Bert (1:22)

And there's nothing worse either. When you're standing there, I'm assuming it's the same for you all. So when you're standing at the baggage carousel and then all of that luggage comes off and then more and more and more, then you have the first thought, oh, my God, they lost it. And then, pathetically, you're just standing there while there's no more luggage coming into that thing.

Rihanna (1:39)

Right. Well, they keep saying it's coming, it's coming, but hopefully it comes. I really hope.

Bert (1:48)

And then after Atlanta, you're heading right on out to the Bahamas.

Rihanna (1:51)

Yeah, we have a show in the Bahamas.

Jen (1:55)

Cool.

Rihanna (1:56)

Kind of a festival kind of thing.

Bert (1:58)

Really fun.

Rihanna (1:58)

Should be fun.

Bert (1:59)

All right. Rihanna on the vert show on Q100.

Interviewer (2:01)

So you're headed out on tour with Kanye West. We just heard, right?

Rihanna (2:04)

Yes.

Interviewer (2:05)

And when does that all get underway?

Rihanna (2:08)

Well, Kanye, he called me one day, and he just. He really kind of sold it to me because I wasn't really sure at first about going on tour. When I heard the lineup, it was kind of more of a urban leading show. But Kanye, he called me. He convinced me to do it. And luckily, he's not one of those rappers that just sticks to urban radio, rhythmic. He crosses over as well. So I was like, you know, I'll do it. I love Kanye love his music, and I love his creativity, so I can only imagine how sick the show is gonna be.

Bert (2:47)

He begged you, didn't he? He begged you to be on this tour. He did.

Rihanna (2:50)

No, he caught me. He really conv. And honestly, he did.

Bert (2:54)

I think he's the kind of guy that if Kanye gets what he wants. So if he had Rihanna on his radar, you know, it was gonna happen.

Rihanna (3:03)

It should be fun, though. It's a really cool theme behind it. Everything is glow in the dark. So they're gonna be some really cool costumes and glow in the dark things on stage.

Bert (3:13)

Cool. It's Rihanna on the Burt show on Q100. And Rihanna, this has all happened so fast for you. You know, like, the first album was released in August of 2005, and we're only two and a half years since you released that first album. And I think it was just last week that US Weekly named you one of the ten most powerful girls in Hollywood in two and a half years.

Rihanna (3:37)

That is crazy.

Jen (3:38)

It is crazy.

Bert (3:39)

There has got to be some times where this just feels a little bit overwhelming to you.

Rihanna (3:44)

Definitely. I remember reading the article, and I just. I was blown away, especially with the other girls that we're in the top 10 as well, and girls that have been doing it for years, like Raven Simone, and I'm just like, me the most. One of the most powerful girls. That's insane. It was pretty cool to read it, though. But I couldn't imagine how they got my name on that list.

Interviewer (4:09)

Does that put a lot of pressure on you?

Rihanna (4:13)

Not really. It's kind of a cool fact to read about myself, one of those cool things. But it puts pressure on me when every time I go a little further in my career, the pressure gets more intense, more and more intense, because you just have to keep. You want to make it better every time. You don't ever want to take a step backward, not even a small step. You always want to keep leaping forward. So it's always on my mind, like, what am I going to do next? How am I going to make this better next time?

Bert (4:45)

Are you a bit of a workaholic?

Rihanna (4:48)

I'll definitely agree with that.

Bert (4:50)

Yeah.

Rihanna (4:52)

Yes, definitely. If not by choice, sometimes by force. But I am always. I'm always working. When I'm not working, I'm thinking about working and missing work. I just took a week off. I went to the Virgin Islands, and I was so bored. It was. There was absolutely nothing to do there. But, I mean, the whole strip, it was a tiny little island, and the Whole strip. There were just like, people over 60 years old who are all retired and don't want to talk to anybody. And I was just like, oh, my God, I want to party. I want to jet ski. I want to have fun. And there was nothing to do. So I left early because I couldn't take it anymore, I would say. I came back, I got straight to work, and I was like, I actually miss work.

Bert (5:42)

It's Rihanna on the bird show on Q100 this morning. From right down the street, right?

Interviewer (5:46)

Congratulations on your six Grammy nominations for Umbrella and for Good Girl Gone Bad. That's incredible. Do you expect to win this year?

Rihanna (5:55)

I hope I do. I can't expect anything. Nothing is promised, and I hate being disappointed. So I don't want to keep my hopes up. I just keep my fingers crossed, Keep praying and hoping.

Interviewer (6:07)

And you're gonna be out there, right?

Rihanna (6:09)

I am gonna be on stage. I'll be performing with the Time, which is a group from the. From the 80s, which I thought was really, really cool because a lot of my music has a lot of influences from the 80s, even if it's just a little bit, a little sample here and there. So it was great to actually have the opportunity to hit the stage with the time. I can't wait.

Bert (6:30)

When you perform on stage at the Grammys or in front of a whole bunch of people from your industry and you look out on that crowd and you see the Jay and you see the Mary J. Bliges, is there a lot of pressure on you to perform well for them that night?

Rihanna (6:45)

Hell yeah. It is so nerve wracking. I mean, you perform in front of thousands of people every night, but the minute the crowd is people that do what you do or have done what you do, it puts so much pressure on you. You just start to freak out. I mean, I shake every time. Even after the performance, I get that sit and I finally exhale. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm shaking, shaking. It's crazy.

Bert (7:15)

Who have you seen in the crowd before that has freaked you out the most?

Rihanna (7:18)

Mary J. Blige. I've seen a lot of actors, actresses. I mean, Jay Z one time, Beyonce another time, everybody.

Amy (7:29)

Snoop Dogg.

Rihanna (7:30)

It really, really puts the pressure on you. And sometimes you can't even register who's looking at you. You just know that all these people do what you do or have done what you do.

Bert (7:41)

Yeah. So they know where they're coming from. It's rihanna on the Bert Show. Q100.

Interviewer (7:45)

Burt brought up Jay Z. How do you address Some of that speculation about there being tension between you and Beyonce because you are Jay Z's.

Rihanna (7:53)

Protege, I don't really address it because it's kind of ignorant to me. I think people know better than that. But they still. They still want to believe it because it's a rumor. It's something negative, so they want to believe it, but in the back of their head, they know that there's nothing going on between me and Jay Z. So therefore, me and Beyonce have no beef.

Bert (8:21)

In a case like this, can the media make so much out of it and ask you the questions over and over and over again and bring it up in the press so much that it does create that it'll create tension where there was none before between you and Beyonce?

Rihanna (8:39)

Luckily, we are both very, very stable and strong women, so we don't even let it bother us. Beyonce, she's been dealing with the media for, I mean, years and years and years more than I have. So she definitely knows about rumors and how to handle that. So there's no tension when we see each other. I'm still starstruck. It's Beyonce. It's someone that I always looked up to as a kid, so I don't ever want to put myself in a position to have any remorse towards her.

Bert (9:11)

So you wouldn't define yourself as friends, but you're certainly not enemies and somebody that you can be in a room with and hang out with.

Rihanna (9:16)

Exactly.

Bert (9:17)

Yeah.

Interviewer (9:18)

That's cool.

Bert (9:19)

I wonder, you know, sticking with this whole media theme, have there been enough rumors about you on the Internet and enough media attention to you that you're starting to get a pretty healthy distrust of the media now?

Rihanna (9:36)

Before. I had to earlier last year when it really started to get intense all at the same time with. I mean, every week I was having a different boyfriend, and it was just getting crazy, and I was like, oh, my goodness. Sometimes when I read, like, those gossip sites and I read the comments, oh, my gosh, I want to kill myself by the time I finish read the comments. It's like, not really, but, you know, I mean, like, it gets very depressing after you read what people have to say when they don't know you. They don't know anything about you, but because they read it one time, they want to comment on it, they want to believe it, and it just.

Amy (10:16)

But after.

Rihanna (10:17)

After that, I realized, you know what? You cannot ever please everybody, and you just have to let it go. People are always going to say negative stuff about you. It comes with the territory. So I kind of just Ignore it all.

Bert (10:30)

What is the, what's the comment that you saw on one of those message boards that really, really hurt you for a couple days?

Rihanna (10:37)

Let me see, let me see what.

Bert (10:44)

You have it like on a piece of paper in your wallet or something?

Interviewer (10:46)

My fingers right now. I'm going to the blog page right now.

Rihanna (10:55)

Well, recently they haven't been that terrible. Recently. They're just, you know, small stuff. But before, it just got really bad with how many guys I was dating all at once. All at once. I mean, within the space of a month, I read about four to five different guys and I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm one person. How many people do you want to pair me up with? And, and then people start to get a whole different perceptive of you.

Bert (11:30)

So they were calling you, they were calling you like a slut and stuff like that?

Rihanna (11:34)

Yes, very much so.

Jen (11:37)

Oh, well, now I'm wondering because everybody usually is fascinated with people's romantic life and personal life and obviously you've been the target of that. Which comes first? Do you start kind of liking a guy and start seeing him and then the media picks up on it? Or, or does the media kind of put you with somebody and then kind of you and he will joke about, look, they think we're a couple and then you might end up starting to date?

Rihanna (12:00)

No, neither. Actually. A lot of the guys that I, that they pair me up with, most of them are really good friends. Some of them I don't know and I've met once and they got a picture of us when we met and we were talking in the club. Josh Hartnett was one of those ones. I don't, I don't know anything about Josh. We never talked on the phone, nothing like that. But. But I met him that one time in the club and they made it into this whole thing and they started lying about other dates we had and it was just crazy to me. But a lot of them are my, are my really close friends on the.

Bert (12:38)

Other end of things. And you don't have to tell us which one. On the other end of things, has there ever been a rumor that came out about you on the Internet that was true and you've always been like, how did they find out about that?

Rihanna (12:50)

Let me see, let me think about that. No, no, no.

Bert (13:01)

So they never accidentally got it right?

Interviewer (13:03)

Yeah, they just make up the stories.

Rihanna (13:04)

Along the way when they get it right. I always admit it, you know, it makes no sense. But if it's a rumor, it's definitely a rumor. But if it's not, then you'll definitely know that it wasn't and you'll talk about it.

Bert (13:17)

It's Rihanna on the Birch show this morning. Q100.

Interviewer (13:19)

Everybody's talking about your new bob hairstyle. And you were like, bringing back.

Rihanna (13:23)

Thank you.

Interviewer (13:23)

You're bringing back the bob. I mean, it's like you're influencing hairstyles of women around the world. Is that crazy to you?

Rihanna (13:31)

Very, very crazy. Cool. Very cool. At the same time. But I just cut my hair again. It's a lot shorter than the bob now. It's kind of a pixie haircut.

Interviewer (13:41)

Oh, cool.

Rihanna (13:42)

And, yeah, because we rocked the bob for a whole year, and we just felt like it was a new year. I'm about to turn 20 years old. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe it.

Bert (13:52)

Oh, yeah, old man, it's over for you. You're gonna have to go back to that Caribbean island with all those 60 year olds and hang out because you're so old man.

Interviewer (13:59)

Retire right now. Never.

Bert (14:01)

Never.

Rihanna (14:02)

Anyway, yeah, so we just wanted to have something new and different for 2008, and so we cut my hair even shorter.

Bert (14:10)

When you say we, do you just go out and do your own thing, or do you have a whole bunch of people telling you how you're going to get your hair cut?

Rihanna (14:16)

No, no, no.

Amy (14:16)

We.

Rihanna (14:17)

Me and my hairstylist, we kind of go through a bunch of magazines, a bunch of hair magazines, and whichever one we see that, we kind of like. We kind of put pieces together. Like, we like the front of this one, like the back of that one, like the color of that one, and we kind of just create our own thing.

Amy (14:34)

And.

Rihanna (14:34)

And she just did it. She did it, and I loved it.

Interviewer (14:38)

So you think Katie Holmes is gonna follow you now and get the pixie?

Rihanna (14:42)

I don't think so. I don't think so.

Keith (14:44)

No.

Interviewer (14:44)

She had the bob, too, so she might just follow in your footsteps again.

Bert (14:49)

Hey, Rihanna. I have heard that when you go back home to Barbados, you know, you would think that your home island and your hometown and all that would be really happy for you, because here you've laughed and you've made a name for yourself. But I've heard there's a lot of jealousy issues on that island. And when you come home, sometimes you feel that.

Rihanna (15:06)

Definitely. Well, they're the people who are extremely happy for me, who are thrilled about what I'm doing, and they're supportive, and then there are the people who can't stand me. But you get that everywhere you go but in Barbados, it's kind of a pride thing even going up there. It's kind of.

Amy (15:29)

It's.

Rihanna (15:29)

Who can be the meanest? The coolest person is the meanest person. That kind of thing where if they told you congratulations, it took so much out of them. Like, they look like a smaller person. It's kind of a weird mentality.

Lance (15:44)

It is.

Rihanna (15:46)

But that's just the culture of that island, unfortunately, in some ways.

Bert (15:51)

And I know it's your homeland, but in some ways, are you just glad that you're not there anymore because of that kind of attitude?

Rihanna (15:58)

I kind of miss it, honestly. I miss Barbados. I miss the great things about it. There's so many great things that I can't let the few negative people run me away. I really miss home. I was talking to my best friend the other day, and she was partying, and she called me from the club, and I was so jealous. I was like, I hate you right now. I wish I was there in Boatyard, which is one of my favorite clubs when I was growing up there, and I just really, really missed it.

Interviewer (16:25)

I read somewhere that you've been going to clubs and stuff since you were, like, 14.

Rihanna (16:29)

Yeah, that's when I started partying.

Bert (16:32)

It's a little different on Caribbean islands, though, too, isn't it? Like, it's a little more acceptable?

Rihanna (16:36)

Yeah, definitely. Well, when I started partying, all my friends were older than I was, so I was kind of like just the young one in the group, so they didn't really look at me. In Barbados, the club that. It really depends on, the club that you go to, they decide their age limit. There's no, like, age limit.

Interviewer (16:56)

Okay.

Rihanna (16:57)

Around the country. Yeah.

Bert (16:58)

You got to understand, like, if you guys do any kind of traveling around the world, like our country, the United States is the tightest country in the world, man.

Rihanna (17:05)

Very strict.

Bert (17:06)

There's laws for everything. But you go to other places and.

Rihanna (17:09)

It'S like, yeah, yeah, I know. It's crazy, because in Barbados, because alcohol is not forbidden as much as it is here. People don't. I don't even care about alcohol when I go out. Alcohol is just another thing. But the music is there, your friends are there, you're partying. You know, it's not really about, oh, my gosh, I got into a club. I can drink.

Bert (17:34)

Right. Do you find that most Americans really have this misconception about Barbados? Like, they think it's a place with, like, no electricity and there's no streets.

Rihanna (17:45)

Well, I've definitely been asked if I have inside Bathrooms before, really. Which was funny. It was funny, actually, because, you know, it's the same as if I didn't know something about another country that I never heard about. It's crazy. But Barbados is a very developed, tiny little place.

Bert (18:06)

You want to go to Barbados on vacation, you better have a lot of money.

Jen (18:09)

It's expensive to get there, definitely.

Bert (18:11)

And to stay there, it's really expensive.

Rihanna (18:13)

I mean, if you. To stay there. I mean, if you really want to have a great time and stay lavishly, it can be very expensive because a lot of tourists go there. So, you know, they always up the price, but. But it's worth it. It's worth it. It's definitely something you should save up for. And you have to go to Barbados at least once in a lifetime.

Bert (18:34)

So. Rihanna Q100, and you just got this.

Interviewer (18:37)

This Body by Milk campaign.

Amy (18:40)

Yeah.

Interviewer (18:40)

Congratulations. I was wondering about why you took that on and maybe how you feel like a role model for your fans.

Rihanna (18:48)

I thought it was a good way of getting young people health conscious again, you know, as me. Being a young person is someone that they can relate to. And it's not just their parents or school teachers telling you have to drink milk, you have to drink milk. It's someone that they can relate to. And I think people aren't as health conscious in the homes as they used to be years ago. So we wanted just to bring that.

Bert (19:12)

Back with some of these videos and some of the pictures. Now they seem to be getting. As you get a little bit older, they seem to be getting a little racier, a little sexier of Rihanna. Has your mom ever called you up and gone, okay, hon, you have. You're going over the line here. Put some more clothes on.

Rihanna (19:26)

No, we have never really gone that far. I mean, she kind of. After I turned 18, she kind of slack back a little bit. But before I was 18, I was not. I was not as scandalous. If I. I can't really say scandalous. I wasn't as sexy, but. But I did see a photo shoot on the Internet of me doing a quote unquote nude photo shoot, which is. It's a fake photo shoot, just for the record. So, you know, they photoshopped it and they took all the clothes off, but you can't see any parts. They just made it look like I did the shoot nude. But we'll never go that far.

Bert (20:13)

Are you feeling sexier as you get older, or are you feeling like the sexy image is being forced on you?

Rihanna (20:20)

No, I mean, I am not purposely trying to be Sexy.

Amy (20:25)

I'm not.

Rihanna (20:25)

I'm not doing things like, okay, let's wear that because it's sexy. It's all a theme behind everything from tour costumes to clothes that I wear in a photo shoot to album cover. It really is about what I'm feeling at that moment or just being. Just being me, being different. I guess we never say, okay, let's wear this tiny little skirt because it's sexy. None of that. No.

Bert (20:56)

Should we expect some new stuff from you this year, new album?

Rihanna (21:02)

Well, I don't know about this year, but you know what? You never know. You never know. But I want to do a few more things as well as music, so probably early next year.

Interviewer (21:17)

So what, like movies and stuff?

Rihanna (21:19)

Movies, fashion. I want to get into a few things, actually.

Bert (21:24)

Yeah, I mean, she's one of the top 10 most powerful girls in the world. You better use it. Now. Go do whatever you want. Rihanna on the birthday show on Q100. All right, Rihanna, Sorry you couldn't stop by. In studio today. We are looking forward to it.

Rihanna (21:37)

Sorry. I am so sorry. I wish I could be there with you guys.

Jen (21:40)

I am so looking forward to seeing your pixie haircut, though, at the Grammys.

Interviewer (21:43)

Yes. Good luck. We hope you come home with lots of them.

Rihanna (21:46)

Me too. Thank you so much.

Bert (21:47)

Good luck, Rihanna. Bye Bye. The Bird show. All right. Amy emailed us a couple of days ago, and I thought, you know what? I have been in this situation before on the other end, and for women to call up and give her advice right now I think is a little bit ridiculous. We're gonna need guys to call up and sort of crack the code for Amy here. So if you're a guy and you have advice, once you hear Amy's story, feel free to give us a call. 404-741. Q100. Hey, Amy.

Rihanna (22:19)

Hey.

Amy (22:19)

How you doing?

Bert (22:20)

Good. How are you?

Rihanna (22:21)

Good.

Amy (22:21)

I'm okay.

Bert (22:22)

All right, what's going on with the boyfriend here? It's a little bit of. There's some give and take going on here, right?

Rihanna (22:27)

Yes.

Amy (22:27)

It's craziness. Well, let me start off by. It started first in September on his birthday. He lives in Charlotte and I live here in Atlanta. And I went up there to see him, and we were just having some problems in our relationship with him, you know, calling me, and I asked him what was up with it. And he was like, I'm not in love with you anymore. And so I immediately jumped out of his car, and I went to my car and I left. He calls me. He sends Me an email, actually, a day later telling me that, you know, he's sorry and he wants to be with me again. Okay, so that's one of the ups and downs. So we're together and then a couple weeks ago on Sunday, I asked him, where do you see this relationship going? Because we've been together for two years. We're not, you know, like teenagers. I want to know. You know, we never talked about the future. And then he just straight up told me that he doesn't think he's in love with me, but he loves me so much and. Oh, just craziness. And so then I left Charlotte, and two hours later, he calls me on the phone crying, saying that I'm his best friend and he doesn't want to lose me. And the thought of not having me in his life drives him crazy and insane. But he still said that, you know, he's not in love with me and he just wants to keep it as friends.

Lance (23:45)

And now let me ask you a question. Are you guys as. As friends? Are you guys, you know.

Amy (23:52)

No. Well, no.

Lance (23:57)

Are you sure? Are you sure?

Amy (23:59)

No, we haven't even.

Lance (24:00)

Even a little bit. Even like, just like, even that much?

Amy (24:05)

No.

Lance (24:05)

Well, listen, because how about this much?

Amy (24:07)

Sunday we did, he kept trying to mention that, you know, we haven't had sex in a while, and I was just like. Well, I tried not to bring that up because I'm not the type that will sleep with somebody if we're not together. You know, if that's. If he doesn't want to be with me, then I'm not gonna give him that.

Bert (24:23)

All right, Amy, hold on one sec. So here. The root of the problem here really is this. I mean, cuz we can get right to the gist here is that he keeps telling you he doesn't love you, but then the next day he's like, I do love you. I want to be with you. And he's done this like three or four different times. So the real question is here is if he tells you that he just wants to be friends or he's telling you that he doesn't love you, then why is he calling you back to keep this relationship on life support?

Amy (24:46)

Well, that's not. The other crazy part is this. On the day that I wrote you the email, he called me and said he wants to be with me again and that I his anchor, and that he doesn't want to lose me and that he is in love with me, but he's destroyed everything in his life and he doesn't Want to destroy me?

Bert (25:03)

Okay, let me give the phone number out. And again, this is advice. I know there are plenty of women going, oh, this thing happened to me too. Nah, I just want to hear from guys, like, get. Let's. Let's allow Amy to get in the head of a guy right now. 404741, Q100. And it really comes back to, why do we let these women go? And then the next day say, okay, we want you back. And over and over and over again. Do it.

Jen (25:24)

Because we need a guy to tell her what this guy really means, you know, like. Because I think you're just. He's going back and forth, and you want to know what his real intention is.

Amy (25:32)

He's supposed to be coming on Friday, and I asked him last night. You know, I'm like, you know, I kind of wanted to bring it up again to him, but he's like, I don't want to talk about it. So it's like, whatever.

Bert (25:45)

Lance, you got some advice?

Lance (25:46)

Whatever, man.

Keith (25:47)

I'm telling you, this guy's got somebody else on the side. I really don't want to say that to you, but it's just the way it is. I mean, he doesn't want to give her up because, you know, if he can get his ice in and have his cake. She doesn't know about the cake. There's a piece of cake somewhere.

Amy (26:03)

I honestly don't believe he dating anybody else.

Rihanna (26:06)

I don't believe that.

Amy (26:07)

I'm kind of good at sensing that. And when I'm with him, I stay at his apartment maybe for a week or two at a time. There's no women calling. It's nothing like that. I don't believe he is. I don't believe he has a woman on the side.

Bert (26:24)

I think Keith here is going to say exactly what I was going to say. Go ahead, Keith.

Keith (26:28)

I think she's looking for that. He's looking for the next best thing, trying to keep her around. And then, you know, when he finds something better, he's gonna drop her.

Bert (26:36)

Hey, Keith, back me on this. Tell me if this is the truth. Because, Amy, I used to do this all the time. Here's what I used to do. Because I was too much of a sissy to break up with a girl, right? And I was too much of a sissy to think that as a single guy, I could actually go up, out and hook up with women. So what I would do is I would keep one woman within the relationship just until something better came along. Just so I had something Because I was too scared to be alone. So I would keep the woman just. And I would tell her everything that she needed to hear until I was with another woman.

Keith (27:07)

That is exactly right. Exactly what happens all the time.

Amy (27:11)

I don't know. Okay, you know what? I called because I wanted the advice. I definitely do.

Bert (27:16)

So I'm not saying he's with somebody currently, but what I'm saying is looking at someone. But, like, either he's looking at somebody or he's actually. Because he's already told you, I don't love you anymore. And he's told you three different times, but he keeps coming back because the fear of him being alone is too much for him to take.

Amy (27:32)

Well, here's what he says. He says that he's not in love with me, but he loves me.

Bert (27:37)

Well.

Lance (27:38)

Well, here's what's going on.

Amy (27:39)

I don't understand what that means. I need to know, because if that is the case, then I don't want him coming here on Friday. I want to just move on with my life.

Lance (27:47)

Now, here's what. Going off of what Bert said. Here's what could be happening. So, like, he's at work or whatever, and there's this other person, and all is good, you know? So he's flirting with her, and he's got you, and he's got you, and he's flirting with her. Maybe they go out on a date and everything's cool. Then he gets a second date, and he's like, girl number two is so much better than you. So he's like, I don't love you anymore. I don't need you. And then he goes out with her, and then he has a cover. You know, things go with her, but then she's not all that he thought she would be. Like, okay, wait a minute. Hold on. Maybe I do kind of love you a little bit because this girl's not working out like I thought she was. And then she comes back and she says, actually, I do think I really like you. Let's go out again. He's like, okay, I don't love you anymore.

Bert (28:25)

He may not even have anybody specific in mind. He may think I don't.

Amy (28:29)

I don't believe he does have anybody specific in my. I don't. I don't. I don't know. And that's what he told me, too. I don't know of that. You know, if that adds to. He told me that there's nobody else that he thinks about or that he wants to be with. He doesn't even look this is when he called me on Sunday, crying.

Bert (28:46)

Yeah.

Amy (28:47)

He said that he doesn't even look at other women. That, you know, the only person that he can see himself with is me. And he says that with his life. I guess he says his life is in turmoil right now. And, you know, I'd say I've been.

Bert (29:00)

This guy where I had tremendous balls on Tuesday. And I was just that.

Jen (29:07)

Hold on, hold on.

Bert (29:08)

Let me finish. Let me finish.

Amy (29:09)

I was.

Jen (29:10)

Let him go.

Amy (29:10)

And I didn't say any. You know, I wasn't going to call him or anything. It's him that's calling me, and I have not called him. I've made an effort of not doing that. He only calls me.

Bert (29:20)

I'm trying to explain it to you.

Jen (29:22)

You just got the shut up.

Bert (29:23)

Yeah, here's the shut up, though.

Lance (29:24)

Shut up.

Bert (29:25)

He was really big on the zoo back in the 80s. The Breakfast Zoo.

Lance (29:30)

What if you're listening this afternoon and Johnny O's really using that for a contest wise or something.

Jen (29:35)

Oh, no, my bad.

Bert (29:36)

The deal is this, is that I've done this before where I'm not happy in the relationship, right? But I don't have the balls to. One day I just wake up and I'm like, this is it. I'm over. I'm done with this. So I finally have the guts to break up with her. But then the next morning, I freak out that I'm gonna be alone. So then I start making all of these excuses for the stuff that I said the night before, even though I really meant it.

Amy (29:57)

Oh, God. Well, that's the case then.

Bert (30:00)

What you got intern Carl. Come on up. And then, Melissa, you can comment, but you have to put on a man's voice.

Carl (30:07)

I just wanted to say.

Bert (30:08)

And that's gonna live out a couple.

Lance (30:09)

Different fantasies, or else the 1986 shut up bell comes out.

Carl (30:15)

What I wanted to say is. Amy, you keep saying the same thing. You want to understand? You don't understand the guy. I can't. Women kill me with this. I don't understand the guy told you he loves you, but he's not in love with you. And it means exactly what it means. He loves you like a mom. He loves you like a friend.

Bert (30:33)

You're convenient right now. You're just.

Amy (30:35)

Am I really?

Bert (30:36)

Yep. You're just there.

Amy (30:38)

So I should just let it go?

Bert (30:40)

What do you think? Male Melissa.

Jen (30:48)

Well, here.

Lance (30:50)

Go ahead, Melissa.

Jen (30:51)

Here's my opinion. I think. I think you just need to be told that you're not gonna get what you want.

Rihanna (30:58)

Yeah, that's probably what it is.

Bert (31:01)

And it wasn't nearly as hot as I thought.

Jen (31:02)

I know it's dorky, but. Yeah, if I could speak if I were a man.

Amy (31:08)

And he's just so.

Jen (31:09)

Oh, I know.

Amy (31:11)

I'm gonna tell him I want him to leave me alone because he just sends me all these crazy text messages during the day.

Bert (31:18)

Yeah. I'm telling you, you wanted tough advice, and I know it's really hard to hear, but this negative.

Amy (31:22)

But, you know, I needed the truth.

Jen (31:24)

I think the guys were trying to tell you that he said what he meant, and it is what it is. And as a woman, I'm telling you, you're not gonna get what you want because you can't.

Amy (31:33)

I wish he'd just leave me alone, man, you know?

Jen (31:35)

Then don't answer his calls.

Bert (31:36)

We've had somebody else on the show said that one time about a boyfriend too, and ended up in the same relationship. Good morning, andy. You're on Q100.

Keith (31:43)

Hey. She needs to drop him. He doesn't want to be a bad guy, right? He doesn't want her to hate him, so he doesn't want to break up with her.

Bert (31:53)

Dudes are twisted this way. Like, we think if we don't break up with you guys, but we make you miserable for the next four months and you break up with us, that's a better way out of the relationship than just starting to hurt immediately.

Amy (32:06)

He's been acting like this the sweetest guy in the world for the past week, which is, you know, he's. He's, you know, doing things that I've always wanted him to do. And now, you know, he's doing that for this. The past week after he broke up with me this time because he's coming.

Jen (32:22)

In town, that's why. Because he's coming in town on Friday. He's. He's. He's paving the way to have a good weekend.

Bert (32:28)

Amy, what's. What's my mantra for relationships? It's zero tolerance for disrespect. Zero. And he's done it to you time and time again. And now if you keep going back in the relationship. Now I put it on you because he's already shown you what he's all about. If you keep going back now, it's your fault if you get hurt. I got all Dr. Phil on your right here.

Jen (32:47)

Look at you.

Bert (32:48)

Woo.

Amy (32:51)

Goodness. You're probably right.

Interviewer (32:52)

Wow.

Lance (32:54)

What about Dr. Phil to you is sexy.

Bert (32:57)

Just the power that just. I don't know where it came from. The insight.

Jen (33:01)

Oh, good I'm sorry. I know it's disappointing because you want to make this work, but if. And I'm going to channel. Am I allowed to channel Jen Hobby, even though it's a male advice?

Lance (33:12)

Yeah, but you have to do it in a male voice.

Jen (33:14)

What Jen would tell you if she was here is that you deserve better. You deserve. There will be a guy out there, but you have to hear it, because I know you say you know, but you want this guy to be that guy. And he's not going to be.

Amy (33:25)

I do, but.

Jen (33:26)

You do.

Amy (33:27)

You're right.

Jen (33:28)

Jen would say that there is a guy out there that will definitively tell you, I love you. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. I want to see you this weekend. I want to see you tonight. And that is what you want. And he's not going to be the one to do it.

Bert (33:39)

And here in this again, we talked about this earlier. Now the tough part comes because you're going to have the guts to finally say, don't come here this weekend. And you're going to put him at arm's length. And now he's really going to want you. So he's going to totally come full court press. And now you've got to be as strong as ever if you really think that this relationship's not going to work out in the long run.

Amy (33:59)

Yeah, you're right. I guess I'll do that tonight. What's today, Wednesday? Yeah.

Jen (34:05)

I'm sorry.

Amy (34:06)

No, I want to see him, but it's like, I don't want to be played. I know I can. I know I deserve to be treated, you know, better, you know, I know I don't deserve to be treated like this. Going up and down with him because he's so into. He's so indecisive, you know, Jason here.

Bert (34:23)

Says he can explain it to you. Go ahead, Jason. You'll be the last.

Keith (34:25)

Hey, guys. All right. I was actually in this exact same situation for about two and a half, almost three years. The problem with the guy is, is. Well, first I'd like to ask. This guy had, like, problems with relationships before in the past. Like, did he. Like.

Amy (34:43)

Five years. And she cheated on him. And that's okay.

Keith (34:48)

This is what happened to me. We. Me and this person were friends before we became. Before we became boyfriend, girlfriend got together. And I'd had really rough times with relationships, and I had a serious problem with committed. But I liked her so much and I cared about her so much that I didn't want to Hurt her to the point where, you know, I. I didn't want her to hate me. I didn't want her to hurt me. So I kind of manipulated situation by going back and forth with her. But my thing was, is that I couldn't commit to her, but I still cared about her. And I was almost, like, fucked with it, you know, I didn't know which way to go. If you care about the guy enough to try and make an effort, the one thing that you could always do is play like you have interest in somebody else and bring out his true.

Bert (35:33)

Emotions and just the game plan.

Lance (35:36)

But if you do that, it might not be his true emotions. It might be his competitiveness.

Jen (35:40)

Right.

Bert (35:40)

And then he wants to get the.

Jen (35:42)

Dude'S toxic, toxic, free yourself up free.

Amy (35:45)

I'm not one into playing games. I don't want to do that. So I.

Jen (35:49)

The worst thing I think is knowing that you're gonna be in pain and you might as well just.

Amy (35:55)

Yeah, I know that. It's like you almost. I almost got, like this comforting sense, you know, on. When he called me and said he wanted to be with me again. I almost felt like, oh, good. So now I don't even have to. I don't have to think about, you know, losing him and going through all that emotion. So it kind of feels comforting, you know?

Bert (36:12)

Yeah.

Jen (36:13)

But it's a false sense of comfort because all you're doing is delaying the pain.

Amy (36:16)

Yeah.

Bert (36:17)

You know, I think men and women should make an agreement with each other when it comes to breaking up. And I hope I can get my thoughts together.

Amy (36:23)

And he didn't even do it. I, you know, I had to do it. You know, I had to bring it up.

Bert (36:28)

Doesn't really matter, though. Here's the agreement I think we should make. I think that women should tell guys, look, if you want out of the relationship, just tell me. Just tell me. Don't be a sissy about it and don't wait three or four weeks. Tell me the honest truth. But in exchange for that kind of truth of us letting you go and not playing games with you, you've got to let the relationship go. Cause I think too many times we don't want to be the bad guy. So we won't break up. We'll stay in the relationship. Because we don't want the phone calls, and we don't want conversation after conversation after conversation why it didn't work out. Yeah, I think we owe you an explanation. And then I think you owe it to us is just cut it and let it Go.

Amy (37:10)

And that's what I told him. And that's. That's what I. That's what I told him that night, that he wanted to be. Say he wanted to get back with me. I told him straight up that I'm not going to keep playing these games with you and you have to tell me what's true. And that's when he said that he is in love with me. But you know, what was it that. That, you know, he didn't want to destroy me because he's destroyed everything else in his life.

Jen (37:36)

He's so stoic.

Lance (37:38)

He's so very sacrificial.

Bert (37:40)

He's like Braveheart, isn't he?

Lance (37:41)

So very slow. John Mayer song.

Jen (37:43)

Yeah, well, I think that you're.

Lance (37:45)

Your body's a wonderland.

Jen (37:48)

You're like the group of friends when you know that one of your girlfriends who's trying to explain a bad situation when she's overly explaining it, trying to nitpick and try to remember every single word he said and everything that happened. You're not ready ready to. You're in that danger zone of going back. The women that are fed up are the ones who are angry. Don't want to talk about it more. I'm sick of it. Let's go and talk about something else or do something else. And you're not. You need to push yourself into that point.

Rihanna (38:14)

Okay.

Jen (38:15)

Okay.

Amy (38:15)

I'm gonna let him do. I'm just gonna let him know.

Jen (38:18)

All right, you can do it.

Bert (38:20)

Be strong now.

Jen (38:21)

Be mad.

Bert (38:21)

Come on. You need to start building yourself some self esteem points right now.

Amy (38:24)

I don't see how I can be angry though. You know, it was a good two years. Honestly, it was.

Jen (38:30)

He's not in love with you.

Bert (38:31)

Yeah, he was. He was. It played out.

Amy (38:34)

I don't think he ever was.

Jen (38:36)

Well, he wasn't in love with you.

Interviewer (38:37)

Nah.

Bert (38:38)

All right. He wasn't. All right.

Amy (38:41)

I don't think he was.

Bert (38:42)

He probably wasn't. I'm just kidding. Of course he was.

Amy (38:46)

I don't think he was.

Bert (38:47)

Don't beat yourself up. Just say that he was and the relationship just played out.

Amy (38:52)

What a jerk.

Bert (38:53)

Exactly.

Jen (38:53)

There you go.

Bert (38:54)

You talking to me or are you talking about the old.

Rihanna (38:55)

I'm talking to him.

Bert (38:58)

I'll see you later, Amy.

Jen (39:00)

Good luck. You can do it.

Lance (39:02)

The bird show.