The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 – January 13, 2026 [Vault]

Main Theme Overview

This episode of The Bert Show delivers its signature blend of humor and authenticity while exploring topics ranging from karmic revenge on exes to an in-depth, awkward “second date update.” The cast—Bert, Jen, Lauryn, Jeff, Lisa, and others—invite listeners into tales of relationship drama, breakups, personal growth, and cringe-inducing dating missteps. Laughter and candid real talk abound, making the show a dynamic, relatable escape.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sweet Revenge: Running Into Your Ex When You've "Upgraded"

Timestamps: [01:41]–[12:27]

• Opening Topic: Is it possible to stay friends with an ex? Most admit the real temptation is wanting to come out “on top” after a breakup.

  • “I never wanted to know she was doing better after our breakup…I want you to be miserable after our breakup. I want you to think I’m the best you can do.” – Jen [01:41]
  • “I think it depends on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee.” – Bert [02:33]

• A VIP Scenario: Bert tells a story about his friend running into her ex three and a half years after a bad breakup—now married, rocking a huge diamond, and having VIP access at a Kid Rock concert as he’s stuck in the crowd.

  • “That’s my ex-boyfriend who dumped me three and a half years ago…She was like, yes, this is the best thing that could have ever happened.” – Bert [04:11]

• Listener Call-ins: “Upgrade” Moments

  • Jessica’s Story [06:02]: Her fiancé proposed to her at a Braves game, five rows in front of her rude high school ex.
    • “My boyfriend dropped down on one knee and he was about five rows in front of us.” – Jessica [06:34]
    • Cast: “Beautiful.” - Jen [06:43]
  • Kimberly’s Story [07:02]: Her ex reappears years later at her husband’s restaurant, tries to woo a hostess (Kimberly’s mom is also working there), but the awkwardness ends with everyone realizing the connections and the ex fleeing.
    • “I start cracking up. I don’t know what to do. And my husband is standing there just going, who are all these people?” – Jessica [09:54]
  • Host Story: Jeff runs into his “Antichrist” ex (who cheated with his best friend), after becoming a radio host—she attends his event, and he gets to make a cool, professional exit.
    • “I have to say that it felt pretty good…when she has to roll into town and be faced by me. Cheater. Burn.” – Jeff [11:18]
  • Another Listener: Married the town sheriff, who later arrested her ex.
    • “He was the one that had to put the dude in the back of the car and all.” – Jen [11:29]
  • Host Anecdote: Bert reveals a time her band-member boyfriend (now husband) pulled up to a club—his ex was the valet.
    • “So he has to actually get in the car and park it for us.” – Bert [12:01]

2. Second Date Update: Lisa & Stan—From Flirtation to Stalker Vibes

Timestamps: [14:38]–[33:41]

Set-up

• Lisa’s Predicament: Lisa recounts what seemed like a great first date—lots of chemistry, a fun night, and then a week of phone calls and planning for a Tom Petty concert at Music Midtown. When she arrives at Stan’s to pick him up, he won’t answer the door, even though she suspects he’s home.
  • “I go knock on the door and he never answers…But I can see that he’s in there.” – Lisa [16:09]

The Panel Digs In

• Hosts probe Lisa for more details: frequency and nature of the calls, who initiated.
  • “Did you guys just exchange messages or did you actually talk?...How many phone calls were there?” – Jen, Jeff, Lauryn [17:57, 19:10]
  • Lisa admits: “I think it was pretty much me calling him.” [19:57]
• The show is skeptical: was Lisa’s intensity overwhelming for Stan?
  • “That just sounds to me like a lot.” – Bert [19:29]

The Confrontation: Stan’s Side

• Stan is brought onto the show for direct answers.
• He describes feeling overwhelmed by 40+ phone calls in a week, including late-night drunken declarations of love from Lisa—after a single date.
  • “She called my house about 40 times…wanting to talk to me as she is falling asleep and won’t let me get off the phone…And Wednesday night she goes out…calls me at like midnight and she’s drunk and she’s saying, ‘I love you.’” – Stan [24:13]

Lisa’s Reaction & Reflection

• Lisa denies some elements (the “I love you” call), but doesn’t argue she was calling a lot.
  • “I don’t remember calling him on Wednesday. I don’t remember telling him I love him.” – Lisa [25:54]
• Bert is incredulous: “I’m a little embarrassed to share the gender that you and I share…You became quickly obsessed.” [27:20, 27:43]
• Lisa: “But he liked it.” [27:49]
• The panel cautions: This behavior is alarming and would be concerning if the roles were reversed.

Tough Love from Cast and Listeners

• Listeners call in, echoing the hosts’ concern for Lisa’s “stalker-ish” persistence.
  • “That is craziness…You do not act like that as a grown woman. That is ridiculous.” – Listener [32:02]
• Lisa reflects, grudgingly accepts calling less would be wiser.
  • “I probably wouldn’t call as often.” – Lisa [33:27]
• The panel gives advice:
  • “How about not at all and let the guy pursue you.” – Bert [33:34]
  • “A little wakey wakey and a little nighty nighty. That’s fine.” – Lauryn [33:37]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There may be a split second where you’re like, ugh, for him. But then there’s the karma train, man.” – Jen [12:17]
• “If you don’t want to go out with me, that’s fine, but don’t tell me we’re going to go out and…you pretend I’m not knocking on your door.” – Lisa [17:05]
• “You turn into a stalker. Do you realize that?” – Jeff [31:14]
• “I can’t start the week like this. Seriously, Bert, it’s Monday. I can’t handle the stupidity.” – Jen [30:29]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Breakup “Upgrades” and Sweet Revenge: [01:41]–[12:27]
• Second Date Update (Lisa & Stan): [14:38]–[33:41]
  • Lisa’s Story: [14:52]–[22:28]
  • Stan’s Explanation: [22:52]–[25:49]
  • Panel’s Aftermath & Listener Calls: [25:49]–[33:41]

General Tone

Lighthearted, supportive, and at times, brutally honest. The Bert Show crew keep the conversation real and funny while not shying away from dishing out affectionate “tough love.” Audience participation—through calls and shared stories—makes it communal and engaging, even when things get awkward.

Conclusion

This episode brings listeners a relatable balance of schadenfreude (“winning” the breakup), comedic warning tales about going too hard after a single date, and the comfort of knowing we all feel a little foolish sometimes. The Bert Show’s candidness and banter make it a must-listen for anyone interested in dating stories, life lessons, and a healthy dose of radio therapy.