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Bert
Q U-E-S-T.com Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The first show. All right, let's get into this Ling thing here, because this is pretty intense, man. I mean, put yourself in this situation where you've really got to make some very intense decisions very quickly.
Wendy
Yeah, absolutely. This is Laura Ling. She crossed over into North Korea and was captured. You know, something that we're not allowed to do. And so she did the wrong thing and was captured. But this is her and her sister on with Oprah Winfrey talking about the capture. They've written a book now, and I am desperately looking up the title right this second.
Bert
Why were they in North Korea in the first place? What were they investigating?
Wendy
Well, she was doing a story on North Korea and should not have crossed over the border while doing that story. But she explains here how that actually happened.
Laura Ling
We hired somebody who had worked with the media in the past. He knew the area well. He was very cautious up until that moment. And while we were on the river filming, he continued to walk across,
Melissa Carter
and
Laura Ling
our guide continued to walk closer and closer to North Korea. Right. And we followed him, and he motioned for us to follow.
Interviewer
The guide did.
Laura Ling
The guide did.
Caller/Guest
Okay.
Interviewer
Is there like a spot where, you know, in this. There's this line or there's some division that, you know that if you put your foot over that now you're in North Korea.
Laura Ling
There was not. There are no signs saying no trespassing. There's no barbed wire. There's no fence. There were no guards in sight. But of course, we did know that as you're crossing the river, you're getting closer and closer to the other side. We stepped foot in North Korea, and after less than a minute, we said, we need to leave. We walked back across the ice, and about halfway across the ice, we heard yelling coming from down the river. I turned around and saw two North Korean soldiers with rifles running towards us. They're running on the ice.
Interviewer
On the ice.
Bert
All right, so I've said this before, that if you look at this logically, look at careers logically, there has to be a best and There has to be a worst in every career. One of you is going to the best dentist in the world. One of you is probably going, mathematically, logically, to the crappiest. She got the crappiest tour guide and didn't know it walks her right over the North Korea line.
Wendy
Yeah, she did. And they were. She knew they were close, but. But she didn't know exactly where they were going. They were on Oprah yesterday to promote this new book. It's called Somewhere Inside One Sister's Captivity in North Korea and the Others Fight to Bring Her Home. That's the name of it. That's why they were on Oprah telling the story. And here she is after she was captured. What happened to Laura Ling, in her own words?
Laura Ling
There was a guard above me. He was particularly fierce. And he. As I was down on the soil, he was above me. He kicked me with his boot. He knocked me in the face, in the shoulder. And that just sent a shock through me. And then he continued to drag me across the ice. And there was a soldier upon, you know, that was doing the same. So we were slowly being dragged across the frozen river. And while we were on the ice, again, I wanted to try to do anything I could to stay as close as I could to China. And I. And I actually started yelling, please, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We're sorry. And I think that only made him more upset.
Interviewer
So he's dragging you across the ice.
Laura Ling
He's dragging and I'm screaming, or were you?
Interviewer
Did I read, too, that he hit you with a gun butt?
Laura Ling
At that moment on the ice, it was about. He was getting closer and closer to North Korea. He raised his rifle, the butt of his rifle. And I looked up, I saw the rifle coming down, and I thought this could be the end for me. The butt of the rifle struck my head and I blacked out.
Melissa Carter
Oh, God.
Wendy
Yeah. So that's what happens at the first capture. And then once they are captured, she and the other journalist she was with were left alone for a short time. She was working for a San Francisco based. Current TV is what it's called. It's a media venture founded by former Vice President Al Gore. So that's who she was working for. She was actually doing a story on the sex trade in North Korea and the things that are happening there.
Bert
That must have been like the reality moment right there, because when you get
Joanna
a rifle to the head, you get
Bert
a rifle to the butt of the head, like, all of a sudden, like this, you think you don't see this in our country. Generally, a cop's not gonna come up to you, and he's certainly not gonna be that kind of physical. And when you get that kind of rifle butt to the head, you're like, damn, these people are not messing around. This is the real thing here.
Wendy
And here's what they tried to do once they were captured.
Interviewer
You write in somewhere inside that there was a moment where you were left alone and you all destroyed the tapes, which I was like, oh, you at least got to destroy the tapes. And that you ate your notes. You chewed up your notes.
Laura Ling
It was very early on. It was the first day that we were captured, and for six reason, we were left alone with our belongings for a short period of time. So with guards right outside our door, we thought, we need to get rid of this evidence because we don't want anyone to be endangered. So we ripped up notes from the notebook, ate them, ripped up videotapes, deleted pictures, and did whatever we could in the little time that we had to destroy the evidence in our possession.
Wendy
Now, here's what Bert was talking about earlier. When she has to lie to save her own life. Remember you were saying, I mean, you've
Bert
gotta make a decision here. I mean, a really tough decision. What do I do? Cuz, you know, you're taught your entire life, go the honest route. Go the honest route, Tell the truth and the system will work for you. Well, in this case in North Korea, you tell the truth, the system doesn't work for you.
Laura Ling
No, in their mind, I was trying to overthrow the government.
Interviewer
And at one point, didn't you tell them I was trying to overthrow the government?
Laura Ling
Yes. I knew that that was the confession that they wanted to hear. And I was told if you confess, there may be forgiveness. And if you don't, if you're not frank, if you don't confess, then the worst could happen. And so it was the most difficult decision to have to do that. I didn't know if I was sealing my fate and could be sent out to a firing squad the next day. But I just had to trust that this was the right thing to do.
Wendy
They were at first in their captivity in a five by six foot jail cell, and they say that, or she says she was visited by a doctor, inspect the wounds that she received while she was trying to evade the capture.
Bert
Okay, in a second, Jenna's gonna tell you what knight in shining armor comes into Korea and saves the day. But first, John wants in on this. Hey, John.
Caller/Guest
Hey. How you guys doing this morning?
Bert
Good man. Thank you for calling.
Caller/Guest
Just want to say briefly, real quickly, I can sympathize with the journalist because I'm a retired Air Force pilot and I was shot down and I was a POW of war for 11 years. So I can sympathize on what they went through, because what they did to us is a whole lot worse.
Bert
What's just give us a little insight, like, what's it like to be in captivity? A POW in Korea, nonetheless, for 11 years.
Caller/Guest
Eleven years, just basically put a lab rat in a cage and then just stick it in a dryer for 24 hours. But do that every day.
Bert
You're just like, by the time you
Caller/Guest
fall asleep, think you're gonna get some rest, they come in and they wake you up, they beat you around some more, and then now you're just so tired you can't stay awake. They keep you awake.
Wendy
Did you think you were gonna survive it?
Caller/Guest
I didn't think I was gonna make the first six weeks, really. But then after that, you know, thinking of family, home, coming home, hopefully parents, future, then the wheel starts to take over. So I can sympathize with what those journalists went through, and it's no joke over there.
Bert
At Some point over 11 years, you must have thought, I mean, if they're doing this to you every day, I'll just kill myself.
Caller/Guest
Oh, well. Made me a stronger person now because I'm in correctional officer now.
Bert
Wow, really?
Wendy
Yeah, this.
Joanna
He's laughing about it.
Bert
Yeah, like.
Joanna
Well, I mean, I work in the prisons now.
Caller/Guest
Well, you got. You gotta. You gotta get your mind out of that. If not, you can end up like, you know, a vegetable. You just gotta say, okay, it happened to me. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm talking to the bird show. I.
Joanna
You know, I'm wondering, does it make you mad when you see prisoners who have committed, like, violent crimes in the U.S. get to watch TV and write letters?
Caller/Guest
Honestly, these guys playing cards and basketball and stuff are doing heinous crimes. Murder, rape and all that stuff. We should just be put in a box and sheltered for the next five years so they know. Just total silence.
Bert
Could you imagine, like, being one of, you know, like, his guys? Like, you think it's bad here? You think it's bad because you get three square meals here, right?
Joanna
Because we just took away. We just took away your.
Caller/Guest
I could say this. They. They would give us some food, but by the time you had the strength to eat it, to deal with flies and maggots in your food, so you had to work around those.
Wendy
Oh, wow.
Bert
And who knows if it's any worse or any better. Here for. For Lisa Lang. John, thank you very much for calling, man.
Caller/Guest
God bless you.
Wendy
Laura Lang and another journalist, Yuna Lee, were the ones who were captured back in March of 2009. And a couple of months into it, they were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor. After that sentencing, Laura Ling said she just got super depressed.
Interviewer
You were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor, and when you heard that, what did you do? How did you feel?
Laura Ling
I was petrified. I. I had tried to prepare myself for a long sentence. I told myself this could be. It could be long. But once I heard those words, 12 years come from the judge. I mean, I could barely stand up straight.
Interviewer
And didn't he say, no forgiveness and no.
Laura Ling
No forgiveness, no appeal? And that's what really cut into me. So I just. I spiraled into a deep depression, and I refused my meals, and I just kind of huddled into a dark corner of the room for quite a while.
Wendy
But they say there was only one knight in shining armor who could have saved her.
Interviewer
When Bill Clinton arrived, you all are walking down a hall, and you had heard that maybe he might be coming, right?
Caller/Guest
Right.
Interviewer
Yeah.
Laura Ling
I mean, it was unreal. It was surreal. I was walking down a hallway with dozens of North Korean security agents, and I see this bald American with an earpiece, Secret Service agent. And I just felt the presence of my country. And I was ushered. You and I were ushered into a room, and standing before us was President Clinton and seriously felt like it was this angelic figure that had come to save us.
Interviewer
And what did you say to him?
Laura Ling
I said to him, president Clinton, we've apologized for what we've done. I hope that you can do the same and apologize on our behalf. He said that that's been done. I still have a little bit more work to do, but I hope and I believe that you will be on that plane with us tomorrow.
Interviewer
Wow. That had to feel like, what?
Laura Ling
I mean, unreal.
Bert
Unreal.
Laura Ling
And the only person that could come to our rescue was President Clinton. And we are so, so appreciative.
Bert
All he heard was that he was going to a women's prison.
Wendy
Oh, come on.
Joanna
You want to go get a couple of women over in Korea? Yeah, I do. Gas up the jet, point it east.
Wendy
Like, you know, like foreign policy. Well enough to know why he. Why was he the only one that could have.
Bert
The only diplomat? I'm not really sure what the heck was there.
Joanna
I think he had. Just remembering from the story, when it happened like he had some sort of relationship with North Korea. And the guy who. The Kim Jong crazy, the guy who runs North Korea, like he loved Bill Clinton for some reason. Like, he had, like, a relationship with the rapper.
Wendy
They had a rapport.
Joanna
Because, remember, at that time, Hillary Clinton was the Secretary of State.
Bert
Right, that's right.
Joanna
Or at least the appointee. So she should have been the one to do that. But everybody knew that because of who this guy, this leader of Korea loved Bill Clinton so much, they knew that he would be able to facilitate it. I think that's the story. Gotcha. Or something similar to that.
Wendy
Yeah. Craziness. She also talks about how she actually abused herself.
Interviewer
You know, you talk a little bit at the end of the book and shared with us, having to put your family through this, the US Government through this. But during that whole time, were you thinking about what. How did this happen to you, that you got yourself into this situation?
Laura Ling
Of course. And I was angry at myself. I would go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror and think, who are you? And how did this happen? And I literally would. I hit myself. I slapped myself because I wanted to punish myself for putting my family through this. And I. I thought about that every day and the pain that they must be feeling, that was the hardest thing for me.
Bert
Intense, man.
Wendy
Crazy.
Bert
I mean, that's somebody's life right there. That sounds like. Like a made for TV movie, right?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
I bet you it will be a movie eventually.
Bert
Here's Angie. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.
Melissa Carter
Hi, Bert Show. Love the show.
Bert
What's going on?
Melissa Carter
I watched the show yesterday, and I have to say I really sympathize with what she went to on one hand. But on the other hand, I really feel like some of that she brought on herself. I mean, I say that because when you crossed that river from China into North Korea, you may not have known what footstep was gonna lead you into North Korea, but you knew where you were headed to. And that's exactly what she said on the show.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
I don't know if you can blame her as much as you can blame the guide.
Melissa Carter
I'm not blaming her. But there are certain situations that you can keep yourself out of danger for
Bert
some people, it's very black and white, man. You're either in the right, you're in the wrong.
Wendy
You know, she's a journalist. That's what she does.
Bert
She's a journalist. You're always pushing there.
Spinquest Announcer
Get it?
Bert
The Bird Show.
Cassie
This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.
Laura Ling
All.
Cassie
I took a look at my closet the other day, like truly looked at it and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Hey, everybody.
Laura Ling
Lady luck here.
Melissa Carter
And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
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Melissa Carter
It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Head on over to spin quest.com. get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.
Bert
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. You're on the Birch Show. So Bobby Cox gets kicked out of the Braves game last night and it's a very big deal for the Birch show, right? And Bobby Cox is coming out. He may have just been thrown out of the game by Ron Culpa. Bobby out there talking with Culpa. At this point, if we're all watching, we're like, no, no, no, no, no. That should have been a strike call
Interviewer
on
Bert
Matthews trying to Bunt at it when the ball was getting through. McCann, I think Bobby's been tossed. All right, so normally that's not a big deal, but Melissa Carter will tell you why it's a big deal that Bobby Cox got kicked out. Hey, Melissa.
Melissa Carter
Hello.
Bert
Hello. You want to tell everybody why it's a big deal that Bobby Cox got kicked out of that game last night?
Melissa Carter
What are you talking about? This is my go to outfit now. Bobby Cox. Yes, coach. In the ninth inning, even though the Braves won the game, he wasn't too happy at a call at first base. So he got ejected from the game. And we decided at the beginning of the season, every time. Hi. Every time that bodycock that we draw names and one of us has to go out on a busy spot corner in our more street during morning traffic. And so I'm out here in Buckhead at the corner of seascreen and Piedmont. And we have a lot of listeners that come by, so that's a good thing. So there's a lot of listeners that are honking and you know, you know, woo. And then there's people that are very, very confused. But there was one of Atlanta's finest that was walking up the sidewalk.
Caller/Guest
Hey.
Melissa Carter
And I thought, hey. And I thought, I'm about to get arrested in. I mean, like, imagine the mug shots in this thing.
Bert
Yeah.
Melissa Carter
However, she decided that she just wanted a picture with me, so I'm a hit with the police officer.
Bert
So if you've never seen one of these morph suits before, we'll have the pictures up online@thebirdshow.com but it's a skin tight, like superhero uniform without any graphics. But it's like the spider man kind. So it's from head to toe and it is skinny.
Melissa Carter
That's a perfect description. But this is a blue spider man suit because of the braids. We're doing it blue for the braids. So I'm out here with a sign that Wendy did a great job making this boring that says go Braids. The Burke says Q100 at 99.7.
Wendy
How does it feel to be in the morph suit? Like, what does it feel like on your skin?
Bert
Dead sexy. Problem?
Melissa Carter
Well, Burke, yes, absolutely. Except on your face because it's weird to have. I mean, it's almost as if somebody is. Is basically trying to suffocate me. But nobody says it's hard to talk. And then if you have long lashes, they kind of get pushed into your eye. But other than that, it's fun. And it is actually freeing for a Lot of people who may be shy. This is your perfect costume because nobody knows who you are unless you have a sign that says the bird tail on it.
Bert
Melissa's voice sounds muffled, not because of her carrier, but because of the. The costume is over her mouth.
Wendy
This suit goes over her entire head. Face, arms, fingers, toes. You name it.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
It's like a big onesie.
Bert
So, Melissa, we had a question on the rules of this bet, because I think when we were talking about it, we said that everybody's name would stay in the drawing for the next time that Bobby gets kicked out. Are you cool with that?
Melissa Carter
Well, I'm cool with that if I get to check if I get to write the names on the pieces of paper.
Bert
Now, how long are you going to be out there? Figured you can come home here in a little bit.
Joanna
Yeah, I think you're done out here.
Melissa Carter
I've been out here for about 20 minutes, so you know what? It's up to you guys, because however long I'm out here, you have to be out here.
Joanna
Yeah.
Bert
Come on back.
Interviewer
Great job.
Melissa Carter
Great job.
Bert
Super job. Come on.
Melissa Carter
All right, all right, all right.
Bert
So the next time Bobby gets kicked out of a game, once again, we'll put all of our names in a hat, minus Melissa Carter. And someone's gonna have to go out to another street corner in that morph suit.
Spinquest Announcer
This is the Birch show.
Wendy
So I am suffering from bss, and that is bathing suit season stress. It is a new disorder that I am coming up with.
Bert
There has to be a syndrome on the end of that also.
Wendy
Oh, so in other words, bss.
Bert
Yes, because syndrome makes everything seem way worse than it really is.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Yes.
Wendy
So bathing suit season stress syndrome.
Joanna
It's closely related to morph suit loss syndrome, isn't it?
Wendy
Yeah, something like that. But I have a big trip to Europe planned with my boyfriend this summer, and I really want to look good for it. And it's like when we booked the tickets and booked the trip and everything, I was, like, all excited, and I'm like, oh, that's plenty time. For now, I'll be, like, tight and fit and trim, whatever. And I'll be looking good in the bikini. And then now, all of a sudden, it's like, ooh, it's the end of May, and then it's gonna be here before you know it. And so, I don't know, I'm just starting to totally stress out about being in a bathing suit, and I'm guessing that other women are feeling the same thing. And I'm pretty pale, too. So I'm kinda, like, pasty and feeling like I could drop a few pounds and everything else. And so I'm just in that mode where everything is stressing me out. Like, when I'm putting on my pants in the morning, I'm like, oh, these are a little snug. And then I'm like, you know, when I'm eating lunch that I really like, it's just, like, more on my mind than it ever would be throughout the entire winter when you can wear sweaters and jeans.
Bert
We got a reoccurring theme going on here that women stress out way further in advance than dudes do when it comes to stuff like this.
Wendy
We stress out all the time between
Bert
you and your luggage and being stressed out about packing five days before a trip, or you stressed out or constantly thinking about this trip months before it even happens. Dudes, we wait for everything for the last minute. 24 hours.
Wendy
24 hours. As you're packing, you're like, oh, wish I would have done some more crunches.
Cassie
Or.
Joanna
Yeah, you turn the heat way up. Wrap yourself in Saran Wrap.
Wendy
I do do that. Really?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Yeah, it works.
Wendy
Really?
Joanna
It does.
Laura Ling
Not the Saran Wrap thing.
Cassie
Yeah, Saran Wrap works.
Wendy
You got to do the night before thing.
Joanna
What?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
You got to do it the night before.
Joanna
This is taking a beautiful turn.
Bert
Here we go. So what are you doing?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Like, if you need to, like, just, like. Like, lose a couple of, like, water weight pounds. You wrap your whole body in Saran Wrap. Because then you wake up in sweat and all the water weighs.
Joanna
You go to bed wrapped in Saran Wrap.
Wendy
Disgusting.
Bert
So what you're doing is you're draining your body of the water.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Yeah, but you gotta drink, like, plenty of water before you do it. But, yeah, you wrap yourself up.
Bert
It's sort of the same thing that wrestlers. It's the same thing wrestlers do. Like, before a meet. If. I mean, they don't wrap themselves up in Saran Wrap, but they'll trash bags. Sweats after sweats after sweats and trash bag, trash bag. And you run to get that water weight before weighing.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Mm. You've never. Pageant girls, I think, do that, too, to, you know, to slim down their legs before they do the bathing suit and pageants.
Wendy
I don't think I'm gonna go quite that far. I was trying to figure out if it means that much to me to look that good in a bathing suit, but I don't think that I could go that far.
Bert
So now the trip is when?
Wendy
It's not until July.
Bert
July. So Everything that you're putting in your mouth now, everything that you're trying on now, you're sort of your target is always how you're going to look in Europe.
Wendy
Yeah, I actually thought about going to buy a bikini, like this weekend and kind of hang it up on the wall so that it's like, oh, I'm always looking at it. Until the going to Europe, you just
Joanna
run around naked and don't even have to shave your pants.
Bert
Hey, Jessica. Good morning. You're on the bird show. Hi.
Melissa Carter
Hi. I love you guys. I listen every morning.
Bert
Thank you.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Morning.
Melissa Carter
Sure. I get your stress, girlfriend. I've only lost £12. I'm getting married on Saturday, and so I've only lost £12. But it's a start. So just keep working on it. You've got plenty of time.
Wendy
Yours would be WDSs, wedding dress stress syndrome.
Caller/Guest
It's ridiculous for no reason.
Bert
And you're trying to lose how much weight?
Melissa Carter
No, no, no. It's way too late.
Caller/Guest
No, I wanted to lose more, but
Melissa Carter
I've only lost 12.
Joanna
Not according to Wendy. If you actually climb in your oven
Wendy
with aluminum foil.
Joanna
Yeah, you could.
Wendy
You could Saran Wrap tonight.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Reh.
Wendy
Rehearsal dinner's tomorrow, right? Wendy, are you.
Cassie
Seriously, you fly out to LA on Sunday. Are you gonna Saran Wrap Saturday night?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
No, I'm not gonna Saran Wrap me.
Wendy
I used to.
Bert
They won't let you through security, man.
Spinquest Announcer
I'm not going for you.
Joanna
Cause I gotta tell you, Wendy, you're not gonna Saran Wrap in la, right?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
No, I'm not.
Joanna
Cause if there's a chance that you're wrapped in Saran Wrap and the hotel catches on fire, I pretend not to know you. I'm not knocking on your door in la.
Bert
In la, you'll fit right in. Are you kidding me? Everybody's Saran Wrapping themselves right before you go to bed. Hey there, Jessica. I was gonna ask Jessica, like, at what point? Because she's like, resolved to the facts. I'm wondering if that happened like last week or 10 days ago when she's just like. I remember the meal where I just said, screw it. I'm not gonna lose all the weight anyway, so I might as well enjoy myself.
Cassie
But she said she lost 12 pounds. She's been working on her wedding probably for a year, you know, or at least six months.
Laura Ling
Yes.
Cassie
I mean, she. I mean, anytime you have an event as a woman, because. Yeah, it doesn't just happen. Like, if somebody. If somebody is in a certain shape, that didn't just happen. They've been. They planned.
Wendy
If it's a woman, they plan that.
Bert
So let me ask you a question then. Like, let's say Joanna, right? She's getting married when?
Wendy
Next May.
Bert
Next May? Well, she already like have in the back of her mind now how she wants to look next May and be as particular about what she eats now
Wendy
for a year from now, probably especially for a wedding day. Really? That's probably. Yeah, that's definitely for the wedding day.
Bert
This is such a foreign conversation to me. Hey, Amber. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show.
Melissa Carter
Hey. I was just telling Jess you could call it B quad S. That way it sounds more, you know, professional. So if she's having a bad day.
Wendy
Oh, I like that.
Caller/Guest
Yeah.
Melissa Carter
My B quad. My B quad S is messing up
Caller/Guest
today
Wendy
because of the four S's. The bathing suit stress syndrome syndrome.
Melissa Carter
Sounds better than BSS season.
Wendy
Stress syndrome.
Melissa Carter
Exactly.
Bert
I'm confused.
Wendy
Got it.
Bert
Quad S. That sounds like a rapper name.
Wendy
We got a new hit from B quad.
Bert
Here is Connie. Good morning, Connie. You're on the Bird Show. Hi.
Melissa Carter
Hi. Good morning.
Cassie
Good morning.
Melissa Carter
I got back from a transit point cruise that took me from Puerto Rico to Spain.
Cassie
Nice.
Melissa Carter
Don't worry about a thing. There was 400 pounders topless and thongs. You have nothing to worry about now.
Bert
Is that. You said that was a cruise, though.
Melissa Carter
It was a cruise that we went to Canary Islands and the Cadiz in Barcelona.
Bert
Nice.
Wendy
Nice.
Melissa Carter
Cadiz in Barcelona.
Caller/Guest
Tenerife.
Melissa Carter
Topless beaches.
Wendy
I didn't know they had fat people in Europe.
Bert
Now they do.
Melissa Carter
Yeah, there's a few of them.
Bert
Anytime there's a cruise, there's overweight people. You got to know that.
Joanna
Joanna.
Spinquest Announcer
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Joanna
Just made a confession from her phone screening studio that she not only was planning on losing weight for her own wedding, but she lost weight for someone else's wedding.
Wendy
That she was the maid of honor, isn't she?
Joanna
She wasn't even in it. She was just attending it.
Wendy
And she lost weight.
Bert
This is the Birch Show.
Cassie
This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it. Y', all, I took a look at my closet the other day, like, truly looked at it. And I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never, ever wear, and it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet. And I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US on Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.
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Bert
Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. It's the vert show Conspiracy Theories. Is this mainly a dude thing? Is this going to be boring for half of our audience here?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
I don't think so.
Wendy
I think conspiracy theories are fascinating, but I think more men believe them wholeheartedly than women do. Maybe that's a generalized statement, but I think men typically spend some more time crafting these things.
Bert
So we're just talking about this whole Laura Ling situation in North Korea. And it's pretty nasty situation. I mean, she had to really make. She was doing a piece on North Korea on the sex trade industry.
Wendy
That's right.
Bert
And her tour guide, great, this must have been his first day, walks her right on over into the. Into North Korea and she don't even know it until North Korean soldiers surround them and say, you're not allowed to be here. And they're pulling her by the hair. And then she takes the butt of a gun to the head and then it's real Then it gets serious.
Wendy
And then she was in captivity. She was in a small cell for the first couple of weeks, but she was captive for 140 days until President Bill Clinton came over and was able to negotiate for her freedom.
Bert
So we have a virtual listener that called us a couple of minutes ago and thinks that this is a conspiracy theory. I'd love to hear what your conspiracy theories are. And I'll make fun of you. Just want to hear them. Because I do think that I pretty much take things at face value.
Wendy
Me too.
Bert
I just think that things, you know, like, so complicated to actually launch most of these theories that I just don't think people think that far ahead. But I guess it is absolutely possible. So if you have one. 404-741-Q100.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Well, usually conspiracy theories have to do with some sort of government thing. The government's always behind everything. There's nine, 11 conspiracy theories. How it wasn't real airline planes, it was military planes, and they were brought down by bombs. But I think they're mostly like that. There's Elvis conspiracy theories. There was that Michael Jackson conspiracy theory just the other week that he was on.
Joanna
He appeared on Larry King after he died.
Bert
There's gotta be something more important than that, though. On Wikipedia, when you're looking about conspiracy theories, wars mostly, like, number one, the motivations for nations starting, entering or ending wars are often brought into question by conspiracy theorists. Munitions suppliers are often blamed for wars.
Wendy
Well, the first call we had talked about global warming. He thinks that's a conspiracy theory. It's something that was made up that's actually not happening to our world and our atmosphere as we dump oil into the Gulf.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
And what's fascinating about.
Joanna
Well, one doesn't have to do with the other.
Wendy
The global warming doesn't have to do
Joanna
with oil in the Gulf.
Wendy
Well, I was just saying we're ruining the planet.
Bert
Your jokes better be accurate, cave woman.
Wendy
He hasn't said anything in two hours. I'm just glad you're part of the show, Jeff.
Bert
Clinton body count is the theory that Bill Clinton was sort of killing off some of his staff members that were getting in his way.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Miranda.
Bert
So there are many of these conspiracy theorists. Let's just pretend here. Okay? Well, we will form sort of a wall around you. We're not gonna make fun of you, just want to hear him. 404741Q100. Hello.
Caller/Guest
Hey, what's going on?
Bert
You tell us what's going on.
Caller/Guest
My theory is, is that we've never been to the moon?
Bert
Never been my grandfather. This was a. This was a. This is an old school one right here, cuz. My grandparents believe this was a conspiracy also, man.
Wendy
You think that?
Caller/Guest
Well, if you look at the footage, I mean, it's pretty crappy, but it just looks like it could have easily been done on some Hollywood lot. You know, we've never been back to the moon since we can barely, in some cases, get rockets and spacecrafts to get out of our atmosphere without, you know, some kind of complication or, God forbid, an explosion like the one years ago. But two words that will absolutely blow a hole in the fact that we've been to the moon.
Joanna
Okay.
Caller/Guest
Moon Bucky, Moon buggy. Moon buggy. Who came up with the moon buggy? Well, buggies were very popular back in the 70s, so all of a sudden they put a buggy on the moon. So if we'd have gone to the moon today, what would people be rollerblading? Would that be on skateboards? Moon buggy. You gotta be kidding.
Bert
Segue. Moon segue today.
Wendy
Okay.
Joanna
You seemed oddly passionate when it got to the buggy part.
Bert
Well, conspiracy theorists are very passionate about this. And they don't have a. They don't have much voice.
Wendy
Mm.
Bert
Like, I guess now the. With the Internet, you can blog about it, but publicly you don't have much of a voice. And people want to kind of say, you're freak, man.
Joanna
No way.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
And you can look at different circumstances. That's the funny part about conspiracy theories, because there's always like a little nugget that you're like, hey, that could be true. Or, hey, I saw that in the photograph, like with the moon thing, there's apparently on part of the picture of Lance Armstrong on the moon, there's a little like, dark spot where they're like, that's supposed to be the camera and lighting equipment in the background. Then you look at it, you're like, huh, that could really be a camera and lighting equipment in the background. So it just makes you think. And then as soon as you start thinking, you're like, I believe it.
Bert
This physical therapist that's helping me through my knee, he is. He sort of believes that professional basketball and football games are all set up.
Wendy
Oh, really?
Joanna
There's a big argument during this year's playoffs for TV revenue.
Wendy
Oh, really?
Laura Ling
TV revenue?
Bert
Yeah, like, the bigger markets usually get in because the TV revenue is in ratings. And if you notice, like in a basketball game, like the star, if the. The opposing team is winning, the star of the other team gets a little bit More leeway so they can score some more points to even up a series. A lot of people believe stuff like that.
Wendy
Really?
Bert
Hey, Brad. Good Morning. You're on Q100.
Caller/Guest
Hey, good morning.
Bert
Good morning.
Caller/Guest
I think that the Toyota acceleration getting stuck was a conspiracy to help boost US Auto sales.
Bert
Oh, wow.
Wendy
That's actually a great conspiracy theory.
Bert
And when you tell your group of friends about that, they probably look at you like, come on, man.
Caller/Guest
Yeah, they don't believe it. They think I'm crazy, right?
Wendy
I wouldn't believe it if I had a Toyota. That accelerator got stuck, it shot through
Joanna
the front of my closed garage door.
Bert
Laura, good morning. Your conspiracy theory.
Melissa Carter
I believe that they will not find the cure for cancer.
Wendy
Oh, that's horrible.
Joanna
There's actually a pretty significant conspiracy theory that they have already found a cure for cancer. But because cancer is such big business that it's.
Wendy
Oh, don't say that.
Joanna
It's kept buried because then everybody doing
Wendy
that is going to hell.
Joanna
Because there's. I mean, there's so much money to be made in the research and attacking that disease. I've heard that before.
Wendy
Oh, that makes me sad.
Bert
Is that your theory, Laura?
Melissa Carter
Yeah. I have stage four cancer and they know chemo does not work, but yet they continue to give it.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Oh, that's awful.
Bert
So what are you doing? What alternative ways are you doing to fight it?
Melissa Carter
I go to Progressive Medical and spend a ton of money to get vitamin C. I get injections. I get big needles stuck in me all the time just to clear out all the crap out of my body. Because the toxins in our environment is causing cancer. They know it's not genetic anymore.
Wendy
And are you doing any of the Chinese medicine? I've heard of people looking at alternate therapies there, too.
Melissa Carter
Yeah, we're looking at all kinds of stuff.
Interviewer
Wow.
Bert
Thanks for calling, Laura. I'm not going to argue with a woman that has cancer.
Caller/Guest
Nope.
Bert
Good morning, Mike. You are on Q100. Hi.
Caller/Guest
Yeah, I just want to let you guys know Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France and Neil Armstrong.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Oh, yeah, Neil Armstrong. My bad.
Bert
Why did you say. I said Lance Armstrong was on the moon. I didn't even catch. I didn't even catch
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
one of those Armstrongs.
Bert
Damn it. Why did I catch that?
Joanna
I've got a conspiracy theory that Wendy's bright.
Bert
Cameron, good morning. You're on the Birch Show. Conspiracy theories.
Caller/Guest
Hi. If you've ever noticed, when you try to eat healthy on a diet, the food always costs. So much more expensive than everything else. I think it's the government making. Making sure that Americans stay unhealthy and stay in the hospitals paying more taxes.
Bert
Yeah. I also know a lot of people that believe that because there's money in the industry for pesticides and stuff like that. So you can't really. You can't. You can't have completely healthy food because in the industry that's supplying the chemicals, they go under also. I've heard that.
Melissa Carter
Yeah.
Caller/Guest
And if the government can raise higher taxes to the producers, then they can. That means more cost to them, which means higher prices in the stores for us.
Bert
Thank you for calling and Felicia, good morning. You've got a conspiracy theory.
Caller/Guest
I do. I think OJ didn't do it, but I know who did.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Okay, you think did it.
Caller/Guest
His son.
Melissa Carter
His son hated Nicole. He's big and strong like his dad.
Caller/Guest
And he was a chef, so he was good with knives.
Melissa Carter
Any father will cover for his son later in life is gonna come out.
Bert
So he took. He took the fall for his son.
Caller/Guest
Yep.
Bert
Okay.
Wendy
That's a good theory.
Melissa Carter
And I. Yeah.
Bert
And you're sure of this one? I'm sure you are sure of this one. Thank you for calling.
Wendy
That would be a good one if that ever came out.
Bert
Oh, that would be beautiful.
Wendy
There's all kinds of conspiracy theories on Marilyn Monroe's death that it wasn't an overdose, that it was that she was intentionally murdered because she was having an affair with the president.
Bert
That's right.
Joanna
The whole thing about Elvis Presley's tombstone.
Bert
What's that one?
Joanna
His name is misspelled. His middle name is wrong on his tombstone. Like his middle name is Aaron, but it's spelled, I think, on his birth certificate. Like his given Name was with 1A or 2, but on the tombstone, it's the opposite.
Bert
Oh, really?
Wendy
Uhhuh.
Joanna
So he's not really in there. And that's how it's.
Caller/Guest
Okay.
Bert
Here, Virt.
Cassie
This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Hey, it's Cassie. And this is your heads up that you're probably sitting on a fat stack of cash and you don't even realize it, y'.
Laura Ling
All.
Cassie
I took a look at my closet the other day, like, truly looked at it, and I realized I probably don't wear half of it. It's just sitting there taking up space and guilt tripping me every time I buy a new piece of clothing, reminding me that, oh, I'm running out of closet space and I have all these beautiful clothes I never, ever wear. And it's become this weird pain point in my life. And then I found Vinted. Vinted is a secondhand app that makes it easy for everyday people like you and me to sell pre loved fashion and earn some extra money. Vinted was the motivation I needed to clean out my closet, and I'm betting it's the same for you. So picture this. You use Vinted now. You've got a less cluttered closet, a refreshed wardrobe with new pieces that you don't feel guilty about, and you made money. It's a win, win, win. And the extra nice part is that listing items on Vinted is quick and simple. And once an item sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So if you're ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money, download the Vinted app for free and start listing. With no seller fees, you keep every dollar you earn. And for a limited time, you can enjoy free shipping in the US On Vinted. Can't wait to see what y' all are selling.
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Bert
Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. The Birch Show Bert Show.
Melissa Carter
Hi, good morning. Love you guys, by the way.
Bert
Thank you.
Melissa Carter
Hey, I just wanted to comment really quickly. Does Wendy ever get annoyed with Joanna giving her advice?
Bert
Does Wendy ever get annoyed by producer Joanna giving her advice?
Melissa Carter
Yeah, I'm just curious because it seems like on more than one occasion, she kind of comes off like, you know, she knows better than Wendy does and she's like, I'll be more than happy to help you. Or, you know, I'm just wondering. I'm gonna hang up and listen.
Bert
I'm just curious. I'm gonna get out of the line of fire now.
Joanna
I have a question. Is Wendy gonna answer this question honestly?
Laura Ling
Yeah.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
I'm not. I'm not annoyed with Joanna's advice. I just think it's different advice for different people and it works for different people. I think I'm different than Joanna by a long shot. Joanna's more confident and has a different way that goes about her. And I just think I'm completely different person. So I, I can take the Advice. But I don't necessarily think the advice works for me and my personality because I'm more of a shy and reserved person unless I'm out and about with my girlfriend. So it's, it's just a, a different scenario and a different way that she looks at things.
Bert
Producer Joanna came in here just a couple of minutes ago when Wendy was talking about doing a little one on one with Casey games here. And Joanna came in here like, look, if you need pointers on how to flirt with a guy, I got this.
Wendy
Well, just like, just like anybody, as soon as Joanna is engaged or like y', all, as soon as you're married, you become the expert on dating and relationships.
Bert
Figured out how to be single the day I got married.
Wendy
Exactly. That's the same thing with Joanna. She got a rock on her hand, she's planning a wedding. So now all of a sudden she's the expert single person.
Bert
I just don't think that Wendy is answering this honestly, though. Like, I, in sitting here, I could tell when Joanna came in here, the look on your first. I brought it up to you like an hour and a half ago saying that, hey, Joanna might be coming in here to give you some pointers. And you could see the look on your face change, man.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
It's not an annoyance. It's just a differences in personality. Joanna used to date a lot. I don't, I don't happen to enjoy dating. I think when you meet somebody.
Bert
So now you're calling her a slut in the backhanded way.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
No, I never said that.
Bert
Here's the whore now.
Laura Ling
No, you're trying to snatch.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Joanna has dated a lot. Whereas when I have relationships, I just. We just know, like, you meet somebody and it just kind of goes from there. Like I was.
Joanna
Hang on, let the skankopotamus talk.
Wendy
Yes.
Cassie
It's just when you're, you know, when
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
you have a skill, you know, you want to share with everybody how great you are at something. I'm good at flirting with men, and that's my claim to fame.
Cassie
So I wanted to share with you
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
that I'm just so.
Wendy
Why are you getting married?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Oh, because I found the one that I want to stay with forever, but before I was married, I was good at or getting married. I'm just good at it now.
Bert
My question for you would be this. Do you think you're going to be able to turn it off even though you get married?
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
It's been turned off.
Bert
No, it hasn't.
Joanna
Oh, no, it hasn't.
Melissa Carter
Yes, it has.
Cassie
Since the engagement since about an hour ago.
Laura Ling
Since.
Wendy (alternate or same as C)
Since I walked in the room, it's been turned off wanting me right now.
Wendy
Turn it off when I come in here.
Joanna
Just so you know, if it was turned off, you wouldn't be doing this. Break from Bert's Lap.
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The Bert Show
Full Show PT 2: Thursday, August 6 [Vault]
Airdate: August 6, 2026
This episode dives into several engaging discussions, headlined by the story of journalist Laura Ling’s harrowing capture and imprisonment in North Korea, as told through clips and live commentary. The episode then swings to lighter but lively segments, including the hosts’ stress over bathing suit season, a fun “morph suit” street challenge, and a spirited round of audience-submitted conspiracy theories. Throughout, the cast balances humor with authentic conversation, inviting listener participation and candid listener calls.
[00:20–13:37, 28:56–29:37]
Story Context: Laura Ling, a journalist, was captured after crossing from China into North Korea while working on a story about the North Korean sex trade for Current TV.
Crossing the Border: Ling recounts how their guide led them across the icy river border without clear demarcations and how quickly things escalated.
“There are no signs saying no trespassing. There's no barbed wire. … We stepped foot in North Korea, and after less than a minute, we said, we need to leave. … I turned around and saw two North Korean soldiers with rifles running towards us.”
— Laura Ling, [01:47–02:25]
Violent Capture: Ling describes the violence she endured when soldiers apprehended her, including being kicked, beaten, and knocked out by the butt of a rifle.
“He kicked me with his boot. He knocked me in the face, in the shoulder. … He raised his rifle, the butt of his rifle. And I looked up, I saw the rifle coming down, and I thought this could be the end for me. … I blacked out.”
— Laura Ling, [03:09–04:23]
Desperate Measures: Early in their captivity, Ling and her colleague frantically destroyed sensitive materials to protect sources.
“We ripped up notes from the notebook, ate them, ripped up videotapes, deleted pictures, and did whatever we could in the little time that we had to destroy the evidence.”
— Laura Ling, [05:26–05:53]
Forced Confession: She details the excruciating choice to “confess” under duress, despite the risk it could mean execution.
“In their mind, I was trying to overthrow the government. … If you confess, there may be forgiveness. And if you don’t … then the worst could happen. … I didn’t know if I was sealing my fate and could be sent out to a firing squad the next day.”
— Laura Ling, [06:16–06:52]
Life as a POW/Guest Call: A caller (retired Air Force pilot, former POW for 11 years) empathizes, offering vivid insight:
“Put a lab rat in a cage and then just stick it in a dryer for 24 hours. But do that every day.”
— Caller John, [07:40–07:50]
“You fall asleep, think you're gonna get some rest, they come in, they wake you up, they beat you around some more, and then now you're just so tired you can't stay awake. They keep you awake.”
— John, [07:52–08:01]
Sentencing and Rescue: Ling was sentenced to 12 years of hard labor:
“Once I heard those words, 12 years come from the judge. I mean, I could barely stand up straight. … No forgiveness, no appeal.”
— Laura Ling, [10:04–10:23]
Bill Clinton’s Intervention: The show details the dramatic diplomatic rescue by former President Bill Clinton:
“I see this bald American with an earpiece, Secret Service agent. … Standing before us was President Clinton … this angelic figure that had come to save us.”
— Laura Ling, [10:52–11:19]
“He said … that's been done. I still have a little bit more work to do, but I hope and I believe that you will be on that plane with us tomorrow.”
— Laura Ling [11:22–11:39]
Ling’s Regret: Laura confessed to blaming herself and even physically punishing herself out of guilt:
“I would go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror and think, who are you? And how did this happen? And I literally would … slap myself because I wanted to punish myself for putting my family through this.”
— Laura Ling, [13:07–13:35]
Listener Reactions: Some listeners call in to debate where the blame lies, with one noting the dangers were possibly foreseeable:
“When you crossed that river from China into North Korea … you may not have known what footstep was gonna lead you into North Korea, but you knew where you were headed to.”
— Caller, [13:50–14:13]
[16:10–19:56]
Background: Because Braves manager Bobby Cox was ejected from a game, show tradition demanded a host dress in a tight “morph suit” and stand on a busy corner with a “Go Braves” sign.
Melissa’s Experience: Melissa Carter describes the oddity and fun of being in a head-to-toe blue Spiderman-style suit, muffled voice and all:
“It's like a big onesie ... This is your perfect costume because nobody knows who you are unless you have a sign that says the bird tail on it.”
— Melissa Carter, [18:18–18:37]
Listener Interactions: Melissa is both cheered and confusingly stared at by commuters. An Atlanta police officer even stops—for a photo, not an arrest.
“Imagine the mug shots in this thing.”
— Melissa Carter, [17:53–17:57]
[20:10–25:06]
Wendy’s Syndrome: Wendy coins “BSS” or “Bathing Suit Season Stress (Syndrome),” expressing anxiety about preparing for a summer trip to Europe.
“I'm just starting to totally stress out about being in a bathing suit, and I'm guessing that other women are feeling the same thing.”
— Wendy, [20:35–21:27]
Weight Loss Hacks: The hosts and callers discuss last-minute, sometimes extreme “slimming” tactics, like wrapping in Saran Wrap overnight.
“If you need to … lose a couple of water weight pounds. … You wrap your whole body in Saran Wrap. … You wake up in sweat and all the water weighs.”
— Joanna & Wendy, [22:08–22:21]
Wedding Dress Stress: A caller commiserates about similar stress before her wedding, leading to jokes about "Wedding Dress Stress Syndrome."
Body Image Real Talk: Listeners and hosts admit to years-long planning for major life events (like weddings) and note the cultural pressure on women compared to men.
“This is such a foreign conversation to me.”
— Bert, [25:30]
“At anytime you have an event as a woman, … that didn't just happen. They planned.”
— Cassie, [24:55]
[28:43–38:12]
Intro to Theories: Bert wonders whether most conspiracy theorists are men and admits to usually taking things at face value.
Highlighted Theories from Listeners:
“You seemed oddly passionate when it got to the buggy part.”
— Joanna, [32:53]
“I believe that they will not find the cure for cancer.”
— Laura, [34:46]
“If you've ever noticed, when you try to eat healthy on a diet, the food always costs so much more expensive than everything else. … It's the government.”
— Cameron, [36:25–36:41]
[40:01–43:12]
Caller Question: A listener asks if Wendy is ever annoyed by producer Joanna’s advice-giving style.
Wendy’s Response: Wendy answers diplomatically, noting personality differences rather than true annoyance.
“I'm not annoyed with Joanna's advice. I just think it's different advice for different people and it works for different people. I think I'm different than Joanna by a long shot.”
— Wendy, [40:40–41:11]
Playful Host Banter: The cast jokes about dating experience vs. expertise, with Joanna (dubbed “Skankopotamus” in jest) defending her approach to flirting and Bert ribbing Wendy for dodging the “real answer.”
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------|---------| | [01:47] | "There are no signs saying no trespassing... We stepped foot in North Korea, and after less than a minute, we said, we need to leave." | Laura Ling | | [04:23] | "The butt of the rifle struck my head and I blacked out." | Laura Ling | | [07:40] | "Put a lab rat in a cage and then just stick it in a dryer for 24 hours. But do that every day." | John (caller, ex-POW) | | [11:19] | "Standing before us was President Clinton and seriously felt like it was this angelic figure that had come to save us." | Laura Ling | | [13:07] | "I would go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror... I literally would... slap myself because I wanted to punish myself for putting my family through this." | Laura Ling | | [18:37] | "It's like a big onesie ... This is your perfect costume because nobody knows who you are unless you have a sign that says the bird tail on it." | Melissa Carter | | [21:27] | "I'm just starting to totally stress out about being in a bathing suit..." | Wendy | | [22:08] | "...You wrap your whole body in Saran Wrap. ... You wake up in sweat and all the water weighs." | Joanna & Wendy | | [32:48] | "Moon buggy. ... If we'd have gone to the moon today, what would people be rollerblading?" | Caller (Moon landing conspiracy) | | [34:46] | "I believe that they will not find the cure for cancer." | Laura (caller, cancer patient) | | [40:40] | "I'm not annoyed with Joanna's advice. I just think it's different advice for different people..." | Wendy |
This episode stands out for its moving recounting of Laura Ling’s North Korean imprisonment—a tale of danger, courage, regret, and an international rescue—delivered not just as news, but with thoughtful reflection from the show’s cast. In true Bert Show style, the heaviness is balanced by lighthearted community challenges, everyday stresses (like "bathing suit season syndrome"), and lively audience participation, particularly during a run of wild, sometimes wacky conspiracy theories. The on-air relationships, listener engagement, and blend of humor and humanity make this episode a rich, engaging listen, even for those unfamiliar with the original broadcast.