The Bert Show

Episode: Full Show PT 2: Monday, October 27 [Vault]
Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Pionaire Podcasting (Bert, Jeff, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and more)

Episode Overview

This lively and spontaneous episode of The Bert Show features classic segments packed with humor, relatable listener stories, heartwarming moments, and unique interviews. From inventive ways to approach dating and unexpected love stories to an unfiltered check-in with an incarcerated fan, the show maintains its casual, real, and quick-witted tone throughout. The highlight of the episode is a candid and laid-back interview with legendary producer Babyface, showcasing the crew's gift for both comedy and meaningful conversation.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Breaking the Ice at Work—Handling Bad Breath Anonymously

[01:44–05:30]

• Jeff discovers GentleHints.com: A site that anonymously notifies coworkers of bad breath, but the team decides to have “Melissa” deliver the message personally for comedic effect.
• On-air prank call: Jeff reluctantly pretends to be “Melissa from Q100,” calling a coworker about his “chronic halitosis.”
• Notable Quotes:
  • "We just have Melissa make the call for you." — Bert [01:44]
  • “God, this is gonna suck.” — Jeff [02:21]
• The prank evolves into an awkward but lighthearted exchange, with the recipient confused but ultimately amused.

2. Revisiting ‘Chiclets and Banaka’: The Secret Dating Code

[05:30–11:38]

• Background: The crew retells their “Chiclets and Banaka” system: A discreet, rejection-proof way to approach potential romances.
  • “Do you have any Chiclets?” — A secret code for interest.
  • “No, but I do have Banaka.” — Indicates mutual interest.
• Listener Story: Caller Summer shares how using this code led to a four-month relationship and a surprise engagement.
  • “And then he said, but I do have some Banaka. Bam.” — Summer [09:36]
  • “Across the table, he had a Chiclets box...[inside was] an engagement ring.” — Summer [10:00]
• Reactions:
  • The team is delighted, joking about Nobel Peace Prize nominations and possibly naming the couple’s first child Banaka.
  • “Chiclets plus Banaka equals love.” — Bert [08:38]

3. Interview with Babyface: Producer, Songwriter, Legend

[13:44–22:13]

Unconventional Beginnings

• Babyface arrives early and unassumingly, setting a relaxed tone.
  • "He was so unassuming… especially a big star like that." — Summer [14:03]
• The interview starts informally, with self-deprecating jokes and reference to MTV’s Real World.
  • "When’s the last time you started an interview off talking about a tick on a woman's boob?" — Burt, after Summer shares a Lyme disease story [15:12]

Keys to Spotting Talent

• Babyface explains the producer’s role and what he looks for:
  • "I'm a producer, musician, so I'll cut the music as well as... guide the singer… it's kind of like having a consultant, but you're really there for the artist." — Babyface [16:09–16:25]
  • "If [an artist has] just this hot personality and… charisma… and then of course, they have to be able to sing, have a certain vibe… It's got to be something special." — Babyface [17:00–17:13]
• He stresses that "star quality" is often more important than technical skill.

Reflections on His Own Stardom

• When asked if he’d produce himself:
  • "Probably not. I don't look at myself as a star." — Babyface [18:25]

Atlanta and Artistic Discovery

• Discusses moving to Atlanta to help found LaFace Records, which led to discovering major acts like TLC, Usher, and Outkast.
  • "We wanted our own backyard… Every big act that… went on to do great things basically… were here in Atlanta." — Babyface [18:52–19:47]

Songwriting & New Album Insight

• Discusses his single "What If"—about questioning the end of relationships.
  • “What if that house she's living in right now is supposed to be my house?” — Babyface [19:49]
• On writing emotional songs despite being married:
  • "I make my living off of people and their emotions." — Babyface [20:26]
• Playful challenge: Bert bets Babyface a million dollars to write a love song about ticks.
  • “If you can write a love song about ticks, I’ll give you a million dollars.” — Burt [21:00]
• Collaboration with Snoop Dogg on “Baby’s Mama”:
  • “Most people like what? Babyface and Snoop? That don't make sense.” — Babyface [21:25]

Memorable Moment:

• “I always remember the Tick story.” — Babyface, closing interview [22:00]

4. Melissa, Kidney Disease, and a Daring Dog Rescue

[22:13–28:14]

• Story setup: Melissa often cites kidney issues as excuses.
• Dog-sitting adventure: When Melissa’s dog Toby bolts, she moves with near-superhuman speed to recover him, shedding any narrative about physical limitations.
  • The crew uses exaggerated, comical sound effects to describe her agility and heroics.
• Light-hearted camaraderie: The team riff about the “General Lee” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” as analogies for Melissa’s maneuvering.

5. “George from Jail”: Unfiltered Prison Call-in

[30:02–37:52]

• Regular listener George, calling from federal prison, checks in with the show:
  • "We got this guy named George who calls in from jail every now and then just to check in with us." — Burt [30:02]
• Conversation covers:
  • His crime: Admits to bank robbery ("They say I robbed a bank." — George [31:51]).
  • Prison realities: Talks about life as an orderly, the maximum security atmosphere, and prison culture vs. Hollywood portrayals.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "You can't rehabilitate a hardcore criminal." — George [35:29]
  • "You learn by being in here a significant amount of time... you don't want to be here no more." — George [35:35]
• Personal notes: George has a family; his wife has leukemia.
• Show's reaction: Empathy and banter, ending with a promise to keep in touch.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dating Code Success:
  • “Chiclets plus Banaka equals love.” — Bert [08:38]
  • “And there was an engagement ring, and I was happy to marry him.” — Summer [10:00]
• On Star Power:
  • “We're in the star business.” — Babyface [18:14]
• On Prison:
  • "You learn by being in here a significant amount of time... you don't want to be here no more." — George [35:35]
• On Realness:
  • “You know, Jeff, they laughed at us. They mocked us. … When we submitted the forms for the Nobel Peace Prize. What did they do? They thumbed their noses at us. Now we're bridging the gap.” — Burt [10:49–10:57]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Prank Call: Bad Breath at Work: [01:44–05:30]
• Chiclets & Banaka Dating Code Success: [05:30–11:38]
• Babyface Interview: [13:44–22:13]
• Melissa’s Dog Rescue & Kidney Bit: [22:13–28:14]
• George from Prison Listener Call: [30:02–37:52]

Episode Tone & Style

• The Bert Show’s hallmark blend of conversational banter, mischievous humor, and honest, relatable moments permeates the episode.
• Hosts riff and joke with each other seamlessly, bringing listeners authentically into their world, while also showcasing warmth with their fans and guests.

For New Listeners

This episode perfectly showcases what makes The Bert Show a staple of morning radio: unpredictable storytelling, listener interaction, unique interviews, and spirited team chemistry. Real, funny, heartfelt, and never boring—it’s morning radio that turns any commute or day into something lighter and more connected.