The Bert Show – Full Show Pt. 2: Monday, November 17, 2025

Episode Overview:
This episode of The Bert Show is a lively, freewheeling mix of Atlanta humor, pet loss grieving, and a candid interview with "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett about the controversy surrounding the show's race-based tribal divisions. The cast brings their signature blend of banter, improvisation, and listener engagement, exploring both comedic misfires and heartfelt personal experiences.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Atlanta’s “The Vent” Comedy Read: Standup That Tanks (01:33–12:45)

What’s “The Vent”?

• [01:39] Melissa: Explains it as a daily AJC (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) feature where locals submit one-liner commentaries about Atlanta or broader issues—think crowdsourced stand-up, often more miss than hit.

The Cast Attempts “The Vent” as Standup

• The group recreates the feel of a low-rent open mic, complete with laugh tracks and diner ambiance. They each read real “Vent” submissions, poking fun at the lackluster humor.
• [04:21] Jeff (mock intro): “A very funny guy coming to the stage. Put your hands together for, for the first time in Atlanta at this particular TGI Fridays – it’s Burt Weiss.”
• [04:30] Elise: “Really good to be at the Golden Corral here... Today I bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts for the office, but then I remembered I work from home. Yum.”
• The bit flounders deliberately, with the cast openly acknowledging its awkwardness and resulting in self-deprecating meta-humor:
  [07:04] Elise: "That's a failed bit right there."

Memorable Quotes

• [05:20] Phil: “It’s Atlanta’s fault for this.”
• [06:32] Melissa: “These people have way too much time on their hands to send these comments in.”

Interactive “Finish the Joke” Game

• Jeff begins reading the start of a Vent, and the crew tries to guess the punchline, usually with absurd results.
• [07:53] Jeff: “It’s amazing how those tiny panda cubs grow into such huge bears and I—”
• [08:36] Phil (guessing): “Can’t even get through 400 traffic.”

Listener Calls In

• [09:23] Caller: “No, no, not the lines. Just the way y’all are making fun of it. That’s hilarious.”
• [11:11] Phil: “If you and your son are borderline functional in New York and considered smart here in Georgia, you should go to Alabama—because there you could be brain surgeons.”

2. Processing Pet Loss and Preservation (14:27–31:03)

Elise Shares Her Pet Loss Experience

• [14:27] Elise: “Just weird around the house... when you lose a pet like we did. He’s been in our family for eight years... Last week, they found a tumor on our dog’s liver, and we had to put him down. It was awful, awful, awful.”
• She reflects on the daily reminders and odd emotional voids left by her dog, Kahuna, and the post-vet fog.

The Team’s Approaches to Pet Memorials

• Discussion turns to pet cremation, and Elise reveals they chose this for Kahuna.
• [16:59] Phil: “For a lot of people, your pets are part of your family... when I grew up, every time a pet would die, we’d bury them in our yard. Well, I don’t have a yard. Once I’m in an established place, that’s where I plan.”
• Humor surfaces as they joke about urns and the social awkwardness of introducing new partners to “my animals’ ashes are in the closet.”

Freeze-Drying & “Pet Preservation”

• Elise brings up a listener-suggested website: petpreservations.com, introducing the option for freeze-drying pets as an alternative to cremation or burial.
  • [18:27] Elise (reading): “Pet preservation, also known as freeze drying, is the comforting alternative to your pet’s burial or cremation.”
• The team jokes at length about the possibility—and absurdity—of sending your deceased pet on ice via FedEx to Colorado to be preserved.
• [20:24] Elise: “You could do anything you wanted. One of the FAQs is, ‘what position will you put my pet in?’ ...You may include any description that you think may be helpful.”
• Laughter ensues as they imagine bizarre pose requests and social scenarios:
  [20:47] Mark Burnett (joking): “What if you sent a picture of your Jack Russell terrier humping somebody’s leg?”

Listeners Share Shocking & Strange Memorial Tales

• Callers recount stories of neighbors cremating cats in backyard chimineas or storing pet monkeys in their freezers for years.
• [23:07] Caller: “Neighborhood comes outside...she says ‘Oh, sorry about the smell, but the cat died and we put him in the chiminea.’”
• The cast is both horrified and amused:
  [23:15] Caller: “They do have a privacy fence, thank God.”

Testimonial Letter: The Freeze-Dried Pomeranian

• Jeff reads a letter from a pet owner who had their dog freeze-dried and shipped home.
  • [28:43] Jeff: “When we first opened it, it was very scary because he looked just like he was alive. My mom started to cry. My dad was silent.”

3. Interview: “Survivor” Race-Based Tribes Controversy (32:25–46:35)

Mark Burnett Discusses Survivor's Decision (and Fallout)

• Background: The new “Survivor” season on CBS divides tribes by race, stirring local and national controversy.
• [33:26] Mark Burnett: “We finally got to a point where we had four ethnic groups... And the worry really was if you put them on one big tribe or two tribes, certain groups may gang up against another... So let’s split them initially so they have to vote off within their own ethnic group.”
• Burnett’s thesis: While controversial, the move exposes realities about segregation and may foster honest conversations; he expects that as tribes merge, viewers will observe integration.

Listener Confrontation and Debates

• [38:23] Caller (Shawnell): “You are promoting segregation, and especially in the United States... we still have so many great strides to make. You’re using money as a way to continue with segregation and prejudice.”
• [39:03] Mark Burnett (reply): “Your opinion—that’s why people are dying in Afghanistan and Iraq, so you can say whatever you want to say... Once you see it, I hope you’ll be just as vocal if it breaks down stereotypes and people are just people.”
• The hosts facilitate both sides. Some callers support the show’s premise, arguing it reflects and may confront real-life social boundaries.
• [41:58] Caller (Alicia): “People like to be around people like themselves. I think it’s a genius idea.”

Burnett’s Reflections on Ethnic Socialization

• [43:39] Mark Burnett: “Almost to a person, in casting people said, ‘Yeah, I work in a multi-ethnic company but spend almost 100% of my time with people of my own group.’ ...Race is an emotional and difficult subject in America.”
• [45:03] Burnett (to Elise): “What’s happened is over the last couple of weeks, people have thought about it more and are realizing...it’s unlikely that it’s going to be this kind of mean, slanderous, racial epithet show.”

Notable Moment: Cast Humor and Honesty

• [46:15] Elise: “I got beat up pretty badly. People actually turned me around on it... by the time we were done taking phone calls, people were like calling me a moron, like, that’s not what this is about.”
• [46:29] Jeff: “Regardless, everybody’s watching. Agree or disagree, you got them to watch.”

Notable Quotes

• Elise [14:27]: “Just walking throughout the house, expecting to see him or in my office... just expecting to see him there—he’s not there anymore... It’s just really, really odd, you know?”
• Phil [16:59]: “When I grew up, every time a pet would die, we’d bury them in our yard. Well, I don’t have a permanent yard… your pets are part of your family.”
• Mark Burnett [33:26]: “It was really following normal television…which is putting a few token minorities just to appease the NAACP…We finally got to a point where we had four ethnic groups…The worry really was if you put them on one big tribe…certain groups may gang up against another…So let’s split them initially.”
• Caller Shawnell [38:23]: “You have the audacity to sit there and say you’re trying to relieve [segregation] by continuing segregation? That’s disgusting.”
• Mark Burnett [39:03]: “I respect what you’re saying. I just hope once you’ve seen it and it plays out that you’ll be just as vocal saying, ‘Hey, I didn’t really get it, but wow, that really broke down stereotypes and people are just people.’”
• Jeff [46:29]: “Regardless, everybody’s watching. Agree or disagree, you got them to watch.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment Description | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------|----------------| | “The Vent” Comedy Read & Banter | 01:33–12:45 | | Pet Loss Stories, Grieving & Preservation | 14:27–31:03 | | Survivor “Race Tribes” Interview (Mark Burnett)| 32:25–46:35 |

Tone & Style Notes

• Playful, irreverent, and self-aware: Much of the show’s humor comes from acknowledging when bits fall flat and from riffing on one another’s ideas.
• Inclusive and empathetic: Despite the laughs, Elise is open and emotional about her pet loss, and the cast is sensitive to listeners’ personal calls.
• Unflinching on controversy: The cast provides space for both critics and defenders of the “Survivor” race-based tribe concept, aiming for open dialogue and honesty.

In summary:
This Bert Show episode oscillates between comic disaster and thoughtful discussion. A failed comedic experiment with "The Vent" gives way to genuine, heartfelt talk about grief and unconventional ways to memorialize pets. The show pivots into a direct, at times tense, conversation about race and television with Mark Burnett, confronting uncomfortable realities while still aiming for understanding—and always with their trademark mix of honesty and wit.