The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Thursday, February 26 [Vault]

Date: February 26, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Team, Intern Zane
Episode Theme: Real-life drama, relationships, and entertaining, relatable stories from The Bert Show team and its listeners — with the usual dose of humor, candor, and listener engagement.

Episode Overview

This episode dives into several avenues of relationship drama and candid conversations about awkward boundaries, sexual satisfaction, and the concept of "cheating" on your significant other — not just with people, but with things and obsessions. A highlight is the emotional saga shared by intern Zane and the show’s spirited (and often hilarious) advice on relationships and communication.

1. Drama with Intern Zane: "My Brother’s Ex Invited Me to be in Her Wedding"

[01:36 – 13:59]

Key Storyline:

• Intern Zane reveals he's been asked to be an usher in the wedding of his brother's ex-girlfriend, Whitney — the same woman who kissed another guy (now her fiancé) while still dating Zane’s brother, Zach. Zane grapples with whether to go, knowing it’ll likely hurt his brother, who was deeply affected by the breakup.
• The story unfolds live, with the hosts urging Zane to be honest with his brother or at least with their mother. They attempt to call both, to no avail.

Discussion Points & Memorable Moments:

• Zane explains the complicated situation:

  “She actually had a little bit too much to drink at a party and actually made out with another guy, who is her fiancé right now.” — Intern Zane [03:29]

• Zane’s reluctance to tell his brother and parents about accepting the invitation.

  “He was shocked at first. He’s like, I can’t believe she’d ask my own brother to be in her wedding with the guy she cheated on me with.” — Intern Zane [06:04]

• Hosts put Zane on the spot, teasing and grilling him on whether he's in love with Whitney himself.

  “You are in love with her.” — Co-host [08:18]
  “No, not at all.” — Intern Zane [08:26]

• Hilarity ensues during failed attempts to reach Zane’s mother and brother, with the hosts mock-dramatizing family dynamics.

  “His mom’s with… wedding days are just a little…” — Host [08:58] “My mom actually lives in Bermuda.” — Intern Zane [11:13]

• The team debates whether it's “cheating” if it’s just a kiss, with Zane confessing he doesn’t consider kissing cheating, drawing mock consternation from the hosts.

  "That might be why you don't have a girlfriend right now." — Co-host [08:43]

Takeaway:

• Navigating family and friend boundaries after breakups is complex and ripe for drama — and sometimes the best advice is simply to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.

2. Listener Dilemma: "How to Ask Your Partner to Be Better in Bed"

[17:01 – 27:49]

Key Storyline:

• A listener seeks advice: Her boyfriend is satisfied every time, but she never is—how can she raise the issue about his lack of sexual stamina without crushing his ego?

Discussion Points & Memorable Moments:

• The hosts acknowledge the sensitivity due to male ego:

  "With guys, it's all about ego. We all think we're the best." — Host [17:54]

• Panelists debate whether sexual skill can truly be taught or if chemistry is innate.

  “You either have sexual chemistry or you don’t. It's gotta be hard to change somebody.” — Co-host [18:25] “Most people get better with proper instruction and practice. So is sex one of those things?” — Host [18:55]

• Caller #1 (Annie) gives practical, positive guidance, sharing how she taught her boyfriend in the moment:

  “I really like this and this feels really good… I gave him lots of encouragement and everything, but then really just did, like, an instruction.” — Annie [21:19]

• The hosts agree on being encouraging vs. critical, suggesting women express what they DO like as a pathway for improvement.

  “What will work for another woman is what she said about encouragement, being positive rather than critical.” — Co-host [22:35]

• Male caller Colin chimes in with advice emphasizing the importance of foreplay.

  “If you're not getting to that point from just the intercourse, try to push the foreplay more… the warm up is more important for women than it is for men.” — Colin [23:31] “As a woman, if the guy is doing something right, make him note. You don't have to say it, but you can make noises, you can shift your body, you can, you know, moan.” — Colin [23:52] “Sometimes if you scream out ‘Olay’…” — Co-host [24:06] (laughter)

• Tips for gentle communication (during intimacy), creative products for stamina (numbing lubricants), and the importance of "player coaching" during, not just after, are discussed humorously.

Takeaway:

• The team and callers advocate open communication and encouragement during intimacy. Both men and women need honest feedback — delivered with kindness, humor and positivity — for better satisfaction.

3. "Cheating" on Your Partner…with Things, Not People

[29:32 – 37:23]

Key Storyline:

• The hosts ask listeners whether they've ever been "unfaithful" — not with another human, but with things like food, pets, phones, video games, etc.

Discussion Points & Memorable Moments:

• The term “non-sexual cheating” is coined, and funny examples abound:

  “I totally cheated on my family with the PSP.” — Host [31:38] “35% of people would choose their BlackBerry over their spouse.” — Co-host [32:01]

• Brittany: Husband obsessed with video games, to the point it’s caused relationship strife.

  “Oh, I've almost left him several times because of it.” — Brittany [32:45]

• Candace: “Cheating” on her husband with Edward Cullen from Twilight (books/films).

  “I talk about it all the time. And there's a movie coming out in November...” — Candace [33:47]

• John: Secret cigarette smoker, keeps it from his wife for two years via breath mints and cologne.

  “I told her I quit a couple of years ago. And I only smoke when I'm at work…” — John [34:28]

• Courtney: Obsession with sushi eclipses boyfriend.

  “I get it at least twice a week, three times a week… I'm obsessed with it.” — Courtney [35:08]

• Tracy: Her Chihuahua is a “rival” for attention; her husband is jealous of the dog.

  “My husband is really jealous of him now. So your husband is jealous of your dog.” — Tracy [36:33]

• The team discusses hiding chocolate, secret naps, and the recurring theme: the BlackBerry as a common "other partner."

Takeaway:

• Many people have "hidden relationships" with obsessions and habits — and these can be just as damaging (or funny) as actual infidelity, depending on how they're handled in relationships.

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “So Whitney called me, and he knows me and Whitney are close, so he… was shocked at first. He's like, I can't believe she’d ask my own brother to be in her wedding with the guy she cheated on me with.” — Intern Zane [06:04]
• "That might be why you don't have a girlfriend right now." — Co-host [08:43]
• “With guys, it’s all about ego. We all think we’re the best.” — Host [17:54]
• “You are in love with her.” — Co-host [08:18]
• “I totally cheated on my family with the PSP.” — Host [31:38]
• “My Chihuahua will jump out of the bed… and my husband is really jealous of him now. So your husband is jealous of your dog.” — Tracy [36:33]

Episode Structure and Timestamps

| Segment Title | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------|-------------------| | Intern Zane’s Family Wedding Dilemma | 01:36 – 13:59 | | How to Give Your Partner Sexual Feedback | 17:01 – 27:49 | | Are You ‘Cheating’ with Something (not someone)? | 29:32 – 37:23 |

Summary/Insights

This episode is classic Bert Show: blending real dilemmas, frank talk, and laughter. The main takeaways include the importance of honest communication—whether it’s family loyalty, sexual satisfaction, or acknowledging life’s weird obsessions. Zane’s saga is a reminder that sometimes the messiest situations are the most human. And, as always, the audience contributions add both humor and relatability.

Useful for new listeners:
Even if you haven’t heard the episode, you’ll walk away with a clear picture of the funny, real, and heartfelt dynamic that makes The Bert Show a morning staple. Their willingness to share real-life drama, tackle awkward topics, and laugh at themselves keeps things lively, empathetic, and always entertaining.