotlanta is nails on a chalkboard.

[Caller Samantha]

I agree. I completely agree. Thank you for doing the campaign. Thank you.

[Joanna]

We need to take this thing national because locally, we all know not to use it, but we need to get, like, these states involved, like Mississippi.

[Bert]

That's what she's saying is when she goes home. That's where it starts. This grassroots doesn't start in Atlanta because we don't refer to ourselves as that. It's when you go home and they refer to you. You're in an airport and someone says, oh, you're from Hotlanta. You have to politely. Because you're still representing the city. You politely correct them and say, nobody calls it Hotlanta.

[Jeff]

How expensive would it be, do you think, to buy a Delta Airlines tagline for like, one year? It's not Hotlanta, Jen.

[Wendy]

We can't even get coffee filters.

[Jeff]

I'm just wondering, because that would help because Delta goes everywhere. They would spread the word.

[Bert]

They need to have a plane, the Notlanta plane.

[Nick Lachey]

Notlanta.

[Wendy]

There's Allman Brothers song called Hotlanta. It's an instrumental one. It's only on one record, so I don't think we have to stop playing it.

[Jeff]

Aren't they all dead?

[Wendy]

I don't think we have to stop. Oh, my God, no, don't say that.

[Jeff]

Aren't they? No, most of them are.

[Bert]

Well, I don't know. I think at this point it's probably cousins and brothers and. Hey, Kathryn. Good morning. You're on T100. Hi.

[Caller Samantha]

How's it going?

[Bert]

It's great here in Hotlanta, isn't it?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Wow.

[Caller Samantha]

Stoke Hotlanta. I love it. I was actually in Chattanooga this weekend talking with a friend of mine about this whole hotline of phenomenon. He informed me, and we looked it up, that the nickname for Atlanta is the Phoenix City.

[Bert]

That's gonna be confusing.

[Caller Samantha]

When I looked it up, it was saying the history of it is that there's a phoenix symbol on the state flag and the state seal.

[Wendy]

And you know what? I'm officially declaring that stupid Rising from

[Jeff]

the ashes because we were burned.

[Bert]

Yeah, I see.

[Jeff]

Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground. Phoenix City. Because it came back.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, good.

[Bert]

Then Phoenix can call them.

[Joanna]

We just need to change our flag.

[Wendy]

Here's another problem. And this one's going down. And this one. This one just wrapped up yesterday at Frogs Cantina.

[Jeff]

What?

[Wendy]

The Hotlanta Softball League?

[Bert]

Come on, come on.

[Jeff]

Yeah, it's the Not Hot Softball League.

[Wendy]

It's on Google.

[Nick Lachey]

Here.

[Wendy]

It's Atlanta Gay Softball. Gay and Lesbian Softball League. And they had their final game of the season, and then they had a party, it looks like, at Frogs.

[Bert]

It's disappointing. The gay community has better taste than that.

[Jeff]

They're way cooler.

[Bert]

Way cooler.

[Jeff]

They just stay on, like, the front edge of coolness.

[Wendy]

What if they are so cool that they've come completely back around?

[Bert]

No, it hasn't died out yet.

[Jeff]

To be cool, I have to die first.

[Bert]

Hey, Vanessa. Good morning. You're IQ 100.

[Caller Samantha]

Hi, guys.

[Bert]

You have to help us spread the word and kill Hotlanta.

[Caller Samantha]

Oh, yes, but celebrities use it.

[Jeff]

No?

[Caller Samantha]

Yes. If you go to concerts, like last year, I went to the no Doubt reunion tour. I kind of excused Gwen Stefani. She hadn't been around in a while. She didn't know. But I went to the Green Day show last year and the New Kids

[Nick Lachey]

on the Block and Donnie Wahlberg used it. No, no, no, we'll fix that.

[Jeff]

Yeah, we got the direct line of Donnie Wahlberg. Tracy's got his number, so we're. We'll have to school him.

[Bert]

He's going to be in here at the end of the week.

[Jeff]

Right.

[Wendy]

You know what we can do also?

[Bert]

That's where it starts, Wendy. Can you remember that? I gotta bring that up.

[Joanna]

Definitely will.

[Wendy]

We can also bring it up when we Talk to Janet Jackson because she has. I don't know what the status of her relationship is, but she will always have atlantized because she was with Jermaine Dupri for so long.

[Bert]

She'll be on the show tomorrow, so

[Wendy]

we could correct her. I'm seeing a pattern here though, with Frogs Cantina. They have a party next Saturday from 1 to 5. The Hotlanta Soccer beer bus.

[Bert]

Can't do that.

[Wendy]

Now.

[Bert]

We can excuse it at this point because we haven't started the campaign. But from this day forward, and I think we have to endorse, like we have to get Janet. She has to be sort of the pioneer among celebrities that when someone from Access Hollywood says I was Hotlanta, Janet has to say, we don't really call it Hotlanta anymore. Because if she does it, then it becomes cool.

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Good morning, ron. You're on Q101.

[Nick Lachey]

Quick comment.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

ATL and a suck. Also, I gotta be honest, they're all marketing pictures. Let's stop trying to be all cool and hip hop.

[Nick Lachey]

You know, it's like Cape Cod.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Cape Cod is Cape Cod.

[Nick Lachey]

It's not the cape.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Let's just stick with Atlanta.

[Bert]

I think we gotta sort of crawl before we can walk.

[Joanna]

Well, we need one nickname. I think ETL is okay.

[Wendy]

Yeah. And I. Cape Cod was the cape when I was growing up.

[Bert]

It was Good morning, Tracy, you're on Q100.

[Nick Lachey]

Hey, Bert.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I got one. Hotlanta Volleyball Association. It is ran. It is a gay volleyball association. It's national with. There's a National Volleyball association and HVA is a part of that.

[Nick Lachey]

And it is.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It is completely, almost 100% nothing but gay volleyball.

[Bert]

Okay, so we're starting to sense a pattern here. So we need the gay community at this point to.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

That's what we've got to do. I have a bunch of friends that play volleyball with this association.

[Jeff]

They need to renounce their name. That's what we need is a big name changing ceremony for them and give

[Bert]

it something entirely different. But no more Hotlanta. No more Hotlanta.

[Wendy]

Just find a whole website of I love Hotlanta.

[Jeff]

No T shirts. Merchandising.

[Bert]

Look, we knew this was gonna be a big fight. It wasn't gonna be one in one day.

[Jeff]

No, we must kill it. We must kill it together.

[Bert]

You have to win the war in your neighborhoods before you can win it nationally. So it starts in your own neighborhood. There's no battle in Atlanta. That's where the battle starts.

[Nick Lachey]

Get it?

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay. Can we Talk about how confusing weight loss has become. Like one minute its carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy Pill and the Wegovy Pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit4hers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's f o r h e r s.com Bert borhers.com Bert weightlist by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go use the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s get started and learn more, including important safety information, WeGovy clinical study information, and restrictions. Visit borhears.com Premier hosts on VRBO Deliver

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[Bert]

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you're on the Burt Show. Producer Joanna here.

[Joanna]

I just came to the realization that I'm definitely the more intelligent one of my relationship when it comes to common sense because he accidentally forwarded me an email disclosing when he's going to be proposing to me and he sent yes. Well, it was actually a forwarded email and he didn't realize that his original email is attached to the bottom.

[Jeff]

Oh, you're kidding.

[Joanna]

No.

[Bert]

So why was he forwarding any email to you at all?

[Joanna]

Well, he has a friend that is currently in Iraq and his daughter. Before he left they found out she had a tumor and it was a mutual friend of ours and he was writing him telling him that she's doing well and he wanted me to Read it just to let me know that she's doing okay. And he didn't realize that his email, original email is attached to the forwarded one.

[Jeff]

And what did the original email say?

[Joanna]

The original email? Well, I only read the first line and I want to be clear that it took me everything I had to delete it because I didn't want to read anymore. I don't want to know how it's going to happen or when it's going to happen. I just want to know.

[Wendy]

But you did want to know until it was handed to you.

[Joanna]

No, I've just always wanted to know that it was going to happen because yeah, we've talked about I want to get married, but in a guy's mind that might be a year to two years from now. In my mind it's sooner than that.

[Bert]

Like three weeks ago.

[Joanna]

Yeah, like six months ago. And I just want to make sure we're on the same path.

[Wendy]

But hasn't he told you that?

[Joanna]

He's never told. We've always said, oh yeah, we'll get married one day. But in his.

[Jeff]

It's always a someday type of thing.

[Joanna]

Yeah, someday thing.

[Bert]

It's kind of open ended. Like we're going to be with each other for the rest of our lives. But you've never really talked about. He's never proposed.

[Joanna]

Right. And you can't say, well when. Cause then you're just being pushy. Right, so.

[Wendy]

But you have admitted to going through his phone.

[Joanna]

Yeah. Cause I just wanted to find out when without him knowing that I was trying to find out when.

[Wendy]

But now that you know when you're upset.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I'm so upset.

[Wendy]

Oh my God.

[Bert]

This is exactly what you wanted. Like Jeff just said you were going through his phone looking for info.

[Joanna]

I needed to know a timeline. Not like an exact date. I didn't want to know the exact date.

[Jeff]

So that's what you read as an exact date?

[Joanna]

Yes, I found out that. You want me to tell you when.

[Bert]

What did the email say?

[Joanna]

It said I'm looking for early January

[Bert]

and now are you bummed? Now you're bummed.

[Joanna]

And I instant messaged him and I was like, okay, so I have to be the pretty one and the smart one in this relationship because you just emailed me and told me when you were gonna do it. I said, please change it. He's gonna have to change it now. Yeah.

[Bert]

Unless this is the off the scent email.

[Joanna]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking he sent it to you on purpose. I don't Throw you off? Because then he's gonna do it later on in January. Or if not before.

[Wendy]

Or before.

[Joanna]

I think. I think before.

[Bert]

You just talked to us last week. We spent 15, 20 minutes talking about this very thing, about you wanting to know when it was gonna happen. You snooping through his phone. So he obviously heard that. And maybe this is his way of just getting you off track.

[Joanna]

I mean, I know what I said, but what I meant was I wanna know a timeframe, not the exact early January seems. Well, I mean, that's to me, I'd rather have known. Okay, well, maybe in four to six months, it's gonna happen.

[Wendy]

What is? Early January. Is it your birthday? His birthday?

[Joanna]

No. Nobody's birthday. New Year's.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Aw.

[Joanna]

You wanna start the new year with me forever?

[Bert]

So you think New Year's Eve? Maybe. But this is what it does. Jack's with you now for the first two weeks of January. Every time he calls, you're gonna think, this is it. Every time he sets up a spontaneous dinner, you're gonna think, this is it. A weekend away. You're gonna think it's it, and it's gonna drive you nuts.

[Joanna]

I know. So I'm so mad that this happened.

[Jeff]

Did he say he's gonna change?

[Wendy]

It's exactly what you wanted, though.

[Joanna]

No, it's not exactly what you wanted.

[Bert]

It is exactly what you asked for

[Jeff]

last week when you told him about finding it. Did he say he was gonna change his plan?

[Joanna]

No, he just. He wrote me back immediately. Said, are you kidding? Did you really read it? And I said I deleted it. But I know what the time, you know, that it's gonna happen in January. And I don't know what he responded to that.

[Wendy]

Why don't.

[Joanna]

You know, I think he's panicking because I came in here to talk about it.

[Bert]

I wonder if there are guys that are. See, I think that women would think. No, guys are incapable of thinking that far in advance. They wouldn't do the whole get me off the scent thing. But I'm wondering if there are guys listening right now that have done that purposely. 404,741, q100. And maybe your girlfriend's fiance's. Now, wives never knew you were really doing that, but they were getting maybe the same kind of, if you want to call it, subtle pressure that you're giving Jason, Same kind of pressure that Jason is feeling right now to get engaged. So rather than go ahead and,

[Caller/Guest Chris]

you

[Bert]

know, propose when they really wanted to, what they would do is they would just sort of just Push you aside by just doing something enough to get you off the set when they were really gonna propose.

[Jeff]

That'd be smart.

[Joanna]

Yeah, that would be smart. I just don't know if he'd be smart enough to do that.

[Host/Announcer]

I could see that happening.

[Joanna]

If you can't be surprised, somebody needs to. Someone's hard to surprise.

[Wendy]

I gotta get to him.

[Bert]

That's what I'm trying to do.

[Joanna]

Why?

[Wendy]

Why save this man?

[Jeff]

That's crazy. Cause Joanna's just being honest about the way all women are. We all wanna know. We all, like, curious about that. And do a little something.

[Wendy]

But you know what the problem is?

[Jeff]

Your wives both did this. You just don't know about it.

[Wendy]

But the problem is she's being rude about it.

[Bert]

Like, the guy she's taunting. She's almost like.

[Jeff]

What's rude about it?

[Joanna]

She deleted the email.

[Bert]

She's almost, like, taunting him.

[Wendy]

Right. Here's the deal. The guy has one thing in the entire relationship that he can do and make it 100% his own. Like the wedding she's going to plan. Like the dating. You know, like, he'll pick a couple dates. But then once everybody gets comfortable, the women generally dictate. If the women likes dinner dates, then it's dinner dates. They go on.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

You know what I mean?

[Bert]

Like life.

[Wendy]

Life. The woman likes to go to the beach for a vacation, generally speaking. Right. You know what I mean? So there's a lot of. There's only. I can seriously only think of one thing in a relationship that can be 1. 100%. The mail.

[Bert]

No consulting.

[Nick Lachey]

None.

[Bert]

Nothing.

[Wendy]

And the only thing is the engagement. Let him have it.

[Joanna]

But don't forget, he sent it to me, though. How is this my fault? He's the one who sent it to me.

[Wendy]

Because you've read his mail. You've gone through his phone. Like, if you've sent the forward to you. I legitimately feel bad for him, but I don't feel bad for you at all. Because it's what you wanted. You got exactly what you wanted.

[Bert]

And the fact that you came on and you said he's not smart enough to do that.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah, I just.

[Joanna]

I mean, not that he smart. He's a very smart guy. I just don't think he thinks that far ahead to think to do something like Cash.

[Bert]

That's exactly where we want. Women underestimate us.

[Nick Lachey]

Come on.

[Bert]

Underestimate him.

[Jeff]

So easy to do.

[Bert]

Hey, Emily. Good morning.

[Caller Samantha]

Hey.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Caller Samantha]

Hey. I just wanted to say I totally think that he's doing that. And when my husband did the same thing to me. I kept putting pressure, like, want to know what's going on? And it came my birthday one the year he proposed, but took me out to dinner. And I was like, oh, this is totally. Yet he's gonna do it. And he pulls out, like, all this dog stuff. Like, he had bought me a dog and was like, oh, this is it, doesn't it? Haven't you wanted a bulldog? And I was like, is this what you got me? He's like, yeah. So, like, the whole night, I was so upset, but I had to pretend I was happy. And then, you know, four hours later, he proposed and just wanted to torture me. And I think that that's what they do. They are calculated, and you just don't realize it.

[Bert]

Good for him. Good for him. He's throwing her off. Hey, Steven. Good morning.

[Caller Samantha]

Hey.

[Nick Lachey]

Good morning.

[Bert]

Hi. The women here don't think that guys are smart enough to pull something like this off.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Oh, are you kidding me, dude? I just proposed three and a half weeks ago, and she's still on cloud nine. I, for the past few months, had been. Every time we went out to drink, had been mentioning something that was going to happen extra special around May. And, you know, I know in the back of her mind, she always thought, oh, my God, he's going to propose in May. He's going to propose in May. But I just pulled it off this

[Jeff]

past October 24th, and she was totally shocked.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Oh, unbelievably, it was. I spent about 20 grand on this whole thing. We did it at the Ritz Carlton Bucket.

[Nick Lachey]

It was unbelievable.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I flew her family into town. Flew my family into town for a surprise party there. One of the rooms had the presidential suite reserved.

[Nick Lachey]

It was great.

[Bert]

So she was focused on May. And you hit her here big time.

[Nick Lachey]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Because every time we went out drinking, she'd be like, oh, when are we gonna.

[Nick Lachey]

I was like, I don't know, babe. But, you know, maybe you have something coming in May. I don't know.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

So she really thought. She really thought that it was gonna happen in May.

[Bert]

Y' all are easy targets here because you want it so badly that it's very easy for guys to take down.

[Jeff]

That call is the exception to the rule.

[Joanna]

I don't know. I think Jason calculated that.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I totally think, because you're gonna

[Joanna]

be waiting and waiting, and I think he's gonna do it beforehand, because now you're gonna wait for that very moment, and he's gonna do it to surprise you earlier.

[Jeff]

Or maybe he'll put off, like, A year, I hope.

[Joanna]

Oh, no.

[Bert]

Hey, Kevin. Good Morning. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Nick Lachey]

Hey.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

What's going on, guys?

[Bert]

You tell us, dude.

[Nick Lachey]

Hey, man.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I was just listening, y'. All. Y' all are cracking me up because I just went through this about a month ago. I just proposed to my, you know,

[Nick Lachey]

girlfriend about five weeks ago and went through the same thing. I had several ideas.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I was actually gonna do it down

[Nick Lachey]

in Disney World because that's where we really started dating and ended up.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

She went through my phone and found stuff, and then she went through her

[Nick Lachey]

mom's phone and found stuff and stuff like that, and.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Absolutely. I think he's probably, you know, he's definitely smart enough to think ahead like

[Nick Lachey]

that, because I thought ahead like that. And it's just a matter of, you know, he's anxious to get it done, too, you know, I mean, he wants to be engaged as bad as you do. He just wants everything to be perfect. And I agree with Jeff. This is his only thing he gets to do. So if I had any advice for

[Caller/Guest Chris]

you, I'd say just.

[Nick Lachey]

Just to step back and let him enjoy it, because you're going to get

[Caller/Guest Chris]

to enjoy all the rest of the stuff.

[Bert]

All right. Same. Same message every time. Mo, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Good morning, guys. I had to do some serious damage control when you. When I proposed to my wife, we were actually gonna go out of town to Mexico on vacation. I actually. Her. She spoke to her sister, and her sister said, oh, well, I think he's probably gonna propose around this time. And I was like, burn. So I had to switch it around on her where she had planned a surprise birthday party several months before for me. So I had to spring it on her in my surprise birthday party. So everybody in my family knew.

[Nick Lachey]

They had.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

They had coordinated secretly with her to do a surprise birthday party for me. And I actually ended up proposing to her that night.

[Bert]

Oh, that's good.

[Jeff]

How did you find out about the surprise birthday party?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I actually knew about it because my sister had said, hey, listen, you know, there's. You know, there's a perfect opportunity because she's planning something for you. And I was like, that's awesome. That's great. Let me go ahead and actually get myself, you know, all together and everything. I couldn't.

[Nick Lachey]

The bad part about it was, it

[Caller/Guest Chris]

was, you know, we were having dinner and everything, and I could not eat anything at all.

[Wendy]

I was so nervous and sweet.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I'm sitting there, and I'm like, okay, let's.

[Nick Lachey]

Let's go ahead and get through the courses.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Let's get to the dessert.

[Nick Lachey]

All right, now I'm gonna go ahead and propose.

[Bert]

This is Chris, like, double espionage right there with the sister.

[Jeff]

That's good.

[Joanna]

Yeah, I know. It could go two, two ways. Now, he can either still wait till January because I thinking it might happen before January, or he could do it before January because I'm thinking it's going to happen.

[Wendy]

He needs to wait until October of 2012 is what he needs to do.

[Bert]

Or he could do it now in the first two weeks of January because now you think he's not going to do it in the first two weeks of January.

[Joanna]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Bert]

See what I'm saying? Is that what you said? I think same type thing.

[Joanna]

I think.

[Bert]

Hey, good morning, mark. You're on Q100.

[Nick Lachey]

Hey, how's it going? I think women definitely underestimated us, let me tell you.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

I flew my wife to New York on Friday. We went shopping. Saturday, we went to a play.

[Nick Lachey]

We went to dinner. I sat down, I said, hey, honey, I got something to tell you.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

You know, you're the best girlfriend a

[Nick Lachey]

guy could ever have.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

She almost ripped my head off. That following Sunday, we went to Central park, rented a rowboat. She didn't know nothing about it. She was just so angry that she

[Nick Lachey]

didn't even want to hear it. So I said, hey, I need.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

You know, like, I. A little side note is I bought her a charm bracelet, and every now and then I would put charms on it. Well, what I did was one. One birthday, I gave her a charm that was a little scroll, and she didn't know that it opened up. Well, inside of it was a piece of paper that said, danielle, will you marry me? She had that scroll for two years and didn't even know it.

[Nick Lachey]

Didn't even open it.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Didn't even know it opened. So I said, hey, honey, you know that scroll opens up. And she opens it up. Mind you, she's still angry from the night before. She opens it up and she reads, danielle, will you marry me? She looks up and she sees the ring right there.

[Bert]

Wow.

[Caller Samantha]

Aww. That's a great.

[Joanna]

Sweet.

[Bert]

It really is one of the few times that we get to like. We get to play women like a cat with catnip. Yeah, because you want it so badly, we get to jack with you for as long as we want. Listen, it's the vert show.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Joanna]

Visit borhurst.com@vrbo we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support, so we plan for the plot twists.

[Jeff]

Every booking is automatically backed by our

[Joanna]

VRBO Care Guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before you. Stay through the moments in between and

[Jeff]

after your trip, because a great trip

[Joanna]

starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist.

[Jeff]

But we've got the peace of mind part covered.

[Bert]

Dish has been connecting communities like yours

[Nick Lachey]

for the last 45 years, providing the TV you love at a price you can trust. Watch live sports news and the latest movies, plus your favorite street apps all in one place. Switch to DISH today and lock in the lowest price in satellite TV starting at $89.99 a month with our two year price guarantee. Call 888-add-D dish or visit dish.com today

[Bert]

this is the Bird Show. We played this for you last week. This is a television station in Cincinnati that was introducing you to free implant. Yeah. Myfreeimplants.com 21 year old Kyle Dinger has

[Caller Samantha]

always dreamed of a bigger bus line.

[Joanna]

I'm small one out of my family to say the least and they've nicknamed me a cup and I don't want that nickname anymore.

[Jeff]

The married mother of two says implants cost about $5,500.

[Nick Lachey]

But now it won't cost Kyle a dime.

[Caller Samantha]

Dozens of strangers are footing the bill. She joined MyFreeImplants.com posting pictures and chatting

[Bert]

with donors called benefactors log on quite

[Joanna]

a few times during the day.

[Caller Samantha]

The men pay a buck 50 to email the ladies. After that, benefactors can send special donations.

[Joanna]

I'll show you. My final donation is $810 and $332 to put me at my goal.

[Caller Samantha]

Cincinnati native Becky Weschler is just weeks

[Bert]

away from going going under the knife.

[Jeff]

In 10 months, the married mother of

[Bert]

three has raised $6,700.

[Joanna]

First I was like, why would they want to give me money? But then, like, you really get to

[Caller Samantha]

know them and talk to them and it's. They want to just, I guess, help

[Joanna]

you and make you happy.

[Bert]

Just want to make you happy. Philanthropist.

[Jeff]

They don't want anything for themselves.

[Bert]

Now here's a little bit, a clip of the video up on their website.

[Joanna]

Hello, everybody. I just wanted to take a moment

[Bert]

to document this momentous occasion.

[Joanna]

I made it to closest to goal list.

[Caller Samantha]

Yay.

[Bert]

I'm so excited.

[Caller Samantha]

I took off my costume after it got to be like 10:30 and nobody

[Joanna]

had rang my door for candy, so

[Caller Samantha]

I took it off.

[Joanna]

And then I kind of took a

[Caller Samantha]

nap and I woke up and I

[Joanna]

was just like, oh, my God. So there it is.

[Bert]

So would she go in for the surgery or something like that?

[Jeff]

I'm confused.

[Wendy]

She sounded like she was on the closest to goal list, meaning one more donation and boom, she's got him.

[Bert]

This is the owner. Hey, Jay.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Yeah, how you doing?

[Bert]

Is that exactly what that was, that last clip that we played?

[Nick Lachey]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

She was a. She was a 1:1 spot from the closest to her goal.

[Bert]

How does that work?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, obviously, we keep track of who's closest to reaching their surgery goal based on the goal that they set up, depending on, you know, what type of implant they're having and how much they need to raise. And the site in general, it's something we call social funding, which is peer to peer fundraising or, you know, micro fundraising, kind of like micro loans, but people are actually giving you the money.

[Bert]

So the only problem that I really see with the website, because if you can get something for free, why not?

[Wendy]

Why not?

[Bert]

It's the guys that I'm assuming on the website, there's very little that is really, really free. So I'm assuming that dudes that donate money for somebody else's breasts either want to see them, want to come touch them, want to Become friends. There's something just kind of creepy about the whole thing.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's breast implants and it's a sexually charged atmosphere, but it is only online. We go, you know, above and beyond to make sure that you only, you know, keep the communication online. And I mean it's not like MySpace or Facebook where you're giving out email addresses or people know which city you live in, none of that information stored. So it's, it's a completely online community and we've been doing it for over four and a half years and you know, we haven't had any incidences and we've raised money for over 500 women. So it's, it's going quite well.

[Joanna]

But it says you could send and receive custom videos and photos. So how do you monitor the videos and photos that are being sent?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

All monitors, you know, all content is monitored by both our team and on site facilitators. So I mean, we have a, of couple community moderators as well as our team monitoring content. So it's the same situation where you have a social network, you have a bunch of user generated content, you have to take videos down, you have to take photos down, you have to take blogs down, and you rely on your internal team and community moderators to inform you of anything that violates your terms of service.

[Wendy]

Sounds just like Elf Island.

[Bert]

It's nothing like Elf Island.

[Jeff]

What is the motivation for people to donate money to somebody they don't know? What's their motive?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, that's the thing. They really do know them. You know, we're talking about, it's almost 2010 people, people have online friends. People may have never met a lot of their friends in life. I mean, you know, it's, it's not a situation where just because somebody's on the Internet, you don't know them, you're spending time to get to know them. So I mean, no one's going to just log on and look at someone's photo and go, here's $5,000. There's, there's time spent chatting, getting to know people, reading messages. It sounds bizarre, but really these people are getting to know each other and they do want to help them out, whether they're getting free pictures out of it. It's really up to the community. It's totally up to the members in terms of what they share or don't share. So it's, it's not something that we require for our service.

[Bert]

This website almost sounds like a whole bunch of dudes that are sitting around a bar and they're drinking, and one of them makes the joke about starting a website like this, and the other ones all laugh about it. But there's one guy that goes home and goes, maybe that wasn't so funny. Maybe I can make some cash on this. How did you come up with this idea?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

That's really close to.

[Bert]

How is it really?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Yeah, we were actually out in Las Vegas doing about the same thing, and a cocktail waitress had recently had the surgery. Her friend, who was also working, wanted it, and her friend's boyfriend had paid for her procedure, and she was kind of, I guess, soliciting us for a larger tip that would go to her potential surgery. And we thought that was kind of funny. And sure enough, my good friend Jason didn't think it was just funny. He thought it was a good idea and started a site for our friend about four and a half years ago. And she raised the money in four months and the rest is history.

[Nick Lachey]

Wow.

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Joanna]

Is there a limit to how much money you can collect?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, you need a valid quote from a board certified surgeon. So really, we don't see anything more than 12, 13, 14,000. That's the best surgeon with implants with a lift. I mean, everything. But it's usually, you know, around 5 to 7,000.

[Bert]

Wow. I'm trying to think of ways to poke holes in it, but, I mean, what is the argument? If you can get something for free, then why not?

[Joanna]

I guess if you're willing to chat with somebody and spend some time on it, good for you.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It's not totally for. I mean, you are, you're spending time, but people spend a lot of time chatting to friends on MySpace or Facebook and they're not earning money while they're doing it.

[Wendy]

World of boob craft.

[Bert]

I mean, it's. I mean, seriously. I mean, you're basically working for your boobs. You're creating these friendships with the intention of getting money out of the guys that you're talking to and starting conversations with and befriending online.

[Jeff]

It just still sounds kind of creepy, though.

[Wendy]

I mean, it is. Sure, it's not, but it's creepy for the people who are participating. I mean, it's not something you would do.

[Jeff]

No.

[Wendy]

Right. Because, you know, you would get your dad to pay for your boobs or something.

[Jeff]

How about I buy my own?

[Bert]

Well, there are some women that just can't afford it.

[Nick Lachey]

Right, right.

[Jeff]

So then don't get them.

[Bert]

Or why not? Why wouldn't you? Yeah, why would you discount. Why Would you let that stop you? If some complete stranger is willing.

[Wendy]

But why is that creepy?

[Jeff]

Technically, because a complete stranger is gonna want you to, like, let them touch them.

[Bert]

And that's what he's saying is it's

[Jeff]

a person send videos. I mean, he just said they have to have a whole security team internally to monitor the photos and the videos that are going up online. Guess what they are. They're the women showing the boobs to the guys who bought them.

[Wendy]

But they. We have that. Yeah, we have that on our website.

[Joanna]

What?

[Wendy]

We have people who review the comments and the content that goes up on our website.

[Jeff]

Oh, I thought you said we had boobs on.

[Joanna]

I know.

[Bert]

Yeah, I don't know that.

[Jeff]

I don't know. Come on, you guys know there's something creepy.

[Wendy]

It's odd.

[Bert]

It is odd.

[Wendy]

It's odd. But if somebody wants to do it, so be it. I mean, I don't think it's any different than putting up something and collecting money for a charity or.

[Bert]

How is it any different than these women that go out every weekend looking for sugar daddies? It's the same thing, except this is

[Caller/Guest Chris]

an online sugar daddy buying drinks at the bar. I mean, they're trying to get conversation. They're trying to meet people.

[Wendy]

They're trying to see some boobs, too.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It's no different. But we're being honest about it.

[Bert]

Hey, Miranda. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Samantha]

I was just wondering how long of a process it usually is to raise the money.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It's usually.

[Caller Samantha]

How long does it normally take?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Probably about six months to go from start to finish.

[Bert]

About six months.

[Caller Samantha]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

But we've also seen it in two weeks. And, you know, it depends how active you are. We've seen people who are inactive who do it over two years, so it's. It's based on how much time you're spending. Really?

[Jeff]

Hey, I'm sorry. How much does it cost them to set up the account to begin with?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

There's no fee. It's free.

[Bert]

So where are you getting your cash?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, we take a percentage of the donations to run the site.

[Bert]

Okay. Hey, Ali. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Samantha]

Hey, I was wondering, how do they verify that the money actually goes to a breast job and just doesn't go to the girl's pocket?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

The money is held in escrow. So we make the payment directly to

[Wendy]

the surgeon, goes right to the doctor.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Correct. Right. The women never actually have the money. The donations go to an escrow account, and then it's paid directly based on who they choose their surgeon.

[Bert]

When we started this conversation, Wendy was ready to tee off on you. Now she's like, huh? Well, it kind of makes sense to me.

[Joanna]

I mean, it makes sense for those who are willing to do the work, but, I mean, it's not something for me. But I mean, there's. I mean, if you're willing to talk and chat with these guys and send them some photos, maybe. I mean, good for you.

[Wendy]

Would you do it, Wendy?

[Joanna]

No, I wouldn't do it.

[Wendy]

Okay.

[Joanna]

Because I think it's a little creepy

[Jeff]

and she already has great boobs.

[Bert]

What's creepy about it, though? Just that it's a total stranger.

[Joanna]

Because I don't think you get anything for free. I don't think just talking to somebody is free. I think you've got to send something.

[Bert]

And because there is that money exchange, it does make me think that, you know, like, I gotta get something for my money. But you say you've had no instances at all where the guys have got creepy about it and started stalking or demanding their money back or anything like that?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

None to the state? Nope.

[Wendy]

But I think that's something. That's something that could happen no matter what. I mean, I think that's as likely on Facebook or Twitter or MySpace or any social network site.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Yeah, it happens everywhere. And we, you know, because we had. Do have money exchanging, we have to, you know, go above and beyond. And not if you actually give out contact info, if you give out an email address or you give out an instant messenger address or something that could compromise you or put you at risk, we'll actually suspend the account. So we, you know, we take it very seriously.

[Bert]

I'm just going to take one more call here from somebody that's actually used your site before, and she wants to be on the Voice disguiser. Good morning, Mary. You are on the Voice disguiser. Hi.

[Caller Samantha]

Hello.

[Bert]

Good morning.

[Caller Samantha]

How are y' all doing?

[Bert]

Good. So you've. You've used my free implants.com?

[Caller Samantha]

actually, I heard about it. I think it was Thursday or Friday when y' all were talking about it. And I was like, this sounds cool. And, you know, I've had children, and after I had children, they actually went down smaller than what they were before, and it was kind of upsetting. And I went on the site and I just started over the weekend, and I'm pretty active with it, and I think it's a good. I mean, if someone wants to help you out, why not take it? It's nothing bad. I'm not exchanging anything other than pictures of my face. I don't put any pictures of my body on there besides with clothes on. Maybe a full body shot, you know, but it's nothing sexual at all.

[Bert]

Has anybody bid yet or donated?

[Caller Samantha]

Yeah, I've actually had five people already donate.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Wow.

[Joanna]

How much are you up to?

[Caller Samantha]

Well, honestly, I haven't completely figured out the website, and I couldn't figure out how to look to see how much I received already, so I'm still new to it. But it's fun, actually.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It's right on your profile page. But say that one more.

[Caller Samantha]

They're not talking to you in a disrespectful way. You respect them, they respect you, and that's how it is.

[Bert]

And how much did you say you're trying to get?

[Caller Samantha]

I'm trying to get 65.

[Bert]

6,500. And Jay was telling you it should take you about six months to get that.

[Caller Samantha]

If you're average, probably, yeah, six to eight months. I mean, I'm been on there. As soon as I get home, it's almost like Facebook. I get home and I'm checking it to see what's going on.

[Wendy]

Boom. Book.

[Caller Samantha]

It's a great site. I love it. It's awesome.

[Bert]

Cool. All right, Mary, good luck with it.

[Caller Samantha]

Thank you very much. Have a good day.

[Bert]

All right, Jay, I think we were all ready to, like, just tee off on you, and I can't really find a whole bunch of debatable issues here.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Well, we're not doing a bad thing. I mean, people want the service, and people want to help them. We're just there to provide the site, really.

[Jeff]

I think it's fantastic that y' all came up with the idea.

[Bert]

If you're going to come up with an idea like that, it's going to be in Vegas, Right? All right, Jay. Appreciate it, man.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

All right, thanks for having me.

[Bert]

All right, the website is myfreeimplants.com. this is the Birch Show.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Host/Announcer]

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[Bert]

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[Host/Announcer]

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[Jeff]

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[Bert]

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[Host/Announcer]

All right.

[Bert]

Nick Lachey joined the Birch show on Friday after show here and he's just like, how do you explain Nick Lachey? He's like every dude's dude.

[Jeff]

Yeah, I think you've described him as like the non celebrity celebrity because he just doesn't come with that sort of arrogance or attitude. He just seems like a guy that you could sit down and watch some football with and chill out with.

[Joanna]

He's a guy's guy. He is laid back. Chill doesn't get all hyped up into the celebrity world.

[Bert]

So first question we ask him is, I mean if you go online, it sure seems like Nick Lachey's life is really all about party partied in Vegas, party in la, party in Cabo. But what is the dude doing as far as work go? Here's Nick Lachey.

[Nick Lachey]

Yeah, no, I party pretty much all day every day.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Nick Lachey]

Did not disappoint Bird, I haven't been to Cabo or Vegas either one in a long time. But no, today is obviously doing a bunch of press for this new website. Win it that I'm a part of. And then later on we get a little birthday party. So.

[Bert]

Party. See, there it is.

[Joanna]

Yeah.

[Nick Lachey]

Birthday week, though. You know, my. My birthday was Monday. Vanessa's was Monday. So we. This is like birthday week.

[Jeff]

That's kind of cool that you guys share the same day.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It is.

[Nick Lachey]

And isn't, you know, because you kind of want to, you know, you want to be spoiled on your birthday and you realize you got to spoil somebody else on your birthday. So the double edged sword, do you

[Jeff]

have to one up each other with gifts?

[Nick Lachey]

You know, we. We kind of what we do every year, as opposed to getting gifts for each other, we actually take like a birthday trip, usually somewhere warm and all that good stuff.

[Wendy]

But like Cabo or Vegas,

[Nick Lachey]

but it's a double birthday. You can write that one off. But this year, actually, we're not doing it.

[Bert]

And as he is like a dude's dude, we ask him if he picks up hints from Vanessa on what kind of presents that she really wants, because sometimes women will do that and it'll go right past you. Right.

[Nick Lachey]

Well, there's. There's no shortage of present clues that they get dropped throughout the year. So, yeah, if you're not picking up on those, you're just not listening. But that's what I'm saying. In Lua presents, we just. We just take a trip together and we, you know, share our birthday together. And that's our, you know, that's kind of our present to each other.

[Bert]

Right on Snick lachey hanging out with the Birch show this morning.

[Jeff]

You and Vanessa both seem so grounded and so normal, but with such the level of celebrity that both of you have, how do you maintain that?

[Nick Lachey]

Uh, I don't. Yeah, I mean, I guess we try to, you know, try to check each other on that all the time, just, you know, not let her, you know, us get ahead of ourselves. And, you know, it's. Hopefully it's just a reflection of who we are as people. You know, this business is just a business, you know, that's all it is. And if you start to live it as a lifestyle, then I think that's where you get in trouble.

[Bert]

I think we all know in June, you guys hit sort of a rocky patch right there. Like, what happened in the time that you guys were broken up that made you realize, okay, I got to get this girl back into my Life.

[Nick Lachey]

I mean, I think it's perspective, like, you know, like for any other couple. You know, sometimes, you know, absence is what you need. You need to have that perspective that, you know what? This is an important person in my life, and, you know, I want to try and make it happen again. So I think we both got to that place where we realized that, you know, we missed each other and wanted to be in each other's lives, and, you know, that's how it goes.

[Wendy]

Similar to how you felt about the Birch show, which is why, after only three years, you've joined us again on the phone.

[Nick Lachey]

I was actually aching for the Birch Show.

[Bert]

Now, really, what I heard him sort of say, or I wanted him to say, is that when he started dating, he realized that there wasn't anybody out there better than Vanessa. So I started to try to take him down that path.

[Nick Lachey]

No, no, no, it wasn't. I mean, I'm not at a place in my life where I'm. Where I'm anxious to go and date a thousand girls and do all that. I feel like I've kind of been there before, and I'm more of a relationship person anyway. So, you know, it's just a. Just, you know, it's growing pains for a relationship. Like, you know, any other couple goes through. You know, you realize what's important to you, and then, you know, you make it happen. So it wasn't about that at all. About dating.

[Joanna]

Is there marriage in the future anytime soon?

[Nick Lachey]

I'm sure at some point there will be. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's. That's. I definitely want to be married again. I want to have a family and kids and all that stuff. So in the right. In the right timing, there will be all that good stuff.

[Bert]

On the scale of eagerness to get married, who is more eager, you or Vanessa?

[Nick Lachey]

Oh, I'd say it's a dead heat bird.

[Bert]

Oh, dude, you're not giving me anything. You're giving me nothing. So there's this rumor now that Jessica Simpson has contacted him for professional reasons.

[Jeff]

She's got that show, right.

[Bert]

Reality TV show, and she really needs her next project to do well. So there's this rumor circulating around that she contacted Nick, because if Nick and Jessica are on the same show together, people are gonna watch that huge.

[Jeff]

And I have to tell you, if you had asked me a similar question, my response would have been as deadpan as his.

[Nick Lachey]

I hadn't heard that rumor. And, yeah, no, there's no truth in that at all.

[Bert]

There's been no connection. No Call.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

No.

[Bert]

Nothing, huh?

[Caller/Guest Chris]

No.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Wendy]

Nope.

[Bert]

You're good at this. Now, Nick. Not giving us anything now

[Jeff]

doesn't sound like there's much to give in that situation.

[Nick Lachey]

We were talking about winnet.com. i thought that's why I was calling.

[Bert]

Well, let's talk about it. Yeah. What is. What is this thing?

[Nick Lachey]

Have you guys been on the site yet?

[Bert]

I went a little bit yesterday and checked it out, but I didn't. I mean, it was just for a couple of seconds and I didn't understand. The low bid wins on something like this.

[Nick Lachey]

Yeah, it's as opposed to like a traditional auction site, like. Like ebay. On this particular site, it's the lowest unique bid that wins. So you have to, you know, you. Basically, it's the whole reverse mentality. It's a dollar per bid, and then at the end of the auction period, whoever has the lowest unique bid wins. So you get, like, ipods for, you know, 67 cents and stuff like that. It's crazy deals.

[Bert]

All right, so through all that, he's saying there's been no contact with Jessica whatsoever is really what he was saying. And then he went on to tell us a little bit about the charity angle on this new website he's working with.

[Nick Lachey]

We kind of wanted to have a philanthropic side to the site when we set it up. So every month we're giving a portion of our proceeds to a different charity. The first month it was Feeding America, and then this month it's the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. So this is National Diabetes Month, and actually the 14th is national diabetes Day. So what we're trying to do is raise awareness for juvenile diabetes especially, and also give some money back at the end of the month.

[Wendy]

I would imagine you get approached with projects and entrepreneurial ventures and charities and music and television and reality television probably about 50 times a day. How do you select the ones that you're going to give more than one minute of your consideration to?

[Nick Lachey]

Well, in terms of the site, the concept of the site was something I'd never really heard of before. I thought it was really unique. Could be something neat to get behind. And as far as what charities we go, Feeding America is something I've been involved with for about three years. I sit on their Entertainment Council and the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Juvenile diabetes has really touched my life in a lot of ways. My uncle has lived his whole life with diabetes. My cousin the same thing. One of my dear friends and co founders of the site has juvenile diabetes. So, I mean, there's a lot of people out There who, you know, have to contend with it every day. And it just seemed like a really relevant, really relevant cause to get behind this month.

[Bert]

So what I didn't realize until we started interviewing Nick was that he did an episode of are you smarter than a fifth grader?

[Jeff]

Yeah.

[Bert]

So Melissa asked him about it because it really is a no win situation if you're Nick lachey. It's a no win situation. If you win, you're supposed to. Because you're Nick lachey and you're an adult. And if you lose, you just lost to a fifth grader.

[Nick Lachey]

No, it's horribly intimidating.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

It's the worst thing.

[Nick Lachey]

These kids know it, and it's all the stuff that you think, like, you should know and you should remember after all these years, but you're standing up there and you have no idea. It's a pretty intimidating show to be on.

[Joanna]

That show will make you feel stupid.

[Wendy]

Oh, crazy. That's a tough one to watch.

[Bert]

It really is. I would never, ever in a million years. That's the one game show I was. Would never go on. No, you can't win. And then there is, you know, Nick, are you ever gonna hit the studio again? I mean. Cause at this point, let's be honest, Nick is probably more known for being in the tabloids and his relationships than he is his music at this point.

[Jeff]

At this point, you're right.

[Bert]

So is he planning on hitting the studio anytime soon?

[Nick Lachey]

Yeah, no. My album's pretty much done. It's supposed to come out the beginning of next year. So I'm just in negotiations with jive records, as they say, to figure out the. The marketing plan for. For the album. But, yeah, the album's done. I feel great about it and excited to get it out there.

[Bert]

Cool, man. When it comes out, come by Atlanta and you can ache in studio with us, and we'd love to tell people about it. Okay.

[Nick Lachey]

I would love to.

[Bert]

All right, Nick. And good luck with winnet.com too.

[Nick Lachey]

Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

[Bert]

Thanks, man. See you next time you're in Atlanta.

[Nick Lachey]

You got it. Take care.

[Bert]

Bye.

[Caller/Guest Chris]

Bye.

[Bert]

So that's Nick lachey on the show. He really is just a dude's dude.

[Joanna]

He's awesome.

[Bert]

Here, bircha. PGA tour golfer Jason day and truegreen recently teamed up for a digital yard sale where his used lawn care equipment was listed on Facebook marketplace. The twist?

[Nick Lachey]

Instead of picking up his used spreader

[Bert]

or sprayer, homeowners walked away with a

[Nick Lachey]

full year of lawn care from trugreen. Trugreen is making sure no homeowner misses

[Bert]

out on a golf course.

[Nick Lachey]

Quality lawn this season.

[Bert]

Now through May 21, homeowners can sign

[Nick Lachey]

up to get their first Trugreen Lawn Care service for only $9.95.

[Bert]

Visit trugreen.com when it's time to scale

[Joanna]

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[Host/Announcer]

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