Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, December 9 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show — Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, December 9 [Vault] (December 9, 2025)

Main Theme Overview

In this lively edition of The Bert Show, the primary focus is a dramatic and divisive marital dispute: a wife holding her husband's Super Bowl ticket ransom as punishment for his lack of household responsibility. The cast digs into the ethics and dynamics of this 'punishment,' fielding passionate calls from listeners. In the second half, the mood lightens as hosts and callers share their favorite “mindless movies”—those films you always stop to watch when channel surfing. Expect authenticity, playful arguments, and a fair bit of nostalgia.

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Segment 1: “Super Bowl Ticket Hostage” — Marital Drama Unfolds

(01:33 – 23:08)

Key Discussion Points

• The Story Emerges (01:36 – 06:50):

  • Jason calls in describing a work colleague, Sarah, who refuses to send her husband, Matt, his Super Bowl ticket in Houston because he neglects chores and house projects.
  • The cast debates what household neglect could possibly justify such drastic action.

• Listeners and Hosts Weigh In (06:53 – 23:08):

  • Opinions split, with some (like Bonnie and Victoria) empathizing with Sarah, and others (notably Bert, Jen, Melissa, and Jeff) taking Matt's side or calling the plan excessive.
  • Sarah herself joins the show (08:56), explaining her perspective: her husband repeatedly ignores household responsibilities and her appeals to help.

• Sarah’s Reasoning:

  • Sarah lists her grievances:
    • Incomplete projects (loose tiles, unfinished porch)
    • Not doing dishes (12:11)
    • A messy office and garage
    • Not helping her mother as promised (12:53 and 19:12)
    • Her “punishment” is rooted in a belief that nothing else gets her point across (13:48, 14:24)

• Cast and Listener Pushback:

  • Long-married listeners warn Sarah her action may cause lasting marital damage (15:00 – 18:10).
  • Melissa and Bert pressure Sarah to consider that “throwing this in his face” is bad for trust and partnership (16:28, 20:41).
  • Callers share stories of relationship struggles but caution against using once-in-a-lifetime moments as leverage (21:02 – 22:31).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sarah’s Motive:

  • “She’s holding onto it...just to teach him a lesson because of some stuff that's been going on.”
    — Bert (08:25)

• Trying to Rationalize the Punishment:

  • “There’s nothing you can do that deserves that.”
    — Jason (04:38)

• Sarah’s Philosophy:

  • “I’m just going to give back to him exactly what he gives to me, right now.”
    — Sarah (16:21)
  • “This is not the life that I want...I don’t want someone who can’t finish anything.”
    — Sarah (15:43)

• Listener Wisdom:

  • “This situation will stink like a skunk under the coffee table in your living room for the rest of your marriage.”
    — Annette, 21-year married caller (15:00)
  • “Matt is not your child. He is your husband.”
    — Bonnie (17:05)
  • “Punishment does not fit the crime. This is locking him up for five years because he got a jaywalking ticket.”
    — Jeff (20:32)

• Sarah’s Stubbornness:

  • “There’s nothing that we can say to make you change your mind on this?”
    — Bert (22:31)
  • “No. Well, I’m positive that I’m doing the right thing.”
    — Sarah (22:34)

• Ending the Intervention:

  • “Can we call you on Monday, at least, to find out how everything went?...You gotta be honest with us about that.”
    — Bert (23:00)

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Segment 2: “Mindless Movies” — Channel-Surfing Comfort Films

(25:05 – 36:54)

Key Discussion Points

• Why Mindless Movies? (25:05 – 26:13):

  • Bert introduces the segment by confessing his nostalgia for channel-surfing and stumbling upon old, comfort movies—specifically the 80s film Three O’Clock High.
  • Each cast member lists personal “must-stop” films—those they can’t help but watch, no matter how many times they've seen them.

• Top Picked Mindless Movies:

  • Better Off Dead, Real Genius, Lucas, 10 Things I Hate About You, Can’t Hardly Wait, Office Space, The Last Starfighter, Top Secret, Hiding Out
  • Callers add: Revenge of the Nerds, Heaven Help Us, Roller Boogie, Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo, Clueless, Friday, Howard the Duck, Say Anything, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Short Circuit, Can’t Buy Me Love, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Footloose, The Boy Who Could Fly, Weird Science, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, Raising Arizona, My Cousin Vinny, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Little Shop of Horrors, Spaceballs

• Listener Participation & Banter:

  • Callers passionately defend their favorites, sparking playful debate over what truly counts as “mindless.”
  • Jen singles out Clueless and Friday as endlessly re-watchable (31:12).
  • Jeff argues for Ferris Bueller as “the undisputed champion” (33:25).
  • Debate over Footloose — “Just does not stand the test of time...”
    — Bert (33:54)
  • Lighthearted confessions ("pretending pillows were celebrities") add laughter and camaraderie (35:26).

Notable Quotes & Fun Moments

• Bert’s Confession:

  • “Whenever [Three O’Clock High] is on and I’m channel surfing, I absolutely must stop on.”
    — Bert (25:44)

• Iconic Summing Up:

  • “If you have a Super Bowl ticket, you just want to be in the stadium [even] in the nosebleeds!”
    — Bert (14:09)

• On Mindless Movies:

  • “It’s the best quote movie. I mean, it talks about everybody’s life in the office.”
    — Jason & Victoria on Office Space (29:13)
  • “Anything with...Dempsey in it, you gotta watch.”
    — Bert (33:18)

• On Catching Classic Films:

  • “That is a movie you have to stop on.”
    — Bert on My Cousin Vinny (36:04)
  • “Any of the John Hughes movies?”
    — Bert (35:10)

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Key Timestamps for Reference

• 01:33 — Main segment begins, Jason shares marital drama
• 02:34 — The Super Bowl ticket dilemma outlined by Jason
• 08:56 — Sarah (the wife) joins the show, confrontation begins
• 12:11 — Sarah lists the “crimes”: dishes, ice trays, mess
• 14:00 — Discussion of the actual Super Bowl ticket and seat
• 15:00 — Long-married listener calls in with warning
• 16:21 — Sarah asserts her tit-for-tat intention
• 18:05 — Reiterating husband's overall goodness; risk to marriage
• 20:32 — “Punishment does not fit the crime” analysis
• 22:34 — Sarah doubles down, refuses to reconsider
• 25:05 — Mindless movies segment starts
• 26:47–36:54 — Cast and callers name and debate classic comfort movies

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Conclusion

This episode is a perfect capsule of The Bert Show’s signature mix: heated, hilarious engagement with real-life drama followed by playful, nostalgia-fueled group therapy. From listener phone-in wisdom to deep dives into the ethics of marriage “punishments” and the joy of comfort films, this episode offers a bit of catharsis—and a lot of laughs—for anyone looking to escape their morning routine.

Transcript

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[Bert]

Purch the Bird show all right, Jeff, he ready to go?

[Jeff]

Yes, he is on line one.

[Bert]

He is on line one.

[Jeff]

And his name, his name is Jason. And he has the honor of working with what might be the worst wife on the planet Earth.

[Bert]

Good morning, Jason.

[Jason]

What's happening?

[Bert]

When Jeff relayed the story to me, you know, and we were talking about it, I started getting angry about it. So I can understand you working with this woman every day.

[Jason]

This is unbelievable.

[Bert]

Tell everybody the story behind this.

[Jason]

Oh my God. Okay, I first off, I don't even know this chick very well. I kind of overheard this conversation and I sort of talked to other people who know her, and they confirmed what's going on. Apparently this chick Sarah, I work with, right, her husband and friends were going to go out to Houston for the super bowl, but they didn't have tickets to the Super Bowl. They were just going to go hang out. Like, you might go hang out at a Dead concert or something, right? And not go in. Right.

[Jeff]

They just follow football around the country and a bunch of old.

[Jason]

But they just wanted to go for, like, the party, you know? Right. So what I learned, what I overheard, is that there's a ticket now for this Sarah chick's husband, whose name is Matt. I think there's a ticket for him at their house. Somehow one of his other friends or somebody he works with actually got him a ticket to the super bowl and had it sent to his house. But the husband, Matt, is already in Houston. So the deal is that Sarah is supposed to fed exit to her husband in Houston, the Super bowl ticket, right? But check this out. She's not gonna do it because she's, like, pissed off at him or something, because he doesn't, like, do all the stuff he says that she. All the stuff that he says that he's gonna do around the house, he doesn't do it. So she's gonna punish him. But by not sending him the ticket to the super bowl.

[Bert]

And he's already down there, right?

[Jason]

He's already down there.

[Bert]

And all of his other buddies have their tickets.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Jeff]

And he knows he's got a ticket. Like, he's waiting. He's going out and having lunch and drinking some beer and coming back to the hotel and saying, any packages arrived for room 2510?

[Jason]

As far as I know, that is the exact situation.

[Verizon Announcer]

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[Jen]

She hasn't told him yet that she's holding this thing for ransom?

[Jason]

No, but he knows his friend called him and said, listen, I already sent it to your house because I didn't know you'd left yet. So you're. So I sent it to your house and told your wife to fed exit to you to your hotel in Houston, and she's not gonna do it.

[Bert]

Oh, could you imagine? I mean, all this guy, he's been there for a couple of days, he's going to all the parties and all, and he's getting involved in all the hype leading up to the Super Bowl. And come Saturday night, Sunday morning, there's gonna be no ticket for this guy for the game.

[Jeff]

I think you're obligated to kill her and go through the house until you find the ticket.

[Jason]

All because he didn't do the dishes or something.

[Jeff]

Like now.

[Jason]

Ridiculous.

[Bert]

You know, before I pass judgment, I'm trying to think in my mind right now, like, what could this guy have done repeatedly, over and over and over again that she's so ticked off that she's decided this is her line in the sand?

[Jason]

There's nothing you can do that deserves that.

[Melissa]

Well, I'm just trying to think the only. I mean, because that's pretty bad. I, I'm just trying to think like, if here's a guy again, we know we're not talking to either one in the couple, so we're all just speculating but like, you know, trying to play devil's advocate. What if, like, he's the type of guy that he's not doing anything around the house and she has to keep reminding him and he, he doesn't want to pay attention anything in the house, but he has put all his energy and dedication into hanging out with his buddies, going to the Super Bowl. So he's put this energy into this and he doesn't put an energy at home.

[Bert]

Still don't think that 99% of the.

[Jeff]

World going to the Super Bowl. Yeah. Is a once in a. It's like going to game, a World Series, Game 7 or you know, a final four Monday night game.

[Melissa]

Like, I mean, I'm just trying to, you know, it's a once in a lifetime.

[Jeff]

She's doing that regardless of what he has done. If he wants to, if she wants to stay married to him. Like, this is the exception. If he doesn't finish doing the dishes or changing the litter box or whatever crap she's saying.

[Bert]

You talk to him about her side. I mean, if I can hear it is. I've talked to him about it over and over and over again and I don't know how to get his attention. And this is the only way he's gonna take me seriously.

[Melissa]

But here's the problem.

[Jen]

Problem with that whole theory is he's.

[Victoria]

Not going to come home and all.

[Jen]

Of a sudden start washing the dishes because she kept him out of the Super Bowl.

[Jeff]

No, he's not going to come home at all.

[Bert]

I've got two thoughts on this is like we should take some initiative and do one of two things. Either try to track this guy down in Houston.

[Jen]

No.

[Bert]

If we can piece together somehow, some way how to find this guy, or we try to get her on the phone and we make her realize that this is the most idiotic decision that she's ever made in her life.

[Melissa]

I Definitely want to talk to one of the two people involved in the situation.

[Bert]

Do you know enough about this woman to where we could piece some details together and try to get her on the phone over the next 20 minutes or so?

[Jason]

Well, yeah, I mean, I actually got her home phone number from the HR department at work.

[Bert]

So you do have it. All right, so you came to the table equipped today.

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Jason]

I have no idea who her husband is. All I know is his name. I would have no idea how to get hold of him.

[Bert]

Okay, what I'm gonna do, Jason, is I'm gonna put you on hold right now, and I'm gonna have you talk to either producer Jeff or Phil Turana, and we'll get the phone number, and we'll try a little intervention here over the next couple of minutes, okay? This thing's. Besides, what's going on here, crumbling like.

[Jeff]

A piece of chocolate cake.

[Bonnie]

What?

[Bert]

Hold on a second. Victoria.

[Bonnie]

Yes.

[Bert]

I was gonna go into commercials, but you're saying you agree with this woman?

[Bonnie]

It depends. If he's that big of a jerk.

[Victoria]

You know, you never know how big.

[Bonnie]

Of a jerk he's been at home.

[Jen]

That's true.

[Victoria]

I mean, you don't know.

[Bonnie]

Maybe he's not been doing what he needs to do with the kids. Maybe he's not servicing correctly at home. And she's been talking and talking about getting help or doing. You never know what extent it's gotten to. And maybe she's just trying to open up the conversation and get his attention.

[Bert]

There's gotta be a better way than. There's gotta be a better way than that.

[Bonnie]

Oh, some guys deserve it.

[Victoria]

I don't think so.

[Bert]

Me neither. I'd be livid. All right, before we speculate, let's try to get her on the phone, and at least maybe she'll come on with us. We'll hear her side. I want to hear.

[Melissa]

I want to hear it from the couple.

[Bert]

And then we'll do some serious intervention if we need to.

[Jason]

All right?

[Bert]

We'll try to get her on the phone. We'll have her on next, hopefully the bird show. We're gonna get Sarah, the wife, who we truly believe is the worst wife in the world on the phone here in just a couple of seconds. This guy Jason called us up a couple of minutes ago and told us that he works with this woman, and her husband is down in Houston this week, and he's got buddies that are coming in from all over the country to all party together this week in Houston and then go see the game on Sunday, but they sent his ticket to his house. So he doesn't have it down in Texas right now. The wife has it here in Atlanta, and she's holding onto it, and she's planning on not sending it to Houston just to teach him a lesson because of some stuff that's been going on.

[Jen]

Around the house or not going on because he's not holding up his end of the bargain, like with house projects or whatever.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

And I think it's important to point out because, of course, Super Bowl's been here in Atlanta, and anybody that tries to score a Super bowl ticket, you know how difficult it is to get a ticket to that game, because that game is really not for the average Joe to walk in and get a ticket. I mean, it takes a lot of work and know a lot of people to get a ticket.

[Jeff]

At the super bowl. Tickets this week were going on ebay for up to eight grand.

[Bert]

Is that right?

[Jeff]

Eight grand.

[Bert]

All right, so her name is Sarah, and she's been cool enough to actually come on with us this morning. Hey, Sarah. Hey. Hi.

[Melissa]

Hey, Sarah.

[Sarah]

How are you guys?

[Bert]

I'm good. This is Bert, and this is Melissa and Jen and Jeff, and this is the Burt show on all the hits. Q100.

[Sarah]

Hey, what's up?

[Bert]

Hi. Thank you for coming on with us.

[Bonnie]

Sure.

[Bert]

All right. We're kind of seething. We're kind of, like, ready to pounce. Or we can look at this as an intervention.

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Or you might be right, and we might be crazy, and that might be a Billy Joel song.

[Bert]

Sarah, your co worker Jason called us up earlier this morning, and he was telling us that we think that you have a really bad plan going down for your husband at the Super Bowl. He told us that your husband's down there right now, and he's with a whole bunch of friends, and everybody has their ticket except him, and. And you have his ticket, but you've decided to hold out on him and not send it down there to teach him a lesson.

[Sarah]

That's right.

[Bert]

So that's all accurate.

[Jen]

So Jason just, like, overheard you telling friends at the office this story.

[Sarah]

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure people at the office have been talking about it, especially guys, you know, because people have given me a hard time about it.

[Bert]

But we're all trying to think what possibly he could have done over and over and over again for you to take such a drastic action like this. Because this is. I mean, this is really gonna be hurtful. You know that.

[Sarah]

Oh, you know what? I do know that, but that's, you know, unfortunately, the situation that he's presented for himself. You know what I mean?

[Melissa]

Well, not really. That's what we're calling you. What is the situation?

[Sarah]

Well, I mean, okay, I love him. He's great. I've been married a year and a half to him.

[Jeff]

Now, just so you know, what you're selling into. Burt is standing back from the microphone. Like, there's this pad on the floor that's, like, in front of the microphone. He's off the pad, sparring with the microphone. Like, if he steps on the pad, he won't be able to hold back and he'll yell at you. So he's standing actually away from the.

[Bert]

Trying to keep an open mind, though, and hear what his track record is here, his resume.

[Sarah]

You know, there are two sides to every story. But, you know, I've been married a year and a half to him. And he's great in every way, except when it comes to, I guess, like, you know, adult house responsibilities. He really can't figure it out. And that's just a huge part of a marriage, in my opinion, and a huge part of a life with someone. But, you know, no one really understands what it's like to live with him. He basically. He starts things and doesn't finish them.

[Jen]

Like, what are we talking about? What kind of.

[Sarah]

He can't finish anything.

[Jen]

What kind of projects are we talking about him not finishing around the house, off the bat?

[Sarah]

Okay, we have a loose tile in the entryway, okay? And we've had it since we bought the place. It's a loose tile. It drives me nuts.

[Jeff]

Here goes Bert again, off the mat.

[Melissa]

What else?

[Jen]

You gotta make it better than a loose tile.

[Sarah]

He won't fix it. He started work on the porch, on the back porch. Doesn't fix. I mean, never finishes it.

[Bert]

So what?

[Jen]

So what?

[Sarah]

I understand two or three things. You know, I've actually got, like, a full list of things. You know, he never does the dishes. We will finish dinner. He'll put his dishes by the sink and doesn't wash them.

He'll go to the freezer and use up all the ice cubes of the ice cube trays and never refills them. He'll leave out his tools to fix something, and he just leaves them out, you know, And I end up picking them up. He can never, ever keep his office or the garage clean. It's. It's like a pigsty. It's disgusting.

[Melissa]

Sarah, let me stop you for a second. Let me ask you why first of all, I want the history of the conversations you've had with him based on this and his reaction to it and then why you chose this weekend and the super bowl to put punishment on him. Okay, so have you spoken with him about these items that you've listed? And what has his response been on that?

[Sarah]

Constantly. We speak about it. His big thing is, you know what? You know I love you, but, you know, I'm sorry, I just. I don't have time. I got, you know. Oh, my God, I got so busy, I forgot. That's the big thing. I'm just. I'm sorry. I'm so busy. I just forgot. I forgot to refill this or I forgot to do the dishes or I forgot to work on the porch or everything. You know, he's supposed to, like, he'll. My mom will call and she'll need some help at the house, and he'll say, oh, definitely, you know, I'll go to your mom's place and do it.

[Bert]

Okay, you can kind of stop with the history, because we get it. Okay. He's kind of irresponsible. He starts projects he doesn't finish, and.

[Melissa]

You'Ve talked to him about it and he doesn't respond.

[Bert]

Okay, so that's the history here.

[Jen]

And this man is a faithful husband to you and treats you with respect.

[Sarah]

Yes. And he.

[Jeff]

Would you consider him. Other than the errands, would you consider him a good husband?

[Sarah]

Absolutely.

[Melissa]

So why. Again, my question, why this weekend?

[Sarah]

Because nothing else will get through to him to make him see that this is going to affect me in the marriage in the long run.

[Bert]

You are gonna lose this guy. You are gonna lose a great.

[Jeff]

The ticket in front of you. Or. Do you know what kind of seat it is in the arena in Houston?

[Sarah]

It's in a. What they. I guess a corporate section.

[Bert]

It's gonna be a good seat. It doesn't even matter. I mean, if you have a Super bowl ticket, you just want to be.

[Jen]

In the stadium and the nosebleeds. I'd still be just as mad. I don't think this is gonna change his behavior. I think it's going to really damage your relationship.

[Sarah]

I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't see any other way to get through to him. And, you know, the big thing is, I know he's gonna. He's gonna wanna know why and how it happened and this and that. And I really plan on saying exactly what he always says to me, which is, you know, what I'm So sorry, I'm too busy. I completely forgot. I completely forgot to send them to you.

[Jeff]

Do you know what corporate section or where it is?

[Sarah]

No, it's a corporate section. I know nothing about it. He told me it's like 12 rows back off the 40 yard line.

[Bert]

Oh, God. Good morning, Annette.

[Bonnie]

Sarah, you have been married for a year and a half. I have been married for 21 years. Trust me. You keeping your husband's ticket while he's down with his friends causing embarrassment and unnecessary heartache behind some projects that have not been completed. He's only been married to you a year and a half, remember? A year before this, he didn't even have projects. Give the guy a chance. You give that ticket to the Burt show. Let them call a company that can get that ticket to him before Super Bowl Sunday. This situation will stink like a skunk under the coffee table in your living room for the rest of your marriage. You cannot imagine the kind of harm that you are causing your relationship because you are upset about projects.

[Sarah]

It's a year and a half actual projects. And it has more to do with. This is not the life that I want. I don't want, you know, someone who can't finish anything.

[Victoria]

What's gonna happen when I.

[Bert]

When I want to have.

[Bonnie]

I understand, Sarah, but he will grow into being able to finish those project. He will grow into the husband that you marry. You cannot marry him since they can. Look, those guys that finish projects all the time are the guys that are on the tool show, the handyman show. That's not real life. Everybody's husband doesn't complete a project every time they start it. Give the guy a chance. But this is going to stink in your marriage if you have one after this forever.

[Sarah]

Well, I'm sorry. I've made my decision. I mean, this is. I'm just gonna give back to him exactly what he gives to me right now.

[Melissa]

Sarah, Sarah, I mean, honest, honestly. I mean, my concern is the fact, like you said, this is not what I want. There is no I in a relationship. I'm sorry. You have committed to this man, he's committed to you. And it's about compromise. And I think the fact that you're gonna make such a stance on the woman that just calls married 21 years. If you go through with this, you won't be married to this guy for 21 years.

[Sarah]

Well, you know what he has thought about I. You know what I mean? So now I'm gonna show him what it's like when I think about I.

[Melissa]

And then hopefully that's not gonna make a good marriage.

[Bert]

Hey, you're on all the hits Q1. Hunter, try to talk some sense into Sarah here.

[Bonnie]

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Matt is not your child. He is your husband. Okay? And I'm going to tell you one thing. It's one book called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. You married a man. That's the first thing you got to realize.

[Sarah]

2.

[Bonnie]

I used to do that. We've been married for a year. We've known each other for 11 years, but we've been married for a year. I nagged and nagged and nagged. I'm telling you, you stop nagging and you'll get your results. Because he is more scared of me not saying anything than me saying something. Oh. When I be quiet, he tells his friend, oh, God, I'm in trouble.

[Jeff]

Something's brewing.

[Bonnie]

He freaks out if I'm.

[Jeff]

It's like when you. It's like when you come home late at night after curfew and your dad's sitting in the living room and he just looks at you and shakes his head and goes up to bed.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

Like, you don't sleep at all that night. Cause you know some sort of insane ass whooping's coming tomorrow.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bonnie]

If you gotta realize, he left the house. It's not like he took off the toilet to replace it. And that's the only toilet she had and didn't put it back on. She has a house. She is well taken care of.

[Bert]

And you've said. You have said here, right, Sarah, that he's great in every other way.

[Victoria]

Yes.

[Bert]

Every other way. You love this guy. He's perfect.

[Sarah]

You know what I think? I think it's hard because people don't understand. It's not like I want to do this, but I really.

[Melissa]

You're such a parent, Sarah.

[Jeff]

I think.

[Sarah]

I'm sorry. I'm too busy. I forgot. And I just. I really feel that I need to throw that back in his face at this point because I'm sick of it.

[Jeff]

What. What is the last. Like, your last memory of him, either good or bad? Like, has he done something really nice for you lately? Or has he done something, like, really bad? Like what. What's the last. What in your. What is the last really nice thing he did for you?

[Sarah]

The last really nice thing he did for me. He came home with. I love white roses. Those are my favorite.

[Jeff]

How long ago?

[Sarah]

Maybe, like two and a half weeks ago.

[Jeff]

What was the occasion?

[Sarah]

There was no occasion.

[Bert]

What are you doing? What are you doing, woman?

[Jeff]

He Brings you flowers for no reason less than three weeks ago.

[Bonnie]

Mm.

[Sarah]

He was also supposed to, like, right before he left, he was supposed to go to my mom's and help her with something in the house.

[Melissa]

Oh, my.

[Sarah]

Okay. And he didn't go. He's been putting it off. She's been asking for a very long time.

[Bert]

Okay, hold on, Jen.

[Jeff]

What were you saying?

[Jen]

I can't handle it. I can't handle it.

[Bonnie]

I want to strangle her.

[Bert]

You know what? You're not alone in this, though, Sarah, because at least Bonnie here agrees with you. Hey, Bonnie.

[Bonnie]

Hey, guys.

[Victoria]

Hey, Sarah.

[Bonnie]

I do agree with you because I have a husband who. And I've been married 10 years now, and I have a husband who. I get the constant. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. And unfortunately, the super bowl is a once.

[Jeff]

It's a once in a lifetime. Twelve rows off the field. That's not.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, that's a golden freaking ticket. But her side is, this is everyday life. And men get treated like their children, as you guys said earlier, and they get all these allowances and all these opportunities, and the women in the marriage have to do all the responsible things, and it's okay.

[Bert]

I'm not saying it's right, what he's doing. What I'm saying is her course of action is so harsh that she is gonna ruin her relationship with a really good guy.

[Melissa]

This is an inappropriate time to try to bring this point up.

[Bert]

This is shock. Shock and awe is what. This is. Super bowl shock and awe, what you're doing.

[Jeff]

Punishment does not fit the crime.

[Bert]

Right.

[Jeff]

This is locking him up for five years because he got a jaywalking ticket.

[Bonnie]

Right.

[Sarah]

But you're not in the marriage, so you can't really.

[Victoria]

Sarah.

[Melissa]

Sarah, honey. You said nobody understands. I think every married couple understands what you're saying. You've only been married a year and a half, and when you hear women call you up who have been married for 21 years, there's a reason they've been married for 21 years. And I'm telling you, if you say because it bothers me that you even use the word, I'm going to throw this in his face. That relationship won't last.

[Bert]

Andrea, you're on all the hits. Q100. You're the last call. Because there's. Like she said, there's nothing that we can say over the next three hours to make her change her mind. Go ahead, Andrea.

[Bonnie]

Sarah, honey, let me tell you something. I've been married for 10 years. I have two daughters.

Not quite eight years ago, six weeks after my second child was born, my husband had an affair. A minor little thing.

He had tickets to a nascar. Once in a lifetime chance to drive an official NASCAR race car. He left the day that I found out. Had I done what you're proposing to do to your husband, I wouldn't be married. And mind you, we're happily married now.

[Bert]

So what you're saying even if this guy screwed around?

[Melissa]

Well, I would have. Now I have to disagree with her.

[Bert]

I would have held the ticket.

[Melissa]

My spouse screwed around, he ain't getting the ticket.

[Bert]

Yeah, I think I got to go with you on that.

[Bonnie]

Where it goes with the fact that, you know, you have children involved at this point.

[Melissa]

Well, he should look at the fact he had children, didn't have the affair, but that's a whole different story.

[Bonnie]

But no, I agree. But what my point is, is that what she is proposing to do is so ridiculously stupid. She's gonna cost herself, her marriage, her life. It's not going to be the same. He will never forget this, ever. Even if he decides to stay.

[Bert]

You're right.

[Bonnie]

He will never, ever forget it.

[Victoria]

Right.

[Bonnie]

Ten years down the road, if they're absolutely still together, miraculously, he will never forget it.

[Bert]

Sarah, there's nothing that we can say to make you change your mind on this.

[Sarah]

No. Well, I'm positive that I'm doing the right thing.

[Melissa]

I hope you enjoyed the year and a half you were married.

[Bert]

Yeah. I mean, because now if he finds out what you're going to do, he's going to end up getting a ticket and there's going to be no lesson learned here whatsoever. And he's going to. I mean, he's already going to be upset. So you're gonna. You're gonna lose on a bunch of different accounts here. Can we call you on Monday at least find out how everything went? You gotta be honest with us about that. Yeah, okay. Okay.

[Melissa]

Well, Sarah, we do appreciate you coming on and talking to us and taking the phone calls.

[Jen]

Sure.

[Bert]

All right, hold on one sec. We'll get all your information. We'll call you on Monday. Okay?

[Bonnie]

Okay.

[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Verizon Announcer]

This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on my plan and a brand new smartwatch and table. No trade in needed even on our lowest price plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you. Or two for you and one for someone else. Or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts. At Verizon. All on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on root Metric Truth score report dated 1 each 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.

[Bert]

Dreaming of getting the all new iPhone 17 Pro designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever?

[Victoria]

Then stay in bed and let a Boost Mobile expert deliver and set it up for you.

[Bert]

Oh actually they will have to get.

[Jeff]

Up and open the do oh right.

[Bert]

Delivery available for select devices purchased@boost mobile.com terms apply. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season can be exhausting with all the parties and the end of year celebrations, but don't forget to take care of yourself by stocking up on your favorite nutritional products. Now through December 30th. Shop in store and online and save on items like Cliff Snack Bars, Luna Bars, Boost Nutritional Energy Drinks, Premier Protein Shakes, Z Bar Variety Packs, Open Nature Powder and Body Fortress Protein powder offers end December 30th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to.

[Victoria]

The big man up north.

[Bert]

And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can.

[Victoria]

Give someone is the gift of Mint.

[Bert]

Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a try at Mint Mobile.

[Verizon Announcer]

Upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com.

[Bert]

I was working on the show over the weekend and I told you guys I haven't been diagnosed with it, but I know I've got ADD because there's no way that I can focus on one thing for more than two minutes. So while I'm working on the show on Sunday, I have the TV on and I'm like not even watching. But I'm channel surfing but I'm not even watching what's going on. And every now and then I'll look over at the tv, then I look over at the computer and I look over at the TV and I stop in my tracks when an old 80s movie comes on called Three O' Clock High. Now you're gonna have to be old school to remember this, this movie. Do you remember it? You do?

[Jeff]

Waiting. Waiting for the fight that's right.

[Bert]

This total geek ticks off the school bully and the whole movie is about how this guy tries to get out of the fight. It's a cheesy 80s, funny, mindless movie and it's all about the bully wanting to kick his butt at 3 o' clock and the bully ends up like knocking out the principal and knocking out the sheriff. And the bully finally gets his butt kicked at the end of the movie. But it's just one of those mindless 80s flicks that whenever it's on and I'm channel surfing, I absolutely must stop on.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

All right, so what I did was I put together the top ten mindless movies of all time. All right. Okay, you guys ever see a movie called North Shore? Dude from Arizona wins a surf competition in a surf pool and they send them to Hawaii and he ends up winning like a professional surfing tournament. You guys never saw that one? All right, that's, that's an old school one.

[Jen]

Also definitely not on the all time top 10 list. I'll have to rebut that one.

[Bert]

Maybe a west coast one. Better off dead.

[Victoria]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert]

Come on, man.

[Melissa]

My favorite all times.

[Bert]

If that thing is on TV and you are channel surfing, you are stopping on John Cusack. Is that the one with I want my $2?

[Melissa]

Yes, I want my $2. And then of course, you know, he's got his part time job at the burger place and he fantasizes about the Van Halen song and the burgers turn into these claymation, you know, man burger, woman burger and the romance and it. I love that movie.

[Bert]

Great movie. True genius.

[Victoria]

I don't know that.

[Jeff]

Real genius.

[Bert]

Real genius. Yeah, real genius with Val Kilmer.

[Melissa]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Great movie, Lucas.

[Melissa]

Oh, see that was, that was Charlie Sheen and the.

[Bert]

What was that little kid's name? Corey something.

[Melissa]

Corey, the one of the two names.

[Bert]

If Lucas comes on. You never saw that movie, Jen?

[Jen]

No.

[Bert]

Oh, he's like this little itty bitty guy and he's trying to get the chick and he drives football team and.

[Melissa]

Charlie Sheen's like the star football player and.

[Bert]

Yeah, 10 things I hate about you.

[Jen]

Oh, yes.

[Victoria]

That's not 80s, that's 90s.

[Bert]

These don't have to be 80s.

[Melissa]

Okay.

[Jen]

Yeah, this could be 80s.

[Verizon Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jen]

None of mine are 80s.

[Bert]

Okay, 10 things I hate about you.

[Jeff]

2002.

[Jen]

You know those old movies from last year.

[Bert]

And I also put can't hardly wait on that on that list.

[Melissa]

Love that movie.

[Bert]

Yes.

[Melissa]

I think that's the only time I've ever liked Jennifer Love Hewitt was in.

[Jen]

That movie, that was a good one.

[Bert]

Can't hardly win. What would be on your list?

[Melissa]

Well, I put another Val Kilmer in because, again, this is mindless. And it's one that I would never choose to rent or choose to watch. But then when it's on, I just kind of like, huh, is that top secret? It's like the predecessor to Airplane, where he's like, the secret agent is like a goofy thing. So that. I think that was one of Val Kilmer's first movies. But now this one, I love this. And then this taps into my whole sci fi thing. Do you remember the Last Starfighter? The kid who lives in the trailer park and they have an arcade game in the trailer park.

Then he's sent into space by the guy that played the Music Man. What's that guy? You know, a Victor Victoria guy. And he comes in a trench coat and top hat and he sends him out to space and he becomes the last Starfighter to help this other guy.

[Bert]

I've never seen it. Never seen it.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God.

[Victoria]

Yeah.

[Melissa]

This trailer park kid lives a video game. So anyway, Last Starfighter, Office Space.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Victoria]

That's all.

[Bert]

It's happening. You have said that movie before, and I have never seen it.

[Melissa]

It is mindless. It's Jennifer Aniston's first feature film and hilarious. And it's on like, it's. It's on cable right now.

[Bert]

Hey, Derek, you agree with that?

[Jason]

Oh, gosh, yes. It's the best quote movie.

[Victoria]

I mean, it talks about everybody's life in the office.

[Jason]

If you work in, like a cubicle space area.

[Jen]

Exactly. It's like, yeah, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday.

[Victoria]

Yeah, that'd be great, boss.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it is a great movie. And then just one more that this is almost makes me mad because, I mean, because I don't like to sit and watch it. But you remember hiding out with Jon Cryer where he was the adult that went back in the high school he was hiding out for from songs.

[Bert]

Did that come out right after, like, Pretty in Pink? Wasn't he. Wasn't he Ducky in Pretty in Pink?

[Jen]

Okay.

[Melissa]

Came after. After Pretty in Pink. And he. For some reason. Because if he does his hair in different color, like, didn't he do pink? You know, pink in the 80s when you do the slash of color in your hair and thought that was cool? Well, you know, somehow he's gonna shave his beard and put pink in his hair and get him back into high school in his late 20s, and somehow nobody's Gonna notice. So.

[Bert]

Hey, Jamie, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Bonnie]

Good morning, guys.

[Bert]

Hi.

[Bonnie]

Greatest mindless movie of all time, Revenge of the Nerd.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah. I do like that movie. I do. The first one was great.

[Melissa]

Oh, yeah, the pies. Yeah.

[Bert]

All right. Great one. Hey, Stephanie. Hey.

[Bonnie]

Have you ever heard of a movie called Heaven Help Us? It has Andrew McCarthy and Kevin Dillon where they're in a Catholic school back in the. I think, the 50s.

[Melissa]

Yes.

[Bonnie]

And at the end, they end up getting in a fight with the priest.

[Sarah]

And.

[Bonnie]

And it's awesome. I don't know.

[Melissa]

That's such a mindless movie.

[Bonnie]

No, but it's a classic that every time it's on, you're like, okay, I'm not moving.

[Bert]

Gotta watch it.

[Melissa]

Yeah, it's.

[Bert]

Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Bonnie]

Have y' all ever seen Roller Boogie with Linda Blair?

[Bert]

Roller Boogie?

No.

[Bonnie]

I think it came out around 39 and 80, and my sisters and I used to watch it all the time. Like when I roller skated.

[Victoria]

Roller Lynn.

[Bert]

Is that. Yeah. I'll tell you, another one that comes on in the same kind of vein is Electric Boogaloo.

[Victoria]

Oh, yes.

[Melissa]

Breaking two. Electric Boogaloo.

[Bert]

Electric Boogaloo's gotta be on the list. You got a couple of these, Jen. Yes.

[Jen]

You know what's on the top of my list is Clueless, the one with Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd is in it, and he's. I will get sucked into that every single time. And another one is Friday, you know, with.

[Bert]

Oh, that is a funny.

[Jen]

Friday is a freaking funny movie. And it's just mindless. I mean, there is nothing to it.

[Victoria]

But it's freaking hilarious.

[Jen]

Those two are definitely at the top of my list. And then what Melissa said.

[Victoria]

Office Space.

[Jen]

Oh, love it.

[Bert]

Hey, Amy, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Bonnie]

Hey there. Good morning.

[Victoria]

Okay, my ultimate, top favorite mindless movie.

[Bonnie]

Is Howard the Duck. I get sucked into it.

[Melissa]

Oh, my God. Oh, really?

[Bert]

Because to me, that's one of the worst movies that I've ever seen in my life.

[Sarah]

I know, but.

[Bonnie]

Oh, my God. Do you not watch it every time it's on, honey?

[Melissa]

I mean, no. What was that actress's name in it? And she said, leah Thompson sleeps with a duck in the movie.

[Verizon Announcer]

I'm kidding.

[Bonnie]

How mindless is that?

[Melissa]

I mean, it is mindless. That is true.

[Bert]

Hi. Q100.

[Sarah]

Hey.

[Bonnie]

How are y'? All? Good, Good. I had say anything with John Cusack.

[Bert]

Oh, that is not mindless. That is pure gold.

[Bonnie]

That is the best movie of all time.

[Bert]

That is pure gold.

[Bonnie]

Him with the boombox outside the girls.

[Bert]

Window or out in front of the sip and serve talking to all the loser guys about how he should be picking up on more chicks.

[Bonnie]

Exactly, exactly.

[Melissa]

And I love his friend who writes all the songs for ex boyfriend.

[Victoria]

You know, if you guys know so.

[Bert]

Much about chicks, why are you sitting outside the sippin serve on a Friday night? You have any of these?

[Jeff]

Yeah, my top five is in backwards order. Five would be Learning to Drive.

[Jen]

I don't know that one.

[Melissa]

Was that Bill Murray's younger brother in that or is that a different movie?

[Jeff]

Oh, I don't know. Learning to drive is with. I think it had both of the Coreys in it. And it's when the guy gets his license and he starts take out the hot chick.

[Bert]

I did see this.

[Jeff]

Four would be any of the National Lampoons, Especially the first one.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Jeff]

Three Camp or Short Circuit.

[Melissa]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Jeff]

And he's any movie with a song by DeBarge in it.

[Bert]

Hey Johnny, he said, and he tried to look the other way.

I still like that song.

[Jeff]

2 would be can't Buy me Love.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Oh, anything with. With that dude Dempsey in it. Is anything with him in it? You gotta watch.

[Jeff]

And the number one, and I can't believe nobody said this. And this is definitely the undisputed champion. And I challenge anyone to beat it. Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[Bert]

Yeah, always once.

[Jen]

Yeah, sucks. You right.

[Bert]

I will at least watch it all the way up until the parade scene where he sings Dankosha and then I'll take off.

[Melissa]

I just love when his friend is in bed and he thinks he's dying. I just love watching him get in the car.

[Victoria]

I'm not going. I'm not going.

[Melissa]

You know, I just.

[Victoria]

Yeah, I love it.

[Bert]

Good morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Bonnie]

Hey, good morning.

[Bert]

Morning.

[Bonnie]

I can't believe no one said this. Footloose with Kevin Bacon.

[Bert]

Footloose. We've debated Footloose before. This is a movie to me that just does not stand the test of time. Like it was great back in the day, but you watch it now and you're like, how cheesy is this thing?

[Victoria]

But I mean, I have it on.

[Bonnie]

Video that I taped off of TV back when I was in like my first high school. And I watch it all the time.

[Jen]

I love it.

[Melissa]

We can't start debating the intellect of these movies because I mean, again, Last Starfighter, I'm playing a video game and all of a sudden I'm in space. But I'll sit and watch it.

[Jeff]

Does anybody remember the movie about the kid who was. There was something wrong with him, but could fly. Was it called the Boy who Could Fly?

[Bert]

I don't remember.

[Melissa]

I don't know.

[Jen]

I think I remember.

[Jeff]

And the girl lived next door to him, and he used to stare at her through the window. And at first it spooked her, but then she started to like him. Then they ended up on the roof together. In the whole neighborhood. Cause there's a. You know, of course, when they end up on the roof together, there's a neighborhood picnic in the backyard of the house and the roof they're on. So, you know, everybody looks and goes, oh, my God, they're on the roof. And everybody points. And then he takes her hand and they fly away.

[Bert]

It's based on a true story, you know. Oh, here's another one. Weird Science. You remember Weird Science always sucks you in? Morning, all. It hits Q100.

[Jason]

Hey, how's it going?

[Bert]

Good, T.C. what's going on?

[Victoria]

All right.

[Jason]

The Breakfast Club.

[Bert]

Yeah. See, to me, that's mindless.

[Jeff]

I never got into any of those movies.

[Verizon Announcer]

Really?

[Bert]

Any of the John Hughes movies?

[Jeff]

None of them. I think they came out at a time where I was too focused on pretending my pillow was Blair from Facts of Life, and I was making.

[Melissa]

Oh, well, Sixteen Candles. Anytime that comes on, I am so. I will watch 16 candles the whole way.

[Bert]

Pretty in Pink is another one.

[Victoria]

Have you ever made out with a.

[Jeff]

Pillow and pretended it was Blair from Facts of Life? Yeah, I did a lot more than make out with it.

[Victoria]

I pretended it was.

[Jen]

I pretended my pillow was a new kid on the block.

[Bert]

Did you?

[Jeff]

My guess is my pillow is still fertile.

[Bert]

The last place you want to bring a black light.

[Victoria]

Exactly.

[Bert]

Hey, Tommy.

[Jason]

Hey.

[Bert]

Hey, man. Finish it off for us. Raising Arizona, a classic, classic, mystery, mindless movie. That is a great movie, man.

[Jen]

Yep.

[Bert]

Thanks for calling. Okay, man.

[Jen]

Bye. Bye.

[Bert]

Oh, no, this one. I don't know if this one somehow fits into this category. Hey, Rita.

[Bonnie]

Hey.

[Bert]

Mindless movie.

[Bonnie]

My Cousin Vinny.

[Bert]

That is a good one, too. That is a movie you have to stop on. Yeah.

[Victoria]

Yeah. That's one of my favorites.

[Melissa]

When she's on the porch and she's talking about her biological clock and she's stomping on the porch. It's a great movie.

[Bert]

Hey, Rhonda.

[Sarah]

Hey. I'm gonna show my age, but Fast.

[Victoria]

Times at Ridgemont High.

[Bert]

I got the dvd. It's great.

[Bonnie]

It's awesome.

[Bert]

Thank you.

[Victoria]

Thanks.

[Bert]

Morning. All the hits. Q100.

Hello?

[Sarah]

Hello?

[Bonnie]

Hey, Hello. I got a movie for you.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Bonnie]

Little Shop of Horrors.

[Bert]

Little Shop of Horrors.

[Melissa]

I have seen that.

[Victoria]

Yeah?

[Bert]

Any good?

[Melissa]

It's okay.

[Jeff]

You've never seen it.

[Jen]

Mindless.

[Jeff]

Really?

[Bert]

Never seen it. Morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Jason]

I can't believe you guys haven't mentioned it yet. It's the spoof of Star Wars Spaceballs.

[Bert]

Totally mindless and stupid.

[Victoria]

That's a great movie.

[Bert]

Totally mindless.

Thanks, Corey. See you, man. Hey, the Bird Show.

[Verizon Announcer]

This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on my plan and a brand new smartwatch and tablet. No trade in needed, even on our lowest price point plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you. Or two for you and one for someone else. Or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts at Verizon. All on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on root metric truth score report dated 1 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.

[Melissa]

Hannah Burner.

[Victoria]

Are those the cozy Tommy John pajamas you're buying, Paige de Sorbo?

[Bert]

They are Tommy John.

[Victoria]

And yes, I'm stocking up because they make the best holiday gift gifts. So generous.

[Bert]

Well, I'm a generous girly, especially when.

[Sarah]

It comes to me.

[Victoria]

So I'm grabbing the softest sleepwear, comfiest underwear and best fitting loungewear. So nothing for your bestie? Of course.

[Bert]

I'm getting my dad Tommy John.

[Victoria]

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