The Bert Show – Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, December 30 [Vault]

Original Air Date: December 30, 2025
Featuring: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Summary Covers: [01:22]–[35:22]

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into lively relationship debates and listener calls, focusing on two main themes:

1. How women feel about dating men who are virgins
2. The challenge of balancing wedding guest lists between partners and their families

The hosts and callers bring humor, candid stories, and earnest opinions, maintaining the show’s authentic and lighthearted tone throughout.

Main Discussion Points

1. Women Dating Virgin Men

Segment starts: [01:23]

• The hosts discuss recent events on The Bachelorette, where a male contestant revealed he was “saving himself for marriage” and was consequently eliminated from the show.
• The conversation pivots to the real world: how do women actually feel about dating a man who is a virgin?

Key Points:

• Stereotypes & Perceptions:
  • Host (Bert): “I think a guy’s attitude towards virgins, and a woman’s attitude towards virgins may be totally different here... Is that a catch or is that a guy that you let go?” [02:04]
  • There’s an assumption that adult male virgins trigger suspicion among women (“what’s wrong with them?”).
• Shared Experience & Compatibility:
  • Guest (Female): Explains it depends on whether the woman is also a virgin, suggesting mutual values create a more comfortable dynamic [02:51].
  • If the woman is more experienced, some express feelings of self-consciousness or guilt.
    • Guest (Female): “He hasn’t done it. I feel guilty that I’ve, you know, thrown it here and there and there and there.” [03:32]
• Listener Calls:
  • Emily: Dated a 25-year-old virgin, found a “lack of passion” and personal guilt about her own experience; it “didn’t really work out” [04:03–04:17].
  • Lauren: Sees a potential benefit in “training” a partner with no experience [04:52], though not necessarily a plus.
  • A Majesty: Worries that marrying a virgin may lead to future curiosity or infidelity, out of a desire to “test the waters” [05:54].
  • Sherry: Married as an inexperienced virgin, but struggled with jealousy over her husband’s past partners [06:42].
  • Andrea: Believes a male virgin may have more respect for himself and women, and that a woman can “mold a man into what you want him to be” [07:41].
  • Nicole: Firmly against dating virgins, citing the difficulty and time involved in “training” someone from scratch:

    "Half the guys now don't even know what they doing, much less a damn virgin... No, I do not have time to be trying to train nobody." [09:24]

• Hosts’ Consensus:
  • Mixed feelings among both hosts and listeners, with concerns ranging from guilt, compatibility, and assumptions of inexperience to skepticism about the novelty or difficulty of a first serious relationship.

2. End of the Honeymoon Phase in Relationships

Segment starts: [12:33]

• The conversation shifts to humorous and insightful indicators that a romantic relationship has moved past the “honeymoon” or “courting” stage.

Key Signs and Stories:

• Comfort Over Seduction:
  • Howard: Describes his girlfriend no longer wearing sexy outfits to bed but opting for an "oversized T-shirt and granny panties".

    “I looked over and I looked at her and I said, Mary Kay, honey, good to see you're comfortable enough with me to wear a shirt you paint in and a pair of underwear that's so big, I could cover my car with it.” [14:51]

  • Host (Bert): “The day she switches from Victoria's Secret to the underwear that she's absolutely comfortable in – that's a sure sign, man, honeymoon period is over.” [15:02]
• Moves from Best Behavior to Raw Honesty:
  • Acts signifying comfort: partners farting, sharing the bathroom routine, or “narrowing his back” for grooming [16:14].
  • Tony (caller): “When your girlfriend start breaking gas and picking her nose right in front of you?” [17:49]
• Decrease in ‘Effort’:
  • Howard: Describes the transition from receiving sweet morning notes and treats to just being told to “put the key back under the mat” [16:49].
  • Friends chime in with stories of once-extravagant gestures giving way to everyday practicalities.
• Financial Honesty:
  • Howard’s Mom: “When you're driving in the car and the guy you're dating turns to you and tells you he's done courting you and you can start financially contributing to the relationship now.” [17:12]
    • Reaction: “What a buzz kill at that point.” – Host (Bert) [17:21]

3. Couples Court: The Wedding Guest List Debate

Segment starts: [20:17]
(Focus segment, includes debate, listener votes, and family involvement)

The Conflict:

• Howard: Wants to invite all friends and extended family to the wedding (potentially 250-300 people) but only 200 to the reception.
• Karen: Prefers a strict limit (100 from each side), believing only close friends and family belong at both event and meal, citing practicality and etiquette.

Key Discussion:

• Host (Bert): “This is probably a situation that I have very little to add to... in the case here of Howard and Karen, it's pretty split down the middle. And it's kind of starting to cause a little friction between the two.” [20:33]
• Karen: “If it's somebody that you don't talk to at least once a month, then they really don't need to be there.” [22:15]
• Listener Advice:
  • Some callers agree with Howard’s vision, supporting inviting people just for the ceremony to avoid reception costs [25:10].
  • Others, including an event planner, say it’s “tacky... you can come and buy me a present, but I'm not going to thank you for that” if guests aren’t welcomed to both [27:23].
• Logistics and Traditions:
  • Discussing family size, travel (some guests coming from Nashville or Pittsburgh), and reception venues' capacity.
  • Karen: Suggests that inviting guests only to the ceremony is unfair, especially after traveling.

Notable Quotes:

• Karen: “These are the same people that came down when I graduated. They came down for, you know, a 30 minute ceremony, and they didn't get invited to the graduation dinner. They went back home.” [28:02]
• Howard's Mom: “Immediate family is almost 100 people... family of 12 children plus their children, plus their children.” [29:15]
• Host (Bert): “You’ve learned a very valuable lesson. She’s the bride.” [33:36]

The Verdict:

• Voting: Listeners call in to settle it – the show tabulates the votes and delivers the results.
• Final Tally: Karen wins the vote, 337 to Howard’s 181 [32:47].
  • Host (Bert): “Now the problem stops.” [32:55]
  • Karen: Celebrates: “I won!” [32:52]
• Resolution: They agree to cap the entire wedding at 200 guests; reaffirmed as a fair compromise given costs and venue limits.
• Humor:
  • “Put your hands in the air and scream, I won.” – Host (Bert), poking fun at marital victories [33:01].
  • If future disagreements arise, “just call The Bert Show and have people vote on it.” [33:17]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dating Virgins:

  • Nicole (caller) [09:24]:

    “Half the guys now don’t even know what they doing, much less a damn virgin... No, I do not have time to be trying to train nobody.”

  • Guest (Female) [05:54]:

    “If he's never been with anyone else, then he's going to want to venture out during the marriage at some point... test the waters.”

• On Ending the Honeymoon:

  • Howard [14:51]:

    “A shirt you paint in and a pair of underwear that's so big, I could cover my car with it.”

  • Host (Bert) [15:02]:

    “The day she switches from Victoria's Secret to the underwear that she's absolutely comfortable in – that's a sure sign, man, honeymoon period is over.”

• On the Wedding Guest List:

  • Event Planner (caller) [27:23]:

    “It is very tacky to invite people to the wedding and then not to the reception because you’re asking them to buy a present... but I'm not going to thank you for that.”

  • Host (Bert) [33:36]:

    “You’ve learned a very valuable lesson. She’s the bride.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:23] – Discussion on dating virgins begins
• [04:03] – Listener "Emily" shares experience dating a 25-year-old virgin
• [09:24] – Caller Nicole’s viral “No time to train a virgin” rant
• [12:33] – Transition to signs the honeymoon phase is over
• [14:51] – Howard’s "granny panties" story
• [16:14] – Real-life couple moments: first time shaving a partner’s back
• [20:17] – Couples Court: The Guest List Debate begins
• [22:15/23:03] – Karen and Howard’s differing philosophies break down
• [27:23] – Event planner’s call: “tacky” to exclude guests from the reception
• [32:47] – Final tally announced; Karen wins the wedding guest list debate
• [33:36] – Conclusion: “She’s the bride.”

Episode Takeaways

• Dating a Virgin:
  • Women’s attitudes vary greatly; for some, it’s a red flag or too much work, for others, it’s an opportunity for shared growth or “training.” There’s also a prevailing sense of societal double standards and concern for future curiosity/infidelity.
• Relationships Shift:
  • The “honeymoon period” always gives way to a more relaxed, authentic phase—humorously illustrated by comfy clothes, less inhibition, and everyday inconveniences.
• Wedding Planning:
  • Guest lists are a battleground—but it’s best to compromise, respect both partners' wishes, and accept that sometimes the bride (or those footing the bill) will have the final say.

The episode is infused with The Bert Show’s trademark humor, realness, and “morning show family” energy, making topics deeply relatable and frequently laugh-out-loud funny.