Full Show PT 2: Thursday, January 15 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show

Full Show PT 2: Thursday, January 15 [Vault]
Date: January 15, 2026
Cast: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Stacy, Burchell, plus callers

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Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into two candid themes:

1. Turning Points in Alcohol Consumption: The cast and listeners share personal, often humorous or embarrassing "wake-up call" moments that led them to reevaluate their drinking habits.
2. Secrets Unveiled After Death: The team and callers discuss surprising, sometimes shocking things discovered about loved ones only after their passing.

As always, the tone is light, irreverent, and authentically honest, with the cast sharing openly and playfully ribbing each other and their audience.

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Segment 1: When Did You Realize It Was Time to Slow Down on Drinking?

(Starts ~01:17)

Bert’s New Orleans Revelation

• Bert recounts his experience at a DJ convention in New Orleans, reflecting on how recent rough nights have made him reconsider drinking.

  • "I'm just getting to the point now where I really kind of feel like I'm over it." – Bert (01:31)
  • Humorous visuals: name-tagged DJs like “Slammin Steve” and “Shotgun Sammy” one-upping each other.

• Two pivotal events prompted Bert’s rethinking:

  • Hit with a beer bottle at a club closing.
  • Getting so drunk he vomited on himself in the shower at 3:30 AM.
    • "My wife carried me out of Vision. I looked like a wounded soldier." – Bert (02:24)
    • "I smell like cigarettes and I end up throwing up on myself in the shower." – Bert (02:44)

• Stacy points out, it’s like Bert is taking a “sober look at drunk himself” and isn't impressed anymore. (02:48)

The Callers’ “Breaking Point” Stories

• Caller John: Drank so much he accidentally professed love for his girlfriend’s best friend (after 22 Jäger bombs!).

  • "I looked at my girlfriend and said, 'I love Karina.' And I got in a lot of trouble for that." (06:11)
  • On his drinking aftermath: "I had about 22 Jaeger bombs at this point." (06:19)

• Mary: Petite (5’2”), had nearly 17 Smirnoffs and multiple shots, hogged the bathroom for 9 hours after vomiting, woke up naked with a used condom on the counter.

  • "I hog the toilet for nine hours. I wouldn’t let anybody go to the bathroom. I wouldn’t let anybody else throw up." (08:14)

• Shannon: Got drunk after a bottle of Southern Comfort, delivered Burger King fries to the mayor of San Diego—and then puked them in his front yard.

  • "I delivered the French fries in the form of vomit in his front yard." (09:27)

• Audrey: Maid of honor at best friend’s wedding, got so hammered she projectile vomited all over the bar and wedding guests.

  • "It wasn’t just puke, it was projectile vomiting—and it went all over everybody. All over the bar." (10:29)

• Shay: College tequila binge, woke up to discover she’d mistaken a pail for the toilet, relieved herself by her bed.

  • "I see a dump of doo doo on the side of my bed...it’s all in my sheets and my feet." (11:50)
  • "To this day, I do not touch tequila." (12:17)
  • The cast jokes, “You pooping on yourself in the house, that’s a pretty good indication you need to look at what’s going on.” (12:26)

Notable Quote

• "Alcohol doesn't create it. It just found it." – Burchell on how drinking brings out hidden truths (07:21)

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Segment 2: “Charlie and the Wedding Hook-up Challenge”

(Starts ~14:14)

Setup

• “Charlie” calls in on the voice disguiser, discussing strategies for scoring at weddings — especially making fun of the bride & groom with receptive single guests.

  • "The worse the groom, the better chance I have." – Charlie (14:20)
  • Charlie is confident: "I give myself pretty good odds...I look good." (14:58)

• Charlie plans to play the “nice guy but self-effacing” type at his sister’s friend’s wedding.

Outcome

• On Monday, Charlie checks back in. Claims he "did get laid" with the bride’s unmarried (and “stunning”) sister, who was also a maid of honor.

  • "I think she’s the one. I think I'm really in love with her. I'm gonna stay with her forever." – Charlie, dryly (17:03)
  • Admits their mutual “bond” was partly over making fun of the other maid of honor (17:32).

• Details their drunken hookup ("She was drinking mojitos and martinis"), but assures the cast: "I don't take advantage of anyone who's passed out. But if they're drunk, it's all right." (19:25)

  • The cast razzes him: "That makes you a gentleman." – Burchell, sarcastic (19:31)

• Says the encounter had to be "quick": "It was already like 4:30 in the morning, so it had to be quick. You know." (20:15)

Memorable Exchanges

• "I just did it for you guys." – Charlie, playing up his “legend” for the show (20:23)
• Bert’s skepticism: "We’re not sure if you’re telling the truth or not, but we just got to go with what we hear." (20:30)

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Segment 3: Discoveries After Death—Family Secrets Revealed

(Starts ~20:41)

Burchell’s Story

• Describes going through his deceased father's extensive library with his mom; she finds "a lot of books about sexual activity in older men" that she never knew he was concerned about.
  • "She felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him she didn’t know." (23:22)
  • Prompts a discussion about discovering “who people really were” only after they pass.

Listeners’ Big Reveals

• Crystal: Learning dad had two secret marriages before her mom; no one in the family knew.

  • “No one knew that except his mother… That’ll shake things up a little bit.” (25:22–25:27)

• Susan: Realized after her CDC scientist mother’s death how accomplished she was, with boxes of published research and journals.

  • “We had no idea what she had actually accomplished.” (26:46)

• Bert’s Family: Found out after his grandfather’s death he had done major public service work—complete surprise to the family.

  • "They were building a monument to him because of all the public service work." (27:18)

• Jarrah: At grandmother’s funeral, discovered she had quietly supported three struggling families for years, despite being on Social Security.

  • "She had done this up until she died." (28:32)

• Charlene: Learned years after the fact that her grandparents were never actually married—and that she had uncles everyone thought were just family friends.

  • "I finally figured out that they were my uncles." (29:18)

• Eldoret: Found out only when settling paperwork after her mother’s death that her parents had never been married, despite believing so her entire life.

  • "She even gave me a date that they were married and a judge who married them... But they were never married." (30:10)

• Kelly: Discovered that her “uncle,” much younger than her father, was actually his cousin—secretly given to Kelly’s grandmother by her great-aunt after an affair during the Vietnam War.

  • "The sister took the baby and raised it as her own." (31:56)

• Another Kelly: Revealed that her grandmother was actually a lesbian, her "Aunt Sally" was really her long-time partner.

  • "I just thought that was a friend of hers, and it was actually her girlfriend." (32:51)

Cast Reflections

• "See, every generation, there's scandal." – Burchell (32:38)
• "You have a relative, a female relative who is much older, who's never been married. Wink, wink." – Burchell, on “old maid” euphemisms for closeted relationships (33:21)
• Bert marvels at the generational nature and secrecy: “It’s rarely talked about now in public. So back in the day, I mean, nobody said a word about that scandal.” (33:12)

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Notable Quotes & Standout Moments

• Bert on Bourbon Street:

  • "New Orleans just smells like feet. Or worse than feet...it smells like you are in a prostate." (03:28)

• On Honest Drunken Confessions:

  • "You don't know what's buried deep." – Bert (06:55)
  • "Alcohol doesn't create it. It just found it." – Burchell (07:21)

• On Unexpected Family Discoveries:

  • "She felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him she didn’t know." – Burchell (23:22)
  • "After my grandparents passed away, they never owned the house everyone grew up in, they were just renting for 50 years." – Bert (30:04)

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Timestamps for Key Moments

• 01:17 – Bert’s New Orleans DJ convention & drinking reflections
• 05:49 – Start of listeners’ drinking “rehab moments”
• 14:14 – “Charlie” and his wedding challenge strategy
• 20:41 – Burchell on discovering secrets after a parent’s death
• 25:06 – Callers’ stories about what they found after loved ones died
• 32:41 – Discovery of a grandmother’s secret sexuality

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Summary

This episode is a blend of unfiltered storytelling, outrageous mishaps, and genuine reflections on personal growth and family secrets. The cast and callers share vulnerable, hilarious, and often jaw-dropping stories about their “time to quit drinking” moments and the secrets that come out only after a loved one’s death. The show maintains its trademark tone—real, raw, and laugh-out-loud funny—while inviting listeners to reflect on the unseen parts of the lives around them.

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For more listener stories or to join the conversation:
Call 1-855-BertShow or visit www.thebertshow.com

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Transcript

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[BetterHelp Announcer]

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[Bird]

The Bird show so I am in New Orleans over the weekend. I was out on Thursday and Friday because I was at a DJ convention which is almost a parody in its that there's a convention for this industry to teach you how to do. This is funny to me.

[Burchell]

In itself we're trying to be sophisticated.

[Bird]

It's not even that. Just either way, it's just a whole bunch of DJs kind of like one upping each other and yak yakking at each other. Do you wear name tags? Yes, you do. So there's like you know, Slammin Stevie and Shotgun Sammy. Absolutely, absolutely like that. So I'm out on, on Bourbon street on Saturday night and I went into the weekend with the intention of look, you know what, maybe I'll have a couple of beers, maybe I'll get a little itty bitty buzz on. But I, you know what, I'm just getting to the point now where I really kind of feel like it. I'm over it. Like I'm just over it. And I had those two things happen over the last six months which have really slapped me in the face and have just said look dude, it's time. It's time to retire and get out of the drinking industry. Okay.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Wow.

[Bird]

I was at Vision months ago for the closing, you know, before they did the renovation and. Is that when you got hit with the beer bottle?

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

And then you were there for the opening?

[Bird]

Yeah. And they took you out on a tray. Well, Stacy, I look like a wounded soldier. I mean Stacy, literally my wife carrying me out a vision. And then I get home, it's 3:30 in the morning and I'M you know, I smell like cigarettes and I. I can't go to sleep, so I go in the shower and I end up throwing up on myself in the shower.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

So where.

[Bird]

Where do you want to give up then? What, What's. What's.

[Stacy]

You're just taking a look.

[Bird]

It's just like over it.

[Stacy]

You're just taking a look in the mirror from a sober perspective, looking at yourself drunk, going, you know, I'm not sure I like that guy anymore.

[Bird]

Right. And I mean, to be honest with you, like the last couple of times it's happened, I just don't enjoy the feeling of being drunk as much as I used to.

[Stacy]

That's good.

[Bird]

So I'm just starting to curve it a little bit. And New Orleans is just a really bad place to try to try on a new attitude of drinking, right?

[Stacy]

Yeah. Cause you gotta put up with a lot. I mean, that's why, you know, at clubs like that or in place party places like that, that's why people party, because you gotta put up with stuff like long lines and, you know, crappy sugary drinks like New Orleans with all those hand grenades and those, you know, yards of fruity bleh.

[Bird]

And not to mention, New Orleans just smells like feet.

[Stacy]

Smells bad.

[Bird]

It's worse than feet. Feet is the least of your concerns because literally the sewer runs right underneath Bourbon street. And it rains every day. They had the same thunderstorm problem there that we have here. And when the street dries up and it gets humid again, it smells like you are in a prostate. I mean, it is. It's awful, dude.

[Stacy]

But it's a great town to go to if you're ready to throw down and party.

[Bird]

I had my bachelor party there and I had a blast. That was years ago, but, you know, I'm just slowing it down now. So as happens when you're slowing down, you're drinking and you're with a whole bunch of people that are drinking. And I've been this guy too. I'm guilty of. Of beer pressure. Like, if you're drinking a lot and the guy with you isn't, you feel like you have to find out why or start to get him drunk. So I run into a guy from Boston who's uncomfortable with my non drinking. And I told him why. I told him about the vision nights, you know, the throwing up on myself in the shower and the bottle to the head and he goes, oh, you know, I went through a time like that also. I was visiting my family who just had a newborn in Boston. And the Baby at this point was all of about, I don't know, four or five months old. Well, they get a sitter for the night, and he and the father of the baby and the mom all go out and they go and they get their drink on and they all come home, and it's like 2:30 or 3 in the morning. And this Boston DJ is like, I just want to take a look at the baby one more time before I go to sleep. I just want to take a look at your cute baby one more time before I go to sleep. So he goes into the baby's room and is looking at the baby and is so drunk that he ends up throwing up in the crib.

[Stacy]

No, no, he did not.

[Bird]

Throws up in the crib. And it's.

[Stacy]

Are the parents standing there with him while he does it?

[Bird]

Mortified, obviously. Mortified. Yeah, they're there. Cause they're all checking out the baby. And there are just times where you just want to take a look at the baby one last time because he's so cute. Yeah, he throws up in the CR and obviously panic. Everybody starts to panic after that. So that was his look, I'm gonna curb my drinking moment. Yeah, yeah, that's the one. So we want to know for you guys, what is the straw that broke the camel's back with your drinking? Hey, John.

[Various Callers]

I started drinking real young, and I've had my girlfriend, who is now my wife, for several years, but one night we were over at some friend's house out in Tucker, and I actually, I got real drunk for her for the first time ever, because she'd never seen me drunk. And I did. And I told her best friend that I loved her to my girlfriend's face.

[Bird]

Oh, no, dude.

[Burchell]

Yeah.

[Various Callers]

I looked at my girlfriend and said, I love Karina. And I got in a lot of trouble for that.

[Burchell]

Oh, of course. Oh, my God.

[Bird]

Well, she's gonna be all sensitive about it and stuff. She doesn't need her anymore.

[Various Callers]

I had about 22 Jaeger bombs at this point.

[Stacy]

22?

[Various Callers]

Yeah, you know, it's just like a shot of Jaeger and a shot of Red Bull or something.

[Bird]

Yeah, he should be dead.

[Burchell]

Where did that comment come from?

[Various Callers]

Do what now?

[Burchell]

Where did the comment come from? I'm like, you focused on a friend. Where did the comment come from? Like, had you thought about that friend before?

[Various Callers]

No, not really. I just went in her friend's bedroom, and she was in there with her boyfriend, and it kind of just accidentally flipped out. I have no idea.

[Bird]

I was just talking some truths that.

[Various Callers]

Come out when you're drunk, though.

[Bird]

You don't know what's buried deep.

[Stacy]

That's a whole different topic right there.

[Bird]

I told these guys that last time, you know, when I threw up on myself in the shower. As I was. I'm crawling into bed, I start spewing out all this really dark stuff going on in my mind about being a father and my dad, and I didn't even remember saying anything about it. And I woke up the next morning and my wife Stacy's like, I really think you need to go see somebody about some of the things that you said last night. You never know what's buried inside there until it's happening.

[Burchell]

Alcohol doesn't create it. It just found it.

[Bird]

Yeah, it's buried. Hey, Mary, you're on all the hits q100.

[Various Callers]

Hi, good morning.

[Bird]

Morning.

[Various Callers]

Okay, I have to preface my story with this. I'm five foot two, about 130 pounds. Alcohol tolerance when I was 21 was like one wine cooler. And I'm like, hey, it's bad. Okay. So we go out for a night of drinking and I have maybe four or five drinks at the club. We end up going to a friend's house. I make a tray of jello shooters and do them all by myself, like two cups of vodka. And then we were chugging beers and taking shots and playing strip poker. I ended up probably having 17 Smirnoff Ice and maybe like seven shots of peach.

[Burchell]

And you're five two.

[Various Callers]

And I'm five two.

[Bird]

About 132 people should be dead, man.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

I know.

[Various Callers]

And so we're in a one bedroom, one bath apartment. So I hear somebody starting to throw up. And that's it for me. I run to the bathroom and I'm told that I hog the toilet for nine hours. I wouldn't let anybody go the bathroom. I wouldn't let anybody else throw up. So I wake up in the morning, I'm naked, I'm covered in a towel. There's a used condom on the counter, and my boyfriend's asleep behind me. After that, for next two days, I don't remember a thing.

[Burchell]

At least it was your boyfriend. I said, at least there's your boyfriend in the bathroom with you.

[Bird]

That's a wake up moment, though. That's a wake up moment right there, man. I have known guys that have decided they in the fraternity. I mean, when you're like at the height of your drinking that have done like the group throw up thing in the same toilet that stopped drinking after about after that for A couple of months. But back then you bounced back from it pretty quickly. Yeah. Morning, Shannon. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Various Callers]

Good morning.

[Bird]

Hi.

[Various Callers]

I, of course, stopped drinking and started drinking again after this incident. But my friends and I decided, for some odd reason, to, after drinking a bottle of Southern Comfort, bring Burger King French fries to the mayor of San Diego' at which point I delivered the French fries in the form of vomit in his front yard.

[Bird]

You threw up in the mayor's front yard?

[Various Callers]

Yes. It was Roger Hedgecock, if that tells you how long ago this was.

[Bird]

Roger Hedgecock was the mayor back in, like, the mid-80s in San Diego?

[Burchell]

Yeah. Now, see, that story changes depending on how old she is. If she's 21, it's funny. If she's 41, it's pathetic.

[Bird]

Not so funny, Audrey. You're on all the hits q100. Hi.

[Various Callers]

Good morning. How are you doing?

[Burchell]

Good.

[Various Callers]

Good. Okay. Well, this was two weeks ago, and I was at my best friend's wedding. I was the maid of honor. And this was in Macon. It was a huge wedding. About 500 people at the reception. And the wedding got over about 2 o'. Clock. So the wedding party decided to go drinking at the bar across the street. And it was all good. Then we come back to the reception, start doing shots, and by seven o', clock, I am completely trashed. So I was sitting there, I was smoking a cigarette, and all of a sudden I had to throw up. And I'm in the middle of the bar. It was a huge open area, and I puked everywhere. And it wasn't just puked, it was projectile vomiting. And it went all over everybody. All over the bar.

[Burchell]

Exorcist, like.

[Various Callers]

Exactly.

[Burchell]

It was spinning.

[Various Callers]

It was horrible. I mean, I was in the bathroom. I couldn't give my speech. I was in the bathroom all night.

[Bird]

So this, this and this is your best friend that was getting married?

[Various Callers]

Yes, and I was the maid of honor. Family was maid of honor girl for 13 years. I know her whole.

[Stacy]

How long did you stop drinking after that?

[Various Callers]

Well, it's been two weeks and I haven't drank, so it's going to be long. Yeah, we're going to see how we can do it.

[Bird]

You said it was two weeks ago. We'll see how you do.

[Various Callers]

Yeah, we'll see how next weekend goes. You know how it is.

[Bird]

All right. Thank you. Talk about stealing the spotlight out the wedding man. Good morning. Shay, you'll be the last call. What's going on?

[Various Callers]

Good morning, you guys. How are y'? All? Doing today.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Good.

[Bird]

Thank you.

[Various Callers]

I'm so excited. I've never gotten actually gotten through to you guys.

[Burchell]

And now you get through to telling an embarrassing story.

[Stacy]

Perfect.

[Various Callers]

Yes. Well, this actually happened about five or six years ago. I was in college and we decided to go get some tequila and take tequila shots. So, you know, I'm drinking my shots, I'm drunk as a stunk by this time, and I had to get carried to my bed. And I wake up and get out of the bed and I see a dump of doo doo on the side of my bed. And I look down, I'm like, what's going on? I have it all in my sheets and my feet.

[Bird]

Oh, no.

[Various Callers]

And obviously I've mistaken the pail that was laying beside my bed for the bathroom. And I take that dump.

[Bird]

No, no, no, no.

[Various Callers]

Margot. I was so happy nobody else was in the house. Cause I was in the dorm and I had it everywhere.

[Bird]

Oh, no. God. How long was it before you had your next drink?

[Various Callers]

Oh, it was weeks. I would not. And to this day, I do not touch quo tequila. I would not touch it.

[Bird]

Yeah, you pooping on yourself in the house, that's a pretty good indication. Maybe you're. You need to look at. Look at what's going on. Oh, you're squishing poo between your toes.

[Burchell]

And your sheets again. Six months.

[Stacy]

Cute.

[Burchell]

You know, 36.

[Stacy]

Pathetic.

[Bird]

Yeah, Shay, you can't hide sexy. Thank you for calling. Bye bye bye. The Bird show.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

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[Burchell]

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[Bird]

This is a little bit of the phone call that we had with Charlie on Friday. And this is him on the Voice disguiser.

[Charlie]

The worse the groom, the better chance I have. Because if the groom is someone like really terrible that the bride's marrying, everyone feel, you know, like the girls feel like, God, you know, at least I'm not marrying him, you know, or just you have someone good. You have someone like really, you know, not so great to compare yourself to. Especially if you can make fun of the bride and the groom, you know, behind their back. That's always like sort of a turn on for some reason for the girls.

[Bird]

All right, so you're heading out to Tennessee When?

[Charlie]

I'm headed out tomorrow morning. Tonight I'm going out. But the wedding's tomorrow.

[Burchell]

Okay.

[Bird]

Okay. So we can check back with you on Monday morning. And if you had to give yourself odds on if you are gonna do well this weekend at this wedding or not, what odds would you give yourself?

[Charlie]

Oh, I give myself pretty good odds. I mean, number one, it's a large wedding, it's out of town. Yeah, totally. And I look good.

[Bird]

Do you have a story already in your mind of who you're gonna be at the wedding?

[Charlie]

I'll probably be a really nice guy type of thing. You know, sort of like a little shy maybe. I mean, it's like my sister's friend's wedding and so they're younger, you know, I'm a little bit more successful than a lot of them. I'm sort of like a good catch, you know, type of thing. But maybe I'll just be like a little self efface singer, you know?

[Bird]

How old are you?

[Charlie]

I'm 26.

[Bird]

Charlie, we'll check back in with you on Monday morning. I will tell you that you got a couple of people in here a little skeptical, but we'll check back in with you on Monday morning around 7:30, see how you do.

[Charlie]

It's a sure thing.

[Bird]

Okay. It's a sure thing.

[Burchell]

Sure thing.

[Bird]

It's a sure thing, man. All right, Charlie, now back on with us on the Voice Disguiser. Yep. Hey, Charlie.

[Charlie]

Yeah. Hey, guys. How you doing?

[Bird]

Good. Well, the first question even before you tell us how you did this weekend, because we're all pretty much believing that you're going to say that you did very, very well. What was your story going into the wedding? What Persona did you put on?

[Charlie]

I didn't put on a Persona. It was still just me. Like I mentioned something, I just heard the voice disguiser and I sound like an Oompa Loompa. How come you can't make me? Like now I sound like a creepy guy, you know, with this Oompa Loompa voice.

[Bird]

Well, you sound like. I think it's the material more than it is the voice disguise or you being a creepy guy. Yeah.

[Charlie]

It wasn't any story. My sister was there, so I couldn't make up too many stories. You know, it was her friend who was getting married.

[Bird]

Okay.

[Charlie]

You know, it's just, you know, my typical suave self.

[Bird]

I can hear it. Yeah, it's dripping through the speakers. So what happened?

[Charlie]

You know, the problem with this is that if I called and said that I didn't get laid, then you would believe me, I guess. And then if I said I did get laid, then you wouldn't believe me, so. But I did get laid.

[Bird]

You did?

[Charlie]

Yeah. Of course you're gonna go, oh, yeah. But, yeah, I did.

[Burchell]

Now I'm curious, because you said it was a sister's friend getting married. Now there's the possibility that there would be a lot of people you already knew. Was this a total stranger that you were able to get lucky with?

[Charlie]

Yeah, it's someone who I really don't know. Before, it was the bride's sister.

[Burchell]

Okay.

[Charlie]

And she was. Yeah. And I think she's the one. I think I'm really in love with her. I'm gonna stay with her forever.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yes.

[Stacy]

Was she the maid of honor in the wedding?

[Charlie]

Yeah.

[Stacy]

And she's not married?

[Charlie]

No, no, she's not.

[Stacy]

She's not involved or anything. And her sister was the one getting married?

[Charlie]

Yes.

[Bird]

Is that prime target number one right there?

[Charlie]

I see the extra points for that.

[Stacy]

But, you know, she was, like, really mad that her sister got married before.

[Charlie]

Her, and she was, you know, she was a little bit of that, but she was more pissed off at the other. At the other maid of honor.

[Burchell]

Other maid of honor?

[Charlie]

Yeah. Sometimes there's tacky old friend of the brides and of her sisters, and she didn't think that she should be the maid of honor, blah, blah, blah. So. So I didn't make fun of the bride and groom, but we sort of made fun of the other maid of honor.

[Bird]

Did you say that this was an older sister or a younger sister?

[Charlie]

I don't even know.

[Bird]

I bet it's older. I bet it's an older sister.

[Burchell]

The younger sister's getting married before you.

[Bird]

Easy target? Is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah.

[Stacy]

Oh, for sure.

[Charlie]

So she was. She was really just beautiful. I mean, she was stunning.

[Bird]

Really?

[Charlie]

Yeah, totally.

[Burchell]

That's all you have to say to her?

[Stacy]

You.

[Burchell]

You know what? Honestly, you look so much better than the bride Than she's yours.

[Charlie]

Her sister looks like, you know, junk.

[Various Callers]

Right.

[Stacy]

So when did you start working it with her? Like, when did you pick her out and start working it? Was it Friday? Was it Saturday day?

[Charlie]

I met her. I met her the night before the wedding really briefly. And I thought she was. I mean, totally. There's, like, her and, like, two other girls who I was, like, really interested in. And then the next day we saw each other again, and we just sort of laughed and, you know, and she was already going. I heard that my sister was telling me that she was going in on the other maid of honor. So I thought, yeah, there's my entry point.

[Stacy]

Okay?

[Bird]

There's my entry point. The military operation. So what I did is I moved in with a shock and awe.

[Stacy]

Right.

[Burchell]

Let me ask a question, because one thing that you talked about last week that sounded a little offensive was, you know, making fun of the bride and groom and making fun, whatever. And that's a good way to get into the conversation. But I'm thinking in this scenario, like, did you use any tactic like that to.

[Charlie]

Well, yeah, the tactic that we used like, that was making fun of the other maid of honor but not the bride of the. Probably wouldn't be too cool, Right? You know?

[Stacy]

So did she drink a lot at the reception?

[Charlie]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Stacy]

How much?

[Charlie]

How much did she drink or I drink her. Oh, and she drank the worst junk, too, man. She was drinking, like, mojitos and then a martini or something. I don't even know what she was doing to herself. But it was fine, right?

[Burchell]

You didn't care.

[Various Callers]

But she wasn't.

[Charlie]

I don't take advantage of anyone who's passed out. But if they're drunk, it's all right.

[Bird]

You were. I'm sure you were forced.

[Burchell]

That makes you a gentleman.

[Various Callers]

Exactly.

[Bird]

I didn't play if you turned a minute. I didn't think you were classy.

[Burchell]

When she's unconscious and you don't do her. Oh, man.

[Bird]

A guy with a heart. No wonder why they fall for you.

[Burchell]

You're such a soul.

[Stacy]

So the bride and Grimm leaves. You blow the bubbles, throw the rice at the bird seed or, you know, let butterflies go or whatever. And the bride and the Grimm leave. Then what happens?

[Charlie]

They didn't leave. They stayed until the end of the reception.

[Burchell]

Oh.

[Charlie]

But, yeah, we just hung out a lot. You know, we hung out, we danced, we had a good time. It was a little touch and go there for a while, but, you know.

[Stacy]

You weren't sure you were gonna get in there.

[Charlie]

I wasn't so sure I was gonna get in there. And by the time we got back to her room, which was much nicer than my room. Cause she was staying in, you know, the sort of family suite type of thing.

[Bird]

Oh, sure.

[Charlie]

It was already like 4:30 in the morning, so it had to be quick. You know.

[Stacy]

That's your excuse anyway, right?

[Charlie]

I just did it for you guys.

[Bird]

Thanks.

[Charlie]

Thank you for doing my ways. Thought I had to prove something.

[Bird]

All right, Charlie, thank you for calling. We're not sure if you're telling the truth or not, but we just got to go with what we hear. So thank you for calling.

[Charlie]

Thank you. Have a great week, guys.

[Bird]

Bye, Charlie. Check away. Bye.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Bye.

[Bird]

The bird show I've been talking about.

[Burchell]

I guess, the past couple weeks, even summer vacation. I spent my summer vacation while we were off staying at home in my townhouse because I've been there a couple years now and trying to get the last things done. The last rooms painted, last shelves hung. There's little irritating things that you always stare in your house and it's not done and you're frustrated. One of the other things that was kind of holding that up that I did also is my father had passed away a few years ago, and one of the things I inherited from him was his library collection. And my father was an avid reader. And it was just this year that my brother was able to finally haul all the books in his truck and get them down here to Atlanta. And so I was sorting through them because I didn't keep all of them. I donated a lot of them. And one of the things, and it's cool, I mean, he had all kinds of where he liked mysteries and westerns and all the stuff. And there was some travel books. And one of the cool things is one of the travel books that he had is actually a travel book that I've bought. So it's kind of weird that. Oh my God. You know, my dad and I bought the same travel book. Didn't know it, but my mom was down over the week we were off, and she was helping me sort through the books. And so we were going through the books. And then I just noticed that it started out with we were sorting them in different boxes and she would just go ahead and stack them and put them in the boxes and then pack the boxes and then shove them to the side. And it was just pretty, like, pretty fast going. And then I noticed though, that she would slow down a little bit and then she would like, look at a book and sort through the pages and then put them back. And so I noticed, I mean, you just kind of sense when someone's vibe has changed a little bit, even if, though they're not saying anything. Well, it ends up that some of the books he had, Travel, western, mystery. He also had medical books, and she had gotten into the collection of medical books. Now, again, my brother had packed all these books, and again, he had a library, so mom didn't necessarily know, obviously, every book he had. And so a lot of the books that he had had in the medical part had to do with sexual activity. Sexual activity in older men, Sexual dysfunction in older men. Just a lot of books about sex. And mom was fascinated by this because obviously it was not a concern that she shared with him. You know, he shared with her. I mean. Yeah. That she. That he shared with her. And so she was confused. I mean, they were married for 51 years, so she was confused. Confused. Because when you're old, like, he passed away when he was in his 70s. And. And for those who are, you know, are not aware of. Of, you know, people in their lives that are older, especially for men, that is a concern for them when they're older, especially if they have heart problems. My father had a heart attack. And men who have heart attacks, usually that is something they're not able to do anymore after the fact.

[Bird]

So not even an older person thing.

[Burchell]

Really, when you're in your mid. When you're in your mid-30s. No, I'm just kidding.

[Bird]

Always there in the back of your mind.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Privately.

[Bird]

Privately. Burch wants to know where this person is.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Exactly.

[Bird]

Next time you need help cleaning out your house, just let me know.

[Burchell]

Exactly.

[Bird]

Be glad to come remove some boxes for you.

[Burchell]

Yeah, exactly. But the fascinating thing, though, was the fact that she felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him. She didn't know how much of a concern this was for him. So we. I was. It was interesting to see someone after the fact that he was gone. She learned something new about him after he had passed away, but simply by going through his possessions.

[Bird]

404-741-1005 this could be really interesting, like what you found out about somebody that you didn't know after they died. Right. And so, I mean, you can't do anything about it at that point, obviously, but just to know, like, the shocking things that you might have that you should have known while they were alive or maybe even not have known.

[Burchell]

Because the thing is, you.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

You.

[Burchell]

Because we don't think about it, but when someone passes away, like all their possessions have to be divided and sent and gone somewhere. So someone has to come. Like when you pass away, someone has to come into your home and. And clean every single thing out. Because something has to happen in your home. You know, you. If there's nobody you're leaving behind, they have to sell the house. They have to, you know, if you're renting, whatever. So you have to think about every single possession you have. And there's. No. There's not very many people in your life that know of every single thing you have.

[Bird]

You know, here's one that's quite a bit more morbid than that and quite a bit more sad. But after Stacy's aunt died of ovarian cancer, everybody found out afterwards that she had never gone to a gynecologist in her whole life. How do you find that out afterwards? I think medical records and stuff like that. They're backtracking and all that to try to trace where maybe they had missed it. Never had one exam at all, you know. So what are the things that you found out about somebody after they passed away? Good morning, Crystal. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Various Callers]

Hey. My dad passed away a little over a year ago, and after he died, me and my brother had gone to his mother's house, and we're going through some old pictures and stuff of him that we may have wanted to keep, and found out he had been married twice to two different women before my mother.

[Bird]

No one knew that.

[Various Callers]

No one knew that except his mother.

[Bird]

That'll shake things up a little bit. How did your. Your mom take that?

[Various Callers]

My mom was just kind of, you know, I called my mom. We were on our way with my grandmother's, and I called my mom. I was like, why didn't you tell us this? And she was like, I didn't know that.

[Bird]

Oh, wow. That'll set you back a little bit.

[Various Callers]

I kind of dropped the bomb on.

[Burchell]

My mom, and it was.

[Bird]

Yeah, what was she Take it, though? I'm curious. Like, after you told her and she had a chance to calm down and regroup a little bit. I mean, that's a pretty big part of somebody's life, especially if she went through her entire life thinking that she was the only woman ever in his life.

[Various Callers]

Well, like, she kind of. It was a shock to her. But he was also in Vietnam, and it was back in his Vietnam days, and that was something that he didn't talk about. He didn't like to relive those days and everything that went on in his life back then. So I think, you know, mom was just kind of like, you know, I wish you would have told me. But at the same time, I think she kind of understood that. Okay. That was back when he was in, you know, Vietnam, and he never talked about that part of his life. He never really liked to discuss, you know, what went on and all that kind of stuff. It was kind of part of his life he tried to block out. Wow.

[Bird]

Wow. Yeah, that would. That's a big secret. That's a very, very big secret.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Mm.

[Various Callers]

Ye.

[Bird]

All right. Thank you for calling, Crystal. Thanks. Bye.

[Burchell]

Bye.

[Bird]

Yeah, that one's huge right there.

[Burchell]

Wow.

[Bird]

Good morning, Susan. You're on all the hits Q100.

[Various Callers]

Yeah. My mom actually passed away a few years ago, and she was pretty high up in the. In the CDC group working on infectious diseases and epidemiology. And when she passed away, we had no idea what she had actually accomplished. And we got this huge box from CDC about all these journals she had published and all these different, you know, different types of diseases she had researched as well as, like, different ways to cure them and treat them, and we had no idea.

[Burchell]

That's cool.

[Bird]

My dad went through a similar experience with my grandfather. Actually, I remember this, that my grandfather was kind of like my dad, kind of like a really, really hard guy. You know, like, didn't show a lot of emotion, kind of abrasive, and just very kind of cold. Ish. You know? And after my grandfather passed away, my dad got a call from the city in which my grandfather passed away and saying that they were building a monument to him because of all the public service work that he had done in that town. So even today, there's, like, this big old plaque on the side of a building. I mean, he was helping out all these, like, build playgrounds and underprivileged children and stuff like that. My dad had no idea. It's just something that my grandfather never talked about. What town is that in? It's in Long Beach, New York. So can you go there and see? You can go there and see. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. Harold Weiss. There's a monument to him.

[Burchell]

Very cool.

[Bird]

Good morning, Jarrah. You're on all the hits Q100.

[Various Callers]

Good morning. My grandmother, at her funeral, we found out that she had taken care of three families. My grandmother was on Social Security at the time that had helped pay their rent, buy them food, take care of the children, made sure they had school clothes, and she had done this up until she died. Wow.

[Burchell]

We've heard similar stories. Like, people who've passed Away here in Georgia, where once they lived in such very basic house. And it looked like they didn't have much income at all, but they had been saving their money when they died. They had millions to give away to universities and stuff. It's just fascinating.

[Bird]

Good morning, Charlene.

[Various Callers]

Hey. How's it going?

[Burchell]

Good.

[Bird]

You're on the burch shelf.

[Various Callers]

I found out when I was 14, this is like, eight years after my grandfather had died, that my grandparents were never married.

[Bird]

Really?

[Various Callers]

I had no idea. I had uncles, and it was always like, oh, that's your grandfather's friend, but it was actually his son. Like, I just recently, in the last month, found all three of my uncles, and they're all so excited that I finally figured out that they were my uncles.

[Burchell]

Oh, cool. That's scandalous, too.

[Bird]

Yeah. Did they wear the dad? Yeah.

[Various Callers]

You know, back then, it was my whole grandmother's family cut her off because she was with my grandfather, who was actually married to another woman.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Okay.

[Bird]

That's the one.

[Various Callers]

You wouldn't give him a divorce.

[Bird]

Did they wear the wedding rings and stuff while they were alive?

[Various Callers]

Well, I always knew my grand. You know, they both had the same last name, but they never. You know, when you're 14, you don't really look at people's wedding rings. Really figured out, you know.

[Bird]

That's wild. Yeah. Thank you. I just remembered that we found out after my grandparents passed away that they never owned the house that, like, everybody grew up in, like, my mom and all of her sisters and brothers. Like, that house, like, it was a rental from the woman who owned this little store next door and that nobody ever knew that.

[Burchell]

Wow.

[Bird]

Like, they paid rent for, like, 50 years on a house.

[Burchell]

Mm.

[Bird]

Morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Various Callers]

Hi. My name is Eldoret Morning. I found out very similar. My parents were never really married, and I did not find out until my mother passed away, even when she was ill and I was having to fill out papers for her. She even gave me a date that they were married and a judge who married them, she held that stuff. But they were never married. And I had to face my father and ask him eventually, after my mother passed, and he didn't want to tell me, but he did tell me that because it's so. Because Social Security wanted to know, and he had to let me know that they were never legally married.

[Bird]

Wow.

[Various Callers]

He had his name and everything. It's all on my birth certificate. And I'm. I'm. To be honest, I'm 56 years old, so that Was way back in the day. And I just tell you, it was. It kind of floored me. It never would have mattered to me. I guess my mother thought it might.

[Burchell]

Right.

[Bird]

Unreal. Thank you for calling.

[Various Callers]

Be welcome.

[Burchell]

Bye.

[Various Callers]

Bye.

[Burchell]

To be on your deathbed and still hold on to that, obviously, is that important, you know?

[Bird]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning.

[Various Callers]

Hey, Burt. Show.

[Burchell]

Hi.

[Various Callers]

I found out after my grandmother passed away, my dad grew up in a family. It was two boys and two girls. And his youngest brother, Rick, was quite a bit younger than everybody else. Only to find out that it actually was his cousin.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

His.

[Various Callers]

My grandmother's sister. So my great aunt had had an affair while her husband was in Vietnam and was too, you know, obviously didn't give up the child, you know, didn't have an abortion and ended up giving it to his, you know, her sister.

[Burchell]

So the sister took the baby and raised it as her own.

[Various Callers]

And raised it as her own. So he was in the family. So all came out after my grandmother passed away when all of the. Everything was being divided up in the estate.

[Bird]

Wow.

[Stacy]

Did the great aunt's husband come back from Vietnam and find out about it?

[Various Callers]

Well, he came back and just to see that he had a new nephew.

[Burchell]

Because he was gone long enough.

[Stacy]

He was gone long enough to never know that his wife had had a baby.

[Various Callers]

Exactly.

[Burchell]

Whoa.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Whoa.

[Stacy]

Yes. Fascinating.

[Various Callers]

Yeah. My dad was pretty devastated, too, but, you know, nonetheless, he was.

[Bird]

Yeah. And you're so helpless at that point. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Stacy]

No.

[Bird]

Again like that.

[Burchell]

See, every generation, there's scandal.

[Bird]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning.

[Various Callers]

Hey, good morning, Burchell. How are you guys doing?

[Bird]

All right, thanks.

[Various Callers]

Good. I found out that my grandmother was gay.

[Burchell]

Really?

[BetterHelp Announcer]

How?

[Various Callers]

It came out through one of my cousins. And the whole time when I was little, let's call her Aunt Sally, she was actually her girlfriend, and she had been living with her for, like, years, like, 30 plus years. And I just thought that was a friend of hers, and it was actually her girlfriend.

[Burchell]

I mean, your old maid Ann is really a lesbian.

[Bird]

That'll make your knees buckle a little bit. And I mean, it's rarely talked about now in public. So back in the day, I mean, nobody said a word about that scandal. Yeah.

[Burchell]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You have a relative, a female relative who is much older, who's never been married. Wink, wink.

[Bird]

You know what's up? You know.

[Burchell]

You know what's up.

[Bird]

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[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Bird]

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