Full Show PT 2: Thursday, February 5 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Thursday, February 5 [Vault]

Air Date: February 5, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Summary By: Podcast Summarizer AI

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into authentic, lively conversations about relationship dynamics—specifically, the weight of saying "I love you"—and everyday social quirks like dodging phone calls and "drunk call of duty" experiences. The hosts and callers keep the tone real and humorous, tackling vulnerabilities and pet peeves while blending personal anecdotes and audience participation for a relatable morning listen.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. The "I Love You" Dilemma in Relationships

Timestamps: 00:00–12:07

Context & Core Issue

• Megan calls in to discuss her boyfriend's reluctance to say "I love you" after a year together.
• The panel and callers explore whether the "I love you" milestone is essential for validating love, or if actions speak louder than words.

Key Discussion Threads

• Why Some People Don't Say "I Love You" Early

  • Megan’s boyfriend feels the phrase is cheapened by overuse or dishonesty and won’t say it unless he fully means it—potentially never.
  • Megan:

    "[He says,] I'm crazy about you... not afraid of spending forever with you... but I hate the word. I hate saying it... it's so cheapened by guys that don't really mean it." (01:09)

  • Host:

    "That premise I can buy into." (01:41)

• Relationship History & Emotional Baggage

  • Callers and hosts consider whether family backgrounds or previous relationships (like coming from a divorced family) might contribute.

• Timing & Honesty

  • Some callers share stories of long waits for first "I love you" in relationships, emphasizing that genuine feelings outweigh set timelines.
  • Jessica:

    "So do you feel insecure that he doesn't love you unless you hear it?" (04:45)

  • Megan:

    "No... it's nice to hear... why shouldn't I hear it? Because of all these other guys..." (04:51)

• Differences in Relationship Progress

  • Some partners wait until they are truly ready; others express frustration about unmet expectations.
  • Diane:

    "I don't think he loves you." (05:06)
    The group debates whether this is harsh realism or unnecessary pessimism.

• Reader/Listener Input

  • Several callers recount their own long journeys toward saying (or hearing) "I love you," affirming patience, or questioning if Megan should simply state her feelings unconditionally.
  • Annie:

    "If she loves him, then yeah [she should tell him]... So you say he doesn't say it back—big deal. He'll say it to you when he's ready." (11:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Diane (sarcastically, about Megan's boyfriend):

  "It was a month and a day before you took your pants off then. Cause, I mean, that is such a move. Well done, my friend. Your husband is my hero." (03:50)

• Host:

  "Like, normally you would know within a year if you're in love with somebody." (05:19)

• Annie:

  “You are annoying me. He's gonna say it when he's ready, and you're complaining about this. I feel like you complain about everything.” (10:36)

2. "Drunk Call of Duty" Stories

Timestamps: 12:13–18:56

Segment Theme

• Listeners and hosts share humorous and awkward moments when they were unexpectedly called to duty (hospital visits, emergencies, meeting parents) while drunk or buzzed.

Key Stories & Highlights

• Wrong Hospital Room:
  • Jeff shares about a friend who, tipsy from wine, accidentally comforts the wrong elderly woman in a hospital.

    “And then all of a sudden, she. The woman turned to her and said, 'Well, thank you so much. Those flowers are beautiful.' And it was not her grandmother." (13:28)

• Unexpected Family Meetings:
  • Host and caller stories about meeting significant others' parents while drunk, and how honesty breaks the ice.
• Appendicitis Fiasco:
  • Annie recalls a family member with appendicitis who couldn’t get a sober ride due to everyone partying.
  • Annie:

    "She had to wait until the next morning for somebody to sober up to take her to the hospital... to this day I feel like a really bad, bad person." (18:18)

• Police Call Gone Wrong:
  • Diane shares a story about being arrested for DUI while trying to pick up her drunk husband from the police.
  • Diane:

    "The police called me and told me if I didn't come get my husband right away, they were going to arrest him for DUI. And on the way home, I got arrested for DUI." (18:35)

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3. Dodging Phone Calls & Social Communication Tricks

Timestamps: 18:58–26:52

Segment Theme

• The cast and listeners humorously vent about the social etiquette (and avoidance mechanisms) of phone communications in the era of texting and endless chats.

Key Insights & Hacks

• Long-Talker Avoidance:
  • The group jokes about friends who keep conversations going, ignoring polite cues that a call should end.
  • Host:

    "That's one of my pet peeves when somebody says to me, 'Okay, I'll let you go.' You're not letting me go. You want to go." (20:42)

• Dodging Techniques:
  • Faking bad connections, hoping for voicemail, using texting to communicate instead, and even elaborate two-phone tricks to force calls to voicemail.
  • Diane:

    "You make the initial call on your cell phone... put your cell phone on mute and dial the same number from a landline. The second one goes right to voicemail." (24:24)

• Caller Confessions:
  • Admitting to ignoring certain friends’ calls due to guilt-tripping or anticipated long conversations.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Jessica:

  “If you realize you’re one of those people that gives guilt trips, just know that... we are hitting ignore.” (23:53)

• Host:

  “Even if it’s my mom, right? ...You’re about fourth on the depth chart, I gotta tell you.” (24:10)

• Diane:

  “We are turning into a society where conversations are going to be obsolete eventually...” (26:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments Summary

• On the meaning of “I love you”:
  • Megan: "He says all the time, you know, I'm crazy about you. And I don't... I'm not afraid of spending forever with you." (00:52)
  • Host: "That premise I can buy into." (01:41)
• On call dodging:
  • Diane: "You make the initial call on your cell phone...put your cell phone on mute and dial the same number from a landline... the second one goes right to voicemail." (24:24)
• On the unavoidable need for honesty:
  • Host: "I came clean right off the bat and said, let's not do this right now. I am so drunk." (16:43)

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Episode Flow & Takeaways

• Relationship Talk:
  The show authentically explores a common relationship anxiety—needing to hear "I love you"—balancing vulnerability, pragmatism, and humor as hosts and callers share varying perspectives.

• Humor in Awkwardness:
  The "drunk call of duty" segment stands out for blending relatable embarrassment with empathy, keeping levity in heavy moments.

• Modern Communication Riffs:
  The cast wraps up by venting (and laughing) about dodging unwanted calls—a topic that unites listeners, poking fun at ourselves and the strange etiquette of modern connection.

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Useful for Listeners Who Missed the Show

Whether you’re pondering your own “I love you” dilemma, want a laugh at others’ awkward emergencies, or just need validation for ignoring those long-winded calls, this episode serves authentic talk, humor, and clever life hacks from The Bert Show’s real, unfiltered crew.

Transcript

[Host]

The Bird Show. Hey, Megan.

[Megan]

Hello.

[Host]

Good morning. How are you?

[Megan]

Good.

[Host]

Now, we've done this before. It was in the past where we've talked about guys. It's just the words can't come out of their mouth for whatever reason. The I love you.

[Caller Jessica]

Yeah. And you've been with your boyfriend for how long?

[Megan]

A little over a year.

[Caller Jessica]

Over a year. Okay. And you feel like you are definitely in love with him.

[Megan]

Yes, definitely. And you've told him no, Because I don't want to say it if he's not gonna say it and bring up the whole awkward situation.

[Caller Diane]

How do you know he's not gonna say it then?

[Megan]

Cause he's already told me he's not gonna say it.

[Caller Diane]

He's told you?

[Caller Jeff]

Yeah. How did that come up? Because I know that usually in a relationship before the official I love you is always the little. I guess I'm gonna tell you.

[Host]

If you say this to me, will you say.

[Caller Jeff]

If I said. Yeah, if I said I love you.

[Megan]

Kinda like, he's my best friend, too, so we talk all the time, and we were just talking in general about things like that. And he says all the time, you know, I'm crazy about you. And I don't. You know, I don't. I'm not afraid of spending forever with you.

[Caller Diane]

No.

[Megan]

You know, we were talking about love and just that kind of stuff. And he said, well, I hate the word. I hate saying it. I hate it. I hate it as a nickname because it's. It's so cheapened by guys that don't really mean it and girls that just think they have to say it because they're in a relationship and I don't want to say it and come across as the same kind of a guy that says, I love you, I love you, and then goes and cheats on you. He said he won't say it unless he really means it.

[Host]

That premise I can buy into. How old is this guy, though?

[Megan]

23.

[Host]

23.

[Caller Jeff]

23. Do you mind if I ask if he is from a divorced family?

[Megan]

No, he's not.

[Caller Jeff]

Okay. The only reason I say that is because there's times where we've talked to listeners who felt like they, you know, they saw their parents divorce and there's, you know, an association with the I love you from that, so.

[Host]

And you're afraid that if you say it first, then he's not going to say it, then things are really going to be awkward.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Caller Jessica]

How long ago did he tell you he wasn't going to say it?

[Megan]

Probably about five or Six months ago.

[Host]

So he. Did he say that? When I say those words to you, you're. You're going to know that I really mean it, or did he say, don't ever expect those words to come out of my mouth.

[Megan]

He said, when he says them, I can know that he really, without a doubt, means it in a forever kind of way.

[Host]

I got no beef with this guy.

[Caller Diane]

There's nothing wrong with that.

[Host]

I got zero beef with this guy.

[Caller Diane]

What's your issue then?

[Megan]

No, my issue isn't so much with that guy. It's just with him. I mean, obviously, if I had a huge issue with it, we wouldn't still be going out. It's. It's more an issue with guys. Like, the topic came up because of the guy that called who was talking about how he maybe got his best friend, his girlfriend's best friend pregnant and says, oh, I love my girlfriend. And it's like, it frustrates me every time I hear that to no end. Because it's guys like him that are the reason that my perfectly healthy relationship won't say the word.

[Host]

I think that's completely legit. Completely. Jessica, go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Caller Annie]

Hi. My husband, when he dated his last girlfriend before me, was with her for three years and never told her that he loved her. And he explained it to me, like, because I didn't, so I wasn't going to say it when I didn't feel it.

[Megan]

And.

[Caller Annie]

And after we were together for a month, he told me, and he was, you know, just have to be the right person.

[Caller Diane]

God, you got so played. Seriously.

[Host]

What do you mean?

[Caller Jeff]

That doesn't make any money.

[Caller Diane]

He would never tell his girlfriend that. He never said that.

[Host]

That's what he said.

[Caller Annie]

She would say it to him and he wouldn't say it back.

[Caller Diane]

It was a month and a day before you took your pants off then. Cause, I mean, that is such a move. Well done, my friend. Your husband is my hero.

[Caller Jeff]

But I'm also thinking, if her telling this. You're telling Megan, like, oh, well, he's not telling you because he really doesn't love you, but the next girl he's with, it'll only take a month.

[Host]

Well, she's being honest here. So, Jessica, what you're saying to me is that this guy's being so honest with you that he really doesn't feel it yet.

[Caller Annie]

Exactly. And he's not gonna say it when he feels it. And that way, when you. Like you were saying before, when he does say it, then you know that it's true. He's not gonna say it just because you wanna hear it.

[Host]

Now, that's harsh to hear there, Megan, but that might be completely true. He may not be fully in love with you yet, even though you guys have been dating for a year. Does it take. I mean, some people are gonna call up and go, look, you're gonna know in a year.

[Megan]

He acts that way all the time. I mean, I think I know without it being said. He's always saying it in not quite so many words or, like, proving it by the way that he'll act and the way that he'll treat me. I mean.

[Caller Jessica]

So do you feel insecure that he doesn't love you unless you hear it?

[Megan]

No, it's not really that. It's just, you know, it's nice to hear. It's like, why shouldn't I hear it? Because of all these other guys that are church.

[Host]

Well, I think because he's holding it to a different standard. I think the guy's being great about it.

[Caller Diane]

I don't think he loves you.

[Host]

You might be right. I mean, you're being kind of funny and kind of harsh. He might not feel that yet.

[Caller Jeff]

I mean, I'm. I am concerned about the time. I mean, I get about, oh, he's being honorable. And he doesn't want to say it, but they've been together over a year.

[Host]

Yeah. Like, normally you would know within a year if you're in love with somebody.

[Caller Jeff]

Six months, I'd be like, well.

[Megan]

But, like, we started out as being just the best friends. I was in a relationship with a really abusive guy, and we had been together for two and a half or three years. So at first I think it was because he knew that I wasn't ready to hear it. And now it's just like. I don't know. I mean, I can tell that he does just by how he treats me. He doesn't treat anybody I know, much less, especially not any females the same way.

[Host]

Hey, Michael. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Caller Nate]

Yeah. All I was gonna say was. I mean, I heard her mention it already, but, I mean, it depends on how his actions are around you. You say he's a real good friend of yours and stuff. Then how does he treat you out and about when you're in public than when you're by yourself?

[Host]

Yeah. Do you feel loved by this guy?

[Megan]

I really. I mean, I definitely do. He tells me all the time he's crazy about me. He shows it to me.

[Caller Diane]

He.

[Megan]

He protects me. He lets other people know, hey, you know, I don't want you to look at her that way because she's not going out with you. She's going out with me.

[Host]

Andrea, you got some advice for Megan? Andrea, go ahead.

[Caller Annie]

I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell her. I actually live in a similar situation. My boyfriend, mainly because of the one time that he was in love with, but I told him I loved him three months before he told me. And usually, like, I would tell him and he'd say, aw, thank you. And it was really awkward. But the one day that he finally told me, it made it so worth it.

[Caller Jessica]

So you say that she should just say how she feels. Regardless of what the response is gonna be.

[Host]

She's already gone.

[Caller Jessica]

I think that's what she did. Would you be comfortable doing that, Megan?

[Megan]

Ooh, I don't know.

[Caller Jessica]

I mean, just telling him that you're in love with him, even if the.

[Host]

Response is that I might freak him.

[Caller Jessica]

Out, he might say thank you.

[Megan]

It might just be really weird. Like, I don't want it to be pushy or anything like that.

[Caller Jessica]

But if you're saying it, I tell.

[Megan]

Him that I'm crazy about him a little bit.

[Caller Jessica]

But if you're saying it because you feel it and you truly are not expecting a response, then it doesn't have to be awkward.

[Host]

Hey, Tyler. You've been in the same situation?

[Caller Annie]

Well, sort of. I dated a guy for three years, and it took him. Took us over a year to see say I love you. And even after that, we wouldn't say I love you every day. When you get off the phone. It wasn't, oh, I love you, goodbye, because he wanted to say it when he was truly feeling. Not that he didn't feel it every day, but he just didn't want to throw the word around lightly. Every guy.

[Caller Diane]

That is such bs, Ladies.

[Caller Jeff]

It sounds like an expanded.

[Caller Diane]

Though I understand it at the beginning. At the beginning of the relationship, if the guy doesn't want to say it right away, you Heisman Stacy, right when she first said it to you, you were like, I'm not ready for it right now. And you kept with, that is admirable and respectable. Right? But now when you're. When you get a couple years into it too much and they're still not saying it, or he's like, I'm not gonna say it every day because I.

[Caller Annie]

Don'T want to just throw it around whatever end up. I mean, that was not the demise of the relationship. But, you know, that did end up being an issue. Saying you Know, I do want to say that more.

[Caller Diane]

You know, There you go.

[Host]

Others are calling and saying that it took their husbands or boyfriends way longer than that even. Hey, Tracy, you're on Q100.

[Caller Annie]

Hey, how are you?

[Host]

Good, thank you.

[Caller Annie]

I just wanted to let her know that my husband. I'm currently married right now. I've been married for seven years, to not give up. He actually said the same thing. He didn't. He would never get married again. And he would never say he loved it unless he meant it. And he actually told me about a year and a half into our relationship that he loved me. And we've been married for seven years. So.

[Host]

Year and a half.

[Caller Jessica]

Did you say it first?

[Caller Annie]

He said it first.

[Caller Jessica]

So you waited a year and a half because you wouldn't go there first.

[Caller Annie]

Right.

[Host]

And how long into dating him did you know that you were in love with him?

[Caller Annie]

Probably about six months.

[Megan]

Six months?

[Caller Annie]

Maybe. I just held out. We had both come from a bad divorce, so we were both divorced. But, yeah, we're happily married for seven years now. So don't give up.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller Jeff]

Good for you.

[Caller Jessica]

All right.

[Host]

Jeff, you missed a segment on. On Friday. We had Ask Annie on.

[Caller Jeff]

Yeah.

[Host]

Boy, did she keep it real.

[Caller Diane]

She's good.

[Host]

Uncomfortably real. Yes.

[Caller Diane]

We were kids talking to her.

[Host]

Yes. She was talking about very adult material.

[Caller Diane]

What's she talking about?

[Host]

Lewinsky's.

[Caller Diane]

Shut up.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Caller Jeff]

No.

[Caller Diane]

Get out of here.

[Host]

Yeah. It was shock. I was silent. I had no response.

[Caller Jessica]

She said they were so gross that she never planned to do that even when she got married, because that's gross.

[Caller Jeff]

Really?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Caller Diane]

Good for her. And her parents definitely bought her a drink this weekend.

[Caller Jessica]

She's 13.

[Host]

Patron all the way around for the 13th birthday.

[Caller Jessica]

Isn't today her birthday?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Caller Jessica]

Happy birthday, Annie.

[Host]

She's back.

[Caller Annie]

Oh, thank you.

[Host]

Hey, how are you?

[Caller Annie]

Good.

[Host]

All right, you've got some tough love advice here for Megan.

[Caller Annie]

Oh, of course.

[Host]

Okay, go ahead.

[Caller Annie]

You are annoying me. He's gonna say it when he's ready, and you're complaining about this. I feel like he complained about everything. Cause he's gonna say when he's ready, and you're complaining like that's.

[Megan]

Stop. I felt like you're judging me pretty quickly there to say. I complained about absolutely everything. I was more complaining about other men than him.

[Caller Annie]

Okay, well, this is him, not other men.

[Caller Jessica]

Annie, do you think that she should tell him that she loves him?

[Caller Annie]

Well, if she loves him, then yeah. Like, really have some guts here. Like. Okay, so you say he doesn't say it back Big deal. He'll say it to you when he's ready.

[Caller Jessica]

And how should she find out if he really loves her or not? Like, if he doesn't say it for another six months?

[Caller Annie]

Well, when he says it, it's not like you have to be sneaky and find out if he loves you or not. He either loves you or he doesn't. Obviously, he doesn't love you fully right now, so he's not gonna say it.

[Host]

But he is showing her that he loves her, but he's just not saying it. You say that's okay so long as he's showing it.

[Caller Annie]

Well, really, like, is he really showing it that he loves her or just that he's beginning to love her? Like, really?

[Caller Diane]

Maybe Megan should show up by doing some of those things that Annie would never do.

[Caller Annie]

Yeah, how about not. Happy birthday, Annie.

[Host]

Thirteen years old today, which.

[Caller Diane]

Today or 30th.

[Host]

It's just like one of those Dominican Republic baseball players that say that they're 16, but they're really 32.

[Caller Jeff]

Right.

[Host]

All right, Megan, hopefully you have something there to chew on.

[Caller Annie]

Yeah.

[Megan]

Okay.

[Host]

Okay. The bird show.

[Caller Jeff]

So one of Katie's friends told the story that cracked me up to where she was home with a bottle of wine. No big deal. You know, after work, just winding down and had a few glasses. Feeling pretty good. Feeling even better. Feeling even better. Just gonna watch a movie or something, go to bed. Well, then she got a phone call from her family that her grandmother was in the hospital.

[Host]

Oh, damn.

[Caller Jeff]

And so they're like, you need to get to the hospital. And she's like, oh, my God. So she got off the phone, and she was not gonna be irresponsible. And Dr. She had called her boyfriend to come. Can you please come pick me up, you know, on your way home? And can you just take me to the hospital and drop me off? No big deal. She said, I'm gonna play this off. I'm gonna be cool. Probably did the whole mouthwash thing and everything. But you know what? She was. She was drunk at the time. So her boyfriend comes, picks her up, takes her to the hospital. So she talked about how, you know what? But she's fine. She concentrated. She's walking in the hall. Everything's good. Wasn't quite sure where her grandmother is, but kind of, you know, kind of knew what floor she was on, so went in there, and then she went into her grandmother's hospital room, and it was dark because I guess she had already kind of was trying to bed by that point, because she's Older. Right. So my friend goes over there and she sits down. She decides she's just going to start talking to her and comfort her. And she brought her flowers, by the way. They stopped, and, you know, the boyfriend got flowers. So she has flowers on the side, and she's patting her on the hand, and she's leaning over and she's talking to her and giving her some encouragement. And then all of a sudden, she. The woman turned to her and said, well, thank you so much. Those flowers are beautiful. And it was not her grandmother.

[Host]

So she was that drunk.

[Caller Jessica]

Oh, no.

[Caller Jeff]

She was so drunk that she went into the wrong hospital, uncomfortably. And it got to point where I think that she left the door open, and I think that her mother heard her and was down the hall calling her name. Wrong room.

[Host]

I love the concept of the drunk accidental call to duty. So, like, I can imagine this being really big for parents, too, because when the kids are out of the house, like, let's say they're staying with the grandparents, Right. You've got the run of the home all to yourself. Right. So you and the husband or you and the wife, you're gonna get your drink on pretty good, or you're gonna go out with some friends and. And you go to tie it on. But then something might happen to the kids where they end up in the emergency room, and you've been drinking for four hours now, so you had to do the drunk call of duty and go to the hospital. This could happen in a hundred different scenarios.

[Caller Jeff]

Absolutely. And nobody's at fault. It's not your fault for being drunk. You never expect to have to do anything with it. Right.

[Host]

You thought your night was clear.

[Caller Jeff]

Yes.

[Host]

You thought your night was clear. So you're gonna go, I don't have anything else to do, so I'm gonna get my buzz on. And then something happens to where you end up in this situation where you have to act like a sober person.

[Caller Jeff]

Abso. So my friend left the flowers. I mean, she went and went to.

[Caller Jessica]

Her grandmother's room, but she can't just take them away.

[Caller Jeff]

She gave the flowers, you know. But, yeah, talk to the wrong woman.

[Caller Jessica]

That is too fun.

[Caller Diane]

We're gonna get scary calls from, like, medical professionals.

[Host]

Yeah, that would be. Sure. I mean, we could put you on the voice disguiser for these also, like, if. Well, doctors, I think, are pretty good about this. Like, if you're on duty. Like, I know in my case, I'm.

[Caller Diane]

Not talking about on duty.

[Host]

I'm talking about on call. I mean. Yeah.

[Caller Diane]

Like, what if you're in a restaurant and you get. Is there a doctor? Like, the chef just sliced off his finger and you've been at the bar drinking wine for three hours and your wife or husband goes, she's a doctor. And you're sloshed.

[Host]

You're the only one there.

[Caller Diane]

Yup.

[Host]

Called into drunk. Call of Duty.

[Caller Diane]

Gotta do it.

[Host]

Good morning, Q100.

[Caller Nate]

Hey, what's going on?

[Caller Jeff]

Hey.

[Caller Nate]

It was one of those things. I had to do it because it was my girlfriend. It was. Her sister had a stroke, and her sister is one of those freak things. Her sister's only 18 and she had a stroke. And I actually had to go up to Knoxville and what I was doing was at Buffalo Wild Wings with a couple of my buddies having a couple drinks, and I got the call at, like, 11 o' clock at night. So I hopped in the car and made the drive all the way up to Knoxville.

[Host]

Oh, geez.

[Caller Nate]

Yeah. After like, four doubles, I was. It was stupid, but I had to do it. No one else would drive me in Knoxville.

[Host]

Oh, wow. That's way better.

[Caller Nate]

And then after that, I had to meet her. Her parents that night. And that was the first time I met her parents. And I was pretty.

[Host]

Now, that did happen with me and Stacy's dad, too. First time I ever met him, I was totally hammered, really.

[Caller Jeff]

Did you know that you were gonna meet him, though?

[Host]

No, I didn't. He was visiting her, and I was with a guy. I think I was at a bachelor party, actually.

[Caller Jeff]

Mm.

[Host]

And he was supposed to be long gone by the time I showed up and I got there. I guess it was probably, I don't know, 12, 1 o', clock, and he was just leaving her apartment. And I was coming in as he was going out, and he stopped me and he said, hi, I think Stacy was with him. And I said, I'm not even gonna try to do this right now.

[Caller Jeff]

I'm hammered. Oh, my God.

[Host]

I came clean right off the bat and said, let's not do this right now. I am so drunk. And he was actually really cool with it, because if you knew him the way I did do, you would know that's a great way to start the relationship. Really inebriated and honest.

[Caller Jeff]

Right.

[Host]

It was a perfect way to start our relationship. Good morning, Q100. Good morning.

[Caller Jeff]

Hey, good morning.

[Host]

Good morning.

[Caller Annie]

How are you? Good, good. I have a funny drunk called to order story.

[Caller Diane]

Okay.

[Caller Annie]

Okay. There's about 50 or 75 of us, and we're partying on Jekyll island about two years ago, and I Mean, heavy partying. Well, my cell phone rang and it was my cousin who was not at the party. And we were all trying to figure out why she wasn't at the party anyway. And come to find out. Okay. I answered my cell phone and she says, I'm really in a lot of pain and I need someone to come take me to the hospital. So I looked around, I'm like, okay, is anybody sober? And nobody was. But they got me over to where she was staying, and I was so drunk, and she's laying on the couch, she's just really sick. Turns out she had an appendicitis.

[Caller Jeff]

Know.

[Caller Annie]

Oh, yeah. And she had to wait until the next morning for somebody to sober up to take her to the hospital. I mean, I guess that's dangerous. Oh, yeah, Totally dangerous. And to this day I feel like really a bad, bad person because I was too drunk to take her to hospital.

[Host]

Damn.

[Caller Annie]

I mean, she called everybody we knew on Jekyll island that day, that night, and nobody was sober to drive her into the hospital.

[Caller Diane]

You wait six hours while I sleep it off.

[Host]

Diane.

[Caller Diane]

Hello.

[Host]

Hi, Diane, you're on Q100. Good morning.

[Caller Annie]

Good morning. This happened about 20 years ago. The police called me. I'd had about four glasses of wine. The police called me and told me if I didn't come get my husband right away, they were going to arrest him for dui. And on the way home, I got arrested for dui.

[Host]

The Birch Show.

[Caller Jessica]

Do you guys have friends that you kind of avoid their phone calls?

[Caller Jeff]

Yes.

[Caller Jessica]

I hate to say that, but it's.

[Host]

Usually the long talkers.

[Caller Jessica]

Yes, it's not necessarily the long talkers, but it's sometimes the friends that you don't talk to for a long time. So you know it's going to be a long conversation trying to get caught up on everything. It's like because there's some friends I don't talk to for a while where we can just pick up real quick and have a five minute conversation. No big deal. You know, like one of my friends in Florida will be like, yeah, I'm running around with my kids. Okay, great to talk to you. Okay, gotta go. Bye. Whatever. And it's great. And we'll always pick up each other's phone calls. Cause it doesn't feel like it's gonna be an hour long investment.

[Host]

Sure.

[Caller Jessica]

But then there's other friends that once you get on the phone, you feel like you're always the one who's ending the conversation.

[Caller Jeff]

Yeah.

[Host]

This is the email version of like when you open up an email, and there's something that's gonna take a lot of time. You just save it. And then you think you're gonna get back to it with a voicemail or a call like this. Oh, I know I'm gonna be on the phone with this person 20 minutes, so I. I'll just call them back. And you never do.

[Caller Diane]

Or they're the people that refuse to acknowledge the wrap up.

[Caller Jeff]

Yeah.

[Caller Diane]

Like, when you're at the end of the call and you do that, well, it's really cool. Tell your mom I said hi. Oh, I will. You know, she went to Connecticut last week to go up to the casino, and then you're like, oh, that's great. Really?

[Caller Annie]

How'd she do?

[Caller Diane]

She did good? Oh, yeah, she did. Okay, great. Well, give her my best, and I'll talk to you later. I will. Hey, you know, we might be down that way in a couple days. Oh, my God. Don't you get the hint?

[Caller Jeff]

That's what text messaging is for.

[Caller Jessica]

Yeah, I text those people, and then it's the friends, too, that will be doing something. So you try to allow them doing something to be the excuse to get off the phone. Like, a friend of mine was like, oh, I'm going into the bank real quick. Hang on one second. Oh, that's okay.

[Caller Annie]

Just call me back later.

[Caller Jessica]

It's all right. You know what? Oh, no, no, no.

[Caller Jeff]

Just hold on.

[Caller Jessica]

And then they're, like, talking to the bank teller while you're still on the phone with them, and they're, like, doing their thing. You're like, no, really, we should get off the phone right now. You know, that's one of my.

[Host]

That's one of my pet peeves when somebody says to me, okay, I'll let you go. You're not letting me go. You want to go. You're not letting me go because I want to go. I'll let you go because I don't want to talk to you anymore. Is really what they're saying.

[Caller Jessica]

Exactly.

[Caller Diane]

I was on the phone with somebody yesterday and was actually than because they were having a random conversation. Actually, it was fairly important. We were talking about something, and in the middle of the conversation, she said, okay, I just walked into the dentist's office. I have to go. And I said, all right, talk to you later. And appreciated that, because the day before yesterday, I got stuck on the phone with somebody who did exactly what Javi just said. They're like, hold on a minute. And then I hear them walk up and they paid for their gas, which. Who doesn't buy gas at the pump, you idiot.

[Caller Jessica]

They hide your card.

[Caller Diane]

Yeah. So they paid for the gas, then they bought scratch off tickets, and they weren't even 60. I'm like, what are you doing? And I'm listening to the whole thing.

[Caller Jessica]

Pissed because you're ready to get off the phone. You're like, if you got something else going on, it's okay. We can end this conversation.

[Caller Jeff]

You know what Katie does is she acts as if something just came up. Like, oh, my God, Okay, I have.

[Caller Jessica]

To call you right back.

[Caller Jeff]

And then she never calls you back.

[Caller Jessica]

That's good.

[Caller Jeff]

And then when she does it on me, though, I get mad because I think, wait a second, I know you're tricked. But that's what she does is makes it sound like an emergency. And the person's like, oh, okay.

[Host]

Have you guys ever faked having a bad connection and then hung up?

[Caller Diane]

Yep.

[Host]

Like, you're talking just like this.

[Caller Jeff]

Yeah.

[Host]

And so. And then yesterday. And then you hang up and you're right in the middle of the sentence, and it just appears as though the phone went dead, but it really didn't. You've never done that?

[Caller Jessica]

No, I've never done that one.

[Caller Diane]

But I do do the phone, like.

[Caller Jessica]

Right in the middle, click it, like, oh. And then you just tell them next time, like, oh, sorry, man, must have been a bad connection or something.

[Caller Diane]

You hang it up and turn it off immediately. It goes right to voicemail. Like, oh, damn, this battery died.

[Host]

Battery died.

[Caller Jessica]

Yeah. I do the thing where you pray for voicemail when you're calling them back and it's one of people you're going to talk to for a long time. You're like, voicemail, voicemail, voicemail, voicemail. On the fourth ring, you're like, oh, I'm so there. I'm so there. I'm so there. And their voicemail picks up like, yes. So you start leaving a message and then they're beeping in. And then do you ever do that whole thing where you ignore the beep in, like you're not getting it somehow? Like in the trickery of phone land.

[Host]

Like, you didn't get their call in.

[Caller Jessica]

You don't say already in their voicemail?

[Caller Diane]

In the magic of cellular technology, anything is possible.

[Host]

Exactly.

[Caller Diane]

Like, I've called people back and they said, oh, didn't you see? I called? And I'm like, sometimes my phone is weird. When I'm in a rural area, like Sandy Springs, it doesn't ring. It just comes up and says, you have new voicemail. But I Can't check it until I get to a metro area like Marietta, so I don't have any towers near my house. Up near the corner of Roswell and Hammond.

[Host]

Hey, Nate, you're on Q100.

[Caller Nate]

Hey, good morning, guys.

[Caller Jeff]

Hey.

[Caller Nate]

Hey. I was gonna say I get phone calls from friends that I haven't talked to in a while, mostly because my wife and I just had a newborn and I've just been really busy. But I dodged phone calls from people that I know are gonna put me on a guilt trip for not calling them in so long.

[Host]

If I avoided every one of those calls, I wouldn't be able to call anybody because I can't remember the last time I actually called somebody and they said, dude, it's been so long since we talked, man. I called you three weeks ago.

[Caller Diane]

Don't give me a guilt trip when I call you.

[Host]

Call it a guilt trip. Yeah, I feel you, Nate.

[Caller Nate]

Yeah. Cool. Later, guys.

[Caller Jessica]

If you realize you're one of those people that gives guilt trips, just know that you're one of those people where we are hitting ignore just so you.

[Caller Diane]

Here's the answer that we're thinking when you go, oh, so there's so many more important people in your life that you can't call me back? You know what we're thinking? Well, yeah, as a matter of fact, there are. That's what we're thinking.

[Host]

Even if it's my mom, right?

[Caller Annie]

Yeah, Mom.

[Host]

You're about fourth on the depth chart. I gotta tell you.

[Caller Diane]

I have taught by a friend a guaranteed trick to go right to voicemail if you want it every time.

[Caller Jessica]

What is it?

[Caller Diane]

You have to have two phones.

[Caller Jessica]

Oh.

[Caller Diane]

You make the initial call on your cell phone, okay. The minute it starts to ring, you put your cell phone on mute and dial the same number from a landline.

[Host]

Because that's a lot of work to avoid a call right there. You really hate people because of the cell phone.

[Caller Jeff]

I'll have to get a landline, then.

[Caller Diane]

The cell phone trickery down to your lair to run some cables into your cable.

[Caller Jeff]

I have to get the.

[Caller Jessica]

If two are calling at the same.

[Caller Diane]

Time, the second one goes right to voicemail. The first one's on mute. So they pick it up and they go, hello, hello, hello. Meanwhile, you've gone right to Voicemine. You're like, hey, what's up, Jen? It's Jeff. I don't know what happened. Your phone just acted weird. But anyways, call me back when you get a second, and I'll ignore it.

[Caller Jeff]

That's the equivalent of tapping the wrong shoulder and they turn the wrong direction and then you sneak on the other side.

[Caller Jessica]

You're right. That is actually really brilliant. And then there's. Isn't there some buttons on your phone? Like, I know on the BlackBerry, like there's a button on the top that if you hit ignore, they still hear it ring all the way to voicemail. But if you hit the end button, then it's. It sends them to voicemail because you can hear when you're calling someone and they send you to voicemail because it rings twice to like two or three times and then they send you.

[Host]

Oh, I didn't know that outside of.

[Caller Jessica]

The regular like three or four rings.

[Host]

Yeah, I have an ignore feature on my phone where if it's ringing, I just hit ignore and then I know it goes right to voicemail.

[Caller Jessica]

Yeah, but when people call you, they might know that you're sending them to voicemail.

[Host]

Well, they do now. Thank you.

[Caller Diane]

I haven't explored this service enough, but there is a service out there that allows you to listen to voicemails while they're being left.

[Host]

Oh, that's beautiful.

[Caller Diane]

And if you want to, every phone.

[Caller Jeff]

Should have the mistake one. Oh, hey, it's Melissa. Oh, wait, redo.

[Caller Diane]

If you want that whole thing, you can just start talking.

[Host]

Oh, that would jack you up.

[Caller Diane]

So you hear the greeting. Hey, it's Jeff. Leave me a message. Hey, Jeff, I was just wondering if you wanted to go to dinner tomorrow night and blah, blah, blah.

[Host]

No, I don't.

[Caller Diane]

I'll go.

[Host]

Hey, Heather, you're on Q100.

[Megan]

Good morning, guys.

[Caller Annie]

I was listening y' all talk about the cell phone thing. I work in ems, so I have friends that like to call me and you can't get them off the phone. So I'll tell them I get an emergency and turn my sirens on.

[Caller Jeff]

That's a beautiful, beautiful trick you got.

[Host]

We are turning into a society where conversations are going to be obsolete eventually with Instant messenger and texting now, it's not everybody.

[Caller Jessica]

It's not conversations in general. Yeah, like I'm cool with a five minute phone conversation or like being a means to an end. Like, hey, do you want to do something on Thursday night? Sure, let's do dinner. Where are we going to go?

[Host]

I don't know.

[Caller Jessica]

Text me later and we'll figure out exactly where to go, what time. Like those kind of phone conversations where it's a means to an end are great, but the rambling and the rambling and rambling while you're going to the grocery store, and then you're checking out and you're talking to the cashier and all that stuff. I'm just like, no, hey, the bird show.