Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, January 6 [Vault]

Summary

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The Bert Show: Full Show PT 2 – Tuesday, January 6 [Vault]

Original Air Date: January 6, 2026
Podcast Host: Bert, with Jen, Jeff, Melissa, and callers

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into authentic, unfiltered conversations between The Bert Show hosts and their listeners, focusing on listener-submitted advice for the show members. Topics range from personal growth, relationships, and work-life balance to deeper explorations of gender roles, self-reflection, and commitment. The tone is lively, candid, and playful, with both serious and humorous exchanges, anchored by real-time listener input and the hosts’ signature banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Advice for the Bert Show Crew (01:30 – 18:29)

Advice for Bert: Aging, Moderation, and Keeping Your Youth

• Letting Go of Youth
  Listener John advises Bert to “let go of your youth” (02:07), noting that excessive partying impacts his family and the show:

  • “You're a 52-year-old man, John.” — Bert (02:28)
  • Lighthearted follow-up: Bert jokes about a regrettable tattoo.

• Counterpoint: Embracing Youthfulness Listener Eve disagrees, championing a life-lived-youthfully:

  • “If you give it up, you're gonna be old before your time... when you die, they won’t have anything to talk about.” — Eve (08:18)
  • Bert acknowledges his struggle with moderation:
    “I've just never been a guy that has been able to just take things in moderation... I have a tough time saying no to anything that is a good time.” — Bert (08:52)

• Defining ‘Youthfulness’
  Jen distinguishes between having fun and harmful excess:

  • “Staying youthful is enjoying like innocent things, not necessarily getting wasted kind of youthful.” — Jen (09:30)

Advice for Jen: To Have (or Not Have) a Baby

• Peer Pressure
  Listener Jessica urges Jen to have a baby, reminiscing over Jen's on-air pregnancy test and her own new motherhood:

  • “Motherhood is... an amazing adventure." — Jessica (03:35)
  • Jen worries about career and motherhood:
    “I love this show. I don't want to stop working.” — Jen (04:00)

• Contrary Viewpoint Listener Debbie validates Jen’s concerns about losing career freedom:

  • “Don't get her advice... if I want to go to Walmart at 2 o'clock in the morning, I don't have to take and... throw diapers in the car.” — Debbie (11:01)

• Hosts’ Reflection Melissa identifies as someone not meant for motherhood, reinforcing the importance of self-knowledge. Bert observes Jen’s drive:

  • “You're just one of these people that will do whatever has to be done... you’re gonna be good at everything.” — Host (likely Bert) to Jen (12:20)

• Jen on Motivation

  • “Don’t you think that stress is what fuels me?” — Jen (12:53)

Advice for Jeff: Mental Health & Weight Concerns

• Medication Suggestion Listener Marianne quips that Jeff should be on Zoloft, referencing its cheerful advertising mascot (04:42).

• Weight & Lifestyle Another caller, Mark, jokes that Jeff’s brunch expertise and frequent dining may be tied to his size, gently warning about health:

  • “If Jeff wasn't such a restaurant connoisseur, maybe he'd be able to see his feet.” — Mark (14:14)
  • The exchange is jovial, with Bert and the hosts poking fun, but the health advice is registered:
    • “Big men die a lot faster than skinny men.” — Mark (14:34)
    • “I’m healthy. I go for walks every day. Walk the dog. I like to eat.” — Jeff (15:39)

• Personality and Apologies Another caller urges Jeff to admit when he’s wrong and apologize when needed. Jeff jokes:

  • “When I am wrong, I will say that I’m wrong. The problem is, I am never wrong.” — Jeff (16:19)

Melissa: Gender Double Standards

• Nature vs. Nurture Debate Caller Sean contends women’s sexual “choosiness” is genetic (05:04), while Melissa insists social expectations matter and people must take responsibility for their actions:

  • “I think every person, man or woman, has to be responsible for their actions.” — Melissa (06:39)
  • Bert highlights repeated listener feedback:
    • “If it was socially acceptable for you to go out and have as much sex with men as it is... would you do it? And across the board, women call up and say, oh, yeah.” — Bert (06:46)

• Further Discussion of Sexual Dynamics Conversation on whether women or men are more driven by looks or personality, with observations on how relationships are socially and biologically influenced:

  • “Women fall in love via their ears and men fall in love via their eyes.” — Host (likely Bert) (07:30)

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2. Listener Dilemma: Marriage Proposal Regret (20:08 – 33:10)

Cheryl’s Story

• Cheryl calls in seeking advice after telling her boyfriend “no” when he proposed, then regretting it after a week of silence:

  • “We lived together. But he dropped me off and left. And I haven't seen him for a week...” — Cheryl (20:43)
  • She now wants to say yes, unsure how to fix things.

• Proposed Solutions

  • Melissa and Jen probe Cheryl’s motivations: Was it true love or just loneliness?
  • A caller suggests Cheryl propose back to her boyfriend. Bert and Melissa note she’ll need to be clear about why her answer changed.

• Emotional Honesty

  • Consensus: Cheryl should be honest about panicking (24:10). Bert says:
    • “To go back to him and say, look, I gotta be honest with you, I just kind of panicked... is there anything wrong with that?” — Host (likely Bert) (24:10)

Opinions from Listenership

• Go with Your Gut

  • Caller Cindy shares a similar story, advocating for listening to first instincts:
    • “If your first gut instinct is that no, then go with your gut. Because there is a reason why you have that feeling.” — Cindy (27:02)
  • Other callers and hosts highlight the importance of addressing deeper issues beyond love and considering practical factors (age, logistics, personal dreams).

• Difference Between Loving and Being “In Love”

  • The group attempts to define what it means to “love” versus being “in love,” especially when it comes to commitment and marriage:
    • “Loving someone and caring for someone is more of a best friendship.” — Jen (32:20)
    • “In love... is a part of a person, is a part of who you are when you’re in love with them.” — Melissa (32:45)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I’ve just never been a guy that has been able to just take things in moderation... I have a tough time saying no to anything that is a good time.” — Bert (08:52)
• "If I want to go to Walmart at 2 o'clock in the morning, I don't have to... throw diapers in the car." — Debbie, on childfree independence (11:01)
• “You’re gonna be a good mom. You're gonna be a great wife... it’s all gonna be fine in the long run.” — Host to Jen (12:20)
• “When I am wrong, I will say that I’m wrong. The problem is, I am never wrong.” — Jeff (16:19)
• “If it was socially acceptable for you to go out and have as much sex with men as it is socially acceptable for men to have with women, would you do it?... women call up and say, oh, yeah.” — Bert (06:46)
• “Women fall in love via their ears and men fall in love via their eyes.” — Host (likely Bert) (07:30)
• “If your first gut instinct is that no, then go with your gut. Because there is a reason why you have that feeling.” — Cindy (27:02)
• "Loving someone and caring for someone is more of a best friendship." — Jen (32:20)
• "In love is internal. It is a part of a person, is a part of who you are when you’re in love with them." — Melissa (32:45)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:30 – Listeners call in to give advice directly to Bert, Jen, Jeff, and Melissa.
• 02:07 – Advice for Bert on accepting aging and curbing excess.
• 03:01 – 04:24 – Listeners advise Jen about motherhood and work-life balance.
• 05:04 – 07:40 – Debate on gender double standards and the nature vs. nurture debate.
• 08:10 – 10:33 – Defining youthfulness—finding balance between fun and responsibility.
• 14:14 – Playful advice to Jeff on weight loss, life, and health.
• 16:01 – Jeff’s stance on apologies and being "always right."
• 20:08 – 33:10 – Cheryl’s proposal story, group debate, and calls on commitment and gut feelings.
• 32:20 – 32:45 – Discussion: “Love” vs. being “in love.”
• 33:11 – Show wrap-up and outro.

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The Bert Show community thrives on openness, humor, and thoughtful engagement with real-life issues. While callers and hosts poke fun at each other, the advice is rooted in honest concern, practicality, and empathy. Listeners are encouraged to weigh both their emotions and practical realities; whether it's about growing up, starting a family, or entering lifelong commitments, the consensus is: trust your gut, know yourself, communicate honestly, and don’t be afraid to live authentically (in moderation).

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Transcript

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[Bert]

The Birch Show.

[Host (likely Bert)]

All right, so we're asking you guys for Bert show advice. So, like, maybe Melissa said something over the last couple of months where you're like, this is so easy, Melissa. All you have to do is blank to get this fixed in your life. Or Jen or me or Jeff. 404-741-1005 Good morning, John.

[Caller John]

Good morning.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Hello, sir.

[Caller John]

How you doing, Burcho?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Awesome, sir. How are you?

[Caller John]

I'm great, thanks.

[Host (likely Bert)]

We're bracing ourself. I think we're all looking at each other like, oh, why are we opening ourselves up to this? What are you calling for? Go ahead, dude. Who you calling for?

[Caller John]

I'm calling for Bert.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

All right.

[Caller John]

What I wanted to say was I think, Bert, you need to let go of your youth.

[Jen]

Okay?

[Caller John]

Because I feel that I've been listening to the show Almost since the first day. And one of the things when you go out and party, it affects, it affects your wife. It affects the show to a certain extent. On some occasions when you lose your voice and you go out, you know, it's embarrassing.

[Bert]

You're a 52 year old man, John.

[Host (likely Bert)]

It's very good advice.

[Caller John]

So I think that would help, might help Stacy a little bit too.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I appreciate the advice.

[Caller John]

All right.

[Host (likely Bert)]

It's probably a little too late then. I got a tattoo over the weekend that I probably shouldn't have gotten also then. Huh?

[Caller John]

That's probably true.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Thank you. I think that's good advice.

[Caller John]

Okay.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Nothing wrong with that. Good morning, Jessica. You are on all the hits, Q100 and the Burt Show.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi. Yeah, I have some advice for Jen. Okay. I really want Jen to have a baby.

[Jen]

Oh, really?

[Bert]

Do you remember when she killed the Tamagotchi in 48 hours after leaving it in her hot car?

[Caller/Listener]

That's true, but two years ago I remember she had the whole pregnancy thing on the radio and when she took the pregnancy test and I had found out the day before that I was pregnant. And so Jen, I just want you to know right now you can have a nine month old riding in the back of your car like I do.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Right there with the Tamagotchi.

[Jen]

So you think I should have a baby just because you want me to or you think I'm ready? Maybe.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't know. Motherhood is. It's an amazing adventure. I mean, I really loved it. But I do have to admit your clubbing days are so over.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Right.

[Jen]

And can I ask you another question?

[Caller/Listener]

Sure.

[Jen]

Are you working still? Are you a full time mom?

[Caller/Listener]

I do part time real estate, but I'm pretty much a full time mom. I mean, I have like one listing that I do, so. Yeah, I've drastically cut back my work.

[Jen]

That's the hard part. Because how do I do that? I love this show. I don't want to stop working.

[Bert]

So if you have a kid, the.

[Caller/Listener]

Whole thing is with a kid, you're up at five o' clock anyway, so a lifestyle change won't really be much for you. But. Yeah, I don't know, that would be kind of an interesting thing that you'd have. You could just bring the kid along. I'm sure Bert won't mind.

[Bert]

All right.

[Jen]

I'm sure.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Plenty of kids in the studio already.

[Jen]

I could just breastfeed right here in.

[Caller/Listener]

Front of the mic.

[Host (likely Bert)]

We're all friends here. All right, so your advice to gen hobbyists? Have a kid.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, okay, thank you.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Thank you. All right, there we go. For Marianne. This one is for Jeff. Advice for the Burt Show. Good morning, Marianne.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. This is Perchon. Jeff. They make this nice little pill called Zoloft.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Jeff needs to be on Zoloft.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't know, it just sounds good.

[Bert]

Okay, thanks, Zoloft. Thanks for coming strong on my behalf.

[Melissa]

Is that the one with the little bouncy head?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yes.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Makes you happy.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good morning, Sean.

[Caller John]

Hey, good morning, guys. Advice to Melissa. Not really advice, but many times when I listen to the show, it seems like Melissa always takes the side of why is it a double standard for guys to do one thing and women to do another? And particularly in the area of relationships and sexual relationships, you know, she always says, well, why is it okay for guys to take a lot of partners or to be sexually independent, but women are told socially to be scared of sex and to be chased and all these kinds of things. And I think it's just more of a wiring thing.

[Caller/Listener]

Thing.

[Caller John]

It's really the DNA. Women just tend to be more particular and choosier about partners than men are. And I don't know if you guys have talked about. I know Melissa's not crazy. She knows that. But it just seems like when she says that, I always think, well, there's a reason why, you know, it's not just society telling us women can't be promiscuous. Women just more naturally are not.

[Jen]

Well, I.

[Melissa]

You know, I mean, it's a good argument. I just. I think the reason that I tend to. Because I do, it's a. I'm sure it's a mixture of nature versus nurture. But the reason that I always bring up behavior and society input is because I think people need to take responsibility for their actions. And I think too many times people use the excuse of nature. I'm just wired this way. I look at other women and make my girlfriend look, you know, feel uncomfortable because I gawk at women, because, you know what? I gotta look. I mean, I'm a guy. And so that's what bothers me is I think a lot of times, and it's for women, too, using that as an excuse to have bad behavior. And so I just. The reason I take the side I do is because I think every person, man or woman, has to be responsible for their actions.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I would say this also, that we have ask woman, like, if it was socially acceptable for you to go out and have as much sex with men as it is socially acceptable for men to have with women, would you do it. And across the board, women call up and say, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I don't know that it's a natural thing, I think. I think it's more of a social thing.

[Caller John]

Well, let me ask you this though, Burt. I mean, if we talk to everybody in the room, if you and Jeff and I walked in a room.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yep.

[Caller John]

And there was a fabulously good looking woman in there.

[Bert]

Oh, you guys wouldn't stand a chance.

[Caller John]

And we wanted. We attracted to her if there was. If there was. If she turned out to be just a raving bitch. Most guys, if she was still willing to sleep with them, they'd be like, oh, cool, I'll take it. Women could see the gorgeous guy in the room, be attracted to him, walk up to him. If he's a jerk, they're going to be turned off sexually and they're going to more than likely walk away from it.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yeah. Like, the only thing that my dad has ever said to me, that made total sense to me was that he said that women fall in love via their ears and men fall in love via their eyes.

[Caller John]

Yeah, I would. I would agree with that.

[Melissa]

And I think, you know, I mean, that's generalizing because I'm sure it depends on the woman's state of mind too, because there are plenty of women that probably want to go out one night stand. A guy's good looking, he may be dumb, he may be a jerk, but you know what? She's just in it for the night, so it doesn't matter. So I'm sure that, you know. I do. Yeah, I. But you can't take the social part out of it because women have never been able to be sexually free.

[Host (likely Bert)]

As with anything that we do on the show, we generally leave here without any real answers because we get we field calls on both sides. Good morning, Eve. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

This is for Bert. You know that guy that just called a little bit ago and told you, like, to, like, forget your youth?

[Bert]

Sure.

[Caller/Listener]

I totally disagree with that. I mean, you have to keep your youth because you only live once in life, and you're only on this earth for a certain amount of time. And your use is what makes you who you are. And if you give it up, you're gonna be old before your time. And then, you know, when you die, they won't have anything to talk about.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Well, the things that John said that do make sense, though, is, I mean, I still think that you can have a lot of fun without doing excess I've just never been a guy that has been able to just take things in moderation. Like when I do things, I just go, I just get stupid about it. I have a tough time saying no to anything. That is a good time.

[Bert]

What was the very first, first part of that sentence?

[Host (likely Bert)]

The thing that John said that made sense to me.

[Bert]

Yeah, well, John said that time without doing ecstasy.

[Host (likely Bert)]

No things in excess.

[Caller/Listener]

Excess. Excess is not bad. You know, I mean, I mean, I don't say no to a lot of things and I'm a lot older than you guys and I still go out and party and have a good time. Because you know what my theory is? I'm going to enjoy life and you should enjoy life. You shouldn't do anything to hurt anybody. But when I die, there's going to be three day funeral and they are.

[Caller John]

Going to party for you and they're going to.

[Caller/Listener]

And actually, I know a lot of people like that. And that's because if you don't do.

[Caller John]

It, you're just going to be miserable when you get older.

[Caller/Listener]

Trust me.

[Jen]

Isn't it a question of what defines youthfulness? Because I think for what you're saying about the excess part is a different thing than saying stay youthful. I mean, I think staying youthful is enjoying like innocent things, not necessarily youthful, meaning getting wasted kind of youthful. You know, I think it's.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, well, you don't have to get wasted to be youthful.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Right, right.

[Caller/Listener]

You know, you really don't. I mean, it's not so bad to get wasted once in a while.

[Host (likely Bert)]

You know, that's my problem is that. And I mean, in that part of this whole equation, I think that's what John was calling up about was, you know, going out and drinking and how it affects Stacy and how it affects you guys and how it affects Hayden and that. That's very true. That's very true. But I have never been able to turn it off. And that's why I'm trying to do this 60 day thing that I'm trying to do. So I half agree with what he's saying, but I see what you're saying also there's another part of that that has nothing to do with the alcoholism.

[Jen]

Right. Like, I think that what she's saying is stay youthful and have a good time. And I would agree with her. But it just depends on your definition of what is youthful. If your definition of what is youthful are the things that are hurting people in your life, then maybe you need to redefine that.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And I think you should stop Doing ecstasy.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Hey, Debbie, you're on all the hits. Q100, the Birch Show. Looking for advice from you guys. Go ahead.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi, guys. My advice is for Jen. And like I had told the lady that answered the phone, this is nothing against the lady who gave her advice about having a baby. So I hope I don't make her mad. But Jen, do not get her advice. I mean, I don't have kids and I'm 41 years old and I don't club a lot or anything. But you had said your answer quickly, like, well, what am I supposed to do about my job? You love your job. That's the, that's the main key thing, you know, everything is about you. I mean, you love your job. I love my job. I mean, I work a lot and it's so nice to be able to, hey, in the middle of the night if I want to go to Walmart at 2 o' clock in the morning, I don't have to take and, you know, throw diapers in the car and do this. I mean, kids are great, don't get me wrong. I love my niece and nephews, but it really does change a lot of people's lives. And like, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings that are listening, but kids sometimes, you know, they take away so much of your life because even my own sister, she don't have time for me. I mean. Or you're like the third wheel when you go out somewhere because, you know, you're sitting there and all the kids are jumping up and down and everything. You're sitting there thinking, oh, my God, I wish I was at a club.

[Jen]

Is this really Jessica?

[Melissa]

Yeah. I just think there are some people that are made to be parents and some that aren't. And I think you'll find in the evolution of this show, I think Jen will eventually have children. I do think Jen will be a mom. She wants to be a mom. I think she's suited to be a mom. Me, on the other hand, am not. So, I mean, I agree with her that I just, I do not see myself ever being a mother. And I. It's just not a part of me, but I think it's a part of Jen and just depends on who you are. You know, I think it's part of.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Life to stress out about everything that comes in your life that is a life change. But it's so from the outside looking in at you, Jen, it's so funny to me that you stress out about being successful in any part of your life because you're just one of these people that will do whatever is gonna have to be done in order to be successful at any given task. And task is in quotes and, like, you're gonna be a good mom. You're gonna be a great wife. You're gonna be great on the radio. You just work enough to make yourself good at everything. So from the outside, watching you stress about it is funny to me because I know it's all gonna be fine in the long run.

[Jen]

But don't you think that that stress is what fuels me?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Part of it? Probably.

[Jen]

I mean, I think if I took that away, then I'd probably get kind of lazy about everything and forget to feed my dogs or something like that.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

You know what I mean?

[Melissa]

And then turn into Melissa, who is the sl. Doesn't do everything. I do what I do to get by.

[Host (likely Bert)]

To get by.

[Melissa]

And, you know.

[Jen]

But you're a good mom to your doggie, Toby. I have to be. I have to. You know, I think that that's kind of what fuels me to do those things. But I do appreciate the advice about, like, kids or not kids and that sort of thing. And I definitely struggle with the work part. I think that's part that comes out of it because I, you know, I think everybody who becomes a mother wants to be a really good mother. And you have that struggle between, like, how are you going to do that with working and not working and, you know, where you can put your time and where you can't. And for many of us, not working is not an option.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Calls coming in for Jeff now. Advice for Jeff Dollar. Good morning, Mark. You're on all the Hits. Q100.

[Caller John]

All right, Jeff, I'm coming for you, big man. And I say this with all the love and the respect in the world because I think you're an important part of the show and you should stick around. But I was noticing the other day when you did the restaurants for doing brunch and how Jeff nailed every single one of them, what part of town they were in, where they were coming at. It dawned on me that if Jeff wasn't such a restaurant connoisseur, maybe he'd be able to see his feet and Jessica wouldn't have to remind him that he's a man.

[Bert]

Everybody's gotta have a hobby. And if I wanna know where every brunch in Atlanta is served in case somebody asks or I wanna go to multiple in the same day, I can do it.

[Caller John]

Knowing where they're at and eating in every one of them is a Little different.

[Bert]

That's my hobby. Ask Bert any patio in Atlanta and what beer they have on tap, he can do that.

[Caller John]

Yeah, but see, Bert's. The gym, you know, Jen goes to the gym. Melissa exercises the thumb with the remote. Finger, you know, but you, you. You know, you're the big man on the show, and you got to stick around. And big men die a lot faster than skinny man.

[Host (likely Bert)]

All right, so let's break down. What you're saying here is that you're concerned about Jeff's weight.

[Caller John]

Definitely. Because, I mean, I'm a fan of the show, and I think. And I think Jeff is a huge part of the chemistry in the show, for sure. And, you know, I think that he's not always. Do we agree? But I think always that, you know, he's got good things to say. And I'm just concerned that, you know, if he's going to let the weight get out of control now, he's got 10, 15 more years, and the weight's going to be way beyond his control.

[Bert]

Well, I'll tell you what. If I'm still working at this show in 10 or 15 more years and there's a chance I might die on the air, then God bless me figured.

[Caller/Listener]

Out it would be good radio.

[Bert]

I mean, if you want to hear somebody die on the air, there's other shows where people are getting up there in years. You can start listening to that. They can go at any minute now. They got a defibrillator under the board.

[Host (likely Bert)]

If you wanted to respond to the weight thing, seriously, how would you respond to it?

[Bert]

I don't know. I'm healthy. I go for walks every day. Walk the dog. I like to eat.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Jennifer.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes, Hello. Hi.

[Melissa]

Hi. Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, how are you guys this morning?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good, thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

My comment is for Jeff.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Caller/Listener]

Good Southern girls don't like guys that are mean.

[Bert]

That's why I married myself a good western girl.

[Caller/Listener]

No, when he's wrong, he needs to admit that he's wrong. I gladly see when someone needs an apology, when he needs to give an apology, then when people deserve an apology, he needs to give an apology.

[Bert]

This is a misconception, because I will. When I am wrong, I will say that I'm wrong. The problem is, I am never wrong. But if I am, I will apologize to those that I've offended. But it's tough when you're always right.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good morning, Jesse. You're on all the hits Q100.

[Melissa]

Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

First of all, I wanted to say I've been listening to you since you guys started out thank you. I even moved away for a little while and found out when I came back to Atlanta that Bert had had a baby at the same time I had had a baby about two months later. I have a two year old who's about the same age as your son.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Oh yeah, Congratulations. An awesome age, isn't it?

[Caller/Listener]

Uh huh. But I also. One thing I think a lot similar between maybe your life and my life is that after I had a child I started being really hard on myself. And I think you're really hard on yourself about the alcohol because of the way you were raised and your own concerns about your own father. And I think maybe, you know, you need to be lighten up on yourself a little bit.

[Bert]

Drinking a gin and tonic right now just so you know where you're coming from.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I think I'd probably respond to that the same way Jen responded when I said that. It's funny for me to look at her stress over about being successful because I think in every area of my life I'm pretty hard on myself. But I also think that that's what fuels me to get the little successes that I get. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller/Listener]

I would agree. I would agree. And I think that's the same for me as well. I think it's just you can do it in moderation and I think you're being cognizant of that is a great thing, you know, that in and of itself is a step in the right direction, you know, so most alcoholics, I don't think are very cognizant that they have a problem or I wonder if that's true.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I wonder if like most alcoholics don't know that they're alcoholics or if they do know and they choose just not to do anything about it. Because I think the latter is probably true. Yeah, I think most alcoholics, I think.

[Bert]

In the back of the. I think in the back of everyone's mind they know the truth.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I think so too.

[Bert]

But there's stuff that you choose, you prioritize things differently and it's not a priority.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Agree.

[Caller/Listener]

The Bird show.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law not available in all states.

[Jen]

From building timelines to assigning the right.

[Melissa]

People and even spotting risks across dozens of projects, Monday Sidekick knows your business.

[Caller/Listener]

Thinks ahead and takes action.

[Melissa]

One click on the star and consider it done.

[Host (likely Bert)]

And I owe it all to you.

[Caller/Listener]

Try Monday Sidekick AI you'll love to use on Monday.com.

[Host (likely Bert)]

All right, we're going to call this Bert show listener Cheryl. She's kind of doing a big time, kind of a paddle back at this point, and she needs Bert show community help. Good morning, Cheryl.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi.

[Host (likely Bert)]

How are you today?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm okay.

[Host (likely Bert)]

What's going on?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I've been seeing my boyfriend for four years, and a week ago he took me out to this incredible romantic dinner and he proposed to me.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Hold on a sec. We already got some, some a timeline that we need filled in. What do you mean, you haven't seen him in four years or you've been seeing him for four years?

[Caller/Listener]

I've been seeing him for four years.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Got it. Okay.

[Caller/Listener]

I've been seeing him for four years and a week ago he proposed to me and it was incredibly romantic. And I really kind of freaked out and just all these thoughts went rushing through my mind about, you know, I'm too young, I'm not ready for this. I don't want to get, you know, it's just not time to get married. And I freaked out and I said no. And we finished dinner and we got in the car and we lived together. But he dropped me off and left. And I haven't seen him for a week. And he's come by the house and like, you know, gotten stuff and done stuff when I'm not there. And he's left me notes saying, you know, I'm okay, I just need some time away and I don't know what to do. And of course now I'm thinking, I mean, I love him dearly. I just think I was ready. And now I think, well, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and why wouldn't I want to get married? And how is it possible to rectify the Situation.

[Host (likely Bert)]

So you essentially want to go back and say, hey, I messed up a couple of whatever days ago and I do really love you and I want to marry you.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, basically, yes.

[Melissa]

I have two questions. One, you know, had you discussed marriage with him at all before this happened? And two, do you really want to marry him or are you just sad because you haven't seen him in a week?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, no, we'd never formally discussed getting married, but we've discussed being together forever. We've been together for four years and we, you know, love each other and whatnot. But when just the proposal really took me off guard in the ring and the whole thing, what was the other question? I mean, no, I love him. And I mean, of course, now I'm. I. You know, the little part of me is wondering, well, should I go with my first instinct? With my first instinct.

[Caller John]

Right.

[Caller/Listener]

But so I. You know, I love him to death and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to say yes. I don't think it's because he's upset.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Okay, 404-741-1005, if you have any kind of advice for Cheryl here.

[Jen]

What are the words you use when you told him no?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I. Not sure if I remember everything because I was a little bit panicked, but I just. Yeah, I mean, that's basically all I said. I was like, no. You know, and I guess that was not such a great thing.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Well, was there a no? I'm not ready. I mean, it obviously just wasn't no. And then he left, was it? I'm just not ready for that yet. I'm just not.

[Bert]

What you talking about, Willis?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, it was. It was more of a no. And then dead silence. It was. I mean, I didn't. I didn't get a chance to really explain myself because I think I was in just such shock that I just said no.

[Bert]

Isn't it some. Isn't it cool how in times like that the silence can seem even louder?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, it did.

[Bert]

You know how silence can seem like that's loud silence.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Right. Or the. The seconds feel like hours.

[Bert]

Like you almost like if you're there and you're, like, outside and it's silent, you look up and there's a plane flying over, but you can't hear it because the silence is so loud. That's neat.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I think you almost saved yourself by just being silent because it's not like you were given a whole bunch of excuses why you couldn't get married and now have to go and renege. On those.

[Caller/Listener]

Right.

[Host (likely Bert)]

You said nothing. So to go back to him and say, look, I got to be honest with you. I just kind of panicked about the whole thing, and I love you, and in thinking about it, I'm sorry I panicked. But, yes, of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Is there anything wrong with that?

[Melissa]

No. I mean, I do believe she has to talk to him, be honest with him. I just feel. I feel so bad for him because, you know, it just made me think of. I understand why guys get confused because, I mean, after four years of dating, it seemed like a, you know, sure thing. They talked about being together forever. He came up with this big, romantic, you know, proposal. And I just. Yeah, that's a great question that Jen posed because, I mean, just to say no, and then nothing else.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Silence.

[Melissa]

Ouch.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good morning, John. You are on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller John]

How y' all doing?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good. Thank you, sir.

[Caller John]

Cheryl, my advice to you is, I've been dating my girlfriend for three years, and we've talked about the marriage thing, stuff like that. My advice to you is a good way to redeem yourself. Go get a. Get a ring and propose to him yourself.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Propose to him yourself. Turn it around and propose yourself.

[Caller/Listener]

That's actually not a bad idea.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Reaction to that.

[Melissa]

Well, don't you think, though? I mean, you're gonna have to be prepared because he's gonna pose. Why now? You know, at least I'm assuming he will, because, I mean, you. You shot him down pretty hard a week ago, and, you know, like, I'm assuming he's gonna question you on, well, why now? Like, I questioned you earlier, like, are your reasons why. Do you really want to marry me, or are you just trying to make up for an embarrassing moment?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I really want to marry him. I love him to death. I think that, like, I mean, maybe taking your advice from before, since I didn't say anything, now I'll be able to say, look, I felt like, you know, for a moment that we were too young and I wasn't ready. But now I realize that I am. And I've always talked about being with you for the rest of my life, and. And maybe just when it actually happened, I was so taken off guard that it just. I wigged out. I love him to death, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just hope that. I mean, if I proposed to him, do you think a guy would be, like, put off by that?

[Bert]

Yep.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I don't know if it'd be. I don't know, I think I'd just rather hear. Rather than a formal proposal, I think I'd just rather hear you say, I freaked. I just freaked. I mean, what guy can't relate to that? About the fear of commitment.

[Bert]

Now he's gonna grill you. Are you 100% certain that this is the man for the rest of your life?

[Caller/Listener]

Yes.

[Bert]

No doubt in your mind?

[Caller/Listener]

No.

[Bert]

None?

[Caller/Listener]

No. I love him.

[Bert]

Okay.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Why you ask?

[Bert]

Because I. Like, if the situation were me and I proposed to Jessica and she said no, and then she came back to me and said I changed my mind. I mean, I would be grilling her. Like, why did you say no? Why? Like, I just don't want there to be any, like, any doubt whatsoever, you know, like.

[Melissa]

No, because if your first reaction is not to say yes, then something's wrong.

[Host (likely Bert)]

That's what Cindy's calling about. Hey, Cindy.

[Bert]

Whole women's intuition that they try to convince us they've got.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I think we've proved that wrong. Hey, Cindy.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, hi.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Haven't we, Jeff? What's going on?

[Caller/Listener]

Nothing much, except I was listening to the show this morning and I had a similar experience and I. And my gut reaction was no. But then after I thought about it a little bit, I went back and I said yes. And then seven years later, I got divorced. Even the day of my wedding, my dad stood in the. When it comes to get in the back room when you're there in your wedding dress. My dad, are you sure this is what you want? And I still had that little bit of doubt. And I kept saying to myself, well, maybe it's just the wedding jitters. Maybe what I'm saying is that if your first gut instinct is that no, then go with your gut. Because there is a reason why you have that feeling. Because when you really. And I'm married a second time, and when I got married the second time, I had absolutely no doubt. I was so excited that he proposed to me at 3 o' clock in the morning, I called everyone in my family. I was so excited about it. We've been married eight years and it's great. But my first marriage was not. And so many times I wish I could go back and do it all over again. Because I had that. I knew that I said no the first time, my gut said no, I said no. And I went back and changed it because I felt sorry for him. I mean, I felt bad because he was miserable and he was a very nice guy and he still is a wonderful person. He was just not the right person for Me.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Hey, Cheryl, good advice. Cheryl, have you done, like. I mean, you must have done some soul searching on why your immediate answer was no.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, I think that my immediate answer was no, not because I questioned him. I think it was just the. I started feeling like I'm too young, I'm not ready. I don't know even where I want to live. I don't even, you know, so what's.

[Melissa]

Changed in a week?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yeah, what's changed in a week? Why are those questions all of a sudden answered?

[Caller/Listener]

Because I realized what do any of those questions matter if I'm with the man that I love? Why does it matter if, you know, I don't know where I want to live or I'm too young? Well, who cares? What does it matter if I love him, I want to be with him.

[Host (likely Bert)]

A couple more calls. Hey, Nick, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller John]

Nick. Yes, sir.

[Host (likely Bert)]

You're up, buddy.

[Caller John]

Okay, where do I start? You know, first of all, I just got married on Saturday. And let me just say this. If you have to convince yourself, it sounds like she's talking herself into it, you know, I mean, this guy did a whole, whole lot of planning. And especially if it took you by surprise that much. I mean, he obviously did a good job. He obviously planned pretty well. And he was. He was proud. He was going to ask you. He did so much work. And when you shot him down, I guarantee you he's scarred for life now. So when he comes back, you say, oh, you know, I'm sorry. I thought about it, you know, you know, I made a mistake. You know, you guys have been together what, about four years, and, you know, you've all of a sudden may have had an epiphany in the last week. I don't think he's going to buy that. And, you know, like the lady previous said, you know, if your gut first gut reaction is not good, then you should just go with that, because I don't think he's going to trust you after that, to be honest with you.

[Host (likely Bert)]

What do you have?

[Melissa]

Melissa, the only thing that you said earlier that concerns me is you said, why? Why do those things matter if I'm with the man I love? And I think that, you know, when you're. When you're truly with somebody that you care about, in love with, you know, there is. That's kind of the glue that holds all those issues together. But the thing is, you still have to address those issues. I think a lot of times when couples. Well, we're in love and love will carry us through it all. That's not realistic. You know, problems come up. You need to be concerned about where you live. You need to be concerned about your age. You need to be concerned about these things. So I. My concern is, yes, you compromise with the one you love, but you don't totally disregard your own personal needs because you're with someone that you think you're in love with. Does that make sense?

[Host (likely Bert)]

Yeah. Good morning, Sarah. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, guys. I was calling. I don't. I think she's really immature about the whole thing. She keeps saying that she. She loves him and she loves him to death and all these things, but she's not saying that she's in love with him. And if she's got second guesses at all. I've been married. I've been with my husband for 12 years. Married for. Married for nine. And she just doesn't seem like she's in love with him. She's, you know, she may love him, but she's got to be in love with him.

[Host (likely Bert)]

I want to stop you right there for a second because I want women to define this statement for guys, because I have never understood this. I love you. I'm just not in love with you. Help me with that. What does that mean?

[Caller/Listener]

Well, it means that you would do anything for this person. You love them more than your own life. You love them more than life itself. You don't just. I can love my best friend or my next door neighbor, but I'm not in love with them. In love with them means that you want to be intimate and share your most intimate secrets and everything with them. But you don't. You don't, you know, it's more than just loving someone.

[Jen]

I think. I think in love has the butterflies, you know, that little, like, extra flutter that you get with someone you're in love with. I think love, you know, loving someone and caring for someone is more of like a best friendship.

[Bert]

Like, Bert loves me. Melissa and Jen are in love with me.

[Melissa]

Right? Well, I think. I think they're.

[Host (likely Bert)]

No, no. I'm in love with you, too.

[Melissa]

Yeah. I think love, loving and caring about somebody's almost can be external. I care about you. I love you. But in love is internal. It is a part of a person, is a part of who you are when you're in love with them.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Hey, Cheryl, we gotta run. I hope we gave you a couple of different angles to take on. And we never promised that we're gonna solve your problems. But we at least can give you a couple of different angles to take.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, you did. I appreciate it.

[Host (likely Bert)]

All right.

[Caller/Listener]

All right. Thank you.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Good luck.

[Caller/Listener]

Thanks.

[Bert]

Bye.

[Host (likely Bert)]

Bye.

[Bert]

The Birch show.

[Boost Mobile Announcer]

This is Paige desorbo from Giggly Squad. Boost Mobile gives you the same network coverage, speed and service you're used to, just at a more affordable price. Why pay more if you don't have to? Offering reliable nationwide coverage backed by a 30 day money back guarantee. Love your service or get your money back, no questions asked. Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store or head to boostmobile.com to learn more. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers who cancel within 30 days of activation will have Boost service fees refunded, activation fees if applicable, and phone payments will not be refunded.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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