Full Show PT 2: Thursday, June 18 [Vault]

Summary

The Bert Show

Full Show PT 2: Thursday, June 18 [Vault]
June 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode features a dynamic mix of heartfelt listener stories, lively debates, and quintessential Bert Show humor. The main threads revolve around a charitable weight-loss challenge supporting Bert’s Big Adventure, a contentious call-in about wedding drama and moral judgments, and a hilarious segment on “the worst kisses ever.” Hosts Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the gang deliver their signature blend of authenticity, laughs, and unfiltered discussion, taking listeners on a rollercoaster of emotion and entertainment.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Weight-Loss Challenge for Charity

[01:30–18:04]

Initiative Details

• Matthew Dwyer from HealthyTrim.com joins to discuss a major offer for Bert’s Big Adventure (a nonprofit sending kids with chronic illnesses to Disney).
  • For every pound lost by 10 selected contestants over 90 days, $50 per pound will be donated to the cause.
  • The goal: Become the largest single contributor, with a target of over $60,000.

Selection Process & Contestants

• Overwhelming response: 868 entries in 48 hours (02:42).
• Motivation: Many applicants cited deeply personal and emotional reasons for participating.

Contestant Highlights

• Jeremiah McClary
  • Height/weight: 6'2", 485.5 lbs
  • Motivation: Former Georgia Tech football player wants to return to "college skinny" for his 20-year championship reunion.
  • "Once I stepped on and saw the 485, I really know that there has to be a change. So I'm going to deliver big time." – Jeremiah (05:18)
  • Emotional support from friends and listeners pours in.
• Kristen
  • Height/weight: 5'3", 313 lbs
  • Motivation: Lost her father, promised him she’d get healthy. Has already lost 33 lbs, but seeks a bigger push.
  • "The day that he died and they pulled him off the ventilator, I made a promise to him. I said, I'll do this, I'll get healthy, I'll lose the weight." – Kristen (11:07)
• Others face body image issues, relationship heartbreak, or fear their health choices will affect their children.

Community Involvement

• Every bottle of Healthy Trim purchased in Georgia within 48 hours means $5 more goes to charity (13:28).
• Videos and updates of each participant to be posted online.

Memorable Quotes

• "I don't think that there can be a better motivator...losing the weight for charity...is actually more of a motivator than getting the cash yourself." – Bert Show Host (03:10)
• “If you’re not working out, you are taking my bad away from these kids. You’re ripping these kids’ dreams apart.” – Panelist [joking] (03:41)
• “She can’t contribute financially, so she’s actually paying for some of the trip by losing weight.” – On participant Rebecca Sullins (19:23)

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2. Wedding Drama: “Should I Boot My Best Friend?”

[21:53–34:52]

Listener Call-in: Gloria’s Dilemma

• Gloria wants to "gently" force her very close friend out of her bridal party because the friend will be 8 months pregnant—and unmarried—at the time of the wedding.
• Gloria expresses strong moral objections to out-of-wedlock pregnancy, not just aesthetic concerns for wedding photos.
• "It's not the vanity of the pictures...it's the statement that she's making." – Gloria (23:12)
• She plans to create an intentionally impossible set of bridesmaid demands to nudge her friend to drop out.

Panel & Caller Reactions

• Hosts and callers overwhelmingly push back on Gloria’s stance, calling her judgmental, unsupportive, and hypocritical.
• "I think you should let her go and let her find a better best friend." – Panelist/Commentator (27:54)
• "You may be the most self centered person we have ever had on the show." – Bert Show Host (29:45)
• One or two callers agree "in principle" about having “morals” but insist she should be honest, not deceptive.

Notable Exchanges

• "So you're a virgin on your wedding day?" – Panelist, poking at Gloria's self-professed values (30:00)
• "Tell her the truth. You're judging her and you're talking so disrespectfully to her behind her back. Tell her the truth to her face." – Panelist (34:36)
• “I absolutely love her...but I just don’t agree with her thinking that getting knocked up...It’s not a movie with Katherine Heigl.” – Gloria (24:00)

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3. The Worst Kisses Ever

[36:57–46:30]

Segment Flow

• Listeners and hosts recount their most disastrous makeout moments—equal parts cringe and comedy.
• The goal: Help any "bad kissers" in the audience recognize themselves and improve.

Memorable Moments

• "My entire face was dripping in spit." – Caller (40:31)
• "He tried to suck my entire face into his mouth...it was like he was checking my teeth for fillings with his tongue." – Caller Megan (41:26)
• Tongues described as "dead slugs," over-aggressive "face swallowers," and the infamous "lizard" (darting tongue) technique.
• "Seriously...don't come at me like you're eating a burger." – Panelist (40:07)
• Hygiene tales: a goatee filled with mustard from a hot dog discovered mid-kiss (44:36).

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4. News Oddity: The First Legal Male Prostitute

[48:20–52:31]

Story Outline

• Feature on Marcus Bastin, the first and only legal male prostitute in Nevada.
• Marcus claims his work is akin to “resetting social norms” like Rosa Parks or Gandhi (groans all around).
• "I'm basically doing what Rosa Parks did when she decided to sit up front on the bus instead of the back." – Marcus (49:35)
• He admits he has only been with three women, and had failed at being a porn star.

Hosts’ Take

• Laughter and skepticism abound as hosts react to Marcus’ honesty and his analogies.
• "If all those women were calling up and saying, yeah, this guy, this guy, this guy, then I would believe it. But a guy bragging about his own ability—you don't really know, like, she knows." – Panelist (53:35)

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5. Sex & Skill: Can You Tell if You're “Good”?

[52:33–59:00]

Listener Jake Calls In

• Argues that talent in sex, like in baseball, is partly innate.
• One clear measure—do partners keep calling you back? (57:53)
• Discussion about whether people "know" if they're good, or if everyone just thinks so.

Female Panelists' Views

• Caution against bragging—reputation matters, self-praise less so.

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Notable Quotes

• “You’re ripping these kids’ dreams apart.” – Panelist, on slacking in a charity challenge (03:41)
• “You may be the most self centered person we have ever had on the show.” – Bert Show Host, to Gloria (29:45)
• “Tell her the truth. You’re judging her and you’re talking so disrespectfully to her behind her back. Tell her the truth to her face.” – Panelist (34:36)
• "My entire face was dripping in spit." – Caller, on bad kissing (40:31)
• "I'm basically doing what Rosa Parks did when she decided to sit up front on the bus instead of the back." – Marcus Bastin (49:35)
• “If she comes back, you’re good.” – Panelist, on sex skill (57:53)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Weight-Loss Charity Challenge: 01:30–18:04
• Wedding Judgments Call-In: 21:53–34:52
• Worst Kisses Segment: 36:57–46:30
• Male Prostitute News Feature: 48:20–52:31
• Sex & Skill Discussion: 52:33–59:00

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode blends heartfelt community stories with plenty of sharp humor and candid, sometimes fiery, debates. The hosts' realness, coupled with a willingness to challenge guests and each other, keeps things lively and authentic. There are touching inspirational moments as well as wild, laugh-out-loud anecdotes—classic Bert Show entertainment.

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Useful for both longtime listeners and those dropping in for the first time, this episode captures The Bert Show’s trademark mix of empathy, irreverence, and openness about life’s messiest moments.

Transcript

[Hers Weight Loss Advertiser]

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[Burt Show Host]

Hey, the Burt Show. All right, so let's rewind back here a couple of weeks when Matthew Dwyer from Healthy Trim was on the Burt show and he made a very, very, very generous offer to Burt's Big Adventure at that time. Matthew, what offer did you make to Burt show listeners at that point?

[Matthew Dwyer]

Well, Jeff got me up to $50 a pound. So everybody, that for every pound lost for the 90 days of of the 10 Burt's Big Adventure contestants, HealthyTrim.com is going to donate $50 a pound.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

And that's big right there. So we asked you guys to send in emails if you've been struggling with losing weight and you think you've Tried everything. Matthew said, look, I'll put you on Healthy Trim, get you trainer, and for 90 days, you lose as much weight as you can. And as he said, I mean, $50 for every pound of weight loss for 10 people, that potentially could be a whole heck of a lot of money for Burt's Big Adventure.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Well, the goal is to get to be the largest contributor. So we got to get over 60,000. So I might have an extra surprise after we talk to these contestants here.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. So the response to this was really overwhelming. Almost 1000.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yes. Almost 868 entries.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wow.

[Matthew Dwyer]

In 48 hours.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, my gosh.

[Matthew Dwyer]

And 1300 other people bought healthy trim in two days as well, on top of that. So, yeah, 868 entries in 48 hours. So everybody really wants to get healthy. Everybody, it seems, is really big into Burt's Big Adventure. Everybody I talked to here before coming in here, they're all. They all seem really, really fired up. They all want to help, and they want to get. They want to get in shape as well.

[Burt Show Host]

I don't think that there can be a better motivator, like, if we put some kind of, like, grand prize together for somebody that lost the most weight. I think losing the weight for charity to go to Burt's Big Adventure is actually more of a motivator than getting the cash yourself.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Because you can deny yourself. You can go, ah, I don't really need that grand prize. I don't want to go to the gym today or, you know, I can eat bad today or whatever. If it's for yourself. But, I mean, you're taking that. You're taking money away from kids.

[Burt Show Host]

Right.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Doing it for the kids, man.

If you're not working out, you are

taking my bad away from these kids. You're ripping these kids dreams apart.

[Burt Show Host]

But that's okay. But that's all right.

[Panelist/Commentator]

No pressure.

[Caller/Listener]

No pressure.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Enjoy that burger I gave them all.

[Burt Show Host]

Burt's Big Adventure has a magazine now, and I was sure to give each and every one of them a magazine this morning when they came in. And I said, when you guys are teetering, no pressure. When you don't want to call Matthew or when you don't want to take Healthy Trim, go ahead and you just open that thing up to, like, page 14 and say, okay, well, that kid wouldn't be going to Disney World.

[Panelist/Commentator]

You can put that on the treadmill while you're on it.

[Burt Show Host]

Right, right. So it was very difficult for Healthy Trim to select just 10. I mean, when you're looking at 860, whatever it was, emails. It is very difficult to weed it down to just 10. But let me give you some highlights of the 10 Burt's Big Adventure participants that are gonna be losing weight. And all this money is going to Burt's Big Adventure. Okay, we're gonna talk to Jeremiah McClary here in a second and. And they're putting videos up online and their stories are gonna be detailed online also, right?

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yes.

[Burt Show Host]

And their height and weight will be online. Yep. Okay, so I'm not saying anything here that you won't be able to read online. Jeremiah is 6:2. He is 455 pounds. His 20 year reunion of the 1990 National Championship is this summer. And Georgia Tech will have several programs in their honor. He wants to go there. He says college skinny.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Actually, he's 485.5 pounds. We had a little adjustment this morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Did you lie?

[Matthew Dwyer]

He just didn't know.

[Burt Show Host]

You didn't know?

[Jeremiah McClary]

Actually, this morning it's been shocking, shocking off for me. I didn't know, you know, I was weighing on another scale and I guess it was inaccurate because once I stepped on and saw the 485, I really know that there has to be a change. So I'm going to deliver big time.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, right.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I know you're being sweet and everything, but you really can give Bird a hard time about being on the Georgia Tech national championship team. Just saying. Just read it. Because I noticed how you put those words apart from each other in your description.

[Burt Show Host]

I'm just saying, well, Georgia has won and it hasn't been recently.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Yeah, that would have been the olden days.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

So we had one more recently.

[Burt Show Host]

So, like, this must have been difficult for you because I'm assuming a guy your size and you've been an athlete your whole life, that you've been sort of trained to eat, to be big on a football field. So how do you just turn that off?

[Jeremiah McClary]

You know, and that's one of the challenges for former athletes, is really hard to turn that switch off. Because every day is around, even in training and you know, and once you're no longer playing is around eating, you're no longer training. And so if you continue to consume those calories and not burning them off, you get up to 485, which is one of the things that I've done.

[Burt Show Host]

At what point did you say to yourself, like, when did it start to get uncomfortable? You're like, I got to do something about this.

[Jeremiah McClary]

It was about a year ago. I actually started. I guess I'm one of Those people that do the yo yo thing. But I finally made the determination after listening to your show that, hey, I'm going to write in and see if they select me. But honestly, guys, I'm embarrassed now because the book that you passed out, those kids didn't have a choice, you know, and what they're going through, you know, I could fix this if I get out, get outside, get off the sofa. So I'm going to fix it. I have a choice.

[Burt Show Host]

I know you will. I know you will. I mean, we were looking for the people that have the most motivation, and we're looking at Jeremiah.

[Matthew Dwyer]

10 grand right here, where he's going to lose 200 pounds. 90 days, where I'm going to work out with you like crazy, where you change your life. You're going to 10 grand right there.

[Burt Show Host]

Are you scared of that figure? I mean, he's throwing out a hefty number and 90.

[Jeremiah McClary]

I mean, I accept the challenge. I mean, 485, that's ridiculous. I mean, I know a lot of the former athletes from Georgia Tech are listening to this, and they're probably laughing, you know, 485, you know, it used to be a challenge. No one wants to be four bills, which we talk and bills. £100. So I'm almost five bills, and I can't go. I can't go that high.

[Burt Show Host]

Right. It's just not safe. All right, so Jeremiah is contestant number one. Thanks a lot for doing.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Thank you for having me.

[Panelist/Commentator]

How tall are you, Jeremiah?

[Jeremiah McClary]

Six, two.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Tracy was struggling, holding that microphone out

[Caller/Listener]

there,

her shoulders numb.

[Burt Show Host]

Easton Randall is 24 years old, 5 11, 320 pounds. Worst moment of his life was being told by the girl of his dreams. Told him she would never be caught dead dating a guy as fat as him. She said if. Or if he wanted any kind of chance with her, she said he needed to lose weight. She said he was an amazing person and wished she could date me, but not while he was fat.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, man.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, so he's 24 years old, 5 11, 320.

[Matthew Dwyer]

He's fired up. I talked to him this morning. He's fired up.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, he's excited about it.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Very.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

And again, we really. We needed to find people that were really motivated. I mean, we've. We've got a trip to plan for. Matt Mitchell, 31, 5, 9, 300 pounds. When he goes out with his wife, people still hit on her and question why she's with him. Some even ignore him or assume he's her dad. So he wants to put an End to that. So Matt Mitchell, 31, 5 9, £300. We'll talk to Kristen in a second. April Harris is 30 years old. She is 5 5. She is 298 pounds. Fiance didn't have confidence in her losing the weight so he left her. She was devastated and put more weight on. So she's at 298 right now. That's her motivation. Holly Shoots is 54, she's five two, she's 250 pounds. She says in the 70s when she was in college, there were no plus size clothes so she had to buy male clothes and make them look feminine. She wants to finally be able to shop in department store, but needs a jump start. She's gonna use Burt's Big Adventure and Healthy Trim for that. Shanita Willis is 29 years old, she's 5 2, she's 270 pounds. She says she had a difficult time finding a picture because she refuses to take pictures of herself with full body.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. She's. She turns 30 in September, wants to stand tall and be in a picture looking hot. And then there is Alicia Skeen, who's 43 years old, she's 5 7, she weighs 400 pounds. She is a mother of an 8 year old and a 16 month old and fear she's not going to be around to see her daughters grow up and doesn't want to be a bad role model for them. So Those are the 10 that are going to be working for Burt's Big Adventure and Healthy Trim. So you can see that there's plenty of motivation there.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Definitely.

[Burt Show Host]

And there's Kristen here also. She's five'3, 313 pounds. And Kristen, what was your motivation?

[Kristen]

My dad passed away last April and two weeks before he died he sat me down and he didn't know he going to die, but he just said, I want you to be thin. I want to live long enough to see you get skinny. He said what every dad says to their daughter. You're beautiful, you can do this. He went in for a biopsy, pardon me. And got put on a ventilator and never came off. They did, they found out that he was in the final stages of lung disease. And so the day that he died and they pulled him off the ventilator, I made a promise to him. I said, I'll do this, I'll get healthy, I'll lose the weight. Since then I've lost £33.

[Caller/Listener]

Great.

[Kristen]

So, but this, I need a jump start. I need something that's gonna push me over and Help me do this. So I feel like that Healthy Trim and Robert's Big Adventure will do that.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yeah, she's already feeling effects after two days.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, you've been on Healthy Trim for two days now? Okay, great.

[Panelist/Commentator]

What. What does it feel like?

[Kristen]

The first thing that I was completely shocked about was that I don't feel jittery, and I am or was one of the people that drank like, 10 Cokes a day, and I didn't get a caffeine headache at all. And so that was really, really shocking.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So you cut out the Cokes?

[Kristen]

I did. No caffeine at all. All I drank was water. And so I have the energy. Like, when I get home, I don't want to go, oh, you know, like crash.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Was your appetite suppressed the first day?

[Kristen]

Absolutely. Absolutely. I still ate. You know, it didn't make me not want to eat at all. But the less food decisions I have to make, the better I.

[Matthew Dwyer]

It gives you portion control without having to count the calories and count the meals.

[Kristen]

Absolutely.

[Burt Show Host]

So one thing we noticed also when we started taking emails is that there were so many that emailed and said, look, the chances of me getting selected for this are very, very small. So how can I somehow still get involved with Burt's Big Adventure? Because they were gonna buy a healthy Trim either way. So Matthew came up with an idea.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yeah, I got an email from Jeff, and I don't know what happened a few weeks ago when I was on the air, but something must have. Click. Stacy started taking Healthy Trim a few weeks ago. She lost £4 the first week, and now she's loving Healthy Trim. Listen, everybody out there needs the energy. Everybody wants to get healthy. So, yeah, I want to have a way to participate so everybody can participate in adding to Burt's Big Adventure just to ensure that HealthyTrim.com can be the largest contributor to Burt's Big Adventure. Everybody that buys Healthy Trim today and tomorrow, every person. Last time I was here at 1300 people buy in two days. Every person between now and tomorrow night at midnight that buys Healthy Trim. We're going to donate another $5 for every person that buys Healthy Trim.

[Burt Show Host]

So that potentially could be big money right there also. So you could either go to our website and we'll link on over to Healthy Trim, or you can go right over to Healthy Trim.

[Matthew Dwyer]

You go right over to Healthy Trim, or you can call 404-602-5600. We're right here, Atlanta. 404-602-5600. Don't freak out. It's everybody that buys. Your wattage is so huge, it reaches all the way down to Augusta. Everybody in Georgia. That buys everybody $5 per person to Healthy to Burt's Big Adventure.

[Burt Show Host]

When you go to Healthy Trim, you'll actually see the Burt's Big Adventure logo in the top right side of their website. You'll be able to click on that and it'll take you right to the buy right there.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Gotta feel good about that.

[Caller/Listener]

Awesome.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Very generous.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Damiana. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning, Burt Show. Good morning.

I've been a fan for years and

I'm sitting here listening and I recognize

the very first contestant and I'm screaming in my car, is Jeremiah still in there?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Jerry is.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes.

Jeremiah, this is Damiana.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Hi, Dee.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, sweetheart. I am so happy for you. I am cheering for you.

I've known Jeremiah for years. We used to work together in Columbus, Georgia. And Jeremiah, I am so. Because, remember, I just ran into you a few months ago at JR Crickets.

I am happy. I'm cheering you on and I know

you can do it. You can do this. I love you, Jeremiah.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Thanks. Love you. I'm going to do it for the kids and most of all for myself.

[Caller/Listener]

Absolutely, absolutely.

[Burt Show Host]

Thanks for calling.

[Matthew Dwyer]

And I'm going to stay on him. He's going to do it. We're going to change his life. It's going to be great.

[Burt Show Host]

You got a bunch of fans, dude. Hey, Alicia, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

How are you? Hey, Jeremiah. Long time no see. Went to Tech with you and I need to tell you I'm extremely proud of you. And I think this is wonderful because,

you know, you and Bug and Joe

were always the best football players we had.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Thank you.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I like Bug already.

[Caller/Listener]

You guys were a lot of fun. And you came to the pub that

I worked at, so.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, apparently he came quite a bit.

[Caller/Listener]

No, actually, Jeremiah was very, very fit. And he's gonna look like that again,

[Jeremiah McClary]

and that's my goal.

[Burt Show Host]

When you were playing at Georgia Tech, how much did you weigh?

[Caller/Listener]

You know, he was always. Because he played football. But I would approximate he weighed right around 2. 210.

[Burt Show Host]

Are you 210 at Georgia Tech?

[Jeremiah McClary]

No, I was around 285, but I carried it.

[Caller/Guest]

Well.

[Caller/Listener]

You did not look that big.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Well, I don't look like 485 now, but so I was truly surprised.

[Matthew Dwyer]

285, that's 200 pounds. That's $10,000. We're gonna get you down 200.

[Burt Show Host]

That's good motivation right there. Hey, Joanna, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, I've got questions. That Healthy Trim, can you get that stuff at GNC?

[Matthew Dwyer]

No, it's only [e-mail] or you can call 800-456-Trim Trim or 404-602-5600.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, and you can link over to it if you can't remember all that just from our website at q100atlanta.com.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So, Matthew, with all this weight that we're talking about here, I mean, I feel like a lot of the weight loss shows that we see on tv, the reality tv, all that kind of stuff, like they've got doctors involved. Does each contestant have their doctor's permission to particip?

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yeah, they sure do. They've already checked with their doctors. And we've got the burbs big adventure doctor here as well. We've got Dr. Carroll, we've got our nutritionists and consultants here that are going to help them. And I'm personally going to be with them, helping them. Look, if they work out with these supplements, they're going to lose the weight faster. I get tremendous energy from them when I can work out. You know, they're going to shed the weight. I already had Dallas in there was talking about after two days, he couldn't believe he stayed on the treadmill for two hours. He was so excited after the second day. So Jeremiah, no question about it, everybody, Kristen, everybody is going to. I'm going to encourage them to work out with taking Healthy Trim. And the workouts are amazing. So they really, really will see tremendous results. I'm so excited. We're going to blow through the $60,000.

[Burt Show Host]

Jeremiah is going to lose me plus more in weight over the next 90 days.

[Panelist/Commentator]

You're going to lose a birth $60,000, man.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so you can go online and we're going to have videos and we'll have biographies and everything else up online to the Healthy Trim participants. And you can follow them over the next 90 days also. Okay. And again, that offer that Matthew just made only stands for the next 48 hours. And if you buy Healthy Trim in Georgia, $5 from every bottle goes to Burt's Big Adventure. So you'd really be helping us out. And it's real easy to find. It's right on his website. Logos on the top right corner, $5 for every person.

[Matthew Dwyer]

See, what will happen is 30 girls that get together go, all right. You know, it's by 500 bottles, $5 for every person.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay, so go up online right now, q100atlanta.com thanks, Matthew.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Thank you, Bert. Thank you, guys.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Good luck, guys.

[Burt Show Host]

Now, Bert, show traffic and weather with Wendy. Gotta bring that thing way down, don't you?

[Panelist/Commentator]

We gotta get a picture of him next to you, Bert, because that's what we do when there's tall people in the studio. He'll put you up on his shoulder like Tinkerbell.

[Burt Show Host]

Seriously, that dude is gonna lose me. Plus,

[Caller/Listener]

if you're traveling down 575southbound just before Town Lake Parkway, that crash now working off to the side but brake lights from there as you continue down to the merge on to 75. Also heavy volume on southbound, seeing brake lights near Mansell Road. It's heavy in spots down to Abernathy and the perimeter. If you're traveling in From Douglas County, 20 eastbound, a couple of slow spots near Fairburn Road, heavier again between Thornton Road over to the merge near 285 and connector northbound is around 15 minutes from Langford Parkway up to the Brookwood split. Traffic brought to you by Georgia's own credit union. It's your future. Own it. Weather for today, going to be partly cloudy, high of 55. Tomorrow going to see some afternoon showers, a high of 43, but currently 38. In Atlanta when the IQ 100.

[Burt Show Host]

You know, one person I forgot to mention for some reason, which is really a pretty cool story, Rebecca Sullins is going to be participating. She's one of the 10 also, and her son Brayden is one of the 2010 Burt's Big Adventure kids.

[Panelist/Commentator]

No way.

Oh, wow.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. And she wrote and she said she wants to contribute to Burt's Big Adventure. She can't contribute financially, so she's actually paying for some of the trip by losing weight.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wow.

So have you said, like, hit some goals or the kid's not going or her own kid?

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, like, yeah,

[Panelist/Commentator]

that would be Jeff's big Adventure.

[Caller/Listener]

We're not doing that.

[Burt Show Segment Announcer]

The bird show.

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[Burt Show Host]

from rebel.com get it the bird Show Good morning, Gloria.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Now you have to boot your best friend out of your wedding.

[Caller/Listener]

I wouldn't say boot. I would say politely. Find a way to get her to want to leave the wedding.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, let's establish first of all how good a friend we're talking about. Like is this bestie friends? Like something goes wrong, this is the first person you pick up your phone and you call.

[Caller/Listener]

We're really close. I would say she's like my second best friend. I mean, my sister is my maid of honor and she's second in line.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. So I mean, practically a sister.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

And I'm sure as you guys were growing up, you thought of this day together. I can't wait to see you married.

[Caller/Listener]

I can't wait to see you there.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Backyards are going to touch, and our kids will play together. Be awesome.

[Burt Show Host]

Right?

[Caller/Listener]

So that was definitely some of that.

[Burt Show Host]

All right. So that was the fantasy up to this point. So why now, in the 11th hour, do you have to sort of nudge her out of the wedding?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, after we've been friends for. I mean, literally since we were kids, she has gotten pregnant. And it's not because she's fat, even though that would be kind of annoying. It's because she's not married. And I don't really respect the fact that she is going to be almost eight months pregnant at the time of my wedding. I'm getting married in April.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, but if she was married, you'd feel differently about it?

[Caller/Listener]

If she was married, I would feel differently about it, absolutely.

[Burt Show Host]

So it's not. It's not the vanity of the pictures that you're talking about. It's the statement that she's making.

[Panelist/Commentator]

She said, that would be annoying.

[Caller/Listener]

It's just. I just don't agree with it. And I'm surprised that she hasn't, knowing how I feel about this, because it's not like we haven't. I mean, we've never talked about it with her, but definitely, like, we've talked about it with other people. She kind of knows how I feel about that kind of situation. And so I'm just a little surprised, actually, that she hasn't kind of said, you know what? I think it'd be best if I wasn't in your wedding.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So she's still your best friend even though she knows you don't approve of her pregnancy?

[Caller/Listener]

Correct.

[Panelist/Commentator]

How is that even possible?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I can still love the person not loving the behavior, and so I love her, but I just don't agree with her thinking that getting knocked up, you know, it's like, sorry, this isn't a movie with Katherine Heigl. You can't just get knocked up and everyone's gonna love you. Like, it's.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, is it like having a best friend isn't your best friend? Isn't that supposed to be unconditional love? I mean, I'm sure this isn't the ideal situation for her either. So why the judgments? I mean, like, you're ready to boot her out of your wedding and out of your life just because she's made some decisions that you don't agree with?

[Caller/Listener]

Listen, I want her in. I want her to be at the wedding. I don't want her out of my life. I just don't want her representing who I think my maids of honor, you know, my bridesmaids, these people that I respect. You know, it's the whole point of asking someone to be in your wedding is because you're basically giving them a gift, like, hey, I respect you. I love you. I want you to stand up there with me and support me on my good decision. I don't respect her enough right now to do that.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, my God.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, if you've been so honest and blunt with her about how you feel about it, why not just kick her out of the wedding? Because she already knows how you feel about it.

Because it's never that easy. And if it was that easy, I wouldn't be calling you guys trying to figure out a list of demands.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So is the question for us, how do we make her drop out?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, I want to figure out a way to, like, I don't know, because you guys always do stuff about, like, you know, the crazy, bright pillows that, like, put on a list of demands that are so over the top. You know, I want to, like, figure out a list of demands that she thinks I'm giving to everybody. So she's just like, I can't do it. I can't do it. I just don't want to be in the wedding if it's going to be that way. Then I can say, okay, no problem.

[Panelist/Commentator]

We do talk about bridezillas, and we. And I want to ask the panel of judges in the room right now, does this qualify in. It's her day. She gets to be selfish. She gets to be the bride. She gets what she wants.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, she doesn't get to be selfish. She is selfish.

[Panelist/Commentator]

But we've talked about brides. It's one of their few days where they get to be completely selfish.

[Burt Show Host]

No, I think it's probably the most judgmental thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Panelist/Commentator]

But still, if we're being consistent in Melissa's.

[Burt Show Host]

First of all, the consistency. That's Melissa's brand. That's not my brand. I say every situation is different.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I'm still shocked that this woman's still your friend after you've been so harsh about what's. I mean, what do you think that the better solution was gonna be for her when she got pregnant?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I mean, I'm just. I was pretty shocked when she got pregnant, but I would have thought that she would have either taken care of it right away or that she would have tried to make a serious effort

with this guy and got married.

Gotten married, or at least made an effort, like, you know, take responsibility for the fact that she's not going to be bringing a child onto this planet and that that baby deserves two parents. So I'm not too surprised that your listeners are having issues with it.

[Burt Show Host]

Did you think that we'd be overwhelmed with support calls for you?

[Caller/Listener]

I just want to find a way to make her feel more comfortable about leaving my wedding.

[Burt Show Host]

Here's Carly. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. I'm so mad, I'm shaking right now. I got pregnant out of wedlock, and if I had a best friend that is as shallow as this girl is, I would want her to tell me the truth so I could never, ever talk to her again. Your best friend is supposed to be there to say, you know what, honey, I may not agree with your decision, but I'm here to support you. I'm here to help you with any way I can with your child. You know, if she can't be in your wedding because of it, you need to be honest with her so she knows what kind of person you really are.

[Burt Show Host]

That's pretty representative of all the calls.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I mean, I just think it means you don't care about her as much as you say you do, or she's not really a best friend if you can all of a sudden dismiss her. I mean, certainly, I'm sure she made a mistake. I'm sure it's not the way that she had planned for her life to go or what she wanted, but that's what's happened. And the fact that you're just gonna reject her because of that mistake and, you know, not support her in having a baby and not want her in your wedding, one of the most important days in your life. Like, I just think you should let her go and find. Let her find a better best friend.

I mean, obviously, this is a core value, because you, you know, we're making. You were starting to make judgments on us, because we're not going to help you lie to her, which I think is contradictory and ironic, but I think that you should. You should cut her loose. Because the thing. The thing that concerns me is this is obviously something that really touches you deep down, and you don't agree with her, and you're going to judge that child as well as her, the rest of that child's life, and you're not going to be a good influence on that child. So I think that you should be honest with her. You also say, you know what? We've been best friends. But you know what? It's time to go different paths and then let her be free to have supportive friends and you be free to have friends that are more like you.

[Burt Show Host]

It took us a while, but we actually found a virtual listener that agrees with you. Anna, go ahead.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey.

I actually agree in principle what she's trying to say, that she feels very strongly that she can put her in her wedding if she doesn't agree with her being pregnant before getting married. But I have a problem with her

not telling her the truth.

I think as a friend, you should be telling her. I don't think this is a reason to ditch her. It's just telling her, I can't let you be in my wedding because that's

making a public statement that I agree with what you're doing and I don't.

But at the same time, you're still my friend. I will support you through this.

But she has to be honest with her.

[Burt Show Host]

Do you even like your best friend anymore? I mean, this is like Melissa said, this goes so against your core values.

[Caller/Listener]

I absolutely love her and I'm sad that she's in the situation and I'm sad that she's going to be like having to deal with, you know, this issue. But I'm also sad that she would think that knowing me, you know, she's also my best friend and she knows how I feel about this kind of thing. And for her to not say anything and for her to not step up to the plate and be like, hey, I know that you're not comfortable with this kind of, you know, you know, problem where, you know, you're not married and you're, you're pregnant, you're going to be living on government assistance. I have issues with that.

[Burt Show Host]

You may be the most self centered person we have ever had on the show.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I disagree completely. Hey, let me ask you, have you ever had premarital sex?

[Caller/Listener]

No.

[Burt Show Host]

You have not?

[Caller/Listener]

What? No.

So you're a virgin?

[Burt Show Host]

I think that's what it means.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So you're going to be a virgin on your wedding day?

[Caller/Listener]

I mean, we've messed around, but as far as that goes, yes.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Well, there goes your theory there hobby.

[Jeremiah McClary]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

You were ready to tee off. Damn.

[Burt Show Segment Announcer]

Damn.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Well, is there a little hesitation there or was that just me? There's a little hesitation there.

If you love.

[Caller/Listener]

I'm not Bill Clinton, like virgin. I'm. Well, like I've messed around. I mean, I've had, but I haven't had.

[Panelist/Commentator]

All right, there we go.

[Burt Show Host]

Thanks, Hobby. Welcome Back.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Any more questions there?

Jennifer's gonna be like, how hypocritical it was if she was, you know, singing on this big moral high horse. But it already kinda what she says, just the morals.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't like the idea that. I mean, she's willing to bring a child into the world that she can't support. Like, sorry, I pay taxes to have nice roads, not selling you.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Let her go. Just let her go. She doesn't need you in her life anyway. Let her go as your friend. Just tell her.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Grace. Go ahead. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi. I just think this chick is worried about her wedding pictures. She doesn't want her friend looking all, you know, like swollen and. And big and ugly on the wedding pictures. And she's so not her friend. So let her go. Let her go.

Oh, you're crazy. I think being beautiful. I think being pregnant is beautiful. I think being pregnant. I don't think being a slut is beautiful, but I think being pregnant is beautiful.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yeah, I just.

[Burt Show Host]

Did you just say I don't think being a slut is beautiful?

[Panelist/Commentator]

She did.

[Burt Show Host]

So the fact that she had sex and she got pregnant makes her. Makes your best friend a slut?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, she's not married. She's not even with the guy. I mean, I could like, even sit past her.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Burt Show Host]

I want to hear the words come out of your mouth, my best friend is a slut.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Save that.

[Caller/Listener]

My best friend has made funny decisions.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wow.

[Caller/Listener]

No. Now you're name calling about your best friend.

[Panelist/Commentator]

There's a lot. She's not your best friend. There's a lot of people that feel the same way she does. But that's why I think that you need to surround yourself with people that think like you and I. You know, if Katie and I have a child, there's gonna be people judging us for it. But guess what? Those people are not gonna be in my life or my child's life. I would protect that child. And I think that you should be honest with your best friend and give her the choice to protect your child against you.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Tanya. Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

People taking care of your child?

[Burt Show Host]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Cause Tanya actually is gonna agree with you. Hey, Tanya, go ahead.

[Caller/Listener]

I agree with her. I think she should be honest, though. But I agree with her in principle. I just think that a lot of days now everybody's so nonchalant and so free, but some people are still left that have morals. And it is her wedding and I wouldn't want someone standing up at my Wedding, pregnant and stuff like that. Because it's her day, so. But she should be honest with her.

[Burt Show Host]

You're throwing this morals word around left and right here. Whose morals are we talking about?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, it just should be some kind of standard about yourself, so. I mean, the thing of going out and having. Being intimate with someone, like the first time or whatever, you don't even know or just. You keep saying it's a mistake, but if you have unprotected sex, then that's what happens. You get pregnant.

[Burt Show Host]

You're making a lot of judgments here, though. I mean, what you're saying here is this is a person she had sex with that she didn't know and it was unplanned. And you're using the word mistake. Maybe it was planned. Maybe it was somebody she was dating for a while.

[Caller/Listener]

You guys were saying mistake.

[Burt Show Host]

I have never. I haven't used the word mistake here. So let's see.

[Caller/Listener]

If you have unprotected sex, I mean, willingly, then you get pregnant. It's not like you don't know what can happen. She has a right to not want her in the wedding. I just think she ought to be honest with her.

[Burt Show Host]

So if your moral code then here Gloria is so different from your best friends, then how can you still have her as a best friend?

[Caller/Listener]

You know what? I'm surprised she's my best friend right now, because I feel like my friends that I trust and respect wouldn't sleep with some guy, some random night drunk, get pregnant and then be like, oops, I'm gonna keep it. It's like, what?

[Jeremiah McClary]

Wow.

[Panelist/Commentator]

We obviously not going to change how you feel and. But I do think, you know, like, tease me. But I do believe in consistency. If you want to stand on some moral ground, then you've got to speak honestly. Like what? I still think it's ironic that you're calling us to help you lie to make her get out of your wedding. And then you want to call yourself an upstanding citizen. Be honest with your friend and tell her exactly why give her the chance to make a choice to ditch you?

[Caller/Listener]

Like, it's not like I'm some crazy born again Christian. I just believe that if you're going to make choices, you should be responsible for them. Listen, I vote for her. I believe in socialized healthcare. I just don't feel like I should be responsible and I should have to be judged based off of her bad decisions.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, isn't part of your moral code also then that standing up for what you believe in.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Right.

[Burt Show Host]

So stand up to your best friend and tell her what you believe in rather than try to lie to her.

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, that's great advice.

I will.

I think that's why I called.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Don't lie to her. Tell her the truth. You're judging her and you're talking so disrespectfully to her behind her back. Tell her the truth to her face.

[Burt Show Host]

You actually got people that are calling in that are agreeing with you, but nobody's agreeing that you should lie to them, right? So if you're gonna take that kind of moral stand, then tell her what you're all about.

[Caller/Listener]

The Bird show

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[Caller/Listener]

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[Burt Show Segment Announcer]

Listen, it's the vert show.

[Burt Show Host]

Here's what we would like you to do. The first kiss, or any kiss. Really important. Major, major important. I think it makes a statement as to what's about to happen.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, it could be a deal breaker.

[Burt Show Host]

And the quality of what's about to happen. It could be a deal breaker.

[Panelist/Commentator]

We've had people break up because their partners couldn't kiss.

[Burt Show Host]

Problem is that if you're a bad kisser, you probably don't know it. So here's what we would like to do today. This could go both ways. We can have guys and women call up. Chances are pretty good there's actually a name that you have in your head for the bad kisser. Like, I don't know, the slobberer.

[Caller/Listener]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Burt Show Host]

Just too much.

[Caller/Listener]

It's just all over the place. Like, you're like, gotta wipe your mouth with like a washcloth or towel after you're done.

[Panelist/Commentator]

That's gross. How about the lizard?

[Caller/Listener]

I haven't had the lizard.

[Burt Show Host]

He's the guy that just kind of dashes the tongue in and out. Right? Here's what we would like you to do. Call us right now and tell us about the worst kiss you ever had. 404-741-Q100. And we're gonna ask you to describe it for us. And with any luck at all, somebody listening will go, oh my God, I do that. Cause they think it's a hot move. Like the lizard guy, the darting guy with the tongue in and out of the mouth. He thinks that chicks are digging it.

[Panelist/Commentator]

It's probably a guy that told him that's how you do it. Like, I think guys are really bad about giving each other advice. If it's bad advice, then.

And the only.

You know.

And the only time guys are talking about how to kiss with other guys are in eighth grade. So that should.

That's the only time you've ever gotten advice on it.

And you continue it on until you're 20s and thir.

Because the guy thinks that's right. Yeah, totally. What are you talking about? It's what Justin Stewart told me to do.

[Burt Show Host]

Now this can go both ways, though, because there are some women that you guys think that you're fantastic kissers also, and not at all. Well, I told you guys off the air about the kiss with Leanne Bryan.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Lindsey Bryan.

[Burt Show Host]

No. Leanne Bryan. Back in the day. I'm not sure how to phrase this, but she. She flexed her tongue so much in my mouth.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, no.

Are you gonna describe it the way you describe it to us?

[Burt Show Host]

I can't, but I am.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wait, you have to, though. I didn't hear the description.

There's no way to do it without

[Burt Show Host]

us getting in trouble. She just inserted her tongue into my mouth and flexed as hard as she could, which made me think that.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Hey.

[Burt Show Host]

Right.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yes, he described it.

I laughed out loud that you were in a prison flick.

Well, there's two that come to mind for me. The slobber for sure, because I told you the story about the guy. You know, because. Yes, I dated guys in high school and college, and. Oh. I mean, he just. He slobbered all over my face and my ears and my neck. And it just literally had slobbered. It was like snail trail all over my head, my face, and my neck. It was so nasty. And then the other. The other one is the aggressive move of your. I'm the type of kisser that there's an on ramp. Like, there's an on ramp into the interstate. So you start off slow, and then it can get passionate. But the people that aggressively like full mouth open to where they're. You know, their lips are on your cheeks where you're not ready for them to eat your face. And, you know that whole thing that this, to me, is a total turn off, too.

[Burt Show Host]

All right, so too open guy.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Too open guy. Yeah, don't. Don't.

[Burt Show Host]

It's like you're diving into a cave.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yeah, don't. Yeah, exactly. Don't come at me like you're eating a burger.

Okay,

[Jeremiah McClary]

Simone.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. The worst kiss. What can guys learn from the worst kiss you ever had?

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, gosh. Good morning, bird show. I feel so bad even sharing this

with you, and I hope that he's not listening, but I like this guy so much, and we were just so

great together, and we finally got ready to have a kiss, and my entire face was dripping in spit.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah, that's the one that keeps coming in.

[Caller/Listener]

Absolutely was horrible. And we broke up.

[Burt Show Host]

Like, is that a medical thing where it's just some dudes have, like, overworked. Salivary. Salivary Salv.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Salivary glands.

[Burt Show Host]

Salivary glands.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't know any Better. We were young, but. Oh, God, it was horrible.

[Panelist/Commentator]

It's not hot on your face.

[Burt Show Host]

Where is that hot there, Melissa.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wow.

[Hers Weight Loss Advertiser]

Dang.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I'm moving slowly today. That took me a second. I was like, oh, dang.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Megan. Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Good morning. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, how are you guys?

[Burt Show Host]

Good. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

I love. First of all, I love you guys show. I listen to you every morning.

[Burt Show Host]

Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

There was this guy that I. We actually dated for, like, five years. I had to, like, retrain him. It was horrible. Our first kiss, he tried to, like, suck my entire face into his mouth.

And then, like, I don't know if

he was, like, checking my teeth for, like, fillings with his tongue, but it was like he was, like, going over every one of my teeth with his tongue. Horrible.

[Burt Show Host]

So he was, like, brushing your teeth with his tongue?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, like, I, like.

I, like, put my hands on his chest, like, pushed him off me. I was like, didn't know.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I've had that happen.

[Burt Show Host]

Really? Well, he's running his tongue over all your teeth.

[Caller/Listener]

Really?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yes. Between the gum and the teeth.

That seems sense to me.

I'm so confused.

[Burt Show Host]

What the hell are you doing, dude?

[Caller/Listener]

Guys need to master their tongue. Like, seriously, Cuz, don't touch my tonsils either, because I don't need all that in the back of my throat.

[Panelist/Commentator]

You ever had a guy, though, just not move his lips at all, but just his tongue? Like, his lips, like, stay put. It's like, you gotta move those two. Like, I just stood there.

[Burt Show Host]

Seriously.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So, wait, what?

[Burt Show Host]

Like a perfect O and then they

[Panelist/Commentator]

just sort of stayed put. And then it was like, oh, but they're.

But they're moving the tongue.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah,

[Panelist/Commentator]

like, the mouth just is stationary. That was bad. But the worst one was, it was in college, and he swallowed my head. I think he was, like, opened his mouth as far as he possibly could, was, like, swallowing my face and then, like, reaching for my tonsils with his tongue.

Two aggressive guys.

Back off far enough. And it was not nice.

Yeah. Gentle, gentle.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Allison. Good morning. You're on the bird shop.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Burt Show Host]

We're good.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Burt Show Host]

We're hoping that if you describe the worst kiss you ever had, that there are some dudes listening right now that

[Caller/Listener]

will go, guilty, because it was horrible. I dated a guy, and I dated him. I had to retrain him, too, for, like, two years. And I actually had to bite him to get him to stop. He would, like, stick his tongue in my mouth and let it lay like a dead slug on the bottom of my mouth. He would not take it out. I was literally, like. At first, I would just, like, pull my head back. And then I got irritated with pushes back. And finally one day, I bit his tongue really hard.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, no, you did not. I can't believe you kept kissing him after that.

[Caller/Listener]

He's a really nice guy. And I thought, well, because he hadn't dated that many girls, that maybe, you know, the whole eighth grade thing, just him and his friends never talked about it.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Hilarious.

[Burt Show Host]

Now, this goes the other way also. You had a dude that just sort of laid his tongue in your mouth. There is the two fast.

[Caller/Listener]

In the bottom of my mouth. He would, like. If his hands got occupied or his mind wandered, I don't know what was going on, he forget about it.

[Panelist/Commentator]

He'd forget that his tongue was there.

[Burt Show Host]

Tongue add.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I can only do one thing at a time.

[Burt Show Host]

It goes the other way also, where it can be too fast, too. Like, you gotta.

[Marcus Bastin]

Whoa.

[Burt Show Host]

You can't do too fast, right? Whoa, slow down.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Insult me like a mixing bowl.

You're not trying to stir my cream right now.

You know what? As a blender, as a customer service, I think Melissa should make out with Wendy, and we'll videotape it.

Come on.

Hey, Autumn.

[Caller/Listener]

Good Morning.

[Burt Show Host]

You're on Q100 again?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Eighth grade.

She's just.

[Burt Show Host]

Autumn, go ahead.

[Panelist/Commentator]

All right.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey.

I just wanted to say that I had a guy. We were good friends, and it's not necessarily a technique thing. More of a hygiene thing. And he had a goatee. And apparently it had, like, a hot dog with mustard. And it was filled in the air. When he kissed me, I was like, okay, that's enough.

Stop it.

[Panelist/Commentator]

There was still a hot dog in there.

It's called flavored floss.

[Caller/Listener]

That there was mustard in his goatee.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I mean, it was.

[Caller/Listener]

It was.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

That's just common sense right there. Come on now.

[Caller/Listener]

That's what I would have thought, but you never know.

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. It's good advice.

[Caller/Listener]

You thought you were hungry.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Wow, that's bad.

[Burt Show Host]

Sonia.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, hey.

[Burt Show Host]

Worst kiss. What we're hoping is that there's a guy listening, going, oh, man, I do that. And I thought that was hot.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, well, what I'm about to tell

you is so not hot. I was so into this guy. And, you know, like, when you finally get them and you're like, yeah, well, then there's that first kiss. And from, like, that day on, I've

called him the slobbery tooth lizard.

You like? I don't know.

It was weird.

It's like, you know how like you just.

Your face is covered in spit and then the tongue is going everywhere and

there's teeth feeling like they're like biting you?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yes.

[Caller/Listener]

Like, just, you're like, I don't know,

you know, your teeth smack each other and it's just not supposed to happen like that. But no to confidence.

Off. I don't know what he was thinking,

but apparently somebody told him it was a turn on to like blow in your mouth.

[Burt Show Host]

I came back too.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes. And he blew him off.

It was ridiculous.

[Burt Show Host]

Like to wear your cheeks blow.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Yes.

[Caller/Listener]

And I pushed him back and I

[Panelist/Commentator]

said, what the hell are you doing?

That's not sexy. That's the way to save someone's life.

Was not a kissing video. That was cpr.

Right. And then lieu and open your airway and do chest compressions.

Yeah.

He's also heard that's really sexy too.

[Marcus Bastin]

Right?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh, my God, Melissa.

[Caller/Listener]

If you've had all that, no wonder you don't like boys.

[Burt Show Host]

This is the bird show.

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[Panelist/Commentator]

We know it's not just what's inside your home that matters. It's who you share it with. That's why we work even harder to protect it. Visit ameca.com and get a quote.

Today,

[Burt Show Host]

This is the bird show. All right, so this is a news story. This is the first and only legal male prostitute in the US and this is Nevada.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yeah, this is in Nevada. And it's the Shady Lady Ranch.

The Shady Lady.

[Burt Show Host]

Lucky Shady lady. Shady lady.

[Marcus Bastin]

He's 5 9, 180 pounds, a former.

[Burt Show Host]

Oh, you're bummed because he's only 5 9, aren't you? I saw the disappointment wash over you.

[Marcus Bastin]

He's 5 9, 180 pounds, a former Marine. And if you're a woman in search of no strings romance, Marcus Bastin can be all yours for $300 an hour.

If she's willing to stay through these doors, she'll have the best moment. Hopefully that can provide for her in her entire Life.

For the 25 year old, it's about more than just pleasing women. Here at the Shady lady brothel, two hours northwest of Las Vegas, here's a stud farm.

We call it the stud farm Peacock Ranch.

So this is where you bring the ladies?

Yeah, of course.

He's making history as the nation's first and only legal male prostitute. Here in Nevada, the one state in the country where paying for sex is allowed.

I'm basically doing what Rosa Parks did when she decided to sit up front on the bus instead of the back.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Oh my God.

[Marcus Bastin]

Or what Gandhi did when he's had the sit down protest, you know, against the British embassy. You know, I'm basically trying to reset social norms.

[Burt Show Host]

You are kidding me.

[Panelist/Commentator]

That's awesome.

[Rebel.com Advertiser]

That's your man.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Here's the problem. He's gonna be broke because women don't have to pay for it.

He's confident now.

[Marcus Bastin]

And yes, size matters.

[Panelist/Commentator]

What about your physical requirements?

[Marcus Bastin]

I'm well endowed, I'm above average. But women said that, you know, if you're too big, it's very uncomfortable. So I'm riding the middle range.

Beston is used to the scrutiny. He came to the Shady lady after a failed attempt at the porn industry left him homeless in Los Angeles.

Now I have a place to stay. You know, I have people around me that care about me. I have an amiable mean of employment, so I would be taken care of. You know, I wouldn't have to sleep on the streets anymore.

But for Beston, it's not all about the money.

I thoroughly enjoy the presence of women. Women are like. Like fine china.

What makes you so qualified? Have you slept with a lot of women?

No, I've only slept with three women my whole life.

That doesn't make you question your ability or.

[Burt Show Host]

Whoa.

[Marcus Bastin]

All these women are going to be.

No. Lord, no.

What do you hope a woman is feeling when she walks out of your bedroom at the end of the session?

That she can go out into the world and put her shoulders back and say, wow, I cannot believe I can actually do this in America now.

A hard sell from the lone gentleman in the world's oldest profession.

[Panelist/Commentator]

You never stop with three women.

Well, first of all, I take back what I said about guaranteed to be good, because if I was trying to get my resume as the male prostitute one, I wouldn't say that I had a failed attempt at porn.

[Burt Show Host]

Right.

[Panelist/Commentator]

That's not good. And then I've only slept with three women. Not good.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah. Here's the difference between guys and women. Like, you're at a strip club, Women are gonna lie to you about their past. This guy's being too honest. Yeah, yeah. It was a failed porn star. I've only slept with three women. Don't. Honesty.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Yeah, no, no. Lie to me.

[Burt Show Host]

Have you seen what this guy looks like?

[Panelist/Commentator]

I have not.

[Caller/Listener]

Neither has you.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I'm always skeptical, too. When a guy says I'm well endowed, you're like, really? What if you were, you might not say it. Oh, is this the full deal?

Is the full monty not the full monty? Oh.

Ew. Gross. Gross. Nobody is paying him for that.

[Burt Show Host]

I mean, he's got a rough helmet, but the rest of it's.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I mean, he's.

[Burt Show Host]

It's 25.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Really? I. He's got an okay body and he's got a cool tattoo, but, I mean, put a paper bag over it.

Maybe that's just a bad picture.

Throw it in.

No, that's the best I could find

that picture up.

And he's admitted. Admittedly, he's like, I'm not that big. I've only been with three women. I look like this. I am the most average lover you'll ever have.

[Burt Show Host]

Well, he's only had, like, three or four clients, so.

[Caller/Listener]

Far.

[Burt Show Host]

So somebody's paying for it.

[Panelist/Commentator]

He's making change, people. Didn't you hear what he said?

[Burt Show Host]

He's making change.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Melissa, really?

[Burt Show Host]

Here is Jake. Good morning. Jake, you're on Q100.

[Matthew Dwyer]

Hi.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey.

[Caller/Listener]

About what he just said about how

[Caller/Guest]

he's only been with three women. That might not be just all BS and stuff. I've only been with about five or six women in my life. From the very first time I did it, I realized that I had a special ability. Not because, not just because of how they reacted, but because of what they told me. They'd been with more guys than I'd been with women. And they made it pretty vocal to me that, hey, you're good. He might have that same ability. I don't know if he does or doesn't whatever, but some guys do just have it. I know I'm one of those guys

[Panelist/Commentator]

who's gonna follow up with this Wendy or Jen.

[Caller/Listener]

So it's just gifted talent.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, Honestly, that's my only God given talent as far as I'm concerned.

[Burt Show Host]

Look, I can. Here's where I can agree with you on this is like if we weren't talking about sex, okay, let's say we were talking about baseball. There are some guys that are more talented at playing baseball than other guys. That is true. So why can't this also go into the sex world?

[Caller/Listener]

Why?

[Burt Show Host]

Like, there's more. There's some guys that are just more talented in that area than other guys. And this guy may be a natural.

[Panelist/Commentator]

He may be a natural, but the fact that he's saying it about himself makes you skeptical. If there were all. If all those women were calling up and saying, yeah, this guy, this guy, this guy, then I would believe it. But a guy bragging about his own ability, like, you don't really know, like, she knows.

[Caller/Guest]

And he's on the news trying to make money too.

[Burt Show Host]

So, like we've had women call the show here, Jake, that have faked it with their husbands for 20 years. Like their husbands think they're fantastic. And these women have been disappointed for 20 years. So there may be a case. You just don't know or maybe are great at it.

[Caller/Listener]

It's possible.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't know. And they, I mean, they could have all been just lying to me, but I think out of six girls, at least one of them would have been like looking disappointed, you know, they didn't have really. I mean, I wasn't in a relationship with them, so they didn't have to fake it too much, you know? I don't know. I'll see.

[Burt Show Host]

How can a guy be sure he's good in bed? Outside of the obvious of her, you know? But, like, how can a guy be sure? Do they all always come back for more?

[Caller/Guest]

My ex girl, my last girlfriend did.

[Burt Show Host]

So one of the five kept you around after the breakup just to have sex with you?

[Panelist/Commentator]

I have a question for then.

[Burt Show Host]

Maybe first one.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Well, I have a question for Jen and Wendy, but you guys can answer this anonymously so nobody will know it's you guys.

Disguise.

[Burt Show Host]

There he goes.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Does every guy think he's great?

[Matthew Dwyer]

Who?

[Lady Luck Britzky]

Yes.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, every guy wouldn't tell you. They're not.

[Panelist/Commentator]

No, not beforehand. Like, when it's all done. Is there ever a situation where a guy says, my bad? I know I'm not awesome at that, but I hope that was good.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, a guy wouldn't say that, though.

[Burt Show Segment Announcer]

I know.

[Panelist/Commentator]

That's what I'm saying. Like, does every guy finish that?

Do you think you're good, Jeff?

Oh, come on.

[Burt Show Host]

I'll look at this from the other way. Like, I know that there are times when I'm not good, but she doesn't have to tell me. I know.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Okay. Do you ever say anything about it?

I know when you're not.

[Burt Show Host]

Yeah.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Well, because you guys have been together so long, you're that comfortable with each other.

Yeah.

[Burt Show Host]

I'll say something like, I owe you one.

[Panelist/Commentator]

I know

[Burt Show Host]

you went on that one.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So what's interesting about what you just said is I know when Bert's not good because Stacy tells me.

But I think going back to what Bert said about the baseball analogy, if you had a guy come up to you, Bert, and say, you know what? I really. I'm good at baseball. I mean, I got a natural talent. I gotta tell you. I mean, you'd be skeptical. I agree with Jen. Like, if you say it about yourself.

Say it about yourself. I'm just not so sure.

[Burt Show Host]

Like, wouldn't it. His attitude would tell you more than his. His words, wouldn't it? Like, Southside is gonna come in here and he's gonna tell you he's the greatest lover in the world. Would you believe him based on his words or his attitude?

[Panelist/Commentator]

Neither. Neither. You only, like, believe it based on reputation. There's a guy that we know who has a reputation for being really good at that and being.

It's because women have said, well endowed.

And I would totally believe it because there are several women I know that's been with that dude that's told me that. And I'm like, wow, really? But the dude himself is very unassuming about that. Would never say that.

[Burt Show Host]

Does he know that his references are as high as they are?

[Panelist/Commentator]

I don't think he does.

Really.

[Caller/Listener]

I think.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Are you talking about me?

I think that. I think that people who talk a lot have to prove something. And I'm sure that if somebody's confident in that, then they don't have to say anything. They just prove it.

Yeah, it's the more quiet types about it.

[Burt Show Host]

Hey, Wanda. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, how you guys doing?

[Burt Show Host]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

I love your show.

Listen to you every day. Try to get other people to listen to you as well.

Anyway, how you could tell a woman,

I mean, a man is good, is

the woman would go nuts and, like, want more, you know, right after. Or they will, like, always call up the guy or. And if it's not good, they're just, okay, see you later. You know, I must admit, I've had a few in my. And I can count on my hand that how many guys. And I've always, like. I'm always eager. If they call me, I'm like, I'm hoping that they're wanting to, you know, hook up.

[Panelist/Commentator]

So she'll give you. So, yeah, she'll follow with a lot of extra attention if you're good.

[Burt Show Host]

I think the sign is always, if she comes back. She's not coming back to you if you're not good.

[Panelist/Commentator]

Right, Exactly.

I mean, it's no different. I mean, it's the adult version of the kiss we talked about earlier. I mean, as a kid, and even as an adult, horrible kisser, then you don't want to come back for that. And so same with, you know, everything else. Right.

[Burt Show Host]

Here's Ashley. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, guys. I had a guy apologize afterwards. Just. I mean, just beg me for, like, 10 minutes not to judge him on that first performance before it even happened. He said, you know, I haven't done this in a while. Which. So not only did you have the worst expectations going into it, but then it was like when you get a shot and you're afraid that it's gonna hurt, and then it just before you know it, you didn't even know that it happened, and it's over.

You don't even know what happened.

[Burt Show Host]

I can't think of a worse turnoff than that of a guy saying, this isn't gonna be good for you.

[Panelist/Commentator]

You don't say it beforehand. You don't say it beforehand.

[Caller/Listener]

I'll be pleasantly surprised I haven't never talked to him again.

[Panelist/Commentator]

All right, ladies, I'm so glad we're together for a night of great, great, beautiful mediocrity.

Save.

[Caller/Listener]

Save that

[Burt Show Segment Announcer]

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