Full Show PT 2: Thursday, July 2 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Thursday, July 2 [Vault]
Date: July 2, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show is a lively, candid, and irreverently funny dive into real-life relationship dramas, embarrassing personal stories, and social media mishaps—all with the signature Bert Show blend of humor and authenticity. The main segments focus on a listener's ordeal with her husband's photoshopped vacation pics, a comedic challenge involving original standup, nostalgic listener dares, and a revealing discussion about the sneaky tactics people use to conduct or catch affairs. Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and callers bring in their trademark wit and openness, creating a sense of family among listeners and cast alike.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Photoshop Drama: Jennifer vs. Her Husband

Starts at 01:30, returns at 29:13 for follow-up

The Situation

• Jennifer calls in, angry and embarrassed that her husband posted vacation photos to Facebook, but had digitally altered her body to make her look skinnier without her consent.
• She only discovered this insult after noticing friends comparing both their posts—her originals and his altered ones—sometimes stacked right on top of each other in their feeds.

Major Reactions

• Universal agreement among the cast and callers that her husband’s actions were inappropriate and hurtful.
• Several express that if the Photoshop was Jennifer’s own decision it would be different, but a partner changing your appearance signals deeper issues about acceptance and respect.
• "It's a reflection of how they feel about your body. If there’s something embarrassing that they don’t want to share with their friends or their family about your body…this is her husband!” — Female Caller (06:13)

Notable Moments & Quotes

• “People have started posting comments underneath the pictures saying, wow, looks like you lost a couple pounds in a matter of hours.” — Jennifer (02:27)
• “Why wouldn’t you want the better pictures out there?” — Bert, sparking debate (06:00)
• “First of all, that makes me think that the better version is his version, which is not really me.” — Jennifer (05:24)
• Listeners brainstormed humorous revenge, like digitally altering his appearance.
• “What she should do is take a before and after photo of his penis and do the same thing.” — Female Caller, to laughter (07:27)

Resolution

• Jennifer confronts her husband. He’s defensive at first, claiming it’s no big deal and that he edited his own body, too.
• After Jennifer tells him she discussed it live on the Bert Show, he agrees (out of embarrassment) to take down the photos and apologizes—also gifting Jennifer a bracelet as a gesture. (30:33–31:43)
• “I got my apology, and I'm getting a bracelet this weekend.” — Jennifer (31:36)
• Panel questions the long-term value of "apology gifts" (Kobe Bryant reference).

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2. Joanna’s Filene’s Basement Challenge & Stand-Up Set

Begins at 16:00, Standup starts at 20:02

Background

• Joanna wants early VIP access to Filene’s Basement for a cut-price dream wedding dress.
• To earn it, she must complete daily challenges set by the show, all designed to be embarrassing or difficult.

Previous Dares

• Posting a selfie seconds after waking up (with zero prep).

Today's Challenge

• Perform three minutes of original stand-up comedy on the air.

Stand-Up Highlights

• Jokes touch on her Uruguayan background, growing up in Atlanta, cultural stereotypes, and social media etiquette.
• “Facebook is awesome... However, I would appreciate it if you didn't do to me on Facebook things that you wouldn't normally do to me in person, right?” — Joanna Rodriguez (21:30)
• Jokes about weird gas station merchandise and why not every family should name their daughters Maria or sons Jesus.
• Cast and listeners are supportive: “That was like...for sure original material. Good for you.” — Female Perspective (22:51)

Next Challenge Preview

• Joanna’s brothers will select her most embarrassing childhood photos to share with listeners. (23:42)

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3. Modern Cheating: How People Hide Affairs (and Get Caught)

Begins at 36:20

Inspired by

• GQ’s interview with Rielle Hunter (John Edwards affair) and public intrigue with cheating politicians/celebrities.

Advice and Confessions from Listeners

• Separate phones and secret contacts (“best friends” who don’t really exist).
• Hidden email addresses and draft blogs never published (for private correspondence).
• P.O. boxes for secret bills or credit cards.
• Deleting communication histories suspiciously clean.

Notable Quotes

• “He was texting this guy, I love you, so…but it ended up being his ex girlfriend.”—Caller Liza, on finding her husband’s affair (41:37)
• “If he's not letting you go through his phone...probably a red flag.” — Female Caller (44:46)
• Discussion on how “guys will slip up” due to laziness or sloppiness (47:07).

Recurring Themes

• Gender differences in sneaky behavior and getting caught.
• Callers (mostly women) share how they outsmarted or caught cheating partners.
• Debate: Are apology gifts (jewelry, etc.) effective, or will they be a long-term reminder of wrongdoing?

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4. Lighter Moments & Show Community

Nostalgic Clips & Running Gags

• Replaying the infamous “leprechaun in the tree” local news story for St. Patrick’s Day (26:45).
• Inside jokes about the cast’s past on-air humiliations (“We all looked mad when we woke up and found the camera…”–17:38).

Listener Participation

• Growing, returning, and new listeners share stories, call in to give advice or reactions, and help cast members with technical challenges (like photo editing for pranks).

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “People have started posting comments underneath the pictures saying, wow, looks like you lost a couple pounds in a matter of hours.” — Jennifer (02:27)
• “It’s a reflection of how they feel about your body…this is her husband!” — Female Caller (06:13)
• “First of all, that makes me think that the better version is his version, which is not really me.” — Jennifer (05:24)
• “What she should do is take a before and after photo of his penis and do the same thing.” — Female Caller (07:27)
• “I got my apology, and I’m getting a bracelet this weekend.” — Jennifer (31:36)
• “When men and women give those forgiveness gifts…Every time you look at that, you’re gonna be thinking of the reason why he had to give it to you.” — Male Caller (31:53)
• “Facebook is awesome... However, I would appreciate it if you didn't do to me on Facebook things that you wouldn't normally do to me in person.” — Joanna Rodriguez (21:30)
• “He was texting this guy, I love you, so…but it ended up being his ex girlfriend.” — Liza (41:37)
• “If he's not letting you go through his phone...it's probably a red flag.” — Female Caller (44:46)
• “The good thing that women…have going for you, at least with guys, is guys will slip up. Guys are one, not super bright and two, kind of lazy.” — Bert (47:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:30 — Jennifer recounts her husband’s Photoshop betrayal
• 07:27 — Callers suggest revenge and discuss “better version” images
• 16:00 — Joanna’s Filene’s Basement VIP saga and challenge setup
• 20:02 — Joanna performs original stand-up comedy
• 23:42 — Joanna’s next challenge (“embarrassing childhood photos”)
• 29:13 — Jennifer returns with an update: apology, jewelry, and photo removal
• 31:53 — Panel discusses the psychology of “forgiveness gifts”
• 36:20 — Cheating: how they hide it, and how they get caught

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Tone & Takeaways

• Relatable humor and honesty: Listeners and cast freely share vulnerable stories, often finding the laugh in the pain.
• Empowered, pragmatic advice: Especially supporting women to stand up for themselves online and in relationships.
• Strong sense of family/community: Ongoing dares and listener participation reinforce The Bert Show as a morning “family” that has each other’s backs—even if it means some playful revenge or embarrassment.

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Perfect For:
Anyone craving a warts-and-all, comedic look at modern love, marriage, social media drama, and the daily absurdities of life—with plenty of laughs, heart, and solidarity along the way.

Transcript

[Bert]

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[Lady Luck]

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[Host (Bert)]

Hey, the Burt Show. We're gonna talk to Jennifer now. No voice disguiser because I mean, why need a voice disguiser? She looks great in all the pictures that are out there. She doesn't have to hide her identity. Hey, Jennifer, how are you?

[Jennifer]

I'm good. How are you?

[Christopher]

Good.

[Host (Bert)]

Share your fascinating story with us.

[Jennifer]

Oh God, this is so embarrassing. So I'm really angry at my husband. We went to Hawaii two weeks ago. It was a great trip, like a perfect trip. And we get back and of course posted pictures on Facebook, right? But in his set he photoshopped my body to look skinnier.

[Host (Bert)]

Oh my God.

[Jennifer]

So now on people's walls there are photos back to back of me where I'm clearly skinnier in his set.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Oh, my God. Did he tell you he was gonna do it?

[Jennifer]

No, he didn't. And it's totally embarrassing.

[Host (Bert)]

Have you. Yeah, I was gonna say, have you had any discussion with him about it or.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, I'm furious. I told him that was completely humiliating and he said it totally wasn't a big deal and I was completely overreacting. But people have started posting comments underneath the pictures saying, wow, looks like you lost a couple pounds in a matter of hours.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Stop it.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

No. Can you get him to pull him down?

[Jennifer]

I just don't understand why he would do it.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

He didn't give you an explanation?

[Jennifer]

No, he said he touched himself up, that it wasn't a big deal. But I mean, there's a huge difference now.

[Host (Bert)]

Is this what he does for a living? Like, is he a photographer or a graphic art.

[Jennifer]

Oh, he's a computer programmer now.

[Host (Bert)]

Is there a chance

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

because.

[Host (Bert)]

And I'm doing the male perspective here, because I'm just saying what guys like to do. Like when I get new software, regardless of what it is. Right. I like to play with it. So maybe he got new photo editing software and he just wanted to. I mean, it was different than what I did. Cause I gave, like, Jessica and I both black eyes and threatened to post them on Facebook so people would think we were in a bad marriage. But, like, I have done that on photo. Like, I've changed hair color. Like just different color eyes. Random stuff.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Well, that's on Photoshop. You're not posting them anywhere for anybody to see your creative work on your new software.

And Photoshop's been around for a long time.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, but like new versions or you get it or whatever. So maybe he.

[Jennifer]

This was like my ass and my legs. I think it's a little different.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Jennifer, are you feeling like he's got more issues with your body than you thought?

[Jennifer]

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Obviously he thinks I'm too heavy or

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

whatever to share with his friends.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, but I mean, I had already posted the pictures, so now literally on people's walls, they're back to back.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

So I just don't get if he was embarrassed. Why then why would he even post the pictures in the first place?

[Jennifer]

Tell me not to post mine at the same time.

[Host (Bert)]

So the delay. Are there any situations where the pictures are identical? Like it's the same exact picture?

[Jennifer]

Yes. Same bikini, obviously, the same day.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

So when you've updated it, basically, for those who don't do Facebook. So when you've updated your Photos. And he's updated his. Like, if I'm friends with both of you, I go to my Facebook page and they are stacked one on top of the other.

[Jennifer]

Exactly, exactly.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

You can see the. It's like a before and after picture.

Right.

[Jennifer]

And people are making fun of me. I mean, obviously close friends are being as kind as possible, but I mean, I find this completely humiliating and that obviously he does have a problem with my body.

[Host (Bert)]

Okay, now, now, before we start, you know, talking about how you're going to talk to your husband and what the process is, what would prevent you from perhaps just taking your pictures down and enjoying the better version of you that he has created.

[Jennifer]

Well, first of all, that makes me think that the better version is his version, which is not really me. You know, Also, he thinks that I'm being completely crazy.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Well, I don't think you're being completely crazy at all. And I'm surprised that he. Yeah, I'm surprised he's that defensive about it.

[Host (Bert)]

But if you. I'm just.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I think if. I mean, I think if he did it and it was a mistake and he didn't know you were posting yours and it was sort of a mix up in communication, I would think he'd be doubled over to himself apologizing and then taking him down.

[Host (Bert)]

Well, our phone.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I'm just surprised he's defensive.

[Host (Bert)]

Our phone number's 404-741-Q100. And your phone calls are always welcome. But I'm just from the guy's point of view, asking women, like, why wouldn't you want the better pictures out there?

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

No, not unless you did it yourself. If it's something I did myself, if it's a bikini picture, I did it myself. And maybe I make my thighs a little thinner or whatever. If I do it myself, it's one thing, but for your guy to do it for you, it's a reflection of how they feel about your body. If there's something embarrassing that they don't want to share with their friends or their family about your body. And this is her husband moving past the man who's supposed to love her

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

the most, are you obligated to. Do you really believe what you're saying?

[Host (Bert)]

I'm just throwing it out there. Moving past the fact that he did it, like, let's separate the two issues. We're gonna address the conversation.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

What I'm saying is it's not that he did it. It's his defensive reaction to it and not saying. Not apologizing for it and trying to fix It.

[Host (Bert)]

Okay, but let's address that in a second.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Okay.

[Host (Bert)]

Initially, why wouldn't you guys, if you were in her situation, just take your pictures down and let the better looking you live on the Internet?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Well, she might think the normal pictures are her.

She's fine with her body.

She doesn't have a problem with the way she looks.

You're assuming the better looking is the one he Photoshop.

She doesn't have a problem with the original pictures.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Melissa, welcome to the bird show. Sorry, go ahead, Melissa.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi. Now, I was saying, I know this is going to sound a little outrageous,

[Jennifer]

but what she should do is take a before and after photo of his

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

penis and do the same thing.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Oh, my Lord. Well, I don't know if you need

[Host (Bert)]

to go that far and Photoshop it. Hey, listen to Jennifer. She's laughing.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I do think posting a really bad picture of him on Facebook and being like, oh, what do you mean?

[Host (Bert)]

But he didn't post bad pictures.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Well, he posted something.

[Host (Bert)]

No, it's not. He posted good pictures.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Why are you defending him?

Have you done this right now? Her body looks fine.

[Host (Bert)]

Jennifer, do you think you look better in the pictures that he altered?

[Jennifer]

No, I am absolutely fine with my body and I'm offended that he isn't.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Maria, welcome to the bird show.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Me too.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, how are you?

[Jennifer]

Good, and you?

[Host (Bert)]

Good. What's going on?

[Jennifer]

I'm kind of on his side about it. I think if he would have put him on there normal, she would have been mad thinking she didn't like them.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

She fixed them.

[Jennifer]

She should be happy.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

No, she posted the original pictures, though. Like, she already posted them at the same time.

[Host (Bert)]

She wasn't embarrassed.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

She's not embarrassed of the original pictures at all.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, women have their hearts set on revenge. Hey, Kathy, welcome to the show.

[Jennifer]

Yes, thank you.

[Host (Bert)]

How are you?

[Jennifer]

I'm great. I think that she should Photoshop him

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

with a beer belly.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Yes, I think that's a great idea. Do it, do it, do it. Well, it's.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

But I mean, instead. But that's. That is embarrassing him in front of people or whatever. And the issue is that she's offended that he altered her to look, you know, like the way he wanted her to look rather than the way she looks. It's offensive. It's hurtful.

[Host (Bert)]

Well, I was.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

He put like his head on, like a model's body, like a Calvin Klein model's body in the same.

[Host (Bert)]

In the same vacation picture.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Jennifer, do you have any friends who could do Photoshop stuff?

[Jennifer]

Because we could maybe do But, I mean, the whole point was we're married, and I didn't think we were supposed to do that kind of stuff to each other.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

It's much more fun to talk about, though.

[Host (Bert)]

How have the conversations you've had with him so far gone?

[Jennifer]

Well, he just totally thinks that this is not a big deal and that he touched himself up, too, and that, you know, he made me look good and that I just really. I'm being totally ridiculous and self conscious and, you know, I mean, women's bodies were so sensitive and he knows I'm sensitive, and I just. I'm just embarrassed in front of my friends and family and, you know, I just really wish he would have apologized instead of just defending it and saying it wasn't a big deal.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

So which route are you going with, like, silent treatment right now or what?

[Jennifer]

Oh, totally. Yeah, absolutely.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

That's the route I would go in this situation, too, because you've already approached him about it. He didn't apologize, he defended himself. So what are you left to right?

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, silence.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Silent silence.

[Host (Bert)]

Did she address it on Facebook via status message or comments or anything?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

What are you gonna say?

[Host (Bert)]

I don't know.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I mean, I don't know.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I certainly wouldn't be cooking him dinner.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, I mean, if she needs to be giving him any, she needs to be thinned out. Anyways, in the picture, she might want to be considering having dinner.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

You're black.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Brandon, did you hear that? Hey, Christopher. Welcome to the bird show.

[Christopher]

Hey, how's it going?

[Host (Bert)]

What's going on?

[Christopher]

I was just gonna say my. My wife. I'm a professional graphic designer. I would never do that to my wife because that just creates a doubt in her mind that every time she looks at me, every single time, then it would just have this uneasiness where she would just think that I'm not satisfied with her or I'm not happy with her. And after a while, it'll just eat at her and eat at her. It'll just really. It can potentially really damage a relationship.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah, smart man.

[Host (Bert)]

Because you start to think that he's photoshopping you every time he looks at you in his mind.

[Christopher]

Well, mentally, it creates a fantasy. That's just not true. And for him, living a fantasy in your relationship is just not healthy.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Christopher, can we put you on hold and get your information? Because I have an idea. We may need to use your graphic design skills.

[Christopher]

Sure.

[Host (Bert)]

All right, hold on.

[Christopher]

Cool.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

What's your idea?

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Some sort of revenge?

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, Jennifer, I think we have to come up. I think you have to go after. You have to say something to your husband tonight. You have to insist that he takes them down and he apologizes to you and he removes them or something. We'll figure it out. If he doesn't, then I think you send us a picture of him and we send it to Christopher and have him manipulate it.

[Jennifer]

Done. Good idea.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Love it. She's on board.

[Host (Bert)]

So what do you need to get from him tonight in order for us to make this all go away? Just an apology. Do you want him to remove the pictures? Do you?

[Jennifer]

I want an apology, and I want him to remove the picture.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Agreed.

[Host (Bert)]

Does the apology have to be.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

It's a genuine apology, right? Yes.

[Jennifer]

That might include, I don't know, say, a gift.

[Host (Bert)]

Ha ha. So he doesn't have to. Does he have to publicly apologize, like on Facebook or just to you?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

No, no.

[Jennifer]

I don't want to make a bigger stink of this publicly than it already has become. You know, I just want him to tell me that he didn't mean it and that he likes me the way I look and, you know, get rid of them.

[Host (Bert)]

And you can't tell him that the reason you want the apology is because we're gonna torture him if he doesn't do it.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

No, because you don't tell him because you. She really kind of wants the torture, I think. And I doubt he's gonna give an authentic apology because if he was going to, he already would have. He doesn't feel bad about it.

[Host (Bert)]

I. I understand where he's coming from. I don't necessarily agree with it, but the photoshopped Jessica. Well, yeah, like I said, black. Black eyes and changing hair color and stuff.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

But you wouldn't dare make her skinnier and post him on Facebook.

[Host (Bert)]

Ah, make myself skinnier. I'm not gonna focus on her. Anybody's gonna look better in our vacation photo. It's gonna be me. Come on, Wendy.

[Lisa]

Jennifer.

[Host (Bert)]

So you approach him however you want tonight, but you have to join us again tomorrow and tell us how satisfied you are at his response. And if it's not satisfactory? If it's not satisfactory to you, then we will use our graphic designer resources and you can send us some pictures, and we'll brainstorm a way to Photoshop him.

[Jennifer]

All right, that's a deal.

[Host (Bert)]

All right, cool. Thanks, Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

Thank you.

[Host (Bert)]

Oh, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be fun.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I know. She's saying I'd be too.

[Host (Bert)]

It's gonna be the bird show.

[Bert]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, One minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Now hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications including the Wobi Pill and the Wobi Pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.comb for hers.com bird weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states, but go registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A S to get started and learn more, including important safety information with go clinical study information and restrictions. Visit for her.com hey guys, lady luck here.

[Lady Luck]

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[Host (Bert)]

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[Reporter Brian Johnson]

Refreshers contain caffeine. Get it?

[Host (Bert)]

The Bird Show. Hey Lisa. You know we don't have $1,000 for you, but we do have another. We do have another gift and that. Get in that. Yeah.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Her name.

[Host (Bert)]

Her name is Joanna.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi.

[Host (Bert)]

Because Joanna said that, you know, when she got engaged, she said that she would like to take advantage of the VIP access that being a member of the bird show gives you and she would like to stroll into Filene's basement hours before anyone else to select her perfect wedding gown at an incredibly cheap, you know, inexpensive price. Like a $9,000 wedding gown you could have for 5, 600 bucks.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Correct.

[Host (Bert)]

You know, there's discounts are up to 95% on designer dresses. And I, you know, I said this the other day. I'm pretty sure that I heard Jason in the background saying, who are you calling? As he was proposing. Because she was trying to get ahold of one of us to see how she can make that happen. So we said, you know what? Because we're a loving bunch and we're a family. We take care of each other. We said, joanna, we love you.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Very dysfunctional.

[Spinquest Announcer]

We will help you.

[Host (Bert)]

Yes, we will help you get into Filene's early, no problem. But we each get to pick one thing for you to do every day this week. And if you accomplish those tasks, then you're in.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I'm mad at myself for not realizing that that was gonna happen. That when I asked you if I could, that there wasn't gonna be some kind of repercussion.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

And you've been with us how long? Anything.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

You know.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I know, I know.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I'm still learning. I'm still new, and I'm figuring it out.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I'm just catching up this week. Cause it's my first day in this week and feeling better. What did you have to do the first couple days?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

So yesterday I had to post a picture of myself within the first 60 seconds of waking up in the morning before.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Which is really, really funny.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

It's a great picture.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Sorry.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I literally thought I was in a gang.

[Host (Bert)]

You look mad.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

You look mad like you're in a gang. Like, yo, what's up? Don't mess with me.

[Host (Bert)]

We all looked mad when we woke up and found the camera sitting at our nightstand and remembered why we were taking it.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Yeah, that was a while ago for

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

us, but they're still in the Google hemisphere, so.

[Christopher]

Shh.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Don't remind people of that, Wendell.

[Host (Bert)]

So I just reminded everybody the other day.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Blame me while I'm in Under the bus.

[Christopher]

Whatever.

[Host (Bert)]

So on Monday, we told Joanna that she had to take that picture. On Tuesday, she did it and she came in and it's as good looking as that picture can be.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Right? And we're only asking her to do things that we've done ourselves, so we're not asking her to do anything that we haven't done. And I think that a caller who still thinks on Wednesday that it is not daylight savings time. I think it's hilarious, and it's a great opening act for what you have to do today, which is true. Three minutes of original comedy, which is something that I had to do. You know, lost a bet and had to do that. So today is your day to shine as a comedian on stage.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

And mind you, I had to go straight to my other job after work yesterday. So I, you know, collaborated with some customers, and I figured I'd use that time to kind of use my kind of practice, my standup with customers at work yesterday.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

And you're a bartender?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yes, I'm a bartender.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Did they laugh?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I didn't make a lot of money yesterday. Oh, no.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

The more they drank, the funnier you were.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I was like, have another Jaeger bomb.

[Host (Bert)]

We'll work for jokes. No tips. Just need jokes.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Just jokes.

[Host (Bert)]

So. And here's. I'll tell you this, not to diminish your confidence or anything like that, but when the email first went out, you know, and I said, and then tomorrow, I said, tomorrow, Joanna's gonna do five minutes worth of comedy.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Five.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

That is three, right?

[Host (Bert)]

Tracy and Bert both responded with, I think five's really, really long. Cause I just. I made a mistake, typed the wrong number. Like, yeah, five is. Wait. Nobody will be listening at the end of five.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

That's their confidence in you.

[Host (Bert)]

I don't believe that.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

So can we cut it down to two?

[Host (Bert)]

No, three. All right, so are you ready?

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Yes.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

All right, who's gonna do the counter?

[Host (Bert)]

We should have made sure that Jamie at the Punchline was listening. What if he's hiring?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I'm telling you, Joanna, this could be the start of a new career.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

This is bad.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I have full confidence you're gonna do great.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Saturday Night Live is gonna be calling next.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

They already have.

[Host (Bert)]

So, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming out to the bird show this evening. I hope you're enjoying all your drinks and waiters and waitresses, don't forget to tip them in your opening act. Let's give it up for one more time. Good up for Lisa, who doesn't know when the time changes.

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Host (Bert)]

Ladies and gentlemen, taking the stage right now, it's Joanna Rodriguez, all the way from southern Mexico.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

So how's everybody doing today? I hope you're all doing well. Well, in case you didn't know, my name is Joanna Rodriguez. I'm from Uruguay. Uruguay is how we say it from where I'm from. For some of you don't know where Uruguay is. It's in South America, not in Mexico. It's not near Cancun or Cabo, as some people might think. Keep heading south. You might hit it eventually. Well, I grew up in Atlanta, even though my family is from South America, and it wasn't too bad living down here. And I don't look Hispanic. If you look at me, I don't look Spanish, which is great for me because I get a little insider as to what white people are saying about Hispanics, right? So I want to educate my Hispanic people out there, mis amigos, and let you know what white people are saying about you. First off, let's take the country flag off the back of your car because it's not car decoration, so let's go ahead and take it down. Secondly, Maria is a beautiful name, but not for every single daughter. Jesus or Jesus is not a good son name either. That was just so, you know. And most importantly, mommy and Papi is not a nickname for all of your family members. But in all seriousness, I loved growing up down here, and I love being able to reconnect with all my friends that I went to school with on Facebook. Facebook is awesome. I love finding out who's gotten married, who had kids, kids who went to jail. I just love catching up. However, I would appreciate it if you didn't do to me on Facebook things that you wouldn't normally do to me in person, right? So don't fart on me, don't poke me, and don't send me teddy bears. You wouldn't do that. You would not do that in person.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Okay? So.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

And speaking of good friends, my best friend sent me a picture, a text pic, right? And it was a picture of a bunch of plastic alligator heads. And I was like, where are you? How do you have pictures of plastic alligators or heads? Are you an alligator farm? She says, no, I'm at the gas station. So I'm realizing, have you noticed the random stuff that they sell in gas stations? When was the last time you went up to the gas attendant and said, can I get 30 on pump number two? A samurai sword, the snow globe, and two lottery tickets. Is it?

[Host (Bert)]

Three minutes, everybody.

[Jennifer]

Good job,

[Lady Luck]

Joanna.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

You did really?

[Host (Bert)]

That was good.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

That was really good.

[Jennifer]

I was so nervous.

[Host (Bert)]

Look at you.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

And that was like. That was. That was original material. Like, for sure original material. Good for you.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Well, I did.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

My girlfriend did help me out some. She was. She's really funny.

[Lady Luck]

I love her.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Her name's Jacqueline. I'm gonna give her a little shout out.

[Host (Bert)]

Nicely done. Good, Joanne.

[Jennifer]

Good job.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Great job.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Thanks.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

You're working your Way into filings. Early girl. You are working your way in.

[Host (Bert)]

All right, your mission number three will be assigned by Jen Hobby only. Cause we don't know if she'll be with us tomorrow.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

That's true. Like living, having a heartbeat.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Whatever lungs is on the floor, please don't step up.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Exactly.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Well, we are.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Joanna's the comedian.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I'm the funny one.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Shush. We all are. Your Bircho family, you know, we treat you like a sibling. You know, half the time, you love us, and half the time, you hate us. And that's just how it goes with family.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

It's not half and half. It's more like 80.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Right. Well, we've recruited your real family to help us with this next challenge.

[Jennifer]

Oh, no.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

You ready for this? Okay. You have two brothers.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yes.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

And your two brothers get to select two childhood photos of you that we get to share with the entire Burt show community.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Are you serious?

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Yes. So you're gonna call your brothers today, have them go through your mom's old photo albums of you as a kid, and they get to pick out the most embarrassing photos of Joanna and share them with.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Oh, no. This is gonna be terrible.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

And we solicited your siblings because we know your brothers. We've talked to them on the air before, and we know that they won't be kind.

[Jennifer]

No, they won't.

[Host (Bert)]

So, yeah. So you know those pictures that mom always likes to break out and show to, like, your boyfriends when they come over you at age 2, taking a bath in the kitchen sink or something like that? Yeah, yeah, that stuff.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Like your cheeky Halloween costume or something

[Host (Bert)]

when you find it, like, the worst

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

picture ever of you from high school.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

Oh, great.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Awesome.

[Host (Bert)]

So cool.

[Joanna Rodriguez]

I can't wait to start getting busier. No. Oh, thanks.

[Host (Bert)]

But that's. You know what? That's three or four. You've only got one more after that, so good job.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Host (Bert)]

You're on the Birch Show.

[Bert]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the next it's, no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why Weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications including the Wegovy Pill and the Wegovy Pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Weightless by hers is not available in all 50 states but go Registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s Get started and learn more including important safety information with govi clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borehurst.com hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Lisa]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] switch upfront payment

[Bert]

of 45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy.

[Lady Luck]

See terms.

[Host (Bert)]

Listen, it's the Bird show. To celebrate St. Patrick's Day, we have to go back into the Birch show archives.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Oh my God, this is great.

[Host (Bert)]

And we'll put the we'll find there that goes along with this. But I think it's from Alabama. Is that right?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I believe so. It was a local news story.

[Host (Bert)]

A news story in Alabama? Seriously? Somebody called. Somebody called the news station and said you gotta come out to my neighborhood because my neighbor has a leprechaun in his tree. And the news station covered it well, just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Crowds are coming by the dozens to get an up close view at what some say is a piece of Irish folklore. Some people in the Crichton area of Mobile say a leprechaun is taking up residence in their neighborhood.

[Lisa]

A leprechaun?

[Host (Bert)]

NBC15's Brian Johnson has more.

[Reporter Brian Johnson]

Curiosity leads to large crowds in Mobile's Crichton community. Many of you bringing binoculars, camcorders, even camera phones to take pictures.

[Host (Bert)]

To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. All you gotta do, look up in the tree. Who else seen the leprechaun say?

[Reporter Brian Johnson]

Yay. Eyewitnesses say the leprechaun only comes out at night. If you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears. This amateur sketch resembles what many of you say the leprechaun looks like. Others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image.

[Host (Bert)]

My theory is it's casting a shadow from the other limbs. They got hold to the wrong stuff and it told them to get up in a tree and play a leprechaun. Don't get down to the bottom of this. Yeah, still down there, guy.

[Christopher]

Don't be afraid.

[Host (Bert)]

Don't be afraid, man.

[Reporter Brian Johnson]

This guy helping to direct traffic says he's prepared for his encounter with the leprechaun. He's suited up from head to toe.

[Host (Bert)]

This war is all spells right here. This is a special leprechaun flute which has been passed down from thousands of years ago from my great, great grandfather who was Irish. I just came to help out.

[Reporter Brian Johnson]

Others just came to get lucky in hopes a pot of gold may be buried under this tree.

[Host (Bert)]

I'm gonna run a backhoe and uproot that tree. I want to know where to go. I want to go. Get me to go. I want to go.

[Reporter Brian Johnson]

This is Brian Johnson, NBC 15 News.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

That's what I'm gonna be saying at Fideau today.

[Host (Bert)]

Where the goal at? I gotta ask Tracy, but have we ever tried to track down that reporter Brian Johnson?

[Lisa]

I don't know.

[Host (Bert)]

Here, Birch show. Tracy is getting Jennifer on the line with us. Jennifer is the woman who joined us yesterday. Do we have a recap of Jennifer? Natalie? Jennifer joined us yesterday to tell us about a little issue she was having with her husband.

[Jennifer]

I'm really angry at my husband. We went to Hawaii two weeks ago, Right. And we get back and of course posted pictures on Facebook.

[Christopher]

Right.

[Jennifer]

But in his set, he photoshopped my body to look skinnier.

[Host (Bert)]

Oh, my God.

[Jennifer]

So now on people's walls, there are photos back to back of me where I'm clearly skinnier in his set.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Oh, my God. Did he tell you he was gonna do it?

[Jennifer]

No, he didn't, and it's totally embarrassing.

[Host (Bert)]

So Jennifer was on with us, telling us that story, and the end of that was that she was going to approach him last night. Right. And tell him that she was upset by it and say, look, unless you can fix it somehow, unless you give me a sincere apology, I'm going to have pictures of you Photoshopped. And we offered to use the radio station and the bird show and our resources. So we have some people who do graphic design. Is that graphic designer? Probably photo editors, whatever. We have some people who do stuff like that for us. And then we've had listeners called up and said, hey, we do this, so we'll help you. Hello, Jennifer.

[Jennifer]

Hi.

[Host (Bert)]

How are you?

[Jennifer]

I'm good, thank you.

[Host (Bert)]

So we left things yesterday with you. You were gonna have a summit, you were gonna sit down with your husband, you were gonna sort it all out, and you were gonna milk some big fancy gifts out of this or a vacation or something.

[Jennifer]

Yes, I did.

[Host (Bert)]

And how did it go?

[Jennifer]

It went well. You know, I did talk to him. I told him I felt really, really bad that this was about my body and it hurt my feelings. I even told him I went on the radio and talked about it.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Ooh, what is that?

[Host (Bert)]

I thought you weren't gonna do that.

[Jennifer]

No, no, I did.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I did use that as little ammo.

[Christopher]

Mm.

[Jennifer]

Exactly. And he's actually. As soon as he heard that, he said, fine, he'd take them down because people kind of know who he is, and he doesn't want to be embarrassed. Of course.

[Host (Bert)]

So did you give him the threat of Photoshopping the.

[Jennifer]

I didn't go as far as that, but I did tell him that, you know, I had spoken openly about it on the radio and that, you know, I really felt I deserved an apology, and people seemed to agree.

[Host (Bert)]

So are the pictures at this point down?

[Jennifer]

Oh, they're down.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

And did you get your apology?

[Jennifer]

I got my apology, and I'm getting a bracelet this weekend.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

So you got your apology and jewelry and the pictures are down?

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

See, the only thing with the jewelry part of it, like, when it comes from a mistake, Won't you be reminded of this incident every time you put on that bracelet?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

That's a good point.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

I would be.

[Jennifer]

I don't think so. I really like jewelry.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

You don't get over it real quick, but you know what I'm saying. Like, when people get. Like when men and women give those Forgiveness gifts, or what are they called? There's some word for them.

[Host (Bert)]

Remember when I think it's a Kobe Bryant gift.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Now, yeah, now it's called, like a Kobe gift. But when he gave his wife that ring or whatever, I'm like, every time you look at that, you're gonna be thinking of the reason why he had to give it to you.

[Host (Bert)]

Now, you know what? When you said it. So matter of. This is gonna go in a different direction, but I guess that's okay. Cause this is sort of. This has wrapped itself up in a nice little bow, but it's gonna take us in a different direction.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Okay.

[Host (Bert)]

Are there. And I'm not gonna. If there's somebody in this room, I'm not gonna judge you.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah, you will.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, you're right. But is there situations where women will manipulate their man into getting them jewelry? Like, at what point did you decide, Jennifer, that you were gonna cash in for that bracelet?

[Jennifer]

Well, I mean, it was really more about. He asked me if there was anything he could do to make up, and I kind of felt like there was.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

You're like, well, in fact, now, why

[Host (Bert)]

didn't you simply say, you know what? Your apology and the removal of the pictures is enough?

[Jennifer]

Well, I guess I just figured, you know, he had embarrassed me and. Yeah, I guess I could get something out of it.

[Host (Bert)]

Pain and suffering.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Pain and suffering.

[Host (Bert)]

What's it called?

[Jennifer]

Exactly.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, yeah. Punitive damages.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yes.

[Host (Bert)]

Right now we're in law and order. All right, Jennifer, congratulations on your bracelet.

[Jennifer]

Thank you.

[Host (Bert)]

And our Telephone number is 404741. Q100. The what we want to do. What I would like to do is have women. We'll voice disguise you. You don't have to use your real name. But what did you.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

How did you manipulate.

[Host (Bert)]

What did you squeeze out of your man? Intention. Like, maybe you made. You know what? What if these pictures weren't that big of a deal to Jennifer? But then she saw, because she was cool about it yesterday, she's cool about it today, but she saw the direction that conversation was going in, and she saw the opportunity. I can cash in on this.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

She got a green light.

[Host (Bert)]

404-741. Q100. Women, now is your chance to brag. What did you manipulate out of your man in terms of an apology gift or I'm so hurt gift? I feel so bad. You screwed up. Give me, give me, give me.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Right.

[Host (Bert)]

The bird show.

[Bert]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad, and then the Next, it's no, actually, carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit fourhers.com Bert to get personalized affordable care that gets you that's F O-R-H-E-R-S.com Bert for hers.com Bert weightlifts by hers is not available in all 50 states, but Go VI is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk. A s get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi, clinical study information and restrictions. Visit borhearst.com hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Spinquest Announcer]

Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Mom, can you tell me a story?

[Lisa]

Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car.

[Host (Bert)]

Was she brave?

[Lisa]

She was tired mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Did you have to fight a dragon?

[Lisa]

Nope. She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Was it scary?

[Lisa]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Lisa]

It did actually.

[Bert]

Okay, good story.

[Lisa]

Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.

[Host (Bert)]

This is the Burt Show Wendy told you in the past. Couple entertainment buzzes and it's even sad that this is an entertainment news story.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I know, it's just disgusting about this

[Host (Bert)]

Riel, what's her last name?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

John Hunter.

[Host (Bert)]

Hunter. Riel Hunter woman, the other woman. She is the other woman in John Edwards marriage. John Edwards is the politician who he

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

ran for president and of course his wife, Elizabeth Edwards battling cancer. And they've been in the news because Riel Hunter had a child. And John Edwards denied that that was his child and then finally came forward and said, yes, it is my child. And then GQ magazine did an interview with Rael Hunter and it came out yesterday. And God, what a witch.

[Host (Bert)]

One of the things and what we want to focus on here in our Telephone number is 404741. But one of the things that Rey Hunter said in the interview is that in order to hide their relationship and in order to hide their affair, she real purchased for John Edwards a cell phone that is identical to the one he normally carries. So there's two identical cell phones. She would be the only one to contact him on one number. And then the other, you know, all his other running for president business, his wife, everybody else would contact him on that. That's what they used to hide their affair. If I remember correctly, Tiger woods did something similar.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Did he?

[Host (Bert)]

I think, yeah, I think. Didn't he have the names stored under different names in his phone? I think so, yes.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

But then eland, didn't she go through all the numbers and just basically call all the numbers that he had been texting?

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah. Our Telephone number is 404-741-Q100. And if you have experience in this area as a public service to other couples, what should people be looking for in order to bust their partner having an affair?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah, like for the people like Elizabeth Edwards, what should she have been looking for in order to see what was going on?

[Host (Bert)]

I think one of the first calls that we'll probably get because I think I remember us getting it before. But if you look at, if you use your partner's phone for some reason and there's zero messages in there, like all the old calls, if there's a weird habit of deleting, like I can't remember the last time that I deleted a something from my phone, like a phone number, you know, like I'll delete text messages and stuff. As I read it, I do just

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

text messages just because it's. My text messages are almost like a to do list.

[Host (Bert)]

Right.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I mean like. And once I've responded or whatever, I just go ahead and delete it.

[Host (Bert)]

So but to go in there and delete like a called number or something, like I would never do that.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

No, My call history and stuff.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

No.

[Host (Bert)]

Voice disguiser for Linda. Hey, Linda, how are you?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Fine.

[Host (Bert)]

What's going on?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I would make a separate email account, like a separate address, like on Yahoo or Hotmail. Something that my husband wouldn't know.

[Host (Bert)]

I remember that. You know, that's easy. Seems obvious. One of the first steps.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

But, Bert, how do you bust the other email address, though? You know what I mean? Like, how would you look for it?

The history on computers, though? So you go through that. Or there's like, spyware programs you can put on computers now. Passwords.

[Host (Bert)]

I remember. I think it was Bert who either read something or knows somebody who did this. But you know the blogging platforms like WordPress and Blogger and all that.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

The couple who is having the affair created a blog that they never published.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

And it was drafts. And they would do drafts. They could each go into the account and see the drafts.

[Host (Bert)]

So if I'm having a relationship with Melissa and we don't want anyone to know about it.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Shh.

[Host (Bert)]

Don't tell anybody. Which wouldn't happen because if I'm having a relationship with Melissa, I'm taking ads out. But then what would happen is Melissa and I would each would create a blog, and instead of emailing each other, we would just go in and update the blog back and forth and then

[Bert]

delete the last draft.

[Host (Bert)]

And who's going to look for that?

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Right.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, Megan. Also in the voice disguiser.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah. A major thing they need to watch out for is the best friend that they've never heard of. For instance, I'm going to Ann's house on Friday, and I'm staying the night. And then you end up staying with Ann on Saturday. And then the next Thursday, you stay with Ann, and the next Friday you stay with Ann, and. And they've never met Ann, and Ann is actually the other man that you're cheating on them with.

So you create a whole new friend to cover for the boyfriend.

Have you done that?

Yes.

I assume her name was Ann.

Yeah, his name was Ann.

[Host (Bert)]

And how did you end up getting busted?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I ended up busting myself. The relationship with, quote, unquote, Ann developed into something much more the relationship I was in. So I just came clean and got out. But he had no idea what was going on? None whatsoever.

Wow.

[Host (Bert)]

I find it interesting that all the calls we're getting are from women.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hey, Liza, guys aren't gonna call themselves out, and you all have this weird guy code crap.

[Host (Bert)]

And plus, guys don't think of anything.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

They can't hide they're not very good at it.

[Host (Bert)]

Hey, I'm gonna call you Mel instead of Melissa. Hey, Liza. What's going on?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi. So my husband, he. When we first got married, we still had a thing with his ex girlfriend and had her under a fake name in his phone and was texting her, and I saw it because it was a guy's name, and he was, like, texting this guy, I love you, so. But it ended up being his ex girlfriend. And then recently, I found out he had checked his email on my computer when we were on vacation and left it up. And then when I went to go use my computer, I found all these emails from the last year of our marriage that, you know, they've been having this thing. He just forgetfully. Forgetfully left his email up on my laptop.

[Host (Bert)]

You seem oddly in a good mood for someone who busted their husband cheating fairly recently.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I'm an extremely peppy person.

Ooh, that was a crazy laugh.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, you say peppy, I hear crazy, right? Are you guys still together?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

We are getting divorced.

Okay.

[Host (Bert)]

Are you guys still living together?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yes. I'm about to move out.

[Host (Bert)]

Okay. So is there any chance he can recover from this, or is he done?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

We're just holding on to the friendship we have. I don't think I can. A year is a long time to be cheating on somebody.

Oh, God.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I couldn't put up with that.

[Host (Bert)]

You're a better person than I am.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Oh, yeah. I would have been that a long time ago.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah. If I'm in a relationship with somebody and they're cheating on me for a year, there are no friendship left to hold on to.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

No.

Yeah, yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

She's puppy Jeff.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I'm a son, so.

[Host (Bert)]

Okay, that makes sense. All right, thanks for the call, Liza.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Have a nice day.

[Host (Bert)]

Yeah, me too.

[Jennifer]

Wow.

[Host (Bert)]

Definitely gonna kill him. Hey, Linda. Welcome to the show.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi.

[Host (Bert)]

What's going on?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

My ex wasn't that clever, but it fooled me for quite a while. He just used people that he actually worked with, and it would come up Jeff so and so. And he'd say, oh, it's a work call. I gotta go take it.

Mm, I bet that's common.

[Host (Bert)]

Were they. Were they legitimate work people?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah, it was a legitimate work person, but it wasn't that person. He would have. Jeff would be actually the work person, But Jeff T. Was his girlfriend.

[Host (Bert)]

See, the thing that would. That I would be worried about with that is, like, let's say that I did that. I'm like, oh, it's Wendy calling. I gotta go take the call. Right. And then so I go out and have the conversation. I come back, and I was like, oh, yeah, she's. Can't do traffic tomorrow and just wanted to let me know.

[Christopher]

Mm.

[Host (Bert)]

So then next time, well, she comes

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

on and does traffic the next morning.

[Host (Bert)]

Jessica's like, or what if they run into each other? Like, oh, yeah, the other night when you called Jeff to ask him about the Whatever. And Wendy's like, what? The other night, I wasn't. I was in Texas visiting my family. What are you talking about? Like, guys are dumb. Hey, Shania.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi. How are you?

[Host (Bert)]

What's going on?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Good.

I just want to let you know, I dated my ex for 15 months, and of those months, he cheated on me for seven of those.

[Host (Bert)]

Okay.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

And he used a cell phone, and he took it everywhere with him. He never let it out of his sight. He was always texting, texting, texting on it, and he wouldn't tell me who was texting.

[Christopher]

And.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

And I'm a very trusting person, so I just kind of believed him that I was his guy friend. And it ended up being this girl that we worked with. So I would say if he's not letting you go through his phone. I mean, not go through his phone, but if he's not letting his phone out of his sight, it's probably a red flag.

Yeah. If they don't put their phone down even on the dresser, then that's a big clue.

[Host (Bert)]

I did have a weird experience when I was around someone fairly recently, around acquaintances. We were all sitting at a table, and the wife asked the husband to use his phone, and he said she couldn't use it because he was waiting for an important call, and she ended up having to use my phone to call. Like, she had left. She wanted to call and check her voicemail, and she didn't have her phone. She had left her phone at home. Her battery died or something, and people were coming to meet them or something,

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

because even if you're checking something, the phone will come through, and you say, oh, well, here.

[Host (Bert)]

Right. You ever heard a call waiting?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Right.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Oh.

[Host (Bert)]

And so when he didn't give her the phone, I was like, there's something weird red flag. Something shady, definitely. Hey, Taylor. Welcome to the bird show.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Hi.

[Host (Bert)]

What's going on?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

I have a friend that is having an affair right now. They work together, and the way that they hide it from everybody is the guy that she's having an affair with has a P.O.

[Jennifer]

box. Okay.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

So all of his credit card bills that they use together and his other cell phone bills go to the P.O. box. So the wife never gets any of the mail to show that he's got a second cell phone.

[Host (Bert)]

Now, how. How do you know about this?

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Because I'm the really good friend to the guy. No, no, no, the girl.

[Christopher]

Oh, you're.

[Host (Bert)]

No, she's the friend of the girl that the guy has the relationship with.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah.

You're the other woman.

[Host (Bert)]

No, she's friends with the other woman.

[Caller (Male Perspective)]

Oh.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Yeah. Okay, so it's very sneaky. And it's surprising how they can come up with ways to cover their tracks.

Well, I mean, you know. Yeah. The P.O. box thing. If she doesn't know about it. Yeah. And if there's no bills coming to the house and she is not aware that the PO Boxer doesn't have access to it, that. Yeah.

[Host (Bert)]

The good thing that women you have going for you, at least with guys, is guys will slip up. Guys are one, not super bright and two, kind of lazy. So something will happen eventually. For the most part. John Edwards did it. He screwed up.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Yeah. I just don't know if I'd help

a friend out in that situation.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Caller (Female Perspective)]

Like you.

That you should feel better. You're the good friend of the mistress.

[Host (Bert)]

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