The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 10

Date: November 10, 2025
Cast: Bert, Host of The Bert Show, Co-hosts/Commentators, Father Bailey (“Father Crunk”), various callers

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is packed with humor, real-life dating drama, and an unconventional sermon from Atlanta’s own Father Bailey. The team first unpacks a jaw-dropping true story of a disastrous JDate outing that spirals into legal threats over a $50 dinner bill, sparking laughter, incredulity, and calls from listeners. Later, Father Bailey joins for a fun and thoughtful segment, blending pop culture, biblical wisdom, and a little R&B into life advice about breakups and love.

Key Segment Summaries

1. Dating Disaster: The $50 JDate Saga

[01:03–19:30]

Story Breakdown

• The story: A CEO named Darren Sherman goes on a JDate with Joanne at New York’s upscale China Grill.
  • She's willing to split the bill, but Darren insists on covering it, saying she can “get the next one.” She’s open to another date at this point.
• Post-date awkwardness:
  • Darren later decides there will be no second date and emails Joanne, asking for $50 to split the dinner (implying she owes him since there won’t be a future date).
  • Joanne ignores him, but he persists—leaving increasingly insistent and bizarre voicemails, and threatening to contact her employer and even take her to small claims court.

Progressive Escalation (with timestamps and quotes):

• Initial Email from Darren:

  • “Sorry things didn’t work out, I guess you changed your mind. Here is my address for the 50 bucks.” ([03:09])
  • Panel debates what might have happened to sour the match.

• Repeating Voicemails and Demands:

  • Darren:
    • “I was hoping you were gonna do the right thing here, you know, disappointed, but...I don't want to really keep calling you and emailing you, you know, issuing you a summons. But it's your call. For $50, you know, I suggest you do the right thing. You ate the food, you drank the wine. You never called. It's been two and a half weeks, so what do you want me to do?” ([04:49])
    • Repeated refrain: “Do the right thing, Joanne.” ([06:17], [16:28])

• Joanne’s Response:

  • “I had every intention of calling you and meeting to go out, but your email has completely turned me off and I find it extremely tacky...In the dating world, you may want to rethink the tacky approach of asking someone for money like that.” ([08:04])
  • “As far as I’m concerned, that’s it. End of story. I didn’t know that your paying the bill was contingent on me going out with you again.” ([11:08])

• Darren Threatening Legal Action:

  • “You can only hide so much behind emails. And so, it’s your call, but I’m going to flesh it out and reach out to your employer and issue the summons...” ([09:53])
  • “If your boss wants to get a phone call from me, your call is $50. I suggest that you pay because I’m going to. I’m going to be on top of. You know, it’s not right what you did, and so I’m not going to be taken advantage of...” ([12:29])

• Escalation to Restaurant:

  • After threatening small claims court, Darren then calls China Grill’s manager to intervene.
  • The manager leaves Joanne a message: “Hi, Joanne. This is Carol Serena, the GM at China Grill. I understand there was a discrepancy with the bill...If you could call me back...we'll get this all settled and taken care of.” ([16:49])
  • The restaurant then comps Joanne’s bill and even offers her free drinks. ([17:08])

Host and Co-host Commentary

• Panel’s Take:

  • “Now I know why she didn’t go out with him again. What a boring conversation.” — Burt ([13:48])
  • “Do you think that every time she gets this voicemail she gets all of her cube like, you guys gotta listen to this?” — Co-host ([13:51])
  • “I wonder if this little incident right here is one of those wars that Mel Gibson was talking about between Darren and what’s her name.” — Burt ([14:41])
  • “She needs to counter sue him for sexual harassment...That isn’t dating. That’s prostitution.” — Caller Linda ([18:19], [18:33])
  • Laughter abounds as they imagine the office gathering around every time yet another message comes in.
  • The hosts joke about Darren’s obsessive calculation: “His friends all left years ago when he became the guy who split the bill using the calculator in his checkbook.” — Burt ([17:59])

• Takeaway: The panel expresses a mix of disbelief and amusement over Darren’s escalation, ultimately siding with Joanne and marveling at the story’s longevity and public fallout.

2. Life, Love, & Laughs with Father Bailey ("Father Crunk")

[21:13–32:29]

Segment Overview

Father Bailey, a recurring guest known as “Father Crunk,” brings his comedic and insightful perspective to relationships by tying together Hollywood gossip, spirituality, and self-improvement.

Topics Covered

• Father Bailey’s Bald Spot Admission

  • Shares that he’s going bald, leading to a playful riff on 70s style and congregational honesty.
  • “Karen Browning, man. You know, you did it now, man.” — Father Bailey ([22:21])
  • Burt: “And now, now a reading from the book of keep your mouth shut if I’m bald.” ([22:38])

• Carmen Electra’s Relationship Moves and Biblical Parallels

  • Touches on Carmen Electra’s publicized breakup and rumored new romance with Jamie Foxx.
  • Reads and riffs on Carmen’s real quote about cosmetic surgery.
  • “You can’t treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery.” ([22:56])
  • “If you do anything on MTV, man, the magic will last, bro.” ([24:27])
  • Cautions against “upgrading” to a new relationship too quickly after heartbreak, connecting pop culture to biblical lessons.
  • “What she is doing is not the best thing in the world...When you jump from one relationship to another with the quickness...ain’t the best solution in the world to get your broken heart healed up.” ([24:43])
  • Emphasizes loving yourself, healing, and not using people as placeholders or replacements.

• Atlanta Shout-outs and Creative “Sermon-Rap”

  • Father Bailey delivers a spirited, gospel-rap inspired message blending R&B lyrics (“Unpredictable” by Jamie Foxx and Ludacris) with biblical lessons and self-love.
  • “Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right.” ([26:41])
  • “You can do it, baby. Do it when you do it tonight.” ([28:08])
  • “Don’t treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery. Understand that love is good. Hang in there, persevere, and know that you can learn from all the junk that's going on in Hollywood.” ([32:03])

Notable Quotes (with timestamps)

• “People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs.” — Father Bailey ([26:59])
• “If you loving somebody and you're about to get out your relationship because of hurt, of pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right.” — Father Bailey ([31:09])
• “Although Father Bailey can't rap, and although Father Bailey can't sing, you got to understand that in the way y' all accept me and love me, I accept and love y' all in the same way.” — Father Bailey ([30:50])
• “Atlanta, Georgia, it’s your boy, Father Bailey, checking out...Don't treat people around you like a piece of plastic surgery.” ([32:11])

Notable Moments and Memorable Quotes

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | | --------- | ----- | ------- | | 04:49 | “You ate the food, you drank the wine. You never called. It's been two and a half weeks, so what do you want me to do?... Do the right thing, Joanne.” | Darren (voicemail) | | 08:04 | “I had every intention of calling you and meeting to go out, but your email has completely turned me off and I find it extremely tacky... I would rather not hear from you at all.” | Joanne (via host reading email) | | 12:29 | “I will be issuing a summons to your job for the money. So you ate the food, you drank the wine. Finally pay your dinner.” | Darren (voicemail) | | 19:16 | “And that is all a true story. So consider yourself lucky if you come out of the weekend on a date and this doesn’t happen to you.” | Host of The Bert Show | | 22:56 | “You can't treat folks and their hearts like a piece of plastic surgery.” | Father Bailey | | 26:59 | “People are not like a new boob job. People have feelings that have authentic needs.” | Father Bailey | | 28:08 | “Like the SOS band said back in the day, baby, you can do it. Take your time and do it right.” | Father Bailey | | 31:09 | “If you loving somebody and you're about to get out your relationship because of hurt or pain, don't jump to the next person right away. Understand? You gotta take your time and do it right.” | Father Bailey |

Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | | --------- | ------- | | 01:03 | Beginning of the JDate story | | 04:49 | First bizarre Darren voicemail | | 08:04 | Joanne’s cutting email response | | 12:29 | Darren threatens legal action, employer | | 16:49 | China Grill manager calls Joanne | | 17:24 | Restaurant sides with Joanne, comps meal | | 19:16 | Hosts wrap up JDate segment | | 21:13 | Father Bailey ("Father Crunk") joins segment | | 22:56–28:08 | Sermon on love, plastic surgery, and taking time to heal | | 31:09 | Closing message: “Take your time and do it right.” |

Episode Takeaways

• Modern Dating Pitfalls: The team’s breakdown of “the $50 JDate” saga is a hilarious but incisive commentary on entitlement, expectations, and etiquette in online dating. The panel’s running jokes keep the tone light even as the story grows outlandish. They unequivocally sympathize with Joanne, lampooning Darren’s irrational expectations and legal threats.
• Self-love and Relationships: Father Bailey turns Hollywood gossip into a teachable moment, advocating self-respect, patience, and internal healing before jumping into new relationships.
• Authenticity, Humor, Community: True to their brand, The Bert Show weaves real drama, candid advice, and their Atlanta community into relatable, highly entertaining radio.

Final Thought

If you need a reason to laugh at the absurdities of modern romance and celebrity culture—or want a side of soul, R&B, and spirituality with your morning radio—this installment of The Bert Show has you covered. And above all: “Take your time and do it right. You can do it, baby.”