Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 10

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 10

Date: November 10, 2025
Cast: Bert, Host of The Bert Show, Co-hosts/Commentators, Father Bailey (“Father Crunk”), various callers

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is packed with humor, real-life dating drama, and an unconventional sermon from Atlanta’s own Father Bailey. The team first unpacks a jaw-dropping true story of a disastrous JDate outing that spirals into legal threats over a $50 dinner bill, sparking laughter, incredulity, and calls from listeners. Later, Father Bailey joins for a fun and thoughtful segment, blending pop culture, biblical wisdom, and a little R&B into life advice about breakups and love.

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Key Segment Summaries

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1. Dating Disaster: The $50 JDate Saga

[01:03–19:30]

Story Breakdown

• The story: A CEO named Darren Sherman goes on a JDate with Joanne at New York’s upscale China Grill.
  • She's willing to split the bill, but Darren insists on covering it, saying she can “get the next one.” She’s open to another date at this point.
• Post-date awkwardness:
  • Darren later decides there will be no second date and emails Joanne, asking for $50 to split the dinner (implying she owes him since there won’t be a future date).
  • Joanne ignores him, but he persists—leaving increasingly insistent and bizarre voicemails, and threatening to contact her employer and even take her to small claims court.

Progressive Escalation (with timestamps and quotes):

• Initial Email from Darren:

  • “Sorry things didn’t work out, I guess you changed your mind. Here is my address for the 50 bucks.” ([03:09])
  • Panel debates what might have happened to sour the match.

• Repeating Voicemails and Demands:

  • Darren:
    • “I was hoping you were gonna do the right thing here, you know, disappointed, but...I don't want to really keep calling you and emailing you, you know, issuing you a summons. But it's your call. For $50, you know, I suggest you do the right thing. You ate the food, you drank the wine. You never called. It's been two and a half weeks, so what do you want me to do?” ([04:49])
    • Repeated refrain: “Do the right thing, Joanne.” ([06:17], [16:28])

• Joanne’s Response:

  • “I had every intention of calling you and meeting to go out, but your email has completely turned me off and I find it extremely tacky...In the dating world, you may want to rethink the tacky approach of asking someone for money like that.” ([08:04])
  • “As far as I’m concerned, that’s it. End of story. I didn’t know that your paying the bill was contingent on me going out with you again.” ([11:08])

• Darren Threatening Legal Action:

  • “You can only hide so much behind emails. And so, it’s your call, but I’m going to flesh it out and reach out to your employer and issue the summons...” ([09:53])
  • “If your boss wants to get a phone call from me, your call is $50. I suggest that you pay because I’m going to. I’m going to be on top of. You know, it’s not right what you did, and so I’m not going to be taken advantage of...” ([12:29])

• Escalation to Restaurant:

  • After threatening small claims court, Darren then calls China Grill’s manager to intervene.
  • The manager leaves Joanne a message: “Hi, Joanne. This is Carol Serena, the GM at China Grill. I understand there was a discrepancy with the bill...If you could call me back...we'll get this all settled and taken care of.” ([16:49])
  • The restaurant then comps Joanne’s bill and even offers her free drinks. ([17:08])

Host and Co-host Commentary

• Panel’s Take:

  • “Now I know why she didn’t go out with him again. What a boring conversation.” — Burt ([13:48])
  • “Do you think that every time she gets this voicemail she gets all of her cube like, you guys gotta listen to this?” — Co-host ([13:51])
  • “I wonder if this little incident right here is one of those wars that Mel Gibson was talking about between Darren and what’s her name.” — Burt ([14:41])
  • “She needs to counter sue him for sexual harassment...That isn’t dating. That’s prostitution.” — Caller Linda ([18:19], [18:33])
  • Laughter abounds as they imagine the office gathering around every time yet another message comes in.
  • The hosts joke about Darren’s obsessive calculation: “His friends all left years ago when he became the guy who split the bill using the calculator in his checkbook.” — Burt ([17:59])

• Takeaway: The panel expresses a mix of disbelief and amusement over Darren’s escalation, ultimately siding with Joanne and marveling at the story’s longevity and public fallout.

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2. Life, Love, & Laughs with Father Bailey ("Father Crunk")

[21:13–32:29]

Segment Overview

Father Bailey, a recurring guest known as “Father Crunk,” brings his comedic and insightful perspective to relationships by tying together Hollywood gossip, spirituality, and self-improvement.

Topics Covered

• Father Bailey’s Bald Spot Admission

  • Shares that he’s going bald, leading to a playful riff on 70s style and congregational honesty.
  • “Karen Browning, man. You know, you did it now, man.” — Father Bailey ([22:21])
  • Burt: “And now, now a reading from the book of keep your mouth shut if I’m bald.” ([22:38])

• Carmen Electra’s Relationship Moves and Biblical Parallels

  • Touches on Carmen Electra’s publicized breakup and rumored new romance with Jamie Foxx.
  • Reads and riffs on Carmen’s real quote about cosmetic surgery.
  • “You can’t treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery.” ([22:56])
  • “If you do anything on MTV, man, the magic will last, bro.” ([24:27])
  • Cautions against “upgrading” to a new relationship too quickly after heartbreak, connecting pop culture to biblical lessons.
  • “What she is doing is not the best thing in the world...When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness...ain’t the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up.” ([24:43])
  • Emphasizes loving yourself, healing, and not using people as placeholders or replacements.

• Atlanta Shout-outs and Creative “Sermon-Rap”

  • Father Bailey delivers a spirited, gospel-rap inspired message blending R&B lyrics (“Unpredictable” by Jamie Foxx and Ludacris) with biblical lessons and self-love.
  • “Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right.” ([26:41])
  • “You can do it, baby. Do it when you do it tonight.” ([28:08])
  • “Don’t treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere, and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood.” ([32:03])

Notable Quotes (with timestamps)

• “People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs.” — Father Bailey ([26:59])
• “If you loving somebody and you're about to get out your relationship because of hurt, of pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right.” — Father Bailey ([31:09])
• “Although Father Bailey can't rap, and although Father Bailey can't sing, you got to understand that in the way y' all accept me and love me, I accept and love y' all in the same way.” — Father Bailey ([30:50])
• “Atlanta, Georgia, it’s your boy, Father Bailey, checking out...Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery.” ([32:11])

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Notable Moments and Memorable Quotes

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | | --------- | ----- | ------- | | 04:49 | “You ate the food, you drank the wine. You never called. It's been two and a half weeks, so what do you want me to do?... Do the right thing, Joanne.” | Darren (voicemail) | | 08:04 | “I had every intention of calling you and meeting to go out, but your email has completely turned me off and I find it extremely tacky... I would rather not hear from you at all.” | Joanne (via host reading email) | | 12:29 | “I will be issuing a summons to your job for the money. So you ate the food, you drank the wine. Finally pay your dinner.” | Darren (voicemail) | | 19:16 | “And that is all a true story. So consider yourself lucky if you come out of the weekend on a date and this doesn’t happen to you.” | Host of The Bert Show | | 22:56 | “You can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery.” | Father Bailey | | 26:59 | “People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs.” | Father Bailey | | 28:08 | “Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right.” | Father Bailey | | 31:09 | “If you loving somebody and you're about to get out your relationship because of hurt or pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right.” | Father Bailey |

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | | --------- | ------- | | 01:03 | Beginning of the JDate story | | 04:49 | First bizarre Darren voicemail | | 08:04 | Joanne’s cutting email response | | 12:29 | Darren threatens legal action, employer | | 16:49 | China Grill manager calls Joanne | | 17:24 | Restaurant sides with Joanne, comps meal | | 19:16 | Hosts wrap up JDate segment | | 21:13 | Father Bailey ("Father Crunk") joins segment | | 22:56–28:08 | Sermon on love, plastic surgery, and taking time to heal | | 31:09 | Closing message: “Take your time and do it right.” |

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Episode Takeaways

• Modern Dating Pitfalls: The team’s breakdown of “the $50 JDate” saga is a hilarious but incisive commentary on entitlement, expectations, and etiquette in online dating. The panel’s running jokes keep the tone light even as the story grows outlandish. They unequivocally sympathize with Joanne, lampooning Darren’s irrational expectations and legal threats.
• Self-love and Relationships: Father Bailey turns Hollywood gossip into a teachable moment, advocating self-respect, patience, and internal healing before jumping into new relationships.
• Authenticity, Humor, Community: True to their brand, The Bert Show weaves real drama, candid advice, and their Atlanta community into relatable, highly entertaining radio.

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Final Thought

If you need a reason to laugh at the absurdities of modern romance and celebrity culture—or want a side of soul, R&B, and spirituality with your morning radio—this installment of The Bert Show has you covered. And above all: “Take your time and do it right. You can do it, baby.”

Transcript

[Father Bailey]

Did I talk too much?

[Burt]

Can't I just let it go?

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Host of The Birch Show]

The Bird Show. You guys are going to absolutely love this. At first I didn't think it was true. I just thought it was kind of urban legend. But it turns out that everything I'm about to tell you is a true story. At least Snopes has looked into it and they said there is nothing that we can find that says that this is not a true story. Okay. All right. So as the story goes, Darren Sherman, who is a CEO of Regulatory Advisory Services in New York, it's a private financial consulting firm. High ranking dude. Really high ranking dude, okay, goes on JDate and finds a woman named Joanne he wants to go out with. Now, for those of you that aren't familiar with JDate, it's basically match.com for Jewish people. Okay, okay, okay.

[Burt]

So because most Jewish people date within their religion, right, Bert?

[Host of The Birch Show]

I can't comment on that. I've only been Jewish for very convenient.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Amounts of time, save that.

[Host of The Birch Show]

I was.

[Burt]

Only Jewish through my bar mitzvah. Then once I got the gifts, adios.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Jeff is right, though, there. I mean, and I think it's no different than in other religions. Also, sometimes you want to just date people within your own religion. So on JDate, these are people that are very serious about being Jewish people. So they want to only date and have futures with people that are Jewish. Anyway, very small part of the story. So Darren and Joanne, they go out and they go to a place called China Grill in New York City. I have never been, but from what I understand, it's A really, really nice place in New York.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I think they have another one in Las Vegas that I've been to and it's awesome.

[Host of The Birch Show]

It's really good.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah, super nice. Fancy.

[Burt]

I've never been there, but it's like one of the celebrity spots. Yeah, in both cities. I think there might even be one in LA too.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So these two go out on their date and I guess have a decent enough time. But at the end of the date, and this is a key ingredient here, she offers to split the bill with him. And he says, nah, nah, nah, don't worry about it, I'll pick it up. Right.

[Co-host/Commentator]

I'm a big time guy from this.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Private investor firm, I'll take care of it. You know, I think most guys probably handle it that way. No, don't worry about it. I'll take care of this one. I'll see you again next week and.

[Burt]

Then we'll have sex and it'll be.

[Host of The Birch Show]

All worth it sometime from the end of their dinner to the next morning, he was starting to think, you know what, that just didn't go so well last night. I know that there's not going to be a second date happens. So when Joanne gets into the office, he has sent her an email already. And the email just says this, it says, sorry things didn't work out, I guess you changed your mind. Here is my address for the 50 bucks. And it has his mailing address. That's all it says. So I'm assuming at this point the bill came to $100, something dollars and because he feels like it's not gonna work between them or there's not gonna be another date, he's already saying, look, here's my address, send me a check for 50 bucks.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So something must have happened at the end of the night where she told him, like, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna see you anymore, or I'm not gonna go to bed with you or whatever it was.

[Host of The Birch Show]

I don't know if that's true because I'm go an email in a couple of minutes here that pretty much she says to him, I was really thinking about going out with you again, but since all this has happened, I can't. So at least in her mind there was a chance of a second date.

[Co-host/Commentator]

So she didn't close the door at the end of the day. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Apparently she didn't close the door at the end of the date.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Gotcha.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So this was just his assumption. That's why he sends out the email. She looks at it and she's like, this is a little crazy, but doesn't respond to it. Just lets it go. So he goes back to his email, and he sees that he doesn't get a response, and he starts stewing about it a little bit. And he fires off a voicemail message to her, calls her on her phone, and leaves this voicemail message. This is real. Okay.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Hey, Joan. Darren. I was hoping you were gonna do the right thing here, you know, disappointed, but I'm hoping you're gonna turn around and do the right thing, because I don't want to really keep calling you and emailing you, you know, issuing you a summons. But it's your call. For $50, you know, I suggest you do the right thing. You ate the food, you drank the wine. You said you were going to call. You never called. It's been two and a half weeks, so what do you want me to do? You know, you took advantage as far as I can see. And so you know my policy. It's, you know, first beat, we go dutch. You said you wanted to go out a second time, so I picked up the bill, end of story. But you never called me back after two and a half weeks. So I'm asking for the money. And so I'm hoping, gonna do the right thing. Be a mensch. And the next time you go around dating, you know, you know, be careful because don't leave guys on, which is what you did with me. So anyway, that is on the wayside. This is just business. And $50, please. Put it in the mail and we're done. You never have to hear from me again. Otherwise, I'm just gonna, you know, keep on top of this. And I don't think you want me to keep on top of this. It's your call. Don't be cheap here. Just get it done. Drop it in the mail, her, be cheap, say sayonara. Which is what I'm hoping you're gonna do. Do the right thing here. Don't take advantage of people. You ate the food, you drank the wine. You didn't call back in two and a half weeks.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Okay.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Do the right thing.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Okay, so we're starting to piece things together here a little bit. Creepy repeater guy.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Yeah.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So I guess the date ends. She says, all right, I'll give you a call in a couple of days. Two and a half weeks goes by, so obviously there's not gonna be another date.

[Burt]

Now.

[Host of The Birch Show]

This dude's feeling stiffed.

[Burt]

I think, what? Because we could post the whole thing because somebody sent this out like it Got posted on a blog in New York, and now it's making the rounds, like, you know, whatever. So we could post the whole thing. But it's a very long story. But the short version is they did go out, they had dinner, they went on a date. And she said at the date, according to him, she offered to pay. And then he said, no, you can get the next one. And she agreed. She said, okay. So that's where his. Okay, that's where his hiccup is.

[Host of The Birch Show]

That's where. That's the breach of integrity.

[Burt]

So there was no right on. There was no commitment to another date. There was no whatever. It was just kind of like, you get this and I'll get the next one, whatever. And she didn't like him. So when he started calling her and saying, hey, I had a great time last night. Let's do it again, she just didn't call him back. And we've discussed this on the air. What is it, two or three calls and then you just give up?

[Host of The Birch Show]

Let it go. Right.

[Burt]

Well, he didn't give up because he wants his $50.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So she listens to that very voicemail message, and again, she doesn't respond back to him. She walks into the office and this email is waiting for her. It says, joanne, I wanted to follow up on my email and call to you last night to ensure you receive my Messages for the $50. Please acknowledge by replying to this email that you will be sending me the 50 bucks. I hope you understand from my point of view. Thanks, Darren.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Okay, why do I feel like we're being led on to, like, some TV movie at the end of this? This is all some big promotion for something else.

[Host of The Birch Show]

No, there's not. There really isn't. Unless it's China Grill. She responds back with this email to him. Darren, I just received your emails and also your message from last night. I was away and am just sent getting back to it this morning. I had every intention of calling you and meeting to go out, but your email has completely turned me off and I find it extremely tacky. I will not be sending you any money since I offered that night to pay and you told me no that you would take care of it. Please do not call me or send me another email. I would rather not hear from you at all. And for future reference, in the dating world, you may want to rethink the tacky approach about asking someone for money like that. Perhaps that is why you haven't met anyone or. Or have seen them again. So he's reading that and he is just getting pissed, right? So he cuts and he pastes his American Express bill into an email, and he only writes on it in bold letters, do the right thing, Joanne.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Yes.

[Burt]

Now, I think in his defense, the total bill actually comes to about 130 bucks. So he's letting her off.

[Host of The Birch Show]

He's just trying to be nice about it.

[Burt]

I'm guessing this guy, I'm just guessing, is like, probably a 10% tipper. 50 bucks is that important to him? I'm guessing he's not throwing down the full 18%. So his whole bill came to like, let's say $145. He only wants 50 bucks from her. He's technically absorbing two thirds of the meal. Do the right thing, Joanne. I'm with you.

[Host of The Birch Show]

The email comes in. She's like, what is. What is this dude's problem? Doesn't respond back to it. Four hours later, he sends another voicemail message and he calls her back and he leaves this message.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Joan, this is Darren. She's calling to follow up on my email to you. It seems like you're sort of hiding behind emails. If you care to chat, reach out to me. I'm gonna, you know, flesh this out. And you can only hide so much behind emails. And so it's your call, but I'm going to flesh it out and reach out to your employer and issue the summons and, you know, your call. You can hide behind the emails or you can drop the $50 bill that you owe me in the mail. My next call is going to be down to your employer, and I'm going to be going down to the courthouse very soon, probably within the next few days, and issuing the summons.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Garnish her wages for dinner. He's going to call the employer and garnish the wages. Okay. She writes back to him. She doesn't want to call him.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

She.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So she writes back an email and it says this. I'm truly sorry it didn't work out. You seem like a nice guy, but after your voicemails, you've now entered the world of a first class creep. Dating is not business. I offered to go Dutch at the time the bill came and you declined. As far as I'm concerned, that's it. End of story. I didn't know that you're paying. The bill was contingent on me going out with you again. Once again, I think you need to look internally as to why things are not working out for you in the dating world. You'd mentioned that you had been burned several times, and I'm sorry. If you feel that it has happened to you again. But perhaps it's your approach in dealing with others that leads to this. Dating and relationships and business are completely different. And there's not a quid pro quo for eating and drinking on a date. If this is how you think it works, perhaps you should consult a professional who could take care of all your needs. If I remember correctly, it was your choice to go out to dinner. I would have been just as happy to take a walk in the park to get to know you. With that said, please feel free. Please feel free to call my employer or issue a summons if you think that this will help. Your message has said that you will not drop this, and I am not one to be bullied or threatened. I have saved all your messages, and if you choose to go ahead with your threats, then I'll be more than happy to notify the proper authorities and get a restraining order. I will also let your clients and employees know about your erratic and bizarre behavior, which is certainly what she's doing now by posting these on the Internet. Darren calls her office again. No. He's so ticked off when he gets this email, he calls the office and leaves this message.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Joan, this is Darren's calling. I just got your email. Obviously, you know, we're at a crossroads. You know, I really would like to leave off in a somewhat leisurely way here, but I am expecting the money and really don't want to have to go above your head and, you know, contact your employer, tell them to date JDating on JDATE and also issue you a summons at your job for just $15. I can do so and I will. So it's your call whether you want to get a summons at work, and if your boss wants to get a phone call from me, Your call is 50 bucks. I suggest that you pay because I'm going to. I'm going to be on top of. You know, it's not right what you did, and so I'm not going to be taken advantage of, and so I'm not going to let it go. And so it's your call whether you want to pay up voluntarily or not. But I will be reaching out to your boss by end of day today if I don't hear from you. So it's your call, and I will be issuing a summons to your job for the money. So you ate the food, you drank the wine. Finally pay your dinner. Just business at this point.

[Burt]

Now I know why she didn't go out with him again. What a boring conversation.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Oh, my God. Do you think that every time she gets this voicemail she gets all of her cube like, you guys gotta listen to this.

[Father Bailey]

Oh my God, he called again. He called again.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Like she sends out like the company wide email and everybody's crowded around the speakerphone.

[Father Bailey]

Listen to this.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Oh my God.

[Burt]

No work got done in that office that day. None is zero. Because they, you know what they did is they just sat by her phone and waited for the little light to.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Go big, big, right?

[Burt]

Oh yeah, somebody going, hey, yeah, listen, I just got a problem with my invoice. Oh, damn it. Delete next.

[Father Bailey]

And, and this certainly does not perpetuate.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Any stereotype about them meeting on J. I know. Jewish. I know, right? That's not gonna help, right? Yeah, exactly. Is fighting over 50 bucks. So she gets that voicemail message and like you say, right? Everybody's probably crowded around listening, you know, 28 minutes goes by, he calls back.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Again and everybody's going touchdown again.

[Burt]

I wonder if this little incident right here is one of those wars that Mel Gibson was talking about between Darren.

[Host of The Birch Show]

And what's her name, you know, somewhere Mel's going. You see? See what I'm talking about? See what I'm talking about? 28 minutes goes by, she hasn't called him back. He leaves this voicemail message for her. 28 minutes later.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Hey, sorry for any inconvenience. This is Darren, he's calling. I just got off the phone with the general manager of China Grill. I ask the person to reach out to you directly and you can just take it as you wish. If you want to settle the matter directly with China Grill and pay half of your share, it's probably the best way to go. So the person will be calling you up hopefully by end of day today. You can take a proactive approach and call them up directly if you choose to. I would encourage you to do that and just get this matter solved. You know, if we think this matter solved, as I said, I'm going to be issuing a summons if we can't get anywhere. So obviously, you know, this doesn't benefit anyone. It's your call and sorry you're upset, but you know, it is what it is. It's really just business at this point. So, you know, obviously I'm going to go forward so hope we can clear the matter up and just part ways and appeal call. All is completely in your court. I outlined everything I'm gonna do and I'm gonna do exactly as I said. I think you see that now and it is just on your side. Whether you want to, you know, not do anything and just hide.

[Host of The Birch Show]

You ate the food, you drank the wine.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Once, twice. So do it. You know, put some money with your mouth. Is. I'm looking to settle this nicely, but, you know, the hiding and you're not acting right. So do the right thing. Bye.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Do the right thing, Joanne. All right, so he's. Now, he said he's called the China Grill, talked to a manager and said, here's what's going on. Here's the phone number of Joanne. Will you give her a call and try to settle this yourself? All right, Couple of hours later, Darren doesn't call back. China Grill. Now call Joanne.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, Joanne. This is Carol Serena, the GM at China Grill. I understand there was a discrepancy with the bill today, that we wanted to split it between you and your friend Darren. If you could call me back at 2 1,088, I'd greatly appreciate it, and we'll get this all settled and taken care of.

[Darren (voicemail sender)]

Thank you.

[Host of The Birch Show]

So now she's got the restaurant on her butt also.

[Co-host/Commentator]

Well, I'm sure that he was badgering the restaurant ten times as much as he was badgering her.

[Host of The Birch Show]

No doubt, because she ate your food and she drank your water. All right, now, the good news is, China, she calls back China Grill and tells them everything that's been going on, and they completely comp it for her, and they even give her free drinks the next time she's in. So that's how the whole thing ends. But can you believe this dude?

[Co-host/Commentator]

He's wound so tight. It's like, you know, it's time to leave New York. When do you think that he is sitting there with all his friends? You know, when you have any sort of relationship drama going on, you sit around with your friends and you talk to them about it. And he's sitting there going, this girl, she won't pay the 50 bucks for my meal. You know? And do you think his friends are like, right on, man.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Yeah, because you get that 50 because you surround yourself with people that are like you. So they're like, it's not your fault, dude. I mean, if she's gonna be like this, if she's gonna eat the food and drink the wine, she's gotta pay.

[Co-host/Commentator]

No, I don't think this guy has any friends. I don't think he has anything to do with his time.

[Burt]

I was gonna say he's probably not sitting around talking to his friends because his friends all left years ago when he became the guy who split the bill using the calculator in his checkbook. Okay, my share with tip is 2308, so I'm gonna need 92 cent.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Hey, Linda. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, this guy's a stereotype, but I don't think it's the one you're using. But he is a class jerk. There isn't a judge on earth that would listen to half of that plea.

[Host of The Birch Show]

I would. I would almost like it to go to court so we can hear it on nyc.

[Caller/Listener]

She needs to counter sue him for sexual harassment. You know, idiots like he have been trying to say that if they. If they pay, then you better play. And that isn't dating. That's prostitution. And she ought to be running him up the wires. She ought to be posting it on his company website. And, oh, by the way, she ought to find out the dude's wife's name because, you know, that's going on, too.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Well, he already knows. I mean, she posted all of this up online. I mean, and this email that has these voicemails in it and a transcript of everything that's gone down has been circulating now for about a week and a half. So he's got a scarlet letter on him now, right?

[Co-host/Commentator]

That is too funny.

[Host of The Birch Show]

And that is all a true story. So consider yourself lucky if you come out of the weekend on a date and this doesn't happen to you. You know, every Jewish person in the city right now is going, no, no, no.

[Burt]

First Mount Gibson, now Darren of New.

[Host of The Birch Show]

York, the Birch Show.

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[Burt]

Did I talk too much? Can I just let it go?

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[Host of The Birch Show]

I am sanctified.

[Father Bailey]

God must be glorified.

[Host of The Birch Show]

We call him Father Crunk. It is Father Bailey from the Holy Spirit Catholic church. Yeah, he's a real priest. He's got the whole collar and the do rag to prove it.

[Father Bailey]

Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed.

[Host of The Birch Show]

How are you today, sir?

[Father Bailey]

I'm doing good, man, but you know, I realized last week.

[Host of The Birch Show]

What's that?

[Father Bailey]

I'm going bald.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Are you?

[Father Bailey]

Yeah, I got a ball spot at the top of this. So that's why I cut the fro off, man. You know, a photo look good with a little ball spot, you know what I'm saying? So I had to cut that down, man. Had to bring it back to the basics.

[Burt]

That's very 1970s. What's that afro with the bald spots?

[Father Bailey]

Yeah, man, it doesn't work, man. It's like, you know, a bad episode of good times.

[Burt]

Only if you come in like on roller skates or something, you know, looking all 1976.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Where did you spot it? Because that's, that's a place that you will never ever.

[Father Bailey]

Well, no, man, check it out. You know, like every time you celebrate mass after you put the Eucharist back on the altar. Eugenia Flick. Which is a profound, you know, act of reverence. And one of the ladies at the church said, oh, Father Bailey, I thought you got a bald spot.

[Host of The Birch Show]

I'm like, oh, man, somebody pointed it out to you.

[Father Bailey]

Yeah, man, I thought she was my people too, bro.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Sorry.

[Father Bailey]

You know, I mean, Karen Browning, man. You know, you did it now, man.

[Host of The Birch Show]

You did it.

[Father Bailey]

You did it. But I love her.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Anyway, I think, you know, as reading from in the Bible, you just don't know who you can trust.

[Father Bailey]

You exactly, man. You know, I got a bald spot, man. Gotta deal with, with him, man. So, you know, stepping my game a little bit.

[Burt]

And now, now a reading from the book of keep your mouth shut if I'm bald.

[Father Bailey]

Exactly, exactly.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Father Bailey joins us every week and he takes a look at Hollywood and he says, look, there's a lot of dysfunction going on in California. But you don't have to laugh at it. You can embrace it and apply it to some stuff that's going on in the Bible. So what do you have today?

[Father Bailey]

Well, today we're going to talk about Carmen Electra and the title that you get off the websites. Carmen Electra is moving on and moving on up. And it says Carmen Electra just announced her separation from Dave Navarro last week and she's not wasting any time. She's already been spotted with Jamie Foxx leaving together from the Hollywood hotspot element for Carmen, it could be considered trading up. Jamie is one of the highest paid stars in town and he and Colin Farrell each pulling in $20 million for Miami Vice. So I want to go ahead and title the talk this morning. Baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right now. Of course, Carmen lecture does not have a quote about this whole breakup, but there's something I found from the World Entertainment News Network and I want to try to use this as the launching point for my whole talk today. She said, and I quote, and believe me, I quote, I had nice breasts to begin with. They were not the biggest boobs. But I just think it was really trendy to have implants at a certain time. So I decided to do it. There are moments when I think it's kind of silly and I wish that it would not have just. I wish that I would have stayed natural. Now, I would say you can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery. Now, if you look at the facts, on November 23, 2003, she married Dave Navarro, the formerly guitarist of the rock band Janus Addiction. The couple documented courtship and marriage on MTV 2004. Called to death do us part. I seem to think that if you do anything on mtv, man, the magic will last, bro.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Any kind of reality TV show, but especially mtv, I think, right?

[Father Bailey]

I don't want nobody do a reality show about the priesthood, man. You know, Leave me alone.

[Host of The Birch Show]

It's the devil's channel.

[Father Bailey]

There you go, man, you know, who.

[Burt]

Are you gonna split up with? They do a reality TV show on you? I mean, yeah, man, I ain't going nowhere, man.

[Father Bailey]

I love doing what I'm doing. Yeah, well, whatever. Yes, Atlanta, once again it's on this Poppins Father Cronk. And you know, it ain't no stopping. This morning we're going to talk about topic that is always an issue in Hollywood and an issue that is always present in our own lives. That is the blessing and the topic of love. I am sure and certain that we all have been or we all are in love with someone. However, we focus on the story of love between Carmen Electra, the so, so fine and so, so tight woman. And like the Jefferson's word on the street is that her publicized breakup with the lead guitarist Dave Navarro of the rock band Jane Addiction. Now comments wasted no time in moving on up. And as they said in the 1970s television show like George and Wheezy, where we're moving on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Yes, we're moving on up. And you know what my friends, we must understand that Carmen is all about, according to the media, that her piece of the pie is the ever so popular and talented Jamie Foxx. Now we can only take the word of Hollywood with a grain of salt, but it's important to understand the actual factuals of what love is all about. Now look inside the Bible and you'll notice that it is a book that is full of stories. Stories of drama, mess and the lack of faith that many people have in their own lives. However, what makes the Bible so cool and relevant to the lives of so many people is the reality of God's great love for us. From the beginning, when God reveals His love and compassion to all of us in the books of the Bible, from the prophets to the Psalms to the Gospels and even the early letters of the church, we remember, celebrate and believe in the great love that God has for all of us us. So one could conclude that the Bible is God's great love story for all of us. However, there's something going on with Carmen's love story in her own book. Now my personal opinion and if the so called reports of Carmen upgrading from Dave Navarro to Jamie Foxx is actually true, then what she is doing is not the best thing in the world. I'm not being a hater in any way, but I believe that we should know that when you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness one, like somebody may say, they change their draws. It ain't the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up. Now I can only say this because like so many of you, I've been in love. I have loved so many special women who were blessing to me in my life. But when I went from one lady to the other with the quickness, I found out that I was never ever really happy. Now when I had that time alone and I could save that money, buy my Jordans, get myself a new watch, I found out that I was happy and cool with being with myself. Being happy and taking time to learn from what happened in the past relationship and trying to get the best and be the best that we can for the other person in the new relationship is the best route to go. Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right. You can do it, baby. Do it when you do it tonight. For all of y' all who think that it's the best way to deal with your broken heart by upgrading real quick and you and making sure your mind and soul is okay, remember that true love. Remember true love that you are looking for is really the joy and the love that you have within yourself. You can't treat people like an old laptop, like an old cell phone or even the old hooptie. For all y' all who know, the hoopty is it's an old car that runs by Tesla. Testimony in prayer. You have to make certain that you love and truly appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. The cool thing about love is that love is always there. But in many ways and in many times, we are the ones who mess love up. Have you heard the birth show lately? You got to give your yourself time and be cool with the person that you are. Do you trade in your child if you are a parent for another child? Heck no. You accept a child for who they are and you want them to be the best they can by learning from the life lessons that you have learned in your own life. People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs. That is what Common Electra should learn about life with her fine self. If you all listen to a little R B every now and then, you'll know that Jamie Foxx and Ludacris had a hit out a couple of months called Unpredictable.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Here we go.

[Father Bailey]

Get ready man. ATL get comfortable. We about do something you never done before yeah baby not the usual this morning we're getting unpredictable so try to roll with me baby baby I'm gonna make you feel like you never fail girl all about your name I am Unpredictable Carmen I know you used to be a scary movie I'm gonna love who I am so make that movie don't do you get it, get it do you got it? Got it baby Good, good girl. I knew you would see what you need right now. Coming Electro. It's a pine to be creative and soon you will see what I mean what I mean what I mean what I mean oh yeah atl, get comfortable. We're about to do something you never done before. Yeah, baby. Not the usual. This morning we're getting unpredictable. So try to roll with me, baby. Baby, I'm gonna make you feel like you never felt. Make you get it all together. Oh, I can't say that. Make it unpredictable. Okay, y' all finna do the Lula flow. All aboard. This the Father Crunk Express. Never give y' all the less. Cause y' all know all the more. From the pulpit to the Q1,200 studio. From the next time to the rhyme spot is Father. Ha ha ha. Let me put a little excitement into your lifestyle. You gotta know the times, the essence of talking right now. God can get. Get rid of that drama tonight that you're feeling right now. Because you ain't loving right. Some people say that love is overrated. But they gotta keep doing it right, baby. Cause it's understated. To keep it interesting, Baby, just shake the hurt off. God will be your Tylenol. Baby. I'm able to be love until you doze off. The bird show will make you wake up in the morning and take it to another world. You wake up in the morning feeling like another girl. So you know what, atl, the one thing you have to realize is that love is a blessing. And although Father Bailey can't rap, and although Father Bailey can't sing, you got to understand that in the way y' all accept me and love me, I accept and love y' all in the same way. If you loving somebody and you're about to get out your relationship because of hurt, of pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right. Cause you can do it, baby. And do it when you can do it tonight. So, Atlanta, Georgia, it's your boy, Father Bailey, checking out. I gotta give a shout to some people from church because if I don't do that, they'll go ahead and kick my butt next Sunday. I want to give a shout out to Captain Ed Kavikis. The man taught me how to shoot. To Officer Joe Vilafane, who is newly engaged to his honey over there in San Antonio, Texas. To all the Atlanta seminarians who be on retreat this week, and also to all the folks coming into Atlanta for the inter regional African American Catholic Conference. We want to go ahead and give a shout out to all these folks and to everybody who make it happen in atl, Atlanta, Georgia, Berkshire Community. You all are wonderful. Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere, and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood. It's your boy, Father Bailey checking out right now. Getting ready to celebrate mass this evening. Gotta go to court and handle some business, so I'll talk to y' all later. Bryan Nichols, behave your behind the court. I'll holler y' all later. Players.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Play on. See ya, Father Bailey.

[Father Bailey]

Hey.

[Host of The Birch Show]

The Birch Show. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Father Bailey]

Hello.

[Jessi Ware]

This is Jessie and Lenny Ware from Table Manners, a podcast direct from our dining table where we talk all things food, family, growing up, and everything in between. And everything in between. This season, we've had Reese Witherspoon reveal the greatest cookie recipe. We had Gary Oldman, who's freshly knighted. Sir Gary Oldman. Sir Gary Oldman. We did some singing with Gloria Estefan. And Jeremy Allen White has shared some culinary stories with us. And it's not just this series. We've had plenty of other brilliant guests where you can listen back to all the episodes. People like Cher, Dolly Parton, Kate Winslet, St. Paul McCartney, John Legend, Benny Blanco, and Selena Gomez. We've had them all and we fed them very well. Come and listen to Table Manners, the podcast with me, Jessi Ware, and Lenny Ware.

[Burt]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

[Host of The Birch Show]

Acast.com.