The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Thursday, February 12 [Vault]

Date: February 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This segment of The Bert Show is a blend of relationship drama, listener calls, and an interview with actor Steve Carell. The episode showcases the show's signature mix of humor, authenticity, and audience participation, moving from a serious listener dilemma about suspected infidelity to light-hearted banter and a celebrity guest segment.

Key Discussion Segments

1. Listener Dilemma: Catching a Cheating Boyfriend

(Starts ~01:01)

Background

Lucy (on a voice disguiser) calls in with her suspicions that her boyfriend of a year has been using online dating sites to see other women. She details her sleuthing—and her struggle on how to confront him.

Main Points

• Evidence Gathering

  • Lucy discovered her boyfriend’s online dating activity after seeing emails from a service he claimed were just residual from an old account. Her suspicions grew as he became secretive about his “client” dinners.
  • She accessed his dating profile, confirming he set up dates, and read correspondence indicating he arranged to meet at least one woman for drinks, which she knew wasn’t a legitimate work meeting.

    “I just started to get a weird feeling… I just kind of put it all together and searched him and found him, and I couldn't believe it.” – Lucy (02:01)

• Lucy’s Plan

  • She’s contemplating confronting him at one of these dates, possibly walking in and introducing herself to his unsuspecting date, asking her to leave, then confronting him directly.
  • She also feels for the other women, noting they’re unwitting participants.
  • Lucy asks if the show (or listeners) could help her “set him up” for future proof.

• Hosts’ Debate: Entrapment vs. Honesty

  • Jeff and Melissa discourage orchestrating an “entrapment,” noting it could backfire and give the boyfriend a defense (“You set me up!”).

    “If you have anything to do with the next girl to date him… that's gonna be his argument back.” – Jeff (08:23)

  • Melissa points out Lucy already has enough proof and the best course is to simply break up.

    “You’ve already busted him. Like, you have the knowledge, right? And then if you don’t want to tolerate this, then you just walk away from this.” – Melissa (09:28)

  • Callers and hosts note Lucy might still be hoping for reconciliation, which could explain her elaborate maneuvering.

• Listener Relates

  • Jesse calls in to share a similar story: making a fake MySpace profile to catch her ex in the act.

    “I created a fake profile…contacted him…said, ‘Hey, we’re in the same area,’…we ended up setting a date…and when he got there…he was very shocked to find me.” – Jesse (11:13)

• Hosts’ Mixed Sympathy

  • Some hosts sympathize; others get frustrated, feeling Lucy is prolonging her pain and, perhaps subconsciously, giving herself an excuse to forgive him.

Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “In the end, you just want him to feel…like you did somehow. You want him to feel the same emotions you and he never…he won’t.” – Melissa (13:47)
• “There’s a good, large number of women that handle it the same way you’re doing it. And the soap opera is good, but to help you…I don’t think that’s right.” – Bert (14:08)

2. Celebrity Interview: Steve Carell

(Starts ~15:35)

Introduction

Steve Carell joins for a fun and candid chat, marked by Bert’s lighthearted style and the group’s rapid-fire questions.

Main Points

• Carell’s Almost-Radio Career

  • He reveals he once auditioned for a radio newsreader job for a tiny station that only broadcast within a tunnel at Logan Airport in Boston.

    “One up in the Green Mountains in New Hampshire…only broadcast into the tunnel leading to Logan Airport…so people could hear it for all of about 45 seconds.” – Steve Carell (16:01)

• Early Work Experience

  • Carell was a rural mail carrier in Massachusetts, using his own car—dangerously, by driving left-hand drive and delivering out the right window.

    “We had to drive with one hand and deliver the mail out the right window. So it was incredibly dangerous.” – Steve Carell (17:00)

  • He moved to Chicago, later still finding undelivered mail in his car.

    “For months I was still finding mail that was stuck under my…” – Steve Carell (18:18)

• Paparazzi & TMZ Story

  • Bert asks about a past TMZ moment where Carell refused to talk, wanting closure on why.
    • Carell explains he simply doesn’t like TMZ’s agenda and prefers staying out of the Hollywood scene.

    “They’re like the bullies in school. They just try to make people look stupid.” – Steve Carell (20:27)

  • Carell describes himself as a homebody and thinks people who show up regularly on TMZ probably seek attention.

• Family Life

  • The most exciting thing in his week? His kids behaved on a cross-country flight.

    “They were really good on the plane. That was exciting.” – Steve Carell (21:43)

• ‘Get Smart’ Movie Promotion

  • The conversation finishes with Carell describing his role as Maxwell Smart, an analyst-turned-spy in an “origin story” for the movie.

    “It’s sort of a comedic Bourne Identity.” – Steve Carell (22:27)

  • He jokes about Anne Hathaway (his co-star):

    “She’s very ugly.” – Steve Carell, tongue-in-cheek (22:46)

Fun Closing

Steve lingers on the line after the formal goodbyes, leading to a few awkward, funny moments as the hosts realize he’s still there—a nice, classic radio goof.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:01 – Lucy joins to discuss her boyfriend's suspected cheating
• 02:01–05:39 – Lucy details her evidence and plans for confrontation
• 07:39 – Lucy asks for help to “set up” her boyfriend
• 11:12 – Jesse’s story about catching her ex with a fake profile
• 13:06–14:08 – Final advice and ethical debate on entrapment vs. moving on
• 15:35 – Steve Carell interview begins
• 16:01–16:38 – Carell’s failed radio auditions
• 17:44–18:26 – Carell as a rural mail carrier
• 19:29–20:46 – TMZ story and dislike of celebrity gossip media
• 21:43 – Carell’s “exciting family moment” of the week
• 22:22–22:56 – ‘Get Smart’ promotion and banter
• 23:20–23:55 – Accidental, awkward outro as Steve Carell is still on the line

Notable Quotes

• Lucy: “Just meeting one person for drinks is out of bounds for our relationship. We’re in our 30s and…done with the games, but I don’t think that’s the case.” (04:17)
• Melissa: “You’ve already busted him. Like, you have the knowledge, right?…then you just walk away…” (09:28)
• Steve Carell: “We had to drive with one hand and deliver the mail out the right window. So it was incredibly dangerous.” (17:00)
• Steve Carell: “They’re like the bullies in school. They just try to make people look stupid.” (20:27)
• Steve Carell: “It’s sort of a comedic Bourne Identity.” (22:27)
• Steve Carell (joking about Anne Hathaway): “She’s very ugly.” (22:46)

Tone & Style

• The conversation on relationships is candid, empathetic, but at times exasperated—reflecting both the hosts' playful banter and genuine concern for Lucy.
• The Steve Carell segment is warm and personable, mixing curiosity about his career with playful, inside-radio goofs.

Summary

This episode typifies The Bert Show’s approach: real-life dilemmas play out with humor, strong opinions, and listener engagement—followed by celebrity interviews that are as much about personal quirks as promotion. From betrayals and breakups to sitcom stars unable to leave a radio line, the morning show gives listeners a relatable escape from their own routines.