Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 3 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Monday, November 3 [Vault]

Pionaire Podcasting | November 3, 2025

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers an engaging mix of listener stories, personal reflections, real-world relationship drama, and some signature humor courtesy of the full cast. The episode features updates from Susie, the adventurous former cast member currently traveling in Africa, a candid and heartfelt breakup check-in with a listener named Sally, and life advice with a pop-culture twist from the charismatic Father Bailey. Hilarious but cringeworthy “pain poker” stories round out the episode, offering both wince-inducing laughs and relatable moments. As always, the tone is real, lively, funny, and supportive with insightful moments sprinkled in.

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1. Susie's Check-In from Mozambique

Starts ~01:03

Key Points

• Who is Susie?

  • Former Bert Show cast member traveling solo around the world, occasionally calling in with updates.

• Life in Mozambique
  (01:08 - 04:46)

  • Susie is on a crowded, hot bus filled with live chickens and people (“they're selling live chickens through the window...It’s hot and a lot of activity” - Susie, 01:08).
  • Describes Mozambique as extremely poor: “No electricity, no plumbing in most homes. Houses made of mud and grass.”
  • Despite the poverty, cell phones are common via prepaid cards; no mail service for regular billing.

• Difficulties and Dangers
  (03:34 - 04:46)

  • Susie feels like a “mark” as an outsider and target for theft (“People’s hands are in my pockets getting off the bus...someone ran up and stole my sunglasses.”)
  • Notes increasing difficulty: “Everywhere I go, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, it can get harder, poorer, more basic, more dangerous.’”

• Homecoming Plans
  (04:46 - 06:47)

  • Announces she finally bought a plane ticket home from Johannesburg (“I made it so I’ll be gone a year, a month, a week and a day...I think that sounds cool.” – Susie, 04:47)
  • Expresses mixed feelings about returning to “comforts” and readjusting to fast-paced New York City life.

Memorable Quotes

• “They don't have electricity, but they have cell phones.” – Susie (02:44)
• “This is their life. So a part of me is like, shut up and don’t complain.” – Susie (04:27)

Notable Segment

• Travel & Reverse Culture Shock
  • Bert: “Following you through the transition back to the U.S....is going to be much more difficult than you think it’s going to be.” (09:36)

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2. The French Guy Saga: Susie's International Love Story

Starts ~06:47

• French Guy Update
  • Romance recounted: they met in Djibouti, only spent two days together, but a big connection (“He wrote me a love letter...said he’s my wife, I’m sure of it.” – Susie, 08:01).
  • Communication is minimal—he can’t email, and language is a barrier.
  • He wants to visit her in NYC or fly her to France. Susie's torn: “It's kind of a mystery.” (07:13)
  • Cast jokes about possible detours to Paris before Susie returns home.
  • Recap for new listeners on her whirlwind romance.

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3. Listener Sally's Breakup Journey

Starts ~18:11; Main segment 18:11–37:44

Story Recap

• Initial Context

  • Sally had called suspecting a breakup was imminent after three years of dating.
  • Confirms breakup happened over the weekend.

• The Breakup
  (18:46 - 20:05)

  • Sally’s boyfriend ended things, saying he wasn't sure if he loved her romantically or just as a friend.
  • Sally pressed for answers (“You are not calling the shots anymore. Sit down...I bombarded him with questions for about 45 minutes.” – Sally, 19:27)

• Stages of Coping

  • Sally admits to calling him after the breakup, leaving messages, and contacting him three times in the week post-breakup.
  • The cast walks Sally through “The Seven Stages of a Breakup,” gently calling out her denial, need for closure, and potential to prolong pain by staying in contact.
  • Sally says she’s ready to move on but the cast isn’t so sure.

Notable Quotes

• “He can’t be your best friend. Not now.” – Bert (23:49)
• “It’s like quitting smoking but you’re still taking drags on cigarettes every day.” – Melissa (25:20)

Standout Moments

• Tough Love & Humor

  • The team offers Sally a support system and challenge: no contact for three days (“No communication. No email, no texting, no calling, no notes...nothing until Monday morning.” – Jen Hobby, 36:39)

• Sympathy and Solidarity

  • Sally has support from girlfriends, but admits to significant emotional pain, compounded by other recent losses (friend’s death, grandfather’s illness).

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4. Pain Poker: Most Cringe-Worthy Accidents

Starts ~40:42

Segment Highlights

• Premise:

  • Listeners call in with their most painful physical experiences; the cast sees who can take the most before cringing and bailing.

• Unforgettable Calls:

  • Nipple in Filing Cabinet: “I closed my nipple up in a filing drawer.” (42:25)
  • Finger Accident: “I cut my finger off at work, at Ryan’s Family Steakhouse. Meat cutter.” (44:18)
  • Go-Kart Mishap: “He ripped himself a new butthole and had to go to the hospital for stitches.” (47:25)
  • Biting Off Tongue: “I bit my tongue off.” (48:47)
  • Shaving Injury: “I turned and I shaved the side of my nipple off.” (49:34)
  • Cast recounts previous notorious call: “She accidentally snipped off the little man in the boat.”

• Cast Reactions:

  • Groans, laughter, disbelief, and shared pain—Bert relishing the group's reactions.

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5. Father Bailey’s “Crunkified” Life Lessons

Segments at 13:01 & 50:45

Segment 1: Rumors & Relationships

13:01–16:18

• Spiritual Message with Celebrity Gossip Parallel
  • Uses rumors about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to launch advice: “Stop dipping and dapping where you don’t know what’s happening.”
  • Relates it to biblical story of Mary and Joseph dealing with haters (“The Bible has a whole list of haters...let the haters be jealous and do your thing.” – Father Bailey, 15:04)
  • Encourages listeners to ignore rumors and negativity in their own relationships.

Segment 2: Body Image & Hollywood

50:45–56:46

• “Don’t Hate Me, Cause You Ain’t Me”
  • Addresses body image criticism faced by Jennifer Garner, praises her for prioritizing health and self-acceptance over quick post-partum weight loss.
  • Relates celebrity struggles to everyday self-worth issues.
  • Draws on faith for the ultimate lesson in self-acceptance (“If they’re talking about you, they ain't happy with themselves. Shake the dust off your shoulders, ladies.” – Father Bailey, 54:54)
  • Finishes with a Billy Joel lyric serenade as encouragement to all listeners.

Audience Impact

• Listeners call in to thank Father Bailey and the cast for their humor and inspiration (“Now I just feel like I got a whole new outlook on the day and I’m ready to go.” – Michelle, 58:19)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “This isn't a way of life anymore. It IS my life.” – Susie on long-term travel (09:52)
• “When you point one finger at someone, you have four more pointing back at yourself.” – Father Bailey (54:55)
• “He wants to get the best of both worlds...Don’t let him.” – Melissa advising Sally (24:16)
• [On pain poker:] “My son ripped himself a new butthole and had to go to the hospital.” – Sally (47:25)

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• Susie’s Mozambique update: 01:03 – 06:47
• French guy saga recap: 06:47 – 08:44
• Sally’s breakup call: 18:11 – 37:44
• Pain Poker: 40:42 – 50:15
• Father Bailey: Relationships/Rumors: 13:01 – 16:18
• Father Bailey: Body Image: 50:45 – 56:46

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Tone and Takeaway

Lively, unscripted, and heartfelt—the Bert Show shines in dishing out humor, honest support, and hard-won advice through real stories. The cast’s camaraderie and willingness to challenge, comfort, and laugh at each other (and themselves) keeps listeners invested, while guests like Father Bailey bring unique character and wisdom.

Listeners are left feeling part of a surrogate family—laughing together, cringing at pain poker tales, and being gently nudged toward self-acceptance and authentic connection.

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Bert]

You look the same.

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[Jen Hobby]

Especially me.

[Bert]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Bert]

The Bird Show. Hey, Susie.

[Susie]

Hey, how are you?

[Bert]

Good, how are you? You sound like you're on a plane.

[Susie]

I'm on a crowded bus. Let me just draw a picture for you. They're selling live chickens through the window. There's many live chickens on board. There's mothers and children, everyone sitting in the aisle. I hope you can hear me because it's very hot and very. A lot of activity going on.

[Jen Hobby]

Smells like chickens.

[Melissa]

Yeah, we can hear you fine.

[Bert]

Yeah. For those of you that don't know who Suzy is, because we've got you commercial running and a whole bunch of people are checking us out now for the first time, Susie left a year ago, over a year ago, and she is traveling the world by herself and she calls us up from time to time just from different corners of the planet. And she's in Mozambique now. Correct.

[Susie]

I am in Mozambique.

[Bert]

And where is that? I don't even know.

[Susie]

Listen, don't feel bad. I didn't know before I got here. It's above South Africa on the east kind of southeast coast. And they speak Portuguese here, so it's crazy. It's like the only Latin flavored country in all of Africa. I didn't know anything about it. I'm just like, I just basically am so dumb. I was like, I'll just make a straight line down the east coast of Africa. I'll start in Egypt and go straight down. So whatever's in my path, I'm, like, learning about as I go. So Mozambique is crazy. The roads are just terrible. It's really, really poor. I would say almost everybody here lives in, like, really a house with no plumbing, no electricity, made of, like, mud and grass. It's definitely one of the most basic places I've ever been.

[Jeff]

Is everybody staring at you right now with a cell phone in your hand?

[Sally]

No, the thing is, they don't have.

[Susie]

Electricity, but they have cell phones. A lot of them have cell phones. They buy, like, they buy these cards, so you pay beforehand because people don't have mailing addresses. You can't. Like, it's not like you can get your bill neatly in the mail. So people. And the interesting thing is that people have to go to recharge their phones, a lot of them, because they don't have electricity in their house. But the cell phone is everywhere. Like, if somebody's not dirt poor but just, like, sliding by, they have a cell phone. So, no, nobody's looking at me, believe it or not.

[Jen Hobby]

Sure.

[Susie]

Cause, you know, plus, they're selling chickens out the window.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah. I was gonna say, if you're on the bus, Jen, and you gotta call home to find out if you have a fresh chicken in the yard, you just pick up your cell phone. Hey, we need a chicken. Because I'm on the bus right now. I can just reach out the window and grab one.

[Bert]

Susie, there's this reoccurring theme that we hear from week to week with you, and it really is a lot.

[Susie]

I've had a couple problems here already. Like, I'm just a mark, you know, like, when you're in a country and you stand out so much and everyone's really poor, you're gonna get a lot of attention. You don't want. Like, I. I get off of buses, and people's hands are in my pockets. I was sitting on the beach and some. And I didn't bring anything to the beach because I know you just can't bring a backpack or anything. I had a pair of sunglasses with me, and somebody just ran up and stole them. Believe it or not, this country's still o. But it's like, wow. Like, you know, I feel like I've been everywhere and I've seen everything. And then I get to another country, and I'm like, wow. It can get harder, it can get poorer. It can get more basic. It can get more dangerous. Like, everywhere I go, I'm like, oh, my God, more surprises. So Mozambique has offered some great surprises, but also it's tough. Like I'm sitting here sweating right now. I'm on a 12 hour bus trip. I was standing for most of it. It's hard. Somebody pinned a medal on me. But people here do it every day. This is their life. So a part of me is like, shut up and don't complain. This is their life. You gotta just, you're in it, you gotta deal with it.

[Bert]

At this point now you are. I mean, you're past what your year deadline was gonna be. Is there any part of you now going, okay, I can see the end of this?

[Susie]

I bought a ticket home.

[Sally]

I bought a ticket home and it was really crazy.

[Susie]

I bought a ticket home from Johannesburg. I'll be flying home from South Africa. So I'm just headed all the way to the bottom of this continent. And I made it so that I'll be gone a year, a month, a week and a day. Because I think that kind of sounds cool.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Susie]

I mean, when I'm in a country, it's this hard where I'm just, it's hit literally. You guys, I've been on the road now for three days straight just taking buses. It took me a day. I'm not exaggerating you, a day to go 120 miles on a bus that's so crowded, so hot, so bumpy. The roads are really bad here. So like, the harder things get, I'm like, wow, it's going to be amazing to be home and to like, have some comforts, you know.

[Melissa]

You know, Susie, that could be the name of your book. A year, a month, a week and a day.

[Sally]

I like it. It's kind of catchy, isn't it? I had no idea when to come home.

[Susie]

I'm like, I don't know when I'm ready. I'm nervous about coming home. But it's time. It's overdue, you know, I know it's overdue. So I was like, I know.

[Sally]

I just calculated it.

[Susie]

I was like, alright, March 8th, that's you know, a year mother week of the day. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it.

[Sally]

So maybe they'll sell for a book. I like it.

[Bert]

You know what's gonna be so interesting also, because this journey with us, I don't think ends in Johannesburg. I think following you through the transition of being in New York City now, I mean, you're going to the busiest city in the world after, you know, kind of slowing it down and having.

[Sally]

I'm In a place with no.

[Susie]

I'm in a place with no electricity, literally. I've been hungry probably for the past seven days. Like, I never get enough food to eat. It's like, it's really hard to get the food thing right. They don't really. There's just not a lot. I'm. Yeah, I'm going to go to, like, the richest, tallest, most crowded city in the world, I think. I don't know. I can't visualize that it's going to be a problem, but I think I'm going to probably trip out a little bit when I go home. I don't know how I'm going to adjust. I don't know what's going to be hard because in a sense, that's going to be easier for me in some ways, but in other ways, it's going to be so foreign to me after this whole year being gone from that. I don't know what it's going to be like. I'll check in with you guys and let you know, but I think it's going to be a little rough, at least in the beginning.

[Jeff]

Hey, Susie, this is totally off the subject, but I am dying to know about French guy.

[Susie]

Yeah.

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Susie]

Well, he wrote me a love letter, which you guys posted online. I haven't heard from him. I don't know what's going on. His thing to me was like, we can barely communicate on the phone because we don't really have a common language. And he doesn't email. He doesn't know how to email. I don't really know what that says about him, but.

[Sally]

So he's just like, I'm coming to.

[Susie]

New York when you get home. I don't want to, like, talk on the phone all the time. It's too hard. But he said he's coming or that he wants to fly me to France when I get home. So it's been really weird. It's like he's still in the picture, but it seems less real because I'm not talking with him. So it's like a part of me is like. It's hard to keep it alive. But he said he's coming, so I don't know what's going on. It's kind of a mystery.

[Jen Hobby]

What if you hear from him when you're in Johannesburg and he says, you know what? Fly to Paris for a week and then fly to New York. What do you do?

[Susie]

Of course I do it. No questions, hands down. And all my friends are planning a.

[Sally]

Welcome back party for me in New York.

[Susie]

When I get back, I'll be like, you guys are gonna have to delay that party.

[Bert]

Susie, for those.

[Susie]

But I don't know if that's gonna happen. But I would definitely do it.

[Bert]

Of course, for those that didn't hear the episode when you were talking about the French guy and stuff. Can you kind of give a recap of that? In a minute.

[Sally]

Sorry. Yeah, basically, I've met a lot of.

[Susie]

Guys on this trip and you kind of slide in and out of people's lives and it's fun and everybody knows it's temporary. And I was in this crazy country called Djibouti, this little tiny crazy country in East Africa, sitting at a pool, met a French guy. We could hardly talk to each other. But something big and crazy happened for both of us. And, you know, we only spent two days together. And he's like, I'm gonna see you again. You're my wife. I'm sure of it. So it's kind of this like crazy soap opera thing that happened and it's just open ended. To be continued. Because I don't know if there's a future here or not. But definitely felt very hard for this guy. And I don't usually fall for anybody. And he's the same kind of guy, same kind of personality. So I don't know. I took a French guy.

[Jen Hobby]

I took a taxi down to Bitterball last Saturday night, and my cab driver happened to be from Djibouti. I asked him, really, in an attempt to make conversation. I said, oh, somebody I know just went there and said, your country sucks.

[Bert]

Nice.

[Susie]

It does suck, though.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, he did say.

[Father Bailey]

He did.

[Jen Hobby]

He did agree. He did say, yeah, it's not a great country.

[Bert]

Well, that's why he's here.

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Father Bailey]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Susie, did you say what that exact day was that you're gonna be in Johannesburg flying back?

[Sally]

Yeah, March 8th.

[Susie]

And then I saw. I arrive in America on March 9th.

[Bert]

Wow. Okay, we should check in with you then. I don't even. Is March 8th. Is that a weekday?

[Melissa]

Yeah, that's.

[Susie]

Yeah, I think it is a Thursday or something.

[Bert]

Can we check in with you the day you're about to leave?

[Susie]

Yeah, well, yeah, I think I can.

[Sally]

Call in when I reach JFK airport.

[Susie]

The big, huge, bustling, you know, Metropolis Airport, and let you guys know how it feels.

[Bert]

Well, we'll talk to you before that also. But specifically, I want to talk to you, like either the day of or the day before the last day of your trip, just to feel, just to get a sense of how you're feeling about this thing finally being over. This has been a way of life for over a year for you.

[Father Bailey]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Are you starting to look back?

[Susie]

My life, it's like it's not a.

[Sally]

Way of life anymore.

[Susie]

It is my life. I'm moving all the time in crazy places, learning new things. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know. We'll talk and we'll see. I can't predict.

[Jeff]

Are you already getting reflective about the last year?

[Bert]

Starting to lose her.

[Jen Hobby]

Maybe she's buying a chicken.

[Bert]

Thanks for starting to lose her.

[Melissa]

She got hungry. She said she's been hungry for a while.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah, that one looks good.

[Bert]

All right, we'll check in with her again. If not next week, the week after that. And then we definitely have to see how she's feeling. The week that she's taken off from her trip, and then I am anticipating that the transition back into the quote, unquote, real world, if that's what you want to call where we live, is going to be much more difficult than she thinks it's going to be.

[Melissa]

It'll be difficult, but I also predict that, unfortunately, it will go back to the way it was when she was in New York. And there'll be also, I think, a mourning period for what? She's gonna leave right now.

[Bert]

I mean, I'm sure there's a deeper question here eventually that we'll ask, but, I mean, can't there be a circumstance that happens to you that you literally make a life change, that you can sustain something so important or so impactful that that day you change, it changes.

[Melissa]

Your life, but you also can't completely fight. I think your surroundings, I think that's. That's the hardest part, is you are adaptable. She's adapting to the situation she's in, and she'll adapt back when she gets back there.

[Jeff]

And that is exactly why I have my prediction that she will not live in this country forever. She'll come back here, and then I think that she will leave and live somewhere around the world that's different from here, because I think she'll have such a hard transition back and because your environment shapes you so much that she won't want to stay.

[Bert]

We know it could be Paris, but it won't be Djibouti, that's for sure.

[Sally]

Right.

[Jeff]

So not that spot.

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Jen Hobby]

I am sanctified.

[Sally]

Sanctified.

[Bert]

Father Bailey, what's going on, man? Father Crunk from Holy Spirit Catholic Church.

[Jeff]

Father Crunk.

[Bert]

Father Crunk, How Are you this morning?

[Father Bailey]

Hey, man, you know how it is, man. Just trying to make it in, you know, Trying to make ends meet, you know, Just trying to do my thing, bro.

[Bert]

How was your weekend, man?

[Father Bailey]

It was. It was busy, but it was good, you know.

[Bert]

Busy with what kind of stuff?

[Father Bailey]

Well, you know, I had a meeting last night with the youth group. Had some ghost initiatives. We're trying to make it so to make the mass a little more cuntified, you know. And then I had, you know, just being around in mass and different things. Baptized a whole bunch of babies yesterday. So, I mean, it was. It was good, man. Good day to be a.

[Bert]

This guy approached you on the street dressed as he is right now, and he told you he was a priest, what would you say?

[Jeff]

I would laugh out loud.

[Jen Hobby]

It's like the. It's like the neck. Like the businessman with the necktie loosened and.

[Father Bailey]

You know what I mean?

[Jeff]

Yeah, he's got the collar loose right now. Without the collar, I would not know.

[Jen Hobby]

Like, I'm almost wondering if downstairs under the archway there's a Vespa parked with like a helmet hanging on the steering wheel.

[Father Bailey]

No, man, this is just my stilo, man, in the morning, you know what I'm saying?

[Sally]

That's how it is, bro.

[Bert]

All right, Father Krunk here tells us, look, you can't laugh at function going on in Hollywood with some of these celebrities. What you ought to do is look at it, kind of like embrace it and apply it to your life because there are some spiritual messages coming out of Hollywood that we could learn every single week.

[Father Bailey]

Yes, indeed. And today's title is Stop Dipping and Dapping where you don't know what's happening, you know, to the whole atl. I'm coming at you live from the cathedral Basilica of Q100. And the lesson this week or this day or this hour will be Stop dipping. Adapting. We don't know what's happening. Now there are a lot of rumors going around about Tom Cruise and the various issues that he is facing. Folks are talking about the fact that he and Katie Holmes are not together and they are pretending to still be together. You can hear from a source that Tom's father in law hates his guts because poor Katie is caught up in the middle. Now this is a very big mess because Katie's pops is a lawyer and from all the rumors out there, things ain't looking too hot. Now Katie and Tom are expecting their first child and folks are talking junk saying that Tom's baby must be coming from someplace else because he's able to have children this, that, and the other. All I gotta say to these folks is, you know what? Stop dipping and dapping. We don't know what's happening. Relationships, my friends, are hard enough. And the last thing that anybody needs are the rumors that fan the flame of the haterology that goes on out there. Now.

[Melissa]

I like this.

[Father Bailey]

Now, when you look at the Bible, there are people all around it who are trying to hate on one another. Today in my church, we celebrate the great feast of Saint Joseph, the husband of Mary and the foster father of Jesus. Remember all that drama that happened back in the day when Jesus was being ready to be born? I mean, man, folks are hating on Mary. They were filling Joseph's mind with the fact that he had better keep married to the curb because he wasn't that baby's daddy. Well, we know how the story turned out. Joseph had to get out, get the hookup from the Lord, and the special angel came from God who told him that everything will be cool, just chill out, don't worry about the haters. And the big man upstairs will keep everything tight. So we all know what happened. Jesus was born, and Mary and Joseph lived on. So people tried to mess up Mary and Joseph stilo. But you can see that the play of hating has been going on a long time from the Bible. And the Bible has a whole list of haters for us to learn from. So Tom and Kate, they need to do the same thing. Kate, don't worry about the haters. And Tom, well, do your thing, bruh. The lesson we all can learn from this experience is that people are always going to talk about you and they are going to try to tell you what you need to do. If you love somebody, love them. Through the drama, through the rumors, and through the issues. When I was growing up here in Atlanta, I can remember a song called Rumors by the Atomic Social Club. It said, look at all these rumors. They're running me every day. I just need some time, some time to get away from, from all these rumors. I can't take it no more. My best friend said, did you hear that one about me and the girl next door? So, Atlanta, Georgia, whatever is, believe me, it's gonna happen. This is Kate's and Tom's relationship. Let them be. And if you have folks causing drama in your relationships, just remember what you have is special. And when folks want to try to tell you what you need to do, especially when you have not asked their opinion, just tell them, stop dipping and dapping. Cause you don't know what's happening. Let the haters be jealous and just do your thing. Atlanta. That's the word this week from the Basilica of Q100 with Bishop Burke, Deacon Jeff, Overseer Melissa, Trustee Jen and Elder Tracy. Keep y' all crunk defied on the regular. This is Father Bailey and I holler at y' all later.

[Bert]

Beautiful.

[Father Bailey]

Beautiful.

[Bert]

Every time you come on, I get a ton of emails. We get a ton of calls from people saying where they can. They want to know where they could come and see.

[Sally]

You do?

[Bert]

Yeah. Where's the show?

[Father Bailey]

Well, tell them just the link on the website. The Holy Spirit Church.

[Bert]

Yep. We got it on all the hits q100.com right now.

[Father Bailey]

So either email me or give me a call and we'll go ahead and, you know, let you know what's going on. Now cash you just one favor.

[Bert]

Of course.

[Father Bailey]

Can I give a shout out to a couple of people at Holy Spirit?

[Bert]

You're the priest.

[Jen Hobby]

Do whatever you like, man.

[Father Bailey]

Let me give a shout out to the Holy Spirit preparatory baseball team and our tennis team. They're playing in Athens, Georgia this week. Also want to give a holler to the Holy Spirit youth group. We had a nice meeting last night and finally I got to say what's up to the Holy Spirit Catholic Church young professionals group. They had dinner at the Orient restaurant last night in Vinings and I heard it was very nice. Take it easy, y'. All.

[Bert]

Beautiful Father Bailey and all the hits. Q100 the bird show.

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[Sally]

Can I make my sight softer?

[Jen Hobby]

Can I make my sight firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

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[Bert]

Did I talk too much?

[Jen Hobby]

Can I just let it go?

[Sally]

Take a breath. You're not alone.

[Verizon Announcer]

Let's talk about what's going on.

[Bert]

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[Sally]

See if it's for you.

[Bert]

Visit betterhelp.com randompodcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy and let life feel better. All right, Sally, let's get her back on here. It was about a week ago. We asked on a Friday if you really think you have this nagging feeling that you are going to be broken up with this weekend and give us a call. Sally called us up and she said, I know this is going to happen. And then we checked back in with her on Monday and she confirmed that, yeah, her intuition was right. Here's kind of a combination of both of those calls.

[Sally]

We've been dating almost three years, and he said that he was planning on proposing this summer, but he's not sure if he loves me like a best friend or if he loves me like a future wife. And he said that he just wants to figure things out. And he said, oh, yeah, you know, I'll see you on Friday. You don't have to.

[Father Bailey]

Sure.

[Sally]

Everything will be fine.

[Bert]

Let's get a little history here. Now, you said you have been dating for three years?

[Sally]

Yep.

[Bert]

And how old are you?

[Sally]

I'm 23.

[Bert]

Did you guys meet in college?

[Sally]

Yep. Sure did.

[Bert]

You did. Is it the typical story? He was in a fraternity, you're in the sorority?

[Jen Hobby]

Yes.

[Bert]

Is it one of those arrangements where you're not living together, but all of his stuff is over at your house? And he basically is living there, but he's probably got his own place that he's pretty much. He was due over at what time?

[Susie]

7.

[Bert]

7 o'. Clock. He got there at what time?

[Sally]

6:30. And he brought dinner. And we ate dinner just like normal. But after that, we sat on the couch for a while and he kind of looked at me and I said, okay, I know, I know it's coming. Go ahead. I know you've got something to say. And he just said that just this past few weeks, he is not so sure anymore if I'm a future wife or if I'm just a best friend. That lasted about 15 minutes. And he said, well, I think I should be going. And he stood up, and I stood up and I looked him in the eye and I said, you are not calling the shots anymore. Sit down. And so he sat down and I bombarded him with questions for about 45 minutes after that.

[Bert]

Yeah, women need closure, that's for sure.

[Sally]

We definitely had to do the walk around the apartment. And he took all his things. I said, you know, is there another girl?

[Susie]

Of course.

[Sally]

And he said, no, definitely not. Every time you said you loved me, did you mean it or, you know, were you just saying that, you know, at the time? And he said he meant it.

[Father Bailey]

All right.

[Bert]

So I think she really handled that really well.

[Melissa]

I do, too.

[Jen Hobby]

Really, really well.

[Jeff]

She got instant closure so she can move on.

[Bert]

Right.

[Jen Hobby]

She claims you've gotten instant closure, but she still could have been, you know, shocked. Like, when you get your arm cut off, you still think it's there for.

[Bert]

A while, like a lizard. The tail is kind of like, behind it, five feet. It's still moving.

[Jen Hobby]

Yeah.

[Bert]

If you guys had to make the prediction right now, do you think she called or they talked to each other sometime over the last seven days? And if so, who called who?

[Melissa]

I'm gonna say no.

[Bert]

No.

[Jeff]

I'm gonna go with yes. And he called her.

[Jen Hobby]

I was gonna say the same thing. He called just to see if she was.

[Bert]

Okie dokie. I think she slept with Tammy. Good morning, Sally.

[Sally]

I do not want to be associated with Tammy.

[Bert]

How you been doing over the last week?

[Sally]

I'm okay. I'm not wonderful, but I'm alive and I'm still here, so. And actually, all of y' all are wrong. I actually ended up calling him. Damn it.

[Bert]

Damn it, damn it. Why didn't you call us before you did that?

[Jen Hobby]

What's wrong with you?

[Bert]

Why didn't you call us? Was it a moment of weakness or what?

[Sally]

No, I called him. I had gone out with my girlfriends one night, and I was driving home, and I wanted to call him and just say, you know what? I'm okay.

[Jeff]

He doesn't care.

[Jen Hobby]

How many drinks did you have before you made that call?

[Sally]

I'm not sure, but I also wanted to get some of my things back because he still has my things at his apartment.

[Bert]

Sally.

[Melissa]

An excuse now, Sally, when I'm curious what night? Cause we talked to. Okay, he broke up on Friday. When did you call him? What night was it?

[Sally]

Okay. If you want to know the truth, I guess we probably talked Monday, Tuesday, and today already.

[Father Bailey]

You talked three.

[Bert]

Three times already this week.

[Sally]

Yeah, but, I mean, it wasn't. Well, the first one was awful. I was almost in tears after. After I talked to him on Monday.

[Bert]

All right, let's break these down. Let's. Let's slow it down for just a second. Okay, so Monday was the day after you went out with all your friends, or that was just a spontaneous call?

[Sally]

Yeah. Monday, I think it was the night that I went out with some. My girlfriends, and I called him afterwards.

[Melissa]

Just to say you're okay.

[Jen Hobby]

I want to let you know that you're probably busy putting on a condom right now or something. Some girl you just met. But I'm okay, stop.

[Bert]

Now. She was.

[Sally]

I called him. I mean, and I left a message, and, you know, my message just said, you know, you don't call me back. I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing okay, just in case you cared. And he actually called me back the next day and said, hey, I saw that you called. I'm sorry I missed it. And I asked him, I was like, you know, did you get my message? You didn't have to return my call. And he said, no, I didn't get your message, but I just want to see how you were doing. So the next day we actually chit chatted, I guess, for a little while. And it was better.

[Bert]

What do you mean by better?

[Sally]

Well, it was almost normal, but I mean, I guess that's probably. It was as if we were friends.

[Jeff]

You guys are just in the routine of talking to each other every day for three years. It's like breaking that routine.

[Sally]

Yeah, well, he's my best friend, Sally.

[Melissa]

He's not.

[Bert]

He can't be. He can't be.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, God.

[Sally]

We got more, but he was for the last three years.

[Jen Hobby]

So we got Jen Fallon Part two on our hands.

[Melissa]

Well, yeah.

[Bert]

Okay. At this point, he cannot be your best friend. You know that, right? Like, I mean, there has to be some space here for you to heal before.

[Sally]

I, like, I know that. But his words were, you know, on Friday when he called it off, he said, you know, I'd like to still keep you as my best friend. And I even follow.

[Melissa]

Sally, he's trying to get the best of both worlds. He's trying to get the best of both worlds.

[Bert]

Sally. I missed that. You said that that was or was not possible.

[Sally]

I told him it was not possible.

[Bert]

Okay, good.

[Melissa]

Where do you haven't backed it up.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, Sally, when are you guys going to see each other?

[Sally]

Next Sunday.

[Melissa]

Sunday?

[Sally]

Well, he's coming over to bring my things.

[Bert]

Don't you sleep with him. Do not.

[Sally]

No way. No, no, no.

[Jen Hobby]

Want to bet?

[Sally]

It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.

[Jen Hobby]

You want to bet?

[Sally]

Yeah, it's not gonna happen. It's not gonna be anything like that.

[Susie]

I don't even think.

[Bert]

I don't even think you should be there. Yeah, I think you should put all of his stuff in a box and set it out. Have him come on over and get it that way. There's no. There's no reason for you to see him. It's over.

[Sally]

He has all his things from my apartment. He just has to bring some of my things over.

[Jen Hobby]

Right. So there's no reason for you to be there. He could just put them in, like one of those plastic tubs from Target, you know, put it all in there. Leave it on your stuff.

[Father Bailey]

Right?

[Jen Hobby]

I mean, that if it's Easter, you guys are going to be looking frags one minute and rolling around in smack the next.

[Melissa]

I mean, Sally, I mean, it's like you quit smoking, but you're taking drags on cigarettes every day, going, you know, but I quit. I quit on your hand.

[Jen Hobby]

Only when I'm drunk.

[Melissa]

Yeah. I mean. And three. I mean, it's. It. It's. One thing about a breakup is you have to know that you have to go through the pain. You just have to. Or the. Or you're just gonna. All you're doing is putting off the pain, prolonging it.

[Sally]

Oh, I've gone through the pain.

[Melissa]

No, you haven't. No, you haven't.

[Jeff]

You are prolonging. It's inevitable.

[Melissa]

And so you are just gonna have to go through the pain and push through it in order to get to the other side. And then, you know, and then you'll be over it. But you're not doing that. You're not even facing it yet.

[Sally]

Well, I. Okay, I do disagree because I have spent my time crying, and I've gone through anger, and I've felt, you know, I think, all the emotions you're supposed to feel when this happens, and I think I'm okay because I've actually had some other things happen in my life recently, and it really puts it in perspective.

[Jeff]

Did you make out with a girl?

[Sally]

Please, not me. No. My grandfather got ill suddenly, and so he was in the hospital. And then I had a friend pass away just this past week, too, so. So I guess it's really. It was terrible timing, but it's really helped me put this in perspective a lot.

[Bert]

See, now I'm curious to what your perspective is, because to me, if those things happened in my life around me, that would be a lesson of. You have to live every moment to the fullest right now, and if things aren't working out, then move on quickly. And it sounds like to me that you're doing just the opposite of that. You're still kind of, like, holding on, you know?

[Sally]

I mean, I guess I can see where I'm holding on.

[Jen Hobby]

Let me answer for her, Bert. You know what, Bert? You make a great point, but it doesn't apply to what I want to do right now. So I'm gonna choose to ignore your great point exactly and tell you that I am living my life to the fullest by remaining friends and occasionally having sex with the man who broke up with me.

[Bert]

I want to go over these stages of a breakup, according to one website that I think is pretty much right on. Okay.

[Sally]

Okay.

[Bert]

Stage one that I think we're hearing today is called denial. First stage involves you not accepting the current situation. Would you agree that you are not accepting the current situation?

[Sally]

No, I think I've already been in denial. I think I'm in acceptance. Okay. But I have been through anger. I know. That's one of them.

[Bert]

All right, that's coming up. That's coming up.

[Sally]

All right.

[Jeff]

Okay. Denial.

[Melissa]

Wait, let me ask her one more. I'm sorry, Bert, to interrupt. So what do you have planned on Sunday? Are you.

[Jeff]

What.

[Melissa]

What meal do you plan to make for Sunday?

[Sally]

I'm not making any meal. He's just dropping by my apartment to drop off my thing.

[Jen Hobby]

Will you do any extra preparation that involves a razor?

[Sally]

I guess I'll have to wait and see on Sunday.

[Jen Hobby]

No, don't see it, Joe.

[Melissa]

So anyway, going back to Burt's list. Yes. You're in denial. Go ahead.

[Jen Hobby]

Do you know what? Yeah. Do you know what you're gonna wear on Sunday?

[Sally]

No, but it will look good.

[Bert]

Why?

[Sally]

Because he should look at me and say, man, I'm missing out.

[Jen Hobby]

And then what if he says, man, I am missing out. You know what? Let me get that one more time. Cause Easter, it's a special occasion. I listen to the bird show. Jen hobbies says on all religious hol, I'm supposed to get sex. So you know what?

[Jeff]

And I know she's already done some cleanup.

[Jen Hobby]

You sure you would say no?

[Sally]

I think I would definitely say no.

[Jen Hobby]

I think I'm not. Okay, what about denial? In a denial. Denial of the denial bird.

[Melissa]

Is that in there? So she's in stage one?

[Bert]

No, but she may be, like, leading us right into stage two, which is called out of control. This is the stage where you make a fool out of yourself by embarrassing yourself.

[Sally]

Oh, I already did that.

[Bert]

And that was probably the phone calls. But it will also happen if you have sex with him this weekend.

[Sally]

No, I. I mean, I already did.

[Jen Hobby]

What did you do?

[Sally]

Well, I kind of didn't. I guess I was still in shock. And so this is awful, and I know all my friends are listening, but I drove over to his apartment the next day at 7am and just called him when I was outside his door and I said, come up here. And. And I mean, it was very embarrassing now, but I guess at the time I thought, you know, this can't possibly be happening. I'm sure he's changed his mind.

[Jen Hobby]

So what did you do. So you called him to the door? Did he come to the door?

[Susie]

He did.

[Sally]

He let me in and we talked for a few minutes, and he said, you have to go.

[Bert]

So I feel. I feel bad. Yeah, I feel bad. I wish you wouldn't have gone over there, though. I feel bad.

[Sally]

I know. I do, too. But I was gone through that stage.

[Jeff]

I'm past the out of control stage.

[Sally]

Yes, out of control.

[Jen Hobby]

Until she's, like, hanging out.

[Melissa]

Until he comes on Sunday.

[Jen Hobby]

No, until she's, like, at one end of the bar. Twist or something, and she's hanging out and With a couple girlfriends. And then she looks across the bar and sees him there talking to another girl. And then we get out of control in public. Because what you've done now is out of control in private.

[Bert]

Yeah. These stages don't happen, like, I think a day at a time. I think that they take a while. You're gonna be going through denial and out of control, I think, for a while. But as soon as you get out of those two, what you have to look forward to is loneliness and depression, which is stage number three. It says this is the worst stage. It's the first time that it really starts to sink into you that you're going to be alone and you realize that you have no one to hug you or comfort you and stuff like that. Yeah, all the sappy love songs on the radio are going to start making a lot of sense to you.

[Melissa]

I used to turn the channel when, you know, during a breakup. Like, I would not watch soap operas. I would not watch those jewelry commercials or those, you know, any of the commercials that included. Because most commercials include couples and families and stuff, and I would.

[Sally]

Yes, they do. It's so sickening.

[Melissa]

I know there were times that I literally turned the TV off when. Because I was in that stage.

[Bert]

And it's like every song on the radio is speaking to you.

[Jeff]

You know, it's like that Neo song that we play. That's so sick song.

[Jen Hobby]

So where he's gonna change the calendar, he's gonna. That's exactly what it is.

[Bert]

Stage number four is the blame phase. This is where you analyze every part of the relationship and you think about it over and over and what you could have done differently. You beat yourself up for nagging him too much or not being romantic enough. You just start analyzing it over and over.

[Melissa]

She's trying to push through. She hadn't been through the loneliness, Bert. You know, I've been through that, Bert.

[Jen Hobby]

Go right to the last phase. Go to the One, we're totally moved on looking for other guys. I'm so there.

[Father Bailey]

Per.

[Jen Hobby]

You don't even understand. Like maybe. Okay, at the start of this phone.

[Sally]

Call, I did get to the lonely state, the loneliness stage.

[Bert]

But for what, six hours?

[Sally]

Amazing support group of friends that were all there for me. So, you know, when I did need a hug, you know, they came over with ice cream or they made me a cheesecake, pick me out the coffee.

[Jen Hobby]

So, Sally, you're aware this happened seven days ago?

[Bert]

Yeah. You haven't. Hey, Sally, I don't think you've scratched the surface.

[Melissa]

Is this your first big breakup?

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

Okay. Okay.

[Bert]

Phase five, just so you're ready for it, is anger.

[Sally]

I've done that.

[Bert]

Okay. I mean, you're over this guy. It is ready to have sex with somebody else.

[Sally]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bert]

Anger is the. Actually, it says it's a decent stage to be at. You're no longer blaming yourself. The downside of all this is that you have. You overblow all of their bad traits and you just start now remembering how bad the relationship was. You know, Then in six, you start.

[Jen Hobby]

Accepting, I didn't even hear it and I've done it. I've done it. You don't even tell me, Bert, I don't even want to know what six days I've done it.

[Bert]

Accepting the situation. You're coming to peace with the situation, accepting the finality of the whole thing. And then seven is healing and moving on. It's the final stage and you finally get over the relationship. You're like. Yeah, I mean, you're like.

[Jen Hobby]

You're in an early one.

[Sally]

Yeah. I wish I'm friends with Colin to vouch for me. I really have I really done well. But the anger, I mean, I guess the blaming him stage is not something I can go through because I do really think he's still a great guy, even if it's not for me or even if he's not a great guy with me. You know, I can't blame him because he was honest with me. He didn't do anything like Tammy and. And things like that.

[Bert]

This is almost what makes it worse, is that you'll want to keep coming back and keep coming back because it didn't end, like, badly for you. Like, you're gonna have to wait to see him making out with another woman or you're gonna have to get so hurt so badly to where it just kind of like jump starts you into healing.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Because it didn't end badly really.

[Jeff]

It might be after one of those out of control episodes that Jeff is predict. Happen in public.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Sally]

Okay. Yeah.

[Bert]

Sally, can you make a commitment to us that you will not call him all weekend?

[Sally]

Well, his family's in town, so. Yeah, okay, fine. I can do that.

[Bert]

His. His family is in town.

[Sally]

His family's in Atlanta, so what does.

[Bert]

That have to do with you calling?

[Sally]

Well, I'm good friends with his family. No.

[Jen Hobby]

No, you're not anymore. You're not. No, you're not.

[Father Bailey]

Not anymore.

[Melissa]

Sally, do you know what a breakup is?

[Bert]

This is hard. This is our first one.

[Melissa]

I know. I'm just asking. I'm not. I'm not telling. I'm just trying to be tough.

[Sally]

I do, but it's. I mean, it's been three years, and.

[Jen Hobby]

So, just so you know, you're not friends with this family anymore. Like, when you break up, like, the whole thing goes. And I don't need all the emails from the freaks out there. Like, I dated a guy for five years, I'm still best friends with sister. Well, you're an idiot.

[Sally]

Just keep his family and not him.

[Melissa]

No, that's not fair.

[Bert]

Yeah, I mean, think about the pain you'll have to go through if you do that.

[Melissa]

I mean, it's his family.

[Bert]

It's his family. I mean, they're going to tell you stories about them or you guys are going to avoid an uncomfortable conversation about them.

[Melissa]

I think it's just rude.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

That is his family.

[Bert]

The truth is, you're not ready to. You're not ready to move on yet. So you're getting.

[Sally]

I am. I'm ready.

[Melissa]

No, you're not, honey.

[Jeff]

You can do it, but you've got to start doing these things that we're trying to help you with, like not calling.

[Sally]

I won't call her.

[Bert]

Promise.

[Sally]

Well, he told me to call him on Sunday so that I can tell him when I'm home so he can bring my things over.

[Jen Hobby]

Sally, you know what? Don't call him on Sunday at all. You don't need. You don't need your stuff. Get them from him next week. Blow him off on Sunday.

[Sally]

Okay.

[Jeff]

See if you can do it.

[Jen Hobby]

Promise.

[Susie]

I'll try.

[Jen Hobby]

You have to. Do you have friends that you can call? We might have to talk to her best friend.

[Jeff]

Yep.

[Melissa]

Yeah. She needs what, an aa. Don't you? A sponsor.

[Jen Hobby]

A sponsor. You need a sponsor.

[Melissa]

She needs a breakup sponsor.

[Jeff]

She needs a sponsor.

[Sally]

Okay. I mean, I can do it. I can do it.

[Jen Hobby]

And if you not like, you need to tell your best friend about this conversation, and you need to tell her that you could. You might call her at three in the morning, but you're gonna call her instead of calling him.

[Sally]

Well, I'm sure. I'm sure my best friend's listening anyway, so.

[Jen Hobby]

All right, well, you're a real best friend.

[Melissa]

You'll be her sponsor.

[Bert]

Are one of us willing to be another sponsor to her over the weekend also?

[Jeff]

Yeah, I'll be a sponsor.

[Bert]

Okay. You'll give her your cell phone number, and if she feels weak, she can call you before.

[Jeff]

Absolutely.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Sally]

I really promise. I mean, I have amazing group of girlfriends, especially, that will be there for me, so.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't need you, Jen.

[Sally]

I don't want to put you out at all. Like, I really will be fine.

[Melissa]

Sally.

[Bert]

Sally.

[Sally]

Yes.

[Bert]

I'm gonna put you on out.

[Jeff]

What you need to do is you need to ceremoniously delete him from your cell phone.

[Sally]

Well, I have his number memorized, so.

[Jeff]

But you still need to get it out of speed dial.

[Melissa]

It doesn't seem she's not ready.

[Sally]

She's.

[Bert]

You.

[Melissa]

Well, first, you're not ready. But the thing about the name and the cell phone, even though you know the number there is something, like Jen said, symbolic about taking their name out so that it's when the number shows up on the phone. Like, it's. It's a little more impersonal, just a little more chip away from letting it go.

[Bert]

All right, maybe we're throwing too much stuff at you. I mean, because this is. This is new. This is your first breakup, and we're asking you to do so many things. Let's ask her to do just one thing.

[Jen Hobby]

No communication by calling. Like, you know what that means? No text messaging either. Like, no communication. We know we. No email, no text messaging, no leaving a note on his door. No communication with him until you talk to us again on Monday morning.

[Sally]

Okay.

[Jeff]

And if he calls you, it has to go to voicemail.

[Melissa]

Do not answer the phone.

[Sally]

Okay, I can do that.

[Bert]

All right, I'm gonna put you on hold. Chen Hobby's gonna give you her cell phone number also. And when you feel weak, you call her.

[Sally]

Why aren't y' all doing this to bed? He called yesterday. He. He needs to get this, too.

[Bert]

Well, he got his closure. He absolutely got his closure. He was ready for it. You're not.

[Sally]

I have my closure.

[Bert]

No, you do not.

[Sally]

No, Sally.

[Bert]

See, that's what I'm saying. You're not.

[Jen Hobby]

Sally.

[Bert]

Sally, you still need help. And it's okay. It's silly. It's just been a week. It's Just been a week.

[Sally]

I know, I know, but I think. I mean, I'm not crying anymore, so.

[Bert]

All right, That's a nice little baby step.

[Jen Hobby]

You will. This weekend.

[Bert]

Three days.

[Sally]

I can go all weekend and not call. That's not a problem.

[Bert]

All right, three days, no calling. I'm gonna put you on hold, okay?

[Sally]

Okay.

[Bert]

All right. Hold on.

[Sally]

Okay.

[Bert]

All right, so she's on hold. You'll give her the cell phone number?

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Okay. Jen. Sally. That girl.

[Melissa]

Thank you.

[Jen Hobby]

I don't hear anything. Do you hear anything?

[Bert]

Word, Sally? I don't know what she's talking about.

[Jen Hobby]

What are you saying there? What are you talking about, Sally?

[Bert]

Predictions. Can she go three days without.

[Melissa]

Absolutely not.

[Jen Hobby]

Can she do it?

[Jeff]

She can do it.

[Bert]

I don't think so either.

[Verizon Advertiser]

It's a weekend.

[Melissa]

She will call his family and she will see him on Sunday. There'll be more than one phone call exchange.

[Jen Hobby]

You know what? Let me. Can I ask her one more question before I give her my answer?

[Bert]

Hey, Sally.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, Sally.

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Jen Hobby]

Hey, do you have plans this weekend?

[Sally]

Yes. I'm actually going home this weekend, so I'm not even going to be in Atlanta.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay. Where's home?

[Sally]

South Carolina.

[Jen Hobby]

And are you gonna see friends from South Carolina?

[Sally]

Probably.

[Jen Hobby]

So you meet him at a bar?

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Jen Hobby]

So there might be like a margarita or beer involved.

[Sally]

Wine, probably.

[Bert]

She's gonna call them alcohol. All right, Sally, hold on one second. All right. That girl. Hey, the bird show, dude.

[Verizon Advertiser]

Did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon. The best 5G network in America. I never look so good.

[Bert]

You look the same.

[Verizon Advertiser]

But with this camera, everything looks better.

[Jen Hobby]

Especially me.

[Bert]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

[Jeff]

Selfies.

[Bert]

Check, please.

[Verizon Announcer]

With Verizon. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro. Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever. Plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Tours. Root Metrics, the United States, 2020, 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this fall, take care of the little ones in the family with baby Club Savings now through November 4th. Spend $25 on select Baby Club products and save $5. Shop for items like Pedias shore bottles, Pedialyte powder packs, Huggies baby wipes, Huggies diapers, Gerber puffs and Gerber pouches. And save $5 when you buy $25 or more on participating products. Fourth, restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Verizon Advertiser]

Why choose a sleep number Smart bed.

[Sally]

Can I make my site softer?

[Jen Hobby]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler?

[Verizon Advertiser]

Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. And now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save on beds, bases, and more. Plus, get free home delivery on any any smart bed with bass limited time. Check it out at a sleep number store near you [e-mail] today.

[Jen Hobby]

Okay, this is right on the chest.

[Father Bailey]

They're doing this.

[Bert]

Oh, God. They're doing two chest, two strips at once.

[Sally]

One, two, three.

[Jeff]

Ah, God.

[Bert]

All the hits, Q100, and the virtual. Okay, that sounded painful, but if you were listening to that going, that. That doesn't even scratch the surface of pain. We're looking to play pain poker here. It's the most painful thing that has ever happened to you. And judging from these phone calls, we will all be cringing in less than five seconds. All right, are we putting a statue of limitations a. A window on this? Like, five minutes, and then we're out.

[Jen Hobby]

You know what I think we need to do? Is we do this. Similar to that stupid bucket of ice crap that you brought in here where we tried to see who had the most pain tolerance.

[Jeff]

Look at Melissa's face already.

[Melissa]

I know.

[Jeff]

We haven't even heard the stories yet.

[Jen Hobby]

Here's the deal.

[Melissa]

I feel like I bit into a lemon or something.

[Bert]

Wait till you hear this first one. Melissa, you were gonna run out of the studio.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, here's what I think we do, because we all have different tolerances, and we're all holding body parts. Like, for some reason, Jen Javi is convinced her breasts are gonna be affected.

[Jeff]

So she's like, hey, biceps.

[Jen Hobby]

She's, like, protecting them.

[Bert]

And then Melissa has her hand on my buttocks right now protecting them.

[Jen Hobby]

And, like, my shoulders are up, you know? So whatever. But. So here's what I think we do, is we take the calls, and then whenever one sends us over the edge, we just. We're out.

[Jeff]

We drop, like, falls.

[Jen Hobby]

Our headphones come off.

[Bert]

I'll tell you why you can't do that. Because in 10 seconds, there's going to be complete silence in the studio.

[Jen Hobby]

Well, if that's the case, then that's. Then that's the winner.

[Bert]

Good morning. Hold on one sec. No, I gotta start with Donna. I gotta start with Donna. This May be over in 30 seconds. Go ahead, Donna.

[Sally]

I closed my nipple up in a filing floor.

[Bert]

Wait, give us that one more time.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, Melissa, you do that for fun.

[Sally]

I closed my nipple up in a filing cabinet drawer. Oh.

[Jen Hobby]

Why was your nipple in the filing cabinet?

[Sally]

Well, it wasn't in the filing cabinet. I was at the filing cabinet, and someone came to the copier to make a copy and opened the door. When they did, I went into the cabinet, and I have very large breasts, and they're natural. And it closed in that cabinet, and there was nothing I could do but, like, cringe for, like, a second. And then I was like, get the.

[Bert]

I guess the only equivalent to that for a guy, and every guy has done this at one point or another is when you're going number one and you zip up your talent.

[Jen Hobby]

Oh, I've never done that.

[Bert]

You've never done that?

[Jen Hobby]

Never done that? I did. See, I don't even want to.

[Bert]

I don't think.

[Jen Hobby]

This is just mean. I don't want to say it out loud.

[Bert]

I've done it a couple of different times, actually.

[Jen Hobby]

When I reached a level of maturity where I realized that good personal grooming was not only from the neck up, but there are other spots in the body. I used the same, you know, shimmer that you would use, like on a goatee.

[Sally]

On.

[Jen Hobby]

That goatee. But for some reason, with this is just not right. With the skin being looser, it was easier for it to fall into the grill.

[Bert]

Got it. Got it.

[Melissa]

I don't know why we have to clap like seals.

[Jeff]

Yep. Ow.

[Bert]

Got it.

[Sally]

Ow.

[Bert]

Good morning. You were on the Bird show. All the hits. Q100. Hi. Hello.

[Susie]

Hello.

[Bert]

Hello. It's you.

[Jen Hobby]

Good morning.

[Bert]

Good morning.

[Sally]

I have cut my finger off at work.

[Jen Hobby]

Right?

[Jeff]

You're kidding me.

[Jen Hobby]

Sounds like you said it happened just a few minutes ago. Oh, boy.

[Sally]

Actually, it happened about a year ago.

[Bert]

Where were you working?

[Sally]

I worked at Ryan's Family Steakhouse. I was the meat cutter.

[Bert]

Oh, God.

[Father Bailey]

No, no, no.

[Sally]

True.

[Bert]

No, no, no.

[Jen Hobby]

This is a true story. But Jen Hobby was there, so she can attest to this. At Crash's wedding just two weeks ago, we were going through your standard issue wedding food. You know, like, they have the little chicken stuffed whatever buffet, and at the end is the carving station. And so we go through the little buffet line, and it's Jessica and Jen Hobby and I, and we get to the carving station, and there's no one there. And we just kind of stand there and, like, the knives and things are sitting there, and I make A joke like this car, you know, carve your own roast or whatever. And a woman comes kind of running up and she's like, God, really sorry about that. But the person who was here just a minute ago cut herself real bad.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah, you don't want to hear that. You're about to eat.

[Jeff]

Inspecting the food, making sure there wasn't.

[Jen Hobby]

Jessica says the whole finger. They gonna be able to save the finger. And the girl working there goes. We don't know, like, totally serious.

[Melissa]

Oh, God.

[Bert]

Now, were you by yourself, like, in the back cutting the meat?

[Sally]

Yeah, I had my own little room, so I was in the back, you know, on the electric saw. Cut it off, it's gone.

[Bert]

Okay, got it. Was this just at the tip?

[Melissa]

Why are you asking more questions?

[Bert]

Or was it below the nugget?

[Melissa]

Why are you asking more questions?

[Jen Hobby]

No, in the likes this.

[Bert]

Where exactly was that?

[Susie]

It was.

[Sally]

It was like half of the pinky.

[Melissa]

Why are you asking more questions?

[Bert]

Thank you for calling. Thank you.

[Jen Hobby]

Seriously.

[Father Bailey]

This is.

[Jen Hobby]

Please, Bert, at all the hits Q100.

[Bert]

There was actually a survey done on what is the most painful thing. I mean, I don't know how they even qualified it or quantified it, but the most painful thing that can happen to you is having a finger cut off.

[Jen Hobby]

What about this radio segment? How did this radio segment run?

[Bert]

Probably better than your phone scam in another 10 minutes. Good morning, Anna. You're on the Birch show. All the hits Q100.

[Sally]

Hey, my mom had nine kids and she did seven of them natural.

[Bert]

That's amazing. Like, I know someone. Some women wear that as a badge of honor that I did this naturally. I think that's just crazy.

[Sally]

No, she did. She thought it was the best way. She said that by far, natural is the best way. Like she tried to convince my sister when she had two kids to do them all natural. My sister was. Was like, no, give me drugs.

[Bert]

No doubt.

[Jen Hobby]

Don't you have to try it once, though?

[Bert]

No. Oh, no. Oh, no. No.

[Melissa]

I think Jen wants to. Right. You've mentioned considering will definitely be a consideration.

[Bert]

Yeah, that to me, is a crazier than your theory about Kate Holmes. Kate Holmes and Tom Cruise. Good morning, Carla. You're on the Bird show.

[Sally]

Good morning, guys.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Melissa]

Hi.

[Sally]

This actually happened to my son a couple years ago. He was on a go kart with a friend, and the friend went around a curve too quickly, so my son panicked and put his foot out. Well, the force between putting his foot out and the go kart going the opposite direction. He ripped himself a New butthole and had to go to the hospital.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Bert]

He literally ripped his booty.

[Sally]

Literally.

[Susie]

Yes.

[Jeff]

Oh, my gosh.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Sally]

Let's just say for the next few weeks, he ate a lot of stool softeners.

[Bert]

So he had to, like. They had to, like, use stitches on that area?

[Susie]

Yes.

[Sally]

He had eight stitches. Oh, God.

[Jen Hobby]

Can I tell you that if someday somebody said you work on a radio show where you'll get a phone call and the woman goes, my son ripped himself a new butthole, you'd say, welcome.

[Bert]

To the Burke show.

[Jen Hobby]

I would have bet you a month's salary that that would have never, ever, ever happened.

[Sally]

Yeah, it did. Unfortunately.

[Jeff]

I bet Hayden will never get a go kart now.

[Sally]

You know, he's only been on the thing about once or twice since, like I said, this has been two years ago. I don't think he'll be asking for any motorcycles or anything.

[Bert]

Hopefully.

[Jen Hobby]

That must have scared the crap out of him.

[Sally]

Yeah, I think it did.

[Jen Hobby]

May I at least have Tom.

[Bert]

Brian. Good morning. You're on the bird show. Hi.

[Susie]

Hi.

[Sally]

It's actually Brianne.

[Jen Hobby]

Brian.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Sally]

Hey. I bit my tongue off.

[Jeff]

No.

[Bert]

How did you do that?

[Sally]

I was running through my house and I tripped and fell down and bit it off.

[Bert]

I can't take anymore. I can't take anymore. I can't take any. I can't take anymore.

[Sally]

Oh, my God.

[Susie]

I can't take.

[Jen Hobby]

What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously.

[Bert]

Oh, no.

[Jen Hobby]

Look at the joy on your face.

[Bert]

Seeing the three of you in as much pain as you're in right now made it worth coming in this morning.

[Jen Hobby]

You're in a sick, sick man.

[Father Bailey]

Look at you.

[Jen Hobby]

Look at yourself.

[Bert]

There's one more I want to take, cuz I know the cringe factor is going to be so high on it. Michelle, you're gonna be the last call.

[Sally]

Okay?

[Bert]

Go ahead.

[Sally]

I was in the shower shaving my legs, and I had the razor in my hand up by my armpit, and I turned and I shaved the side of my nipple. Sliced the side of my nipple off.

[Father Bailey]

Off.

[Sally]

I swear, at bandaid, I didn't have stitches.

[Melissa]

But you catch it before I tell nipple stories.

[Jen Hobby]

You catch it before it went down the drain.

[Sally]

Oh.

[Bert]

Do you remember the woman that called us? This was years ago.

[Jen Hobby]

Yes, we do.

[Bert]

And said that she accidentally snipped off the little man in the boat.

[Sally]

Oh, no, no. Remember that?

[Bert]

Remember that one?

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Bert]

No, dude. Oh, that's just good clean fun right there.

[Jen Hobby]

Hit the button.

[Bert]

The bird show.

[Jen Hobby]

I am sanctified.

[Jeff]

Father Bailey is Here in studio with us. He is from Holy Spirit Catholic Church. And Father Bailey says, you know, don't diss Hollywood. We can learn a lot from Hollywood and the rumors about celebrities and what's going on in the entertainment buzz. So every week Father Bailey joins us and lets us know what we can learn from the situations going on in celebrities lives.

[Father Bailey]

That's right. That's right. And the title of my talk today is don't hate me. Cause you ain't me.

[Jeff]

Okay. Cause you ain't me.

[Father Bailey]

That's right. Cause you ain't me.

[Jeff]

Okay. I love this.

[Sally]

I love this.

[Father Bailey]

All right, all right.

[Melissa]

Speak it, brother.

[Father Bailey]

All right. Well, today I have all my information from the Q100 Entertainment Buzz website. And it goes as thus, give Jennifer Garner her props for not getting insane about losing her baby weight. Fitness guru Valerie Waters, who is working with her says, quote, jenna's on target to getting back to her pre baby figure through moderate exercise and sensible eating. She is not jumping on that celebrity mom bandwagon of getting super skinny super quickly. She is more concerned about keeping healthy and spending time with her baby Violet than anything else. Now, my friends, yes indeed, it's Father Bailey coming at you live from the pulpit of Q100. And this morning I want to talk about the beautiful Jennifer Garner and the so called weight issues that she's having. And as you notice what I said today from the entertainment buzz, there are people talking about that the sister ain't fine anymore. But I want to tell y' all a few things right now to let y' all know what's going on now. You know, we live in a very superfic world and we all want to make sure that we look right and look tight. I mean, I'm seeing a nutritionist right now who's helping me to eat right so I can live a good and healthy life. However, I feel that too many of us are concerned with the outward appearances that we are. And we are not focusing on what really matters on the inside. The Hollywood press is sweating Jennifer because she does not seem to have that daredevil and alias frame that we all have come to know and love. You know, talking about fellas, well, the last lady has just had a baby and she is a new mother. I mean, we need to celebrate the fact that Jennifer is doing her thing and she is confident about who she is and what she is doing. She has no need to go on the whacked out crack route. Jennifer is 33 years old. She made the Forbes list for one the best paid Actresses and she is a ranking person in the net cash flow of about $14 million. Therefore, the sister is cool and she is fine. That she is. However, there's a larger issue at hand, and that is she is not as thin as she used to be. Now, Atlanta and America leave Jennifer alone. Jennifer is taking her life in stride and she is doing the right thing. She is a loving mother as well as a secure human being. She has no need to get herself hyped up with the expectation of being the same physique that she was before she was a mother. Once again, my friends, this is haterology at its worst. We have to celebrate the fact that Jennifer has her head on rage, right? And that she has a healthy outlook on life. After all, as a mother, it is her responsibility to take care of the beautiful baby that she has as a gift. I have all confidence in the world that Jennifer will make all of these folks swear her once again. Because she will be the way and she'll look the way that she needs to be. Not for us, but for herself. Can I get an amen?

[Sally]

Amen.

[Father Bailey]

The message is this. And this is for everyone, but most of all, especially for the lovely ladies of the atu. Gail. My dear sisters, love yourselves for who you are. Don't be defined by what people want you to look like and what people want you to do. They ain't paying your bills, they ain't in your shoes, and they are not if they truly love and appreciate you for who you are, people who really matter. My boss, Jesus the Christ, had people trying to tell him what he should do day in and day out and how he should act. My boss kept on keeping on and he did what he had to do. In spite of the folks who talked about him, in spite of all the wrong things people did think about him. Like Jesus, Jessica needs to hang on and live her life. We are always going to have people to try to define us and tell us what we should be. As I was taught as a child. You need to tell these folks to stop dipping the Kool Aid when you don't know the flavor. This morning I want to tell you all, I am in the presence of some fine and beautiful women. And I can say that as a priest, that I can appreciate the fact that Jen and Melissa. Melissa can stand up for who they are each and every day. I am sure that they, like so many of you, have people saying that they need to change this and they need to do that. You've got to brush that hater residue off your Shoulders, ladies. And be proud of the fact that you are beautiful, that you are gifted, and that you are someone to behold.

[Jeff]

Amen.

[Father Bailey]

If you have someone in your life or around you trying to tell you what you need to look like, just know that if they are talking, taking that much time to tell you how you need to to be, then maybe they aren't happy with themselves. Remember that when you point one finger at someone, you have four more pointing back at yourself. So, in essence, you need to tell these folks when they come to tell you what you need to do. Don't hate me because you ain't me. Live your life, enjoy the gift of life that you have, and continue to step out in faith and know that you are beautiful just the way you are. Billy Joel had a song that said, I love you just the way you are. Are so fellas and ladies, if you want to step up your game and make your special loved one feel very special, just remember these words from Pastor Billy Joel. Don't go trying some new fashion. Don't change the color of your hair. You always have my unspoken passion. Although I may not seem to care. I said I love you and that's forever. And this I promise from the heart. I could not love you any better. I love you just the way you are. All my ladies of the ATL know that on March 27, 2006, we, your friends, your loved ones and family must tell you that we love you just the way you are. We can't hate you because we ain't you. Hang in there and be as secure and as beautiful as Jennifer Garner, because in the end, you must be happy with yourself, know that Father Ricardo Bailey from Holy Spirit Catholic Church loves you all just the way you are. And if for some reason, listen, someone still wants to tell you how you need to look and how you need to be, shake the dust off your shoulder, sisters, and say loud and proud, baby, don't hate me because you ain't me. Therefore, Atlanta, don't hate. Just appreciate. This is Father Ricardo Bailey coming at you live with the Beautiful Women of Q100. And this message is for everyone, especially all the lovely ladies of the atl. I'll holler y' all next time. Peace.

[Melissa]

All right.

[Susie]

Amen. So, hallelujah.

[Melissa]

So now I know that every time we get those emails from the listeners who may not have good things to say, all I have to respond back is, you know what? Don't hate me because you hate me.

[Father Bailey]

There you go.

[Jeff]

I love it.

[Bert]

I am so crunk and religious at the Same time.

[Father Bailey]

Pass collection basket, brother. Pass collection basket.

[Jeff]

You are the best.

[Father Bailey]

Oh, man. Well, thank you all. You all are the best.

[Jeff]

You are the best.

[Father Bailey]

And I really enjoy being here. And I have so many people out there who are the wind beneath my wings and. And they are the ones who helped me to be who I am. So thank you all for who you are and for what you do. And thank you, Q100, for allowing me to do this for all the people who I know love and serve well.

[Jeff]

And, you know, everybody always wants to know, okay, we've got to see Father Bailey in person. We've got to see him in person so they know you're from Holy Spirit Catholic Church. But where's the church and where can they find out more?

[Father Bailey]

The church is on 4465 Northside Drive. It's in the northwest part of Atlanta. It's actually where Northside Drive and Mount Perron Road actually meet.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Father Bailey]

It's a big old, beautiful church. It's Buddha.

[Bert]

Miss.

[Father Bailey]

It's beautiful. You go in there and, you know, just tell them, drop me an email or call and I'll let them know what's going on for the weekend.

[Jeff]

And we do have a link up to Father Bailey and the Holy Spirit Catholic Church website as [e-mail] Good morning, Vicki.

[Susie]

Good morning.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How are you?

[Bert]

Hey, Vicki.

[Susie]

I'm doing pretty good.

[Bert]

You're on with Father Bailey.

[Susie]

Father Bailey, how you doing?

[Father Bailey]

How are you doing, Vicki?

[Susie]

I'm wonderful now that I've heard what you just said this morning.

[Father Bailey]

Oh, man.

[Sally]

So much.

[Father Bailey]

Well, thank you.

[Bert]

Hey, good morning, Michelle.

[Sally]

Hey, guys. How are you this morning?

[Melissa]

Good.

[Sally]

I just want to say thank you to the Burt show and Father Bailey to get my week started off really good because I was kind of bummed out over my weekend and Monday just wasn't any better. And now I just feel like I got a whole new outlook on the day and I'm ready to go.

[Jeff]

Awesome.

[Bert]

There it is.

[Father Bailey]

Is.

[Jen Hobby]

And if you need some more uplifting.

[Bert]

If you go to all thehits q100.com.

[Jen Hobby]

Click on the getting Crunk with Father Bailey.

[Bert]

We have all of his inspirational messages online.

[Jen Hobby]

You can listen to him.

[Sally]

So that's you.

[Bert]

Yeah, that's you. Awesome. All right, Father Bailey, thank you so much as always.

[Father Bailey]

Thank you all so much. God bless you all.

[Jeff]

Thank you so much. Father Bailey from Holy Spirit Catholic Church. Again, all that information, if you want to go find Father Bailey, is up online at all the hits Q120 get it?

[Bert]

The bird show dude, did you order.

[Verizon Advertiser]

The new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America. I never look so good.

[Bert]

You look the same.

[Verizon Advertiser]

But with this camera, everything looks better.

[Jen Hobby]

Especially me.

[Bert]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

[Verizon Announcer]

Selfies check please with Verizon. Get the new iPhone 17 Pro. Designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever, plus a new iPad and Apple One. No trade in needed. Offer ends November 4th 5th with a new line on Unlimited Ultimate Best 5G Tours. Route Metrics Data United States 2020 25. All rights reserved. Additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[Verizon Advertiser]

Why Choose a Sleep Number Smart Bed.

[Sally]

Can I make my site softer?

[Jen Hobby]

Can I make my site firmer?

[Father Bailey]

Can we sleep cooler?

[Verizon Advertiser]

Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose your ideal comfort on either side your sleep number setting. Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night and now max out your savings. The more you buy, the more you save. Save on beds, bases and more. Plus get free home delivery on any smart bed with base limited time. Check it out at a Sleep Number store near you [e-mail] today.

[Bert]

When the.

[Jen Hobby]

Flu is keeping you up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu.

[Bert]

You got this. It provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. NYQUIL Intense Flight Flu the nighttime Sniffling.

[Jen Hobby]

Aching aching fever Best Sleep with a flu medicine Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children.