The Bert Show

Full Show PT 2: Thursday, November 6 [Vault]

Date: November 6, 2025 | Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast
Featured Guests/Co-Hosts: Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, Alana (Nutritionist), Father Ricardo Bailey

Episode Overview

This episode blends classic Bert Show humor with heartfelt listener drama and authentic, lively morning radio energy. The cast kicks off with a hilarious phone prank, features regular guest Father Ricardo Bailey for a fun and thoughtful cultural segment, and dives deep into a listener's real-life weight loss journey—“motivation by nauseation”—where accountability and relationship dynamics collide.

Major Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. Phone Scam: The Singing Store Greeter Prank

[00:32 – 06:14]

• Setup: Jeff (prank caller, in character) calls Scott Nimrod/Sean, pretending to offer a management job with an unexpected twist: the role requires singing personalized greeting songs to every customer.

• Jeff invents elaborate expectations (composition, training staff, live singing at the door), and Scott gamely rolls with the joke—culminating in two live song performances over the phone.

• Memorable Song Lyrics (Scott):

  “Welcome today to it is Sniggers. Deals we have are very pretty. Cameras and phones and DVDs. The stuff we have is sure to please...”
  [04:03]

• The Reveal: Jeff finally confesses Scott is on the radio and part of a phone scam, all orchestrated with the help of Scott's roommate.

• Notable Quote:

  • Jeff: “I’ve got zero to do with that store. I don’t make any hiring decisions. And the second is, you have sung on the radio… you’ve just been phone scammed.” [05:15]

• Ends with Scott taking it all in stride:

  “We will, we will scam you.” [06:01]

2. Catching Up with Father Ricardo Bailey

[06:14 – 16:27]

• Intro: Father Bailey joins the show, teasing about his early-morning struggles as a regular guest and referencing a recent New York Times article about his unique presence on Atlanta radio.

• Fun Banter: Joking about future “Father Bailey action figures,” Hot Wheels, and his “Father mobile car,” the cast highlights his growing public persona and community impact.

  • Father Bailey: “Mattel’s already in talks with you, aren’t they?” [08:01]
  • Burt: “You’re getting ready to blow up, dude. I’m telling you!” [08:08]

• New York Times Shoutout:
  Burt reads the article excerpt about Father Bailey blending priesthood and pop culture on their show, with gentle ribbing about pronunciation and humility.

  • Father Bailey: “I look at [the article] as a wonderful means of showing people a different aspect of the priesthood, that priests are human too… most of all, we have fun.” [09:22]

• Father Bailey’s Segment: Lessons from Hollywood via David Hasselhoff

  • Topic: Hasselhoff’s public tears on “American Idol” and the stigma of men expressing emotion.

  • Father Bailey’s Take: Relates Hasselhoff’s vulnerability to biblical examples of crying, urging men to embrace their emotions without shame.

    • “Women love a sensitive man… Game recognize game, player.” [11:16]
    • “There are many reasons and circumstances that can touch the emotions we hold inside.” [11:29]

  • Humorously details what makes him cry: bad hygiene, smelly armpits, bad breath, and “funky feet”—injecting personal stories and classic radio relatability.

  • Shares a poignant memory of his ordination and the emotions tied to community and tradition.

  • Key Message:

    • “Don’t be a hater if I cry. Therefore, Atlanta, Jesus did it… There cannot be any shame in your gizzain.” [15:28]

  • Finishes with shoutouts to his parish and community members.

3. Motivation by Nauseation: The Weight Loss Challenge

[16:27 – 26:06]

• Premise: The show spotlights a contest where one partner’s lack of support for the other’s weight loss journey is “punished” by having the unsupportive partner ride the Goliath rollercoaster as many times as pounds are lost.

  • “For every pound you lose, your partner who has been mean... has to ride Goliath for each pound you lose.” — Alana [16:43]

• Listener Sean & Wife Cindy: Emotional & Physical Transformations

  • Sean shares his wife’s harsh public jabs and attempts at “motivating” him—often by embarrassing him about his weight in front of family and friends (e.g., comparing him to the Kool-Aid Man) [18:35]
  • Cindy candidly admits on-air that she is concerned about Sean’s weight, not just for health reasons but physical attraction, too.

• Update on Progress

  • Sean started working with fitness trainers and nutritionist Alana.
    • Reports 8.5 pounds lost in 5 days,
    • “At the beginning, I was only wearing sweatpants... I wore a suit the other day—I had so much space in this suit already.” — Sean [24:44]
  • Cindy’s unexpectedly supportive—mostly! Occasional slip-ups with tempting desserts are mentioned.
  • Sean notes the difficulty of nutrition compared to working out:

    “With the nutrition, I’m all by myself… it’s more self-motivation.” [23:06]

  • Alana emphasizes the challenges of maintaining healthy eating while traveling and staying consistent.
  • Wins & Challenges: 11.5 pounds lost so far, new habits developing, relationship dynamic shifting (“She lasted three days walking with me and fell off” — Sean [25:44]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Father Bailey on Crying:
  “A good cry isn’t a bad thing. And fellas, listen to a priest. Women love a sensitive man… But just think about it. Game recognized game, player.” — Father Ricardo Bailey [11:16]
• On Motivation:
  “My whole motivation right now is just to get big enough to beat [the coach].” — Sean [22:33]
• On Nutrition:
  “With the nutrition, I’m all by myself. So it’s more, I have to be self-motivated to do it well.” — Sean [23:06]
• On Relationship Dynamic:
  “She was trying to go with me… went with me for about three days, and she fell off.” — Sean [25:44]
• On Being Pranked Live:
  “I have zero to do with that store… you have sung on the radio… you’ve just been phone scammed.” — Jeff (prank caller) [05:15]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:32] Phone scam introduction
• [04:03, 04:40] Scott’s “Sniggers” songs
• [05:15] The reveal: phone scam
• [06:14] Welcoming Father Bailey
• [08:16] Reading from the New York Times
• [10:10] Father Bailey’s “Don’t Be a Hater If I Cry” segment begins
• [14:44] Father Bailey’s personal emotional stories
• [16:27] Transition: Weight loss challenge setup
• [18:35] Cindy’s candid admission about physical attraction
• [20:53] Sean updates: 8.5 pounds down, supportive wife
• [22:01] Weight loss total: 11.5 pounds
• [23:06] Sean discusses the difficulty of nutrition
• [24:44] Noticing changes in clothing
• [25:44] Cindy “falls off” the walking bandwagon

Episode Tone & Style

• Language: Informal, playful, with spontaneous laughs and personal sharing.
• Humor mixed with substance: The Bert Show signature style—fearless about self-deprecation, bringing in both levity (phone scamming, jokes about hygiene) and meaningful moments (Father Bailey’s honest spiritual reflection, real listener struggles with body image and marriage).
• Relatable: Focus on ordinary challenges—morning drudgery, relationships, personal progress.

Final Thoughts

This episode captures the heart and humor of The Bert Show: clever pranks, deep dives into psychological and emotional health, and community connection. Father Bailey’s segment stands out for merging pop culture and personal faith with quotable warmth and wit, while the weight loss storyline mixes accountability with compassion. The blend of laughs, vulnerability, and wisdom makes this a truly engaging morning listen.